Main characters
Arthur Dent
Along with Ford Prefect, Arthur Dent barely escapes the Earth's destruction as it is demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Arthur spends the next several years, still wearing his dressing gown, helplessly launched from crisis to crisis while trying to straighten out his lifestyle. He rather enjoys tea, but seems to have trouble obtaining it in the far reaches of the galaxy. In time, he learns how to fly and carves a niche for himself as a sandwich-maker. He is also worried about "everything."Ford Prefect
Ford Prefect is Arthur Dent's friend–and rescuer, when the Earth is unexpectedly demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass at the start of the story. Although his heart is in the right place and he is shown to be highly intelligent, resourceful, and even brave, Ford is essentially a dilettante when it comes to causes such as the search for the question to the ultimate answer of "life, the universe, and everything." Ford takes a more existential view of the universe, sometimes bordering on joyfulZaphod Beeblebrox
Zaphod Beeblebrox is a "semi-half-cousin" of Ford Prefect. He is hedonistic and irresponsible, narcissistic, and often extremely insensitive to the feelings of those around him. Zaphod invented the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Zaphod wears unique clothing that contains a mixture of bright and contrasting colours to make him stand out and be the centre of attention wherever he goes. He was voted "Worst Dressed Sentient Being in the Known Universe" seven consecutive times. He's been described as "the best Bang since the Big One" by Eccentrica Gallumbits, and as "one hoopy frood" by others. He was briefly the President of the Galaxy and is the only man to have survived the Total Perspective Vortex (In the artificial galaxy created by Zarniwoop).Marvin the Paranoid Android
Marvin the Paranoid Android is the ship's robot aboard the starship Heart of Gold. Built as one of many failed prototypes of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's GPP (Genuine People Personalities) technology, Marvin is afflicted with severe depression and boredom, in part because he has a "brain the size of a planet" which he is seldom, if ever, given the chance to use. Indeed, the true horror of Marvin's existence is that no task he could be given would occupy even the tiniest fraction of his vast intellect. Marvin claims he is 50,000 times more intelligent than a human.Trillian
Trillian (Tricia McMillan) is a mathematician and astrophysicist whom Arthur Dent attempted to talk to at a party in Islington. She and Arthur next meet six months later on the spaceship Heart of Gold, shortly after the Earth has been destroyed to make way for a hyperspace bypass.Slartibartfast
Slartibartfast is a Magrathean, and a designer of planets. His favourite part of the job is creating coastlines, the most notable of which are the fjords found on the coast of Norway on planet Earth, for which he won an award. When Earth Mk. II is being made, Slartibartfast is assigned to the continent of Africa. He is unhappy about this because he has begun "doing it with fjords again" (arguing that they give a continent a lovely baroque feel), but has been told by his superiors that they are "not equatorial enough". In relation to this, he expresses the view that he would "far rather be happy than right any day."Minor characters
Agrajag
Agrajag is a piteous creature that is continually reincarnated and subsequently killed, each time unknowingly, by Arthur Dent. Agrajag is first identified in , but it is revealed that several of Arthur's encounters in the first and second novels (and in previous chapters of the third) were with previous incarnations of Agrajag. The first occurs in , when a bowl of petunias is yanked into existence miles above the planet Magrathea in place of one of the missiles targeting the Heart of Gold after its Improbability Drive is used, and begins falling, having only time to think "Oh, no, not again" before crashing to the ground. The ''Guide'' states that "many had speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we should know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now". The reason behind the bowl's lament is revealed in , when Agrajag identifies the bowl of petunias as one of his prior incarnations, and tells Arthur that he had seen his face in a spaceship window as he fell to his doom. In another incarnation, Agrajag was a rabbit on prehistoric Earth (during the time period recounted in ) who was killed by Arthur for breakfast and whose skin was fashioned into a pouch, which is then used to swat a fly who also happened to be Agrajag. In yet another, near the beginning of , Agrajag is an old man who dies of a heart attack after seeing Arthur and Ford materialise, seated on aMrs Alice Beeblebrox
Alice Beeblebrox is Zaphod's favourite mother, lives at 108 Astral Crescent, Zoovroozlechester, Betelgeuse V, and guards the true story of Zaphod's visit to the Frogstar, waiting for "the right price." She is referenced in .The Allitnils
