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This is a list of characters for the British television and radio sketch show '' Little Britain'' (and its American spin-off, ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'').


Overview

;Key : Characters that appear for only one sketch are not listed in the table


A


Alan

Appearances: Series 3
Alan works for the Donkey Hospice in the town of Achingballs. After contributors give him some money, he blatantly places stickers on embarrassing body parts, such as the genital region or breasts and on someone's rear in a deleted scene. He makes one appearance in Series 3.


Peter Andre

Episodes: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 4 and 5
Catchphrase: "I love you Anne" and "I need you Anne"
Peter Andre is a
Royal correspondent Royal correspondent is the designation often assigned to a journalist who specialises in reporting on the goings on of royalty. Examples from the United Kingdom include Jennie Bond and Nicholas Witchell, both of the BBC. See also * Royal Rota ...
for the BBC who gets sacked after first making surreal and false claims about the
Royal Family A royal family is the immediate family of kings/queens, emirs/emiras, sultans/ sultanas, or raja/ rani and sometimes their extended family. The term imperial family appropriately describes the family of an emperor or empress, and the term p ...
(such as
Prince Charles Charles III (Charles Philip Arthur George; born 14 November 1948) is King of the United Kingdom and the 14 other Commonwealth realms. He was the longest-serving heir apparent and Prince of Wales and, at age 73, became the oldest person to ...
having magical powers, describing
the queen In the English-speaking world, The Queen most commonly refers to: * Elizabeth II (1926–2022), Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms from 1952 until her death The Queen may also refer to: * Camilla, Queen Consort (born 1947), ...
as "The Main One" and mistaking Princess Eugenie for her mother,
Sarah, Duchess of York Sarah, Duchess of York (born Sarah Margaret Ferguson; 15 October 1959), also known by the nickname Fergie, is a member of the British royal family. She is the former wife of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, the younger brother of King Charles II ...
) and then expressing his love for
Princess Anne Anne, Princess Royal (Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise; born 15 August 1950), is a member of the British royal family. She is the second child and only daughter of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, and the only sister of Ki ...
through song. He later attempts to enter a royal garden party to give her some drawings, despite being scruffy and without trousers, and is turned away by police. The character's name is a reference to the singer. There are also two deleted scenes in which Peter Andre appears backstage at the
Royal Variety Performance The ''Royal Variety Performance'' is a televised variety show held annually in the United Kingdom to raise money for the Royal Variety Charity (of which King Charles III is life-patron). It is attended by senior members of the British royal ...
(impersonating Keith Harris and
Orville the Duck Orville the Duck was the most famous puppet often used by the ventriloquist Keith Harris (1947–2015) and was named after Orville Wright (one of the Wright Brothers). Orville is a green duckling who wears nothing but a nappy with a large saf ...
) and at a drug rehab centre.


Anne

Appearances: Starting in Series 1
Catchphrase: "Eh-eh-ehhh!" Anne is a patient at the Steven Spielberg Hospital in Little Bentcock, where she is being trained for integration into society. She is severely mentally challenged, except when answering calls on her mobile phone, when she converses in a completely coherent and polite manner. Unfortunately for her
psychiatrist A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in psychiatry, the branch of medicine devoted to the diagnosis, prevention, study, and treatment of mental disorders. Psychiatrists are physicians and evaluate patients to determine whether their ...
, Dr. Lawrence, who is almost always accompanied by Dr. Beagrie, she displays poor progress when observed. She often resorts to extreme behaviour, such as licking or stroking the faces of other people, or destroying things around her. Anne likes poo. She painted a picture out of poo and wrote "Merry Xmas" in poo. Anne has worked at a library (where she earns £5 but then, much to the doctor's surprise, intentionally drops the money into a drain), at a
bowling alley A bowling alley (also known as a bowling center, bowling lounge, bowling arena, or historically bowling club) is a facility where the sport of bowling is played. It can be a dedicated facility or part of another, such as a clubhouse or dwelling ...
and as a pianist in a restaurant; she takes a keen interest in amateur dramatics and home decoration. Her character is similar to that of Mr Doggy's owner. Anne has appeared in all series and had a '' Stars in Their Eyes'' sketch for ''Little Britain Live''. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', Anne met the Pope and went to the
Louvre The Louvre ( ), or the Louvre Museum ( ), is the world's most-visited museum, and an historic landmark in Paris, France. It is the home of some of the best-known works of art, including the ''Mona Lisa'' and the ''Venus de Milo''. A central l ...
in Paris, from where she stole the
Mona Lisa The ''Mona Lisa'' ( ; it, Gioconda or ; french: Joconde ) is a Half length portrait, half-length portrait painting by Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci. Considered an archetypal masterpiece of the Italian Renaissance, it has been described ...
. She also licked the
Pope The pope ( la, papa, from el, πάππας, translit=pappas, 'father'), also known as supreme pontiff ( or ), Roman pontiff () or sovereign pontiff, is the bishop of Rome (or historically the patriarch of Rome), head of the worldwide Cathol ...
's face, and showed him her fanny. She did not, however, appear in ''Little Britain USA. She is 39 years old''


Ashraf The Horse Whisperer

Appearances: Series 3 episode 5 Ashraf is an Indian man working at the local computer shop. He has an unusual way of using a horse to help customers with their IT problems.


B


Mrs B

Appearances: Series 2 episode 5
Catchphrase: "Fetch", "Good boy" Every time she goes out to give refreshment to the builders who are doing work on her garden, she gives them biscuits as if they were a dog. This is by throwing them on the floor or making them do tricks in order to get the biscuit.


Bank robbers

The bank robbers make an appearance in ''Little Britain USA''. The two appear to be very skillful bank robbers, having a quick and simple manner of robbing a bank, with one going in and demanding money while the other drives the getaway vehicle, and a very secluded hideout. However, it becomes clear that the two are actually too timid to rob the bank properly, with the one played by Lucas getting only a handful of desk pens and the one played by Walliams a desk marker saying "Position closed" on the second attempt, rather than money.


Carol Beer

Appearances: Starting in Series 2
Catchphrase: " Computer says no.... (coughs)" as well as offering bizarre substitutes to requests. Carol Beer is a perpetually disillusioned woman who works in a number of jobs that require a very close relationship with her computer, such as a bank clerk, a travel agent or a hospital receptionist. When approached with a reasonable request, such as opening a bank account, a holiday to America or making an appointment, she will type the information into her computer. Upon discovering that the request cannot be met, she will answer with a deadpan "Computer says no." As a travel agent, she would then follow up her refusal with an offer of a strange, and often unhelpful substitute, of the kind that the customer is very unlikely to agree to, such as (when the client asked for a flight to
Orlando Orlando () is a city in the U.S. state of Florida and is the county seat of Orange County. In Central Florida, it is the center of the Orlando metropolitan area, which had a population of 2,509,831, according to U.S. Census Bureau figures r ...
) "I've got a flight to
Guildford Guildford () is a town in west Surrey, around southwest of central London. As of the 2011 census, the town has a population of about 77,000 and is the seat of the wider Borough of Guildford, which had around inhabitants in . The name "Guildf ...
" or (when asked for a boat ride for two people) "There is one place left. Would one of you be prepared to swim alongside?" When she does occasionally offer a helpful alternative (for example, when the recipient wants a flight to
Toronto Toronto ( ; or ) is the capital city of the Provinces and territories of Canada, Canadian province of Ontario. With a recorded population of 2,794,356 in 2021, it is the List of the largest municipalities in Canada by population, most pop ...
, and she offers a flight to
Vancouver Vancouver ( ) is a major city in western Canada, located in the Lower Mainland region of British Columbia. As the most populous city in the province, the 2021 Canadian census recorded 662,248 people in the city, up from 631,486 in 2016. Th ...
), she will make it unhelpful by saying the flight is taxiing now. She is unwilling to use any human initiative beyond checking her computer to help her customers further, and will instead cough in their face to get them to go away. Occasionally, she will amuse herself by being extra unhelpful (such as cancelling a customer's flight plan when he requests a vegetarian option, or telling a child wanting to go to
Disney World The Walt Disney World Resort, also called Walt Disney World or Disney World, is an entertainment resort complex in Bay Lake and Lake Buena Vista, Florida, United States, near the cities of Orlando and Kissimmee. Opened on October 1, 1971, th ...
that the " Mickey Mouse" will just be a man in a suit), finding new ways of swearing in front of children and getting away with it, coughing right in their faces, or just being rude. Another of her trademarks is that, whenever a customer reveals an aspect of their personal lives (such as when a man comments that it's been a while since he saw his daughter, or a couple comment that they have been married for thirty years), she will shrug her shoulders and mutter "Oh." In ''Little Britain Abroad'', Carol was a rep for a holiday to Spain. When a woman became nauseous, and she and her husband got off the coach for fresh air, Carol drove off without them. When a couple wished to book an excursion, Carol said there was one place left, and asked if they’d be prepared to swim alongside. They then complained about Carol, saying that she'd been rude and unhelpful. Carol was furious when she discovered this. After Carol pretended to cry, they agreed to withdraw the complaint, and she called them "dirty shitters". In a deleted scene, she does a karaoke cover of "
I'm So Excited "I'm So Excited" is a song by American vocal group the Pointer Sisters. Jointly written and composed by the sisters in collaboration with Chris Christian, it was originally released in September 1982, reaching number 30 on the US ''Billboard'' ...
" by
the Pointer Sisters The Pointer Sisters are an American pop and R&B singing group from Oakland, California, that achieved mainstream success during the 1970s and 1980s. Their repertoire has included such diverse genres as pop, jazz, electronic music, bebop, blu ...
(where she just repeats the chorus), and the woman loses her temper with her. Carol Beer appears in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'', in which she is the receptionist at a hospital. Her most recent escapades involved offering a child named Danielle Lloyd for double-hip replacement (saying that there is "only one
Danielle Lloyd Danielle Lloyd (formerly O'Hara; born 16 December 1983) is an English model and television personality. A former Miss England (2004) and Miss Great Britain (2006), Lloyd first rose to prominence when she was stripped of her Miss Great Britain ti ...
" using the hospital), verbally abusing and annoying a pregnant woman and her husband, and denying an injured patient an
X-ray X-rays (or rarely, ''X-radiation'') are a form of high-energy electromagnetic radiation. In many languages, it is referred to as Röntgen radiation, after the German scientist Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen, who discovered it in 1895 and named it ' ...
. In her final sketch, she tells an elderly patient that he's listed as deceased, as well as getting frustrated by his slow walking (eventually shouting "Oh, for fuck's sake"). The patient then gives Carol the middle finger after being ordered to move faster. In the 2009
Comic Relief Comic relief is the inclusion of a humorous character, scene, or witty dialogue in an otherwise serious work, often to relieve tension. Definition Comic relief usually means a releasing of emotional or other tension resulting from a comic epis ...
for Red Nose Day, comedian
Catherine Tate Catherine Jane Ford (born 5 December 1969), known professionally as Catherine Tate, is an English actress, comedian and writer. She has won numerous awards for her work on the BBC sketch comedy series ''The Catherine Tate Show'' (2004–2007), ...
stars as Carol's boss, Dawn, who is evaluating Carol to see if she makes standards to keep her job during a
credit crunch A credit crunch (also known as a credit squeeze, credit tightening or credit crisis) is a sudden reduction in the general availability of loans (or credit) or a sudden tightening of the conditions required to obtain a loan from banks. A credit cr ...
. Carol was considered to appear in Lucas and Walliams' new comedy '' Come Fly with Me'', working as a check-in manager for Flylo Airlines, but was rejected as David Walliams didn't want it to be a spinoff of ''Little Britain''.


Letty Bell

Appearances: Series 3 episode 3
Catchphrase: "I love me froggies" and "KILL IT" Letty appears in only one sketch in Series 3, in which she appears to have an obsession for frogs ("froggies") as her house has in it many frog-related novelties, plus she loudly admits it. The sketch shows her birthday. When her friends present her with a real frog, she strangely reacts with fear and bludgeons it to death with a rolling pin. Originally intended as a recurring character, she also appears in several deleted scenes from Series 3. Letty also appears in the ''Little Britain'' video game. In a deleted scene, she lives in a small village called "Slut".


Len Boothe

Appearances: Series 1 episode 7
Catchphrase: "It was just (near a certain location) that my wife Eileen first (did something of a sexual nature)" Len Boothe appears in just one episode of Series 1. He works as the voice-over man on tours of his hometown of Pove. Whenever the tour bus passes a location (i.e. the blacksmiths, the church, the 'Hanging Judge' pub, or the Roman bridge), he tells the people a little bit about the place, and then also says something about what his wife Eileen (they've been married at least 32 years, and the details become more vulgar as the tour proceeds) did to him there: *Church: First kiss. *Pub: Touched her breasts. *Blacksmiths: Performed oral sex. *Bridge: Went up the ' wrong-un'. In Series 1 Deleted Scenes, Len is still working on the bus tours; however, he has a French woman on the bus (presumably Matt Lucas), who keeps needing to sit down when she and her husband get off the bus. And, she repeats this when the passengers get back on. The woman had the same appearance as Bubbles DeVere.


Boris the Babysitter

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episode 8
Catchphrase: "Your baby is fine" Appearing in Episode 8 of Series one, Boris is an intense, but well-meaning Russian man who works as a babysitter. In his appearance, he babysits the son of a couple who are about to go out for a work function. Due to his intimidating appearance and behaviour, the couple are nervous about leaving their baby with him. They decide to take their chances and leave. Despite their worries, Boris turns out to be a great babysitter, spending his time teaching the baby to play the
Balalaika The balalaika (russian: link=no, балала́йка, ) is a Russian stringed musical instrument with a characteristic triangular wooden, hollow body, fretted neck and three strings. Two strings are usually tuned to the same note and the thir ...
, showing it the
silent film A silent film is a film with no synchronized Sound recording and reproduction, recorded sound (or more generally, no audible dialogue). Though silent films convey narrative and emotion visually, various plot elements (such as a setting or era) ...
''
The Battleship Potemkin '' Battleship Potemkin'' (russian: Бронено́сец «Потёмкин», ''Bronenosets Potyomkin''), sometimes rendered as ''Battleship Potyomkin'', is a 1925 Soviet silent drama film produced by Mosfilm. Directed and co-written by ...
'', playing with
Stalin Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin (born Ioseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili; – 5 March 1953) was a Georgian revolutionary and Soviet political leader who led the Soviet Union from 1924 until his death in 1953. He held power as General Secret ...
and
Lenin Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov. ( 1870 – 21 January 1924), better known as Vladimir Lenin,. was a Russian revolutionary, politician, and political theorist. He served as the first and founding head of government of Soviet Russia from 1917 to 19 ...
puppets and dancing around with it on his shoulders. The couple return to find the baby sound asleep with Boris playing his Balalaika to it, and Boris leaves, still acting strangely (and responding to the question "did you have to change him?" with "No, is still the same baby."). The baby then says to the couple "Comrade Stalin salutes you!" Throughout the sketch, Boris mentions having a deceased mother called Piet'kà (Russian: Петька, the informal form of the name Peter) and an evil brother called Josef.


PCs Bryce and Rawlinson

Appearances: Series 2 episode 3
Catchphrase: "We must have the wrong house!" PCs Bryce and Rawlinson appear in Series 2 episode 3, in which they are trying to give some sad news to a Mrs. Harris, whose husband has died in a car accident. In the first sketch, they give the news to the wrong Mrs. Harris, and then laugh hysterically when they learn that they've made a mistake. However, when they give the news to the real Mrs. Harris, they laugh at the memory of their faux-pas. They then decide it's appropriate to share this with the bereaved Mrs. Harris.


