Li’l Abner

''Li'l Abner'' is a satirical American comic strip that appeared in many newspapers in the United States, Canada and Europe. It featured a fictional clan of hillbillies in the impoverished mountain village of Dogpatch, USA. Written and drawn by Al Capp (1909–1979), the strip ran for 43 years – from August 13, 1934, through November 13, 1977. The Sunday page debuted six months after the daily, on February 24, 1935. It was originally distributed by United Feature Syndicate and, later by the Chicago Tribune New York News Syndicate.

Comic strips typically dealt with northern urban experiences before Capp introduced Li'l Abner, the first strip based in the South. The comic strip had 60 million readers in over 900 American newspapers and 100 foreign papers in 28 countries. Capp "had a profound influence on the way the world viewed the American South."

Cast

Main characters

Li'l Abner Yokum: Abner's character was tall and perpetually 19 years old. He was portrayed as a naive, simpleminded, gullible and sweet-natured hillbilly. He lived in a ramshackle log cabin with his pint-sized parents. Capp derived the family name "Yokum" as a combination of ''yokel'' and ''hokum''. (Although it is also the approximate Northern European pronunciation of the name "Joachim".) In Capp's satirical and often complex plots, Abner was a country bumpkin Candide—a paragon of innocence in a sardonically dark and cynical world. Abner had no visible means of support, although his character earned his livelihood as a "crescent cutter" for the Little Wonder Privy Company and later "mattress tester" for the Stunned Ox Mattress Company. During World War II, the Abner character was drafted into the role as mascot emblem of the Patrol Boat Squadron 29. In one post-World War II storyline, Abner became a US Air Force bodyguard of Steve Cantor (a parody of Steve Canyon) against the evil bald female spy Jewell Brynner (a parody of actor Yul Brynner). Early in the strip's history, Abner's primary goal in the storyline was evading the marital designs of Daisy Mae Scragg, the virtuous, voluptuous, barefoot Dogpatch damsel and scion of the Yokums' blood feud enemies — the Scraggs, who were her character's bloodthirsty kinfolk. For 18 years of the run of the strip, Abner slipped out of Daisy Mae's marital crosshairs time and time again. When Capp finally gave in to reader pressure and allowed the couple to tie the knot, it was a major media event. It even made the cover of ''Life'' magazine on March 31, 1952 — illustrating an article by Capp titled "It's Hideously True!! The Creator of ''Li'l Abner'' Tells Why His Hero Is ''(SOB!)'' Wed!!"

Daisy Mae Yokum (née Scragg): Beautiful Daisy Mae's character was hopelessly in love with Dogpatch's most prominent resident throughout the entire 43-year run of Al Capp's comic strip. During most of the epic, the impossibly dense Abner exhibited little romantic interest in her voluptuous charms (much of it visible daily thanks to her famous polka-dot peasant blouse and cropped skirt). In 1952, Abner reluctantly proposed to Daisy to emulate the engagement of his comic strip "ideel", ''Fearless Fosdick''. Fosdick's own wedding to longtime fiancée Prudence Pimpleton turned out to be a dream — but Abner and Daisy's ceremony, performed by Marryin' Sam, was permanent. Abner and Daisy Mae's nuptials were a major source of media attention, landing them on the aforementioned cover of ''Life'' magazine's March 31, 1952, issue. Once married, Abner became relatively domesticated. Like Mammy Yokum and the other "wimmenfolk" in Dogpatch, Daisy Mae did all the work, domestic and otherwise — while the menfolk generally did nothing whatsoever.

Mammy Yokum: Born Pansy Hunks, Mammy was the scrawny, highly principled "sassiety" leader and bare knuckle "champeen" of the town of Dogpatch. She had married the inconsequential Pappy Yokum in 1902; they produced two strapping sons twice their own size. Mammy dominated the Yokum clan through the force of her personality, and dominated everyone else with her fearsome right uppercut (sometimes known as her "Goodnight, Irene" punch), which helped her uphold law, order and decency. She is consistently the toughest character throughout ''Li'l Abner.'' A superhuman dynamo, Mammy did all the household chores — and provided her charges with no fewer than eight meals a day of "po'k chops" and "tarnips" (as well as local Dogpatch delicacies like "candied catfish eyeballs" and "trashbean soup"). Her authority was unquestioned, and her characteristic phrase, "Ah has ''spoken!"'', signaled the end of all further discussion. Her most familiar phrase, however, is "Good is better than evil becuz it's ''nicer!"'' (Upon his retirement in 1977, Capp declared Mammy to be his personal favorite of all his characters.) Li'l Abner's mom is the only character in the Dogpatch universe capable of defeating him in hand-to-hand combat.

