Twoflower

This article contains brief biographies for prominent characters from Terry Pratchett's ''Discworld'' series. More central characters' biographies are also listed in articles relating to the organisations they belong to, main characters have their own articles.

Characters are listed alphabetically by name.

''71-Hour'' Ahmed

A Klatchian warrior and bodyguard who accompanies his Prince, Khufurah, an envoy on a diplomatic mission from Klatch to Ankh-Morpork in the 21st ''Discworld'' novel, '' Jingo''. Ahmed belongs to a formidable but honourable warrior clan called the D'regs. Speaking purposefully with a heavy accent and chewing cloves he is suspected of killing the Watch's prime suspect in a botched assassination attempt on the prince; provoking Vimes and the Watch to pursue Ahmed back to Klatch.

Ahmed got his nickname by killing a man guilty of poisoning a well, one hour before the cultural D'reg three days of unwavering hospitality allowed; a time during which even great enemies should be shown respect. He is later revealed to be the ''Wali'' of Klatch, equivalent to Vimes's position as Commander of the City Watch. Ahmed and Vimes eventually develop a wary respect for each other as basically honest cops in unenviable positions.

Ankh-Morpork

A character in itself, Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with 1 million inhabitants, and a common location for many of the Discworld's stories. Its nickname is "the Big Wahoonie" (an ugly, smelly fruit). Originally two cities separated by a river, Ankh and Morpork today are governed as one city-state. Ankh-Morpork contains the Assassin's guild, the Unseen University and the City Watch amongst many other famous Discworld institutions.

Ankh-Morpork City Watch

The Ankh-Morpork Watch, also known as just "The Watch", is Ankh-Morpork's police force.

The Auditors of Reality

The Auditors of Reality are formless non-beings housed under grey cloaks with no distinguishing marks. Auditors do not speak, they re-arrange the world what they wish to express been stated without words being uttered. Auditors are neutral, devoid of emotion but are opposed to the chaotic morass of emotions of humanity. This is because humanity is messy and upsets the logically reasoned order of the universe; by which the Auditors feel the universe should be run without let or hindrance.

Auditors appear in eleventh ''Discworld'' novel, '' Reaper Man'', attempting to replace Death with a more amenable professional, with less of an identity and personality. The Auditors choose to remain at odds with Death as he champions the concepts of identity, individuality and personality, which remain alien to the Auditors. Any Auditors who start to exhibit expressions of individuality are instantaneously, disintegrated into non-existence and immediately replaced by a new identical facsimile. Auditors are supposedly of one mind, always acting in concert with unanimity, but as more interaction with reality occurs this unison gradually and inevitably breaks down as disagreement, bickering, creativity and jealousy formulate with Auditors developing consciousness. A notable example of an Auditor going through the process of anthropopathism is ''Myria LeJean'', (''myriad'' and '' legion''), who appears in the 26th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Thief of Time'', who rebels against the Auditors in their mission to destroy humanity.

The 'greyness' of the Auditors may be a nod to The Grey Men of the novel Momo and its similar paranormal entities.

Mavolio Bent

The Head Cashier and all but in charge of the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork, makes his first appearance in the 36th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Making Money''. Mr Bent has been employed at the bank since he was thirteen, when he came to the city with a group of travelling accountants. He was born as a clown, but his first time performing the audience laughing at him caused him to flee and join a group of travelling accountants, discovering his talent for numbers.

Mavolio Bent's history bears a passing resemblance to that of John Major who was born the son of a music hall performer, but left to join a bank, eventually becoming Prime Minister of the UK, 1990–1997. Andrew Rawnsley said that he "ran away from the circus to join a troupe of accountants".

Lieutenant Blouse

Polly Perks's platoon commander in 31st ''Discworld'' novel, '' Monstrous Regiment'', Blouse is an effeminate aristocrat who was promoted from administrator in the Quartermaster-General's Blanket, Bedding, and Horse Fodder Department to field command with no previous experience, thanks to the rapidly decreasing circle of Borogravia's supply of combat-ready men.

Blouse's ambition to have an item of clothing or a food named after him, following in the tradition of famous military men, is eventually fulfilled when a fingerless glove is given his name. Blouse's talent for mathematics and technology propel him to success despite a feminine manner and lack of martial prowess signalling a change in Discworld warfare as intelligence and technology begin to replace bravery and fighting skill. Blouse comes to respect the women serving under him.

Brutha

Brutha is an Omnian novice at the Citadel in the capital city of Kom in the 13th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Small Gods''. Omnia is an autocratic theocracy that believes in the existence of only one God, The Great God Om. Brutha is a dutiful and truly faithful lad; his devotion being instilled from infancy by being raised by his piously strict grandmother. Brutha is word-perfect on Omnian religious texts thanks to his eidetic memory but unable to read or write. By virtue of his memory, Brutha retains all conversations and moments from the day of his birth.

Brutha finds a one-eyed tortoise in the soft soil of his melon patch, the tortoise is actually the Great God Om afflicted with temporary amnesia, which recedes in the presence of Brutha. Brutha is the sole remaining true believer of Om as all other Omnians have unknowingly shifted their belief to the structure of the church, leaving Om with almost no godly powers, resulting in his earthly manifestation into a tortoise with memory loss instead of a rampaging giant bull.

Brutha comes to the attention of Deacon Vorbis, the Chief Exquistor in charge of the Quisition, who intends to use Brutha's amazing memory to invade and occupy the neighbouring country of Ephebe and propel himself to head of the Omnian church. Brutha foils Vorbis's plans, restores Om's godly powers, resolves the conflict between Omnia and the other nations on the Klatchian coast and becomes the Cenobiarch and the Eighth Prophet of the Church. He reforms the Church into a "constitutional religion", one where even Om has to obey his commandments. Brutha fills his time as Cenobiarch by copying all of the lost works from the Great Library of Ephebe fire that had occurred during the Omnian occupation of Ephebe. His reign as Cenobiarch lasted for one hundred years until his death.

Seldom Bucket

Seldom Bucket was a big man in cheese production in Ankh-Morpork, who just prior to the events in ''Maskerade'', purchases the Ankh-Morpork Opera House. Seldom believes he can make money from opera like he can from cheese, he becomes horrified to learn how expensive opera is, and it is in fact a '' money pit''. This becomes exacerbated by the slew of strange murders being committed by the 'Opera Ghost', causing Seldom to rethink his purchase.

The Canting Crew

The Canting Crew is an informal name for a group of Ankh-Morpork beggars who are too anarchic for the Beggars' Guild, which has a tendency to constrain them with rules. Members of the group can often be found beneath Ankh-Morpork's Misbegot Bridge and are normally accompanied by the talking dog, Gaspode.

Death joins the crew in the 16th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Soul Music'' where he takes the name, ''Mr Scrub''. Death is successful at taking coin and enhancing the group's earning power where he also becomes known as ''the Grateful Death.''

In ''The Truth'', the crew are recruited by the ''Ankh-Morpork Times'' editor, William de Worde to become newspaper hawkers, where they capitalise on their unintelligibility to sell copies.

Foul Ole Ron

Excessively seedy, momentously dirty, overpoweringly smelly and entirely incomprehensible, Foul Ole Ron is the best-known member of the crew. He is often accompanied by Gaspode, the world's only ''thinking-brain dog'' (as opposed to a ' seeing-eye dog'). ''Ron's smell'' has become strong enough to not only melt earwax but to acquire a separate existence entirely — it occasionally arrives ahead of Ron and opts to stick around for a while after his departure.

Ron's 'catchphrase', "Buggrit, millennium hand an' shrimp...", was the result of Pratchett feeding a random text generating program with a Chinese takeaway menu and the lyrics to They Might Be Giants's song '' Particle Man''. His catchphrase (minus 'buggrit') is also used by Mrs Tachyon, a character in the Johnny Maxwell series, also by Pratchett.

Foul Ole Ron is in one verse of Sam Vimes's "City version" of '' Where's My Cow?'' that Young Sam enjoyed, but Lady Sybil Vimes disapproved of this version.

Altogether Andrews

Altogether Andrews is a mass of many personalities, none of them named Andrews with most having higher social status than Altogether. The Duck Man speculates that Andrews was once a mild-mannered psychic, mentally overwhelmed by the other souls. Andrews is generally regarded as one of the most consistently sane of the group, since at least five of his personalities can hold a sensible conversation with other people. The personalities 'voted' on whether to act as street vendors for ''The Ankh Morpork Times'' (in ''The Truth'') and Andrews held up five fingers to indicate the outcome of his personalities' decision.

Coffin Henry

Sometimes spelt 'Coughin' Henry'. Coffin Henry has a habitual cough from which he gets his name, it is described as sounding 'almost solid'. Like Ron, he has a verse in ''Where's My Cow?'', as adapted by Vimes to fit city life. In it, Henry goes "Cough, gack, ptui".

While Ron asks people for money to stop following them, Coffin Henry makes money by not going anywhere. People send him small sums to not turn up at their parties asking people to look at his interesting collection of skin diseases. He also wears a sign saying "For sum muny I wont follo yu hom".

The Duck Man

The Duck Man is the intellectual of the group, and in comparison appears relatively sane, he seems unaware of the duck that lives on his head and has little memory of life before joining the Canting Crew, referring to it as "when I was someone else". Possibly once rich and well educated at some time, he wears the tattered remnants of an expensive suit. As a boy, he "messed around in boats". Somebody apparently wants him dead, as the price on his head at the Assassins' Guild is $132,000. but there's a chance he put that contract on himself.
The Duck Man appears in several of Pratchett's books, including ''Hogfather'', ''Soul Music'', ''The Truth'' and '' Feet of Clay''.

Arnold Sideways

Arnold Sideways is noted for being completely legless, literally — a cart ran over his legs several years ago and he now gets around on a wheelbarrow, usually pushed by the Duck Man. He carries an old boot on a stick, so muggers desperate enough to try to rob the beggars often find themselves being kicked on the top of the head by a three-foot tall man.

Carcer

Carcer (from the ) is the psychopathic villain of 29th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Night Watch'', described by Vimes as "a stone-cold killer. With brains". His full name is revealed in a preview of ''Night Watch'' but not in the completed novel, as Carcer Dun.

Carcer has a talent for unnerving people, an annoying laugh and a perpetual conviction of his own innocence despite his many crimes, which include at least two murders. Carcer claims his original crime was stealing a loaf of bread although, Vimes says, Carcer would have murdered the baker and stolen the whole bakery.

Following a rooftop chase across Unseen University in a magical thunderstorm, both Carcer and Vimes are transported thirty years into the past, about a week before the Glorious Revolution of the Twenty-Fifth of May. Carcer immediately murders Pseudopolitan watchman John Keel and joins Lord Winder's secret police force, the ''Unmentionables'', quickly climbing though their ranks. Ultimately, Carcer is apprehended and returned to the present day by Vimes.

Imp Y Celyn

In the 16th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Soul Music'', Imp Y Celyn (, , a pun on "Buddy Holly") is a bard from the mountainous country of Llamedos who is possessed by " Music with Rocks in" and becomes the Disc's greatest musician under the name Buddy, people comment on him appearing a little " elvish. Buddy founds the ''Band with Rocks In'', along with Cliff and Glod. The band tries to adhere to the hedonistic rock'n'roll stereotypical lifestyle of 'live fast and die young,' as they tour the Disc to the new fans of this music. An intervention by Death leads to a timeline change, where the music ends and Imp may have been seen working in a fried-fish stall in Quirm, a reference to Kirsty MacColl's song " There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis".

Christine

Christine is a pretty, thin, blonde chorus singer at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House, in the 18th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Maskerade'', who wears white and uses exclamation marks at the end of every sentence. She is an extraordinarily untalented singer in an inverse proportion to her beauty, but she has 'star talent'. The Opera House management promotes Christine because of her beauty and because her father helped finance the purchase of the Ankh-Morpork Opera House. Christine performs onstage by lip-syncing to the voice of Agnes Nitt who remains backstage. Christine's father once told her that a "dear little pixie" would help her career and she thinks that Agnes might be that pixie.