Maggie Blackamoor and Judy Pike

Appearances: Starting in Series 2
Catchphrase: Maggie: "Who made this?" Judy: "Maggie, NO!” Maggie and Judy are two ladies from the
Women's Institute The Women's Institute (WI) is a community-based organisation for women in the United Kingdom, Canada, South Africa and New Zealand. The movement was founded in Stoney Creek, Ontario, Canada, by Erland and Janet Lee with Adelaide Hoodless being t ...
who judge certain foods at different voluntary or charitable events in the village of Pox. They keenly partake in refreshments provided by their hosts, but when informed that anyone involved in its preparation is either from a non-white ethnic background or is married to someone of this description, has no home or is not entirely heterosexual (for example, when she finds out some
marmalade Marmalade is a fruit preserve made from the juice and peel of citrus fruits boiled with sugar and water. The well-known version is made from bitter orange. It is also made from lemons, limes, grapefruits, mandarins, sweet oranges, bergamo ...
was made by someone called Sanjana Patel), Maggie proceeds to vomit copiously, often on someone else, as Judy looks on, horrified. Maggie's vomiting is frowned upon by Judy, who often shouts at her to stop, even though she is stupid enough to tell her who made it, or even give it to her in the first place. This portrayal of vomiting strongly emulates the famous '' Monty Python's The Meaning of Life'' sketch, presenting an immensely fat man named
Mr Creosote Mr. Creosote is a fictional character who appears in Monty Python's '' The Meaning of Life''. He is a monstrously obese and rude restaurant patron who is served a vast amount of food and alcohol whilst vomiting repeatedly. After being persuaded ...
who vomits uncontrollably at a very alarming rate (Part VI: The Autumn Years). Generally, Maggie's own habit causes her to become quite cautious when eating some things. These bouts of racism/homophobia, however, are contradicted in ''Little Britain Abroad'' when Maggie and Judy holiday together in Italy and Maggie suggests they kiss (however, she vomits the moment she learns this is lesbian behaviour). Series 3 showed them in a variety of different locations instead of the usual village fairs or church events, such as Maggie visiting Judy at home and Maggie recovering in hospital after a kidney transplant (and vomiting it out again after learning that the donor was called "Mrs. Banerjee"). In one ''Little Britain'' sketch, Maggie's dog vomits instead of its owner (on a Chinese dog). They were main characters in Series 2, but became recurring in Series 3. Prior to the third series, The
National Federation of Women's Institutes The Women's Institute (WI) is a community-based organisation for women in the United Kingdom, Canada, South Africa and New Zealand. The movement was founded in Stoney Creek, Ontario, Canada, by Erland and Janet Lee with Adelaide Hoodless being t ...
objected to this depiction and the BBC replaced the Women's Institute logo and changed the dialogue in subsequent showings of the programme.


C


Sir Bernard Chumley

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 3, 5 and 7
Catchphrases: "Yes I heard it, Kitty!" Sir Bernard Chumley is a faded actor living in
Sandi Toksvig Sandra Birgitte Toksvig (; ; born 3 May 1958) is a Danish-British writer, comedian and broadcaster on British radio, stage and television. She is also a political activist, having co-founded the Women's Equality Party in 2015. She has written ...
House who looks after his sister, Kitty (evidently against his own will), who is disabled after an accident. Bernard is adamant that he isn't responsible for her disability, often telling guests of his innocence even if he hasn't been asked, implying that he had been responsible for her disability. In the first sketch in which he appears, Bernard invites a young actor who has written to him ( Christian Coulson) over to his flat. He then attempts to seduce him, implying that he is homosexual. This is supported by the fact that he has many photographs of young male actors stuck to his wall. Throughout this sketch, he offers the young man various finger foods. He also says that he found the incident in which his sister lost the use of her legs amusing, and insists that he didn't cause the accident. In his second sketch, he is visited by his local
Meals on Wheels Meals on Wheels is a programme that delivers meals to individuals at home who are unable to purchase or prepare their own meals. The name is often used generically to refer to home-delivered meals programmes, not all of which are actually named ...
, who are bringing Kitty her daily meal. When talking about how nice the food was, he talks in the first person before hastily adding: "Kitty said" or "She added". As the lady is leaving, he tells her that the food is "a bit dry" and she catches him in the act of eating the food. In his final sketch, undertakers come to his door to take away the body of Kitty, who has apparently died. However, they then discover she is not really dead and he begs them to "take her anyway". They refuse and he unhappily continues to take care of her. The character of Chumley is probably the oldest '' Little Britain'' character, having appeared in a live-stage show in the early 1990s, his own six-part television series in the late 1990s called '' Sir Bernard's Stately Homes'', and a cameo in '' Shooting Stars''.


Phyllis Church

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA'' episodes 1, 2 and 5
Catchphrase: (in a Mr Doggy voice) "If you love me, you'd do it!" and in a Mr Doggy voice, ends every sketch with "You are one crazy bitch!" Phyllis Church, is an American woman who owns a
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is a British breed of toy dog of spaniel type. Four colours are recognised: Blenheim (chestnut and white), tricolour (black/white/tan), black and tan, and ruby; the coat is smooth and silky. The lifespan is u ...
called Mr Doggy. She often likes to talk to Mr. Doggy, then imitates replies from him using a deep voice (for effect, the camera will zoom onto him when she imitates his replies until later, when it becomes clear that Phyllis is providing them herself). "He" orders her to do naughty or anti-social things such as stripping in public and standing in a trash bin, defecating in the park like her dog or throwing a brick through a shop window. Phyllis and "Mr Doggy" carry on a dialogue as she resists and "he" repeats "his" request, then "he" finally states "if you love me, you'd do it". At the end of each of her sketches she is caught in the act, berated by "Mr Doggy" and she is often arrested by the police. Her character is similar to that of Anne.


Mr. Cleeves

Appearances: Series 1 Mr Cleeves is a traditional-looking yet eccentric teacher at Kelsey
Grammar school A grammar school is one of several different types of school in the history of education in the United Kingdom and other English-speaking countries, originally a school teaching Latin, but more recently an academically oriented secondary school, ...
(a reference to actor
Kelsey Grammer Allen Kelsey Grammer (born February 21, 1955) is an American actor and producer. He gained notoriety and acclaim for his role as psychiatrist Dr. Frasier Crane on the NBC sitcom ''Cheers'' (1984-1993) and its spin-off '' Frasier'' (1993-2004) ...
). Mr Cleeves sets the pupils strange tasks such as finding "the square root of
Popeye Popeye the Sailor Man is a fictional cartoon character created by E. C. Segar, Elzie Crisler Segar.Edward II Edward II (25 April 1284 – 21 September 1327), also called Edward of Caernarfon, was King of England and Lord of Ireland from 1307 until he was deposed in January 1327. The fourth son of Edward I, Edward became the heir apparent to ...
divided by
Henry V Henry V may refer to: People * Henry V, Duke of Bavaria (died 1026) * Henry V, Holy Roman Emperor (1081/86–1125) * Henry V, Duke of Carinthia (died 1161) * Henry V, Count Palatine of the Rhine (c. 1173–1227) * Henry V, Count of Luxembourg (12 ...
=
Hydrogen Peroxide Hydrogen peroxide is a chemical compound with the formula . In its pure form, it is a very pale blue liquid that is slightly more viscous than water. It is used as an oxidizer, bleaching agent, and antiseptic, usually as a dilute solution (3% ...
". He also asks for complete silence during a test, which is later revealed to be a test on
crisps A potato chip (North American English; often just chip) or crisp (British and Irish English) is a thin slice of potato that has been either deep fried, baked, or air fried until crunchy. They are commonly served as a snack, side dish, or ...
, but then he does various loud things himself, like playing the saxophone, vacuuming the classroom and setting off fireworks. He also has trouble with reading (like when he can't pronounce the words in ''
Great Expectations ''Great Expectations'' is the thirteenth novel by Charles Dickens and his penultimate completed novel. It depicts the education of an orphan nicknamed Pip (Great Expectations), Pip (the book is a ''bildungsroman''; a coming-of-age story). It ...
'', he just says "Shall we just watch the
video Video is an Electronics, electronic medium for the recording, copying, playback, broadcasting, and display of moving picture, moving image, visual Media (communication), media. Video was first developed for mechanical television systems, whi ...
?"), has a habit of making the boys in his class read aloud at random times, even in mid-word, writes his name (Mr Cleeves) as "Mr Wells" and his subject (
Biology Biology is the scientific study of life. It is a natural science with a broad scope but has several unifying themes that tie it together as a single, coherent field. For instance, all organisms are made up of cells that process hereditar ...
) as "French" and very roughly throws the exercise books at his pupils. It is implied that he deliberately marks correct answers as wrong. He also introduces strange new pupils into his class such as a dog, a boy from the 17th century and an adult. The school itself is bizarre as it arranges trips to the moon for only £5 entry fee, pilfers £36 million during small car park jumble sales, has recreational and lunch periods only a few seconds long and has a robot for a careers advisor, which claims that there will be no jobs for human beings in the future. A major character in Series 1, Mr Cleeves made his last appearance in the programme in episode 8.


The Coach

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA'' episodes 2, 4, 5 and 6 The Coach works in Wilderness Lodge Boot Camp where Vicky Pollard is sent to after burning down
Disneyland Disneyland is a theme park in Anaheim, California. Opened in 1955, it was the first theme park opened by The Walt Disney Company and the only one designed and constructed under the direct supervision of Walt Disney. Disney initially envisi ...
. She is interrupted by Vicky during Roll Call and, rather than reacting with annoyance, she patiently waits for her to finish before claiming that she hasn't a clue what Vicky has said. Vicky stays behind to express concern over one of the girls being possibly lesbian. She is told to 'run' by the coach. The next sketch involving the coach, she catches Vicky smoking in the bathroom while ordering the other girls to bed and Vicky mentions a girl stealing an eyeliner pencil, and drawing on the wall of a big fat woman with a penis and writing the coach's name on it. Vicky's hair then caught fire (she had hidden the cigarette in her hair) which made the coach very worried. Next, she caught Vicky trying to escape where she mentions that she takes attempts to escape very seriously. She then increases Vicky's sentence by another 6 months, mentioning that she was due to be released the next day. In the last sketch, Vicky goes to hospital and loses her voice after jumping off the chapel roof. The coach appears to be very caring for Vicky (though Vicky reacts by telling her to 'get off me you dirty esbian.)


Counsellor

Appearances: Series 2 The
Counsellor Counselor or counsellor may refer to: A professional In diplomacy and government * Counsellor of State, senior member of the British royal family to whom the Monarch can delegate some functions in case of unavailability * Counselor (dipl ...
made several appearances in ''Little Britain'' Series 2, in which he is always seen in his office, talking to patients. Upon his patients leaving, he disregards the rule of confidentiality and promptly picks up his telephone and calls his friend, to whom he then relates what the patient has just told him and insults the patient. He also makes a few appearances in the Deleted Scenes. The Series 2 Script Book names him as "Dr Lowe."


Kenny Craig

Appearances: Radio Show; Appeared in first 2 series
Catchphrase: "Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into my eyes (snaps fingers) you're under." (After dialogue relating to situation), "3, 2, 1... (snaps fingers) you're back in the room" Kenny Craig is a stage
hypnotist Hypnosis is a human condition involving focused attention (the selective attention/selective inattention hypothesis, SASI), reduced peripheral awareness, and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion.In 2015, the American Psychologica ...
who often uses his powers purely for his own ends, such as beating his mother in a game of
Scrabble ''Scrabble'' is a word game in which two to four players score points by placing tiles, each bearing a single letter, onto a game board divided into a 15×15 grid of squares. The tiles must form words that, in crossword fashion, read left ...
(by playing the non-existent word "
cupboard A cupboard is a piece of furniture for enclosing dishware or grocery items that are stored in a home. The term gradually evolved from its original meaning: an open-shelved side table for displaying dishware, more specifically plates, cups and sa ...
y", which, according to him, meant "cupboard-like" and hypnotising her into believing it is a real word), getting dates from and seducing women and gaining or avoiding spending money. In most of the early series, Kenny Craig sketches are based on him hypnotising one or more people into doing things or accepting as fact a ridiculous premise, some of whom aren't really hypnotised, but were merely playing along, or he may use his powers to get out of an awkward situation (such as hypnotising everyone present when he accidentally destroys a man's car). His powers appear to improve as the series progresses, however; in later episodes he manages feats such as putting on a hypnosis show – in which he does nothing but hypnotise the audience into believing they have actually witnessed an incredible hypnosis show before sitting back to read a book for an hour (
Andy McNab Steven Billy Mitchell, (born 28 December 1959), usually known by the pseudonym and pen-name of Andy McNab, is a novelist and former British Army infantry soldier. He came into public prominence in 1993 when he published a book entitled ''Brav ...
's ''Bravo Two Zero''); finally taking them out of their trance at the timetabled end of the show. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', while holidaying in
Portugal Portugal, officially the Portuguese Republic, In recognized minority languages of Portugal: :* mwl, República Pertuesa is a country located on the Iberian Peninsula, in Southwestern Europe, and whose territory also includes the Macaronesian ...
, he is hypnotised by Paul McKenna (who does this in Kenny's trademark 'Look into my eyes...' style) into losing his powers of hypnosis, living on the street and digging through dustbins to find a half-eaten box of KFC. He made an appearance in ''Little Britain Live'', but not in the USA adaption of the programme, though he does appear in a deleted scene on the ''LBUSA'' DVD, using his hypnosis to get a woman in a supermarket to agree to go out with him, go to his show and then make love with him at a motel.


Latymer Crown

Appearances: Radio Series, Pilot Episode and Series 1 Deleted Scenes. Latymer Crown is a masseur who works on a patient of hers called Jonathan, a very stress prone patient. Latymer tries to relax Jonathan by using the strangest methods, like telling gruesome stories and thoughts, screaming a horrible lullaby and playing blood curdling music which she found relaxing but others find tense. In one episode, she attempts to make Jonathan relax by using the following mental image. "I'd like you to think of a gang of children throwing stones at a pensioner. He's weeping softly, softly weeping, the children are lifting him, and putting him into a wheelie bin. This is being pushed down a hill and the children have let go." She is then surprised that Jonathan is not relaxed.


D


Barbara Dawes

Barbara is the sister of Fat Fighters weight loss instructor Marjorie Dawes. She attends Marjorie's group in one episode, but isn't fat.


Marjorie Dawes

Appearances: Radio Show; Starting in Series 1
Catchphrases: "Oh man I love the cake!", "Dust?", "Oh, man, you is fat!", "'ave we got any neeew members?", "It's not easy is it?", "Hello Fatties!", "Do it again", "But YOU are sumin' else!", "Man, you fat, you fatty fatty fatty!", "Say it again?" "Ska-roo you!" Marjorie Dawes is a woman who runs a branch of a weight loss group called 'Fat Fighters' (a group similar to real-life
Weight Watchers Weight Watchers or WW may refer to: * Weight Watchers (diet), a comprehensive weight loss program and diet * WW International WW International, Inc., formerly Weight Watchers International, Inc., is a global company headquartered in the U.S. tha ...
), despite weighing approximately 15 stone 8½ pounds (99 kg) herself. She is notoriously rude and mean-spirited, especially towards the members of Fat Fighters, of whom she hypocritically makes fun for being fat. Her sketches featured guest appearances from Vanessa Feltz (who called her a "total cow") and
Derek Martin Derek Martin (born Derek William Rapp; 11 April 1933) is an English former actor. Beginning his career as a stuntman, he moved into acting and played many roles on UK television. One of his most widely known roles is Charlie Slater on the BB ...
in Series Two and Three respectively. The regular members include Pat, Paul, Tania (the oldest member of the group), several unnamed members and an Indian woman named Meera. In Series 2, Pat and Paul start a relationship and the two get married. It is also implied in a Series 1 episode that Marjorie had had a brief sexual encounter with Paul, after which she berates him for it. One trademark of the sketches is that Marjorie pretends not to hear or understand what Meera says, needing another member (usually Tania), to interpret, or mishearing it as something else. Other trademark actions of hers are misspelling "chocolate" (spelling it "choclit," "choglud" or "chucklet"), and blatantly overeating despite attempts to hide it, as well as avoiding the subject of her own weight whenever it comes under scrutiny – such as shouting at her superior at Fat Fighters Head Office. She even tried to pretend her trolley (which was full of food that is high in fat) was someone else's when she ran into Paul in her local supermarket, and later when Meera turns out to be the cashier. In one sketch from Series 3, Marjorie had a fake tan that went wrong and made her skin orange. This causes her members to take revenge and be mean to her by suggesting orange-coloured or flavoured binge foods such as "Paul:
Terry's Chocolate Orange Terry's Chocolate Orange is a chocolate product created by Terry's in 1932 at Terry's Chocolate Works in York, England. The brand has changed ownership several times, and production was moved to Eastern Europe in 2005. Since 2018, the Terry' ...
, Tania:
Tango Tango is a partner dance and social dance that originated in the 1880s along the Río de la Plata, the natural border between Argentina and Uruguay. The tango was born in the impoverished port areas of these countries as the result of a combina ...
, Meera:
marmalade Marmalade is a fruit preserve made from the juice and peel of citrus fruits boiled with sugar and water. The well-known version is made from bitter orange. It is also made from lemons, limes, grapefruits, mandarins, sweet oranges, bergamo ...
(which Marjorie writes as conserves) and Pat: satsumas". Marjorie then calls Pat a fat cow. In the final episode of series 3, all the Fat Fighters attendees desert the group ''en masse'' after finally growing tired of Marjorie's hurtful remarks and poor weight loss advice. Marjorie is shocked at this. Marjorie appeared in ''Little Britain Abroad'', where she went on an exchange to America and attended a meeting in Miami. A new member of the group was the local sheriff, who was less tolerant of Marjorie's rudeness and, after being pushed too far in a matter of minutes after being called " Boss Hogg," arrested her. Meanwhile, Marjorie's Texan counterpart, Blanche Chuckatuck (portrayed by David Walliams) went to take Marjorie's group in the UK. Although Blanche Tuckatuck was much more polite, more kind and gave more helpful weight-loss advice than Marjorie, she had one serious flaw – she was a member of the
Ku Klux Klan The Ku Klux Klan (), commonly shortened to the KKK or the Klan, is an American white supremacist, right-wing terrorist, and hate group whose primary targets are African Americans, Jews, Latinos, Asian Americans, Native Americans, and Ca ...
. Like Marjorie, she was also racist to Meera and pretends not to understand her. It is also noticeable that the narrator, in his voiceovers, expresses contempt towards people who are overweight, much like Marjorie's own contempt. Marjorie returns to America in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'' and a new aspect of her personality is shown – she is also homophobic, as seen when
Rosie O'Donnell Roseann O'Donnell (born March 21, 1962) is an American comedian, television producer, actress, author, and television personality. She began her comedy career as a teenager and received her breakthrough on the television series '' Star Search'' ...
attends a meeting and gets her own taste of Marjorie's medicine. As with Meera in the UK series, she pretends not to understand a Mexican member of the group, whom she also refers to as an
illegal immigrant Illegal immigration is the migration of people into a country in violation of the immigration laws of that country or the continued residence without the legal right to live in that country. Illegal immigration tends to be financially upwar ...
and that Marjorie believes that the member is from the
Philippines The Philippines (; fil, Pilipinas, links=no), officially the Republic of the Philippines ( fil, Republika ng Pilipinas, links=no), * bik, Republika kan Filipinas * ceb, Republika sa Pilipinas * cbk, República de Filipinas * hil, Republ ...
. She appeared in four of the episodes and a deleted scene in which she convinces Slimmer of the Year Lisa Warren (
Sarah Chalke Sarah Louise Christine Chalke (; born August 27, 1976) is a Canadian actress and model. She is known for portraying Elliot Reid on the NBC/ ABC comedy series '' Scrubs'', the second Becky Conner on the ABC sitcom '' Roseanne'', Stella Zinman o ...
) that her
donuts A doughnut or donut () is a type of food made from leavened fried dough. It is popular in many countries and is prepared in various forms as a sweet snack that can be homemade or purchased in bakeries, supermarkets, food stalls, and franc ...
are low-calorie, then cut off a large part of her hair, because she insulted her. Marjorie made several TV appearances in other shows before ''Little Britain'', most notably, appearing as the mother of George Dawes, the overgrown baby who was resident drummer and scorekeeper on '' Shooting Stars'', also played by Lucas. George Dawes is not mentioned in any way in any version of ''Little Britain''. She also made an appearance at the marriage of
David Walliams David Edward Williams (born 20 August 1971), known professionally as David Walliams, is an English comedian, actor, writer, and television personality. He is best known for his work with Matt Lucas on the BBC sketch comedy series '' Little ...
and Lara Stone. Marjorie's name is a reference to the
nursery rhyme A nursery rhyme is a traditional poem or song for children in Britain and many other countries, but usage of the term dates only from the late 18th/early 19th century. The term Mother Goose rhymes is interchangeable with nursery rhymes. From ...
,
See Saw Margery Daw "See Saw Margery Daw" is an English language nursery rhyme, folk song and playground singing game. The rhyme first appeared in its modern form in ''Mother Goose's Melody'', published in London in around 1765. It has a Roud Folk Song Index num ...
.