As their names were written to suggest, every Allitnil is an anti-clone of a Lintilla. They were created by the cloning company to eliminate the billions of cloned Lintillas flooding out of a malfunctioning cloning machine. Being anti-clones, when an Allitnil comes into physical contact with a Lintilla, they both wink out of existence in a puff of unsmoke. Along with Poodoo and Varntvar the Priest, three Allitnils arrived on Brontitall to get the three Lintillas there to "agree to cease to be". Two of the clones eliminate their corresponding Lintillas, but Arthur shoots the third Allitnil, so that one Lintilla survives. Appearing only in , every one of the Allitnils is voiced by David Tate. The Allitnils, like the Lintillas, do not appear in the novels or in the BBC television series.Almighty Bob
The Almighty Bob is aAnjie
Anjie was a woman, on the brink of retirement, on whose behalf a raffle was being held in order to buy her a kidney machine. An unnamed woman (played by June Whitfield on the radio) convinces Arthur Dent to buy raffle tickets while he and Fenchurch are in a railway pub, attempting to have lunch. Arthur won an album of bagpipe music. Referred to in:Arcturan Megafreighter crew
The captain and first officer were the only crew of an Arcturan Megafreighter carrying a larger number of copies of ''Playbeing'' magazine than the mind can comfortably conceive. They brought Zaphod Beeblebrox to Ursa Minor Beta, after he had escaped from the Haggunenon flagship. Zaphod was let on board by the Number One, who was cynical about the Guide's editors becoming soft. He admired the fact that Zaphod was ''"hitching the hard way"''. They only appear in , where the captain is played by David Tate, and his number one by Bill Paterson. However, some of their dialogue was given to other characters in .Aseed
Leader of the cheese-worshipping Tyromancers on the planet Nano. Appears in .Barmen
Three different barmen appear during the series.Barman of the Horse and Groom
In , in , and the film, Ford and Arthur quickly down three pints each – at lunchtime – to calm their muscles before using the teleport to escape on the Vogon ship. Being told the world is about to end he calls "last orders, please." The Red Lion Inn at Chelwood Gate, East Sussex, was used during the TV series, and referenced in the dialogue (Adams himself can be seen in the background of this scene); Steve Conway played the character on TV. This barman was played by David Gooderson in the original radio series and Stephen Moore in the LP recording. In the 2005 motion picture, Albie Woodington portrayed the barman.Barman in Old Pink Dog Bar
Ford visits the Old Pink Dog Bar in Han Dold City, orders a round for everyone and then tries to use an American Express card to pay for it, fails, is threatened by a disembodied hand and so offers a Guide write-up instead. This happens in . In the radio adaptation of this novel, the barman was played by Arthur Smith.Barman in the Domain of the King
Another barman takes a galactic sized tip for Elvis from Ford on his Hitchhiker's corporate Dine-O-Charge credit card in an attempt to bankrupt InfiniDim Enterprises in and the final radio series. This bartender was played byBBC department head
When Arthur returns to Earth in he calls his department head to explain why he was absent from work the last six months: "I've gone mad." His superior is very relaxed about it and asks when Arthur will return to work, and is quite satisfied by the reply "When do hedgehogs stop hibernating?" In the fourth radio series the part was played by Geoffrey Perkins, who had produced the first two radio series and who had been the BBC TV head of comedy from 1995 to 2001.Blart Versenwald III
In the epilogue of , Blart Versenwald III was a top genetic engineer, and a man who could never keep his mind on the job at hand. When his homeworld was under threat from an invading army, he was tasked with creating an army of super-soldiers to fight them. Instead, he created (among other things) a remarkable new breed of superfly that could distinguish between solid glass and an open window, and also an off-switch for children. Fortunately, because the invaders were only invading because they couldn't cope with things back home, they too were impressed with Blart's creations, and a flurry of economic treaties rapidly secured peace.Bodyguard
The strong silent type, an unnamed bodyguard is seen guarding the late Hotblack Desiato in . His face, according to the book "had the texture of an orange and the colour of an apple, but there the resemblance to anything sweet ended." In he is portrayed by actor David Prowse, ''Caveman
Arthur attempts to play Scrabble with a caveman, who is not even able to spell "Grunt" and "Agh", and "he's probably spelt library with one R again". However, he does spell " forty-two", giving Arthur the idea to pull out letters from the letters bag at random to attempt to find the ultimate question; this results in the unhelpful "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" which does not match the answer (except in base-13). Appears in played by David Jason, , and .Colin