Roland de Chumsfanleigh

Roland de Chumsfanleigh — pronounced 'de Chuffley', which, as Pratchett says, is not his fault — is the son of the Baron of the Chalkland. Roland is introduced as a 12-year-old in the 30th ''Discworld'' novel, '' The Wee Free Men'', the first novel in the Tiffany Aching series. A dull-witted child, Roland is kidnapped and held by the Queen of the Elves for a year, eventually being freed by Tiffany.

In '' Wintersmith'', now a young man Roland is recruited by the Nac Mac Feegle to perform the role of the mythic Hero in the Dance of the Seasons, to fix the damage done by Tiffany and the Wintersmith.

In '' I Shall Wear Midnight'', the fourth book in the series, Roland marries Letitia Keepsake, a good-natured, pampered aristocrat.

Cohen the Barbarian

Ghenghiz Cohen, known as Cohen the Barbarian, is a hero in the classical sense, that is, a professional thief, brawler and ravisher of women. Cohen is introduced in the second ''Discworld'' novel, '' The Light Fantastic'', and returns prominently in '' Interesting Times'' and '' The Last Hero''. Cohen is the Discworld's greatest warrior hero, renowned for rescuing maidens, destroying mad high priests of dark cults, looting ancient ruins, and so on. Cohen first appears already as a toothless sinewy old man, with a long white beard that reaches below his loincloth and with a patch over one eye — "a legend in his own lifetime" — but still tough enough to handle anything, as to survive to such an age one must be very good as a barbarian indeed. Cohen supposes he might be between 90 and 95, before acquiring a set of diamond dentures made of troll teeth.

Cohen has outlived the heroic age and finds himself in a world where great battles and astonishing rescues rarely happen except in stories, one of the last being Troll Bridge where Cohen and a troll reminisce about the good old days when everyone respected tradition.

In '' Interesting Times'' Cohen becomes Emperor of the Agatean Empire by his own hand, but soon becomes bored and invades the home of the Gods in '' The Last Hero'', by "returning fire to the gods, with interest". Cohen is last seen stealing horses belonging to the Valkyries and riding into the sky, to explore space.

Cohen's name and character may be a literary echo of Robert E. Howard's character Conan the Barbarian and Genghis Khan, combined with the Jewish surname Cohen, because he can bring you "wholesale slaughter".

Cohen boasts of fathering dozens of children over his long life, but only one is introduced — Conina who appears in '' Sourcery''.

Conina

Conina is the daughter of Cohen the Barbarian and a temple dancer, introduced in the fifth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Sourcery''. Described as both a well-endowed, beautiful, and a skilled fighter due to attributes inherited from both parents, she nonetheless aspires to be a hairdresser, despite her natural talents as a barbarian heroine, where her genetics keep getting in the way, so she instinctively kills people who threaten her. Conina falls in love with Nijel the Destroyer, a clerk with the talents and physique to match who, despite having no aptitude for it, desperately wants to be a barbarian hero.

Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite

Mrs Cosmopilite is a dressmaker, who first appears in 10th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Moving Pictures'' as 'Vice-President' of Costuming and Theda Withel's landlady. Mrs Cosmopilite holds some individualistic ideas; amongst them she believes the Disc is under threat from inhuman monsters, that the world is round and that three dwarfs look in on her undressing every night.

Mrs Cosmopilite known to be venerated by the History Monks, who know that knowledge is greater if it comes from further away. This reverence might be attributed to Lu-Tze, a former lodger of Mrs Cosmopilite. Lu-Tze wrote down many of Marietta's working class aphorisms as guides by which to live life. The sayings serving dual purpose of stereotypical utterances of an older working-class woman and pieces of oriental wisdom. An example being, "I wasn't born yesterday" which, as Lu Tze points out, resembles one of the key revelations of Wen the Eternally Surprised, who, in reference to the continually destroyed and renewed nature of the universe, and the constancy of revelation, said "I was not born-yesterday!".

Sacharissa Cripslock

Miss Sacharissa Cripslock is the reporter for the ''Ankh-Morpork Times'' in the 25th ''Discworld'' novel, The Truth, having originally arrived at the print-works to complain about the invention of moveable type putting her father, an engraver out of a job.

Sacharissa combines her buxom qualities, talent for asking devious questions, ability to think in headlines and her editorial skills to be a skilful roving reporter.

Adora Belle Dearheart

Adora Belle Dearheart is cynical, angry chain-smoker, her father Robert Dearheart, founded the ''Grand Trunk Semaphore Company'' and was conned out of it by Reacher Gilt. Forced into employment, Adora obtains a post at the Golem Trust. Appearing first in 33rd ''Discworld'' novel, ''Going Postal'', Adora starts a tentative relationship with Moist von Lipwig, filled with Tracy and Hepburn-style combative banter. Intelligent and intuitive, Adora can easily see through Moist's schemes, out of fondness, she allows him to call her ''Spike''. Adora wears what she claims are "the pointiest heels in the world" which she uses to deal with unwelcome advances.

Death

The Disc's version of the Grim Reaper.

Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler

Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler — usually known by the epithet "Cut-Me-Own-Throat", CMOT Dibbler, or simply Dibbler, or even sometimes as just "Throat" — might be described as the Discworld's most enterprisingly successful unsuccessful entrepreneur, no-one has failed at success more times than Dibbler. A 'merchant venturer' of Ankh-Morpork, and the master of selling the 'sizzle' over the steak, Dibbler is most famous for selling meat by-products to unsuspecting passers-by, and also suspecting passers-by who have gotten sick from his sausages before, thus demonstrating that he is indeed a very good salesman.

CMOT's nickname originates from his catchphrase "... and at that price, I'm cutting me own throat". Dibbler has been described as looking like a rodent wearing long 'poacher's' coat covered in pockets, he is usually seen either carrying a tray or, in financially better times, pushing a barrow.

Dibbler for a time ran a mail-order service, including but not limited to ' fong shooey' advice, 'Grand Master Lobsang Dibbler' martial-arts lessons, ''Dibbler's Genuine Soggy Mountain Dew'' gin, souvenir snow-globes, and advertising space in the ''Ankh-Morpork Times''. Dibbler has branched out becoming at times:
*a moving pictures producer/director
*a music agent for a ' Music with Rocks In' group
*an editor of the ''Ankh-Morpork Inquirer'' — a tabloid published by the Guild of Engravers — for which he fabricated news stories.

When Dibbler's businesses (inevitably) fail, he falls back on selling 'pies (named meat for extra cost) with personality' and 'pig' sausages-inna-bun, where the sausages contain parts that might have been near a pig if you're lucky.

Dibbler's nickname might be a temporal paradox suggested by a time displaced Samuel Vimes. The wizard, Rincewind postulates that equivalents of Dibbler are everywhere. This theory is bourne out by the appearance of many versions of Dibbler throughout the Discworld series, some prominent ones being;

*Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah sold disturbingly live yogurt in Omnia ('' Small Gods''). In the Discworld II computer game, his name is spelt D'blah and he gives secrets about pyramid power in Djelibeybi.
*Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala sold suspiciously fresh thousand-year eggs in the Agatean Empire ('' Interesting Times'').
*Fair Go Dibbler sold the archetypal pie floaters on the lost continent of Fourecks ('' The Last Continent'').
Amongst no doubt many more, others include:
*Al-Jiblah
*May-I-Never-Achieve-Enlightenment Dhiblang
*Dib Diblossonson
*May-I-Be-Kicked-In-My-Own-Ice-Hole Dibooki
*Swallow-Me-Own-Blowdart Dhlang-Dhlang
* Point-Me-Own-Bone Dibjla

Mentioned in ''The Science of Discworld'', another Dibbler equivalent is Ratonasticthenes from Ephebe. It was previously thought they all might be related, but the ''Discworld Companion'' explains that this is parallel evolution. "Wherever people are prepared to eat terrible food," it says, "there will be someone there to sell it to them."

Dibbler appeared in the Cosgrove Hall animations of ''Soul Music'' and '' Wyrd Sisters'', where his appearance was modelled on Private Walker, the spiv in ''Dad's Army''.

A character named C!Mot is briefly mentioned in non-Discworld novel, '' The Also People'', by Ben Aaronovitch. Aaronovitch has confirmed that C!Mot is intended as a parallel Dibbler. A character called 'Clap-Me-In-Irons Daoibleagh' appears in the webcomic '' Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan''.

The Cretaceous conifer species ''Sulcatocladus dibbleri'' is named after CMOT Dibbler.Watson, J., Lydon, S. J. and Harrison, N. A. (2001
"A revision of the English Wealden Flora, III: Czekanowskiales, Ginkgoales & allied Coniferales"
Bulletin of the Natural History Museum (Geology Series), 57(1), 29–82.

Didactylos

Meaning " Two-Fingered" in Ephebian, Didactylos is a Disc philosopher who bears more than a passing resemblance to Diogenes the Cynic in the 13th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Small Gods''. Didactylos lives in a barrel inside the wall of the palace of the Tyrant in Ephebe, crafting bespoke philosophies, axioms and aphorisms for scraps. Although Didactylos is one of the most popular philosophers on the Disc, Didactylos never earns the respect of his fellow philosophers, who say he thinks 'about the wrong things', his authorship of the scroll, ''De Chelonian Mobile'', which contradicts Omnian dogma about the shape of the Discworld, was one catalyst in Vorbis' plans to annex Ephebe. A common motif for Didactylos is being pictured with a lantern though blind and looking for an "honest man". Didactylos is made an Omnian bishop by Brutha.

Doughnut Jimmy

Universally known as Doughnut Jimmy, Dr James Folsom is a highly proficient horse doctor that Samuel Vimes instructs to treat Lord Vetinari in the 19th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Feet of Clay''. A human doctor, that is, a doctor for humans do not have high success rates in the city, whereas Jimmy earns his living by making sure his patients who are worth thirty thousand dollars are still a good bet to pick up first place in the Quirm Steeplechase. Jimmy treats animals worth considerable amounts of money and faces considerable trouble if his patients die. A former jockey, Jimmy won a lot of money by not winning races and was highly skilled at achieving results.

Evil Harry Dread

Evil Harry Dread is the archetypal, villainous counterpart to Cohen the Barbarian; an old fashioned heroic fantasy type annoyed with how the Discworld has changed; such as modern heroes always blocking his escape tunnel before confronting him. Harry is ''proud'' of being a Dark Lord. Heroes don't bear him any grudges; he always lets them win and in return they always let him escape, the opposite of the modern Evil Overlord List. Evil Harry Dread follows the 'rules' by hiring stupid henchmen, investing in helmets that cover the ''whole'' face and placing heroes in overly contrived, easily escapable death-traps.

In the 27th ''Discworld'' novel, '' The Last Hero'', Harry joins Cohen's gang, the Silver Horde on the quest to 'return fire to the gods' by blowing up the mountain. True to his villainous archetype, Harry betrays them. The Horde praise him for still being a reliable Dark Lord to the end.

D'regs

The D'regs, a nomadic and warlike people who inhabit the desert regions of hubward Klatch. The D'regs are ferocious in battle, which they like to do and will attack anyone and anything, even themselves if bored, this can be put on hold in their tradition of ''hospitality'' similar to the ancient Greek law of ''xenia'' a guest will be cared for a duration of 72 hours, after that, all bets are off. Noted member 71-Hour Ahmed got his name by violating the 3-day custom, an act so unthinkable that ''other'' D'regs call him the most feared man in all of Klatch. Distrust is generally encouraged among the D'regs; Ahmed tells Vimes that his mother would be greatly offended if he trusted her, because she would then feel she had not brought him up right.

The 21st ''Discworld'' novel, '' Jingo'', notes that 'D'reg' is a name given by others. It means 'enemy', in this case, everybody else's, the D'regs proudly adopted this. The D'regs share many similarities with the Tuareg people of the Sahara of North Africa.

Rufus Drumknott

Secretary to Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, following the death of Lupine Wonse, he first appears in 15th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Men at Arms'' he commonly is seen entering and leaving the presence of the Patrician bearing either paperwork or verbal information on the activities of the denizens of the city, or the Disc in general. Drumknott is truly neutral and doesn't reflect on what his files contain, just that they are filed correctly.

