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John Elias Villagran III (born March 1, 1994), known professionally as Lil Lotus (stylized as LiL Lotus) is an American rapper and record producer from
Dallas, Texas Dallas () is a city in the U.S. state of Texas and the most populous city in the Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex, the List of Texas metropolitan areas, most populous metropolitan area in Texas and the Metropolitan statistical area, fourth-most ...
. He has released two solo studio albums, four solo EPs, three collaborative EPs and an additional two EPs as a part of the
alternative hip hop Alternative hip-hop (also known as alternative rap and experimental hip-hop) is a subgenre of hip-hop music that encompasses a wide range of styles that are not typically identified as mainstream. AllMusic defines it as comprising "hip-hop group ...
group Boyfriendz and three EPs as a member of the
post-hardcore Post-hardcore is a punk rock music genre that maintains the aggression and intensity of hardcore punk but emphasizes a greater degree of creative expression. Like the term " post-punk", the term "post-hardcore" has been applied to a broad conste ...
band
If I Die First Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981, in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, singer and record producer. He is known for being a vocalist and guitarist in the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Violence a ...
. Beginning his career playing in multiple local
Texas Texas ( , ; or ) is the most populous U.S. state, state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. It borders Louisiana to the east, Arkansas to the northeast, Oklahoma to the north, New Mexico to the we ...
metalcore Metalcore is a broadly defined fusion genre combining elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk, originating in the 1990s United States and becoming popular in the 2000s. Metalcore typically has aggressive verses and melodic choruses, combined ...
bands, he began an acoustic solo career in 2016 under the name Tremor. After posting a number of songs on
SoundCloud SoundCloud is a German audio streaming service owned and operated by SoundCloud Global Limited & Co. KG. The service enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is ...
he became increasingly influenced by the emerging
emo rap Emo rap is a subgenre of Hip hop music, hip hop with influence from emo. Originating in the SoundCloud rap scene in the mid-2010s, the genre fuses characteristics of hip hop music, such as trap-style beats with vocals that are usually sung. Some ...
scene on the platform, which led to him taking on the Lil Lotus moniker and associating with members and affiliates of
GothBoiClique GothBoiClique (also abbreviated as GBC) is an American emo rap collective based in Los Angeles, California. It was formed in 2012 by Wicca Phase Springs Eternal, Cold Hart, and Horse Head. The group's name comes from a beat that Cold Hart sent t ...
.