Pappy Yokum: Born Lucifer Ornamental Yokum, pint-sized Pappy had the misfortune of being the patriarch in a family that didn't have one. Pappy was so lazy and ineffectual, he didn't even bathe himself. Mammy was regularly seen scrubbing Pappy in an outdoor oak tub ("Once a month, rain or shine"). Ironing Pappy's trousers fell under her wifely duties as well, although she didn't bother with preliminaries — like waiting for Pappy to remove them first. Pappy is dull-witted and gullible (in one storyline after he is conned by Marryin' Sam into buying Vanishing cream because he thinks it makes him ''invisible'' when he picks a fight with his nemesis Earthquake McGoon), but not completely without guile. He had an unfortunate predilection for snitching "preserved turnips" and smoking corn silk behind the woodshed — much to his chagrin when Mammy caught him. Pappy Yokum wasn't always feckless, however. After his lower wisdom teeth grew so long that they squeezed his cerebral Goodness Gland and emerged as forehead horns, he proved himself capable of evil. Mammy solved the problem with a tooth extraction and ended the episode with her most famous dictum.

Honest Abe Yokum: Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae's little boy was born in 1953 "after a pregnancy that ambled on so long that readers began sending me medical books", wrote Capp. Initially known as "Mysterious Yokum" (there was even an Ideal doll marketed under this name) due to a debate regarding his gender (he was stuck in a pants-shaped stovepipe for the first six weeks), he was renamed "Honest Abe" (after President Abraham Lincoln) to thwart his early tendency to steal. His first words were "po'k chop", and that remained his favorite food. Though his uncle Tiny was perpetually frozen at 15 "y'ars" old, Honest Abe gradually grew from infant to grade school age, and became a dead ringer for Washable Jones — the star of Capp's early " topper" strip. He would eventually acquire a couple of supporting character friends for his own semi-regularly featured adventures in the strip. In one storyline, he lives up to his nickname when during a nationwide search for a pair of socks sewn by Betsy Ross; after finding that his father was the current owner and preparing to trade them for the reward (a handshake from the President of the United States), he confesses at the last second that they were not his to give.

Tiny Yokum: "Tiny" was a misnomer; Li'l Abner's kid brother remained perpetually innocent and 15 "y'ars" old — despite the fact that he was an imposing, tall behemoth. Tiny was unknown to the strip until September 1954, when a relative who had been raising him reminded Mammy that she'd given birth to a second "chile" while visiting her 15 years earlier. (The relative explained that she would have dropped him off sooner, but waited until she happened to be in the neighborhood.) Capp introduced Tiny to fill the bachelor role played reliably for nearly two decades by Li'l Abner himself, until his fateful 1952 marriage threw the carefully orchestrated dynamic of the strip out of whack for a period. Pursued by local lovelies Hopeful Mudd and Boyless Bailey, Tiny was even dumber and more awkward than Abner, if that can be imagined. Tiny initially sported a bulbous nose like both of his parents, but eventually, (through a plot contrivance) he was given a nose job, and his shaggy blond hair was buzz cut to make him more appealing.

Salomey: The Yokums' beloved pet pig. Cute, lovable and intelligent (arguably smarter than Abner, Tiny or Pappy), she was accepted as part of the family ("the youngest", as Mammy invariably introduces her). She is 100% "Hammus Alabammus" — an adorable species of pig, and the last female known in existence. A plump, juicy ''Hammus Alabammus'' is the rarest and most vital ingredient of "ecstasy sauce", an indescribably delicious gourmet delicacy. Consequently, Salomey is frequently targeted by unscrupulous sportsmen, hog breeders and gourmands (like J.R. Fangsley and Bounder J. Roundheels), as well as unsavory wild boars with improper intentions (such as Boar Scarloff and Porknoy). Her moniker was a pun on both salami and Salome.