Ellie-Grace Day

Appearances: Little Britain USA episodes 1, 4, 5 and 6
Catchphrase: "I love you more than (something nice)", repeats twice until "I love you more than (something vulgar)". Ellie-Grace is a caricatured "sweet" little American school girl who appears regularly in ''Little Britain USA''. When parting with her mother for any particular reason, such as a trip to a brownie camp or having her
tonsil The tonsils are a set of lymphoid organs facing into the aerodigestive tract, which is known as Waldeyer's tonsillar ring and consists of the adenoid tonsil, two tubal tonsils, two palatine tonsils, and the lingual tonsils. These organs pla ...
s removed, they will share love sentiments (or their "I love you more than" game). While these will start off with "nice" things, she innocently comes up with vulgar ones that are often sex-related (for example, "I love you more than transsexual porn"), much to the horror of her mother. In their final sketch they go over to a friend's house for sleepover. As they are parting, Ellie-Grace (who has been warned by her mother not to come up with any vulgar love sentiments) pressures her mother into sharing one more round of love sentiments, which she reluctantly complies with. However, just as it looks fine (when Ellie-Grace's sentiments turn out not to be vulgar), her mother accidentally comes up with one herself. This then traumatizes Ellie-Grace and her friends, who are then comforted by her friends' mother. The two appeared alongside
Robbie Williams Robert Peter Williams (born 13 February 1974) is an English singer and songwriter. He found fame as a member of the pop group Take That from 1990 to 1995, and achieved commercial success after launching a solo career in 1996. His debut stu ...
in the ''Little Britain'' Comic Relief sketch for Red Nose Day 2009. Robbie played Ellie's best friend Candy-Marie in a sketch which parodies ''
The Exorcist ''The Exorcist'' is a 1973 American supernatural horror film directed by William Friedkin and written for the screen by William Peter Blatty, based on his 1971 novel of the same name. It stars Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Lee J. Cobb, Kitt ...
''.


Bubbles DeVere

Appearances: Since Series 2
Catchphrase: "Call me Bubbles darling, everybody does!", (''clapping hands'') "Champagne! Champagne for everyone!", "'Ello dahlin!", "Why don't you take a photo? It'll last longer!" Bubbles DeVere is a
bald Hair loss, also known as alopecia or baldness, refers to a loss of hair from part of the head or body. Typically at least the head is involved. The severity of hair loss can vary from a small area to the entire body. Inflammation or scarr ...
and morbidly
obese Obesity is a medical condition, sometimes considered a disease, in which excess body fat has accumulated to such an extent that it may negatively affect health. People are classified as obese when their body mass index (BMI)—a person's we ...
lady, who permanently takes up residency at Hill Grange Health Spa in Trump. She has a habit of taking her clothes off, primarily to obstruct any attempt to get her to pay off her tremendous debts and cost of living, but also because she believes she is exceptionally beautiful. In Series 2, the owner of the spa, Mr. Hutton (Walliams) tries frequently to get her to pay for the increasing cost of her stay at the spa to no avail (Bubbles is prepared to go to any length to avoid doing so, including hiding so long in a tanning bed that she burns her entire body the colour of charcoal). Bubbles seeks to emulate the upper classes; she mispronounces many English words 'a la française' and is unable to pronounce 'v' in certain words (' diworce'). It is also frequently implied she is some kind of
debutante A debutante, also spelled débutante, ( ; from french: débutante , "female beginner") or deb is a young woman of aristocratic or upper-class family background who has reached maturity and, as a new adult, is presented to society at a formal ...
, despite being 43 years old and divorced. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', she travels to
Monte Carlo Monte Carlo (; ; french: Monte-Carlo , or colloquially ''Monte-Carl'' ; lij, Munte Carlu ; ) is officially an administrative area of the Principality of Monaco, specifically the ward of Monte Carlo/Spélugues, where the Monte Carlo Casino i ...
to stay with
Ronnie Corbett Ronald Balfour Corbett (4 December 1930 – 31 March 2016) was a Scottish actor, broadcaster, comedian and writer. He had a long association with Ronnie Barker in the BBC television comedy sketch show '' The Two Ronnies''. He achieved promin ...
, whom she believes to be one of her oldest friends in spite of the fact he does not know her, and she later pays a visit to a Swiss boutique at a ski resort to borrow a dress for a dinner party, but ends up ruining the dress upon wearing it. In the same sketch, to show off to the shop assistant, she pretends to be phoned by novelist
Jilly Cooper Jilly Cooper, CBE (born 21 February 1937), is an English author. She began her career as a journalist and wrote numerous works of non-fiction before writing several romance novels, the first of which appeared in 1975. She is most famous for w ...
. In ''Little Britain USA'', she is shown travelling on a cruise ship racking up huge debts in the casino (revealing that she is also a gambling addict). Each time she loses a bet, she gambles everything on the roulette wheel, including her earrings, her clothes and even her wig. She later tries to seduce the captain of the cruise ship to talk him out of her paying gambling debts, but only to be kicked out. Later in her third and final appearance, she was put off the ship but swam back (also revealing that she is a champion swimmer), and tries to seduce a rich man. She also appeared in '' Little Britain Live''.


Desiree DeVere

Appearances: Since Series 3
Catchphrase: "Baby" (as opposed to Bubbles' "Dahlin" and usually pronounced "bebby", "babby" or "bubby") Desiree Rara (pronounced "de-zee-ray") is the rival of Bubbles and the new wife of Bubbles Mellow' ex-husband, Roman Mr Blobby. Desiree Rara, like Bubbles Mellow, is an obese woman (larger even than Bubbles) who frequently appears naked, wears only a small silver dress and is bald (though, like Bubbles, she wears a wig), but is a lot more spiteful than Bubbles. Roman enjoys watching the two of them wrestling naked. He divorced Bubbles because she lost an amount of weight. She is believed to be former Miss Botswana and an ex-Olympic Showjumper. On one occasion, when she bends over to search for her wig, Bubbles remarks, referring to Desiree's anus, "Oh, it's like the
Black Hole of Calcutta The Black Hole of Calcutta was a dungeon in Fort William, Calcutta, measuring , in which troops of Siraj-ud-Daulah, the Nawab of Bengal, held British prisoners of war on the night of 20 June 1756. John Zephaniah Holwell, one of the British ...
!", to which Desiree replies "How dare you make personal remarks about my a-hole!".


Roman DeVere

Appearances: Since Series 3 :''See
Desiree DeVere This is a list of characters for the British television and radio sketch show ''Little Britain'' (and its American spin-off, ''Little Britain USA''). Overview ;Key : Characters that appear for only one sketch are not listed in the table A ...
, above'' Roman DeVere is the husband of Desiree DeVere, and the ex-husband of Bubbles DeVere. He gets frustrated when Bubbles tries to interrupt his and Desiree's honeymoon. He appears to have some sort of a fetish for fat women as he enjoys seeing Bubbles and Desiree wrestle in the nude, and in one sketch, got an
erection An erection (clinically: penile erection or penile tumescence) is a physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firm, engorged, and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular, ...
after seeing Bubbles naked (getting a slap from Desiree on it due to a believed sex scandal).


Michael Dinner

Appearances: Series 2, Episodes 4 and 5 Michael Dinner (also known as The Posh Diner) is a man who is always seen in a restaurant. In each of his sketches he is approached by a waiter and gruffly orders posh dishes, before ordering something basic or mass-market (such as Um Bongo,
Hubba Bubba Hubba Bubba is a brand of bubble gum produced by Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company, a subsidiary of Mars, Incorporated. Introduced in the United States in 1979, the bubble gum got its name from the phrase "Hubba Hubba", which some military personnel in ...
or
Monster Munch Monster Munch are a British baked corn snack created by Smiths in 1977 and manufactured by Walkers. They are aimed at children and widely consumed in the United Kingdom. Flavours include Roast Beef, Pickled Onion and Flamin' Hot. On the issue ...
) as the waiter walks away. Michael also appeared on the
Comic Relief Comic relief is the inclusion of a humorous character, scene, or witty dialogue in an otherwise serious work, often to relieve tension. Definition Comic relief usually means a releasing of emotional or other tension resulting from a comic epis ...
episode and in the deleted scenes of the second series. His name is a reference to film director
Michael Winner Robert Michael Winner (30 October 1935 – 21 January 2013) was a British filmmaker, writer, and media personality. He is known for directing numerous action, thriller, and black comedy films in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, including several co ...
and was revealed in the ''Little Britain''
Top Trumps ''Top Trumps'' is a card game first published in 1978. Each card contains a list of numerical data, and the aim of the game is to compare these values to try to trump and win an opponent's card. A wide variety of different packs of ''Top Tru ...
cards.


The Divorced Couple

Appearances: Little Britain USA episode 2 Making one appearance in the U.S version of the show, a couple are divorcing because of the wife's homosexuality. As they are packing her belongings into boxes, the husband discovers numerous books, toys and essentials that suggest her homosexuality that she kept hidden from him. At the end of the sketch he accidentally uncovers a book of his entitled " Sir Ian McKellen's book of men's bottoms," indicating that he is homosexual as well.


Mr Doggy

Mr Doggy is the dog owned by Phyllis Church.


Doug

Appearances: Series 2
Catchphrase: "Stay where you are!" and "50 words for
cocaine Cocaine (from , from , ultimately from Quechua: ''kúka'') is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant mainly used recreationally for its euphoric effects. It is primarily obtained from the leaves of two Coca species native to South Am ...
! Go!" Doug makes only one appearance in the entire series. He was shown to be giving firm and very tough lectures at a drug rehabilitation centre, while kindly telling them that he will help them overcome their habits. During the entire appearance, a lady in the rehab tries to leave, insisting she is at the wrong lecture, but he refuses her request each time. He made several more appearances in the Deleted Scenes of Series 2, in which his mother appears at his lecture and indicates that his supposed drug addictions are all made up and he has never actually done hard drugs. A more polite version of Doug appears in a deleted Peter Andre sketch from Series 1.


E


Mrs Emery

Appearances: Since Series 3
Catchphrase: "Oh, 'ello dear!", as well as urinating uncontrollably Mrs Emery is a friendly old lady who is never one to back out of a nice long chat. Her sketches typically show her in some public place such as a library, supermarket or post office, and meeting someone with whom she is familiar or acquainted to there and then starts chatting to them. While conversing, she then starts urinating uncontrollably, much to the shock of the person in question. She is oblivious to her constant urinating and always believes the mess she leaves behind is the result of a pipe leak or someone else's behaviour. In her final sketch, a doctor, after examining her leg (and seeing her uncontrollable urinating), asks her if she has anything else wrong with her, which she denies. Her sketches attracted controversy soon after the launch of the third series when they were criticised by the UK
incontinence Incontinence or Incontinent may refer to: * Fecal incontinence, the involuntary excretion of bowel contents * Urinary incontinence, the involuntary excretion of urine * Lack of moderation or self-control, especially related to sexual desire - see ...
charity, Incontact.


Eileen and Janet

Appearances: Series 1, Episode 5 Eileen and Janet appear only in one episode in Series 1. In their sketch, Eileen (Lucas) is consoling her sister, Janet (Walliams), who has recently lost her husband, Ivar. Throughout the sketch, a mention of certain and sometimes very simple things, such as a visit to the shops, reminds Janet of Ivar and makes her start sobbing, while Eileen patiently consoles her. At the end of the sketch, she firmly reminds her sister that they had decided not to talk about Ivar's death. They originally appeared in the radio show. The characters appear in the Series 1 DVD extra "What does Britain mean to you?".


F


Linda Flint

Appearances: Since Series 2
Catchphrases: "Martin, it's Linda", "How can I describe him/her?", "That's right, ''(insulting epithet)''" Linda is a university counsellor who always has a student in her office asking for something, usually course-related. Linda calls a man named Martin ( unseen and unheard to the audience) to grant the request and is asked to describe the student in question. While she often begins with complimentary or basic descriptions (such as the colour of the hair or skin, good personalities or what they're wearing), she will then use descriptions that mock the student's culture or appearance or anything about them outstanding, such as a mole on their chin or their lack of hair, and using an insulting epithet to describe them, such as "big fat lesbian," "ching-chong Chinaman", "Ali Bongo", "Fatty Fatty Boom Boom", "the
Oompa Loompa This is a list of characters in the 1964 Roald Dahl book '' Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'', his 1972 sequel '' Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator'', and the former's film adaptations, '' Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory'' (1971) and ...
", " Magnum, P.I.", and " BALDY!" after the kinder words fail, much to the shock of the students in question. Her office is decorated with counter-cultural and
Communist Communism (from Latin la, communis, lit=common, universal, label=none) is a far-left sociopolitical, philosophical, and economic ideology and current within the socialist movement whose goal is the establishment of a communist society, a ...
paraphernalia (a bust of
Lenin Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov. ( 1870 – 21 January 1924), better known as Vladimir Lenin,. was a Russian revolutionary, politician, and political theorist. He served as the first and founding head of government of Soviet Russia from 1917 to 19 ...
and several Soviet flags). In the last episode of Series 3, all of the students she had insulted in Series 2 and 3 came to tell her they wanted to place a formal complaint about her, but when she called Martin to sort it out, she referred to them as "the whole cast of ''
Fraggle Rock ''Fraggle Rock'' (also known as ''Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock'' or ''Fraggle Rock with Jim Henson's Muppets'') is a children's musical fantasy comedy puppet television series about interconnected societies of Muppet creatures, created by Jim He ...
''" The tables were turned on her in a ''Little Britain Abroad'' deleted scene when her Australian counterpart, Germain, remarked that she had greying hair, smelt a bit musky, needed a shave and was on the wrong side of
menopause Menopause, also known as the climacteric, is the time in women's lives when menstrual periods stop permanently, and they are no longer able to bear children. Menopause usually occurs between the age of 47 and 54. Medical professionals often d ...
("The dried up old witch"), sending Linda out in tears. She also appears in deleted scenes in which she names a boy with half his right arm missing "Handy Andy" and a student with an upturned nose a "pig" (though she made no comments to Martin about the latter).


