Karola Ruth Westheimer (née Siegel; June 4, 1928 – July 12, 2024), better known as Dr. Ruth, was a German and American
sex therapist and talk show host.
Westheimer was born in Germany to a Jewish family. As the
Nazi
Nazism (), formally named National Socialism (NS; , ), is the far-right politics, far-right Totalitarianism, totalitarian socio-political ideology and practices associated with Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party (NSDAP) in Germany. During H ...
s came to power, her parents sent the 10-year-old girl to a school in Switzerland for safety while they remained behind because of her elderly grandmother.
Both were killed in
concentration camps
A concentration camp is a prison or other facility used for the internment of political prisoners or politically targeted demographics, such as members of national or ethnic minority groups, on the grounds of national security, or for exploit ...
. After World War II, she emigrated to British-controlled
Mandatory Palestine
Mandatory Palestine was a British Empire, British geopolitical entity that existed between 1920 and 1948 in the Palestine (region), region of Palestine, and after 1922, under the terms of the League of Nations's Mandate for Palestine.
After ...
. At tall and 17 years of age, she joined the
Haganah
Haganah ( , ) was the main Zionist political violence, Zionist paramilitary organization that operated for the Yishuv in the Mandatory Palestine, British Mandate for Palestine. It was founded in 1920 to defend the Yishuv's presence in the reg ...
, and was trained as a
sniper
A sniper is a military or paramilitary marksman who engages targets from positions of concealment or at distances exceeding the target's detection capabilities. Snipers generally have specialized training and are equipped with telescopic si ...
.
On her 20th birthday, she was wounded in action by an exploding shell during
mortar fire on Jerusalem during the
1947–1949 Palestine War
The 1948 Palestine war was fought in the territory of what had been, at the start of the war, British-ruled Mandatory Palestine. During the war, the British withdrew from Palestine, Zionism, Zionist forces conquered territory and established ...
, and almost lost both feet.
Two years later, Westheimer moved to Paris, France, where she studied psychology at the
Sorbonne. Immigrating to the United States in 1956, she worked as a maid to put herself through graduate school, earned a
Master of Arts
A Master of Arts ( or ''Artium Magister''; abbreviated MA or AM) is the holder of a master's degree awarded by universities in many countries. The degree is usually contrasted with that of Master of Science. Those admitted to the degree have ...
in sociology from
The New School
The New School is a Private university, private research university in New York City. It was founded in 1919 as The New School for Social Research with an original mission dedicated to academic freedom and intellectual inquiry and a home for p ...
in 1959, and earned a doctorate at age 42 from
Teachers College, Columbia University
Teachers College, Columbia University (TC) is the graduate school of education affiliated with Columbia University, a private research university in New York City. Founded in 1887, Teachers College has been a part of Columbia University since ...
, in 1970. Over the next decade, she taught at a number of universities and had a private sex therapy practice.
Westheimer's media career began in 1980 with the radio call-in show ''Sexually Speaking'', which continued until 1990. In 1983 it was the top-rated radio show in the country's largest radio market. She then launched a television show, ''The Dr. Ruth Show'', which by 1985 attracted two million viewers a week. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid, but also warm, cheerful, funny, and respectful, and for her tag phrase: "Get some". In 1984 ''
The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' noted that she had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom."
She hosted several series on the
Lifetime Channel and other cable television networks from 1984 to 1993. She became a household name and major cultural figure, appeared on several network TV shows, co-starred in a movie with
Gérard Depardieu
Gérard Xavier Marcel Depardieu (, , ; born 27 December 1948) is a French actor. An icon of French cinema, considered a world star in the same way as Alain Delon or Brigitte Bardot, he has completed over 250 films since 1967, most of which as ...
, appeared on the cover of ''
People
The term "the people" refers to the public or Common people, common mass of people of a polity. As such it is a concept of human rights law, international law as well as constitutional law, particularly used for claims of popular sovereignty. I ...
'', sang on a
Tom Chapin
Tom Chapin (born March 13, 1945) is an American musician, entertainer, singer-songwriter, and storyteller.
Chapin is known for the song " Happy Birthday", released in 1989 in his ''Moonboat'' album. It takes its melody from "Love Unspoken", a so ...
album, appeared in several commercials, and hosted ''Playboy'' videos. She was the author of 45 books on sex and sexuality.
The one-woman 2013 play ''Becoming Dr. Ruth'', written by
Mark St. Germain, is about Westheimer's life, as is the 2019 documentary, ''
Ask Dr. Ruth'', directed by
Ryan White
Ryan Wayne White (December 6, 1971 – April 8, 1990) was an American teenager from Kokomo, Indiana, who became a national poster child for HIV/AIDS in the United States after his school barred him from attending classes following a diagn ...
. She was inducted into the
Radio Hall of Fame
The Radio Hall of Fame, formerly the National Radio Hall of Fame, is an American organization created by the Emerson Radio Corporation in 1988.
Three years later, Bruce DuMont, founder, president, and CEO of the Museum of Broadcast Communication ...
, and awarded the
Magnus Hirschfeld Medal, the
Ellis Island Medal of Honor
The Ellis Island Medal of Honor is an American award founded by the Ellis Island Honors Society (EIHS) (formerly known as the National Ethnic Coalition of Organizations (NECO)), which is presented annually to American citizens, both native-born ...
, the
Leo Baeck Medal, the Planned Parenthood
Margaret Sanger Award, and the
Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany
The Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany (, or , BVO) is the highest state decoration, federal decoration of the Federal Republic of Germany. It may be awarded for any field of endeavor. It was created by the first List of president ...
.
Early life and education
Germany
Westheimer was born Karola Ruth Siegel, on June 4, 1928, in the small village of Wiesenfeld (now part of
Karlstadt am Main), in
Germany
Germany, officially the Federal Republic of Germany, is a country in Central Europe. It lies between the Baltic Sea and the North Sea to the north and the Alps to the south. Its sixteen States of Germany, constituent states have a total popu ...
.
She was the only child of
Orthodox Jews
Orthodox Judaism is a collective term for the traditionalist branches of contemporary Judaism. Theologically, it is chiefly defined by regarding the Torah, both Written and Oral, as literally revealed by God on Mount Sinai and faithfully tr ...
, Irma (née Hanauer), a housekeeper, and Julius Siegel, a
notions wholesaler and son of the family for whom Irma worked. From the age of one, she lived in an apartment in
Frankfurt
Frankfurt am Main () is the most populous city in the States of Germany, German state of Hesse. Its 773,068 inhabitants as of 2022 make it the List of cities in Germany by population, fifth-most populous city in Germany. Located in the forela ...
with her parents and her paternal grandmother, Selma, who was a widow.
["Preserving Family Stories: Ruth: A Little Girl's Big Journey"](_blank)
, USC Shoah Foundation, I Witness, 2021. She was given an early grounding in Judaism by her father, who took her regularly to the synagogue in the
Nordend
Nordend (meaning ''north end'' in German) is a northern peak of the Monte Rosa Massif. Nordend is the fourth highest peak of the massif, after the Dufourspitze (4,634 m), the Dunantspitze (4,632 m) and the Grenzgipfel (4,618 m).
See also
*L ...
district of Frankfurt, where they lived.
Her father, 38 years old at the time, was taken away by the
Nazi
Nazism (), formally named National Socialism (NS; , ), is the far-right politics, far-right Totalitarianism, totalitarian socio-political ideology and practices associated with Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party (NSDAP) in Germany. During H ...
s, who sent him to the
Dachau concentration camp
Dachau (, ; , ; ) was one of the first concentration camps built by Nazi Germany and the longest-running one, opening on 22 March 1933. The camp was initially intended to intern Hitler's political opponents, which consisted of communists, s ...
a week after ''
Kristallnacht
( ) or the Night of Broken Glass, also called the November pogrom(s) (, ), was a pogrom against Jews carried out by the Nazi Party's (SA) and (SS) paramilitary forces along with some participation from the Hitler Youth and German civilia ...
'', the "Night of Broken Glass", when Nazis burned down 10,000 Jewish stores as well as Jewish homes and synagogues, in November 1938.
She cried while her father was taken away by
Gestapo
The (, ), Syllabic abbreviation, abbreviated Gestapo (), was the official secret police of Nazi Germany and in German-occupied Europe.
The force was created by Hermann Göring in 1933 by combining the various political police agencies of F ...
men who loaded him on a truck, while her grandmother handed the Nazis money, pleading, "Take good care of my son."