Supporting characters and villains

* Marryin' Sam: A traveling (by mule) preacher who specializes in $2 weddings. He also offered the $8 "ultra-deluxe speshul", a spectacular ceremony in which Sam officiates while being drawn and quartered by four rampaging jackasses. He cleans up once a year — during Sadie Hawkins Day season, when slow-footed bachelors are dragged kicking and screaming to the altar by their prospective brides-to-be. Sam, whose face and figure were reportedly modeled after New York City mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, started out as a stock villain but gradually softened into a genial, opportunistic comic foil. He wasn't above chicanery to achieve his ends, and was warily viewed by Dogpatch menfolk as a traitor to his gender. Sam was prominently featured on the cover of ''Life'' in 1952 when he presided over the celebrated wedding of Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae. In the 1956 Broadway musical and 1959 film adaptation, Sam was played by rotund actor Stubby Kaye.
* Moonbeam McSwine: The unwashed but shapely form of languid, delectable Moonbeam was one of the iconic hallmarks of ''Li'l Abner'' — an unkempt, impossibly lazy, corncob pipe-smoking, flagrant (and ''fragrant)'', raven-haired, earthly (and ''earthy)'' woman. Beautiful Moonbeam preferred the company of pigs to suitors — much to the frustration of her equally lazy pappy, Moonshine McSwine. She was usually showcased luxuriating among the hogs, somewhat removed from the main action of the story, in a deliberate parody of glamour magazines and pinup calendars of the day. Capp designed her in caricature of his wife Catherine (minus the dirt), who had also suggested Daisy Mae's name. In one comic, it is revealed that she bears a striking resemblance to a wealthy, well-dressed and well-washed woman named Gloria Van Welbuilt, a famous socialite. Despite her lazy nature and dirty appearance, she was generally portrayed as good-natured and kind as shown when she ran off to Dogpatch, carrying two shmoos under her arms to save them from going extinct, wondering if humanity would ever be good enough for them. She also consoled Abner to stop worrying about being a father. Moonbeam also seemed to have interests in romance as in some strips, she was seen flirting with and even kissing various male characters, including Abner. She once expressed the desire to have a family of her own and she actually discussed the matter of trapping a husband (if she got cleaned up) with Abner. In one strip, it was revealed that Moonbeam was in fact in love with Abner when they were children. In the same strip, it was shown that Moonbeam's disposition for filth was born out of a failure to understand the turn-ons of Abner when he was a child. Strangely she actually disliked hogs as a child, but after seeing Abner ignoring the openly romantic advances of a clean Daisy Mae, she dived right into a mud hole headfirst where some hogs were wallowing to earn his love, believing that if Abner didn't like clean girls he must have liked them dirty. Much to her disappointment, however, this, too, failed to capture his attention. Moonbeam was also unknowingly the star of a horror movie directed by Rock Pincus, head film director of a race known as the Pincushions, from planet Pincus 7. Unfortunately, this venture ended in tragedy for Rock when he was unknowingly grilled, put into a hot dog bun and devoured while he was still alive.
* Hairless Joe and Lonesome Polecat: The proud purveyors of "Kickapoo Joy Juice" — a moonshine elixir of such stupefying potency that the fumes alone have been known to melt the rivets off battleships, possibly inspired by a real patent medicine named "Kickapoo Indian Sagwa" although it was produced in Connecticut. Concocted in a large wooden vat by the inseparable cave-dwelling buddies Lonesome Polecat (of the "Fried Dog" Indian tribe, later known as the Polecats, "the one tribe who have never been conquered") and Hairless Joe (a hirsute, club-wielding, modern Cro-Magnon — who frequently made good on his oft-repeated threat, "Ah'll ''bash'' yore ''haid'' in!") The ingredients of the brew are both mysterious and all-encompassing (much like the contents of their cave, which has been known to harbor prehistoric monsters). When a batch "needs more body", the formidable pair simply goes out and clubs one (often a moose), and tosses it in. Over the years, the "recipe" has called for live grizzly bears, panthers, kerosene, horseshoes and anvils, among other ingredients. An officially licensed soft drink called Kickapoo Joy Juice is still produced by the Monarch Beverage Company of Atlanta, Georgia. Lonesome Polecat was also the official team mascot of the Sioux City Soos (1940–1960), a former Minor League baseball franchise of Sioux City, Iowa.
* Joe Btfsplk: The world's worst jinx, Joe Btfsplk had a perpetually dark rain cloud over his head. Instantaneous bad luck befell anyone unfortunate enough to be in his vicinity. Though well-meaning and friendly, his reputation inevitably precedes him so Joe is a very lonely little man and thus associates himself with the Scraggs, except in World War II when Joe decided to do his patriotic duty and associate himself with Hirohito. He has an apparently unpronounceable name, but creator Al Capp "pronounced" Btfsplk by simply blowing a "raspberry", or Bronx cheer. Joe's personal storm cloud became one of the most iconic images in the strip.

