Forgiveness

Forgiveness, in a psychological sense, is the intentional and voluntary process by which one who may have felt initially wronged, victimized, harmed, or hurt goes through a process of changing feelings and attitude regarding a given offender for their actions, and overcomes the impact of the offense, flaw, or mistake including negative emotions such as resentment or a desire for vengeance. Theorists differ in the extent to which they believe forgiveness also implies replacing the negative emotions with positive attitudes (e.g., an increased ability to tolerate the offender), or requires reconciliation with the offender.

Forgiveness is interpreted in many ways by different people and cultures. As a psychological concept and as a virtue, the obligation to forgive and the benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, moral philosophy, social sciences, and medicine.

On the psychological level, forgiveness is different from simple condoning (viewing action as harmful, yet to be "forgiven" or overlooked for certain reasons of "charity"), excusing or pardoning (merely releasing the offender from responsibility for their actions), or forgetting (attempting to remove from one's consciousness the memory of an offense). In some schools of thought, it involves a personal and "voluntary" effort at the self-transformation of one's half of a relationship with another, such that one is restored to peace and ideally to what psychologist Carl Rogers has referred to as " unconditional positive regard" towards the other.

In many contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and may be granted without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, such as an apology, or to explicitly ask for forgiveness, for the wronged person to believe themselves able to forgive.

Most world religions include teachings on forgiveness, and many of these provide a foundation for various modern traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies emphasize the need for people to find divine forgiveness for their shortcomings; others place greater emphasis on the need for people to forgive one another.

The nature of forgiveness

, there is no consensus for a psychological definition of forgiveness in the research literature. However, there is agreement that forgiveness is a process, and several models describing the process of forgiveness have been published, including one from a radical behavioral perspective.

Dr. Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin–Madison founded the International Forgiveness Institute and initiated forgiveness studies. He developed a 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness. In that model, to forgive someone, the victim should examine the wrong they suffered, who caused it, and the context in which it happened; consider the anger they feel about it, any shame or guilt associated with it, and how it has affected them; decide whether they want to advance into an attitude of forgiveness, and, if so, work on understanding, compassion, and acceptance, and make a gesture of reconciliation to the offender; then, reformulate the way they remember the experience of being wronged and of developing forgiveness in ways that healthily integrate this into their life story.

A longitudinal study showed that people who were generally more neurotic, angry, and hostile in life were less likely to forgive another person even after a long time had passed. They were more likely to avoid their transgressor and want to enact revenge upon them two and a half years after the transgression.

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentment. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender their cardiovascular and nervous system functioning improves. Another study found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. Less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.

Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, author of ''Forgive for Good'', presented evidence that forgiveness can be learned (i.e. is a teachable skill, with practice) based on research into the effects of teaching forgiveness. This research gave empirical support to the powerful, positive health effects of forgiveness. In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose family members were murdered in the political violence, he found that people who are taught how to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. His studies show a reduction in experience of stress, in physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality.

In a study conducted in Rwanda to examine the discourses and practices of forgiveness following the 1994 genocide, sociologist Benoit Guillou highlighted the extensive range of meanings associated with the term "forgiveness" and its underlying political nature. In the study's findings, the author presented four primary aspects of forgiveness to facilitate a clearer comprehension of both its multifaceted applications and the circumstances in which forgiveness can contribute to the restoration of social connections.

Ideas about what forgiveness is not

Forgiveness does not encompass condoning, forgetting, or excusing the transgressor's actions. Additionally, the victim does not have to minimize their feelings of having been wronged in order to forgive, nor do they have to reconcile with the transgressor. The focus of forgiveness is not to deny or suppress anger; rather, its focus is on dealing with resentment. In particular, it is healthy to acknowledge and express negative emotions before one forgives. Forgiveness is also distinct from accountability or justice; in particular, punishment and compensation are independent of the choice to forgive, and the victim can forgive or not forgive while still pursuing punishment and/or compensation. While a victim may have granted decisional forgiveness (refraining from seeking revenge, possibly reconciling), they may not have emotionally forgiven the offender (replacing negative emotions towards them with positive ones) or expressed forgiveness to them. Additionally, expressing emotions may be distinct from genuinely experiencing the emotions (i.e. people can claim one emotional experience while actually feeling something else instead). Although it is heavily debated, emotional forgiveness is generally considered to be for the victim and not the offender, unless the victim chooses to involve the offender by expressing forgiveness to them or reconciling. It is not considered to be something that can be granted by an uninvolved party.