Early life

John "Elias" Villagran grew up in
Pleasant Grove, Dallas Pleasant Grove is an area located in the southeastern section of Dallas, Texas, United States. The Pleasant Grove area is bounded by Bruton Road to the North, Marvel Dr. on the south, Prairie Creek (the creek, not the road) on the east and the Tr ...
,
Texas Texas ( , ; or ) is the most populous U.S. state, state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. It borders Louisiana to the east, Arkansas to the northeast, Oklahoma to the north, New Mexico to the we ...
with devout
Christian A Christian () is a person who follows or adheres to Christianity, a Monotheism, monotheistic Abrahamic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus in Christianity, Jesus Christ. Christians form the largest religious community in the wo ...
parents. In childhood, he and his family attended
Fellowship Church Fellowship Church (FC) is Baptist Evangelical multi-site megachurch based in Grapevine, Texas, a suburb of Fort Worth. It is affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. Its senior pastors are Ed Young and Lisa Young. History FC started in ...
. His father was a musician, who introduced him to a wide variety of musical styles including
jazz Jazz is a music genre that originated in the African-American communities of New Orleans, Louisiana, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Its roots are in blues, ragtime, European harmony, African rhythmic rituals, spirituals, h ...
,
reggaeton Reggaeton (, ) is a modern style of popular music, popular and electronic music that originated in Panamanian reggaetón, Panama during the late 1980s, and which rose to prominence in the late 1990s and early 2000s through a plethora of Puert ...
and
oldies Oldies is a term for musical genres such as pop music, rock and roll, doo-wop, surf music from the second half of the 20th century, specifically from around the mid-1950s to the 1980s, as well as for a radio format playing this music. Since 2 ...
. He became influenced to make music through groups like
Linkin Park Linkin Park is an American Rock music, rock band formed in Agoura Hills, California, in 1996. The band's current lineup consists of vocalist/rhythm guitarist/keyboardist Mike Shinoda, lead guitarist Brad Delson, DJ/turntablist Joe Hahn, bass ...
and
Paramore Paramore is an American rock band formed in Franklin, Tennessee, in 2004. Since 2017, the band's lineup includes lead vocalist Hayley Williams, lead guitarist Taylor York, and drummer Zac Farro. Williams and Farro are founding members of ...
, as well as various
emo Emo () is a genre of rock music characterized by emotional, often confessional lyrics. It emerged as a style of hardcore punk and from the Washington, D.C., hardcore scene, where it was known as emotional hardcore or emocore. The bands ...
and heavy metal songs that his friend had put on an
iPod The iPod is a series of portable media players and multi-purpose mobile devices that were designed and marketed by Apple Inc. from 2001 to 2022. The iPod Classic#1st generation, first version was released on November 10, 2001, about mon ...
that Villagran had stolen. He was eventually accepted into a music and arts high school and began being taught guitar by his father. By fourteen, he and his brother were performing praise and worship music at their church, which led to him forming a Christian
melodic hardcore Melodic hardcore is a broadly defined subgenre of hardcore punk with a strong emphasis on melody in its guitar work. The style often includes guitar harmonies, riffs using octave chords, as well as broken chords. Additionally, lyrics tend towar ...
band. His first concert was at the
Palladium Ballroom The Palladium Ballroom was a New York City night club. The US mambo craze that started in 1948 began at the Palladium Ballroom. On March 15, 1946, it opened at the northeast corner of Broadway and 53rd Street.''New York Post'', March 14, 1946; ...
at fourteen, watching Paramore,
the Starting Line The Starting Line is an American pop-punk band formed in Churchville, Pennsylvania, Churchville, Pennsylvania in 1999. They are currently based in Philadelphia. History Early years (1999–2001) In 1999, the band that would become The Startin ...
and
the Almost The Almost is an American Rock music, rock band from Clearwater, Florida, fronted by Underoath drummer and vocalist Aaron Gillespie. Formed in 2005 as a solo project by Gillespie, the band currently includes guitarist Jay Vilardi, bassist Jon Tho ...
. He found himself doing fill-in spots for various acts in his local
metalcore Metalcore is a broadly defined fusion genre combining elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk, originating in the 1990s United States and becoming popular in the 2000s. Metalcore typically has aggressive verses and melodic choruses, combined ...
scene, including Be//Gotten and Azurah, as well as becoming a frequent user of drugs such as
LSD Lysergic acid diethylamide, commonly known as LSD (from German ; often referred to as acid or lucy), is a semisynthetic, hallucinogenic compound derived from ergot, known for its powerful psychological effects and serotonergic activity. I ...
and
Xanax Alprazolam, sold under the brand name Xanax among others, is a fast-acting, potent tranquilizer of moderate duration within the triazolobenzodiazepine group of chemicals called benzodiazepines. Alprazolam is most commonly prescribed in the ...
. When Villagran was eighteen, his father died, which led him to leave home and live in his car for the following two years. He spent much of this period parked in friends' driveways and talking to his mother once a month by phone call. After returning home, he commenced his fill-in roles, organising local concerts and working day jobs in factories. The birth of his son Luca led him to stop performing with bands and begin pursuing music solo.