Colin (a.k.a. part #223219B) is a small, round, melon-sized, flying security robot which Ford Prefect enslaves to aid in his escape from the newly re-organized Guide offices in . "Its motion sensors are the usual Sirius Cybernetics garbage." Ford captures Colin by trapping the robot with his towel and re-wiring the robot's pleasure circuits, inducing a cyber-ecstasy trip. Ford uses Colin's cheerfulness to break into the Guide's corporate accounting software in order to plant a Trojan Horse module that will automatically pay anything billed to his InfiniDim Enterprises credit card. Colin also saves Ford's life when the Guide's new security force, the Vogons, fire at him with aConstant Mown
Crew member on the Vogon ship commanded byDr. Dan Streetmentioner
Author of ''Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations'' which is handy for those travelling through time, and especially to Milliways. His guide is more complete than ''The Guide'' itself, which ignores the time travel tense topic – other than pointing out that the term 'future perfect' has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be. He is also mentioned in the third radio series, which gives many examples of his tense forms.Deep Thought
Deep Thought is a computer that was created by a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent species of beings (whose three-dimensional protrusions into our universe are ordinary white mice) to come up with the Answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Deep Thought is the size of a small city. When, after seven and a half million years of calculation, the answer finally turns out to be 42, Deep Thought admonishes Loonquawl and Phouchg (the receivers of the Ultimate Answer) that " hechecked it very thoroughly, and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you is that you've never actually known what the question was." Deep Thought does not know the ultimate question to Life, the Universe and Everything, but offers to design an even more powerful computer, Earth, to calculate it. After ten million years of calculation, the Earth is destroyed by Vogons five minutes before the computation is complete. Appears in: * On radio, Deep Thought was voiced by Geoffrey McGivern. On television and in the LP re-recording of the radio series, it was voiced by Valentine Dyall. In the feature film Deep Thought's voice was provided by actressDionah Carlinton Housney
Dionah appears in '' And Another Thing...'' by Eoin Colfer. Dionah is one of Zaphod Beeblebrox's favorite singer/prostitutes. She appears out of nowhere in the 'Heart of Gold' starship and sings Zaphod a cryptic song about the entrance to the planet Asgard. Zaphod does not understand the song. She vanishes after saying "oh for Zark's sake" and then turns into an ice sculpture of herself. The sculpture soon melts into water, the water droplets rise up into the ceiling and every drop disappears after making a 'oh' sound. Zaphod later comments "That girl always could sing".Disaster Area's chief research accountant
As Disaster Area's earnings require hypermathematics, their chief research accountant was named Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon and in his ''Special Theories of Tax Returns'' he proves thatDish of the Day
The quadruped Dish of the Day is an Ameglian Major Cow, a ruminant specifically bred to not only have the desire to be eaten, but to be capable of saying so quite clearly. When asked if he would like to see the Dish of the Day, Zaphod replies, "We'll meet the meat." The Major Cow's quite vocal and emphatic desire to be consumed by Milliways' patrons is the most revolting thing that Arthur Dent has ever heard, and the Dish is nonplussed by a queasy Arthur's subsequent order of aEast River Creature
As Ford Prefect travels through space in a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation spaceship, he has a dream in which he encounters a strange creature made of slime from the East River in New York who has just come into existence. After asking Ford a series of questions about life, and Ford's recommendation of finding love on 7th Avenue, the creature leaves Ford to talk to a nearby policeman on his status in life. Appearances: * * In , the East River character was played by American comedianEccentrica Gallumbits