The timeliness of forgiveness

Psychologist Wanda Malcolm, in ''Women's Reflections on the Complexities of Forgiveness'', outlines reasons why forgiveness takes time: when working on self (care/healing) takes priority (i.e. therapy, medical injuries, etc.), when issues of safety need to be addressed, and where facilitating forgiveness may be premature immediately after an interpersonal offense. Malcolm explains that "premature efforts to facilitate forgiveness may be a sign of our reluctance to witness our client's pain and suffering and may unwittingly reinforce the client's belief that the pain and suffering is too much to bear and must be suppressed or avoided."

Worthington ''et al.'' observed that "anything done to promote forgiveness has little impact unless substantial time is spent at helping participants think through and emotionally experience their forgiveness". Efforts to facilitate forgiveness may be premature and even harmful immediately after an interpersonal injury.

Forgiveness in philosophical thought

The philosopher Joseph Butler (''Fifteen Sermons'') defined forgiveness as "overcoming of resentment, the overcoming of moral hatred, as a speech act, and as forbearance". In his 1962 lecture on "Freedom and Resentment"', philosopher P. F. Strawson described forgiveness as "a rather unfashionable subject in moral philosophy" at that time.

Religious views

Religion can affect how someone chooses to forgive—for example, through religious activity, religious affiliation and teachings, and imitation.

Abrahamic

Judaism

In Judaism, if a person causes harm, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is encouraged, but not required, to grant forgiveness:

In Judaism, one must go "to those he has harmed" to be entitled to forgiveness. One who sincerely apologizes three times for a wrong committed against another has fulfilled their obligation to seek forgiveness. This means that in Judaism a person cannot obtain forgiveness from God for wrongs they have done to other people. This also means that, unless the victim forgave the perpetrator before he died, murder is unforgivable in Judaism, and they will answer to God for it, though the victims' family and friends can forgive the murderer for the grief they caused them. The '' Tefila Zaka'' meditation, which is recited just before Yom Kippur, closes with the following:

Thus, the "reward" for forgiving others is not God's forgiveness for wrongs done to others, but rather help in obtaining forgiveness from the other person.

Sir Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth, summarized: "It is not that God forgives, while human beings do not. To the contrary, we believe that just as only God can forgive sins against God, so only human beings can forgive sins against human beings."

Jews observe a Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, on the day before God makes decisions regarding what will happen during the coming year. Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the prior year (if they have not already done so). During Yom Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray for God's forgiveness for the transgressions they have made against God in the prior year. Sincere repentance is required, and since God can only forgive one for the sins one has committed against God, it is necessary for Jews to also seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.

Christianity

Forgiveness is central to Christian ethics. The prayer Jesus taught his followers to recite begs God to "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors". When Peter asks if he should forgive someone "as many as seven times", Jesus replies, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." Jesus warned that God's forgiveness for one's sins depends on their forgiveness towards others.

Hannah Arendt stated that Jesus was "the discoverer of the role of forgiveness in the realm of human affairs."

=God's forgiveness

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Unlike in Judaism, in Christianity God can forgive sins committed by people against people, since he can forgive every sin except for the eternal sin, and forgiveness from one's victim is not necessary for salvation. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is perhaps the best known parable about forgiveness and refers to God's forgiveness for those who repent. Jesus asked for God's forgiveness of those who crucified him: "Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" –

=Forgiving others

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Forgiving offenses is among the spiritual works of mercy, and forgiving others begets being forgiven by God. Considering Mark 11:25, and Matthew 6:14–15, that follows the Lord's Prayer, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses," forgiveness is not an option to a Christian; rather one must forgive to be a Christian. Forgiveness in Christianity is a manifestation of submission to Christ and fellow believers.