Switzerland
Westheimer's mother and grandmother decided that
Nazi Germany
Nazi Germany, officially known as the German Reich and later the Greater German Reich, was the German Reich, German state between 1933 and 1945, when Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party controlled the country, transforming it into a Totalit ...
was too dangerous for her, due to the growing Nazi violence. Therefore, a few weeks later, in January 1939, they sent her on the ''
Kindertransport
The ''Kindertransport'' (German for "children's transport") was an organised rescue effort of children from Nazi
Nazism (), formally named National Socialism (NS; , ), is the far-right politics, far-right Totalitarianism, total ...
'', an organized Jewish children's rescue train to Switzerland, though she desperately did not want to leave.
Ruth, then aged 10, was never hugged again as a child.
She arrived at an orphanage of a Jewish charity in
Heiden, Switzerland, as one of 300 Jewish children, some as young as six years of age.
By the end of World War II, nearly all of them were orphans, as their parents never made it out of Germany and were murdered by the Nazis.
In the orphanage she was given cleaning responsibilities and took on the role of a caregiver and mother-like figure to the younger children.
She remained at the orphanage for six years.
Girls at the orphanage were not allowed to take classes at the local school. However, a boy at the school secretly loaned her his textbooks at night so she could read them in secret and continue her education.
While at the Swiss orphanage, Westheimer corresponded with her mother and grandmother via letters. Their letters ceased in 1941,
when her parents and her paternal grandmother were deported to
Łódź Ghetto
The Łódź Ghetto or Litzmannstadt Ghetto (after the Nazi German name for Łódź) was a Nazi ghetto established by the German authorities for Polish Jews and Roma following the Invasion of Poland. It was the second-largest ghetto in all of ...
on 20 October 1941. There, her father and his mother died in 1942. Before learning about this later in her life, she had believed that her father was murdered in the
Auschwitz concentration camp
Auschwitz, or Oświęcim, was a complex of over 40 Nazi concentration camps, concentration and extermination camps operated by Nazi Germany in Polish areas annexed by Nazi Germany, occupied Poland (in a portion annexed into Germany in 1939) d ...
in 1942.
There is no information about the specific circumstances of her mother's death. In the database at the
Yad Vashem
Yad Vashem (; ) is Israel's official memorial institution to the victims of Holocaust, the Holocaust known in Hebrew language, Hebrew as the (). It is dedicated to preserving the memory of the Jews who were murdered; echoing the stories of the ...
World Holocaust Remembrance Center, Westheimer's mother is categorized as ''verschollen'', or "disappeared/murdered".
In addition to Westheimer's parents, all of her other relatives lost their lives during the
Holocaust
The Holocaust (), known in Hebrew language, Hebrew as the (), was the genocide of History of the Jews in Europe, European Jews during World War II. From 1941 to 1945, Nazi Germany and Collaboration with Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy ...
.
For many years, she lived with an "irrational guilt"; she thought that if she had stayed in Germany, she could have saved her parents. Later, she said the guilt had been replaced by an admiration for her parents' sacrifice in sending her to safety, saying: "I would not have the courage to send my own children away like that."
Israel
After World War II ended, Westheimer decided to immigrate to British-controlled
Mandatory Palestine
Mandatory Palestine was a British Empire, British geopolitical entity that existed between 1920 and 1948 in the Palestine (region), region of Palestine, and after 1922, under the terms of the League of Nations's Mandate for Palestine.
After ...
at 16 years of age.
After she immigrated to Mandatory Palestine in September 1945, at the age of 17, she joined
Kibbutz Ramat David and worked in agriculture. Told her name was too German, she changed her name from Karola to her middle name, Ruth and went by Ruth K. Siegel, retaining Karola as her middle initial in case her parents came looking for her.
She "first had sexual intercourse on a starry night, in a haystack, without contraception."
She later told ''
The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' that "I am not happy about that, but I know much better now and so does everyone who listens to my radio program."
Next, she lived on
Moshav Nahalal, and then, she lived on
Kibbutz Yagur.
She then moved to
Jerusalem
Jerusalem is a city in the Southern Levant, on a plateau in the Judaean Mountains between the Mediterranean Sea, Mediterranean and the Dead Sea. It is one of the List of oldest continuously inhabited cities, oldest cities in the world, and ...
in 1948 to study early childhood education.
Westheimer joined the
Haganah
Haganah ( , ) was the main Zionist political violence, Zionist paramilitary organization that operated for the Yishuv in the Mandatory Palestine, British Mandate for Palestine. It was founded in 1920 to defend the Yishuv's presence in the reg ...
Jewish
Zionist
Zionism is an Ethnic nationalism, ethnocultural nationalist movement that emerged in History of Europe#From revolution to imperialism (1789–1914), Europe in the late 19th century that aimed to establish and maintain a national home for the ...
underground paramilitary organization (later, the
Israel Defense Forces
The Israel Defense Forces (IDF; , ), alternatively referred to by the Hebrew-language acronym (), is the national military of the State of Israel. It consists of three service branches: the Israeli Ground Forces, the Israeli Air Force, and ...
) in Jerusalem.
Because of her diminutive height of , she was trained as a
scout
Scout may refer to:
Youth movement
*Scout (Scouting), a child, usually 10–18 years of age, participating in the worldwide Scouting movement
** Scouts (The Scout Association), section for 10-14 year olds in the United Kingdom
** Scouts BSA, sect ...
and
sniper
A sniper is a military or paramilitary marksman who engages targets from positions of concealment or at distances exceeding the target's detection capabilities. Snipers generally have specialized training and are equipped with telescopic si ...
.
Of this experience, she said, "I never killed anybody, but I know how to throw
hand grenades
A grenade is a small explosive weapon typically thrown by hand (also called hand grenade), but can also refer to a shell (explosive projectile) shot from the muzzle of a rifle (as a rifle grenade) or a grenade launcher. A modern hand grenade g ...
and shoot."
She became an ace sniper, and learned to assemble a rifle in the dark.
When she was 90 years old, she demonstrated that she was still able to put together a
Sten gun
The STEN (or Sten gun) is a British submachine gun chambered in 9×19mm which was used extensively by British and Commonwealth forces throughout World War II and during the Korean War. The Sten paired a simple design with a low production co ...
with her eyes closed.
In 1948, on her 20th birthday, Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding
shell
Shell may refer to:
Architecture and design
* Shell (structure), a thin structure
** Concrete shell, a thin shell of concrete, usually with no interior columns or exterior buttresses
Science Biology
* Seashell, a hard outer layer of a marine ani ...
during a
mortar fire
A mortar today is usually a simple, lightweight, man-portable, muzzle-loaded cannon, consisting of a smooth-bore (although some models use a rifled barrel) metal tube fixed to a base plate (to spread out the recoil) with a lightweight bipod m ...
attack on Jerusalem during the
1948 Palestine war
The 1948 Palestine war was fought in the territory of what had been, at the start of the war, British-ruled Mandatory Palestine. During the war, the British withdrew from Palestine, Zionist forces conquered territory and established the Stat ...
; the explosion killed two girls who were right next to her.
Temporarily paralyzed and with two injured feet (one missing a top portion), she spent months in a recuperative ward before walking again.
In 2018 she said that she still visited Israel every year, and felt that it was her real home, and the following year said that she was and is a Zionist.
France
In 1950, at the age of 22, Westheimer married and moved to France with her first husband, David Bar-Haim, an Israeli soldier who had been accepted to medical school in Paris.
There, she studied psychology under psychologist
Jean Piaget
Jean William Fritz Piaget (, ; ; 9 August 1896 – 16 September 1980) was a Swiss psychologist known for his work on child development. Piaget's theory of cognitive development and epistemological view are together called genetic epistemology.
...
at the
University of Paris
The University of Paris (), known Metonymy, metonymically as the Sorbonne (), was the leading university in Paris, France, from 1150 to 1970, except for 1793–1806 during the French Revolution. Emerging around 1150 as a corporation associated wit ...
(the Sorbonne), and earned an undergraduate degree despite not having had a high school education
and supported herself by teaching
kindergarten
Kindergarten is a preschool educational approach based on playing, singing, practical activities such as drawing, and social interaction as part of the transition from home to school. Such institutions were originally made in the late 18th cen ...
.
She then taught psychology at the Sorbonne.
Her first marriage ended as Bar-Heim eventually gave up his studies and decided to return to Israel while Westheimer remained in Paris to continue her studies. They divorced in 1955.
United States
In 1956, using a 5,000
German mark
The Deutsche Mark (; "German mark"), abbreviated "DM" or "D-Mark" (), was the official currency of West Germany from 1948 until 1990 and later of unified Germany from 1990 until the adoption of the euro in 2002. In English, it was typically c ...
s
restitution
Restitution and unjust enrichment is the field of law relating to gains-based recovery. In contrast with damages (the law of compensation), restitution is a claim or remedy requiring a defendant to give up benefits wrongfully obtained. Liability ...
cheque paid by the German government to children whose education was disrupted by the Holocaust, she
immigrated to the United States with her French boyfriend, Dan Bommer, settling in
Washington Heights, Manhattan
Washington Heights is a neighborhood in the northern part of the Borough (New York City), borough of Manhattan in New York City. It is named for Fort Washington (Manhattan), Fort Washington, a fortification constructed at the Bennett Park (Ne ...