Known as "The Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six", Eccentrica Gallumbits, the author of ''The Big Bang Theory – A Personal View'', is mentioned in all six of the novels. She is first mentioned in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' when Arthur looks up ''Earth'' for the first time in the guide. The entry for Earth follows that for Eccentrica Gallumbits. She is heard about again during a newscast that Zaphod Beeblebrox tunes into shortly after stealing the spaceship ''Heart of Gold''. The newsreader quotes Eccentrica describing Zaphod as "The best bang since the Big One." It was also reported in that Zaphod had delivered a presidential address from her bedroom on at least one occasion. Commentary on Zaphod in intimates that one reason for his acquiring a third arm is the ability to fondle all of Eccentrica's breasts at the same time. Pears Gallumbit, a dessert which has several things in common with her, is available at Milliways. Some people say her erogenous zones start some four miles from her actual body; Ford Prefect disagrees, saying five. She is referenced in an issue of the ''Eddie
Eddie is the name of the shipboard computer on the starship ''Heart of Gold''. Like every other system on the spaceship, it has a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Genuine People Personality. Thus, Eddie is over-excitable, quite talkative, over-enthused and ingratiating, or alternatively a coddling, school matron-type as a back-up personality. Shipboard networking interconnects Eddie with everything on the ''Heart of Gold''; at one point, the whole ship is effectively crippled by Arthur Dent's request for tea from the Nutrimatic drinks dispenser; the computation of which nearly crashed Eddie and everything connected to him. On one occasion when certain destruction seems quite imminent, Eddie sings " You'll Never Walk Alone" in a cheesy and upbeat tone. Appears in: * * * * He is voiced in the first two radio series and on television by David Tate. In the television version, Eddie has lights on his case that flash when he speaks. Douglas Adams read in Eddie's lines during filming to operate the lights. In the 2004–2005 radio series, he is voiced by Roger Gregg and in the 2005 feature film by Thomas Lennon.Effrafax of Wug
A sciento-Elders of Krikkit
The Elders of Krikkit were, in , under influence of the remains of the supercomputer Hactar, which æons previously had been blown to dust, but retained a measure of consciousness, and determined to destroy the entire universe using the supernova bomb they had built. Trillian used her feminine charm and smart rhetoric in an attempt to dissuade the elders, but failed to stop them deploying the ultimate weapon, which simply dented the council chamber badly.Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley is a real-life singer, who died in 1977. It has been suggested that he has beenEmperor of the Galaxy
Many millennia prior to the events of the series, the final Emperor of the Galactic Empire (in the ''Hitchhiker's'' universe) was placed into a stasis field during his dying moments: thus leaving the Empire with a technically ruling, but actually near-dead Emperor, with all his heirs long since dead. And so today, an Imperial President, elected by the Galactic Assembly, has all the trappings of power, without actually wielding any. This was the office held byMrs Enid Kapelsen
An old woman from Boston who rediscovers purpose in life by seeing Arthur and Fenchurch flying (and performing "other activities") outside the aeroplane within which she is flying to Heathrow. Witnessing this, she became enlightened, and realized that everything she had ever been taught was varyingly incorrect. She annoys the flight attendants by continually pressing her call button for reasons such as "the child in front was making milk come out of his nose." Later she ends up seated next to Arthur and Fenchurch on another aeroplane en route from Los Angeles to London (though in the original radio series, she flies with Arthur and Fenchurch on a flight from London to Los Angeles). Appears in: * She was played by Margaret Robertson in during the Quandary Phase.Eric Bartlett
In , it is gardener Eric Bartlett who discovers that space-aliens have landed on Tricia's lawn and haven't cut her grass.Fenchurch
Fenchurch is Arthur Dent's soulmate in the fourth book of the Hitchhiker "trilogy", . Fenchurch was named after the Fenchurch Street railway station where she was conceived in the ticket queue. Adams revealed in an interview that it was really the ticket queues at Paddington Station that made him think of conceiving a character there, but chose Fenchurch to avoid complications with Paddington Bear. She first appears as the unnamed girl in the café on the first page of ; she is the girl referred to as "sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth." In , when the Earth and everyone including Fenchurch had mysteriously reappeared, a romantic relationship blooms between her and Arthur Dent. He teaches her to fly, before a first aerial sexual encounter, and a second with a Sony Walkman. At the beginning of , Fenchurch is referred to as having vanished during a hyperspace jump on their first intergalactic holiday. Douglas Adams later said that he wanted to get rid of the character as she was getting in the way of the story. Much of this is evident from the self-referential prose surrounding Arthur and Fenchurch's relationship. In , she is revealed to have been working as a waitress