In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of forgiving or showing mercy toward others. This is based on the belief that God forgives sins through faith in the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in his death ( 1 John 2:2) and that, therefore, Christians should forgive others ( Ephesians 4:32). Jesus used the parable of the unmerciful servant ( Matthew 18:21–35) to show that His followers (represented in the parable by the servant) should forgive because God (represented by the king) forgives much more.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy." "So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift." "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses." "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

=Catholicism

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Divine Forgiveness

The Catholic Church believes in God's grace of forgiveness of sin and in the necessity of contrition (repentance) for said forgiveness. According to Catholicism, God commands people to pray for forgiveness ("And forgive us our trespasses") because he wants to forgive sin and rejoice over people, as well as for the same reason he grants the graces of contrition and prayer. When God forgives a sin, he – despite his omniscience – forgets about the sin, and at the particular and general judgments, only unforgiven sins will be judged. Those who refuse said forgiveness at the moment of death commit the eternal sin of final impenitence.Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1033

/ref>

There are sacramental and non-sacramental ways to obtain God's forgiveness of sin. Sacramental ways include baptism (which forgives original sin, all venial and mortal sin, and all temporary and eternal punishment), confession (which forgives all venial and mortal sin and all eternal punishment), the Eucharist (which forgives all venial sin), and the anointing of the sick (which forgives all venial and mortal sin and all eternal punishment). Non-sacramental ways include the works of mercy and perfect contrition.Catechism of the Catholic Church 1434
/ref> Works of mercy can also be offered up for the partial forgiveness of the dead in Purgatory, and partial and plenary indulgences can respectively obtain partial and full (plenary) forgiveness of temporary punishment - either for the person who obtains it or for the dead in Purgatory. The Apostolic Pardon is a plenary indulgence that Catholics, dying in sanctifying grace, can obtain for themselves.

Penitent non-Catholics and penitent excommunicated Catholics can obtain forgiveness, albeit by a means considered to be known only to God. Feeneyism (the belief that people outside the church cannot be saved from sin or hell) and double predestination (the belief that some people are predestined to commit sin and/or go to hell) are considered heresies.

Divine forgiveness is considered infinitely greater than human forgiveness because it can grant preservative redemption (i.e. the Immaculate Conception of Mary and the fruit of Holy Communion) and purge sin via deification.

Human Forgiveness

The Catholic Church believes the works of mercy are a means of grace because they are the fruit of contrition. Among the spiritual works of mercy is forgiveness of sins committed against oneself. People cannot forgive like God, but they can imitate him by forgiving honestly and out of love.

Pope Benedict XVI, on a visit to Lebanon in 2012, insisted that peace must be based on mutual forgiveness: "Only forgiveness, given and received, can lay lasting foundations for reconciliation and universal peace".

Pope Francis during a General Audience explained forgiving others as God forgives oneself: "We are forgiven as we forgive others."

Islam

Islam teaches that Allah is "The Oft-Forgiving", and is the original source of all forgiveness ( ). Seeking forgiveness from Allah with repentance is a virtue.

Islam recommends forgiveness, because Allah values forgiveness. There are numerous verses in Quran and the Hadiths recommending forgiveness. Islam also allows revenge to the extent of the harm done, but forgiveness is encouraged, with a promise of reward from Allah.

( عفو is another term for forgiveness in Islam; it occurs 35 times in Quran, and in some Islamic theological studies, it is used interchangeably with . means to pardon, to excuse for a fault or an offense. According to Muhammad Amanullah, International Seminar on Islamic Thoughts Proceedings, December 2004, Department of Theology and Philosophy, Faculty of Islamic Studies Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia forgiveness () in Islam is derived from three wisdoms. The first and most important wisdom of forgiveness is that it is merciful when the victim or guardian of the victim accepts money instead of revenge. The second wisdom of forgiveness is that it increases the honor and prestige of the one who forgives. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, humiliation or dishonor. Rather, forgiveness is honorable, it raises the merit of the forgiver in the eyes of Allah, and it enables a forgiver to enter paradise. The third wisdom of forgiveness is that, according to scholars such as al-Tabari and al-Qurtubi, forgiveness expiates () the forgiver from the sins they may have committed at other occasions in life. Forgiveness is a form of charity (). Forgiveness comes from (piety), a quality of God-fearing people.

Forgiveness is also described in the form of safh (Arabic: صفح), which is the root word of page in Arabic. The term can be translated as excusing or turning a page or turning the other cheek. It appears several times alongside the terms '''Afw'' and ''ghufran''.

Bahá'í Faith

In the Bahá'í Writings, this explanation is given of how to be forgiving toward others:

Dharmic

Buddhism

In Buddhism, forgiveness prevents harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one's mental well-being. Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our mind-karma. Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts that leave a more wholesome effect. "In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all." When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality.
Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions. "If we haven't forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers."