* Senator Jack S. Phogbound: His name was a thinly disguised variant on "jackass", as made plain in his deathless campaign slogan (see Dialogue and catchphrases). The senator was satirist Al Capp's parody of a blustering self-serving Southern politician. Before 1947, Phogbound had been known as Fogbound, but in that year Phogbound "blackmails his fellow Washington senators to appropriate two million dollars to establish Phogbound University", and its attendant brass statue of Phogbound, both reminiscent of self-aggrandizements by Huey Long; the name change allowed Capp to sharpen the joke by calling the university P.U. Phogbound is a corrupt, conspiratorial blowhard; he often wears a coonskin cap and carries an old fashioned flintlock rifle to impress his gullible constituents. In one sequence, Phogbound is unable to campaign in Dogpatch, so he sends his aides with an old, hot-air-filled gas bag that resembles him, and nobody noticed the difference.
* Available Jones: Avaricious Dogpatch entrepreneur Available Jones was always available for a price. He had many sidelines, including minding babies ("Dry" for 5¢, "Other kinds" for 10¢). He provided anything from safety pins to battleships, but his most famous "provision" was his cousin, Stupefyin' Jones.
* Stupefyin' Jones: A walking aphrodisiac, Stupefyin' was so drop-dead gorgeous that any male who glimpsed her froze petrified in his tracks and rooted to the spot. While she was generally favored by the males of Dogpatch, she could be deadly for a confirmed bachelor to encounter on Sadie Hawkins Day. Statuesque actress Julie Newmar became famous overnight for playing the small role in the 1956 ''Li'l Abner'' Broadway musical (and the 1959 film adaptation) without uttering a single line.

