Miss March

''Miss March'' is a 2009 American sex comedy film written, starring, and directed by Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger, stars of the IFC show '' The Whitest Kids U' Know''.

The film was released on March 13, 2009. It marks the final on-screen film appearance of Hugh Hefner before his death in 2017. It is also the first of only three films directed by Moore before his death in 2021, the second being ''The Civil War on Drugs'', which was aired in segments during the final season of ''The Whitest Kids U' Know'' in 2011, and the third being the animated comedy ''Mars'', which premiered posthumously at the Tribeca Film Festival on June 6, 2024.

Plot

Tucker has been a huge fan of the Playboy franchise since finding his friend Eugene's older brother's magazines when he was eight. Eugene and his girlfriend Cindi Whitehall are public speakers. They spend their time speaking to elementary school children about abstinence and sexually transmitted diseases. Eugene also relates what happened to his brother, Tucker, who lost his wife and son in a fire.

Even though Eugene and Cindi preach about abstinence publicly, Cindi tells Eugene she wants to have sex with him for the first time. They plan to have sex at an after prom party that Tucker has invited them to. At the party, Eugene is nervous and Tucker gives him several shots of hard alcohol. Eugene unwittingly heads through the basement door and falls down the steps, winding up in a coma for four years.

Tucker wakes Eugene from his coma by hitting him with a baseball bat, which unfortunately causes Eugene to defecate constantly. They soon discover that Cindi has become the newest Playboy centerfold. Tucker devises a plan to go cross country to the Playboy Mansion and crash Playboy's annual Birthday bash in order to reunite Eugene with his old girlfriend. Tucker's girlfriend, Candace, also begins hunting him down after an incident where he stabbed her after she bit his genitals during an epileptic seizure while performing fellatio.

They are immediately targeted by the local firefighters led by Candace's brother, Rick. The duo loses the tail and the firefighters reach out to other firefighters across the country, placing a bounty on Tucker's head. After accidentally burning down a hotel room, Eugene and Tucker find out that firefighters across the country are hunting them down.

In Chicago, Tucker runs low on funds due to his incompetent road trip planning and they meet up with their old friend, Phil, who has become a famous rapper with the MC name of Horsedick dot MPEG. They all hop on board his party bus and begin to trek across the country towards the Mansion. On the bus, Tucker is in a bedroom with Crystal, one of Horsedick's women. After bouncing up and down on the bed for Tucker's amusement, she accidentally flies out the open window.

Eugene learns that Cindy slept with Horsedick, Eugene slaps Horsedick and defecates on board, and Tucker and Eugene are thrown out of the bus in the desert and left to walk the rest of the way. Just as it seems like all hope is lost, a car pulls up with two Russian lesbians, Katja and Vonka. The four make a deal where the boys do the driving to Los Angeles while the women are in the back seat having sex.

They make it to the Mansion only to be stopped by bouncers at the door while the lesbians are let in. Candace and the firefighters arrive and are let in, giving Tucker and Eugene the perfect ploy to slip inside. While searching for Cindi, Eugene is suspected of being a stalker and is taken into a secure holding area, but not before being spotted by Cindi. Candace and the firefighters spot Tucker, who flees and hides.

While hiding, Tucker meets Hugh Hefner. Hugh and Tucker have a discussion about Tucker's love issues, and Hugh tells Tucker about the first woman he ever fell in love with. Hefner explains that "there is a bunny in every woman", and that if Tucker can only see the "bunny" in those women, that he's on to something. Hugh soon calls security upon learning that Tucker not only stabbed his girlfriend in the face with a fork, but the fact that firefighters want to kill him.

Back in the holding area, Cindi comes in to see Eugene, who is not to keen on seeing her. Eugene accuses her of abandoning him, but Cindi tells Eugene that the money she made modeling and being a Playboy Bunny was sent to help pay for Eugene's hospital bills after his neglectful father wanted to permanently move him into hospice and let him die. She then pointed out that Tucker was receiving the mail which sparked some ire in Eugene. Shortly after, both guys are thrown out of the Mansion.

Tucker is handed to the firefighters to be beheaded and Tucker apologizes to Candace, begging for a second chance with her. She decides to give him another shot, which infuriates Rick and his fire crew. Eugene is handed over to Horsedick dot MPEG, who promised to "rip Eugene's face off". After Cindi reveals to everyone outside that Horsedick was born without genitals, his right-hand man realizes that he's never seen MPEG in action with a woman.