Buddhism places much emphasis on the concepts of (loving-kindness), (compassion), (sympathetic joy), and (equanimity), as a means to avoiding resentments in the first place. These reflections are used to understand the context of suffering in the world, both our own and the suffering of others.

Dharma

In Vedic literature and epics of Hinduism, or (Sanskrit: क्षमा) and fusion words based on it, name the concept of forgiveness. The word is often combined with (tenderness), (kindness), and ( करुणा, compassion) in Sanskrit texts. In the Rigveda, forgiveness is discussed in verses dedicated to the deity Varuna, both the context of the one who has done wrong and the one who is wronged. Forgiveness is considered one of the six cardinal virtues in Hindu Dharma.

The theological basis for forgiveness in Hindu Dharma is that a person who does not forgive carries a baggage of memories of the wrong, of negative feelings, and of anger, and unresolved emotions that affect their present as well as future. In Hindu Dharma, not only should one forgive others, but one must also seek forgiveness if one has wronged someone else. Forgiveness is to be sought from the individual wronged, as well as society at large, utilizing charity, purification, fasting, rituals, and meditative introspection.

Forgiveness is further refined in Hindu Dharma by rhetorically contrasting it in feminine and masculine forms. In the feminine form, one form of forgiveness is explained through Lakshmi (called Goddess Sri in some parts of India); the other form is explained in the masculine form through her husband Vishnu. Feminine Lakshmi forgives even when the one who does wrong does not repent. Masculine Vishnu, on the other hand, forgives only when the wrongdoer repents. In Hindu Dharma, the feminine forgiveness granted without repentance by Lakshmi is higher and more noble than the masculine forgiveness granted only after there is repentance. In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Sita – the wife of King Rama – is symbolically eulogized for forgiving a crow even as it harms her. Later in the epic Ramayana, she is eulogized again for forgiving those who harass her while she has been kidnapped in Lanka. Many other Hindu stories discuss forgiveness with or without repentance.

The concept of forgiveness is treated in extensive debates within Hindu literature. In some Hindu texts, certain sins and intentional acts are debated as naturally unforgivable, for example, murder and rape; these ancient scholars argue whether blanket forgiveness is morally justifiable in every circumstance, and whether forgiveness encourages crime, disrespect, social disorder, and people not taking others seriously.

Other ancient Hindu texts highlight that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness in Hindu Dharma does not necessarily require that one reconcile with the offender, nor does it rule out reconciliation in some situations. Instead forgiveness in Hindu philosophy is being compassionate, tender, kind, and letting go of the harm or hurt caused by someone or something else. Forgiveness is essential for one to free oneself from negative thoughts, and to be able to focus on blissfully living a moral and ethical life (a ''dharmic'' life). In the highest self-realized state, forgiveness becomes the essence of one's personality, where the persecuted person remains unaffected, without agitation, without feeling like a victim, free from anger ().

Other epics and ancient literature of Hindu Dharma discuss forgiveness. For example:

Jainism

In Jainism, forgiveness is one of the main virtues that Jains should cultivate. , or supreme forgiveness, forms part of one of the ten characteristics of . In the Jain prayer, () Jains repeatedly seek forgiveness from various creatures—even from or single-sensed beings like plants and microorganisms that they may have harmed while eating and doing routine activities. Forgiveness is asked by uttering the phrase, —a Prakrit language phrase literally meaning "may all the evil that has been done be fruitless." During —the last day of Jain festival —Jains utter the phrase after . As a matter of ritual, they personally greet their friends and relatives with , seeking their forgiveness. No private quarrel or dispute may be carried beyond , and letters and telephone calls are made to far away friends and relatives asking their forgiveness.

also contains the following prayer:

(I ask pardon of all creatures, may all creatures pardon me.

May I have friendship with all beings and enmity with none.)

In their daily prayers and , Jains recite , seeking forgiveness from all creatures while involved in routine activities:

May you, O Revered One! Voluntarily permit me. I would like to confess my sinful acts committed while walking. I honour your permission. I desire to absolve myself of the sinful acts by confessing them. I seek forgiveness from all those living beings which I may have tortured while walking, coming and going, treading on living organisms, seeds, green grass, dew drops, ant hills, moss, live water, live earth, spider webs, and others. I seek forgiveness from all these living beings, be they — one-sensed, two-sensed, three-sensed, four-sensed, or five-sensed. I may have kicked, covered with dust, rubbed with ground, collided with another, turned upside down, tormented, frightened, shifted from one place to another, or killed and deprived them of their lives. (By confessing) may I be absolved of all these sins.