Career


Solo

Villagran began recording and mixing acoustic solo music and uploading the songs online in 2016. At this time he was performing under the name Tremor. He soon changed his stage name to Lil Lotus, after being introduced to and becoming influenced by the sound of
GothBoiClique GothBoiClique (also abbreviated as GBC) is an American emo rap collective based in Los Angeles, California. It was formed in 2012 by Wicca Phase Springs Eternal, Cold Hart, and Horse Head. The group's name comes from a beat that Cold Hart sent t ...
members
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal Adam McIlwee (born March 11, 1989), often known by the stage name Wicca Phase Springs Eternal (WPSE), is an American musician from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Beginning his career as a member of the rock band Tigers Jaw, he soon began pursuing a solo ...
, Horse Head and Coldhart. His career began to grow as he began having tracks of his such as "Run Home" and "Scared to Die" be uploaded on YouTube channels like Astari. On June 15, 2017, he released the EP ''Bodybag''. On September 14, 2017, he released the song "Ur Dad Has A Gun" featuring Shinigami. A music video was released for the track "Bodybag", which features Coldhart was released on January 15, 2018. From March 3 to April 6, he opened for
Nothing,Nowhere Joseph Edward Mulherin (born June 4, 1992), better known by his stage name nothing,nowhere., is an American musician, multi-instrumentalist, rapper, singer, and songwriter.Jon Caramanica"nothing,nowhere. Blends Hip-Hop and Emo to Make Tomorrow's ...
on his U.S. headline tour alongside Shinigami and Jay-Vee. Between May 13 and 31, he opened for
Senses Fail Senses Fail is an American rock band formed in Ridgewood, New Jersey, in 2001. Founded by vocalist Buddy Nielsen, drummer Dan Trapp, guitarists Garrett Zablocki and Dave Miller, and bassist James Gill (replaced by Mike Glita shortly after); th ...
on their U.S. headline tour alongside
Sharptooth Sharptooth was an American hardcore punk band from Baltimore, Maryland, United States. Formed in 2013, the band released two EPs and two studio albums, entitled ''Clever Girl'' (2017) and ''Transitional Forms'' (2020), before disbanding in 2023. ...
. On August 10, he released a collaborative EP with Horse Head titled "I Did This to Myself". He was featured on the song "Don't Take Me For Pomegranate" by I Set My Friends on Fire released on September 7. From October 5 to 9, he opened for
Papa Roach Papa Roach is an American Rock music, rock band from Vacaville, California, formed in 1993. The original lineup consisted of lead vocalist Jacoby Shaddix, drummer Dave Buckner, guitarist Jerry Horton, bassist Will James, and trombonist Ben Luth ...
on their short U.S. tour, alongside
Of Mice & Men ''Of Mice and Men'' is a 1937 novella written by American author John Steinbeck. It describes the experiences of George Milton and Lennie Small, two displaced migrant ranch workers, as they move from place to place in California, searching for ...
. On May 31, 2019, he released a collaborative EP with I Set My Friends on Fire, featuring one track where Villagran covers I Set My Friends on Fire, one track where I Set My Friends on Fire cover Villagran and two original collaborative songs. On December 11, it was announced that he had signed to
Epitaph Records Epitaph Records is an American independent record label owned by Bad Religion guitarist Brett Gurewitz. A large portion of the record label, known as Hellcat Records, is owned by Tim Armstrong, frontman of the punk rock band Rancid. Several ...
, which coincided with the release of the single "Never Get Away". On February 3, 2020, he was featured on the single "Promise" by Tisoki. On February 21, he released the song "I Don't Even Like U", as a single. On April 6, he released the song "Never Felt Better" as a single. On May 15, he released the EP ''All My Little Scars, Vol. 1'', the first in a trilogy of EPs released in 2020. He featured on the song "Dead Roses" by Slit, which was released on July 31. On August 3, he released the EP ''All My Little Scars Vol. 2''. On August 31, he released the final EP in the ''All My Little Scars'' trilogy. He was featured on the song "So In Love" by Danny Goo, which was released September 4, 2020. On February 16, 2021, he released the single "Girl Next Door" featuring Lil Aaron. On May 25, he released the single "Romantic Disaster" featuring
Chrissy Costanza Christina Nicola Costanza (born August 23, 1995) is an American singer, songwriter, musician and YouTuber. She is best known as the lead vocalist and primary songwriter of the rock band Against the Current. Personal life Costanza was born on ...
, and announced the release of his debut album '' Errør Bøy''. On June 29, he released the single "Think of Me Tonight". On August 1, he released the single "Rooftop". ''Errør Bøy'' was officially released on August 20, 2021.


Boyfriendz

In late 2017, Villagran formed the group Boyfriendz, with Smrtdeath and
Lil Aaron Aaron Jennings Puckett (born May 31, 1994), known professionally as Lil Aaron (stylized as lil aaron), is an American singer, rapper, and songwriter from Goshen, Indiana. Merging elements of pop punk and emo with hip hop and pop, he has released ...
. They released their debut self-titled EP in December 2017. The EP was recorded in a single night and was released within a week through
SoundCloud SoundCloud is a German audio streaming service owned and operated by SoundCloud Global Limited & Co. KG. The service enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is ...
. On February 14, 2018, Boyfriendz released their second EP ''BFZ2''.