William de Worde describes Drumknott as someone with "no discernible personality". In '' Unseen Academicals'', Drumknott shows no love for football, but in '' Raising Steam'', he develops a keen interest in the newly-emergent railway, wishing to spend more time aboard ''Iron Girder'', the Discworld's first steam locomotive.

Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre

Daughter of King Verence II of Lancre and Queen Magrat, Princess Esme made her debut in 23rd ''Discworld'' novel, '' Carpe Jugulum'' as a newborn about to be taken for her Christening. Esme's middle names are the result of a Lancre tradition that whatever the priest says at the naming ceremony becomes the child's full and correct name. Magrat—who owed her own name to a combination of this tradition and her mother's inability to spell "Margaret"—was determined it would not happen again, hence the "Note Spelling".

Magrat Garlick

A member of the Lancre coven of witches and also Queen of said region.

Gaspode

Gaspode the Wonder Dog first appears in the tenth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Moving Pictures''. Named for the Gaspode who faithfully stayed by his master's grave and whined, he and a number of other animals gain self-awareness and the ability to speak when the Holy Wood Dream escapes, and is compelled to travel to Holy Wood to break into the nascent film industry. Gaspode becomes the agent for Victor Tugelbend and Laddie, winning them pay raises from CMOT Dibbler.
Gaspode and Laddie blow up the Odium picture-throwing pit during the disrupted premiere of '' Blown Away'' to kill a creature from the Dungeon Dimensions, and destroy the portal created by the " click"; left for dead, he climbs out of the wreckage and reverts to a normal dog when the Holy Wood Dream ends.

In '' Men at Arms'', Gaspode has regained his sapience and ability to speak after too much time sleeping by the High Energy Magic Building at Unseen University, he assists the Night Watch's investigation of a plot involving the Disc's first and only ' gonne'. Gaspode simultaneously resents canine subservience to humanity and yearns for masterly companionship, he is able to shout commands at dogs as would a human, much to his self-disgust. In '' Feet of Clay'', Gaspode becomes Foul Ole Ron's Thinking Brain Dog and part of the Canting Crew. In '' The Fifth Elephant'', Gaspode helps Captain Carrot to track Angua down after she flees back to her native Überwald, where he explores his innate lupine nature.

In ''The Truth'', the existence of a talking dog has become a well-known urban myth along with the rightful King of Ankh-Morpork walking the streets of the city. Gaspode assists the newly created Ankh-Morpork ''Timess by becoming an informant called " Deep Bone".

Reacher Gilt

Reacher Gilt appears in the 33rd ''Discworld'' novel, ''Going Postal'', he is the head of a consortium of financiers who had been embezzling from the clacks network since it was set up, and who, when it reached the point of collapse, bought the original owners out with their own money.

A ruthless businessman with a piratical appearance; an eyepatch and a cockatoo which doesn't say 'pieces of eight' but 'twelve and a half percent' (one eighth), Reacher is a shameless con-artist and fraudster whose business style is akin to playing " find the lady with entire banks". Under Gilt's management, the clacks network became more profitable, but less reliable. Gilt pushes the network to near ruination, making sure no rivals appear by having his hired assassin, Mr Gryle deal with them. Reacher believes one day he will replace Lord Vetinari. A self-proclaimed advocate of freedom of choice, Gilt states that despite the communications monopoly held by the Grand Trunk Company, consumers still had the freedom to hand-deliver messages in person if they did not want to use the clacks network.

JHC Goatberger

Ankh-Morpork publisher whose company printed '' The Joye of Snacks'' by A Lancre Witch and the ''Ankh-Morpork Almanack''. Mr Goatberger prints his Almanacks on thin paper, as many families keep old editions in their privies.

In the 18th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Maskerade'', Goatberger makes a great deal of money from Nanny's book, and is surprised she wants some of it. He also appears in ''Nanny Ogg's Cookbook'', in a series of memos drawn to seem pinned to some pages. These form a discussion about the book between him and his head printer, Thomas Cropper. After a previous experience with Nanny Ogg's writing he wants to avoid innuendo, but is not entirely successful. His nephew has a similar exchange with Cropper in the pages of ''The Discworld Almanak''.

Goatberger's name is a play on Johannes Gutenberg, with his first initials deriving from a phrase referring to Jesus Christ.

Tolliver Groat

Tolliver Groat is one of the two remaining employees of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office prior to Moist von Lipwig being made Postmaster in the 33rd ''Discworld'' novel, ''Going Postal''. Tolliver is a "very old man" in a cheap (possibly sentient) wig; Groat had spent most of his career in the Post Office as a ''Junior Postman'', since until von Lipwig's arrival none of the other Postmasters appointed by Lord Vetinari had survived long enough to promote him. Groat does not trust doctors, which is understandable as he lives in Ankh-Morpork (see #Doughnut Jimmy), he instead treats himself with a variety of apparently dubious 'natural' home remedies, including concoctions made with sulfur or arsenic, and a poultice made of bread pudding.

Groat is a habitual speaker of Dimwell Arrhythmic rhyming slang, the only known rhyming slang in the universe that does not actually rhyme. Groat refers to his wig with, "It's all mine, you know, not a prunes", short for a "''syrup of prunes''" which in Dimwell slang means 'wig', in Cockney rhyming slang it's "'' syrup of figs''." Tolliver eventually achieves promotion to acting- Postmaster General as Moist moves on to assume control of the Royal Bank of Ankh Morpork.

Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan

Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan, the name says it all really, is an ex-opponent, rival and lover of Cohen. Too proud to be a seamstress, too intelligent to be a wife, Herrena took the only other profession then available for a woman with spirit and no discernible magical talent. Herenna is a barbarian heroine of the old school, alongside her compatriot Red Scharron, another heroine who might remind some of Red Sonja of Conan the Barbarian fame

Willie Hobson

Willie Hobson runs Hobson's Livery Stable, which stables, rents and sells horses. The Stables is a popular location for circumspect meetings. Hobson is a large man, who looks like a shaved bear, he has delivered his equine-brokering services to the great and good and others of Ankh Morpork.

Hobson's name may make one think of the real stable-owner, Thomas Hobson, best known as the name behind the expression Hobson's choice.

Hodgesaargh

Official falconer at Lancre Castle, Hodgesaargh is not his actual name, no one knows his given name as whenever Hodgesaargh introduces himself his birds attack him remorselessly. ("Hello, my name is Hodges...ARRRRRGH").

Hodgesaargh first appears in the 14th ''Discworld'' novel, Lords and Ladies, where he survives an elvish invasion of Lancre castle, thanks to the deadly nature of his birds. The official Lancre ceremonial outfit of red and gold with a big floppy hat is supplemented with about three plasters for him. One of the more famous birds he breeds is the ''Wowhawk'', or Lappet-faced Worrier, like a goshawk but being short-sighted, preferring to walk everywhere and faints at the sight of blood.

In '' Carpe Jugulum'' Hodgesaargh discovers a phoenix and becomes one of the few Discworld inhabitants to help Granny Weatherwax in a time of great need.

Hodgesaargh is based on a real-life keeper of birds of prey name
Dave Hodges
who lives in Northamptonshire, and is the author of ''The Arts of Falconrie and Hawking''.

Mr Hong

Mr Hong never appears in any of the books, having died before the start of any of the stories, but remains an important part of Ankh-Morpork's collective memory. Several times in the stories a character is admonished to "remember what happened to Mr Hong when he tried to open the Three Jolly Luck Takeaway Fish Bar on the site of the old fish god temple in Dagon Street on the night of a full moon and a lunar eclipse at the winter solstice." This incident acts as a deterrent for Morporkians against meddling too much with the occult or supernatural or doing something else that is just as stupid.

Though it is never satisfactorily explained what happened exactly, in '' Jingo'' it is revealed that only his kidney and a few bones were found.

Stanley Howler

Stanley Howler is one of the two remaining employees of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office prior to Moist von Lipwig being made Postmaster in the 18th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Going Postal''.

Raised by peas (no further explanation is given), Stanley has a tendency towards obsessive behaviour, coupled with violent incidents (his 'little moments') when under stress. He used to be one of the more obsessive of Ankh-Morpork's large number of pin collectors (called 'pinheads'), to the point that all the other collectors thought he was "a bit weird about pins". During ''Going Postal'', Stanley witnesses the destruction of his pin collection, which fortunately coincides with the invention of the postage stamp, to which he now redirects his obsessive behaviour by becoming a stamp collector and philatelist.

Stanley Howler may be connected to Roundwold history via Stanley Gibbons, a company which publishes catalogues of stamps for collectors; the howler is a type of monkey, belonging to the same simian family as the gibbon.

Hrun the Barbarian

In the first ''Discworld'' novel, ''The Colour of Magic'', Hrun appears as ''the'' archetypal fantasy barbarian hero of yore: hulking and muscle-bound yet slow-witted, battle-prone, alcoholic, and fond of virgins. Hrun stole his magical talking sword, ''Kring'', after a battle, but regrets it due to the sword's talkativeness.

Hrun meets Rincewind in the lair of Bel Shamharoth and helps him escape only to be caught by the Dragonriders of the Wyrmberg, led by the curvaceous Liessa Dragonbidder. Liessa needed Hrun to wrest rule of the Wyrmberg away from her undead father and powerful brothers so she could become queen. Hrun's payment would be her hand in marriage. Hrun successfully defeats Liessa's brothers with his bare hands and Liessa banishes them. Just as Liessa strips naked before Hrun to test his desire, Rincewind and Twoflower swoop in on a dragon and snatch Hrun flying away with him. Hrun is miffed at this but as Twoflower faints this causes the dragon to disappear which existed only through willpower. As all three passengers fall, Liessa catches Hrun with her own dragon flying back to the Wrymberg.

Hrun's name and physique may have some semblance of Thrud the Barbarian; also being from Chimeria, makes one think of Conan the Cimmerian.

Sergeant-Major Jack Jackrum

A character in the 31st ''Discworld'' novel, '' Monstrous Regiment'', Jack Jackrum is an immensely fat, hard-bitten Borogravian sergeant major with decades of military experience. He is known, either personally or by reputation, by practically every soldier in the Borogravian Army, and boasts that he is probably quite well known by the soldiers of the enemy armies too. Jackrum has, over the decades, been the sergeant in command of (or under) a number of young soldiers who then rose up to the Army's high command, and thus wields considerable influence. Such influence that Jackrum just about manages to stay one step ahead of his discharge papers which are constantly in pursuit of him via the army mail. Jackrum trains Polly Perks and the other recruits of the '' Monstrous Regiment'', and although is constantly threatening to put them all on a fizzer, he gradually earns the respect of all the recruits.

It is possible that there are elements of Jack Jackrum that were influenced by Terry Pratchett's close friend, Bernard Pearson.

Bloody Stupid Johnson

BS Johnson or Bergholdt Stuttley Johnson — better known by his epithet ''Bloody Stupid'' — is an inept engineer and landscape artist. Johnson's notoriety is founded from a single-minded approach to his craft, best described as 'demented'. BS Johnson created some of the Disc's most impressive, dangerous, and unusual works of architecture, art, and engineering: ''the Johnson Exploding Pagoda'' and a chiming sundial that explodes every other day around noon — this by-and-large is down to his blindness or lack of understanding of the fundamental units of measurement. His most famous housing project, ''Empirical Crescent'', tends to drive residents insane. BS Johnson lies at one end of a spectrum where people like Leonard of Quirm sit at the other end, on the Disc BS is well remembered and thankfully long-deceased.

Bergholdt Stuttley Johnson is the Disc's version of Capability Brown with a little Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

Kelirehenna, Princess/Queen of Sto Lat

'Kelirehenna' or Keli is the daughter of King Olerve the Bastard of the Sto Plains kingdom of Sto Lat, appearing in the fourth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Mort''. Keli stands between Duke of Sto Helit and the throne of Sto Lat. During an assassination organised by the Duke she is saved by Mort by dint of Mort being temporarily in Death's job being unwilling to let the assassin kill her. This leads to awkwardness as the universe thinks Keli is dead but she herself knows different. Keli's reality conflicts with the rest of the world, Keli enlists Ignius Cutwell, a local wizard to help her speedily through her coronation as Queen before the opposing reality enveloping Sto Lat collapses completely. Death himself returns to his old job to resolve issues caused in his absence.