Sir Norman Fry

Appearances: Since Series 3
Catchphrase: "As far as I'm concerned, that is the end of the matter. Thank you." Sir Norman Fry is a
Conservative Conservatism is a cultural, social, and political philosophy that seeks to promote and to preserve traditional institutions, practices, and values. The central tenets of conservatism may vary in relation to the culture and civilization in ...
MP who seems to be traditional, and has a wife, Camilla (Matt Lucas), and two children. He is always issuing statements to the press regarding embarrassing situations in which he has apparently been caught. His statements are written and delivered in an ineffective attempt to make his misadventures sound innocent and justifiable, using phrases such as "on entering the room, my clothes accidentally fell off" or "I followed the gentlemen into the toilet cubicle to discuss foreign policy", and to cover up his apparent homosexual urges, since all of his statements refer to encounters with other men. He always makes his statements outside his country manor, with his wife and children present, and will proceed to kiss his wife after finishing his statements. Although initially supportive, his wife grows irritable as he issues more and more statements, and she eventually walks away without even giving him a chance to kiss her. An American counterpart of Sir Norman Fry,
Republican Party Republican Party is a name used by many political parties around the world, though the term most commonly refers to the United States' Republican Party. Republican Party may also refer to: Africa *Republican Party (Liberia) * Republican Part ...
Senator White, appears in episodes 5 and 6 of ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
''. Fry is somewhat similar to the ''Viz'' character
Baxter Basics The following is a list of recurring or notable one-off strips from the British adult spoof comic magazine '' Viz''. This list is by no means complete as with each issue new characters/strips/stories are introduced. A–E *Abel Unstable – ...
.


G


Gary and Jason

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 1, 2, 7 and 8
Catchphrase: Jason: "Heellloooo..." Gary and Jason are two working-class friends who always visit Gary's grandmother, on whom Jason has a crush. Jason always tries to play on to Gary's grandmother, be it by performing the Heimlich maneuver on her or seeing her to the bathroom or wiping her spillings and sucking her toes, the latter of which horrifies Gary to the point of ordering him out of her house. When Jason later visited Gary's grandmother, he was aroused to see her kissing her sister, which was further enhanced by her offering a
sandwich A sandwich is a food typically consisting of vegetables, sliced cheese or meat, placed on or between slices of bread, or more generally any dish wherein bread serves as a container or wrapper for another food type. The sandwich began as a po ...
, which he interpreted as the sex position. A sketch is included in the deleted scenes on the Series 2 DVD, where Jason is having sex with Gary's grandmother. This sketch was originally planned for the TV series, but Matt and David have censored themselves by not showing it.


George and Sandra

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA'' episodes 1, 2, 4 and 6
Catchphrase: George: "Come on you cunt, you've ruined my life, I really am now just waiting for you to die! Help me out here you boring old cow." George and Sandra are a middle-aged English couple celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in the United States. However, their marriage has deteriorated to the point that they often remain in an awkward silence which George tries to break in the best tone he can give, but when this doesn't work, he comments on how he dislikes her. In their second sketch he compares their current relationship to that of a pair of primates in a zoo which they visit on a daytrip. Sandra remains motionless and completely silent, uttering only one word throughout the entire series ("ornithophobic" which she used to remind George of her fear of birds). In the last of their sketches, they return to the United Kingdom and, when George leaves for their aeroplane, Sandra shows no sign of wanting to follow.


Bing Gordyn

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA''
Catchphrases: "I went to the Moon!" Bing Gordyn is the eighth and second to last man to walk on
the Moon The Moon is Earth's only natural satellite. It is the fifth largest satellite in the Solar System and the largest and most massive relative to its parent planet, with a diameter about one-quarter that of Earth (comparable to the width of ...
. As he has a moustache, he likes to call himself as "the first man with a moustache to walk on the moon". He is exceedingly bitter about the fact that he is largely unknown to the general public, as opposed to
Neil Armstrong Neil Alden Armstrong (August 5, 1930 – August 25, 2012) was an American astronaut and aeronautical engineer who became the first person to walk on the Moon in 1969. He was also a naval aviator, test pilot, and university professor. ...
. In his first appearance, he is speaking to a
Boy Scout A Scout (in some countries a Boy Scout, Girl Scout, or Pathfinder) is a child, usually 10–18 years of age, participating in the worldwide Scouting movement. Because of the large age and development span, many Scouting associations have split ...
troop about the moon, but when they show a lack of interest and the questions turn to other astronauts like Armstrong and
Buzz Aldrin Buzz Aldrin (; born Edwin Eugene Aldrin Jr.; January 20, 1930) is an American former astronaut, engineer and fighter pilot. He made three spacewalks as pilot of the 1966 Gemini 12 mission. As the Lunar Module ''Eagle'' pilot on the 1969 ...
, he lashes out at the boys, asking them if they'd ever done anything important like walk (or in the case of one wheelchair-using boy, roll) on the moon. In his second sketch, it is shown that he arranges plumbers and other handymen to his house to try and impress them about his exploits, but always fails to do so. In his final sketch, he pulls out a shotgun on a university student writing an essay on the theory of the faked moon landings and, for once, mentions the negative details of his trip ("It was ''real'' cold, the food was ''horrible'', I ''threw up'' in my helmet!"), before chasing him out of his house and yelling "I went to the goddamn ''Moon''!" He is similar to the character Denver Mills as they both are Walliams characters and both hold major achievements that nobody else cares about. In real life, twelve men walked on the Moon. The eighth was the late
James Irwin James Benson Irwin (March 17, 1930 – August 8, 1991) was an American astronaut, aeronautical engineer, test pilot, and a United States Air Force Aviator, pilot. He served as Apollo Lunar Module pilot for Apollo 15, the fourth human lunar ...
, the second to last was
Harrison Schmitt Harrison Hagan Schmitt (born July 3, 1935) is an American geologist, retired NASA astronaut, university professor, former U.S. senator from New Mexico, and the most recent living person—and only person without a background in military aviation� ...
.


Edward and Samantha Grant

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 5 and 7 Edward Grant is a
schoolteacher A teacher, also called a schoolteacher or formally an educator, is a person who helps students to acquire knowledge, competence, or virtue, via the practice of teaching. ''Informally'' the role of teacher may be taken on by anyone (e.g. whe ...
married to his ex-pupil Samantha. Their marriage had not gone down at all well with Samantha's parents in the early days, but they now claim that they share an ordinary marriage just like any other. However, Edward behaves as though Samantha were still a school pupil, saying things such as "the bell is a signal for me, not for you" upon the doorbell ringing and "you copied Nigella Lawson's work!" upon Samantha's revelation that she used a
Nigella Lawson Nigella Lucy Lawson (born 6 January 1960) is an English food writer and television cook. She attended Godolphin and Latymer School, London. After graduating from the University of Oxford, where she was a member of Lady Margaret Hall, Lawson st ...
sorbet recipe. In their final sketch, Edward tells Samantha that he will be out the next day and that another teacher will be covering for him, much to her shock. They appear in a few sketches in the Series 1 deleted scenes, but Edward had a different appearance compared to his sketches in the TV Series.


H


Eddie (Emily) Howard

Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1
Catchphrase: "I'm a lady! That's what I am, a lady! I do lady things!" and sometimes ending long statements with "... and shit." Emily, whose real name is Eddie Howard, is an awkward and very unconvincing transvestite. She has only ever been acknowledged as a woman once in the entire series (the man in question then caught her in the male bathroom of the pub he was at). Rather than trying to be like a modern woman, Emily wears outdated, Victorian frocks and her behaviour follows that of the out-dated Victorian stereotype, including talking in an exaggeratedly high-pitched voice, an equally high-pitched nervous laugh, using the word "lady" as an adjective for almost everything and feigning a lack of strength, which only makes her even less convincing. Additionally, she is in the habit of using French words in normal conversation. Most sketches involving Emily revolve around the performing of stereotypically male behaviour (such as fixing a car or playing football) in spite of her appearance, or exaggerated attempts to persuade others that she is a woman and to allow her to perform exclusively female behaviour (e.g. entering a women's changing room). From the second series onwards, Emily has best friend
Florence Florence ( ; it, Firenze ) is a city in Central Italy and the capital city of the Tuscany region. It is the most populated city in Tuscany, with 383,083 inhabitants in 2016, and over 1,520,000 in its metropolitan area.Bilancio demografico ...
as a companion and is teaching her how to pretend to be like a lady. Emily appears alone in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
''. In her first sketch, she attempts to become a model for an art class, but is forced to pose with no clothes on, thus being forced to admit that she is not a lady. And she also meets Sting where she sings and even kisses him. In her third sketch, she is arrested and, due to the seriousness of the situation, Eddie Howard is forced to admit that he's a male, much to his frustration. It is also here that it is revealed that Eddie has a wife and three kids, one of which is named Tommy. In her final sketch, she blind dates another man, who accidentally drives off with her wig. Even though Emily is one of the series primary characters, neither Emily nor Florence appeared in ''Little Britain Abroad''. Emily later appears in a sketch for Sport Relief 2016 where she trained
Peter Crouch Peter James Crouch (born 30 January 1981) is an English former professional footballer who played as a striker. He was capped 42 times by the England national team between 2005 and 2010, scoring 22 goals for his country during that time, and a ...
on how to be a lady.


I


Ian and Ian, The Record Breakers

Appearances: Series 1 At the end of each show in Series 1, they try to set a
world record A world record is usually the best global and most important performance that is ever recorded and officially verified in a specific skill, sport, or other kind of activity. The book '' Guinness World Records'' and other world records organizati ...
, but end up not meeting the requirements or not having essential things. For example, they want to set the record for the world's tallest man, but then realise that wearing an excessively tall
top hat A top hat (also called a high hat, a cylinder hat, or, informally, a topper) is a tall, flat-crowned hat for men traditionally associated with formal wear in Western dress codes, meaning white tie, morning dress, or frock coat. Traditionally m ...
doesn't count, or that they want to set the record for the largest baked bean bath, but then realise they need more than one tin of baked beans to fill the bath. On one occasion, they lost their subject when trying to break the record for the world's smallest ant. Each attempt usually takes place in an empty auditorium, showing that they are largely unpopular record attempts. The next sketch shows that they were making the world's largest meat pie, but didn't get an oven big enough to bake it. Their last sketch was the record for the most people in a mini but could only fit four people in the car.


J


Jason

:''See Gary and Jason, above.''


Jane and Rod

Appearances: Series 1 episode 2 Jane and Rod have a daughter who is in a coma, but it is seen that they use their motionless child as a decoy in order to get celebrities to meet them.
David Soul David Soul (born David Richard Solberg; August 28, 1943) is an American-British actor and singer. He is known for his role as Detective Kenneth "Hutch" Hutchinson in the television series '' Starsky & Hutch'' from 1975 to 1979; Joshua Bolt on ...
visits them in the first skit, but they only appear to be interested in him and not their child. In the next skit
Les McKeown Leslie Richard McKeown (12 November 195520 April 2021) was a Scottish pop singer. He was the lead singer of the Bay City Rollers during their most successful period in the 1970s. Early life McKeown was born in Broomhouse, a suburb close to the ...
visits them to sing them some of his songs which they say their child wants to hear despite being motionless. They also appear in a Series 1 deleted scene, going through a list of celebrities due to visit them.


K


Des Kaye

Catchphrase: "Wicky Woo!", "Top of the morning, where's me breakfast?"
Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, and ''Little Britain Live'' Des Kaye is a one-time children's TV host who works in a DIY store. He is in denial and hasn't come to terms with the fact he is no longer on TV. He is often seen pestering the other members of staff with his puppet (called Croc O'Dile) and his frequent sayings of "wicky woo". The Series 1 DVD contains a deleted scene showing Des visiting a children's hospital and accidentally unplugging a patient's life support machine while trying to play some cheerful music on a tape recorder. He appears on the radio series, and even makes it into the best of Little Britain Radio show 2-disc set. According to the Radio series, he was sacked from his "Fun Bus" show because of gross indecency (saying "Are you telling me you've never had a wank in the toilet?"). One of the new employees at DIY universe where Des was working at the time claims that he and his sister watched the show during its run and revealed that a girl lost an eye on the show. Des Kaye also made an appearance on the live show, making him one of only 2 characters to have had their last appearance on the show in series 1, the other being Ray McCooney. The act involved Des driving around in what is presumably a miniature fun bus and angrily throwing lollipops at the audience. He then proceeds to play a game called "Hide the Sausage", which involves him taking 2 men from the audience at random, asking them to hide a large sausage on a random body part and then molest the contestant who he thinks has the sausage until a loud siren goes off. In the Australian tour, Walliams received a letter of complaint for this strong scene, he then claimed he would respond with an apology.


Reverend Jesse King

Catchphrase: "Hallelujah!"
Appearances: Series 2, episode 6 Reverend Jesse King is a
Black American African Americans (also referred to as Black Americans and Afro-Americans) are an Race and ethnicity in the United States, ethnic group consisting of Americans with partial or total ancestry from sub-Saharan Africa. The term "African American ...
preacher on a foreign exchange with the vicar of a small village church in Britain. He states that he is "from the ghetto"; loudly encourages the congregation to "fight the power"; and attempts to cure a man's cough using
faith healing Faith healing is the practice of prayer and gestures (such as laying on of hands) that are believed by some to elicit divine intervention in spiritual and physical healing, especially the Christian practice. Believers assert that the healin ...
(and when this fails, he gives the man some cough sweets instead).


L


Dr Lawrence

Catchphrase: "Have you met Anne, by the way?"
Appearances: Every sketch with Anne in it. Dr Lawrence is the Doctor in charge of Anne's progress. He rarely makes a fuss about Anne's childish behaviour and is only seen being angry at her once, when she was going to chuck his children's
guinea pig The guinea pig or domestic guinea pig (''Cavia porcellus''), also known as the cavy or domestic cavy (), is a species of rodent belonging to the genus '' Cavia'' in the family Caviidae. Breeders tend to use the word ''cavy'' to describe the ...
out the window, which she did moments later.


Leonard

Appearances: Series 3, episodes 2 and 6 Leonard is a man who works in a retirement home. He goes to great lengths to ensure comfort for certain inhabitants, mainly himself.


Officer Lindsay

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episode 2 Officer Lindsay appears only once in Series 1. He is a retired police officer in the town of Scoffage, who gives driving lessons. After persuading his student to drive at law-breaking speeds, he promptly pulls the car over, goes to the driver's window and interrogates the student for speeding as if he were still a policeman. Lindsay drives a brown
Austin Allegro The Austin Allegro is a small family car that was manufactured by the Austin-Morris division of British Leyland from 1973 until 1982. The same vehicle was built in Italy by Innocenti between 1974 and 1975 and sold as the Innocenti Regent. The Al ...
on which he has crudely painted the word 'Police', he also wears a policeman's uniform, claiming all his other clothes were in the wash.


Liz and Clive

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 2, 4 and 8 Liz and Clive are a middle-aged couple who spend a lot of time eating in their local Chinese restaurant. Throughout these sketches, Liz loudly and endlessly claims that she had been a bridesmaid at
Mollie Sugden Mary Isobel Sugden (21 July 19221 July 2009), known professionally as Mollie Sugden was an English actress. She was best known for being an original cast member in the British sitcom ''Are You Being Served?'' (1972–1985) as senior saleswoman M ...
's wedding, which angers and annoys Clive, especially when Liz makes him listen to her rather than talk to an old classmate of
Paul McCartney Sir James Paul McCartney (born 18 June 1942) is an English singer, songwriter and musician who gained worldwide fame with the Beatles, for whom he played bass guitar and shared primary songwriting and lead vocal duties with John Lennon. On ...
's (the man is played by Ted Robbins, McCartney's real-life cousin). In the final sketch involving these characters, Liz is still endlessly ranting about being Sugden's bridesmaid when Sugden comes to the restaurant, causing Liz to suddenly get agitated and try to leave. Clive then approaches Sugden (with Liz trying almost physically to stop him) and she denies any knowledge of Liz, as her friend Helen had been her only bridesmaid. At this point, Liz suddenly stabs and kills her with a knife, revealing that she had been fabricating her claims of being Sugden's bridesmaid.


