White Bitch (band)

''Epic Movie'' is a 2007 American parody film written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and produced by Paul Schiff. It was released on January 26, 2007 and stars Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jayma Mays, Jennifer Coolidge, Faune A. Chambers, Crispin Glover, Tony Cox, and Fred Willard. A parody of the epic film genre, the film references '' The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Da Vinci Code'', ''Harry Potter'', ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'', ''Pirates of the Caribbean'', and ''X-Men''.

The film was unanimously panned by critics and many have considered it to be one of the worst films of all time. Despite this, it was a box office success and earned $86.9 million worldwide, more than four times its $20 million budget.

Plot

Lucy finds that her adoptive father, a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas. Before dying, he gives clues that lead her to a "Golden Ticket" in a vending machine candy bar. Fellow orphans Edward, a disillusioned monk trainee; Susan, a displaced adopted girl; and Peter, a mutant at Mutant Academy who is often teased for his chicken-like wings, all find Golden Tickets. All four meet up at Willy's Chocolate Factory. Willy reveals his plot to use them all as a special ingredient in his treats.

Attempting to hide from the maniacal Willy, Lucy finds a wardrobe. On the other side, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus, who welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia and warns her of danger. The others follow Lucy to Gnarnia, and Edward meets the White Bitch. She convinces him to trap the other orphans in order to become the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle.

All four go to Tumnus' house, where they discover their relation to each other in a copy of the famous painting ''The Last Supper'', and that the White Bitch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver, Tumnus' life partner, to defeat the White Bitch.

Edward sneaks off to the White Bitch's castle. When he refuses to reveal to her where the others are, she flashes him her breasts, hypnotizing him into giving up the information on the orphans, then imprisons him. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus apparently sacrifices himself to ensure their safety.

Afterwards, the orphans meet a graying Harry Potter, along with a balding Ron Weasley and a pregnant Hermione Granger at Hogwarts. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch, accidentally killing Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and Rubeus Hagrid in the process.

Captain Jack Swallows helps Edward escape, only for Edward to find out it was a ruse as Jack, the Bitch's old enemy, needs intelligence out of Edward.

Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter head to the camp of Aslo. Aslo agrees to help Edward and manages to kill Silas, but while breaking Edward out, he is slain by the White Bitch. As the orphans have a pre-battle party with their allies, Susan gets drunk and vomits everywhere, disgusting their army enough that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. The four siblings engage the White Bitch in battle and all (except for Peter) are killed. Peter then finds a magic remote and uses its powers to revive his siblings.

Together, they kill the army, defeat the White Bitch, and stop her plan. Peter declares the White Bitch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Gnarnia, but Jack's wheel accidentally crushes her to death. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land. Tumnus then shows up, having survived his battle. Decades later, the four now-elderly rulers find the wardrobe again and go through it. They appear moments after they had left, young again. They meet Borat, who congratulates them on a happy ending, but then, Jack's wheel accidentally runs over the quartet, killing them. Borat then says his iconic "NOT!" before turning around and clapping his buttocks, ending the film.

Cast

Parodies

Films and TV shows

* '' The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'' (2005) (main parody)
* ''The Da Vinci Code'' (2006)
* ''Nacho Libre'' (2006)
* ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'' (2005)
* '' Snakes on a Plane'' (2006)
* '' X-Men: The Last Stand'' (2006)
* ''Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'' (2005)
* ''Borat'' (2006)
* ''Rocky III'' (1982)
* ''Scarface'' (1983)
* '' Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'' (2006)
* ''Superman Returns'' (2006)
* '' The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift'' (2006)
* ''Click'' (2006)
* ''MTV Cribs'' (2000–2006)
* ''Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle'' (2004)
* ''Punk'd'' (2003–2007)
* ''Chappelle's Show'' (2003)
* ''Star Wars'' (1977)
* ''Saturday Night Live'' (2005) – " Lazy Sunday" song by The Lonely Island
* ''The Lord of the Rings'' (2001)
* '' Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby'' (2006)
* '' Mission: Impossible III'' (2006)
* ''Casino Royale'' (2006)
* ''V for Vendetta'' (2005)

Celebrities

* Mel Gibson
* Michael Jackson
* Lindsay Lohan
* Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
* Kanye West
* Ashton Kutcher
* Flavor Flav
* Samuel L. Jackson
* Paris Hilton
* Puff Daddy
* 50 Cent

Release

Home media

The film was released on DVD on May 22, 2007, in both unrated and theatrical versions. As of late 2009, 1,040,120 DVDs were sold, bringing in $16,807,388.

Reception

Box office

''Epic Movie'' debuted at number one at the box office with a gross of $18.6 million over the opening weekend. As of May 8, 2007, the film has grossed $86,865,564, with $39,739,367 of that amount earned domestically. The film was an economic success for its producers not least because it had a comparatively low budget, estimated at $20 million (the same as ''Date Movie'').

Critical response

Audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an average grade of "C−" on an A+ to F scale.

A. O. Scott of ''The New York Times'' called the film "irreverent and also appreciative, dragging its satiric prey down to the lowest pop-cultural denominator" and added, "The humor is coarse and occasionally funny. The archly bombastic score . . . is the only thing you might call witty. But happily, Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard show up ... to add some easy, demented class." Mick LaSalle of the ''San Francisco Chronicle'' thought "only a complete idiot could think ''Epic Movie'' is remotely funny or worth making at all." Describing it as "so bereft of anything resembling wit or inspiration", he wondered, "What were the perpetrators, uh filmmakers, thinking?" In the ''Los Angeles Times'', Alex Chun called the film "nothing more than a disjointed series of scenes and references cobbled together as a backdrop for sophomoric humor." Ronnie Scheib of ''Variety'' said it was "epically unfunny" and "unlikely to join the list of blockbusters it lampoons." The ''Radio Times'' said "There's very little that's epic about this senseless parody, but then there's very little that's funny about it, either... It's mind-numbingly, tediously unamusing and is so devoid of imagination it even parodies self-mocking films."
The Chicago Reader described the film as being "the cinematic equivalent of a tapeworm", while in his review for The Guardian, John Patterson wrote that "Epic Movie is an epic catastrophe, or an artistic failure of epic proportions, or even an Emetic Piece of Insufferable Crap". The Times expressed surprise that " Penn would stoop so low".

Accolades

''Epic Movie'' was nominated for three Golden Raspberry Awards at the 28th ceremony: Worst Remake or Rip-off, Worst Supporting Actress (Carmen Electra), and Worst Screenplay (Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer).

See also

* List of films considered the worst
* List of parody films

References

External links

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{{DEFAULTSORT:Epic Movie
2007 comedy films
2007 films
2007 fantasy films
2000s parody films
American parody films
American fantasy films
Disney parodies
Films about cannibalism
20th Century Fox films
2000s English-language films
Fantasy parodies
Works based on Harry Potter
Films about witchcraft
Films about wizards
Films scored by Edward Shearmur
Films directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Films shot in California
Films shot in New Jersey
Regency Enterprises films
American slapstick comedy films
Parody films based on James Bond films
2000s American films
English-language action adventure films
English-language fantasy films
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in popular culture