Harry King

One of Ankh-Morpork's most successful businessmen, Mr Harry King first appears in the 25th ''Discworld'' novel, ''The Truth''. Harry's career in Ankh-Morpork started as a mudlark, he moved onwards and upwards from there. Harry's core business is 'night soil' removal but he is also does rubbish collection and recycling. Harry's basic philosophy is that there is nothing that someone will pay to have removed that someone else will not also pay to acquire. The sign outside the yard reads "''King of the Golden River, Recycling Nature's Bounty''." This replaced, at his wife's, Euphemia "Effie" King's ( a pet-name) insistence, the original: "''H King, taking the piss since 1961''." Harry King like most rich self-made men never forgets a debtor, and needs to take two baths just to elevate himself to the rank of dirty.

Harry keeps ferocious, ravenous guard dogs on his property, as when burglars break in, he does not have to feed the dogs. Eventually Harry King is knighted. After providing capital to build the "Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway" King is raised to the peerage, making his full title, Lord Sir Harry King.

"''King of the Golden River''," as well as referring to King's primary income may also refer to the classic fairy tale of 1842 written by John Ruskin, which was written for Euphemia 'Effie' Gray. King might also be analogous to the King of the Silver River fairy

Lavaeolus

The Discworld equivalent of Odysseus, Lavaeolus (meaning: ''Washer/Rinser of Winds'') has the finest military mind in Klatch and realised that if there must be war, the aim should be to defeat the enemy as quickly and with as little bloodshed as possible; a notion few other military minds have been able to grasp. Lavaeolus became a hero by ending the Tsortean Wars, bribing a cleaner to show him a secret passage into the citadel of Tsort. Lavaeolus then undergoes a long and perilous journey home after the war.

Dr John 'Mossy' Lawn

In a city full of quacks, Dr Lawn is one of the few skilled physicians and surgeons of Ankh-Morpork, he first appeared in the 29th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Night Watch'', as a backstreet ' pox doctor' to '' seamstresses''.

Dr Lawn trained in Klatch, where he learned techniques that other Morporkian surgeons distrust, but he keeps patients alive to pay the bill. He gave free treatment to those who needed it, including those who had been tortured by the Cable Street Particulars. Quiet, if a tad sarcastic, and almost unshockable, he deals with nursing staff by throwing a handful of chocolates one way and running in the other. Dr Lawn becomes the Chief Of Medicine at the newly built Lady Sybil Free Hospital, where he supervises the teaching of a new order of competent doctors. The Dr says that when he dies, he wants a bell on his gravestone so he can be free to not get up whenever people ring.

Dr Lawn may be based on an actual retired GP of the same name in West Yorkshire.

Lewton

Lewton appears in the third Discworld computer game, ''Discworld Noir''. Lewton was kicked out of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch for ''allegedly'' taking a bribe, and became the Disc's first and only private investigator to pay his massive drinks tab.

Lewton's takes on a case from Carlotta Von Uberwald which ultimately ends up with Lewton saving Ankh-Morpork from a giant god of destruction.

Liessa Dragonlady

Liessa Dragonlady, is the leader of the dragon-riders of the Wyrmberg and daughter of its lord, appearing in the first ''Discworld'' novel, ''The Colour of Magic''. Liessa is the archetypal fantasy barbarian woman, she has curves and chestnut-red hair, and wears almost nothing but a chain-mail harness.

After successfully poisoning her father, the traditional mode of transfer of power in her family, Liessa still cannot become Lord of the Wyrmberg as a woman and faces intense rivalry from her two brothers. However any man who she marries would become Lord of the Wyrmberg. Rincewind, Twoflower, and Hrun the Barbarian pass nearby. In Hrun, Liessa sees a strong but slow-witted warrior whom she can control, she tests him by trying to stab him in his sleep, but Hrun survives. Liessa convinces Hrun to defeat her brothers, whom she then banishes.

Trevor Likely

Trev is a worker at the Unseen University, tending to its candles, though his head is elsewhere, as he prefers to kick a tin can around, something at which he has gained an almost magical proficiency. Although seemingly destined for the game of football, Trev refuses to play, promising his Mum he wouldn't, after his father, the only player to score four goals in a career, died during a game. Encountering the beauiful football fan, Juliet Stollop changes his mind.

Lobsang Ludd

Appearing in the 26th ''Discworld'' novel, ''Thief of Time'', Lobsang Ludd was raised by the Ankh-Morpork Thieves' guild, but discovered by the History Monks after Lobsang instinctually performed the Stance of the Coyote, as he fell from a roof thus saving his own life from a fatal fall.

Lobsang is sent to the Temple of History monks to be educated. He confounds his teachers by knowing too much already without knowing how he knows it, and more than them. This leads Lobsang being apprenticed to Lu-Tze in the hope they would "break one another."

Lu-Tze theorises that time's hold on Lobsang was 'loose', allowing him to experience time differently from other humans. Lu-Tze and Lobsang travel to Ankh-Morpork to learn the Way of Mrs Cosmopilite. As they travel to Ankh-Morpork, Lobsang's soul-twin, Jeremy Clockson constructs a glass clock which will stop time. As time stops, Lobsang is able to still move, he meets and teams up with Susan Sto Helit to stop the Clock. Lobsang encounters Jeremy and they both realise they are the offspring of the personification of Time.

Lu-Tze

Lu-Tze first appears in the 13th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Small Gods''.

Lu-Tze (sometimes called by the nickname, ''Lousy'') is usually seen with a broom in hand, which he uses for his main activity, sweeping, as he travels the Disc making sure 'history happens the way it ought to.' Or the way he thinks it should go, just because. Lu-Tze is a 'sweeper' at the Monastery of Oi-Dong in the Ramtop mountains, the home of the History Monks, he did start off training to be a monk, but didn't finish and became a sweeper instead, listening to the teaching going on around him as swept the classrooms. Lu-Tze finds that sweeping practically makes people invisible and has learned much about the world as he moves through it, sweeping.

For times when sweeping isn't enough, he is a master of (the only one known) 'déjà fu', a martial art where the body moves in time as well as space. This has led to the rule, 'Rule One', which states "Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men", since such a person is almost always a highly trained martial artist due to the Disc's law of narrative causality. He is a devout follower of The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite, a way of moving through and accepting life of his own devising which he created after lodging with Mrs Cosmopilite in Ankh-Morpork. Lu-Tze utilises such fundamental axioms as 'If I've told you once I've told you a million times', 'Do you think I'm made of money?' And of course, 'Because.'

Lu-Tze is an allusion to the Chinese legendary philosopher Laozi, the sage to whom the ''Tao Te Ching'' is attributed. Lu-Tze is generally referred to just as 'Sweeper', in part a reference to Martin, the pessimist philosopher and sweeper in Voltaire's ''Candide''.

Miss Iodine Maccalariat

Miss Maccalariat is a receptionist in the 33rd ''Discworld'' novel, ''Going Postal'', whose voice is like that of the worst of schoolteachers.

Lord Mortimer, Duke of Sto Helit

Mortimer — shortened to ''Mort'' ('death' in French), similar to his once master Death — is the title character in the fourth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Mort''.

Nijel the Destroyer

Nijel the Destroyer, son of Harebut the Provision Merchant, is a would-be barbarian hero, appearing in the fifth ''Discworld'' novel '' Sourcery''. At six feet and 7 stone he is a clerk who desperately wants to be a barbarian hero and is currently half-way through a guide (''Inne Juste 7 Dayes I wille make you a Barbearian Hero'' by Cohen the barbarian) on the subject, which includes a table of wandering monsters.
Nijel wears the traditional hero loincloth supplemented with woollen long johns — his mother insisted. Nijel meets Rincewind in a snake pit and they escape together. Nijel meets and falls in love at first sight with Conina, which is reciprocated. Nijel triggers Conina's protective instinct which saves Nijel from his own lack of ability in his chosen career path.

Mightily Oats

Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om 'Mightily' Oats is an Omnian priest, appearing in the twenty-third ''Discworld'' novel '' Carpe Jugulum''. A recent graduate from theological college, he is summoned by Verence II and Queen Magrat of Lancre to officiate at the naming ceremony of their new-born daughter, a move which many Lancrastrians are sceptical of as they still view Omnians as torturous zealots. His most noticeable feature is a boil on the side of his nose. He is always in two minds about everything due to his consideration of the conflicting viewpoints of the schismatic sects of Omnianism, a trait which insulates him from the hypnotic powers of the Magpyr family during their attempted invasion of Lancre. He stays by Granny Weatherwax's side during their journey to Castle Magpyr as she endeavours to resist vampiric conversion, and he decapitates the Count Magpyr with an axe. After performing one last service in Lancre (largely attended by Nanny Ogg's relatives at her insistence), he is presented with an axe-shaped pendant by Verence (to replace the turtle pendant he lost during the invasion) and a poultice for his facial boil by boil by Agnes Nitt. In reaction to the Magpyr's speciesist campaign, Oats plans to travel to Überwald to pursue missionary work with the region's non-human sapient species.

Mightily Oats is mentioned in '' Unseen Academicals'' as having converted Mr Nutt, a mild-mannered intellectual orc, to Omnianism, and in '' Snuff'', Lord Vetinari reads a treatise written by Oats expounding the sapience of goblins and outlining their culture of Unggue.

Om

The Great God Om — ''holy horns'' — is the monotheistic God of the country of Omnia on the Circle Sea. Om manifests from the realm of the gods to Omnia to appear as a tortoise, where he spends some years forgetting he is a deity.

Olaf Quimby II

A past Patrician of Ankh-Morpork referred to in the second ''Discworld'' novel, '' The Light Fantastic'', Olaf Quimby was noted for his interest in honest and accurate descriptions as well as proper standards for everything, particularly metaphor. As Patrician, he used his power to enforce laws against creative exaggeration in writing. For example, no bard was allowed to say of a hero that "all men spoke of his prowess" on pain of death; he should instead add that some people spoke ill of the hero and that still others did not know of him at all. Similarly, the phrase "her face launched a thousand ships" could only be used to describe a beautiful woman if relevant shipyard records were produced or, failing that, evidence that the woman's face resembled a champagne bottle.

As far as standardisation was concerned, Quimby instituted the Ankh-Morpork Bureau of Measurements, in which is kept the standardized Blunt Stick (originally a Sharp one was on display as well, but very few things were found worse than a poke in the eye with it), the recipe for the Pie that It May be As Nice As, Two Short Planks, and the stone used in the original Moss-Gathering Trials. This Bureau is maintained by the current Patrician, Lord Havelock Vetinari, on the grounds that the sort of people whose minds work like this ought to be kept busy, or they might do ''anything''.

Quimby's reign ended when he was killed by a disgruntled poet during an experiment to test the truth of the saying " The pen is mightier than the sword". In his memory, it was amended to read: "The pen is mightier than the sword only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp".

It has been noted that many Ankh-Morporkians tend to have a certain literal mindedness. It is not known if this is the result of Quimby's rule, or simply a natural trait that reached its peak in him.

Rosemary Palm

Rosie Palm is the head of the Guild of 'Seamstresses' — actually prostitutes — first appearing in the eighth ''Discworld'' novel, ''Guards! Guards!'', though first mentioned of in the third ''Discworld'' novel, '' Equal Rites''.

Her establishment is used as a place to stay by Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg in ''Maskerade'' — on the recommendation of 'Nev' Ogg, though Granny Weatherwax had stayed at Mrs Palm's establishment previously with Esk in '' Equal Rites'' — as well as by Lance-Constable Carrot on first settling in Ankh-Morpork (in ''Guards! Guards!'').

Mrs Palm was considered almost a witch by Granny. Her character also appears in '' Night Watch'' in her younger days.