* General Bullmoose: Created by Al Capp in June 1953, Bashington T. Bullmoose was the epitome of a mercenary, cold-blooded capitalist tyrant tycoon. Bullmoose's bombastic motto (see Dialogue and catchphrases) was adapted by Capp from a statement made by Charles E. Wilson, the former head of General Motors when it was America's largest corporation. In 1952, Wilson told a Senate subcommittee, "What is good for the country is good for General Motors, and vice-versa." Wilson later served as United States Secretary of Defense under President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bullmoose had a simple boyhood dream: to possess all the money in the world – which he very nearly did, as Bullmoose Industries seemed to own or control all businesses in Dogpatch. He had a milquetoast son named Weakfish, and was sometimes accompanied by his delectable "secretary", Bim Bovak (whose name was a pun on both "bimbo" and bombshell actress Kim Novak). Li'l Abner became embroiled in many globetrotting adventures with the ruthless, reactionary billionaire over the years. Despite his adamantine exterior, General Bullmoose was still capable of a kind of capitalist gallantry. "Those Slobbovians .v.have done me out of a hundred thousand dollars!" he once exclaimed, after falling victim to a fraud. "Nearly an hour's income, bless 'em!"
* Wolf Gal: An irredeemably feral Amazonian beauty who was raised by wolves and preferred to live among them; she lured unwary Dogpatchers to their doom to feed her ravenous pack. Wolf Gal was possibly, and even probably a cannibal, but the point was never stressed since she considered herself an animal, as did the rest of Dogpatch. One of Capp's more popular villains, Wolf Gal was briefly merchandised in the fifties with her own comic book, doll, handpuppet, and even a latex Halloween mask.
* Earthquake McGoon: Billing himself as "the world's dirtiest wrassler", the bearded, bloated McGoon first appeared in ''Li'l Abner'' as a traveling exhibition wrestler in the late 1930s, and was reportedly partially based on real-life grappler Man Mountain Dean. He also has a look-alike cousin named Typhoon McGoon. McGoon became increasingly prominent in the ''Li'l Abner'' Cream of Wheat print ads of the 1940s, and later, with the early television exposure of gimmicky wrestlers such as Gorgeous George. Earthquake is the nastiest resident of neighboring Skonk Hollow — a nightmarish, notoriously lawless community where no sane Dogpatcher dares set foot. The randy McGoon often attempted to walk Daisy Mae home "Skonk Hollow style", the lascivious implications of which are never made specific.
* The ''(shudder!)'' Scraggs: Hulking, leering, gap-toothed twin miscreants Lem and Luke and their needlessly proud pappy, Romeo. Apelike and gleefully homicidal, the impossibly evil Scraggs were officially declared inhuman by an act of Congress, and passed the time by burning down orphanages just to have light to read by (although they quickly remembered that they were illiterate). Distant kinfolk of Daisy Mae, they carried on a blood feud with the Yokums throughout the run of the strip; in their first introduction after being run out of a Kentucky county at gunpoint, they tried to kill Li'l Abner but were beaten up by both Abner and Mammy Yokum. Mammy then banished the Scraggs to Skonk Hollow with a dividing line between Skonk Hollow and Dogpatch, with the understanding that although the Scraggs couldn't cross the line, any member of Dogpatch who did cross became their prey. A long-lost kid sister, named "*@!!*!"-Belle Scragg, briefly joined the clan in 1947. Fetchingly attired in a prison-striped reform school miniskirt, "*@!!*!"-Belle was outwardly attractive but just as rotten as her siblings on the inside. Her censored first name was an expletive, compelling everyone who addressed her to apologize profusely afterward.
* Nightmare Alice: Dogpatch's own "conjurin' woman", a hideous, cackling crone who practiced Louisiana Voodoo and black magic. Capp named her after the carnival-themed horror film, '' Nightmare Alley'' (1947). She employs witchcraft to "whomp up" ghosts and monsters to do her bidding. She was occasionally assisted by Doctor Babaloo, a witch doctor of the Belgian Congo, as well as her demon-child niece Scary Lou, who specializes in vexing voodoo dolls that resemble Li'l Abner.
* Ole Man Mose: The mysterious Mose was reportedly hundreds of "y'ars" old, and lived like a hermit in a cave atop a mountain, obstinately refusing to "kick the bucket", which was conveniently positioned just outside his cave door. His wisdom is absolute ("Ole Man Mose — ''he knows!"''), and his sought-after annual Sadie Hawkins Day predictions — though frustratingly cryptic and infuriatingly misleading — are nonetheless 100% accurate.
