Parentification
   HOME

TheInfoList



OR:

Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a
child A child () is a human being between the stages of childbirth, birth and puberty, or between the Development of the human body, developmental period of infancy and puberty. The term may also refer to an unborn human being. In English-speaking ...
or
adolescent Adolescence () is a transitional stage of human physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age of majority). Adolescence is usually associated w ...
is obliged to support the family system in ways that are developmentally inappropriate and overly burdensome. For example, it is developmentally appropriate for even a very young child to help adults prepare a meal for the family to eat, but it is not developmentally appropriate for a young child to be required to provide and prepare food for the whole family alone. However, if the task is developmentally appropriate, such as a young child fetching an item for a parent or a teenager preparing a meal, then it is not a case of parentification, even if that task supports the family as a whole, relieves some of the burden on the parents, or is not the teenager's preferred activity. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: ''instrumental parentification'' and ''emotional parentification''. Instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as cooking meals or cleaning the house. Emotional parentification occurs when a child or adolescent must take on developmentally inappropriate emotional support roles, such as a confidante or mediator for (or between) parents or family members.


Background

Melitta Schmideberg noted in 1948 that emotional deprivation could lead parents to treat their children (unconsciously) as substitute parent figures. In 1967, Minuchin et al. introduced the term ''parentification''. Boszormenyi-Nagy et al. defined it in 1973 as "a parental figure's expectation that a child fulfill the role of a parent within the family subsystem." ''Spousification'' and ''parental child'' (Minuchin) offered alternative concepts exploring the same phenomenon, while the theme of intergenerational continuity in such violations of
personal boundaries Personal boundaries or the act of setting boundaries is a Life skills, life skill that has been popularized by self help authors and support groups since the mid-1980s. Personal boundaries are established by changing one's own response to interp ...
was further examined. Furthermore,
Eric Berne Eric Berne (May 10, 1910 – July 15, 1970) was a Canadian-born psychiatrist who created the theory of transactional analysis as a way of explaining human behavior. Berne's theory of transactional analysis was based on the ideas of Freud an ...
highlighted the dangers of parents and children having a symmetrical, rather than asymmetrical relationship, as when an absent spouse is replaced by the eldest child in the family dynamic; and Virginia Satir wrote of "the role–function discrepancy...where the son gets into a head-of-the-family role, commonly that of the father".
Object relations theory Object relations theory is a school of thought in psychoanalytic theory and psychoanalysis centered around theories of stages of ego development. Its concerns include the relation of the psyche to others in childhood and the exploration of re ...
suggest that a child's false self is called into being when it is forced prematurely to take excessive care of the parental object; and
John Bowlby Edward John Mostyn Bowlby (; 26 February 1907 – 2 September 1990) was a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, notable for his interest in child development and for his pioneering work in attachment theory. A ''Review of General Psychology'' ...
looked at what he called "compulsive caregiving" among the anxiously attached, as a result of a parent inverting the normal relationship and pressuring the child to be an attachment figure for them. All such aspects of disturbed and inverted parenting patterns have been drawn under the umbrella of the wider phenomenon of parentification, with the result (critics suggest) that on occasion "ironically the concept of parentification has...been as over-burdened as the child it often describes".


Gender and birth order effects

When a family has multiple children, it is usually the oldest child, or the oldest child of a particular gender, who is at highest risk for parentification. Elder children, often firstborns, are chosen for the familial parental role.Satir, p. 167 In part, this is likely because the older child is developmentally capable of providing more support to the family than the younger siblings. Gender considerations mean that sometimes the eldest boy or eldest girl is selected, even if they are not the oldest child overall, for such reasons as the preference to match the sex of a missing parent. Girls, especially those living in a large family, are more likely than boys to be pushed into developmentally inappropriate amounts and types of caregiving. If there is a disabled child in the family to be cared for, "older siblings, especially girls, are at the greatest risk of parentification". The tendency to burden the oldest girl in the family is sometimes called eldest daughter syndrome. A married, widowed, or single parent may treat their child as their spouse; this is known as ''spousification'', and it occurs more often among single than married parents. Mother–son spousification is more common than father–daughter spousification. Mothers may put their sons in this role due to a desire for protection but fear of men. Their sons are a less threatening option. Mother–daughter parentification is also more common than father–daughter parentification. Daughters are likelier than sons to be an emotional anchor. In a mother–daughter relationship, the mother might oblige her daughter to take on the caregiving role, in a betrayal of the child's normal expectation of love and care.