If I Die First

In 2020, he formed the band
If I Die First Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981, in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, singer and record producer. He is known for being a vocalist and guitarist in the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Violence a ...
. Villagran is the band's lead vocalist, accompanied by emo rappers Lil Zubin (clean vocals and keyboard) and Nedarb Nagrom (guitar and clean vocals),
From First to Last From First to Last is an American post-hardcore band formed in Tampa, Florida by Matt Good, Scott Oord, and Parker Nelms in November 1999. The current line-up consists of Matt Good (lead vocals and lead guitar), Travis Richter (rhythm guitar an ...
guitarist
Travis Richter Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981, in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, Singing, singer and record producer. He is known for being a vocalist and guitarist in the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Vi ...
(guitar and unclean vocals) and
Ghostemane Eric Whitney (born April 15, 1991), known professionally as Ghostemane or Eric Ghoste, is an American rapper and record producer. He has released eight solo albums and three collaborative albums under his Ghostemane moniker, primarily merging ...
backing band musicians Cayle Sain (drums) and Nolan Nunes (bass). Their music has been categorised as
metalcore Metalcore is a broadly defined fusion genre combining elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk, originating in the 1990s United States and becoming popular in the 2000s. Metalcore typically has aggressive verses and melodic choruses, combined ...
,
post-hardcore Post-hardcore is a punk rock music genre that maintains the aggression and intensity of hardcore punk but emphasizes a greater degree of creative expression. Like the term " post-punk", the term "post-hardcore" has been applied to a broad conste ...
and
screamo Screamo (also referred to as skramz) is a subgenre of emo that emerged in the early 1990s and emphasizes "willfully experimental dissonance and dynamics".Jason Heller, "Feast of Reason". ''Denver Westword'', June 20, 2002 Access date: June 15, 2 ...
. The members of the band met through both
SoundCloud SoundCloud is a German audio streaming service owned and operated by SoundCloud Global Limited & Co. KG. The service enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is ...
and frequenting Richter's music venue in Los Angeles. The band was formed in April 2020 with Villagran on vocals, Zubin on vocals, Nagrom on guitar and vocals, Sain on drums and Nunes on bass, with Richter joining and Zubin beginning to play keyboard by the end of the month. They took their name from
Philadelphia Philadelphia ( ), colloquially referred to as Philly, is the List of municipalities in Pennsylvania, most populous city in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania and the List of United States cities by population, sixth-most populous city in the Unit ...
rapper Chynna Rogers' EP ''In Case I Die First''. Rogers was a friend of Nagrom's, who died in April 2020. On July 8 they released a music video for their debut single "Where Needles And Lovers Collide", directed by Max Beck and Ritcher, and announced the release of their debut EP ''My Poison Arms''. On July 10, they released the EP, which consisted of six tracks. It was recorded by each member individually during the
COVID-19 pandemic The COVID-19 pandemic (also known as the coronavirus pandemic and COVID pandemic), caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2), began with an disease outbreak, outbreak of COVID-19 in Wuhan, China, in December ...
. On March 30, 2021, the band announced a split EP with
SeeYouSpaceCowboy SeeYouSpaceCowboy (formerly stylized as SeeYouSpaceCowboy...) was an American hardcore punk band formed in San Diego, California, in 2016, by Connie Sgarbossa, Ethan Sgarbossa and Taylor Allen. Their name is taken from a phrase shown on many of ...
called ''A Sure Disaster'', which will be released on May 14, 2021, through
Pure Noise Records Pure Noise Records is an American punk rock record label based in Nashville, Tennessee. It was founded by Jake Round in 2009 while he was an editor at '' AMP''; the previous fall, friends of his in the band No Bragging Rights told him they were ...
. They also released a video for the collaborative single from the EP called ''bloodstainedeyes''.


Personal life

Villagran has one child, his son named Luca. Luca was born when Villagran was twenty-one, to a woman named Miranda that he had been in a relationship with since he was nineteen. The couple broke up and got back together multiple times, but eventually broke up permanently after two years, for a year of which the relationship was long-distance, as she had moved to
Oklahoma Oklahoma ( ; Choctaw language, Choctaw: , ) is a landlocked U.S. state, state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. It borders Texas to the south and west, Kansas to the north, Missouri to the northea ...
. Villagran then had a relationship with rapper Sage Aquafina, who he had become engaged to, and bought a house in Dallas with in 2019. By 2020, the couple had split up, an event which influenced multiple of his subsequent songs. Later on in Lil Lotus' career, he became addicted to
cocaine Cocaine is a tropane alkaloid and central nervous system stimulant, derived primarily from the leaves of two South American coca plants, ''Erythroxylum coca'' and ''Erythroxylum novogranatense, E. novogranatense'', which are cultivated a ...
and various opiates (mainly
oxycodone Oxycodone, sold under the brand name Roxicodone and OxyContin (which is the extended-release form) among others, is a semi-synthetic opioid used medically for the treatment of moderate to severe pain. It is highly addictive and is a commonly ...
and
fentanyl Fentanyl is a highly potent synthetic piperidine opioid primarily used as an analgesic (pain medication). It is 30 to 50 times more Potency (pharmacology), potent than heroin and 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine. Its primary Medici ...
). Eventually he reached sobriety in the summer of 2019. After almost a year of sobriety, he relapsed for three months, before becoming sober once again in April 2020. He relapsed one more time and posted about it on
Instagram Instagram is an American photo sharing, photo and Short-form content, short-form video sharing social networking service owned by Meta Platforms. It allows users to upload media that can be edited with Social media camera filter, filters, be ...
in July 2024 when he announced he was one year clean again. Villagran has been diagnosed with
bipolar disorder Bipolar disorder (BD), previously known as manic depression, is a mental disorder characterized by periods of Depression (mood), depression and periods of abnormally elevated Mood (psychology), mood that each last from days to weeks, and in ...
. He is also openly
bisexual Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females. It may also be defined as the attraction to more than one gender, to people of both the same and different gender, or the attraction t ...
.