Sebastian Love

Catchphrase: "Whateva!'", "Whaaaa(t)!?", "Yes Prime Minister, No Prime Minister.", "Bitch!"
Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1 Aide to the
Prime Minister A prime minister, premier or chief of cabinet is the head of the cabinet and the leader of the ministers in the executive branch of government, often in a parliamentary or semi-presidential system. Under those systems, a prime minister is ...
, Sebastian holds a badly-concealed homosexual crush on his boss. Wildly jealous of anyone who takes the attention of the PM, Sebastian does everything in his power to bring the attention back to himself. He often "accidentally" finds himself in sexually suggestive positions with his boss, who is usually very patient with (and largely oblivious to or tacitly accepting of) his advances. He is also very defensive of his boss when he comes under fire from the press or general public (for instance, when some people present a petition saying that they want the PM to resign, he tears it up and throws it in their faces without showing it to anyone). In the finale of Series 2, he tries to kiss the PM but is at first unsuccessful and weeps. When questioned if he has a crush on his boss, he denies it, then kisses his boss. He believes that his feelings for the PM are mutual, as he occasionally seduces other men to make the PM jealous. David Walliams has said that Sebastian Love was inspired by
Peter Mandelson Peter Benjamin Mandelson, Baron Mandelson (born 21 October 1953) is a British Labour Party politician who served as First Secretary of State from 2009 to 2010. He was President of the Board of Trade in 1998 and from 2008 to 2010. He is the ...
. By the time of ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'', Sebastian has risen to the post of PM, and has transferred his affections to the new US president and his jealousy to the first lady. In the ''Little Brexit'' radio special, Sebastian is depicted as an aide to
Boris Johnson Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (; born 19 June 1964) is a British politician, writer and journalist who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party from 2019 to 2022. He previously served as F ...
, gleefully mocking his personal appearance before resigning.


Lou and Andy

Catchphrase: Andy: "I want that one...", "I don't like it", "I look a pillock", "Yeah I know!"; Lou: "Bit of a kerfuffle!" "Are you ''sure''?"
Appearances: Throughout entire series Lou Todd is Andy Pipkin's
carer A caregiver or carer is a paid or unpaid member of a person's social network who helps them with activities of daily living. Since they have no specific professional training, they are often described as informal caregivers. Caregivers most commo ...
but is often taken advantage of by Andy in various ways, although deep down Andy loves Lou. These include Andy's demanding things then rejecting them when they are done for him (or when they are given to him), and Andy's ability to walk and perform complex physical activities while out of his wheelchair while Lou is not looking. Andy is often dismissive and unkind to other characters, and kills Lou's replacement by pushing her off a cliff when she becomes too strict for him. The pair are the longest serving members of the cast of characters having appeared in every episode except the TV pilot and the radio series. The names come from two characters in a
Rock Profiles ''Rock Profile'' is a British television comedy show written by and starring comedy partnership Matt Lucas and David Walliams, both later widely known for the sketch show ''Little Britain''. ''Rock Profile'' first appeared on the channel UK ...
sketch, supposedly
Lou Reed Lewis Allan Reed (March 2, 1942October 27, 2013) was an American musician, songwriter, and poet. He was the guitarist, singer, and principal songwriter for the rock band the Velvet Underground and had a solo career that spanned five decades. ...
and
Andy Warhol Andy Warhol (; born Andrew Warhola Jr.; August 6, 1928 – February 22, 1987) was an American visual artist, film director, and producer who was a leading figure in the visual art movement known as pop art. His works explore the relationsh ...
.


M


Mr Mann

Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1 Mr Mann is a customer who shops in a store (which varies in the merchandise it sells from episode to episode) run by Roy. He will usually ask for ridiculously specific items in the shop (such as "a painting of a disappointed horse" in Series 3 Episode 2). Roy would then call to his unseen wife,
Margaret Margaret is a female first name, derived via French () and Latin () from grc, μαργαρίτης () meaning "pearl". The Greek is borrowed from Persian. Margaret has been an English name since the 11th century, and remained popular through ...
in the back room for assistance. Mr Mann appeared in only one episode in the first series, but was a regular character in the second and third series. He is typically dressed in a grey raincoat, dark striped tie and black trousers. These sketches are some of the more traditional in the series, relying upon
word play Word play or wordplay (also: play-on-words) is a literary technique and a form of wit in which words used become the main subject of the work, primarily for the purpose of intended effect or amusement. Examples of word play include puns, pho ...
and
surrealism Surrealism is a cultural movement that developed in Europe in the aftermath of World War I in which artists depicted unnerving, illogical scenes and developed techniques to allow the unconscious mind to express itself. Its aim was, according to ...
. Early versions of the sketch feature Roy being unable to provide Mr Mann with his request due to it being too specific, and attempting to provide him with a substitute, which he may refuse for a trivial reason which is important to him. In later sketches, Roy became accustomed to his requests and was sometimes able to provide them. Mr Mann himself does not have any catchphrase (while Roy and Margaret do) and often delivers comedic content by making ludicrous suggestions to resolve a problem (such as asking whether a long-dead writer would be prepared to re-write his book and cut out all the "Os" to make the book shorter). In ''
Little Britain Abroad ''Little Britain'' is a British character-based comedy sketch show which was first broadcast on BBC radio and then turned into a television show. It was written and performed by comic duo David Walliams and Matt Lucas. The show's title is an am ...
'', he visits a shop in
Morocco Morocco (),, ) officially the Kingdom of Morocco, is the westernmost country in the Maghreb region of North Africa. It overlooks the Mediterranean Sea to the north and the Atlantic Ocean to the west, and has land borders with Algeria ...
with a Moroccan counterpart of Roy and asks for Pirate Memory Games, which was the first thing he ever asked for at Roy's shop in the British version, but is promptly evicted. When requesting a
David Baddiel David Lionel Baddiel (; born 28 May 1964) is an English comedian, presenter, screenwriter, and author. He is known for his work alongside Rob Newman in ''The Mary Whitehouse Experience'' and his comedy partnership with Frank Skinner. He has als ...
costume for a fancy dress party, although Roy manages to improvise a costume for him, Mr Mann rejects it as he "looked nothing like avid Baddiel despite looking like the spitting image of him when he emerged from the changing room (played by Baddiel himself). In one episode, he asks for "a record of
James Last James Last (, ; born Hans Last; 17 April 1929 – 9 June 2015), also known as Hansi, was a German composer and big band leader of the James Last Orchestra. Initially a jazz bassist (Last won the award for "best bassist" in Germany in each of ...
playing
Nelly Furtado Nelly Kim Furtado (; ; born December 2, 1978) is a Canadian singer and songwriter. Furtado has sold over 40 million records worldwide making her one of the most successful Canadian artists. She first gained fame with her trip hop-inspired de ...
's hits on a banjo with a picture on the cover of James with his hands open showing
stigmata Stigmata ( grc, στίγματα, plural of , 'mark, spot, brand'), in Roman Catholicism, are bodily wounds, scars and pain which appear in locations corresponding to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus Christ: the hands, wrists, and feet. Sti ...
" and Roy has the exact record he asked for. In another episode, Mr Mann asks for a book and is being very specific about it, then asks if he's being too specific and Roy tells him that he is. He then asks "have you got any books?", to which Roy replies "Well yes, we've got hundreds of them." Mr Mann says "I'll take ''them'' please." and proceeds to buy the store's entire inventory, despite claiming to be blind. Walliams appears in a cameo in the film '' Run Fatboy Run'' as a character similar to Mr Mann.


Margaret

Appearances: Margaret is always off-screen, but she has been included since Series 1
Catchphrase: ''See Roy below'' Margaret and her husband, Roy, own a shop frequented by Mr Mann. She is unseen throughout all the series and helps Roy when he calls to her from behind the counter. She usually takes a long time to reply whenever Roy calls out to her. One episode reveals that she is unseen because she has no arms or legs.


Mark and Tom

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA''
Mark and Tom are stereotypical American bodybuilders with enormous muscles, tiny penises and a tendency to boast to each other about their most recent workouts and sexual encounters. Despite talking about being with other women, they are shown to have homoerotic tendencies toward each other and often frolic about naked to the eyes of everyone in the locker rooms (which gives them erections at one point). They never mention their names onscreen making it hard to find out which is which, and in the last of their sketches they have had operations which gives the one played by Lucas a long tube of a penis and the one played by Walliams a woman's genitalia.


Dame Sally Markham

Appearances: Series 1
Catchphrases: "The End", "How many pages?" Dame Sally Markham is a wealthy, famous romantic novelist, whose preferred method of writing involves dictating her novel to her secretary (Miss Grace, played by
David Walliams David Edward Williams (born 20 August 1971), known professionally as David Walliams, is an English comedian, actor, writer, and television personality. He is best known for his work with Matt Lucas on the BBC sketch comedy series '' Little ...
) to type out, while lying on her sofa with her pet
Bichon Frise A bichon is a distinct type of toy dog; it is typically kept as a companion dog. Believed to be descended from the Barbet, it is believed the bichon-type dates to at least the 11th century; it was relatively common in 14th-century France, where ...
and a box of chocolates. This is a reference to the novelist Dame Barbara Cartland, whose preferred writing method was dictation in similar circumstances. Unlike Cartland's novels, however, Dame Sally's stories typically fall well short of the required length, and she will use drastic (and often illegal) methods in an effort to lengthen them, such as having the characters over-extend their interjections (such as "Yahoooooooooooo"), integrating excerpts from the radio, plagiarizing extracts from
Lady Chatterley's Lover ''Lady Chatterley's Lover'' is the last novel by English author D. H. Lawrence, which was first published privately in 1928, in Italy, and in 1929, in France. An unexpurgated edition was not published openly in the United Kingdom until 1960, w ...
, or having Miss Grace type the entire Bible into her novel. In one instance, when she tried to lengthen it using her own imagination, she barely got past 76 pages and could not think of anything else to write, so she decided to pause with it and start a new one, which consisted only of title (''The Lady in
Mauve Mauve (, ; , ) is a pale purple color named after the mallow flower (French: ''mauve''). The first use of the word ''mauve'' as a color was in 1796–98 according to the ''Oxford English Dictionary'', but its use seems to have been rare befo ...
''), Chapter One and 'The End'. As well as having bizarre ways of lengthening her books, Dame Sally also has some rather peculiar topiary designs outside her house, such as a hand pulling the middle finger, a dog performing an act of anal intercourse on another dog, a man picking his nose, a penis and some breasts.


April May and Neville Maddox

Appearances: Radio Show and Series 1 April and Neville are two workers for Saint Tom Ambulance, who, in their first appearance, are shown to go into an opera house to help a man who's having a stroke. April always offers the victims various candy mints (which replace the required medical paraphernalia in her bag). In one clip April gets Neville dismissed, by shifting the blame of having the mints to him. At the start of the final radio episode April met a fellow volunteer named Roy who used cigarettes. The two of them argued over each other's methods until they agreed on menthols when a woman collapsed.


Mildred and Connor

Appearances: ''Little Britain USA''
Catchphrases: "We didn't know any different!"
Mildred is a "stereotypical Grandma" with a strong
Deep South The Deep South or the Lower South is a cultural and geographic subregion in the Southern United States. The term was first used to describe the states most dependent on plantations and slavery prior to the American Civil War. Following the war ...
accent. She and her grandson Connor often chat about uneasy issues concerning what Connor has heard of or been involved in, such as drug testing, racism and homosexuality. Mildred then reveals certain strange details of her past, such as drug habits or homosexuality or incidents involving racism. When talking about drugs, she speaks to Connor as if he should've known better, but defends herself when mentioning her own experiences, claiming that "we didn't know any different." When mentioning all the drug habits she's ever had, she claims to be 28 years old (right after Connor comments that, despite her drug habits, she seems rather healthy and well-aged). In their final sketch, Connor admits to being homosexual, only to be called a "faggot" by Mildred.


Ray McCooney

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1 and ''Little Britain Live''
Catchphrase: "A-Yeeeees!", "Ye know too much!", "Maybe I did and maybe I didn't"
Scottish Scottish usually refers to something of, from, or related to Scotland, including: *Scottish Gaelic, a Celtic Goidelic language of the Indo-European language family native to Scotland *Scottish English *Scottish national identity, the Scottish ide ...
owner of a hotel who speaks and acts like an
Elizabethan The Elizabethan era is the epoch in the Tudor period of the history of England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I (1558–1603). Historians often depict it as the golden age in English history. The symbol of Britannia (a female personif ...
fantasy character, even though he is often seen speaking and behaving perfectly normally. He answers questions from customers in a diffident manner using riddles, "spells", and a (intentionally badly dubbed) flute, which he refers to as a ' piccalillo'. He also refers strangely to ordinary objects, such as the radio, which he calls the "talking noisy box". His eccentric behaviour often annoys and confuses his guests. However, in his final appearance, two officers from the
Inland Revenue The Inland Revenue was, until April 2005, a department of the British Government responsible for the collection of direct taxation, including income tax, national insurance contributions, capital gains tax, inheritance tax, corporation ...
service used it against him, tricking Ray into making overdue tax payments. His hotel is opposite
IKEA IKEA (; ) is a Dutch multinational conglomerate based in the Netherlands that designs and sells , kitchen appliances, decoration, home accessories, and various other goods and home services. Started in 1943 by Ingvar Kamprad, IKEA has been ...
. In the pilot episode, this character's name was "Roy" and his appearance was that of a chef at the "Aberdoone Stook Hoose" ( Aberdeen Steak House). He also played a metal flute rather than his "Piccalillo". It is said in the series 2 script book that since series 2, Ray has been continually wandering around asking people why he isn't in the second (or third) series. The name is a tribute to farce writer
Ray Cooney Raymond George Alfred Cooney, OBE (born 30 May 1932) is an English playwright, actor, and director. His biggest success, '' Run for Your Wife'' (1983), ran for nine years in London's West End and is its longest-running comedy. He has had 17 o ...
.


Mrs Mead

Appearances: Series 3 Episode 6 Mrs Mead is a religious Irish woman, who was Andy's temporary caretaker, when Lou went to the
Isle of Wight The Isle of Wight ( ) is a Counties of England, county in the English Channel, off the coast of Hampshire, from which it is separated by the Solent. It is the List of islands of England#Largest islands, largest and List of islands of England#Mo ...
. Andy was badly treated by Mrs Mead, and had to clean the house (which in Mrs Mead's opinion, was a "pig sty"). She hit him thrice, to prove he couldn't feel anything in his legs. Behind her back he yelled in pain. She also made him eat some disgusting stew, and as an alternative to a
choc ice A choc ice is the British English term for a generic frozen dessert generally consisting of a rectangular block of ice cream—typically vanilla flavour—which is thinly coated with chocolate. In many countries, there are numerous versions of ...
, he had to eat a pear for pudding. Mrs Mead forbade Andy from watching "Des and Mel". For their own "entertainment", she sang Onward, Christian Soldiers which Andy strongly disliked. Mrs Mead then took Andy to a cliff, where he had to wheel himself. She told him that she thought Lou had been too soft with him, and told him that he had to do cooking and cleaning, no more TV or chocolate and crisps. When she was telling him he needed a job, Andy was tired of her unfair treatment, and killed Mrs Mead by pushing her off the cliff. Though her intentions were well meaning, she took it too far and made it like she was going to live with Andy forever, even though she knew Lou was to return the following day.


Denver Mills

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 3, 5 and 6 Denver Mills is a former silver medallist ( gold medallist in the radio drama) in the 400 metres at the
1984 Los Angeles Olympics The 1984 Summer Olympics (officially the Games of the XXIII Olympiad and also known as Los Angeles 1984) were an international multi-sport event held from July 28 to August 12, 1984, in Los Angeles, California, United States. It marked the secon ...
, who now acts as a guest speaker at various events. His speeches are always politically or factually incorrect, confusing and often offensive to the audience, such as his speech at a police dinner "...maybe being an Olympic athlete isn't so different from being a police officer. First of all, we both get a lot of practise running after black guys". In a typical sketch, he will be on his way to give his speech, but upon learning a detail in his speech is considered offensive, confusing or is not factually correct, he will proceed to throw a page of his speech away, until he is left with his greeting and dismissal. Once, he found out he would not only be meeting people with
leprosy Leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease (HD), is a long-term infection by the bacteria '' Mycobacterium leprae'' or '' Mycobacterium lepromatosis''. Infection can lead to damage of the nerves, respiratory tract, skin, and eyes. This nerve da ...
, but also hugging them, and, suddenly reluctant to do his speech, he threw himself out of the car after a discussion about lepers. He regularly goes on about his achievements, but gets little response for it. Mills' US equivalent is Bing Gordyn, the eighth man to walk on the
moon The Moon is Earth's only natural satellite. It is the fifth largest satellite in the Solar System and the largest and most massive relative to its parent planet, with a diameter about one-quarter that of Earth (comparable to the width ...
and the first to do so with a
moustache A moustache (; en-US, mustache, ) is a strip of facial hair grown above the upper lip. Moustaches have been worn in various styles throughout history. Etymology The word "moustache" is French, and is derived from the Italian ''mustaccio' ...
. The two are both Walliams characters, both have had some amazing achievement that they go on about, but fail to receive praise for. In reality the medal Mills is said to have won was actually won by the late Ivorian athlete Gabriel Tiacoh.


The Minstrels

Played By: David Walliams and Matt Lucas
Appearances: Series 1, Episodes 1 and 3 The Minstrels are two minstrels who are constant targets of quasi-racial discrimination. They are refused a room at a bed and breakfast, and are criticized by in radio broadcast by a government official. One of the cut sketches shows the Minstrel played by David Walliams being denied a job to which he replies, "Is it because I'm a minstrel?"