Types

There are several types of parentification and related concepts: * Instrumental parentification involves the child doing physical tasks for the family, such as cooking meals or cleaning the house. Teaching a child or adolescent necessary skills is not parentification, nor is requiring the child to contribute productively to the household's maintenance. What distinguishes instrumental parentification from good parenting is whether the amount and type of work matches the child's developmental needs. For example, good parents provide opportunities for children and adolescents to practice life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for others, so they will have these necessary skills when they become adults, but if the amount of household work prevents the child from getting enough rest or from going to school, then it is overly burdensome. Similarly, most children are able to assist with meal preparation, but they may not have the attention, motor skills, or
executive function In cognitive science and neuropsychology, executive functions (collectively referred to as executive function and cognitive control) are a set of cognitive processes that support goal-directed behavior, by regulating thoughts and actions thro ...
needed to safely cook without close supervision. * Emotional parentification occurs when a child is pushed into developmentally inappropriate emotional support roles. For example, some parents ask their children for advice about the parents' own romantic relationships, or expect their children to support and manage the parents' emotions, or push children into the role of mediators and peacemakers in the family. Emotional parentification is more harmful than instrumental parentification. * Adaptive parentification occurs when a child is given significant instrumental responsibilities, but is also given emotional support and recognition for their contributions to the family. This is most likely to be adaptive during a temporary situation. * Destructive parentification is harmful forms of parentification, especially without emotional support. * Spousification is when a parent treats a child like their spouse. For example, a single mother may treat her son like an adult and expect him to take on the practical or emotional responsibilities that she would expect her husband to handle. * Narcissistic parentification, named after
narcissism Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one's own needs, often at the expense of others. Narcissism, named after the Greek mythological figure ''Narcissus'', has evolv ...
, occurs when a child is forced to take on the parent's idealised
projection Projection or projections may refer to: Physics * Projection (physics), the action/process of light, heat, or sound reflecting from a surface to another in a different direction * The display of images by a projector Optics, graphics, and carto ...
, something which encourages a compulsive perfectionism in the child at the expense of their natural development. In a type of pseudo-identification, the child is induced by any and all means to take on the characteristics of the parental ego ideal – a pattern that has been detected in
western Western may refer to: Places *Western, Nebraska, a village in the US *Western, New York, a town in the US *Western Creek, Tasmania, a locality in Australia *Western Junction, Tasmania, a locality in Australia *Western world, countries that id ...
culture since
Homer Homer (; , ; possibly born ) was an Ancient Greece, Ancient Greek poet who is credited as the author of the ''Iliad'' and the ''Odyssey'', two epic poems that are foundational works of ancient Greek literature. Despite doubts about his autho ...
's description of the character of
Achilles In Greek mythology, Achilles ( ) or Achilleus () was a hero of the Trojan War who was known as being the greatest of all the Greek warriors. The central character in Homer's ''Iliad'', he was the son of the Nereids, Nereid Thetis and Peleus, ...
.


Effects

Parentification is harmful when it is unfair, developmentally inappropriate, and significantly burdens the child. As it may be adaptive or maladaptive, it is not always pathological, but its destructive form (termed ''destructive parentification'') is linked to maladaptive parenting, child maladaptation,
physical abuse Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. In most cases, children are the victims of physical abuse, but adults can also be victims, as in cases of domestic violence or ...
,
sexual abuse Sexual abuse or sex abuse is abusive sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using physical force, or by taking advantage of another. It often consists of a persistent pattern of sexual assaults. The offender is re ...
, behavioral problems, decreased
emotionality Emotionality is the observable behavioral and physiological component of emotion. It is a measure of a person's emotional reactivity to a stimulus. Most of these responses can be observed by other people, while some emotional responses can only ...
, and poor social competence. Parentified children also have a higher risk of depression,
suicidal ideation Suicidal ideation, or suicidal thoughts, is the thought process of having ideas or ruminations about the possibility of dying by suicide.World Health Organization, ''ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics'', ver. 09/2020MB26.A Suicidal i ...
,
anxiety Anxiety is an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner wikt:turmoil, turmoil and includes feelings of dread over Anticipation, anticipated events. Anxiety is different from fear in that fear is defined as the emotional response ...
, and low
self-esteem Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth, abilities, or morals. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am loved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Macki ...
. Parentification has been linked to young women with
eating disorder An eating disorder is a mental disorder defined by abnormal eating behaviors that adversely affect a person's health, physical or mental health, mental health. These behaviors may include eating too much food or too little food. Types of eatin ...
s, particularly in the case of father–daughter relationships. Where there is more than one daughter, the oldest daughter is likelier to be groomed for sexual activity and parentified. One or more of her younger sisters may be targeted by the father for sexual activity in later years. Father–son emotional parentification may result in depression and externalizing in sons. A significant byproduct of parentification is the loss of a developmentally appropriate childhood. The child may also drop out of school to assume the parental role. In destructive parentification, the child in question takes on excessive responsibility in the family, without their caretaking being supported adequately by others. By adopting the role of parental caregiver, the child loses their natural place in the family unit. In extreme instances, there may be what has been called a kind of disembodiment, a narcissistic wound that threatens one's basic self-identity. In later life, parentified children often experience anxiety over abandonment and loss, and demonstrate difficulty handling rejection and disappointment within interpersonal relationships. Boszormenyi-Nagy et al. are among the researchers who have argued that parentification is not always maladaptive. Researchers of this view say that children may benefit from being treated as capable individuals and taking on the role of supporting and caring for their family. Researchers have speculated that parentification may enhance
empathy Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another person's perspective, to understand, feel, and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more (sometimes conflicting) definitions of empathy that include but are ...
,
altruism Altruism is the concern for the well-being of others, independently of personal benefit or reciprocity. The word ''altruism'' was popularised (and possibly coined) by the French philosopher Auguste Comte in French, as , for an antonym of egoi ...
, and responsibility levels for a child. The child may pursue a career in the mental health field. The positive effects are likely if the parentification was temporary and moderate, which is an aspect of adaptive parentification. Adaptive parentification can manifest if the parent is vital to their child's development and expresses to the child their awareness of and appreciation for the child assuming the parental role. Adaptive parentification may not be role reversal when it is instrumental rather than emotional caretaking, temporary and without heavy burden, and when the child is treated fairly by their parents and has their support. Instead of being an aspect of
psychopathology Psychopathology is the study of mental illness. It includes the signs and symptoms of all mental disorders. The field includes Abnormal psychology, abnormal cognition, maladaptive behavior, and experiences which differ according to social norms ...
, it is a coping mechanism for stress.