at Milliways since she vanished, and is reunited with Arthur Dent. In to and Fenchurch is played by actress Jane Horrocks. She appears in the television series played by an uncredited actress for the "girl in a café in Rickmansworth" segment from the second episode. Her appearance corresponds to the one described in ''So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish''. In the computer of the ''Tanngrisnir'' takes the form of Fenchurch in its programmed attempts to live out the sub-conscious desires of the ship's occupiers. While in this form she and Arthur talk and ponder together, exacerbated by the effects of the ship's dark matter travel on people's emotions. Later in the book Arthur encounters another form of Fenchurch during a travel in hyperspace only to dematerialize, similar to his Fenchurch, across a plural zone into a different part of the universe. Appears in: * (unnamed cameo) * * (only mentioned in passing) * *Fenchurch Everris, mentioned in Destiny 1 and 2, was likely inspired by Fenchurch.Frankie and Benjy Mouse
Frankie and Benjy are the mice that Arthur (et al.) encounter on Magrathea. Frankie and Benjy wish to extract the final readout data from Arthur's brain to get theFrat Gadz
Frat Gadz wrote the handbook titled ''Heavily Modified Face Flannels'', which is described by The Guide as "an altogether terser work for masochists" in .Frogstar Prisoner Relations Officer
In the Frogstar Prisoner Relations Officer (referred to in the scripts as the "FPRO") does his best to annoy Zaphod by hosing him down, letting him think that he escaped to an Ursa Minor robot disco by body debit card, asking him for an autograph and teleporting away whilst Zaphod helps him with his respiratory problem – that he is breathing.Gag Halfrunt
Gag Halfrunt is the private brain care specialist of Zaphod Beeblebrox andGail Andrews
In , Gail Andrews is anGargravarr
Gargravarr, the disembodied mind and custodian of the Total Perspective Vortex on Frogstar World B ("the most totally evil place in the galaxy"), suffers from real-lifeGarkbit
Garkbit is the Head Waiter at Milliways, the impossible "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". He is unfazed by Arthur, Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian's unruly arrival. He has a fine sales patter and a dry sense of humour. Appears in: * In the radio series Garkbit is played byGenghis Temüjin Khan
Son of Yesügei,Girl with a Master's degree
After leaving the Old Pink Dog Bar (in ) Ford Prefect discovers his life's work has been undeleted. He shares this discovery and some Ol' Janx Spirit with a working girl who has "a Master's degree in Social Economics and can be very convincing". Engrossed in his own writing, she leaves Ford and leaves with a client in a steel grey Han Dold limousine. Ford later overhears her saying "It's OK, honey, it's really OK, you got to learn to feel good about it. Look at the way the whole economy is structured...".God
Aside from being the favourite subject of authorGogrilla Mincefriend
An enterprising chap who addressed the problem of elevators refusing to operate because they had been afforded a degree ofGolgafrinchans
The Golgafrinchans first appear in . In the novel series, their appearances are all in and they appear in . In all formats, the story is essentially the same. Following their adventures at Milliways, Arthur and Ford teleport onto an "Ark Ship" containing a number of Golgafrinchans. This particular group consists of the Wodehousian "middle class" who have common, middle-management types of occupations. They were sent away from their planet under false pretences by the (upper class) "thinkers" and (working class) "doers" of their society, who deemed them useless. They were told that the entire society had to move to a new planet, with a variety of thin excuses, and that it was necessary for them to go first to prepare the new planet for their occupation. However, it turns out that one of the middle-men was necessary for survival, and as a result, the rest of the Golgafrinchan society died off (see below). They arrive on Earth, where they become the ancestors of modern humans, except in the novel ''Life, The Universe, and Everything'', in which in the beginning it is mentioned that they ended up dying out instead of the cavemen.Agda and Mella
Agda and Mella are Golgafrinchan girls that Arthur and Ford hit on. On Golgafrincham, Agda used to be a junior personnel officer and Mella anCaptain
The Captain of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B likes to bathe with his rubber duck (he spent practically the entire time he was captain of the B Ark and as much of his time on Earth, a total time of over three years, as has been documented in the bath) and has got a very relaxed attitude towards everything. The Captain also has a fondness for a drink called "jynnan tonnyx". His personality was based on Douglas Adams' habit of taking long baths as a method of procrastination to avoid writing. He was voiced by David Jason in the radio series and by Frank Middlemass in the LP album adaptation. On television, he was played by Aubrey Morris.Great Circling Poets of Arium