Musical style

Villagran's early solo music has been categorised by critics as
emo rap Emo rap is a subgenre of Hip hop music, hip hop with influence from emo. Originating in the SoundCloud rap scene in the mid-2010s, the genre fuses characteristics of hip hop music, such as trap-style beats with vocals that are usually sung. Some ...
, with Hysteria magazine hailing him as "one of the biggest influences of the emo-rap genre". However, he disavows the label himself, preferring to say that his music is simply an updated version of
emo Emo () is a genre of rock music characterized by emotional, often confessional lyrics. It emerged as a style of hardcore punk and from the Washington, D.C., hardcore scene, where it was known as emotional hardcore or emocore. The bands ...
. His music often incorporates elements of
Contemporary R&B Contemporary R&B (or simply R&B) is a popular music Music genre, genre, originating from African Americans, African-American musicians in the 1980s that combines rhythm and blues with elements of Pop music, pop, Soul music, soul, funk, Hip-hop, ...
, trap and
pop punk Pop-punk (also punk-pop, alternatively spelled without the hyphen) is a rock music fusion genre that combines elements of punk rock with power pop or pop music, pop. It is defined by its fast-paced, energetic tempos, and emphasis on classic pop s ...
. Dead Press writer Tyler Turner described his music as "push ngthe boundaries of modern emo without falling too deeply into the trap of instrumental idleness". On his debut album ''Error Boy'', Villagran transitioned his music closer to pop punk. He has cited influences including
the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is an American Rock music, rock band formed in Middleburg, Florida, in 2003. The band's current members include Ronnie Winter (lead vocals), Joey Westwood (bass), Josh Burke (lead guitar), Randy Winter (rhythm guitar), ...
,
Saosin Saosin ( or ) is an American rock band formed in 2003 in Orange County, California. The group originally consisted of Beau Burchell, Justin Shekoski, Zach Kennedy and Anthony Green. They released their debut EP, '' Translating the Name'', i ...
,
Alesana Alesana ( ) is an American post-hardcore band from Raleigh, North Carolina. The group was founded by Shawn Milke, Dennis Lee, Patrick Thompson, Steven Tomany and Daniel Magnuson during the fall of 2004, and is currently signed to Revival Record ...
,
Escape the Fate Escape the Fate is an American rock band from Las Vegas, Nevada, formed in 2004. Originally from Pahrump, Nevada, the group currently consists of lead vocalist Craig Mabbitt, guitarists Matti Hoffman, Erik Jensen and drummer Robert Ortiz. Ortiz ...
,
SeeYouSpaceCowboy SeeYouSpaceCowboy (formerly stylized as SeeYouSpaceCowboy...) was an American hardcore punk band formed in San Diego, California, in 2016, by Connie Sgarbossa, Ethan Sgarbossa and Taylor Allen. Their name is taken from a phrase shown on many of ...
,
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal Adam McIlwee (born March 11, 1989), often known by the stage name Wicca Phase Springs Eternal (WPSE), is an American musician from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Beginning his career as a member of the rock band Tigers Jaw, he soon began pursuing a solo ...
, Horse Head and Cold Hart.


Discography


Studio albums


with Boyfriendz


with If I Die First


Collaborative


Extended plays


Singles


As lead artist


As featured artist


References

{{Reflist 1994 births 21st-century American LGBTQ people 21st-century American male rappers 21st-century American male singers 21st-century American rappers 21st-century American singers Alternative hip-hop musicians American alternative rock musicians American bisexual men American bisexual musicians American LGBTQ rappers American LGBTQ singers Bisexual male musicians Bisexual rappers Bisexual singers Emo musicians LGBTQ people from Texas Living people People with bipolar disorder Rappers from Dallas