Case studies

*
Carl Jung Carl Gustav Jung ( ; ; 26 July 1875 – 6 June 1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and psychologist who founded the school of analytical psychology. A prolific author of Carl Jung publications, over 20 books, illustrator, and corr ...
in his late autobiography reports that his mother always spoke to him as an adult, confiding in him what she could not share with her husband. Laurens van der Post commented on the grown-up atmosphere surrounding the young Jung, and considered that "this activation of the pattern of the "old man" within himself...was all a consequence of the extent to which his father and mother failed each other". * Patrick Casement reports on a patient named Mr. T whose mother would be distressed if he expressed his feelings. To limit this displeasure, Mr. T would then shield his mother from any of his emotions, mothering ''her'' himself.


Literary examples

''
The Tale of Genji is a classic work of Japanese literature written by the noblewoman, poet, and lady-in-waiting Murasaki Shikibu around the peak of the Heian period, in the early 11th century. It is one of history's first novels, the first by a woman to have wo ...
'' tells that for "Kaoru's mother...her son's visits were her chief pleasure. Sometimes he almost seemed more like a father than a son – a fact which he was aware of and thought rather sad".
Charles Dickens Charles John Huffam Dickens (; 7 February 1812 – 9 June 1870) was an English novelist, journalist, short story writer and Social criticism, social critic. He created some of literature's best-known fictional characters, and is regarded by ...
' " Angel in the house" characters, particularly Agnes Wickfield in ''
David Copperfield ''David Copperfield''Dickens invented over 14 variations of the title for this work; see is a novel by English author Charles Dickens, narrated by the eponymous David Copperfield, detailing his adventures in his journey from infancy to matur ...
'', are parentified children. Agnes is forced to be the parent of her alcoholic father and seems to strive for perfection as a means of reaching the "ego ideal" of her deceased mother (who died upon child-birth). Because of this, Agnes marries late, has relationship and intimacy problems (she has a hard time expressing her love for
David David (; , "beloved one") was a king of ancient Israel and Judah and the third king of the United Monarchy, according to the Hebrew Bible and Old Testament. The Tel Dan stele, an Aramaic-inscribed stone erected by a king of Aram-Dam ...
until he reveals his own love for her), and has some self-defeating attitudes; in one scene she blames her own father's misfortunes on herself. However, she proves to be resilient, resourceful, responsible and even potentially career-driven (she forms her own school). She also manages to marry the protagonist David and the two live happily together for 10 years with children by the end of the novel. The theme of parentification has also been explored in the ''Twilight'' series, with particular but not exclusive reference to the character of Bella Swan.Nancy R. Reagin ed., ''Twilight and History'' (2010) p. 184–85 and p. 258-9


See also


References


Further reading

* {{Cite journal , last1=Hooper , first1=L. M. , last2=DeCoster , first2=J. , last3=White , first3=N. , last4=Voltz , first4=M. L. , name-list-style=amp , date=October 2011 , title=Characterizing the Magnitude of the Relation Between Parentification and Psychopathology: A Meta-Analysis , url=https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jclp.20807 , journal=Journal of Clinical Psychology , volume=67 , issue=10 , pages=1028–1043 , doi=10.1002/jclp.20807, pmid=21520081 , url-access=subscription Abuse Child abuse Narcissism Psychological abuse 1960s neologisms