Her name is a play on the saying "a date with Rosie Palms," a slang term for masturbation.

Rosemary Palm is similar to real-life brothel owner, Lou Graham, whose employees were officially accredited as 'seamstresses'.

Polly Perks

Polly Perks is the protagonist in the 31st ''Discworld'' novel, '' Monstrous Regiment''. A Borogravian girl of 16 who joined the army under the name Oliver Perks in order to rescue her brother Paul and save her family's inn. She chose her false name, Oliver, because it corresponded with the folksong " Sweet Polly Oliver", which is about a girl running off to join the army. As a member of the Cheesemongers, Private 'Ozzer' Perks serves with the colourful Sergeant-Major Jack Jackrum, a reformed vampire named Maladict, a troll called Carborundum, an Igor, and a few even stranger people, who are, in fact, all women in disguise.

By the end of the book, Polly becomes a seasoned soldier, and it turns out, not the important one in the unit. At the end of the book, Polly leaves the army, but rejoins as a sergeant when Borogravia is invaded again.

Walter Plinge

Walter Plinge, an odd-job man at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House, an awkward nervy figure in a beret who has an ''Opera Ghost'' alter-ego. Agnes Nitt helps him combine the aspects of his personality and become the director of music. Walter writes popular operas "with tunes you can hum" and might resemble Frank Spencer of the BBC television comedy ''Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em''. Michael Crawford, the original performer of the eponymous character in '' Phantom of the Opera'', plays Spencer.

Mr Pin

Mr Pin is the brains of the New Firm, with Mr Tulip's brawn, a duo of interloping criminals in ''The Truth'' freshly arrived in Ankh-Morpork. In general Mr Pin makes the plans and decides where they are going to go and what they are going to do, but he is open to suggestions from his partner. Both men can become violent, but Mr Pin's violence is more directed and instrumental. The background of Mr Pin is much more vague than his partner, Mr Tulip.

After having an iconograph taken of him by Otto Chriek using dark light (light on the opposite side of darkness), Mr Pin experiences guilt and extreme paranoia for the various crimes committed by the New Firm. He comes to a rather sticky end when he is impaled by the desk spike of William de Worde in the offices of The Ankh-Morpork Times after being trapped in a cellar with molten lead raining from the ceiling as the building burned, killing Mr Tulip to use his body as a raft and to steal his potato (which he believed granted its possessor a path to reincarnation). Mr Pin is then reincarnated into a potato resembling his face in a look of surprise, which is chipped and deep fried.

Mr Pin and Mr Tulip are very similar in many respects to Messrs Croup and Vandemar, a violent duo in ''Neverwhere'', written by Neil Gaiman. The two authors have collaborated before in '' Good Omens'', and sometimes make reference to each other's works. However, Pratchett has denied any conscious reference in this case.

Pteppicymon XXVIII (Teppic)

His Greatness the King Teppicymon XXVIII, Lord of the Heavens, Charioteer of the Wagon of the Sun, Steersman of the Barque of the Sun, Guardian of the Secret Knowledge, Lord of the Horizon, Keeper of the Way, the Flail of Mercy, the High-Born One, the Never-Dying King of Djelibeybi — lit. 'Child of the Djel', the Disc's version of Egypt — is the protagonist of the seventh Discworld novel, ''Pyramids''.

Teppic, as a young prince, is the first king to leave the kingdom, where he was trained at the Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild. He passed his final exam by a fluke, having already decided he was not going to kill anyone.

His cosmopolitan nature clashed with the hidebound traditions of the ancient kingdom and the even more hidebound high priest Dios, and after saving Djelibeybi from destruction and shaking up its traditions, he abdicated, leaving the throne to his half-sister Ptraci I.

Ptraci I

Queen Ptraci I of Djelibeybi is Teppic's half-sister and successor. A former handmaiden and favourite of her father, she was originally condemned to death for not voluntarily dying in order to serve the previous king in the afterlife — effectively on Dios's orders as Teppic wished to grant her clemency.

The Djelibeybian priests thought she would be easy to control as the new queen. They turned out to be very wrong. Like her half-brother she is keen to get in some decent plumbing. She appears in ''Pyramids''; by the end of the novel she is enthusiastically embracing many of the stranger regimens, such as bathing in ass's milk, favoured by Cleopatra.

Mustrum Ridcully

Mustrum Ridcully is the current archchancellor, assumed the post in '' Moving Pictures'' and held it for the rest of the novels. Unlike his predecessors, Ridcully seems to have had a very successful and, above all, injury-free career as Archchancellor. He finally put a halt to the traditional method of promotion simply by being indestructible. This is related to his habit of springing up behind would-be assassins, shouting loudly at them and banging their head repeatedly in the door. He is also known as Ridcully the Brown (a possible reference to ' Radagast the Brown' from Lord of the Rings).

When he became archchancellor, he had not been seen at the university for forty years. Having become a Seventh Level Wizard at the exceptionally young age of twenty-seven, he left to look after his family's land. He loves hunting, owns several crossbows and is much given to using the corridors of Unseen University as a shooting range. He was a Rowing Brown for the university in his youth (a parodic reference to the Blue at Oxford and Cambridge Universities).

Since wizards traditionally favour sports such as Competitive Eating and Extreme Napping, other wizards find him very tiring to be around. He is not stupid but finds it very difficult to deal with unexpected information. He generally ignores it until it goes away or becomes someone else's problem. He holds the view that if someone is still trying to explain something to him after about two minutes, it must be worth listening to and if they give up earlier, it was not worth bothering him with in the first place.

Ridcully showed the occasional flash of magical skill. In ''Moving Pictures'', the Bursar was surprised to discover Ridcully's adeptness at using a magic mirror, which, like most Discworld scrying devices, is hard to steer. In ''Soul Music'' Ridcully improvises, at short notice and with minimal assistance, a slimmed-down version of the rite of AshkEnte to summon Death (though what he got was Susan, Death's granddaughter – not because the Rite was less effective, however; the plot of the novel was to do with Susan taking over Death's job). It is also implied that he has some degree of practical magic knowledge – instead of using a 'thaumometer' (a device that gives a numerical measurement of a magic field's strength), he licks a finger and notes the colour and size of the small spark it gives off in the air ('' The Last Continent''). He also tends to be more practical than most of his fellow wizards such as when he revives Mr Teatime by the expedient action of hitting him on the chest before any of his fellow wizards could whip up a spell.

He gets on best with Ponder Stibbons. He never seems to understand what Ponder is saying and Ponder never expects him to, but the young man is at least doing ''something'', more than can be said for the others. He is also quite fond of the Librarian, dismissing a rather snide question about whether it's appropriate for UU's librarian to be an ape with the response, "''... he's the only one of you buggers who's awake more'n an hour a day''". He also gets along with Watch Commander Samuel Vimes, despite the latter's legendary dislike of magic, as they share the belief that the most important thing about magic is knowing when not to use it.

His father was a butcher ('' Unseen Academicals)'' and his brother is Hughnon Ridcully, High Priest of Blind Io and Ankh-Morpork's religious spokesman. While priests and wizards are traditionally at odds due to philosophical differences, neither Ridcully is of a particularly philosophical frame of mind and they tend to ignore this.

In '' Lords and Ladies'' we learn he had a relationship with a young Esme Weatherwax, some fifty years before he become Archchancellor. The book suggests that in one of the many parallel universes adjacent to the one on which the Discworld novels take place, Ridcully and Esme Weatherwax are married and have children; though it also implies that they were all probably killed by the Queen of the Elves. He is deeply affected by her death (''The Shepherd's Crown'').

In the Cosgrove Hall animation of ''Soul Music'' he was voiced by Graham Crowden. In 2007's mini-series adaptation of ''Hogfather'' he was played by Joss Ackland and in the 2010 adaptation of ''Going Postal'' he was portrayed by Timothy West.

Ronald Rust

Lord Rust is an Ankh-Morpork nobleman who first appears in 15th Discworld novel, '' Men At Arms'', in which he is one of the nobles who does not take seriously d'Eath's proposal of restoring the Ankh-Morpork monarchy by installing Captain Carrot as King. In this novel he seems to have keen political instincts; it is stated that the Rusts have survived by not being romantic.

Lord Rust makes more sizeable appearances in '' Jingo'' and '' Night Watch'', wherein he appears over-bred and arrogant; a brief subsequent appearance in '' Monstrous Regiment'' suggests he still has some of the intelligence of his earlier portrayal. Lord Rust's most defining characteristic, along with his arrogance, is his unsurpassed military and strategic incompetence (or, at least, his ability to achieve goals only by simultaneously sustaining devastating losses); he is described as operating on the theory that a battle was a glorious victory if enemy casualties outnumber friendly casualties, coupled with the inexplicable ability to be repeatedly chosen to command large armies and similar organizations, hence his description as "The god's gift to the enemy, any enemy, and a walking advertisement for desertion." He is ridiculously brave, often simply charging while the weapons just miss him, every time. Also notable is his method of dealing with unpleasant occurrences. He simply mentally edits them out. In '' Snuff'', he is portrayed as an elderly man in a wheelchair, with a sunken look. His son, Gravid, is an entrepreneur involved in a scheme in which goblins are captured in the Shires (a border region between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm) and enslaved on Howondaland tobacco plantations with the resultant cigars and snuff (as well as assorted troll narcotics) being smuggled into Ankh-Morpork; after this was discovered, Gravid is disinherited and exiled to Fourecks.

Mr Salzella

Salzella is the Director of Music at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House in ''Maskerade'', most notable for an absolute hatred of opera. He embezzles money and murders the people who find out, blaming the murders on the Opera Ghost.

Salzella is eventually found out and proves to be just as 'infected' with operatic romanticism as everyone else in the building. Due to the Discworld's rather literal adherence to the laws of narrative convention, this is not an entirely mental issue: he is killed in an extremely operatic duel with the Ghost and spends two pages on a final monologue before keeling over. He only had a sword theatrically thrust under his armpit, but, according to the witches present, failed to notice this.

Ella Saturday

Ella is the daughter of Baron Saturday of Genua and Mrs Erzulie Gogol. She appears in the twelfth ''Discworld'' novel, ''Witches Abroad'', as an attractive young woman with brown skin and blonde hair, but no knowledge of her origins. Her entire life has been controlled by her fairy godmother, Lady Lilith de Tempscire, to ensure that she marries Lady Lilith's pawn, the Duc (pronounced 'duck') (actually a frog). She spends much of her time in the palace kitchens, apparently because she enjoys being helpful, rather than because she is mistreated. Because she helps lay the fires, the palace cook nicknamed her ''Embers'' (she is, of course, the Discworld version of ''Cinderella'', although the full nickname ''Emberella'' is referred to as sounding "like something you'd put up in the rain"). At the end of ''Witches Abroad'', she became the Baroness of Genua.

Ronald Saveloy

Ronald Saveloy is a member of Cohen the Barbarian's Silver Horde. He appears in the seventeenth ''Discworld'' novel '' Interesting Times''. Unlike the elderly warriors that comprise the Horde, Saveloy is a former teacher from Ankh-Morpork. After discovering the Horde at a hideout of theirs whilst on a fossil hunting holiday, Saveloy joins them partly due to the underwhelming prospects of his academic career. Maintaining his mild-mannered demeanour including a vegetarian diet, he endeavours to civilise the barbarians. This extends to the Horde's plan to install Cohen as the Agatean Emperor, in effect "stealing the empire", by infiltrating the Forbidden City in Hunghung, engaging in subterfuge and distraction, and exiling the Emperor (capitalising of the fact that most Agateans have never seen the Emperor's face). Frustrated that most of the barbarians would rather ransack and pillage the Palace (who had been unaware that the conquest was meant to serve as a sort of retirement plan) and that the Five Noble Families are willing to engage the Horde in open warfare for the throne, Saveloy reveals his ulterior motive: he wanted to give the Horde a tangible legacy since most of their past exploits of slaying mythical creatures, robbing temples and saving maidens had led to the common belief that they were not real. During the war between the Horde and the armies of the Five Families, Saveloy embraces barbarism, adopting berserker-style fighting techniques. Along with the villainous Grand Vizier Lord Hong, Saveloy is killed by a lit cannon as it is teleported back by the faculty of Unseen University to counterbalance the teleportation of Rincewind; as the Horde consider how to honour Saveloy's barbarism in death, his soul is ferried by Death to the warrior's afterlife, where he considers the prospect of teaching evening classes and enquires about vegetarian options at the feasts.