Jain texts quote Māhavīra on forgiveness:

The code of conduct among monks requires them to ask forgiveness for all transgressions:

Other

is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, combined with prayer. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the South Pacific, including Samoa, Tahiti, and New Zealand. Traditionally, is practiced by healing priests or among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone.

Popular recognition

The need to forgive is widely recognized, but people are often at a loss for ways to accomplish it. For example, in a large representative sampling of American people on various religious topics in 1988, the Gallup Organization found that 94% said it was important to forgive, but 85% said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive. However, not even regular prayer was found to be effective. Akin to forgiveness is mercy, so even if a person is not able to complete the forgiveness process they can still show mercy, especially when so many wrongs are done out of weakness rather than malice. The Gallup poll revealed that the only effective mediator was engagement in " meditative prayer".

Forgiveness as a tool has been extensively used in such areas as restorative justice programs, after the abolition of apartheid in the truth and reconciliation process, among victims and perpetrators of Rwandan genocide, in response to the violence in the Israeli–Palestinian conflict and the Northern Ireland conflict. This has been documented in the film '' Beyond Right and Wrong: Stories of Justice and Forgiveness'' (2012).

Forgiveness is associated with the theory of emotion because it draws from a person's emotional connection with the situation. Forgiveness is something that most people are taught to understand and practice at a young age.

In relationships

Forgiveness in marriage is important. When two people can forgive each other, this contributes to a happy marriage. Forgiveness can help prevent problems from growing and aid in conflict resolution. In a dating relationship as opposed to a married relationship, couples are less likely to acknowledge transgressions surrounding the relationship and more likely to forgive each other without conditions, as well as being more understanding towards their partners. When married couples argue, they tend to focus on who is right and who is wrong.

Depending on the severity of the transgression, partners may engage in different communication behaviors to seek or grant forgiveness.

Merolla distinguished two types of forgiveness, conditional and indirect forgiveness, and direct forgiveness.

Direct and conditional forgiveness involve discussion about the incident, where the forgiving person is straightforward and clear in telling the offender that they forgive them, usually saying something such as "I forgive you", or "You are forgiven".

Indirect forgiveness reflects on minimizing the conflict. With this type of forgiveness, forgivers do not make it explicitly clear to their offender that they are forgiven, but rather it is just 'understood'. This could come from tactics such as humor, eye contact, hugging, or reverting to acting normal, or how things were before the transgression. Therefore, indirect forgiveness is less appropriate following a more severe incident that is usually followed by great hurt and anger, and more appropriate for smaller transgressions like minor disagreements or fights.

There is also conditional forgiveness, in which the offender is forgiven, but with stipulations. This could be a scenario where the offender makes a deal not to do something again that might have led to the transgression, such as drinking alcohol.

In a 2005 study, researchers investigated whether forgiveness is important in a marriage, particularly if it accrues before or after an argument as well as its role in broken promises. Researchers found six components that were related to forgiveness in marriage: satisfaction, ambivalence, conflict, attributions, empathy, and commitment.

Sheldon et al. conducted a study in which they surveyed both married and dating couples on past relational transgressions, the communication strategies used to grant forgiveness, the degree of forgiveness within a specific relationship, and the ratings of relationship satisfaction. The severity of the transgression was measured by three different factors and rated on a scale of severity. Of the forgiving strategies, five emerged and were rated on the frequency of their use. Forgiveness tendency (how likely couples were to forgive) was measured in five terms and rated on how likely couples were to agree to forgive, and relationship satisfaction was measured using Hendrick's Relationship Assessment Scale, which aimed to help understand how satisfied couples were with their relationship after having gone through some sort of transgression and then the forgiveness process. The results of this study showed that in married partners, the tendency to forgive was positively related to the use of minimizing and nonverbal forgiveness strategies. When it came to the severity of the transgression, the tendency or likelihood of forgiveness had no relation to any use of any given forgiveness strategy.

On the other hand, in dating relationships, the tendency to forgive was positively correlated with the use of nonverbal and explicit strategy, as was the transgression severity. Overall, this study showed that both married and dating couples who experienced similar amounts of transgressions did not differ largely in their satisfaction in the relationship after the forgiveness had occurred.