. They married and had a daughter, Miriam, but soon divorced.
[America's Significant Other: Dr. Ruth (1991)]
''OpenMind'' 1991. She worked as a maid, initially for 75 cents an hour and later for one dollar an hour (equal to $ today) to put herself through graduate school.
Westheimer earned an
M.A. degree in sociology from
The New School
The New School is a Private university, private research university in New York City. It was founded in 1919 as The New School for Social Research with an original mission dedicated to academic freedom and intellectual inquiry and a home for p ...
in 1959, with the help of a scholarship.
She was a single mother, and an organization named
Jewish Family Service paid for her then-three-year-old daughter to stay with a
foster family during the day and go to a German Jewish Orthodox nursery school while Westheimer worked and went to classes at The New School. In 1970, at 42 years old, she received a
Doctor of Education
Doctor, Doctors, The Doctor or The Doctors may refer to:
Titles and occupations
* Physician, a medical practitioner
* Doctor (title), an academic title for the holder of a doctoral-level degree
** Doctorate
** List of doctoral degrees awarded ...
(Ed.D.) degree in Family-Life Studies from
Teachers College, Columbia University
Teachers College, Columbia University (TC) is the graduate school of education affiliated with Columbia University, a private research university in New York City. Founded in 1887, Teachers College has been a part of Columbia University since ...
with the help of a scholarship, studying under
Shirley Zussman.
She then trained as a sex therapist at the
New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center
The NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital (abbreviated as NYP) is a nonprofit academic medical center in New York City. It is the primary teaching hospital for Weill Cornell Medicine and Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. The hospit ...
/
Cornell Medical School
Weill Cornell Medicine (; officially Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College of Cornell University), originally Cornell University Medical College, is the medical school of Cornell University, located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in Ne ...
, working for seven years under sex therapist
Helen Singer Kaplan, two years training under her and five years training others.
In 1965, Westheimer became a
naturalized U.S. citizen.
In 1961, she married for the third time
She regained her
German citizenship
German nationality law details the conditions by which an individual is a national of Germany. The primary law governing these requirements is the Nationality Act, which came into force on 1 January 1914. Germany is a member state of the Euro ...
in 2007 through the
German Citizenship Project
The German Citizenship Project was set up in the United States in 2006, and encourages descendants of Germans deprived of their citizenship by Nazi Germany to reclaim German citizenship without losing the citizenship of their home country. It cl ...
that enabled descendants of Germans deprived of their citizenship during
Nazi rule to reclaim their citizenship without losing the citizenship of their home country.
Early career
After receiving her doctorate, Westheimer briefly worked for
Planned Parenthood
The Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc. (PPFA), or simply Planned Parenthood, is an American nonprofit organization in
Harlem
Harlem is a neighborhood in Upper Manhattan, New York City. It is bounded roughly by the Hudson River on the west; the Harlem River and 155th Street on the north; Fifth Avenue on the east; and Central Park North on the south. The greater ...
training women to teach
sex education
Sex education, also known as sexual education, sexuality education or sex ed, is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including human sexual anatomy, Human sexual activity, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, safe sex, birth ...
, and this experience encouraged her to continue studying
human sexuality
Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, psychological, physical, erotic, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. Because it is a broad term, which has varied ...
.
She went on to work as a
postdoctoral researcher
A postdoctoral fellow, postdoctoral researcher, or simply postdoc, is a person professionally conducting research after the completion of their doctoral studies (typically a PhD). Postdocs most commonly, but not always, have a temporary acade ...
at
New York-Presbyterian Hospital
The NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital (abbreviated as NYP) is a nonprofit academic medical center in New York City. It is the primary teaching hospital for Weill Cornell Medicine and Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. The hospit ...
.
She continued to work there as an adjunct associate professor for five years. She also taught at
Lehman College
Lehman College is a public college in New York City, United States. Founded in 1931 as the Bronx campus of Hunter College, it became an independent college in 1967. The college is named after Herbert H. Lehman, a former New York governor, United ...
,
Brooklyn College
Brooklyn College is a public university in Brooklyn in New York City, United States. It is part of the City University of New York system and enrolls nearly 14,000 students on a campus in the Midwood and Flatbush sections of Brooklyn as of fall ...
,
Hunter College
Hunter College is a public university in New York City, United States. It is one of the constituent colleges of the City University of New York and offers studies in more than one hundred undergraduate and postgraduate fields across five schools ...
,
Adelphi University
Adelphi University is a private university in Garden City, New York, United States. Adelphi also has centers in Downtown Brooklyn, Hudson Valley, and Suffolk County in addition to a virtual, online campus for remote students. As of 2019, it had ...
,
Columbia University
Columbia University in the City of New York, commonly referred to as Columbia University, is a Private university, private Ivy League research university in New York City. Established in 1754 as King's College on the grounds of Trinity Churc ...
,
Yale University
Yale University is a Private university, private Ivy League research university in New Haven, Connecticut, United States. Founded in 1701, Yale is the List of Colonial Colleges, third-oldest institution of higher education in the United Stat ...
,
Princeton University
Princeton University is a private university, private Ivy League research university in Princeton, New Jersey, United States. Founded in 1746 in Elizabeth, New Jersey, Elizabeth as the College of New Jersey, Princeton is the List of Colonial ...
,
New York University
New York University (NYU) is a private university, private research university in New York City, New York, United States. Chartered in 1831 by the New York State Legislature, NYU was founded in 1832 by Albert Gallatin as a Nondenominational ...
,
New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center
The NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital (abbreviated as NYP) is a nonprofit academic medical center in New York City. It is the primary teaching hospital for Weill Cornell Medicine and Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. The hospit ...
/
Weill Cornell Medicine
Weill Cornell Medicine (; officially Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College of Cornell University), originally Cornell University Medical College, is the medical school of Cornell University, located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in Ne ...
, and
West Point
The United States Military Academy (USMA), commonly known as West Point, is a United States service academies, United States service academy in West Point, New York that educates cadets for service as Officer_(armed_forces)#United_States, comm ...
.
["Dr. Ruth Westheimer,"](_blank)
WQXR. She treated
sex therapy
Sex therapy is a therapeutic strategy for the improvement of sexual function and treatment of sexual dysfunction. This includes dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lack of sexual interest or ...
patients in a private practice, on East 73rd Street on the
Upper East Side
The Upper East Side, sometimes abbreviated UES, is a neighborhood in the boroughs of New York City, borough of Manhattan in New York City. It is bounded approximately by 96th Street (Manhattan), 96th Street to the north, the East River to the e ...
of Manhattan.
Media career
Described as "Grandma
Freud
Sigmund Freud ( ; ; born Sigismund Schlomo Freud; 6 May 1856 – 23 September 1939) was an Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, a clinical method for evaluating and treating pathologies seen as originating from conflicts in t ...
" and the "
Sister Wendy of Sexuality", Westheimer helped revolutionize talk about sex and sexuality on radio and television, advocating for speaking openly about sexual issues.
She fielded questions ranging from women who did not have
orgasm
Orgasm (from Greek , ; "excitement, swelling"), sexual climax, or simply climax, is the sudden release of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, characterized by intense sexual pleasure resulting in rhythmic, involu ...
s, to the best time of day to have sex (the morning), to men with
premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a male sexual dysfunction that occurs when a male Ejaculation, expels semen (and most likely experiences orgasm) soon after beginning sexual activity, and with minimal penile stimulation. It has also been called ''e ...
s, to
foreplay
Foreplay is a set of emotionally and physically intimate acts between one or more people meant to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity. Although foreplay is typically understood as physical sexual activity, nonphysical activiti ...
, to
oral sex
Oral sex, sometimes referred to as oral intercourse, is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the mouth (including the lips, tongue, or teeth). Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on the vu ...
, to
sexual fantasies
A sexual fantasy, or erotic fantasy, is an Autoeroticism, autoerotic mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person's Human sexuality, sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. A sexual Fantasy (psychology), fantasy can be crea ...
("embrace them"; "If you want to believe that a whole football team is in bed with you, that's fine"), to
masturbation
Masturbation is a form of autoeroticism in which a person Sexual stimulation, sexually stimulates their own Sex organ, genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. Stimulation may involve the use of han ...
, to
erection
An erection (clinically: penile erection or penile tumescence) is a Physiology, physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firm, engorged, and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, ...
s, to
sexual positions, to the
G-spot
The G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (for German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is characterized as an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and potential female eja ...