* Evil Eye Fleagle: Fleagle has a unique and terrifying skill: the evil eye. An ordinary "whammy", as he called it, could stop a charging bull in its tracks. A "double whammy" could fell a skyscraper, leaving Fleagle exhausted. His dreaded "triple whammy" could melt a battleship, but would practically kill Fleagle in the process. The zoot suit-clad Fleagle was a native of Brooklyn, and his burlesque New York accent was unmistakable — especially when addressing his "goil", the zaftig Shoiley. Fleagle was so popular, licensed plastic replicas of Fleagle's face were produced in the 1950s, to be worn like lapel pins. Battery-operated, the wearer could pull a string and produce a flashing light bulb "whammy". Fleagle was reportedly based on a real-life character, a Runyonesque local boxing trainer and hanger-on named Benjamin "Evil Eye" Finkle. Finkle and his famous "hex" were a ringside fixture in New York boxing circles during the 1930s/40s. Fleagle was vividly portrayed by character actor Al Nesor in the aforementioned stage play and film.
* J. Roaringham Fatback: The bloated, self-styled "Pork King" was a greedy, gluttonous, unscrupulous business tycoon. Incensed to find that Dogpatch cast a shadow on his breakfast egg, he had the whole community moved to his convenience.
* Gat Garson: Li'l Abner's ''doppelgänger'', a murderous racketeer with a predilection for Daisy Mae.
* Aunt Bessie: Mammy's socialite kid sister, the Duchess of Bopshire, was the "white sheep" of the family. Bessie's string of marriages into Boston and Park Avenue aristocracy left her a class-conscious, condescending snob. Her status-seeking crusades to make Abner over and marry him off into high society were always doomed to failure. Aunt Bessie virtually disappeared from the strip after Abner and Daisy Mae's marriage in 1952, apparently having conceded defeat in her attempt to remake Abner in her own image as a social climber.
* Big Barnsmell: The lonely "inside man" at the "Skonk Works" — a dilapidated factory located on the remote outskirts of Dogpatch. Scores of locals are done in yearly by the toxic fumes of concentrated "skonk oil", which is brewed and barreled daily by Barnsmell and his cousin ("outside man" Barney Barnsmell) by grinding dead skunks and worn shoes into a smoldering still, for some unspecified purpose. His job played havoc with his social life ("He has an air about him", as Dogpatchers tactfully put it), and the name of his famous facility entered the modern lexicon via the Lockheed Skunk Works project.
* Soft-Hearted John: Dogpatch's impossibly mercenary, thoroughly blackhearted grocer, the ironically named Soft-Hearted John gleefully swindled and starved his clientele, and looked disturbingly satanic to boot. He had an idiot nephew who sometimes ran the store in his stead, aptly named Soft-Headed John.
* Smilin' Zack: Cadaverous, outwardly peaceable mountaineer with a menacing grin and an even more menacing shotgun, and preferred things "quiet" to the point of silence. Zack's moniker was a take-off on another comic strip, ''The Adventures of Smilin' Jack'' by Zack Mosley.
* Dr. Killmare: The local Dogpatch physician, who just happened to be a horse doctor. His name was a pun on the sunny ''Dr. Kildare'' of film, radio, and television fame.
* Cap'n Eddie Ricketyback: Decrepit World War I aviator and proprietor/sole operator of the even more decrepit Dogpatch Airlines. Cap'n Eddie's name was a spoof of decorated World War I flying ace, Eddie Rickenbacker, part of whose tubing needed to pass ''through'' the player's head.
* Weakeyes Yokum: Before Mister Magoo there was Dogpatch's own Cousin Weakeyes, who would tragically mistake grizzly bears for romantically inclined "rich gals" in fur coats, and end a sequence by characteristically walking off a cliff.
* Young Eddie McSkonk and U.S. Mule: Ancient, creaky, white-bearded Dogpatch postmaster and his hoary jackass mount. They were usually too feeble to handle the sacks of timeworn, cobweb-covered letters marked "Rush" at the Dogpatch Express Post Office.
* J. Colossal McGenius: The brilliant marketing consultant and "idea man" who charged $10,000 per word for his sought-after business advice. McGenius was given to telling long-winded jokes with forgotten punch lines, as well as spells of hiccups and belches (borne of a regrettable fondness for gassy soft drinks like " Burpsi-Booma" and " Eleven Urp") which, at the aforementioned fee, usually bankrupted his unfortunate clients. He was aided by his lovely and meticulously efficient secretary, Miss Pennypacker.
* Silent Yokum: Prudent Cousin Silent never utters a word unless it's absolutely, ''vitally'' important. Consequently, he hadn't spoken in 40 years. The arrival of Silent's grim visage in Dogpatch signaled earthshaking news on the horizon. Capp would milk readers' suspense by having Silent "warm up" his rusty, creaking jaw muscles for a few days, before the momentous pronouncement.