Myfanwy

Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1, in most of the sketches with Daffyd Thomas in them Myfanwy is the barmaid of a local pub (called 'The Scarecrow and Mrs. King') and best friend to Daffyd Thomas and often serves him
Bacardi Bacardi Limited (; ) is one of the largest privately held, family-owned spirits companies in the world. Originally known for its Bacardi brand of white rum, it now has a portfolio of more than 200 brands and labels. Founded in Cuba in 1862 ...
and Coke. She is very keen to help him find a gay partner, even going as far as to close her bar so he can have a gay night (which she promptly regrets because he orders all the gays who turn up to leave). In later episodes, it is shown that she is in a homosexual relationship and about to enter into a civil partnership with Rhiannon. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', Myfanwy opens a gay bar on
Mykonos Mykonos (, ; el, Μύκονος ) is a Greek island, part of the Cyclades, lying between Tinos, Syros, Paros and Naxos. The island has an area of and rises to an elevation of at its highest point. There are 10,134 inhabitants according to t ...
in Greece, but it does not fare well because Daffyd does not hand out flyers to the locals. It is also revealed in ''Little Britain Abroad'' that she speaks almost perfect
Greek Greek may refer to: Greece Anything of, from, or related to Greece, a country in Southern Europe: *Greeks, an ethnic group. *Greek language, a branch of the Indo-European language family. **Proto-Greek language, the assumed last common ancestor ...
. At the end of Series 3, she is seen walking with Daffyd to the train station and she cries when he tries to leave for London.


N


Narrator

Appearances: Unseen. Narrates every episode
Catchphrase: Opens every episode with "Britain, Britain, Britain!" or something similar, such as " Brighton, Brighton, Brighton" and closes every episode with a mispronounced "goodbye" (e.g. "good-tie" or 'good bile'). The closest he ever came to saying it the right way was when he said 'goodbyes'. The narrator opens and closes every episode and provides a voice-over between many of the sketches to introduce the upcoming characters, announcing the time in a ridiculous manner, such as "nought o'clock", announcing an impossible time or date, such as 'one two o'clock' or 'It's a crisp morning in Octember', or replacing the hour with a person's name, such as 'half past Oliver' and also fictitious names for locations around Britain, such as villages called "
Bruise A bruise, also known as a contusion, is a type of hematoma of tissue, the most common cause being capillaries damaged by trauma, causing localized bleeding that extravasates into the surrounding interstitial tissues. Most bruises occur clo ...
", "Achey Balls", and the " Mike McShane Estate'. He will also give directions to certain places such as a
McDonald's McDonald's Corporation is an American multinational fast food Fast food is a type of mass-produced food designed for commercial resale, with a strong priority placed on speed of service. It is a commercial term, limited to food sold ...
in a very strange location and "a town just southeast of Northwestshire". The narrator delivers comedic monologues in many voice-overs by making unorthodox claims about Britain, its people or its history (such as "we invented the cat"), stating the obvious (such as 'Here are some facts about Britain you may not know. 1. Britain is a country, 2. Britain is called Britain, 5. Britain.'), or by breaking the
fourth wall The fourth wall is a performance convention in which an invisible, imaginary wall separates actors from the audience. While the audience can see through this ''wall'', the convention assumes the actors act as if they cannot. From the 16th cent ...
, such as saying
Anthony Head Anthony Stewart Head (born 20 February 1954) is an English actor and singer. Primarily a performer in musical theatre, he rose to fame in the UK in the 1980s following his role in the Gold Blend couple television advertisements for Nescafé, ...
is not the real Prime Minister and he's "that guy out of '' Buffy''". He will also make ironic statements (such as in ''Little Britain Abroad'': "I went to
Mykonos Mykonos (, ; el, Μύκονος ) is a Greek island, part of the Cyclades, lying between Tinos, Syros, Paros and Naxos. The island has an area of and rises to an elevation of at its highest point. There are 10,134 inhabitants according to t ...
once. I loathed it...Too many gays! My boyfriend and I got the first flight home!" He also mentions in one episode that he was born without genitals.) Sometimes he would make very strange comments about a location such as 'the children of Britain are notoriously stupid and must attend school' and 'if you have a verucca you would like to share, then go to your local swimming pool'. He often makes surreal statements, like; "I must go now because I am about to reach
orgasm Orgasm (from Greek , ; "excitement, swelling") or sexual climax is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic, involuntary muscular contractions in the pelvic region charact ...
", or "I do love an election... in fact I'm having one right now", upon the end of one of the episodes. At the end of one episode, shorter than the others, he remarked: "This show has ended a little earlier than usual, because a man is trying to take my clothes off, and I must ask him why". Also, during the Marjorie Dawes sketches, he expresses much contempt for overweight people, such as calling them "vermin", or expressing a desire to have them arrested, removed from the country, spat on or shot dead. However, in one such sketch he states that he would strangle the overweight people himself, but he can't because he's "too fat". In an Emily Howard sketch, he says that he is wearing a beautiful dress that belonged to his father; he routinely introduces Emily as "rubbish
r ''not very good'', or some similar phrase R, or r, is the eighteenth letter of the Latin alphabet, used in the modern English alphabet, the alphabets of other western European languages and others worldwide. Its name in English is ''ar'' (pronounced ), plural ''ars'', or in Irel ...
transvestite Emily Howard". In the final episode he says "Brighton, Brighton, Bri... oh wait, Britain, Britain, Britain!". At the end he says that ''Little Britain'' is the best show ever and says he is "some kind of god that must be worshipped as such".


Newsagent

Appearances: Series 2 episode 4 The Newsagent made only one appearance in Series 2. In the sketch, set in an ordinary British off-license, a customer (portrayed by
David Walliams David Edward Williams (born 20 August 1971), known professionally as David Walliams, is an English comedian, actor, writer, and television personality. He is best known for his work with Matt Lucas on the BBC sketch comedy series '' Little ...
) comes in and, being the only other person in the shop, is forced to do his shopping under the gaze of the newsagent, who attempts to make conversation by commenting on each of the items that the customer takes (for instance "Thirsty?" upon the customer taking a drink from the fridge, or "Hoping to write letter to friend or relative?" upon the customer taking a notebook). At the end of the sketch, after a few moments of awkward dithering, the customer reaches up to the top shelf of the magazine racks, where the pornographic ones are kept, prompting the shopkeeper to ask; "Planning a wank?" Embarrassed, the customer changes his mind and instead goes to pay for the items he has taken. The opening scene of the sketch shows that he allows a maximum of 200 students in his shop at one time.


P


Pat and Don

Appearances: Series 3, episodes 2 and 3 Catchphrase: Pat: "Don, don't have that", Don: "I'll have one of those, my friend." Pat and Don are a couple who eat at a local Indian restaurant, which has an unusually fast service. The dishes are delivered as soon as the couple is finished ordering, and even so, the waiter will sometimes apologise for the delay. Don always orders the spiciest dish offered to him, saying with enthusiasm that he loves his food spicy. However, he often finds the dish a little too hot for his tastes and it then causes him to spout catchphrases from a variety of 1970s and 1980s TV shows such as " Super match game, super match game, super match game", " Godzilla, doo doodle doo, Godzilla doo doodle doo, Godzilla doo doodle doo and Godzooky" and " Mr Spencer!" Pat clearly only likes mild food.


Sandra and Ralph Patterson

Appearances: Series 1, episodes 4, 6 and 7 Sandra Patterson is a stage mother who is unusually determined for her son Ralph (which she pronounces as "Raif", a reference to
Ralph Fiennes Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes ( ; born 22 December 1962) is an English actor, film producer, and director. A Shakespeare interpreter, he excelled onstage at the Royal National Theatre before having further success at the Royal S ...
) to get into acting. She is also very boastful and nasty to whoever she comes across. Unfortunately, her son never gets a part and, every time he fails, Sandra loses her temper and usually takes it out on whoever is nearby, unfortunately, often her son. They appeared in the radio series under the names of Sandra and Olivier Laurence, a play on the name of the actor
Laurence Olivier Laurence Kerr Olivier, Baron Olivier (; 22 May 1907 – 11 July 1989) was an English actor and director who, along with his contemporaries Ralph Richardson and John Gielgud, was one of a trio of male actors who dominated the British stage o ...
. She goes to such lengths to get him parts, that she pretends it's his birthday, that he's dying, and even threatening to "tell 'em you touched him!".


Pedro

Appearances: Series 2, The Comic Relief Special Pedro is the Spanish, cross-dressing boyfriend of Dewi, Daffyd's brother. Pedro was with Dewi when he came out to Daffyd as gay, and Daffyd was shocked to find out Pedro was a man, and was gay also. Pedro appeared in Comic Relief, acting as room service when Daffyd was interviewing
Elton John Sir Elton Hercules John (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is a British singer, pianist and composer. Commonly nicknamed the "Rocket Man" after his 1972 hit single of the same name, John has led a commercially successful career a ...
. Pedro's character was likely based on David Walliams' impersonation of
Ricky Martin Enrique Martín Morales (born December 24, 1971), known professionally as Ricky Martin, is a Puerto Rican singer, songwriter, and actor. He is known for his musical versatility, with his discography spanning Latin pop, pop, dance, reggaeton ...
.


Sid Pegg

Appearances: Series 3, episodes 4 and 5
Catchphrases: "Wife,
ame of food #REDIRECT AME {{redirect category shell, {{R from other capitalisation{{R from ambiguous page ...
go!", "Britain fights back! (fist in air)" Sid Pegg is a nosy and rude gammon, Little Englander,
Neighbourhood Watch Neighbourhood Watch in the United Kingdom is the largest voluntary crime prevention movement covering England and Wales with upwards of 2.3 million household members. The charity brings neighbors together to create strong, friendly and active comm ...
leader who takes his job very seriously. As there is no real crime in his area, his meetings can be about anything from the
Gipsy Kings Gipsy Kings are a group of flamenco, salsa, and pop musicians from Arles and Montpellier in southern France, who perform mostly in Catalan but also mix in Spanish with southern French dialects. Although the group members were born in France, ...
(whom he believes to be the "actual kings of the
Gypsy The Romani (also spelled Romany or Rromani , ), colloquially known as the Roma, are an Indo-Aryan ethnic group, traditionally nomadic itinerants. They live in Europe and Anatolia, and have diaspora populations located worldwide, with si ...
") to the fact that a gang of " yobs" have kicked an empty can of
Lilt Lilt is a brand of soft drink manufactured by The Coca-Cola Company and sold in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Gibraltar, and the Seychelles only. Since the 1970s Lilt has been promoted with the advertising slogan "the totally tropical taste." B ...
down the road. He will frequently call out commands to his wife preparing dinner, in the format of "Wife,
ame of food #REDIRECT AME {{redirect category shell, {{R from other capitalisation{{R from ambiguous page ...
go!". He has a moustache similar to that of Nazi leader
Adolf Hitler Adolf Hitler (; 20 April 188930 April 1945) was an Austrian-born German politician who was dictator of Nazi Germany, Germany from 1933 until Death of Adolf Hitler, his death in 1945. Adolf Hitler's rise to power, He rose to power as the le ...
, and a photograph of Winston Churchill in his living room where the meetings take place. When asking for assistance from other members of the watch, he always chooses Lloyd, a short man who appeared on ''
The Weakest Link ''Weakest Link'' (also known as ''The Weakest Link'') is a television game show which first appeared in the United Kingdom on BBC Two on 14 August 2000 and originally ended on 31 March 2012 when its host Anne Robinson completed her contract. ...
'' (a fact Sid continually mentions).


Piano Player

Appearances: Series 1, episodes 1, 3, 6 and 8 The Piano Player is an unnamed man who plays at the Uncle Albert Hall. He pauses during his recitals to say or do mindless things, such as checking where his shopping bag is, to read a text message and to tell someone that he forgot to set the video and ask when
Sainsbury's J Sainsbury plc, trading as Sainsbury's, is the second largest chain of supermarkets in the United Kingdom, with a 14.6% share of UK supermarket sales. Founded in 1869 by John James Sainsbury with a shop in Drury Lane, London, the company w ...
closes, before resuming the recital as if nothing had happened. The actual pianist was Simon Callaghan, now a professional classical musician, who was studying at the
Royal College of Music The Royal College of Music is a music school, conservatoire established by royal charter in 1882, located in South Kensington, London, UK. It offers training from the Undergraduate education, undergraduate to the Doctorate, doctoral level in a ...
at the time. An American counterpart (also played by Walliams) appears in a deleted scene of the US adaptation of the show. He is seen reading out of a porn magazine, which is causing him to play a faster tempo.


Judy Pike

:''See Maggie Blackamoor and Judy Pike, above. ''


Gerald Pincher

Appearances: Series 2, episodes 1, 2, 4, and 6; Little Britain USA, episode 2, 3 and 6
Catchphrase: "Come on Harvey!" Gerald Pincher is the father of Harvey Pincher. He is a crusty, conservative, upper class Brit, yet he is also warm and friendly. In Series 2 he has mousy brown hair and in ''Little Britain USA'' he has red hair. He appears to be unperturbed by Harvey's infantile desire for his mother's
breast milk Breast milk (sometimes spelled as breastmilk) or mother's milk is milk produced by mammary glands located in the breast of a human female. Breast milk is the primary source of nutrition for newborns, containing fat, protein, carbohydrates (lac ...
('bitty'). In ''Little Britain USA'' he is seen changing Harvey's diaper. He appears to be interested in the
Battle of Culloden The Battle of Culloden (; gd, Blàr Chùil Lodair) was the final confrontation of the Jacobite rising of 1745. On 16 April 1746, the Jacobite Army (1745), Jacobite army of Charles Edward Stuart was decisively defeated by a Kingdom of Great Bri ...
. In Series 2 it is revealed that Gerald does not approve of vegetarianism; when informed about the need for a vegetarian option at Harvey and Jane's wedding he responds "Oh, bloody vegetarians! String up the lot of them, I say!". In ''Little Britain USA'' he expresses his dislike of modern art, "Hope they don't have too much of that 'modern art'!"


Harvey Pincher

Appearances: Series 2
Catchphrase: "I want bitty!" or simply "Bitty!" Harvey Pincher can be best described as a 25-year-old upper-class mummy's boy. He insists on "bitty" (
breast milk Breast milk (sometimes spelled as breastmilk) or mother's milk is milk produced by mammary glands located in the breast of a human female. Breast milk is the primary source of nutrition for newborns, containing fat, protein, carbohydrates (lac ...
) from his mother Celia (played by Geraldine James) even though he is an adult – much to the dismay of his prospective wife and her parents, so when they were speaking and they saw the "bitty", they would start stuttering and speaking rather slowly. The sketches follow his engagement to Jane, through to their wedding day, which he interrupts near the end, saying "Bitty" instead of "I Do", gesturing for his mother to come up so he can have some of her breast milk. His parents do not seem even remotely perturbed by his behaviour. Harvey Pincher and his parents (without his new wife) return in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'', visiting some American relatives, who are equally shocked by his breast-feeding. In their final sketch, Harvey's mother Celia overhears the relatives insulting them behind their back about the breast-feeding and is offended. It is also revealed that Harvey is burped by Celia, wears a
nappy A diaper /ˈdaɪpə(r)/ ( American and Canadian English) or a nappy ( Australian English, British English, and Hiberno-English) is a type of underwear that allows the wearer to urinate or defecate without using a toilet, by absorbing or c ...
and Gerald changes him.