.
["Dr. Ruth, TV's Pixie of Passion,"](_blank)
''The Washington Post''. She stressed that: "anything that two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom or kitchen floor is all right with me".
Asked a question as to having sex with an animal, she responded: "I'm not a veterinarian." She spoke out against engaging in any sexual activity under pressure. She was against the use of drugs, and said she cannot deal with
sadomasochism
Sadism () and masochism (), known collectively as sadomasochism ( ) or S&M, is the derivation of pleasure from acts of respectively inflicting or receiving pain or humiliation. The term is named after the Marquis de Sade, a French author known ...
and
pedophilia
Pedophilia ( alternatively spelled paedophilia) is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Although girls typically begin the process of pube ...
.
She educated her listeners about
sexually transmitted disease
A sexually transmitted infection (STI), also referred to as a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and the older term venereal disease (VD), is an infection that is spread by sexual activity, especially vaginal intercourse, anal sex, or ...
s,
and spoke out strongly in favor of having sex, in favor of
contraception
Birth control, also known as contraception, anticonception, and fertility control, is the use of methods or devices to prevent pregnancy. Birth control has been used since ancient times, but effective and safe methods of birth control only be ...
being used, in favor of the availability of abortion as an aid for contraception failures, in favor of sex within relationships rather than
one-night stand
A one-night stand is a single sexual encounter in which there is no expectation that there shall be any further relations between the sexual participants. It draws its name from the common practice of a one-night stand, a single night performanc ...
s, in favor of funding for Planned Parenthood, and in favor of research on
AIDS
The HIV, human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is a retrovirus that attacks the immune system. Without treatment, it can lead to a spectrum of conditions including acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). It is a Preventive healthcare, pr ...
. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid and funny, but warm, cheerful, and respectful; and for her tag phrase: "Get some."
Journalist
Joyce Wadler described her as a "world class charmer".
One journalist described her voice as "a cross between
Henry Kissinger
Henry Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) was an American diplomat and political scientist who served as the 56th United States secretary of state from 1973 to 1977 and the 7th National Security Advisor (United States), natio ...
and
Minnie Mouse
Minerva "Minnie" Mouse is an American cartoon character created by the Walt Disney Company. The longtime sweetheart of Mickey Mouse, she is an anthropomorphic mouse with white gloves, a red or pink bow, blue (or pink or red) polka-dotted dress, w ...
".
She was noted for having "an accent only a psychologist could love", one that was "dripping chicken soup."
In 1984 ''
The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' noted that on radio the 55-year-old had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom." Journalist Jeannette Catsoulis wrote later in ''The New York Times'', "It's hard to explain how revolutionary her humor, candor and sexual explicitness seemed for the time."
1980–1989
Westheimer's media career began in 1980 when she was 52 years old, and her radio show, ''Sexually Speaking'', debuted on
WYNY-FM in New York City. In it, she answered questions called in by listeners, and the show became nationally syndicated.
She was offered the opportunity after she gave a lecture to New York broadcasters about the need for
sex education
Sex education, also known as sexual education, sexuality education or sex ed, is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including human sexual anatomy, Human sexual activity, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, safe sex, birth ...
programming to help deal with issues of
contraception
Birth control, also known as contraception, anticonception, and fertility control, is the use of methods or devices to prevent pregnancy. Birth control has been used since ancient times, but effective and safe methods of birth control only be ...
and unwanted pregnancies. Betty Elam, the community affairs manager at WYNY, was impressed with her talk and offered Westheimer $25 per week to make ''Sexually Speaking'', which started as a 15-minute show airing every Sunday at midnight, which was historically a dead time.
By 1981, as the show attracted 250,000 listeners every week despite the network not doing any promotion for it—growing simply by word of mouth—it was extended to be one hour long on Sunday nights, starting at 10 pm.
It was soon picked up by 90 stations across the United States, and it ran for a decade.
The show broke taboos of the time against speaking publicly and explicitly about sex.
''The New York Times'' described it as one of the station's "oddest shows", and among its biggest draws.
A New York University professor of human sexuality made listening to her show a class assignment.
When the station offered a "Dr. Ruth T-shirt" ("Sex on Sunday? You Bet!"), it received 3,500 orders.
By 1982, her show was WYNY's top-rated phone-in talk show. Singer
Pattie Brooks recorded a song as an ode to her, "Dr. Ruth," with a trendy, dance-rock tinged, high pressure beat.
By 1983 her show was the top-rated radio show in the country's largest radio market.
In 1984
NBC Radio
The National Broadcasting Company's NBC Radio Network (also known as the NBC Red Network from 1927 to 1942) was an American commercial radio network which was in continuous operation from 1926 through 1999. Along with the NBC Blue Network, it wa ...
began
syndicating the radio program nationwide—it was now heard in 93 markets.
She went on to produce her radio show until 1990.
In 1984, Westheimer began hosting several television programs on the
Lifetime TV network, and one in syndication. Her first show was ''Good Sex! With Dr. Ruth Westheimer'', airing for a half hour at 10 pm on weeknights. She ended each show by reminding her audience: "Have good sex!"
The show was expanded in 1985 to a full hour, and its name was changed to ''The Dr. Ruth Show''. During each of her live shows, 3,000 callers tried to get through, and the show attracted an average of 450,000 viewers a night, double the audience previously watching at that hour, and attracted more viewers than any other show on Lifetime; that number rose to two million homes a week.
In April 1985 she appeared on the cover of ''
People
The term "the people" refers to the public or Common people, common mass of people of a polity. As such it is a concept of human rights law, international law as well as constitutional law, particularly used for claims of popular sovereignty. I ...
''.
That year she also appeared as an actress in the French romantic comedy film ''
Une Femme ou Deux'' (''One Woman or Two''), starring
Gérard Depardieu
Gérard Xavier Marcel Depardieu (, , ; born 27 December 1948) is a French actor. An icon of French cinema, considered a world star in the same way as Alain Delon or Brigitte Bardot, he has completed over 250 films since 1967, most of which as ...
and
Sigourney Weaver
Susan Alexandra ( ; born October 8, 1949), better known by her stage name Sigourney Weaver, is an American actress. Prolific in film since the late 1970s, she is known for her pioneering portrayals of action heroines in Blockbuster (entertainme ...
, playing the part of a wealthy philanthropist.
''Dr. Ruth's Game of Good Sex'' was released in 1985. A Baltimore distributor said: "I'm going to have to compare this to ''
Trivial Pursuit
''Trivial Pursuit'' is a board game in which winning is determined by a player's ability to answer trivia and popular culture questions. Players move their pieces around a board, the squares they land on determining the subject of a question the ...
''. The orders overshadow anything we've had in our company's 100-year history."
''Dr. Ruth's Computer Game of Good Sex'' was a hit, released in 1986 for the
Commodore 64
The Commodore 64, also known as the C64, is an 8-bit computing, 8-bit home computer introduced in January 1982 by Commodore International (first shown at the Consumer Electronics Show, January 7–10, 1982, in Las Vegas). It has been listed in ...
,
MS-DOS
MS-DOS ( ; acronym for Microsoft Disk Operating System, also known as Microsoft DOS) is an operating system for x86-based personal computers mostly developed by Microsoft. Collectively, MS-DOS, its rebranding as IBM PC DOS, and a few op ...
, and
Apple II
Apple II ("apple Roman numerals, two", stylized as Apple ][) is a series of microcomputers manufactured by Apple Computer, Inc. from 1977 to 1993. The Apple II (original), original Apple II model, which gave the series its name, was designed ...
.
In 1987, she began a separate half-hour syndicated series on many broadcast stations called ''Ask Dr. Ruth'', which was co-hosted by Larry Angelo. Westheimer's friend Eleanor Bergstein, the writer of the 1987 romantic drama dance film ''Dirty Dancing'', attempted to cast her to play Mrs. Schumacher in the film (with Joel Grey as her husband). She backed out when she learned the character is a thief.
She appeared on a ''
TV Guide
TV Guide is an American digital media
In mass communication, digital media is any media (communication), communication media that operates in conjunction with various encoded machine-readable data formats. Digital content can be created, vi ...
'' cover
in 1988. Dr. Ruth returned to the Lifetime network in 1988 with ''The All New Dr. Ruth Show''. That was followed in 1989 by two teen advice shows called ''What's Up, Dr. Ruth?'', and a call-in show, ''You're on the Air with Dr. Ruth'' in 1990. That year she also appeared in an episode of the television series ''
Tall Tales & Legends'' as the "Mysterious Stranger."