Mr Slant

Mr Slant is the president of the Guild of Lawyers, a position that he has held for a long time owing to his being a zombie. He is also one of the three founding and senior partners of ''Morecombe, Slant, & Honeyplace'', Ankh Morpork's leading legal practice. Considering that Mr Slant is a zombie and that Mr Morecombe and Honeyplace are both vampires, they are old enough to have been around when many laws were first written up. Promotion is also an unlikely prospect in the firm. He is the undisputed head of any legal action in the city and is one of the major members of the civil council. But Mr Slant has also been involved in more sinister affairs. He has attempted to aid in deposing Lord Vetinari from power several times, but only through serving other clients and not from an actual desire of his own to depose of Vetinari.

He became a zombie after having been convicted of a crime and decapitated but, since he defended himself, refuses to pass on until his descendants pay the legal fees.

Eskarina Smith

Esk is a trainee witch and the first female wizard.

Bel Shamharoth

Bel Shamharoth is a chthonic god of the Underworld and the ''Dungeon Dimensions'' of Discworld who is drawn — with extra tentacles — greatly from the works of HP Lovecraft and is encountered in the first ''Discworld'' novel, ''The Colour of Magic''.

Lord Snapcase

The Patrician who came to power after Lord Winder following the Glorious Revolution of the Twenty-Fifth of May. Also known as Mad or Psychoneurotic Lord Snapcase. During his reign, he was considered "eccentric" rather than mad by the upper classes, but he is now known by most Morporkians, including the nobles, as the Mad Lord. He was sadistic, and extremely fond of torture, much like his predecessor.

Lord Snapcase was succeeded by Lord Havelock Vetinari. There are very few historical records of Lord Snapcase's tyranny. This may be because of Snapcase's mental disorder, which caused him to be very secretive while trying to spy on everyone else.

His obsession with his own security left him no time to govern or affect history. His one recorded act (''The Colour of Magic'') was to direct the Assassins' Guild to "inhume" the tourist Twoflower at the request of the Grand Vizier of the Agatean Empire, contrary to the orders of the Emperor; the attempt failed. In ''Men at Arms'', he was mentioned as having a cruet set designed by "Bloody Stupid" Johnson (where, due to Johnson's ineptitude with geometry meant that they are used as storage silos), and in ''Feet of Clay'', he was mentioned to have made his horse a city councillor.

Wallace Sonky

Wallace Sonky, an Ankh-Morpork tradesman who owns ''Sonky's Rubber Goods'', and makes ''Sonky's Preventatives''. His "sonkies", as they are known, sell for a penny a packet. Vimes considers him a saint, because without Sonky, the overpopulation and housing problems in Ankh-Morpork would be even more dire.

He manufactures a replica of the Scone of Stone in '' The Fifth Elephant'' then dies in an industrial accident. He is known to have had a brother in Überwald and appears briefly in '' Night Watch''.

Ponder Stibbons

Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic, Praelector and Reader in Invisible Writings, the Master of Traditions, the Camerlengo of Unseen University, and, among yet other positions, keeper of Hex, the university's computer, Ponder Stibbons fulfills the role of the one person in the organisation who knows what's going on.

Originally portrayed as an obsessive geeky student who passed the university's graduation exam because he was allowed to take the test paper of the absent slacker genius, Victor Tugelbend, — which consisted solely of the question "What is your name?" — after a mishap with his own, he would become the head of the students whose experiments with High-Energy Magic would lead to the creation of Hex, and eventually a member of the Faculty where the more senior members generally treat him as the odd-jobs man. Of course, at this point he's effectively the only person who can get anything done (often without the consent of the other Faculty members) and the right-hand man of Archchancellor Ridcully.

In ''The Science of Discworld'', Stibbons led the project to "split the thaum" (the magical equivalent of the atom). It is revealed in '' Unseen Academicals'' that, due to the number of positions he holds — because somebody has to — Stibbons has accumulated sufficient votes to technically control the University Council — causing the Archchancellor to remark "Didn't anyone notice you were getting all this power?" His entry in ''The New Discworld Companion'' states:
"originally rather lazy by nature, he seems to have blossomed to become the youngest and most depressingly keen member of the faculty ... as one of the few wizards at the University with his head screwed on in any fashion, he appears, quite against his will, to be in the front line."

He doesn't support the theory of a beard as a sign of knowledge because he has been unable to grow one himself. In the film version of ''Hogfather'' he is portrayed by Ed Coleman.

Juliet Stollop

In the 37th ''Discworld'' novel, Unseen Academicals, Juliet Stollop is stunningly beautiful and utterly empty-headed. She becomes a society sensation overnight as a supermodel.

A scion of a family of football hooligans, she falls in love with Trevor Likely — a Likely Lad — who supports an opposing team. Eventually, Trev joins a newly formed footballing league, and Juliet embarks on a new life as a wag and fashion model.

Corporal Strappi

Corporal Strappi is a character in '' Monstrous Regiment'', a thin, shouty soldier who loves to terrorize new recruits. Partway through the book he disappears with a lot of the Regiments's personal possessions. Sergeant Jackrum correctly suspects that Corporal Strappi is not what he seems; the end of ''Monstrous Regiment'' reveals him as a 'political', an officer who informs on other soldiers, who holds the rank of Captain.

Susan Sto Helit

Susan is the Duchess of Sto Helit and the granddaughter of Death.

Glenda Sugarbean

Glenda is a somewhat plump, over-breasted girl who runs the Night Kitchen in the Unseen University until the events of the 37th ''Discworld'' novel, '' Unseen Academicals''. She is the granddaughter of the chief cook at the Assassin's Guild, from whom she has inherited a large number of secret recipes.

Having spent most of her life forced to do other people's thinking for them, she is overwhelmed with uncertainty when her dim-witted best friend, Juliet, suddenly has the opportunity to be a supermodel. Initially cautious, she eventually relents and allows Juliet to follow her dream.In a similar vein, against her own better judgment, she allows herself to be swept off her feet by an unlikely romance with a savant orc, Mr Nutt, and eventually goes off on an adventure with him to Uberwald.

Captain Findthee Swing

Captain Swing is the head of the Unmentionables in the Ankh-Morpork of the past of '' Night Watch''. Swing attempted to control crime by ordering all weapons confiscated, reasoning a decline in crime figures would follow, but failed to acknowledge that criminals do not obey the law and greatly enjoy a lack of weapons in a society.

He is described as a thin, balding man in a long, old-fashioned black coat with large pockets who supports himself on an opera cane, in reality a poorly concealed swordstick. Swing moves and speaks in an erratic, jumpy fashion, in bursts and sputters rather than a continuous flow of movement or sound. He is, however, a skilled swordsman, who does not resort to flashy swashbuckling, but actually attacks his opponent.

Swing carries with him a large set of calipers and a steel ruler, to measure the facial characteristics of those he meets, to determine their personal traits (phrenology). The reliability of the paradigm is questionable; it says that Vimes has the eye of a mass murderer (Vimes says he indeed does... in his other suit).

Vimes kills him during the fire at the Unmentionables' headquarters. He tries to apply phrenology to determine Death's character, but finds that Death has no characteristics he can measure.

The name Captain Swing has long been associated with civil unrest, being the pseudonym of the (possibly mythical) leader of the Swing Riots.

Tacticus

General Callus Tacticus was a soldier of the Ankh-Morpork Empire, and is widely proclaimed to be the greatest general of all time. In fact, on the Discworld the word 'tactics' was derived from his name. He has been dead for nearly 2000 years by the start of the ''Discworld'' series. In '' Jingo'' his name is given as Gen. A. Tacticus. In '' Wintersmith'', however, his first name is given as Callus.

Tacticus conquered a large area of the Discworld, both around the city of Ankh-Morpork and well into the rimward continent of Klatch. The ruined fortress city of Tacticum, located in the Klatchian desert, is encountered in ''Jingo''. Since his campaigns were as expensive as they were effective, the rulers of Ankh-Morpork tried to get rid of Tacticus in a respectful and appropriate way. When at one point the far-flung city of Genua, whose royal family had interbred itself into extinction (the last king having tried to continue the royal bloodline with himself), asked Ankh-Morpork for a Duke, Tacticus was promoted and sent there. Immediately upon becoming a Genuan citizen, he evaluated the question of the greatest military threat posed by any single other nation. Tacticus therefore declared war on Ankh-Morpork, which (it is implied) was the reason why Ankh-Morpork lost its large empire.

When Vimes got a copy of Tacticus' autobiography from the Librarian, he formulated a characteristically cynical opinion as to why Tacticus, although respected, was not much liked by history: Tacticus did not get a huge number of his men killed by his own arrogance and incompetence. Snippets of Tacticus' advice turns up in various Discworld chronicles, and it can be gathered that he was a very realistic, down-to-earth general. For example, the section of his autobiography entitled "What to Do When One Army Occupies a Well-Fortified Fortress on Superior Ground and the Other Does Not" begins with the sentence "Endeavour to be the one inside." Another good example of Tacticus' sense of pragmatism would be his maxim "It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country. This means that both he and you have exactly the same aim in mind."

Tawneee

Tawneee (pronounced with each " e" as a separate syllable) is an exotic dancer, introduced in '' Thud!'' Tawneee is, in fact, merely her stage name; her real name is Betty. She is Nobby Nobbs's girlfriend for most of the book; they met when Nobby caught her eye while slipping an IOU into her garter belt. The fact that she is Nobby's girlfriend is somewhat shocking considering his barely human appearance and her incredibly stunning good looks. However, her looks make her unapproachable, as all men have considered her out of their league; Nobby only asked because he was so used to rejection he would have simply regarded it as just another day. Despite her profession, she is as humble as a caterpillar, and has about as much brains. She was completely innocent about sex, and was completely unaware that her job could be considered "acting like a floozy"; in the end, Angua and Sally explain the facts of, well, everything. Meanwhile, Nobby considers letting her down gently because she did not know her way around a kitchen.

Jonathan Teatime

Jonathan Teatime — the surname pronounced: ''tee-ah-tim-ee'' — is an assassin of singular ability, for which he gained a scholarship to become a student at the Assassins' Guild of Ankh-Morpork to develop these skills, who is considered peculiar and induces discomfort in his contemporaries at the Guild. He has a reputation for ruthlessness and creative solutions with the singular ability of being able to conceive of ways of inhuming or killing immortal and deathless beings, such as spirits and deities.

In the 20th Discworld novel, ''Hogfather'', he is recruited by the Auditors of Reality to inhume or assassinate the Hogfather — the Spirit of Hogswatchnight — who represents the last day of the Discworld's year and the coming of the New Year.

Eric Thursley

A thirteen-year-old demonologist and the title character in the ninth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Faust Eric'', where he lives at 13 Midden Lane, Pseudopolis. Eric inherited most of his demonology books and paraphernalia — as well as a talking parrot — from his grandfather. His parents, apparently convinced he was destined to become a gifted demonologist, allowed him free rein over his grandfather's workshop. Eric was relatively unsuccessful as a demonologist until — and with some unknown assistance, he becomes an unwitting pawn in a demonic plot to overthrow the King of Hell — he manages to summon Rincewind from the Dungeon Dimensions while trying to summon a demon to grant him wishes: mastery of the kingdoms of the world, to meet the most beautiful woman who ever lived, to live forever, and a large chest of gold. These wishes are granted in a journey across Time to the Tezumen Empire, the Tsortean War, and the beginning of the universe, albeit as forms of ironic punishment. Eric was last seen escaping from Hell with Rincewind.