Andy Pipkin

:''See Lou Todd and Andy Pipkin''


Vicky Pollard

Played by: Matt Lucas
Appearances: Radio Show; Starting in Series 1
Catchphrases: "Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but... (and sometimes repeats this a few times)", "... or sumthin' or nuffin'", "I wasn't even supposed to be there, so SHUT up!", "Don't be giving me the evils!", "Oh my God! I sooo can't believe you just said that!", "Yeah well s/he ain't got nuffin' to do with it anyway so just leave him/her out of it!" as well as coming up with gossip unrelated to her situation which usually ends with "Anyway don't listen to him/her cos (further unrelated gossip)". Vicky Pollard is a teenage girl who is intended to be a parody of
chav "Chav" (), also "charver", "scally" and "roadman" in parts of England, is a British term, usually used in a pejorative way. The term is used to describe an anti-social lower-class youth dressed in sportswear. * * * * "Chavette" is a related te ...
s living in the
West Country The West Country (occasionally Westcountry) is a loosely defined area of South West England, usually taken to include all, some, or parts of the counties of Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Somerset, Bristol, and, less commonly, Wiltshire, Glouce ...
at the time
Matt Lucas Matthew Richard Lucas (born 5 March 1974) is an English actor, comedian, writer, and television presenter. He is best known for his work with David Walliams on the BBC sketch comedy series '' Little Britain'' (2003–2006, 2020) and '' Come Fl ...
was studying at the
University of Bristol The University of Bristol is a Red brick university, red brick Russell Group research university in Bristol, England. It received its royal charter in 1909, although it can trace its roots to a Society of Merchant Venturers, Merchant Venturers' sc ...
. When challenged about something, she comes up with gossip that has nothing whatsoever to do with whatever problem she is in at the time, although she claims to be "getting there". She also speaks very quickly which, together with the gossip she comes up with, usually confuses or agitates the person in question. She dresses in a dirty, pink-coloured
Kappa Kappa (uppercase Κ, lowercase κ or cursive ; el, κάππα, ''káppa'') is the 10th letter of the Greek alphabet, representing the voiceless velar plosive sound in Ancient and Modern Greek. In the system of Greek numerals, has a value ...
tracksuit A tracksuit is an article of clothing consisting of two parts: trousers and a jacket usually with front zipper. It was originally intended for use in sports, mainly for athletes to wear over competition clothing (such as running shirt and sh ...
. Her place of residence throughout the series was a fictitious town called Darkley Noone, which is shown to be in
Bristol Bristol () is a city, ceremonial county and unitary authority in England. Situated on the River Avon, it is bordered by the ceremonial counties of Gloucestershire to the north and Somerset to the south. Bristol is the most populous city i ...
. For instance, she refers to places within the Bristol area, such as
Fishponds Fishponds is a large suburb in the north-east of the English city of Bristol, about from the city centre. It has two large Victorian-era parks: Eastville Park and Vassall's Park (once the Vassall Family estate, also known as Oldbury Court). ...
, the
Broadmead Broadmead is a street in the Bristol city centre, central area of Bristol, England, which has given its name to the principal shopping district of the city. It is part of Bristol Shopping Quarter. History The name of the street was first rec ...
Shopping Centre and
Wookey Hole Wookey Hole is a village in Somerset, England. It is the location of the Wookey Hole show caves. Location Wookey Hole is located in the civil parish of St Cuthbert Out, in Mendip District. It is one mile north-west of the city of Wells, and lie ...
(which is actually just outside
Wells Wells most commonly refers to: * Wells, Somerset, a cathedral city in Somerset, England * Well, an excavation or structure created in the ground * Wells (name) Wells may also refer to: Places Canada * Wells, British Columbia England * Wel ...
, but is a short drive from Bristol). She also speaks with a strong Bristolian accent and a
lisp A lisp is a speech impairment in which a person misarticulates sibilants (, , , , , , , ). These misarticulations often result in unclear speech. Types * A frontal lisp occurs when the tongue is placed anterior to the target. Interdental lispi ...
, for instance pronouncing "borstal" as "borthtal". Vicky Pollard went to school in the first series. In the first series, she was accused of shoplifting, became pregnant (and swapped the baby for a
Westlife Westlife is an Irish pop vocal group formed in Dublin, Ireland in 1998. The group currently consists of members Shane Filan, Mark Feehily, Kian Egan, and Nicky Byrne. Brian McFadden was a member, until he left in 2004. The group temporari ...
CD) and was sentenced to
borstal A Borstal was a type of youth detention centre in the United Kingdom, several member states of the Commonwealth of Nations, Commonwealth and the Republic of Ireland. In India, such a detention centre is known as a Borstal school. Borstals were ...
where she bit someone called Jackie Hayes (a counterpart of Vicky played by Walliams). In the third series, she works for a sex hotline and pretends she's a lesbian with three girlfriends named "Ferrero", "Rocher" and "Twix", was hired to babysit and had a wild party in the house while the parents were away and tried to get money from a forged lottery ticket. In ''Little Britain Abroad'' she was shut in a Thai prison for smuggling heroin and her mother, Shelly Pollard (played by
Dawn French Dawn Roma French (born 11 October 1957) is a British actress, comedian, presenter and writer. French is known for writing and starring on the BBC comedy sketch show '' French and Saunders'' with her best friend and comedy partner, Jennifer Sau ...
), made an appearance in court saying that Vicky got into a bad crowd at the age of three. Vicky was sentenced to 10 years for this offence (her mother gets 20 for annoying the judge). Her boyfriend, Jermaine made a brief cameo appearance in a sketch in Series 2. In ''
Comic Relief does Little Britain Live ''Little Britain Live'' is a stage show based on the TV sketch series ''Little Britain'', performed by its stars, David Walliams and Matt Lucas, and directed by Jeremy Sams. Supporting characters are played by Paul Putner and Samantha Power (w ...
'', supermodel
Kate Moss Katherine Ann Moss (born 16 January 1974) is a British model. Arriving at the end of the "supermodel era", Moss rose to fame in the early 1990s as part of the heroin chic fashion trend. Her collaborations with Calvin Klein brought her to fas ...
played Vicky's twin sister "Katie Pollard", and declared that Vicky was the 'pretty one' and Katie was the "easy one". She is shown in various episodes to be a chav girl seeking to get pregnant to get a council house: – in one episode, she is shown enviously referring to an acquaintance of hers who is only 9 years old, but has a council house of her own and 3 children. On the episode where she takes a job at a sleazy sex hotline, she is shown pushing along 6 daughters in buggies all dressed identically to her, whilst in the babysitting episode, she also mentions that she has 6 children of her own. She often says "I have 6 babies by 7 different blokes." In ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'', she is sent to
boot camp Boot camp may refer to: Training programs * Boot camp (correctional), a type of correctional facility for adolescents, especially in the U.S. penal system * Boot camp, a training camp for learning various types of skills ** Dev bootcamp, a de ...
in
Utah Utah ( , ) is a state in the Mountain West subregion of the Western United States. Utah is a landlocked U.S. state bordered to its east by Colorado, to its northeast by Wyoming, to its north by Idaho, to its south by Arizona, and to its ...
after being thrown out of
Disney World The Walt Disney World Resort, also called Walt Disney World or Disney World, is an entertainment resort complex in Bay Lake and Lake Buena Vista, Florida, United States, near the cities of Orlando and Kissimmee. Opened on October 1, 1971, th ...
for beating up the Aristocats and setting fire to the
Peter Pan Peter Pan is a fictional character created by Scottish novelist and playwright J. M. Barrie. A free-spirited and mischievous young boy who can fly and never grows up, Peter Pan spends his never-ending childhood having adventures on the mythi ...
ride. She enrages the coach, jabbering away during rollcall and refusing to follow orders. This behaviour continues until the other girls run off to get their first assignments and Vicky stays behind to express concern over one of the girls being possibly lesbian. She is told to 'run' by the coach. In another sketch, she smokes in the bathroom and her hair catches fire (she is saved by the concerned coach). In her final sketch in the series, she is in hospital on life support after jumping off the church roof. The coach is shown to be very caring towards her.


R


Rachel and Nicola

Appearances: Series 2, episode 6 Rachel (Walliams) and Nicola (Lucas) are two single women looking for love, who go to lunch together and keep track of dates and potential boyfriends by exchanging Polaroid photos of the men's genitals.


Jeremy Rent

Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1
Catchphrase: "I'll tell him you're busy." Jeremy is Dennis Waterman's theatrical agent who, while on the phone, at the slightest hint of disagreement, shouts the last word and hangs up the phone. He often struggles to get Dennis to agree to take conventional acting roles, whereas Dennis is only interested in writing and singing theme tunes. In one sketch, the usual appearance of regular sized things being huge to Dennis is swapped so when Jeremy gives Dennis a pen, it appears regular size to him and when he gives it back, the pen is gigantic to Jeremy.


Robot careers advisor

Appearance: Series 1
The robotic careers advisor, who works in the same school as Mr. Cleaves, makes one appearance. In it, a student, who is very realistic about his career opportunities in the future, comes into his office to discuss his desire to become a caterer or engineer. However, the robot reveals to him just how realistic his career opportunities are – according to the robot, there will be no jobs for humans in the future. Somewhat confused, the boy leaves with a booklet explaining everything the robot has said, a warning over his untucked shirt and a reminder that the advisor is a robot.


Florence Rose

Florence Rose is an aspiring transvestite and companion of
Emily Emily may refer to: * Emily (given name), including a list of people with the name Music * Emily (1964 song), "Emily" (1964 song), title song by Johnny Mandel and Johnny Mercer to the film ''The Americanization of Emily'' * Emily (Dave Koz son ...
. He is even less convincing as a transvestite than Emily, in that he deliberately keeps his moustache; at one point being referred to as "a short fat bloke with a moustache" whilst attempting to purchase a dress. Emily is teaching Florence how to be a lady in the second series, during which she regularly makes mistakes. In the last episode of Series 3 it is revealed that he is married and his real name is Fred. Their Nationwide advertisement gives his full name as "Fred Brown."


Roy

Appearances: Radio Show; Since Series 1, in all but one sketch with Mr Mann
Catchphrase: Roy's catchphrase is a conversation with his wife:
:Roy: (Following Mr Mann's request) "Oh, I'm not sure, Margaret will know. (turns to the back of the store) Margaret! Margaret!" :Margaret: (after a long pause) "Yes?" :Roy: "There's a gentleman here looking for (then repeats Mr Mann's request, often verbatim.)" :These lines are usually followed by Margaret saying she is unsure, though she always has an alternative which Roy may have in stock, much to his own surprise, although Mr Mann may then refuse for some trivial reason. Roy owns a store (that sells different items each episode) where Mr Mann always shops. His wife
Margaret Margaret is a female first name, derived via French () and Latin () from grc, μαργαρίτης () meaning "pearl". The Greek is borrowed from Persian. Margaret has been an English name since the 11th century, and remained popular through ...
helps run the store but is never seen. He has stated that he hates Mr Mann because of his specific requests, and is sometimes shown to be reluctant to serve him. On one occasion, when Mr Mann complained about a picture he had just purchased, Roy's response was "Get out or I will strangle you". The long pause between Roy's calling to Margaret and her response was referenced in one sketch when, as soon as Roy had called to Margaret, he and Mr Mann both sat down, to read their books while waiting for her response.


Robert

Appearances: Series 1 Episode 6, Series 3 Episode 6 Robert is the Chancellor of the Exchequer to the Prime Minister, Michael Stevens. He is according to the Prime Minister, very distant to him and this makes the Prime Minister think that he doesn't like his policies. This in turn causes Robert to stand in the leadership elections. However, in the last episode of Series 3 when the Prime Minister resigns it is announced that Robert will be the new Prime Minister, which leaves Sebastian, the Prime Minister's aide (who has always taken a dislike to Robert, calling him "Fat and Scottish") in tears. He is based on
Gordon Brown James Gordon Brown (born 20 February 1951) is a British former politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Labour Party (UK), Leader of the Labour Party from 2007 to 2010. He previously served as Chance ...
who at the time was in the same position.


S


Michael Stevens

Played by:
Appearances: Since Series 1, in all but one scene with Sebastian Love The Prime Minister and the object of Sebastian's affection. Based heavily on the then real-life British Prime Minister
Tony Blair Sir Anthony Charles Lynton Blair (born 6 May 1953) is a British former politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1997 to 2007 and Leader of the Labour Party from 1994 to 2007. He previously served as Leader of the ...
, there are several references to the political scene of the time. Michael has a tumulous relationship with Sebastian, playing on Blair's strained relationship with
Peter Mandelson Peter Benjamin Mandelson, Baron Mandelson (born 21 October 1953) is a British Labour Party politician who served as First Secretary of State from 2009 to 2010. He was President of the Board of Trade in 1998 and from 2008 to 2010. He is the ...
. One scene depicts the Prime Minister conducting difficult talks with the President of the United States, where the President tries to compel the Prime Minister to follow his position, referring to Blair's following of the policy of the Bush administration on the then-ongoing war with Iraq. There is also an episode which depicts the revelation of the Prime Minister's
extramarital affair An affair is a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or Passion (emotion), passionate attachment in which at least one of its participants has a formal or informal commitment to a third person who may neither agree to such relationship nor ...
many years earlier, playing on
John Major Sir John Major (born 29 March 1943) is a British former politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party from 1990 to 1997, and as Member of Parliament (MP) for Huntingdon, formerly Hunting ...
's affair with
Edwina Currie Edwina Currie (' Cohen; born 13 October 1946) is a British writer, broadcaster and former politician, serving as Conservative Party Member of Parliament for South Derbyshire from 1983 until 1997. She was a Junior Health Minister for two yea ...
. He "retires" at the end of Series 3, to Sebastian's horror, which is alluding to the long expected and much anticipated handover of Tony Blair to his
Chancellor Chancellor ( la, cancellarius) is a title of various official positions in the governments of many nations. The original chancellors were the of Roman courts of justice—ushers, who sat at the or lattice work screens of a basilica or law cou ...
,
Gordon Brown James Gordon Brown (born 20 February 1951) is a British former politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Labour Party (UK), Leader of the Labour Party from 2007 to 2010. He previously served as Chance ...
, which took place in real life two years after the Prime Minister retired in the series. David Walliams states that Anthony Head got the role because "next to
Steve Martin Stephen Glenn Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and musician. He has won five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and was awarded an Honorary Academy Award in 2013. Additionally, he was nominat ...
, he's the only man I'll ever turn gay for."


T


Mr. T look-alike

Appearances: Series 2, Episode 3 One of the few characters based on a real person, the sketch involved a Mr. T look-alike (complete with gold chains and mohawk) who claimed to have never heard of the muscle-bound star or even seen ''
The A-Team ''The A-Team'' is an American action-adventure television series that ran on NBC from January 1983 to March 1987 about former members of a fictitious United States Army Special Forces unit. The four members of the team were tried by court m ...
'' despite the fact he also drank milk and drove a van identical to the one from the show.


Daffyd Thomas

Played by: Matt Lucas
Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1 onward
Catchphrases: "Everybody knows I'm the only gay in the village", "Homophobe!", "
Bacardi Bacardi Limited (; ) is one of the largest privately held, family-owned spirits companies in the world. Originally known for its Bacardi brand of white rum, it now has a portfolio of more than 200 brands and labels. Founded in Cuba in 1862 ...
and Coke please, Myfanwy", "I don't think so", "I'm gay! Get over it!", "Gay Rights... For Gays!" Daffyd Thomas, who lives in the small Welsh village of Llanddewi Brefi, is a self-proclaimed gay man who dresses in a vast variety of tight PVC and latex rubber clothing and proudly proclaims that he is "the only gay in the village". In fact, there is a huge
gay community The LGBT community (also known as the LGBTQ+ community, GLBT community, gay community, or queer community) is a loosely defined grouping of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other queer individuals united by a common culture and soci ...
in his village and the surrounding area, but he refuses to acknowledge or associate with them. Instead, he frequently proclaims his homosexuality as a means to draw attention to himself, and has almost no (if any) homosexual experience, appearing instead to be more terrified by the thought of it than having any desire to seek it out – in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'' he exclaims "I can't have sex with a man, I'm gay!". There is only one sketch in which he seemed to admire a handsome man he thought was gay. He secretly longs to be victimised for his supposed homosexuality and often brands anyone who speaks to him as
homophobic Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitude (psychology), attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay or bisexual. It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, h ...
(even if all they said was "Hello"). Daffyd is frequently shown to be very ignorant, and prone to making offensive and politically incorrect statements about other homosexuals. He claims that "lesbians don't count" and tells another that she is "far too attractive" to be a lesbian. He spends most of his time in the village pub talking to barmaid and best friend, Myfanwy. Myfanwy (who is later revealed to be in a lesbian relationship herself with girlfriend Rhiannon) is eager to help him with his apparent disengaged love life, and encourages him to meet other gay men or groups, all of whom he rejects or insults. She continues to try to help him despite his repeated bluntness; many sketches end with him leaving his local pub after claiming that his village is completely homophobic. He also has a habit of organising gay-related events (such as a gay society) and then refusing other gays entry (by simply declaring that they are not genuinely gay). He has a mother (played by Ruth Madoc), and father who are not bothered by his self-proclaimed homosexuality, much to his chagrin; they in fact have many gay relatives. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', he is shocked to learn from Myfanwy that his mother is in love with her aunt, and he even has a gay brother named Dewi (played by
James Corden James Kimberley Corden (born 22 August 1978) is an English television host, actor, comedian, and singer. In the United Kingdom, he is best known for co-writing and starring in the critically acclaimed BBC sitcom '' Gavin & Stacey''. In the ...
), who has a Spanish boyfriend named Pedro. In the final episode of Series 3, he decides to leave Llandewi Brefi for London because he felt he was an out
gay man ''Gay'' is a term that Terminology of homosexuality, primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant 'carefree', 'cheerful', or 'bright and showy'. While scant usage referring to Gay men, ...
. However, he decided not to go, because he learnt from Myfanwy what a gay man could do in London. In one episode of ''Little Britain'' series 3, Daffyd is seen trying to become an MP, representing his own political party, the "Gay Rights for Gays Party". If he wins the local election, he claims he would turn Llanddewi Brefi Park into a 24-hour gay cruising zone (merely by adding statues of
Colin and Justin Colin Lewis McAllister and Justin Patrick Ryan are Scottish interior decorators and television presenters, often billed as Colin and Justin. As well as being co-hosts, McAllister and Ryan have also been a couple since 1986 and have been credi ...
), and that he would demolish the Llanddewi Brefi Home of Retirement and replace it with a gay sauna. Most people seem to back Daffyd; the elderly lady in the sketch reveals she is a lesbian herself, causing Daffyd to faint. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', he ruins the opening night of Myfanwy's gay bar on
Mykonos Mykonos (, ; el, Μύκονος ) is a Greek island, part of the Cyclades, lying between Tinos, Syros, Paros and Naxos. The island has an area of and rises to an elevation of at its highest point. There are 10,134 inhabitants according to t ...
in Greece because he hands out fliers to a 5-year-old tourist girl and a Greek nun instead of to other gay people (though the nun later reveals herself to be a lesbian). He is also noticeably curious about what being homosexual is actually like when he questions a homosexual (Walliams) on a Mykonos beach. Daffyd appears in ''
Little Britain USA ''Little Britain USA'' is an American spin-off-continuation of British sketch show, '' Little Britain'', produced by and aired on HBO. As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such ...
'', in which he attends an American university and claims to be "the only gay on campus". In his first appearance, a gay student (Walliams) hijacks Daffyd's "Gay society" stand, feeling that he could do a better job at running it than Daffyd. He then starts admitting more gay people while Daffyd looks on in shock. This is the first time that another gay person has taken over his attempt to prove the fact that he is the only one. He later discovers that he is not the "only gay on campus" when he confronts two lesbians who are living next door for making too much noise when he is trying to sleep. He appears in the deleted scenes, in which he protests to his English lecturer about the apparent lack of gay writers in their syllabus. He handcuffs himself to a desk and swallows the key, only to discover that they have been studying
Truman Capote Truman Garcia Capote ( ; born Truman Streckfus Persons; September 30, 1924 – August 25, 1984) was an American novelist, screenwriter, playwright and actor. Several of his short stories, novels, and plays have been praised as literary classics, ...
and
Tennessee Williams Thomas Lanier Williams III (March 26, 1911 – February 25, 1983), known by his pen name Tennessee Williams, was an American playwright and screenwriter. Along with contemporaries Eugene O'Neill and Arthur Miller, he is considered among the thre ...
, two famous gay writers.