During the 1980s, "Dr. Ruth" became a household name and a major cultural figure; during the 1980s and 1990s, she made frequent guest appearances on several
network television
A television broadcaster or television network is a telecommunications network for the distribution of television content, where a central operation provides programming to many television stations, pay television providers or, in the United ...
shows, including ''
Late Night with David Letterman
''Late Night with David Letterman'' is an American television talk show broadcast by NBC. The show is the first installment of the '' Late Night''. Hosted by David Letterman, it aired from February1, 1982 to June 25, 1993, and was replaced by ...
'', and appeared on talk shows on German television.
She was portrayed on ''
Saturday Night Live
''Saturday Night Live'' (''SNL'') is an American Late night television in the United States, late-night live television, live sketch comedy variety show created by Lorne Michaels and developed by Michaels and Dick Ebersol that airs on NBC. The ...
'' by
Mary Gross in "
Saturday Night News"
four times in 1983, and twice in 1984; was a guest on ''
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
''The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson'' is an American television talk show broadcast by NBC. The show was the third installment of ''The Tonight Show''. Hosted by Johnny Carson, it aired from October 1, 1962 to May 22, 1992, replacing ''T ...
''
twice in 1982,
once in 1983,
three times in 1984,
twice in 1985 – in addition to being impersonated in a "Mighty Carson Art Players" sketch, and
once in 1986; on ''
Joan Rivers: Can We Talk?'' twice in 1986; seven times as a panelist on the game show ''
The New Hollywood Squares'' in 1986–87; on ''
The Arsenio Hall Show
''The Arsenio Hall Show'' is an American syndicated late-night talk show created by and starring comedian Arsenio Hall.
There have been two different incarnations of ''The Arsenio Hall Show''. The original series premiered on January 3, 1989 ...
'' once in 1989; on ''
The Joan Rivers Show'' once in 1989; and on ''
Live with Regis and Kathie Lee'' in both 1989 and 1990. In 1987, she made a TV commercial for
Signal mouthwash.
1990–1999

In 1990, Westheimer starred in an
ABC sitcom pilot, ''Dr. Ruth's House'', which aired as a one-time special in June of that year. ABC did not move forward in turning the pilot into a series.
In 1993, Westheimer and Israeli TV host
Arad Nir hosted a talk show in
Hebrew
Hebrew (; ''ʿÎbrit'') is a Northwest Semitic languages, Northwest Semitic language within the Afroasiatic languages, Afroasiatic language family. A regional dialect of the Canaanite languages, it was natively spoken by the Israelites and ...
titled ''Min Tochnit'', on the newly opened
Israeli Channel 2. The show was similar to her U.S. ''Sexually Speaking'' show. The name of the show, ''Min Tochnit'', is a play on words: literally "Kind of a program", but "Min" (מין) in Hebrew also means "sex" and "gender".
1993 and 1994 saw the publication of "Dr. Ruth's Good Sex Night-to-Night Calendar."
In 1994, she appeared in a computer game, an interactive
CD-ROM
A CD-ROM (, compact disc read-only memory) is a type of read-only memory consisting of a pre-pressed optical compact disc that contains computer data storage, data computers can read, but not write or erase. Some CDs, called enhanced CDs, hold b ...
adaptation of ''Dr. Ruth's Encyclopedia of Sex'' released for
Windows
Windows is a Product lining, product line of Proprietary software, proprietary graphical user interface, graphical operating systems developed and marketed by Microsoft. It is grouped into families and subfamilies that cater to particular sec ...
and a Philips
CD-i
The Compact Disc-Interactive (CD-I, later CD-i) is a digital optical disc data storage format as well as a hardware platform, co-developed and marketed by Dutch company Philips and Japanese company Sony. It was created as an extension of CDDA ...
.
In 1995, she hosted a series of ''
Playboy
''Playboy'' (stylized in all caps) is an American men's Lifestyle journalism, lifestyle and entertainment magazine, available both online and in print. It was founded in Chicago in 1953 by Hugh Hefner and his associates, funded in part by a $ ...
'' instructional videos entitled "Making Love". She also wrote a column distributed both nationally and internationally by the
King Features Syndicate
King Features Syndicate, Inc. is an American content distribution and animation studio, consumer product License, licensing and print syndication company owned by Hearst Communications that distributes about 150 comic strips, columnist, newspape ...
.
In 1996, she co-authored ''Heavenly Sex'', on Judaism and sex, in which she wrote: "The great rabbi
Simeon ben-Halafta called the
penis
A penis (; : penises or penes) is a sex organ through which male and hermaphrodite animals expel semen during copulation (zoology), copulation, and through which male placental mammals and marsupials also Urination, urinate.
The term ''pen ...
the great peacemaker of the home."
She referred to the
Book of Ruth
The Book of Ruth (, ''Megillath Ruth'', "the Scroll of Ruth", one of the Five Megillot) is included in the third division, or the Writings ( Ketuvim), of the Hebrew Bible. In most Christian canons it is treated as one of the historical books ...
as encouraging single women to initiate sex (providing the relationship leads to marriage), cited a
Talmud
The Talmud (; ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of Haskalah#Effects, modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cen ...
ic mandate that an unemployed man must make love to his wife every day, and mentioned the writings of a 12th-century rabbi who suggested that couples use different positions while having sex.
In 1992, she was a
guest star
The term guest appearance generally denotes the appearance of a guest in an artistic or pop-culture setting.
The guests themselves (referred to as guest artists, featured artists, guest stars, or guest fighters, depending on context), are disting ...
on the television soap opera ''
One Life to Live
''One Life to Live'' (often abbreviated as ''OLTL'') is an American soap opera broadcast on the American Broadcasting Company, ABC television network for more than 43 years, from July 15, 1968, to January 13, 2012, and then on the internet as ...
''. She appeared as herself in "
Dr. Ruth", a 1993 episode of the sci-fi drama series ''
Quantum Leap
Quantum leap or ''variation'', may refer to:
In general
* Quantum leap (physics), also known as quantum jump, a transition between quantum states
** Atomic electron transition, a key example of the physics phenomenon
* Paradigm shift, a sudden ch ...
''. She appeared on the
BBC
The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) is a British public service broadcaster headquartered at Broadcasting House in London, England. Originally established in 1922 as the British Broadcasting Company, it evolved into its current sta ...
radio show ''
Desert Island Discs
''Desert Island Discs'' is a radio programme broadcast on BBC Radio 4. It was first broadcast on the BBC Forces Programme on 29 January 1942.
Each week a guest, called a " castaway" during the programme, is asked to choose eight audio recordin ...
''
in 1990; on ''The Arsenio Hall Show'' once in 1990, once in 1991, once in 1993, and once in 1994; on ''
The Howard Stern Show
''The Howard Stern Show'' is an American radio show hosted by Howard Stern that gained wide recognition when it was radio syndication, nationally syndicated on terrestrial radio from WINS-FM, WXRK in New York City, between 1986 and 2005. The sho ...
'' once in 1991; on ''
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' is an American television talk show broadcast by NBC. The show is the second installment of the ''Late Night (franchise), Late Night'' franchise originally established by David Letterman. Hosted by Conan O'Brie ...
''
once in 1994,
twice in 1995,
three times in 1996, and once in 1997; on ''
The Daily Show
''The Daily Show'' is an American late-night talk show, late-night talk and news satire television program. It airs each Monday through Thursday on Comedy Central in the United States, with extended episodes released shortly after on Paramount+ ...
''
once in 1998; and was featured in a ''
Celebrity Deathmatch
''Celebrity Deathmatch'' is an adult stop-motion claymated series created by Eric Fogel and produced by John Worth Lynn Jr. for MTV. A parody of sports entertainment programs, ''Celebrity Deathmatch'' depicted various celebrities engaging ...
'' episode
in 1999.
Westheimer also appeared in several commercial advertisements, including a 1990 commercial for
Clairol
Clairol is the American personal care-product division of company Wella, specializing in hair coloring and hair care. Clairol was founded in 1931 by Americans Joan Gelb and her husband Lawrence M. Gelb, with business partner and lifelong frien ...
Herbal Essences
Herbal Essences is a brand of hair care products line by Procter & Gamble. The brand was founded in 1971 as the single shampoo Clairol Herbal Essence Shampoo (officially typeset as ''Clairol herbal essence shampoo''). There are 29 collections of ...
shampoo and body wash, a 1991
Pepsi
Pepsi is a Carbonated water, carbonated soft drink with a cola flavor, manufactured by PepsiCo which serves as its flagship product. In 2023, Pepsi was the second most valuable soft drink brand worldwide behind Coca-Cola; the two share a long ...
commercial (along with
Annette Funicello
Annette Joanne Funicello (October 22, 1942 – April 8, 2013) was an American actress and singer. She began her professional career at age 12, becoming one of the most popular Mouseketeers on the original ''The Mickey Mouse Club, Mickey Mouse Cl ...