* Happy Vermin: The "world's smartest cartoonist" — a caricature of Ham Fisher — who hired Li'l Abner to draw his comic strip for him in a dimly-lit closet. Instead of using Vermin's tired characters, Abner had inventively peopled the strip with hillbillies. A bighearted Vermin told his slaving assistant: "I'm proud of having created these characters!! They'll make millions for me!! And if they do — I'll get ''you'' a new light bulb!!"
* Big Stanislouse; aka Big Julius: Stanislouse was a brutal gangster with a childish fondness for kiddie TV superheroes (like "Chickensouperman" and "Milton the Masked Martian"). Part of a virtual goon squad of comic mobsters that inhabited ''Li'l Abner'' and ''Fearless Fosdick'', the oafish Stanislouse alternated with other all-purpose underworld thugs, including "the Boys from the Syndicate" — Capp's euphemism for The Mob.
* The Square-Eyes Family: Mammy's revelatory encounter with these unpopular Dogpatch outcasts first appeared in 1956 as a thinly-veiled appeal for racial tolerance. It was later issued as an educational comic book — called ''Mammy Yokum and the Great Dogpatch Mystery!'' — by the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai B'rith.
* Appassionata Von Climax: One of a series of predatory, sexually aggressive sirens who pursued Li'l Abner prior to his marriage, and even afterward, much to the consternation of Daisy Mae. Joining a long list of dishy '' femmes fatales'' and spoiled debutantes that included Gloria Van Welbilt, Moonlight Sonata, Mimi Van Pett and "The Tigress"; Appassionata was memorably portrayed by both Tina Louise (onstage) and Stella Stevens (on film). Capp always wondered how he ever got her suggestive name past the censors.
* Tenderleif Ericson: Discovered frozen in the mud where her Viking ship sank in 1047, Tenderleif was Leif Ericson's beautiful, teenaged kid sister (complete with breastplate armor, Viking helmet and burlesque Norwegian accent). As soon as she saw Li'l Abner, however, she started warming up and breathing hard. "She's seventeen y'ars old", explains Mammy, "and she hain't had a date fo' nine hunnerd y'ars!"
* Princess Minihahaskirt: Decades before Disney's ''Pocahontas'', the sexiest cartoon Indian princesses could be found in ''Li'l Abner''. The most notable in a series of native maidens who enticed the normally stoic Lonesome Polecat, the list also included Minnie Mustache, Raving Dove, Little Turkey Wing and Princess Two Feathers.
* Liddle Noodnik: A typically miserable resident of perpetually frozen Lower Slobbovia, naked local waif Liddle Noodnik was usually employed to recite a farcical poem of greeting to visiting dignitaries, or sing the absurd Slobbovian national anthem (see "setting and fictitious locales"). Like many terms in ''Li'l Abner'', Noodnik's name was derived from Yiddish. '' Nudnik'' is a slang term for a bothersome person or pest.
* Pantless Perkins: A very late addition to the strip, Capp introduced Honest Abe's brainy, ragamuffin pal Pantless Perkins in a series of kid-themed stories in the seventies, probably to compete with ''Peanuts''. Pantless didn't own a single pair of trousers. He wore an over-length turtleneck sweater to hide the fact — much to his embarrassment. In one storyline, the nearest he ever got to a pair of pants was when he helps Honest Abe find a long-lost love of a millionaire in return for a pair of pants. Unfortunately, the prospective groom drops dead after tasting the terrible cooking of his bride-to-be, and Pantless remains so.
* Rotten Ralphie: The kiddie version of Earthquake McGoon, Ralphie lived up to his name as the Dogpatch neighborhood bully. Exceedingly large for his age, Ralphie always wore a cowboy outfit that was several sizes too small. In one storyline, after Ralphie beats up every boy in Dogpatch at the same time, he himself is beaten up when Pantless Perkins and Honest Abe trick Ralphie into getting into a fight with the Scragg boys of Skonk Hollow.
* Marcia Perkins: Innocent, outwardly normal teenager whose lips give off 451 °F of electromagnetic heat, frying the brain of any boy who kisses her. Declared a walking health hazard, Marcia wears a public warning sign ("Do Not Kiss This Girl, by Order of the Dept. of Health, Education and Welfare"). Her notoriety precedes her everywhere except Dogpatch, where she meets and falls for Tiny Yokum.
* Bet-a-Million Bashby: Bashby amassed his colossal fortune by following one simple rule: Always bet on a sure thing, and always bet with a fool. He hadn't reckoned on fool's luck, however. All through the years Bashby bet on sure things, and all through the years Abner won.
* The Widder Fruitful: Another iconic Dogpatch "regular", often glimpsed in passing or featured in crowd scenes. The ample, fertile widow invariably held three or four naked newborns under each arm, always carried backside forward, with a healthy brood of earlier offspring following in her wake.