Daniel "One Drop" Trooper

The Ankh-Morpork official Hangman and executioner, Trooper specialises in Death by Hanging; his skill with a noose allows him to simulate an execution but leave the victim alive, as he did with Moist von Lipwig at the behest of Lord Vetinari. He supplements his official stipend, and plans for his retirement, by selling short lengths of the hanging ropes used in particularly interesting cases — such as the " Albert Spangler" execution — often signed by the victims themselves. Mr Trooper believes his work deters crime, since he never sees criminals more than once.

Victor Tugelbend

Student wizard turned actor, and protagonist of ''Moving Pictures''. Victor's uncle left a legacy to pay for Victor's tuition at Unseen University, provided that Victor never scored below an 80 on an exam. Victor, however, decided that being a student wizard was greatly preferable to being a wizard, because as a student he could live a relatively safe and comfortable lifestyle while as a wizard he would face the risk of assassinations by students wishing to advance. Therefore, Victor studied extremely hard and, when finals came around each year, carefully and competently scored an 84; four points above the minimum to continue receiving the legacy, but four points below the passing grade of 88 (On one occasion he actually passed by accident, but appealed against it on the grounds that he felt he'd failed to pay adequate attention to some details and he would not feel right to pass over the more eligible candidates; he subsequently only received an 82 and an 83 in the later exams as he was trying to be careful). Eventually this caught the attention of the Bursar, who arranged for Victor to receive a special test consisting of only one question: "What is your name?" By this time, however, Victor had left Unseen University to become an actor in Holy Wood, under the stage name Victor Maraschino, and the test paper in question was, instead, received by accident by Ponder Stibbons. Victor films several movies with Ginger Withel (aka Delores De Syn), and eventually uses the magic of Holy Wood to defeat the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions with Ginger's help. Victor has not reappeared in any subsequent Discworld books.

Victor is also notable for being actively lazy; he kept himself fit because it was less effort to do things with decent muscles, and put a lot of work into avoiding work (as his University career illustrates). He was looking for a job that was romantic, but did not involve hard work, which Holy Wood provided. In "Moving Pictures", a summary given about him is a reference to Fred Astaire.

His stage name of Victor Maraschino seems a reference to Rudolph Valentino, given Victor's sex symbol roles as well as his ‘smoldering’ gaze onscreen, said to cause women to faint.

Mr Tulip

Mr Tulip is, along with Mr Pin, a member of the New Firm, a duo of interloping criminals in ''The Truth''. He is something of a contradiction: a remorseless killer with the refined soul of a true fine-art connoisseur. He is differentiated from a common criminal by his habit of removing works of art from houses before committing arson, the ability to distinguish between priceless works of art and common forgeries, an encyclopaedic knowledge of hundreds of years of great artists and artisans and their works, and a refusal to use any artworks as blunt weapons or to profit from their ultimate destruction. He would not, for example, use a candlestick to knock someone out cold or steal it for its silver content. He is the muscle of the New Firm and, though an instinctive killer, recognises Mr Pin's cognitive skills and leaves the thinking to him. He also suffers a mild speech impediment, continually causing him to insert "—ing" mid-sentence, (the suffix of an action verb without the verb itself), that appears to be in lieu of swearing, but is a mocking dig at censorship. His primary skill in the New Firm is the application of his apparently unlimited supply of unspecific anger; Tulip has turned mindless violence into an art form.

Mr Tulip has a tendency to buy and consume anything sold in little bags in an attempt to acquire drugs. These tend to be rather common inert items such as chalk, pickles, and corned-beef sandwiches. The few times he's actually acquired real narcotics, they have been suitable only for trolls.

It is hinted that Mr Tulip's past was dark and fearful, a place that even Mr Tulip is afraid to remember. The place where he lived had been in the middle of a war zone. At the last, even their own soldiers were killing farmers, desperate to find any food.

He also has a superstition that those who die while holding a potato will be reincarnated. This belief, which is quite firm, is based on hearing his grandmother saying, during a famine, "You will be alright if you have your potato." He is killed by Mr Pin near the end of the novel and used for a life raft as molten lead flows around the pair. Unfortunately, Mr Pin also steals his potato shortly before killing him, but Mr Tulip manages to retain the memory of a potato in the afterlife. Death, perplexed at the concept of a soul having a strong but completely vague belief, allows him to reincarnate as a woodworm. His final thought in the novel is, 'This is —ing good wood!"

Twoflower

Twoflower is a native of the Agatean Empire, on the Counterweight Continent, living in the major sea port of Bes Pelargic where he works as an " inn-sewer-ants" clerk where he calculates the level of insurance premiums. The first tourist ever on the Discworld, he wrote "What I did on my Holidays" after his return to the Empire.

He is described as having ''four eyes'' by a beggar at the docks early in the events in first Discworld novel, ''The Colour of Magic'', who "found himself looking up into a face with four eyes", implying he actually wears glasses, although Josh Kirby's dust jacket illustrations for ''The Colour of Magic'' and '' The Light Fantastic'' shows him with four eyes. He also wears dentures, a concept that inspires Cohen the Barbarian to have a set made for himself made out of trolls' teeth, which are made of diamond.

His adventures begin in ''The Colour of Magic'', when he decides to visit the city of Ankh-Morpork, where he meets the inept wizard Rincewind whom he hires as a guide. Throughout the first two novels, he is followed by the Luggage, a homicidally vicious travel chest which moves on hundreds of little legs, carrying his belongings.

Twoflower is an ever optimistic, but naïve tourist. He often runs into danger, being certain that nothing bad will happen to him since he is not involved. He also believes in the fundamental goodness of human nature and that all problems can be resolved, if all parties show good will and cooperate. Rincewind, of course, remains immovably convinced that Twoflower's IQ is comparable to that of a pigeon. He has no understanding of the Agatean/Ankh-Morpork currency exchange rate and often overpays, primarily because even the smallest denomination of Agatean coin is made of pure gold, and, thus, often pays for small items and minor services with enough wealth to buy a sizable fraction of the city. However, he introduces the concept of insurance to Ankh-Morpork (in particular to the landlord of ''the Broken Drum'', which would prove fortunate as the city and tavern were both consumed by flame — albeit not entirely by accident — the policy allowed ''the Broken Drum'' to be rebuilt as ''the Mended Drum''.

Twoflower also has a rich imagination as he is able to summon a dragon through his mind. The dragon, which he calls "Ninereeds" after his unimaginative master when he was apprenticed as a clerk, is very obedient to him. With the help of Ninereeds, he rescues Rincewind and escapes the Wyrmberg.

The book relating his journey across the Discworld is considered a revolutionary pamphlet in his native land as it is traditionally believed (and officially decreed) that the world outside of the Empire is a hellish wasteland populated by "bloodsucking vampire ghosts", resulting in him being imprisoned in the Forbidden City. It is revealed that he is a father and a widower; his wife died after tax collectors attacked Bes Pelargic, with his recollections of the event being the only times he has displayed anger. He attempts to avenge her by challenging the Grand Vizier Lord Hong to a duel. At the end of the novel '' Interesting Times'' he was promoted to the rank of Grand Vizier of the Empire, under Emperor Cohen. It is not known if he still holds the position following Cohen's disappearance (as told in '' The Last Hero'') but the ''Discworld Atlas'' states that the Agatean Empire has, in that time, become the 'People's Beneficial Republic of Agatea', headed by a chairman.

He appears in the books ''The Colour of Magic'', '' The Light Fantastic'' and '' Interesting Times'' and in the computer game ''NetHack'' as the quest leader for the tourist class. He is played by Sean Astin (alongside David Jason as Rincewind) in the two-part television adaptation.

Verence II of Lancre

King Verence II of Lancre first appears in the sixth novel of the series, '' Wyrd Sisters'', as the court jester of the monarch of Lancre, Duke Felmet. He was previously the Fool to King Verence I, as his father and grandfather were before him. Over the course of the book, the Fool meets and falls in love with Magrat Garlick and stands up to the Duke, admitting he saw the murder of Verence I. At the end of the book Verence I's hidden heir, Tomjon, rejects the throne. Nanny Ogg then tells everyone that the Fool is Tomjon's older half-brother. It is assumed that this means he is the son of the elder Fool's wife and Verence I, and he is duly crowned Verence II. However, given how well the Queen got on with the elder Fool, there is another interpretation.

In '' Lords and Ladies'' Verence and Magrat finally marry. Verence had gone through much of the story subtly trying to deal with a major problem, namely that he was not quite sure how to actually consummate the marriage. He ordered a book on the subject ("The one with the woodcuts,") from Ankh-Morpork, only to discover (in what would have otherwise been a horribly embarrassing scene) that he'd been mistakenly sent a book on MARTIAL Arts instead (he quickly recovers from the shock and presents the book to Shawn Ogg, the castle's only guard, as if that had been his intention all along). Near the end, he consults with Casanunda, a 'ladies man' dwarf that had assisted in the defense of the kingdom. In '' Carpe Jugulum'' they have a daughter; Princess Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre.

Verence II is a very well-meaning king, who takes running a kingdom very seriously (he takes most things seriously, having learnt at a very early age that being a Fool was no laughing matter), but things seldom turn out the way he might want. The most noticeable results of his attempts at modernising the kingdom have been a Parliament that no-one attends and an invasion of vampires due to a diplomatic gaffe. It has been suggested that while his subjects appreciate his attempts to make life better, they would really prefer a king who orders them around and carouses a lot because they would know their place under such rule.

Verence was voiced by Andrew Branch in the BBC Radio 4 adaptation of ''Wyrd Sisters'', and by Les Dennis in the Cosgrove Hall animation.

Vorbis

The antagonist of the 13th Discworld novel, '' Small Gods'', Vorbis is the Head of the Omnian Quisition, an exquisitor who believes he is destined to become the Cenobiarch and Eighth Prophet of Omnianism, as the Great God Om has told him. However the Great God Om grows weak from the waning of belief in him, and now only the truly faithful Brutha can hear him. Vorbis plans a bloody holy war for the glory of Om on Klatch, so has orchestrated the conquest and annexation of Ephebe with the death of missionary Brother Murduck as a ''casus belli'', and has caches of water already set up in the desert to allow the Omnian ''Divine Legion'' to invade Ephebe from this unexpected direction of the undefended.

Vorbis justifies his actions as guided by dogma and 'fundamental truth'. Brother Murduck was killed by Ephebeans unwilling to convert, he says, expressing immovable unfounded beliefs: that the Discworld is a perfect sphere, for example, and that steam-powered machines cannot exist since they do not have minds or muscles.

Sergeant Simony follows Brutha and Om through a storm with the philosopher Didactylos and his apprentice and nephew Urn. Brutha and Om find a catatonic Vorbis washed up on a desert shore and carry him back to Omnia to tell everyone what he has done, even though Om keeps saying that Vorbis is a burden who does not deserve to be saved. Once they are within sight of the citadel, Vorbis knocks Brutha unconscious, and abducting him, returns to the Citadel to be ordained as the Eighth Prophet. Vorbis tells everybody he led Brutha through the desert; Brutha questions this but Vorbis states a 'fundamentally truth' he led Brutha through a 'desert of the soul'.

Vorbis commissions a heatable iron turtle for the instruction of those who question the shape of the world, then sentences Brutha to be tortured upon it for disrupting his ordination. Vorbis reveals to Brutha in a private conversation that he does not truly believe in Om. Men, not Om, create the Church and its empire, Vorbis states.

Om falls from an eagle's claws crashing through Vorbis's head killing him outright. Before Death, to his horror Vorbis learns that what he had thought was the voice of Om was just his own voice echoing in his head, plunging him into despair.

Brutha brings his cadaver before the generals and leaders of the invading anti-Omnian alliance in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent war. "It takes a long time for people like Vorbis to die," Didactylos says, because of their impact on the world.

Brutha becomes the Eighth Prophet and Prophet of Prophets, and eventually dies after a hundred years in power. In the afterlife he encounters a catatonic Vorbis lost in a wasteland and taking pity on him, guides him through it to face judgement.

Lord Winder

Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, and predecessor to Mad Lord Snapcase. Also known as Homicidal Lord Winder. During the last years of his reign, he was extremely paranoid, albeit with good reason. He took pride in being pathologically careful about everything, running Ankh-Morpork as a police state, with his dreaded Cable Street Particulars, under the command of Captain Swing, causing dissidents to disappear.