,
Frankie Avalon
Francis Thomas Avallone (born September 18, 1940), better known as Frankie Avalon, is an American singer, actor and former teen idol. He had 31 charting U.S. ''Billboard (magazine), Billboard'' singles from 1958 to late 1962, including Record ...
,
Bo Jackson
Vincent Edward "Bo" Jackson (born November 30, 1962) is an American former professional baseball and American football, football player. He is the only professional athlete in history to be named an All-star#Sports, All-Star in Major professio ...
, and
Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried (February 28, 1955 – April 12, 2022) was an American stand-up comedian and actor, best-known for his exaggerated shrill voice, strong New York dialect, his squint, and his edgy, often-controversial, sense of humor. Hi ...
), and a 1994
Honda Prelude
The is a sport compact car produced by the Japanese company Honda. It was once produced over five generations from 1978 to 2001. It is planned to be reintroduced in 2025.
For the first five generations, as a two-door coupe loosely derived from ...
ad.
2000–2009

In 2000, she appeared on Grammy Award winner
Tom Chapin
Tom Chapin (born March 13, 1945) is an American musician, entertainer, singer-songwriter, and storyteller.
Chapin is known for the song " Happy Birthday", released in 1989 in his ''Moonboat'' album. It takes its melody from "Love Unspoken", a so ...
's album ''This Pretty Planet'', in the song "Two Kinds of Seagulls", in which she and Chapin sing in a duet of various animals that reproduce sexually. "It takes two to tingle" says the song. That year, she also made a TV commercial for
Entenmann's
Entenmann's is a formerly American-owned company, now owned by the Mexican conglomerate, Grupo Bimbo, that manufactures baked goods and delivers them throughout the United States to supermarkets and other retailers for public sales. Often, the ...
Raspberry Danish Twist.
Between 2001 and 2007, Westheimer made regular appearances on the
PBS
The Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) is an American public broadcaster and non-commercial, free-to-air television network based in Arlington, Virginia. PBS is a publicly funded nonprofit organization and the most prominent provider of educat ...
children's television series ''
Between the Lions
''Between the Lions'' is an American animated/live-action/puppet educational children's television series designed to promote reading. The show is a co-production between WGBH in Boston, Sirius Thinking, Ltd., in New York City, and Mississipp ...
'' as "Dr. Ruth Wordheimer" in a spoof of her therapist role, in which she helps anxious readers and spellers overcome their fear of
long words. In 2002, she received a nomination for a
Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album for Children
The Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album for Children was an honor presented at the Grammy Awards, a ceremony that was established in 1958 and originally called the Gramophone Awards, to recording artists for works containing quality "spoken ...
, for ''Timeless Tales and Music of Our Time''.
In 2003–04, she made 10 appearances as a panelist on the game show ''
Hollywood Squares
''Hollywood Squares'' (originally ''The Hollywood Squares'', later stylized as ''H2: Hollywood Squares'') is an American game show in which two contestants compete in a game of tic-tac-toe to win cash and prizes. The show originally aired as a ...
''.
In 2004, she made
a guest appearance on ''
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!'', an
NPR
National Public Radio (NPR) is an American public broadcasting organization headquartered in Washington, D.C., with its NPR West headquarters in Culver City, California. It serves as a national Radio syndication, syndicator to a network of more ...
news
panel game
A panel show or panel game is a radio or television game show in which a panel of celebrities participate. Celebrity panelists may compete with each other, such as on '' The News Quiz''; facilitate play by non-celebrity contestants, such as on ' ...
, and in 2007
she appeared on ''
Live with Regis and Kelly
''Live with Kelly and Mark'' (or simply ''Live'') is an American Broadcast syndication, syndicated breakfast television, morning talk show hosted by Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. Executive produced by Michael Gelman, the ''Live with...'' show ...
''. In January 2009, the 55th anniversary issue of ''Playboy'' magazine included Westheimer as #13 in a list of the 55 most important people in sex from the past 55 years.
That year, ''
Vanity Fair'' named her one of "12 women who changed the way we look at sex."
She also appeared in the 2009 documentary ''
Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel''.
2010–2024
In 2011, interior designer
Nate Berkus hosted her on ''
The Nate Berkus Show'', after redoing the living room and dining room of her
Manhattan
Manhattan ( ) is the most densely populated and geographically smallest of the Boroughs of New York City, five boroughs of New York City. Coextensive with New York County, Manhattan is the County statistics of the United States#Smallest, larg ...
apartment, in which she had lived for 50 years, to reduce clutter. She appeared as a guest on ''
The Doctors'' in 2011 and 2012, on ''
Joy Behar: Say Anything!'' in 2012, on ''
Rachael Ray
Rachael Domenica Ray (born August 25, 1968) is an American cook, television personality, businesswoman, and author. She hosted the syndicated daily talk and lifestyle program '' Rachael Ray''. Other programs to her credit include ''30 Minut ...
'' in 2013 and 2015, and on ''
The Today Show
''Today'' (also called ''The Today Show'') is an American morning television show that airs weekdays from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. on NBC. The program debuted on January 14, 1952. It was the first of its genre on American television ...
'' in 2015 and 2019.
In 2018, she wrote three books.
In 2019, she published her 45th book on sex and sexuality.
On her 91st birthday, June 4, 2019, Westheimer
appeared as a guest on ''
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
''The Ellen DeGeneres Show'' is an American first-run syndicated talk show that was hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. The show ran for nineteen seasons from September 8, 2003, to May 26, 2022, in which it broadcast 3,339 episodes. It was produced by ...
'', and she visited Ellen's show again in
November 2019, taking questions from the audience, and was also a guest in
November 2020. In 2019, she
was a guest on ''
Late Night with Seth Meyers
''Late Night with Seth Meyers'' is an American late-night news and political satire variety talk show hosted by Seth Meyers on NBC. The show premiered on February 24, 2014, and is produced by Broadway Video and Universal Television. Airing w ...
'', ''
The View'', ''
The Today Show
''Today'' (also called ''The Today Show'') is an American morning television show that airs weekdays from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. on NBC. The program debuted on January 14, 1952. It was the first of its genre on American television ...
'', and twice on ''
Strahan, Sara and Keke''. She also had over 100,000 followers on
Twitter
Twitter, officially known as X since 2023, is an American microblogging and social networking service. It is one of the world's largest social media platforms and one of the most-visited websites. Users can share short text messages, image ...
.
Speaking of
the Holocaust
The Holocaust (), known in Hebrew language, Hebrew as the (), was the genocide of History of the Jews in Europe, European Jews during World War II. From 1941 to 1945, Nazi Germany and Collaboration with Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy ...
in 2021, Westheimer said: "We must keep saying to the young people, 'Think of these words —
never again
"Never again" is a phrase or slogan which is associated with the lessons of the Holocaust and other genocides. The slogan was used by liberated prisoners at Buchenwald concentration camp to denounce fascism. It was used by Jewish Defense Le ...
! Never again!' All of this must never happen again."
Speeches and ethnography
Westheimer delivered
commencement speech
In the United States, a commencement speech or commencement address is a speech given to graduating students, generally at a university, although the term is also used for secondary education institutions and in similar institutions around the ...
es at the
Hebrew Union College
Hebrew (; ''ʿÎbrit'') is a Northwest Semitic language within the Afroasiatic language family. A regional dialect of the Canaanite languages, it was natively spoken by the Israelites and remained in regular use as a first language until ...
seminary
A seminary, school of theology, theological college, or divinity school is an educational institution for educating students (sometimes called seminarians) in scripture and theology, generally to prepare them for ordination to serve as cle ...
,
Lehman College
Lehman College is a public college in New York City, United States. Founded in 1931 as the Bronx campus of Hunter College, it became an independent college in 1967. The college is named after Herbert H. Lehman, a former New York governor, United ...
of the
City University of New York
The City University of New York (CUNY, pronounced , ) is the Public university, public university system of Education in New York City, New York City. It is the largest urban university system in the United States, comprising 25 campuses: eleven ...
and, in 2004, at
Trinity College, where she was awarded honorary degrees.
She also was the guest speaker at the
Bronx High School of Science
The Bronx High School of Science is a State school, public Specialized high schools in New York City, specialized high school in the Bronx in New York City. It is operated by the New York City Department of Education. Admission to Bronx Science ...
in New York in commemoration of
Yom HaShoah
Yom HaZikaron laShoah ve-laG'vurah (), known colloquially in Israel and abroad as Yom HaShoah (, ) and in English as Holocaust Remembrance Day, or Holocaust Day, is observed as Israel's day of commemoration for the approximately six million Je ...
2008.