People in a relationship often believe that forgiveness means both parties must forget what had happened. When couples forgive their spouses, they sometimes need help from professionals to overcome the pain that might remain. Researchers described differences between how each individual perceives the situation based on who is in pain and who caused the pain.

The act and effects of forgiveness can vary depending on the relationship status between people. Between people who are married, friends, or acquaintances, the process of forgiving is similar but not completely the same.

Enright's model of forgiveness

Enright's model of forgiveness has received empirical support and describes forgiveness as a journey through four phases:

; Uncovering phase: Emphases exploring the pain that the person has experienced.
; Decision phase: The nature of forgiveness is discussed. The person commits that they will try to forgive the transgressor.
; Work phase: The focus shifts to the transgressor to gain insight and understanding.
; Deepening phase: The victim moves toward resolution, becoming aware that he/she is not alone, having been the recipient of others' forgiveness, and finds meaning and purpose in the forgiveness process.

Recommendations and interventions

The researchers also came up with recommendations for practitioners and interventions to help married individuals communicate with each other, to resolve problems, and to forgive each other more easily. For example, people should explore and understand what forgiveness means before starting any intervention because preconceived ideas of forgiveness can cause problems with couples being open to forgiving. For example, a conflict may arise if a person does not forgive their spouse out of fear that the spouse might think that they are weak.

In 2001, Charlotte vanOyen-Witvliet asked people to think about someone who had hurt, wronged, or offended them. As they thought to answer, she observed their blood pressure, heart rate, facial muscle tension, and sweat gland activity. Recalling the grudge increased the candidates’ blood pressure and heart rate, and they sweated more. The rumination was stressful and unpleasant. When they adopted forgiveness, they showed no more of an anxiety reaction than normal wakefulness produces.

Interventions

Psychology researchers agree that the purpose of forgiveness interventions is to decrease the overall negative effect associated with the initial perceived wrongdoing and increase the individual's positive affect.

The incorporation of forgiveness into therapy has been lacking, but has gained popularity. The growth of forgiveness in psychology has given rise to the study of forgiveness interventions.

A meta-analysis of group-based forgiveness interventions examined how well they increase self-reported forgiveness (or decrease "unforgiveness"). It concluded that "The data appear to speak clearly: Forgiveness interventions are effective."

Types

There are various forms of forgiveness interventions. One is where patients are forced to confront the thoughts that prevent them from forgiving by using introspective techniques and expressing to the therapist. Another is getting the person to try to see things from the offender's point of view, so that they may understand the reasoning behind the offender's actions. If they can do this, they might be able to forgive the offender more easily.

Researchers have studied forgiveness interventions in relationships and whether or not prayer increases forgiveness. One study found that praying for a friend or thinking positive thoughts about that person every day for four weeks positively boosts the chances of forgiving that friend or partner, which leads to a better relationship.

Contrary evidence

There is conflicting evidence on the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions, and some researchers have taken a critical approach to the forgiveness intervention approach to therapy.

Critics argued that forgiveness interventions may cause an increase in negative affect because they try to inhibit the person's feelings towards the offender. This can result in the person feeling negatively towards themselves. This approach implies that the negative emotions the person is feeling are unacceptable and feelings of forgiveness are correct and acceptable. This might inadvertently promote feelings of shame and contrition in the person.

Psychologist Wanda Malcolm states "it is not a good idea to make forgiveness an a-priori goal of therapy". Steven Stosny asserts that victims must heal first and then forgive, and that fully acknowledging the grievance (both what actions were harmful and naming the emotions the victim felt as a response to the offender's actions) is an essential first step before forgiveness can occur.

Some researchers worry that forgiveness interventions promote unhealthy relationships. They worry that individuals with toxic relationships will continue to forgive those who continuously commit wrong acts towards them, when in fact they should be distancing themselves from those sorts of people.

Several studies showcase high effectiveness rates of forgiveness interventions when done continuously over a long period. However, some researchers have found these interventions ineffective when done over short periods.

Children

Some studies looked at the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions on young children, including several cross-cultural studies. One looked at forgiveness interventions and Chinese children who were less likely to forgive those who had wronged them, finding an effect of such interventions on the children.

Older adults

Older adults who receive forgiveness interventions report higher levels of forgiveness than those who did not receive treatment. Forgiveness treatments resulted in lower depression, stress, and anger than no-treatment conditions. Forgiveness interventions also enhanced positive psychological states, indicated by factors such as life satisfaction, subjective happiness, and psychological wellbeing. This was regardless of the specific intervention model or format (group or individual).