* Loverboynik: In 1954, Capp sent a letter to Liberace addressing his intention to spoof him in ''Li'l Abner'' as "Liverachy". Liberace had his lawyers threaten to sue. Capp went ahead anyway, with a significant name change. Billed as the "Sweetheart of the Piano", Loverboynik is a blonde "dimpled darling" pianist and TV heartthrob. According to Capp, Liberace was "cut to the quick" when the parody appeared. Capp insisted that Loverboynik was ''not'' Liberace because Loverboynik "could play the piano rather decently and rarely wore black lace underwear."
* Rock Hustler: Unscrupulous publicity agent-turned-marketing mogul. He masterminds an ad campaign promoting the miracle diet food "Mockaroni", carefully neglecting to disclose that it's both addictive and lethal. "The more you crave, the more you eat. The more you eat, the thinner you get — until you ''(shudder!)'' float away..."
* Dumpington Van Lump: The bloated, almost catatonic heir to the Van Lump fortune, Dumpington can only utter one syllable ("Urp!") until he sets sight on Daisy Mae. A somewhat subhuman fiend, his favorite book is the disturbingly-titled ''How to Make Lampshades Out of Your Friends''. Capp chose the Dumpington sequence to illustrate his lesson on continuity storytelling in the ''Famous Artists Cartoon Course''.
* Sam the Centaur: A "mythical critter" with a classic, chiseled profile and Apollo-like blonde mane, Sam is a Greek centaur who occasionally roams the mountains of Dogpatch instead of the mountains of Thessaly. Available Jones, "th' most book-educated varmint in Dogpatch", pronounces: "He ''hain't'' real!"
* Jubilation T. Cornpone: Dogpatch's founder and most famous son, memorialized by a town statue, is Confederate General Jubilation T. Cornpone — renowned for "Cornpone's Retreat", "Cornpone's Disaster", "Cornpone's Stupidity", "Cornpone's Misjudgment", "Cornpone's Hoomiliation" and "Cornpone's Final Mistake". Cornpone was such a disastrously incompetent military leader that he came to be considered an important asset of the opposing side. According to the stage play, the statue was commissioned by a grateful Abraham Lincoln. Cornpone's only victories were posthumous — in one storyline, the General's statue is filled with Kickapoo Joy juice, which brings it to "life." It then goes on a rampage, beheading all the statues of Union Army generals. As the U.S. Army can't destroy it, since it's a National Monument, Kickapoo Joy Juice is poured into a Union statue which results in both statues charging one another. When the smoke clears, the animated statues have annihilated each other. At Mammy Yokum's urging the statue pieces are put back together with glue. The hapless general is really best known for being the namesake of the rousing musical number (a "showstopper") in the popular ''Li'l Abner'' musical, as sung by Marryin' Sam and chorus.
* Jubilation T. Cornpone Jr: son of General Cornpone. A former "commander" army mules, he became Commander of all U.N. Forces against Invaders from Outer Space, despite being described as the most incompetent general of all time. It later emerged he was given the job because no other General would take it. Cornpone fell in love with big-eyed "Princess Pocahauntingeyes" and lived with her in the land above the Dogpatch via the "Trashbean stalk", although he is later henpecked into submission.
* Romeo McHaystack: A would-be Don Juan of Pineapple Junction, whose attempts at romancing women are frustrated because the Civic Improvement League tattooed a warning about him on his forehead. Discouraged, he suddenly decides to romance Dogpatch women when he discovers that atomic waste is suspended above the town, casting it permanently in darkness.
* Sadie Hawkins: In the early days of Dogpatch, Sadie Hawkins was "the homeliest gal in them hills" who grew frantic waiting for suitors to come for her. Her father Hekzebiah Hawkins, a prominent Dogpatch resident, grew even more frantic about Sadie living at home for the rest of his life, and decreed the first annual Sadie Hawkins Day, a foot race in which all the unmarried women pursued the town's bachelors with matrimony as the consequence. A pseudo-holiday entirely created in the strip, it's still frequently observed today in the form of Sadie Hawkins dances, to which it is customary for women to ask men and at which women approach (or chase after) men.
* Lena the Hyena: A hideous Lower Slobbovian gal, referred to but initially unseen or only glimpsed from the neck down in ''Li'l Abner.'' Lena was so ugly that anyone who saw her was immediately driven insane. After weeks of teasing his readers by hiding Lena's face behind "censored" stickers and strategically placed dialogue balloons, Capp invited fans to draw Lena in a famous nationwide contest in 1946. Lena was ultimately revealed in the harrowing winning entry (as judged by Frank Sinatra, Boris Karloff and Salvador Dalí) drawn by noted cartoonist Basil Wolverton

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