Westheimer was an accomplished
ethnographer
Ethnography is a branch of anthropology and the systematic study of individual cultures. It explores cultural phenomena from the point of view of the subject of the study. Ethnography is also a type of social research that involves examining ...
. Her studies in this field included the
Ethiopian Jews
Beta Israel, or Ethiopian Jews, is a Jewish group originating from the territory of the Amhara and Tigray regions in northern Ethiopia, where they are spread out across more than 500 small villages over a wide territory, alongside predominant ...
,
Papua New Guinea
Papua New Guinea, officially the Independent State of Papua New Guinea, is an island country in Oceania that comprises the eastern half of the island of New Guinea and offshore islands in Melanesia, a region of the southwestern Pacific Ocean n ...
's
Trobriand Islanders
The people of the Trobriand Islands are mostly subsistence farming, subsistence Horticulture, horticulturalists who live in traditional settlements. Their social structure is based on matrilineal clans that control land and resources. People parti ...
, and the
Druze
The Druze ( ; , ' or ', , '), who Endonym and exonym, call themselves al-Muwaḥḥidūn (), are an Arabs, Arab Eastern esotericism, esoteric Religious denomination, religious group from West Asia who adhere to the Druze faith, an Abrahamic ...
, a sect originating from
Shia Islam
Shia Islam is the second-largest Islamic schools and branches, branch of Islam. It holds that Muhammad in Islam, Muhammad designated Ali ibn Abi Talib () as both his political Succession to Muhammad, successor (caliph) and as the spiritual le ...
now residing in Israel, Syria, and Lebanon. The latter were the subjects of her 2007
PBS
The Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) is an American public broadcaster and non-commercial, free-to-air television network based in Arlington, Virginia. PBS is a publicly funded nonprofit organization and the most prominent provider of educat ...
documentary ''The Olive and the Tree: The Secret Strength of the Druze'', and a book of the same title. She was also the Executive Producer for PBS documentaries ''Surviving Salvation and No Missing Link'', ''Shifting Sands: Bedouin Women at the Crossroads'', and ''The Unknown Face of Islam'' (on the
Circassians
The Circassians or Circassian people, also called Cherkess or Adyghe (Adyghe language, Adyghe and ), are a Northwest Caucasian languages, Northwest Caucasian ethnic group and nation who originated in Circassia, a region and former country in t ...
).
Westheimer was a board member of the
Museum of Jewish Heritage in
Lower Manhattan
Lower Manhattan, also known as Downtown Manhattan or Downtown New York City, is the southernmost part of the Boroughs of New York City, New York City borough of Manhattan. The neighborhood is History of New York City, the historical birthplace o ...
in New York City.
Play and documentary
In October 2013 the one-woman play ''Becoming Dr. Ruth'', written by
Mark St. Germain and directed by
Julianne Boyd and set in 1997, opened
Off Broadway
An off-Broadway theatre is any professional theatre venue in New York City with a seating capacity between 100 and 499, inclusive. These theatres are smaller than Broadway theatres, but larger than off-off-Broadway theatres, which seat fewer tha ...
at the
Westside Theatre.
Actress
Debra Jo Rupp played the role of Dr. Ruth.
The play showcased the sex therapist's life from fleeing the Nazis in the Kindertransport and joining the
Haganah
Haganah ( , ) was the main Zionist political violence, Zionist paramilitary organization that operated for the Yishuv in the Mandatory Palestine, British Mandate for Palestine. It was founded in 1920 to defend the Yishuv's presence in the reg ...
in
Jerusalem
Jerusalem is a city in the Southern Levant, on a plateau in the Judaean Mountains between the Mediterranean Sea, Mediterranean and the Dead Sea. It is one of the List of oldest continuously inhabited cities, oldest cities in the world, and ...
as a scout and sniper, to her struggles to succeed as a single mother coming to the United States.
Eileen DeSandre
Eileen DeSandre is an American stage actor and a member of the Actors' Equity Association. Known for much of her career as a character actor in the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Oregon, she has more recently taken lead roles in a vari ...
played Dr. Ruth in the
Virginia Repertory Theatre production of ''Becoming Dr. Ruth''.
In 2021, actress
Tovah Feldshuh played Dr. Ruth.
In 2019, the documentary ''
Ask Dr. Ruth'' directed by
Ryan White
Ryan Wayne White (December 6, 1971 – April 8, 1990) was an American teenager from Kokomo, Indiana, who became a national poster child for HIV/AIDS in the United States after his school barred him from attending classes following a diagn ...
was in theaters, and was made available on
Hulu
Hulu (, ) is an American Subscription business model, subscription streaming media service owned by Disney Streaming, a subsidiary of the Disney Entertainment segment of the Walt Disney Company. It was launched on October 29, 2007, initially as ...
, as she approached her 90th birthday. it won a
4th Critics' Choice Documentary Award in 2019 as "Most Compelling Living Subject of a Documentary," and was a
19th AARP Movies for Grownups Awards nominee in 2019 for "
Best Documentary." Having previously avoided discussing her early years and how the Holocaust affected her family and herself, Westheimer believed that current events made it necessary for her to "stand up and be counted". She said that seeing child refugees being separated from their parents upset her, because her own story was reflected in what they were going through.
Accolades

Some time before 1983, Westheimer was made a non-physician Fellow of the
New York Academy of Medicine
The New York Academy of Medicine (the Academy) is a health policy and advocacy organization founded in 1847 by a group of leading New York metropolitan area physicians as a voice for the medical profession in medical practice and public health r ...
.
In 2008, Westheimer's name was added to the
Bronx Walk of Fame (as the first "Honorary Bronxite," chosen for contributions to the life of the borough).
In 2010 she was made a member of the
Women in Technology International Hall of Fame. In 2017 she was inducted into the German-American Hall of Fame. In 2019, she was inducted into the
Radio Hall of Fame
The Radio Hall of Fame, formerly the National Radio Hall of Fame, is an American organization created by the Emerson Radio Corporation in 1988.
Three years later, Bruce DuMont, founder, president, and CEO of the Museum of Broadcast Communication ...
.
Westheimer was named 1983 Jewish Woman of Achievement by a consortium of organizations connected with the
Federation of Jewish Philanthropies in New York, received the 1986 Mayor's Liberty Award from New York City Mayor
Ed Koch
Edward Irving Koch ( ; December 12, 1924February 1, 2013) was an American politician. He served in the United States House of Representatives from 1969 to 1977 and was mayor of New York City from 1978 to 1989.
Koch was a lifelong Democrat who ...
, and was given the 1987 Motion Picture Theater Bookers Association Star of Tomorrow Award. Her show ''The All New Dr. Ruth Show'' won a 1988
Ace Award, and was awarded the 1994
Magnus Hirschfeld Medal and the 1995
American Academy of Clinical Sexology Medal of Sexology. In 2002, she received the
Ellis Island Medal of Honor
The Ellis Island Medal of Honor is an American award founded by the Ellis Island Honors Society (EIHS) (formerly known as the National Ethnic Coalition of Organizations (NECO)), which is presented annually to American citizens, both native-born ...
, as well as the
Leo Baeck Medal for her humanitarian work promoting tolerance and
social justice
Social justice is justice in relation to the distribution of wealth, opportunities, and privileges within a society where individuals' rights are recognized and protected. In Western and Asian cultures, the concept of social justice has of ...
, in 2006 the Columbia University
Teacher's College Medal For Distinguished Services, in 2012 the
National Alliance on Mental Illness
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a United States–based nonprofit organization originally founded as a grassroots group by family members of people diagnosed with mental illness. NAMI identifies its mission as "providing advoca ...
Yale Mental Health Research Advocacy Award, in 2013 the
Planned Parenthood
The Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc. (PPFA), or simply Planned Parenthood, is an American nonprofit organization Margaret Sanger Award, and in 2019 the
Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany
The Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany (, or , BVO) is the highest state decoration, federal decoration of the Federal Republic of Germany. It may be awarded for any field of endeavor. It was created by the first List of president ...
and the
James Parks Morton Interfaith Award.
The
Library of Congress
The Library of Congress (LOC) is a research library in Washington, D.C., serving as the library and research service for the United States Congress and the ''de facto'' national library of the United States. It also administers Copyright law o ...
acquired her papers in 2022.
In 2000 Westheimer received an honorary doctorate from
Hebrew Union College
Hebrew (; ''ʿÎbrit'') is a Northwest Semitic language within the Afroasiatic language family. A regional dialect of the Canaanite languages, it was natively spoken by the Israelites and remained in regular use as a first language until ...
, in 2001 an honorary
Doctor of Humane Letters degree from
Lehman College
Lehman College is a public college in New York City, United States. Founded in 1931 as the Bronx campus of Hunter College, it became an independent college in 1967. The college is named after Herbert H. Lehman, a former New York governor, United ...