At that moment, his crew pulls down his pants, showing nothing but two straws where his genitals should be. Horsedick leaves embarrassed and ashamed, and after Eugene and Cindi make up, Hefner lets everyone back in. Eugene and Tucker find themselves in the Mansion's kitchen, and Eugene tells Tucker that Cindi is waiting upstairs for him. They finally have sex, where Eugene " overexerts" himself.

During the credits, Eugene's doctor is attempting to resuscitate a coma with a baseball bat the same way Tucker did Eugene. The coma patient turned out to be Crystal, who woke up before the doctor struck her, promising to kill Tucker.

Cast

* Zach Cregger as Eugene Pratt, A young male who woke up from a 4 year coma to learn his girlfriend is a Playboy centerfold
* Trevor Moore as Tucker Cleigh, Eugene's friend who is obsessed with Playboy
* Craig Robinson as Phil aka "Horsedick Dot MPEG", an old high school classmate turned successful rapper
* Raquel Alessi as Cindi Whitehall, Eugene's girlfriend, now a playmate
* Molly Stanton as Candace, Tucker's girlfriend, who suffers from extreme epilepsy
* Cedric Yarbrough as Doctor
* Geoff Meed as Rick, Candace's brother who is a firefigther
* Hugh Hefner as Himself
* Sara Jean Underwood as Herself
* Betsy Rue as Strawberrius
* Carla Jimenez as Nurse Juanita, a nurse attending to Eugene
* Alexis Raben as Katja, one of the Russian lesbians giving Eugene and Tucker a lift to the Playboy Mansion
* Eve Mauro as Vonka, one of the Russian lesbians giving Eugene and Tucker a lift to the Playboy Mansion
* Tanjareen Martin as Crystal, one of Horsedick's girls
* Alex Donnelley as Mrs. Whitehall
* Jen Taylor as Customs Official
* Anthony Jeselnik as Director

Production

Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger were offered the script of ''Miss March'' by Fox, and although not initially interested, the idea held some appeal and they took it on as a writing exercise and made it their own. They developed the project intentionally without the involvement of ''Playboy''.

Robert Wagner was originally cast as Hugh Hefner and according to Moore and Cregger, he did a great job, but audiences at test screenings did not react positively; audiences already familiar with Hefner from the television series ''The Girls Next Door'' did not connect with Wagner. "Tails between their legs," Moore and Cregger took the film to Playboy. Fortunately, Hefner liked what he saw and agreed to take part, as well as getting 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood to cameo in the film.

Reception

Critical response

James Berardinelli, an online film critic, wrote about the film, saying, "This is bad. Not bad in a way that it might be fun to see when inebriated. Bad in a way from which only death provides immunity. Forget waterboarding – just show Guantanamo detainees ''Miss March'' and they'll say anything."
Tom O'Neil, a critic for the ''Los Angeles Times'', questioned as to whether the film could be the worst of 2009.
CNN critic Tom Charity declared the film the worst of 2009.

For his performance in the film, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner was nominated for a Razzie Award for "worst supporting actor".

Box office

On ''Miss Marchs opening weekend, the film grossed $2.4 million, which put the film in 10th place of all movies that weekend.

The film grossed $4.54 million at the box office in the United States and Canada.

Home video

The film was released on both Blu-ray and DVD on July 28, 2009.

Retrospective

Moore and Cregger talked about the film several times on their weekly Twitch livestreams (before Moore's death). Cregger has stated he believes they did the best they could with the idea, and although some scenes work, the film was their first attempt at making a movie. Despite that, he is still relatively critical of the final product. Moore, on the other hand, stood by the movie, comparing it to their sketch group '' The Whitest Kids U' Know'' television series "some parts are funny, some parts aren't." The directors still had a sense of humor about the poor response as they would read the poor reviews and sarcastically remark about the film's quality on livestream.

References

External links

Official website
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{{Zach Cregger

2009 films
2009 comedy films
2000s American films
2000s buddy comedy films
2000s comedy road movies
2000s sex comedy films
2000s teen sex comedy films
2000s English-language films
American buddy comedy films
American comedy road movies
American screwball comedy films
American sex comedy films
American slapstick comedy films
American teen comedy films
English-language buddy comedy films
English-language sex comedy films
Films about pornography
Films about proms
Films about virginity
Films about Playboy
Films directed by Zach Cregger
Films scored by Jeff Cardoni
Films with screenplays by Zach Cregger
Fox Searchlight Pictures films
Alta Loma Entertainment films