Mental health

Survey data from 2000 showed that 61% of those participants who were part of a small religious group reported that the group helped them be more forgiving. People who reported that their religious groups promoted forgiveness also found success in overcoming addictions, guilt, and discouragement.

Mindfulness may play a role as a mediator in the relationship between forgiveness and health outcomes. When combined with mindfulness, forgiveness has a beneficial impact on physical health. However, the effects of forgiveness on health are contingent upon the presence and practice of mindfulness.

Self-forgiveness is an important part of self-acceptance and mental health in stages of life. Failing to achieve self-forgiveness can have negative effects on mental health. Among the elderly, self-forgiveness often involves introspection about past wrongdoings, aiming to prevent their recurrence; this process contributes to enhancing their authentic self-concept. When people successfully learn from transgressions, they may experience improved mental health.

Self-forgiveness can reduce feelings of guilt and shame associated with hypersexual behavior. Hypersexual behaviour can cause distress and life problems, but self-forgiveness may help individuals reduce hypersexual negative behaviours that cause problems.

Self-forgiveness may be associated with procrastination; self-forgiveness allows a person to overcome the negative effects linked to earlier behaviour and adopt proactive approaches toward similar tasks. Embracing self-forgiveness in the context of procrastination can enhance self-esteem and mental well-being, potentially leading to a reduction in procrastination tendencies.

The self-help book ''Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health'' details the benefits and the mental, physical, and psychological results of forgiveness. Stress relief may be the chief factor that connects forgiveness and well-being. Levels of stress go down when levels of forgiveness rise, resulting in a decrease in mental health symptoms.

Forgiveness lifts a burden, as the forgiver no longer feels anger or hatred toward the transgressor, and may better understand the transgressor. This improves their health and outlook.

A meta-analysis of several controlled studies of forgiveness-oriented psychological interventions tried to determine whether certain classes of intervention helped people to forgive, and also whether this helped their emotional health in general. It found strong support for forgiveness interventions that helped people go through a multi-step process of forgiveness, but no support for forgiveness interventions that were designed merely to help people ''decide to'' forgive.

Another meta-analysis examined how forgiveness interventions affected depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, and concluded that "interventions designed to promote forgiveness are more effective at helping participants achieve forgiveness and hope and reduce depression and anxiety than either no treatment or alternative treatments."

Physical health

There have been a number of studies attempting to find a correlation between forgiveness and physical health. Some studies show no correlation, either positive or negative, while others show a positive correlation.

Evidence supporting a correlation

People characterized by the personality trait of forgiveness tend to experience better physical health. A study focusing on relationships revealed that the level of forgiveness exhibited by individuals had a discernible impact on their physical well-being, regardless of whether they were in positive or negative relationships.

People who decide to genuinely forgive someone also have better physical health. This is due to the relationship between forgiveness and stress reduction. Forgiveness prevents poor physical health and manages good physical health.

People who choose to forgive another have lower blood pressure and lower cortisol levels than those who do not. This is theorized to be due to forgiveness and suggests forgiveness is an evolutionarily-selected trait. Direct influences of forgiveness include: Reducing hostility (which is inversely correlated with physical health), and that unforgiveness may degrade the immune system because it puts stress on the individual. Indirect influences are more related to forgiveness as a personality trait and include: people who are forgiving may have more social support and less stressful marriages, and forgiveness may be related to other personality traits that correlate with physical health.

Forgiveness may also correlate with physical health because hostility is associated with poor coronary performance. Unforgiveness is a sort of hostility, and forgiveness is letting go of hostility. Heart patients who are treated with therapy that includes forgiveness to reduce hostility have improved cardiac health compared to those who are treated with medicine alone.

Forgiveness may also lead to an improvement in an individual's perception of their own physical health. This correlation applies to both self-forgiveness and other-forgiveness but is especially true of self-forgiveness. Individuals who are more capable of forgiving themselves have better perceived physical health.

People who forgive can have healthier hearts, fewer depression symptoms, and less anxiety. Forgiveness can help mental health, especially with people who have mental disorders. Forgiveness can also improve the immune system.

Criticisms

Forgiveness studies have been refuted by critics who claim that there is no direct correlation between forgiveness and physical health. Forgiveness, due to the reduction of directed anger, contributes to mental health, and mental health contributes to physical health, but there is no evidence that forgiveness itself directly improves physical health. Most of the studies on forgiveness cannot isolate it as an independent variable in an individual's well-being, so it is difficult to prove causation.