Dudley and Ting Tong

Appearances: Since Series 3
Catchphrase: Ting Tong: "Pwease Mr. Dudwey!" "My name Ting Tong, Ting Tong Macadangdang." "Did you have good time?"
Dudley: "Maybe just... ONE more night..." Dudley Punt ordered a Thai bride from a magazine. However, Ting Tong Macadangdang is quite the opposite of the slim, beautiful bride Dudley was expecting. He is not very happy about this, but for sex, he continues to let her stay "one more night". Dudley is very sarcastic and has a West Midlands accent. Ting Tong, on the other hand, is very loud and claims not to be able to understand Dudley a lot of the time, and refers to him as "Mister Dudwey". The sketches generally involve Dudley and Ting Tong's relationship blossoming, only for Ting Tong to reveal a secret about herself. Dudley would then order her out. She would then try to convince him through various methods to let her stay, to which he always gives in. Ting Tong has many secrets: it is revealed she is a lady-boy, born Tong Ting Macadangdang. She admitted that she comes from
Tooting Tooting is a district in South London, forming part of the London Borough of Wandsworth and partly in the London Borough of Merton. It is located south south-west of Charing Cross. History Tooting has been settled since pre-Saxon times. ...
in London, not from a remote Thai village called Pong Pong, as she'd originally claimed. Ting Tong eventually invited her entire family to live in Dudley's home, turned it into a Thai restaurant and forced him to spend Christmas Eve standing on his porch, waiting for it to close. Later, in ''Little Britain Abroad'', after finally getting married, they go on a honeymoon to Belgium, where they stay with Dudley's brother, who has married a beautiful Russian bride called Ivanka (which is actually not a Russian given name) who claims to be 18 years old. During this sketch, Dudley flirts with Ivanka, which makes Ting Tong jealous, so she plays Dudley and his brother a pornographic video Ivanka starred in, revealing she is not a virgin as she originally claimed. Dudley and Ting Tong stars in ''Little Britain'' since series 3 and ''Abroad''.


Toilet Cleaner

Appearances: Little Britain USA Episode 3
Catchphrase: "I don't look at
penis A penis (plural ''penises'' or ''penes'' () is the primary sexual organ that male animals use to inseminate females (or hermaphrodites) during copulation. Such organs occur in many animals, both vertebrate and invertebrate, but males d ...
" The toilet cleaner is a one off in ''Little Britain USA''. She seems to look at penises because despite repeatedly denying that she looks at penises, she says to a man "Sorry about your penis".


Viv Tudor

Appearances: Series 2
Catchphrase: "Ohhhh, he was gorgeous!" A recurring character in Series 2, Viv Tudor is seen to be the manager of a jewellery shop. In her first appearance, the police are at her shop, investigating a recent break-in. When the police sergeant (David Walliams) asks her to describe the robbers, she is only capable of saying 'Ohhhh, he was gorgeous!', not helping the investigation. In her final appearance, Viv is at the police station, where six possible robbers are given an identity parade. She claims that the final suspect was the robber, and says that they're 'Ohhhh, gorgeous!'


W


Warren

Appearances: Series 3, episode 4 Warren appears in a hospital, apparently on his deathbed. Throughout the sketch, he goes quiet and appears to be dead. However, as the family begin to mourn, he speaks again to reveal himself as still alive, and "still waiting". Towards the end of the sketch, he appears to die, as he does not speak for a long time. As his family starts to mourn, he gets out of bed and announces he needs to use the toilet, shocking the family. He also appears in deleted scenes from series 3, still waiting to die. It is obviously a long time since the last sketch and the family is preparing to leave. As they say goodbye and let the nurses to call if anything happens, Warren calls "Stay where you are..."


Matthew Waterhouse

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 4, 5, 6 and 7
Catchphrase: "Here's one for ya!; "Got another one!"; (slaps his hand on the desk) "How's that for starters?" Matthew Waterhouse is an inventor who presents very silly and crazy ideas for musicals, board games, impersonators and cereals, with a sketch on each subject, and usually barges into the person's office uninvited. Several examples of his ideas are breakfast cereal " Sugar Poofs: Real gay men frosted with sugar." or kissogram " John McCarthy-o-gram: I come in, handcuff myself to the radiator and talk about my time as a hostage in the
Lebanon Lebanon ( , ar, لُبْنَان, translit=lubnān, ), officially the Republic of Lebanon () or the Lebanese Republic, is a country in Western Asia. It is located between Syria to Lebanon–Syria border, the north and east and Israel to Blue ...
!" The character's name is a reference to the actor of the same name who played the character of Adric in the television science-fiction series '' Doctor Who'' in the early 1980s.


Dennis Waterman

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1 and 2 and Little Britain Live
Catchphrase: "Oooh that's nice!" "I'll do it! Long as I get to write the theme tune, shing the theme tune..." "Gonna write the theme tune, shing the theme tune..." Dennis Waterman is a very small actor who, unfortunately, always rejects proposed
parts Part, parts or PART may refer to: People *Armi Pärt (born 1991), Estonian handballer * Arvo Pärt (born 1935), Estonian classical composer *Brian Part (born 1962), American child actor *Dealtry Charles Part (1882–1961), sheriff (1926–1927) a ...
, insisting that he should "write the
theme tune Theme music is a musical composition that is often written specifically for radio programming, television shows, video games, or films and is usually played during the title sequence, opening credits, closing credits, and in some instances at ...
, sing the theme tune" every time, much to the chagrin of his theatrical agent,
Jeremy Jeremy may refer to: * Jeremy (given name), a given name * Jérémy, a French given name * ''Jeremy'' (film), a 1973 film * "Jeremy" (song), a song by Pearl Jam * Jeremy (snail), a left-coiled garden snail that died in 2017 * ''Jeremy'', a 19 ...
. However, when he is offered to reprise a role in a TV series in which he indeed gets to "write the theme tune, sing the theme tune", he responds "No thanks, I've moved on." His small size is seen when Jeremy hands him a small object, such as a 50p coin or a letter, that turns out to be larger than Dennis. His full height is seen in his final appearance – a minute figurine that looks similar to him is used. He bears little resemblance to the real Dennis Waterman, except that his 'theme tunes' are based on the '' Minder'' theme tune that Waterman sang himself (among others), but didn't write. The character is inspired by Lucas and Walliams having met Waterman at an awards ceremony and been surprised to see that he was shorter than he appeared to be during fight scenes in ''Minder'' and ''
The Sweeney ''The Sweeney'' is a 1970s British television police drama focusing on two members of the Flying Squad, a branch of the Metropolitan Police specialising in tackling armed robbery and violent crime in London. It stars John Thaw as Detective ...
''. The real Dennis Waterman has been quoted as saying "I did watch it, but I never saw that bit. I just saw a lot of some bloke dressed up as a woman".Little Britain TV Series One
The ''Little Britain Live'' stage show included a mock ad-lib sequence in which Lucas and Walliams question the logic of their caricature, which in fact bears little resemblance to Waterman. In a special recording of the sketch for
Comic Relief Comic relief is the inclusion of a humorous character, scene, or witty dialogue in an otherwise serious work, often to relieve tension. Definition Comic relief usually means a releasing of emotional or other tension resulting from a comic epis ...
2007, Waterman himself appears on stage and confronts the two, forcing them to admit that in voice and appearance, there is no resemblance. He is forced to concede that he has often written and sung the "theme tune" of programmes in which he has appeared.


Whitelaw

Appearances: Series 1 episode 6
Catchphrase: Do you know if anyone died in it? Whitelaw appears only once in the entire Series, at her local charity shop. She is seen to browse through the clothes rack, and when she finds something she likes, she always asks the shopkeepers if anyone died in the clothes she is holding. When Whitelaw finds some pale blue silk pyjamas, the assistant keeper (Matt Lucas) says that, just the day before, an elderly lady came in with her husband's clothes, saying he died in his sleep. Whitelaw then buys them.


Deleted scenes characters

Many characters from deleted scenes never got an appearance in the series, either due to time constraints, lack of laughs from the audience or due to a sometimes offensive story.


Bus Passenger

Played by: Matt Lucas
Appearances: Series 3 Deleted scenes A man (with the appearance of a Beanie) from the town of Frottage is generally seen on a bus on its way to Dung market centre. He likes to blurt out various tunes at random, to the annoyance of the person sitting next to him.


Stewie and Dale

Played by: Matt Lucas and David Walliams respectively
Appearances: Series 3 Deleted Scenes Stewie and Dale are two Scottish men working in their local supermarket. Whenever he sees a random person at a certain area of the shop, Dale will say that the person is a celebrity (he has said
Whoopi Goldberg Caryn Elaine Johnson (born November 13, 1955), known professionally as Whoopi Goldberg (), is an American actor, comedian, author, and television personality.Kuchwara, Michael (AP Drama Writer)"Whoopi Goldberg: A One-Woman Character Parade". ' ...
,
Danny DeVito Daniel Michael DeVito Jr. (born November 17, 1944) is an American actor, comedian, and filmmaker. He gained prominence for his portrayal of the taxi dispatcher Louie De Palma in the television series '' Taxi'' (1978–1983), which won him a Go ...
, and
Macaulay Culkin Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin (born Macaulay Carson Culkin; ) is an American actor. Often regarded as one of the most successful child actors of the 1990s, he was placed 2nd on VH1's list of the "100 Greatest Kid-Stars". Culkin rose to promi ...
), then Stewie will prove him wrong.


Barry Edwards

Played by: David Walliams Appearances: Radio show; Series 1 Deleted Scenes Barry Edwards' sketch consists of him with a new answerphone. When he tries to enter the 'please call me back' message, he tries many different ways of saying 'Hi, this is Barry. I'm sorry I can't answer your call, please call me back', including a serious tone, an excited and zany tone, a quiet, ominous whisper, an impersonation of Sir Ian McKellen and a faux Welsh accent, but each time ends up dissatisfied with the result and recording a new message. His final message is an incoherent whine, which he ultimately settles on.


Eugene

Played by: David Walliams
Appearances: Series 2 Deleted Scenes
Catchphrase: "Correct", "Incorrect", "Does that smell?", "Is it smelling?" Eugene appears in three clips of the deleted scenes. He is a musician, who plays nothing more than a triangle, and speaks with a
South African __NOTOC__ South African may relate to: * The nation of South Africa * South African Airways * South African English * South African people * Languages of South Africa * Southern Africa Southern Africa is the southernmost subregion of the Afric ...
accent. He is irrationally sensitive and always answers with the words "Correct" for positives and "Incorrect" for negatives. In each clip, he vandalizes colleagues' instruments for minor things that affected him. In his appearances, he: bends a flute because the owner in question trod on his toes; flattens the brass section's instruments because one of them said his lunchbox smelled, and saws a double bass in half because the owner was reading his Daily Express. After that occasion, he is fired from the orchestra, which results in him igniting gasoline all over the orchestra, proclaiming "I am correct, they are incorrect! I am correct, they are incorrect!"


Roland

Played by: David Walliams
Appearances: Series 2 Deleted scenes
Catchphrase: "Is it Pornoo...?"
Roland is a farm boy with a love of pornographic images, or "Pornoo" as he calls it. His suggestions for almost any question he is asked is various types of the subject, much to the concern of his family. The start of his sketches often sees him putting women's clothing on a pig. At the end of each sketch, he will take something off the kitchen table before returning to his room.


Ruth and her Mother

Played by: Matt Lucas and David Walliams
Appearances: Series 2 deleted scenes
Catchphrase: Ruth: "Muuuummmm!" Mother: "Meet me in the back in 5 minutes!" Ruth is a girl who works in a cafe with her mother. Her mother tries to get her daughter to fall in love with someone. She first makes her daughter do a dance in front of the customer, then later, makes her have sex with them.


Shy Hotel Guest

Played by: David Walliams
Appearances: ''Little Britain USA'' Deleted scenes
Catchphrases: "Pass it under the door please", "Pervert...!" Appearing in 2 deleted scenes, the Hotel Guest is never seen in person as he doesn't like to show his face, thus having his treatments and breakfasts slid under the door in unusual fashions. When the person he is addressing attempts to catch a glimpse of him under the door, he will shout "What are you lookin' at, you pervert!?" It is revealed in the second sketch that he has a third ear, the most likely explanation for his hate of other people seeing him.


Kim and Jill

Played by: Matt Lucas and David Walliams
Appearances: Series 2 Deleted scenes
Catchphrase: "He's handy is he?" Jill is a young woman who enjoys dating men of certain professions to exploit their skills and giving her free upgrades while she and her mother Kim laze about in the sun before they finish their work and she dumps them afterwards. Jill dates handy men like a plumber, a Sky electrician and an elderly Sikh gardener. The first two lightly accept her rejection but the very last is more eager, prompting Jill to actually ask him if she can "throw him in a pond".


Douglas Stirling

Played by: David Walliams
Appearances Series 1 Deleted scene
Catchphrase: Oh, so it's "The warmth of the sun reminded them that they were alive", '' uggests a ridiculous ending' Douglas Stirling is an author who is seen at a restaurant, meeting up with a potential publisher (played by Stirling Gallacher). He has written a masterpiece of nearly 700 pages, up until the last line which reads "Anyway, readers, I must go now, as my Mum is calling me for my tea". The publisher encourages him to change this line, although Douglas doesn't understand what is wrong with it. He then suggests other ridiculous endings, such as "The warmth of the sun reminded them that they were alive, ok bye" or "I've got to go now, as Graham Norton is just starting. Lots of love, Douglas". Douglas reluctantly agrees to remove the last line, to the publisher's relief, only for her to discover a new problem: the first line reads "Dear Mum".


Benjy

Played by: David Walliams
Appearances Series 2 Deleted scenes
Catchphrase: "My black friends"
Benjy is a man with an unusual obsession with
Black British Black British people are a multi-ethnic group of British citizens of either African or Afro-Caribbean descent.Gadsby, Meredith (2006), ''Sucking Salt: Caribbean Women Writers, Migration, and Survival'', University of Missouri Press, pp. 76– ...
men (whom he refers to as his "Black friends"). Only one sketch featuring him was made, in which he is seen to host a party whose invitees consist solely of this demographic. He is uncomfortable when one of the invitees brings along a
White British White British is an ethnicity classification used for the native white population identifying as English, Scottish, Welsh, Cornish, Northern Irish, or British in the United Kingdom Census. In the 2011 census, the White British population w ...
friend of his (played by Lucas), and only admits him after getting an absolute reassurance that the friend is not a racist. Throughout the sketch, he is seen to make constant politically incorrect remarks, to the discomfort of his party guests.


References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Little Britain Characters, List Of
Characters Character or Characters may refer to: Arts, entertainment, and media Literature * ''Character'' (novel), a 1936 Dutch novel by Ferdinand Bordewijk * ''Characters'' (Theophrastus), a classical Greek set of character sketches attributed to The ...
Lists of British sitcom television characters