He was deposed as a result of the Glorious Revolution of the Twenty-Fifth of May, during which he was very nearly assassinated by the future Lord Vetinari, but died out of sheer terror instead when Vetinari, dressed all in black, walked up to him in a room full of people, none of them noticing anything. Because their code demands it, assassins have to tell their victim their name and who sent them—Vetinari answered "''think of me as your future''" and "''the city''" respectively (indicating that Vetinari already planned to become Patrician some day).

Witches of the Disc

Theda Withel

Ginger or Theda Withel is a Holy Wood actress in the tenth Discworld novel, ''Moving Pictures''. Using the name Delores De Syn, she starred in several movies with Victor Tugelbend, usually as the maiden to be rescued.

She is descended from the High Priestess of Holy Wood, and while sleeping, she was repeatedly possessed by an unknown force, possibly the priestess. This force used Ginger to attempt to awaken the Holy Wood guardian, which would have put a stop to the Holy Wood magic and prevented the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions from breaking through to the Discworld. Her name is a reference to Theda Bara.

Wizards of the Unseen University

The Archchancellor

The head of Unseen University is the archchancellor, an important figure who holds a seat on the Ankh-Morpork council, although this council itself has no power either, acts as a magical advisor to the Patrician.

The archchancellor of UU is considered the leader of all wizards on the Disc (by those at the UU), the first among equals (i.e. the other eighth-level wizards). There are eight eighth-level wizards and the number becomes progressively higher as the level decreases. It is common to ascend through the ranks by assassinating superiors. This has been known as the tradition of "dead men's pointy shoes." Unseen University has existed for thousands of years and the average Archchancellor remains in office for about eleven months.

The current archchancellor, Mustrum Ridcully, assumed the post in the tenth Discworld novel, '' Moving Pictures'' and held it for the rest of the novels. Unlike his predecessors, Ridcully seems to have had a very successful and, above all, injury-free career as Archchancellor. He finally put a halt to the traditional method of promotion simply by being indestructible.

The Bursar

Professor A.A. Dinwiddie, DM (7th), D.Thau., B.Occ., M.Coll. first appears in '' Faust Eric'' as a quiet, reserved person. He took the post of university treasurer because of his affinity for numbers. (The Archchancellor describes him as "''one of those idiot servants''") There was less competition for the role than for other faculty posts.

The previous Bursar, Spelter, was killed trying to save the library from destruction in '' Sourcery''. Dinwiddie expected a relatively safe office to hold since nobody else actually wanted to be bursar and dreamed of spending the rest of his life quietly adding up rows of figures. Unfortunately, shortly after he became Bursar, Mustrum Ridcully became Archchancellor. Ridcully's personality wore away at the Bursar, whose idea of excitement was a soft-boiled egg and throughout the books his sanity decreased until, by the middle of the series and the events of '' Reaper Man'', the Bursar is almost completely insane.

He is kept barely functional by experimental dosages of dried frog pills, though the effect was sometimes erratic. Since the pills are hallucinogens, the other wizards hope they will cause him to hallucinate being sane. An improper dose causes catatonia or disorganized schizophrenia.

Hex temporarily inherited the Bursar's condition after having a "''conversation''" with him, until Archchancellor Ridcully remedied the matter by convincing the ant-run thinking engine it had just been administered "LOTS OF DRYD FRORG P¼LLS". The Bursar's insanity became a byword in Ankh-Morpork; "''to go Bursar''" is "''to go crazy''".

The Dean

The Dean of Pentacles — and later Archchancellor Henry of Brazeneck College of Quirm — is a senior wizard, archetypically argumentative and lazy, but when occasion arises, among the more enthusiastic and competent of his peers. The Dean is particularly susceptible to occult or semi-magical occurrences, fads, or trends – most notably in ''Soul Music''.

He is described as very obese and Ridcully nicknames him 'Two Chairs' in ''The Last Continent''. '' Unseen Academicals'' describes a custom double-width chair formerly owned by him. ''Unseen Academicals'', also reveals that The Dean leaves UU to become Archchancellor of the new Brazeneck University, the first person to voluntarily resign from the university, something previously considered unthinkable; Ridcully regards him as a traitor despite their long friendship. On the Dean's first return visit to UU, Ridcully cannot decide how to address him and eventually remembers his fore-name is Henry. By the end of the novel, Ridcully is comfortable enough with The Dean's presence to refer to him as 'Dean', which Henry ignores.

Drum Billet

Hex

First appearing in ''Soul Music'', Hex is an elaborate, magic-powered, self-building computer (not unlike the ' shamble', a kind of magical device used by the Witches of the Discworld) featuring ants and cheese as part of its architecture, and is housed in the basement of the High Energy Magic Building at the Unseen University (UU) in the twin city of Ankh-Morpork.

Previously, other "computers" on the Disc consisted of druidic stone circles. Programmed by 'Softlore', Hex runs and evolves under the watchful eyes of Ponder Stibbons, the de facto IT manager at UU because he's the only one who understands what he's talking about.

Hex has its origins in a device that briefly appeared in ''Soul Music'', created by Ponder Stibbons and some student Wizards in the High Energy Magic building. In this form it was simply a complex network of glass tubes, containing "ants as carriers of information". The wizards could then use punched cards to control which tubes the ants can crawl through, enabling it to perform simple mathematical functions. Owing to that, Hex carries a label that reads "anthill inside".

The Librarian

The Librarian first appeared in the second novel of the series, '' The Light Fantastic'', where he was transformed in a magical accident into an orang-utan, as the great magical tome of the Creator, the Octavo was working a spell reshaping the world to ensure that Rincewind did not leave the Disc. On discovering that being an orang-utan had certain advantages for a librarian — he could climb up to high shelves, for example — he refused to be transformed back into a human and has remained an orang-utan ever since. The wizards are so used to this that "if someone ever reported that there was an orang-utan in the Library, the wizards would probably go and ask the Librarian if he'd seen it."'' Night Watch''

He reacts violently to being called a 'monkey'; technically, he is an ape. His vocabulary consists primarily of the single word ''Ook'', (originally ''Oook''), inflected for simple affirmations and negations. Nonetheless, most people seem able to understand him.

The Librarian is only referred to by his title not a name. If his name were known, he could be changed back into a human, and by the time of '' The Last Continent'' novel, he has carefully excised his name from the records of the Unseen University. '' The Discworld Companion'' hints and '' The Art of Discworld'' confirms that the Librarian was Dr Horace Worblehat, and that his fears of turning back into human are baseless at most. Rincewind is apparently the only wizard who still remembers the Librarian's name, but has agreed not to tell anyone.

The Librarian served a brief stint in the City Watch during the reign of terror caused by the dragon, and he helped rescue Sam Vimes from the Patrician's cell. He retains an honorary position with the Watch and in '' Thud!'' is considered one of the first members of the ' Specials', the Ankh-Morpork City Militia. In ''Soul Music'', he joins the Band with Rocks In and his large hands and wide reach make him an excellent keyboard player. He remains the chief organist for Unseen University.

The Librarian is a member of a small elite group of senior Librarians of Time and Space who have the knowledge and ability to travel through L-Space, an extra-dimensional space that connects all libraries and other large accumulations of books. He uses this knowledge to save books from the great library of Ephebe in '' Small Gods'' and to enter our world via the library of Sir Francis Walsingham in '' The Science of Discworld II''. The very strict rules that members of this group are pledged to enforce are:
# Silence.
# Books must be returned no later than the last date shown.
# Do not meddle with the nature of causality.

'' Men at Arms'' notes that the Librarian likes to be the best man at weddings because he is allowed to kiss the bridesmaids and they are not allowed to run away; in '' Lords and Ladies'' the Librarian served as the best man for Magrat and Verence. The cover of the Discworld picture book '' Where's My Cow?'' indicates that it has won the Ankh-Morpork Librarian's award.

The Librarian spends his leisure hours at the pub, ''the Mended Drum'', on Short Street where drinks quietly unless provoked, eats prodigious quantities of peanuts, and plays a ruthless game of Cripple Mr Onion.

The Librarian appears in orang-utan form in the video games Discworld (video game), ''Discworld'' and ''Discworld II''. In Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic, the 2008 TV adaptation of ''The Colour of Magic'' and ''The Light Fantastic'' by Sky One, he appears in both human and orang-utan form. His human form is played by Nicolas Tennant, who had previously played Nobby Nobbs, Corporal Nobbs in ''Terry Pratchett's Hogfather''. This adaptation also establishes his name as Horace Worblehat.

Rincewind the Wizzard

Ly Tin Wheedle

Ly is arguably the greatest philosopher on the Disc, although he is usually the one arguing for this. He comes from the Discworld geography#Counterweight Continent, Counterweight Continent, home of Rincewind's friend Discworld characters#Twoflower, Twoflower. In his home country he is regarded as a great sage because of his peculiar smell, and his many sayings advocating respect for the old and the virtues of poverty are frequently quoted by the rich and elderly. He is first mentioned in ''The Colour of Magic''.

In addition to social philosophy, Ly is also a proponent of natural philosophy. When the philosophical community came to the conclusion that distance was an illusion and all places were in fact the same place, Ly was the philosopher to make the famed conclusion that although all places were in fact the same place, that place was ''very big''. He has also theorised on the physics, physical underpinnings of monarchy, explaining royal succession by use of a particle known as a List of fictional elements, materials, isotopes and atomic particles#Fictional (sub)atomic particles, Kingon (or possibly Queon), musing about the possibility of a communications system based upon the systematic torture of a monarch (although at this point, he had been "thrown out of the bar").

Lupine Wonse

Wonse is a former childhood gang associate of Samuel Vimes and later secretary to Havelock Vetinari, Lord Vetinari. As the Grand Master of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night, he summoned a European dragon, dragon intending it to be killed by a king, whom he would then control. This failed and he found himself personal assistant to the Dragon King in ''Guards! Guards!''. Following a confrontation with the City Watch, he was killed by a metaphor, or possibly the ground, after then-Constable Carrot Ironfoundersson "threw the book at him", in a literal-minded response to the order of his Captain Vimes, which sent Wonse stumbling past a missing wall on an upper floor of the Patrician's palace and down many storeys to the ground floor below.

William de Worde

William de Worde is a professional scribe as ''The Truth'' opens, who writes down interesting news of Ankh-Morpork for various monarchs and nobles abroad, which leads to his becoming the editor of the Disc's first newspaper, ''The Ankh-Morpork Times''. He has an obsessive dislike of lying, which he has, however, learned to work around in the name of journalism. In self-imposed exile from his background of wealthy nobility, especially his father Lord de Worde, William works hard (and with varying degrees of success) to cast off the influence of his father. Lord de Worde is an arrogant Speciesism, speciesist and bully, who goes so far as to leave the city and live in the countryside to avoid contact with these 'lesser races'. It is implied at one point in ''The Truth'' that Lord de Worde also has 'ordinary' racism, being prejudiced against people from Klatch.

It is suggested that by ''Going Postal'' William may have married his friend and editor, Sacharissa Cripslock.

William also appears in '' Monstrous Regiment'', as a war correspondent in Borogravia along with Otto von Chriek, and is mentioned in '' Thud!'', ''Making Money'', '' Unseen Academicals'', and '' Snuff''. According to Moist von Lipwig he is roughly the same age as Moist, who is 26 in ''Going Postal''.

Lady Ysabell, Duchess of Sto Helit

Ysabell is the adoption, adopted daughter of Death who first appears in a brief cameo role in the second ''Discworld'' novel, '' The Light Fantastic'', having a leading role in the fourth ''Discworld'' novel, '' Mort''.

See also

* Craig Shaw Gardner
* Discworld (world)#Sentient species
* International Discworld Convention
* Robert Asprin
* Tom Holt
* Turtles all the way down

References

Notes

Citations

External links

Discworld & Pratchett Wiki

{{DEFAULTSORT:Discworld characters
Discworld characters,
Lists of literary characters