Research into the correlation between physical health and forgiveness has been criticized for being too focused on unforgiveness. Research shows more about what hostility and unforgiveness contribute to poor health than it shows about what forgiveness contributes to good health. Unforgiving or holding grudges can contribute to adverse health outcomes by perpetuating anger and heightening sympathetic nervous system arousal and cardiovascular reactivity. Expression of anger has been strongly associated with chronically elevated blood pressure and with the aggregation of platelets, which may increase vulnerability to heart disease.

Self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness happens in response to situations in which someone has done something they perceive to be morally wrong and that they consider themselves to be responsible for. Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative emotions that the wrongdoer associates with the wrongful action, which can include guilt, regret, remorse, blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.

Major life events that include trauma can cause individuals to experience feelings of guilt or self-hatred. People can reflect on their behaviours to determine if their actions are moral. In situations of trauma, people may self-forgive by allowing themselves to change and live a moral life. Self-forgiveness may be required in situations where the individual hurt themselves or in situations where they hurt others. Self-forgiveness has a moderating effect between depression and suicidality. this suggests that self-forgiveness (up to a point) is protective against suicide, hinting at possible prevention strategies.

Therapeutic model

People can unintentionally cause harm or offence to one another. It is important that individuals recognize when this happens, and in the process of making amends, to self-forgive. The ability to forgive oneself can benefit a person's emotional and mental well-being. The ability to forgive oneself for past offences can lessen negative emotions such as shame and guilt while increasing positive practices such as self-kindness and self-compassion. However, the process of self-forgiveness may be misinterpreted and therefore not accurately completed. This could lead to increased feelings of regret or self-blame. To avoid this, and to increase the positive benefits associated with genuine self-forgiveness, a specific therapeutic model of self-forgiveness can be used to encourage genuine self-forgiveness. The proposed model has four key elements: responsibility, remorse, restoration, and renewal:
# Responsibility is the first necessary step towards genuine self-forgiveness. To avoid the negative effect associated with emotions such as overwhelming guilt or regret, offenders must first recognize that they have hurt another person, and accept responsibility for their actions.
# Once the person accepts responsibility, it is natural for them to experience feelings of remorse or guilt. However, these feelings can be genuinely processed and expressed.
# Restoration allows the offending person to make the necessary amends to the person(s) they have hurt.
# Is renewal, the offending person can genuinely forgive himself/herself for their past transgressions and can engage in more positive and meaningful behaviors such as self-compassion and self-kindness.
The process of self-forgiveness is not always applicable for every person. For example, people who have not caused others any harm or wrongdoing, but instead suffer from negative emotions such as self-hatred or self-pity—such as victims of assault—might attempt self-forgiveness for their perceived offences. However, this would not be the process necessary for them to make their amends. Additionally, offenders who continue to offend while attempting to forgive themselves for past offences demonstrate a reluctance to genuinely complete the four stages necessary for self-forgiveness. It is important to first gather exterior information about the person's perceived offences as well as their needs and motivation for self-forgiveness.

Unapologetic forgiveness

In some contexts, forgiveness can help someone deal with an offender who refuses to apologize for or even recognize wrongdoings. According to Glen Pettigrove, "the relationship between apologies and the adjectives 'apologetic' and 'unapologetic' is not quite so straightforward." Choosing to forgive someone or not correlates with whether or not that person is truly sorry for their actions. Forgiving a person who does not seem remorseful for their actions can be difficult, but it may loosen the grip the person has over the victim. Intrusive thoughts can cause the person who wants to forgive to have feelings of low self-worth and to endure a traumatic phase due to that person's actions. Going through a negative experience can cause long term trauma. A person may benefit from letting go and accepting what has happened. Letting go does not erase the recognition of what the offender did, but forgiveness can lead to inner peace from the lack of negative emotion within. Despite the other person not apologizing sincerely, forgiving them may be the solution to problems and result in loving oneself.

Jean Hampton sees the decision to forgive the unrepentant wrongdoer as expressing a commitment "to see a wrongdoer in a new, more favorable light" as one who is not completely rotten or morally dead.

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{{Authority control

Emotions
Kindness
Moral psychology
Mythology
Religious ethics
Religious practices
Spiritual practice
Virtue