, in 2008 an honorary doctorate from
Westfield State University
Westfield State University (commonly known as Westfield State) is a public university in Westfield, Massachusetts. It was founded in 1839 by Horace Mann as the first public coeducational college in America.
History
In 1839, Horace Mann founded ...
, in 2014 an honorary Doctor of Humanities degree from
Trinity College in Connecticut, and in 2019 an honorary doctorate from
Ben Gurion University of the Negev (she remarked: "I wish I had met Ben Gurion. He was short.").
In 2023, Westheimer received the
Women's Entrepreneurship Day Psychology Pioneer Award from the
United Nations
The United Nations (UN) is the Earth, global intergovernmental organization established by the signing of the Charter of the United Nations, UN Charter on 26 June 1945 with the stated purpose of maintaining international peace and internationa ...
.
Personal life and death
Westheimer was married three times, the first time to Israeli soldier and medical student David Bar-Heim for five years, and the second time briefly to Dan Bommer, with whom she had her daughter, Miriam, who later took the last name of her stepfather.
She said each of her marriages played an important role in her relationship advice, but after two divorces it was her third marriage, at age 32 to fellow Holocaust survivor Manfred 'Fred' Westheimer, that was the "real marriage".
She met Fred on a
ski tow in
the Catskills.
Fred, too, had escaped
Nazi Germany
Nazi Germany, officially known as the German Reich and later the Greater German Reich, was the German Reich, German state between 1933 and 1945, when Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party controlled the country, transforming it into a Totalit ...
. When
Diane Sawyer
Lila Diane Sawyer (; born December 22, 1945) is an American television broadcast journalist known for anchoring major programs on two networks including ''ABC World News Tonight'', ''Good Morning America'', ''20/20 (U.S. TV series), 20/20'', and ...
, interviewing the couple for the TV show ''
60 Minutes
''60 Minutes'' is an American television news magazine broadcast on the CBS television network. Debuting in 1968, the program was created by Don Hewitt and Bill Leonard, who distinguished it from other news programs by using a unique style o ...
'' asked her husband about their sex life, he answered, "The shoemaker's children have no shoes."
Their marriage lasted 36 years, until his death in 1997.
She had two children: Dr. Miriam Yael Westheimer, an educator, author, and chief program officer of HIPPY International, which develops
early childhood education
Early childhood education (ECE), also known as nursery education, is a branch of Education sciences, education theory that relates to the teaching of children (formally and informally) from birth up to the age of eight. Traditionally, this is ...
and
literacy
Literacy is the ability to read and write, while illiteracy refers to an inability to read and write. Some researchers suggest that the study of "literacy" as a concept can be divided into two periods: the period before 1950, when literacy was ...
programs, and who lived in Israel for six years and later married Joel Henry Einleger, and
Joel Westheimer, a professor at the
University of Ottawa
The University of Ottawa (), often referred to as uOttawa or U of O, is a Official bilingualism in Canada, bilingual public research university in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. The main campus is located on directly to the northeast of Downtown Ot ...
; she had four grandchildren.
She said: "I was so short – 4 feet 7 inches – that I couldn't believe that anything could grow inside of me."
Westheimer spoke English, German, French, and
Hebrew
Hebrew (; ''ʿÎbrit'') is a Northwest Semitic languages, Northwest Semitic language within the Afroasiatic languages, Afroasiatic language family. A regional dialect of the Canaanite languages, it was natively spoken by the Israelites and ...
.
In December 2014, Westheimer was a guest at a wedding in
the Bronx
The Bronx ( ) is the northernmost of the five Boroughs of New York City, boroughs of New York City, coextensive with Bronx County, in the U.S. state of New York (state), New York. It shares a land border with Westchester County, New York, West ...
. The groom, Rabbi Benjamin Goldschmidt, was the great-grandson of the woman who had helped rescue Westheimer from Nazi Germany.
Among her concerns in the 21st century was loneliness of people.
In 2023, Gov.
Kathy Hochul
Kathleen Hochul ( ; ; born August 27, 1958) is an American politician and lawyer who has served since 2021 as the 57th governor of New York. A member of the Democratic Party (United States), Democratic Party, she is New York's List of female ...
of New York appointed Westheimer as the inaugural "Loneliness Ambassador".
In her final years, Westheimer lived in the cluttered three-bedroom apartment on 190th Street "in
Washington Heights where she raised her two children and became famous, in that order".
She stayed there, she said in 1995, to be near the two
synagogue
A synagogue, also called a shul or a temple, is a place of worship for Jews and Samaritans. It is a place for prayer (the main sanctuary and sometimes smaller chapels) where Jews attend religious services or special ceremonies such as wed ...
s of which she was a member (one of which is the Reform synagogue the Hebrew Tabernacle Congregation of Washington Heights, and the other of which is
Conservative Synagogue Adath Israel of Riverdale; she was also a member of the
Orthodox synagogue Ohav Shalom until it closed), the
YMHA of Washington Heights and
Inwood of which she was president for 11 years, and a "still sizable community of German Jewish World War II refugees".
She explained: "Because of my experience with the Holocaust, I don't like to lose friends."
Westheimer died at her home in
Manhattan
Manhattan ( ) is the most densely populated and geographically smallest of the Boroughs of New York City, five boroughs of New York City. Coextensive with New York County, Manhattan is the County statistics of the United States#Smallest, larg ...
on July 12, 2024, at the age of 96.
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Filmography
* ''
Electric Dreams'' (1984); science fiction romantic comedy; cast as herself as talk show host
* ''
Une Femme ou Deux (One Woman or Two)'' (1985); comedy romance starring
Gérard Depardieu
Gérard Xavier Marcel Depardieu (, , ; born 27 December 1948) is a French actor. An icon of French cinema, considered a world star in the same way as Alain Delon or Brigitte Bardot, he has completed over 250 films since 1967, most of which as ...
and
Sigourney Weaver
Susan Alexandra ( ; born October 8, 1949), better known by her stage name Sigourney Weaver, is an American actress. Prolific in film since the late 1970s, she is known for her pioneering portrayals of action heroines in Blockbuster (entertainme ...
;
cast as Mrs. Heffner
* ''
Forever, Lulu'' (1987); comedy mystery starring
Hanna Schygulla,
Deborah Harry
Deborah Ann Harry (born Angela Trimble, July 1, 1945) is an American singer, songwriter and actress, best known as the lead vocalist of the band Blondie. Four of her songs with the band reached on the US charts between 1979 and 1981.
Born in M ...
, and
Alec Baldwin
Alexander Rae Baldwin III (born April 3, 1958) is an American actor and film producer. He is known for his leading and supporting roles in a variety of genres, from comedy to drama. He has received List of awards and nominations received by A ...
; cast as herself
* ''
Quantum Leap
Quantum leap or ''variation'', may refer to:
In general
* Quantum leap (physics), also known as quantum jump, a transition between quantum states
** Atomic electron transition, a key example of the physics phenomenon
* Paradigm shift, a sudden ch ...
'' (TV, 1993) "Dr. Ruth" (episode 87); science fiction; cast as herself
* ''The Emperor's New Clothes: An All-Star Illustrated Retelling of the Classic Fairy Tale'' (1998); cast as the Imperial Physician (voice)
* ''
The History of Sex'' (1999); documentary, interviews
* ''
Between the Lions
''Between the Lions'' is an American animated/live-action/puppet educational children's television series designed to promote reading. The show is a co-production between WGBH in Boston, Sirius Thinking, Ltd., in New York City, and Mississipp ...
'' (2000); children's program; cast as Dr. Ruth Wordheimer
* ''
Inside Deep Throat'' (2005); documentary about the pornographic film ''Deep Throat'', and its effects on American society; as herself
* ''Lipshitz Saves the World'' (2007); comedy starring
Leslie Nielsen
Leslie William Nielsen (February 11, 1926November 28, 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters.
He made his a ...
; cast as herself
* ''
Ask Dr. Ruth'' (2019; Sundance Film Festival); documentary directed by Ryan White follows Westheimer as she reflects on her life and career
References
External links
*
Dr. Ruth's Encyclopedia of Sex*
*
Introduction to ''Sexually Speaking'' Radio Show*
"Arsenio Hall and Dr. Ruth visit Condomania," December 22, 2006 (video)
November 29, 2013, ''The New York Times'' (video)
"Oral history interview"with Dr. Ruth by the
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum (USHMM) is the United States' official memorial to the Holocaust, dedicated to the documentation, study, and interpretation of the Holocaust. Opened in 1993, the museum explores the Holocaust through p ...
, June 14, 2010 (audio)
{{DEFAULTSORT:Westheimer, Ruth
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