These rock throwing poets can be seen in the ''Guide'' graphics in , heard about in and read about in . They are original inhabitants of Golgafrincham, one of whose descendants inspire the stories that caused the creation of the "'B' Ark" that Arthur and Ford find themselves on. The first part of their songs tell of how five princes with four horses from the City of Vassilian travel widely in distant lands, and the latter – and longer – part of the songs is about which of them is going to walk back.Hairdresser
One of the Golgafrinchans on the prehistoric Earth, the hairdresser was put in charge of the fire development sub-committee. They gave him a couple of sticks to rub together, but he made them into a pair of scissors in the radio series, or curling tongs in the television and book series. He was played by Aubrey Woods in the radio series, by Stephen Greif in the LP album adaptation, and by David Rowlands on television.Management consultant
The Golgafrinchans' management consultant tried to arrange the meetings of the colonization committee along the lines of a traditional committee structure, complete with a chair and an agenda. He was also in charge of fiscal policy, and decided to adopt the leaf as legal tender, making everyone immensely rich. In order to solve the inflation problem this caused, he planned a major deforestation campaign to revalue the leaf by burning down all the forests. He was played by Jonathan Cecil in the radio series, by David Tate in the LP album adaptation, and by Jon Glover on television.Marketing girl
Another Golgafrinchan on prehistoric Earth, the marketing girl assisted the hairdresser's fire development sub-committee in researching what consumers want from fire and how they relate to it and if they want it fitted nasally. She also tried to invent the wheel, but had a little difficulty deciding what colour it should be. She was played by Beth Porter both in the radio series and on television and by Leueen Willoughby in the LP album adaptation.Number One
Number One is the First officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He is not very smart, having difficulty tying up his shoelaces, but is regarded by the captain as a nice chap. His only function to appear in the series is to offer Ford and Arthur drinks. He was voiced by Jonathan Cecil in the radio series and by David Tate in the LP album adaptation. On television, the character was renamed Number Three and played by Geoffrey Beevers.Number Two
Number Two is a militaristic officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He belongs to the Golgafrinchan 3rd Regiment. He captures Arthur and Ford and interrogates them. When they land on Earth, Number Two declares a war on another, uninhabited continent, leaving an "open-ended ultimatum", blows up some trees which he claims are "potential military installations," and 'interrogates' a gazelle. He likes shouting a lot, and thinks the Captain is an idiot. He is played by Aubrey Woods in the radio series and by Stephen Greif in the LP album adaptation. On television, the character was divided into two different characters: Number Two played by David Neville on the planet Earth, and Number One played by Matthew Scurfield on the B Ark.Telephone Sanitizer
The Golgafrinchan telephone sanitizer is in . By tragic coincidence, after all the telephone sanitizers were sent away with the rest of the "useless" Golgafrinchans, the rest of the society died off from an infectious disease contracted from an "unexpectedly dirty" telephone.Googleplex Starthinker
In the scripts for , the first programmer asks Deep Thought if it is not "a greater analyst than the Googleplex Starthinker in the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity which can calculate the trajectory of every single dust particle throughout a five-week Aldebaran sand blizzard?", which the great computer dismisses because he has already "contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in theGreat Green Arkleseizure
The creator of the universe, according to the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI. Their legend has it that the universe was sneezed out of the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure, and they thus "live in perpetual fear of the time they call 'The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief'" (their cosmology's own version of the end of the Universe). In the movie, Humma Kavula, played by John Malkovich, is a missionary of the Great Green Arkleseizure religion on Viltvodle VI, ending his sermons with a simple "Bless you". The Jatravartid's God appears (conceptually) in , , and .Great Hyperlobic Omnicognate Neutron Wrangler
A great computer, which according to Deep Thought, can "talk all four legs off an Arcturian Megadonkey" (although Deep Thought could allegedly persuade said Megadonkey to go for a walk ''afterwards''), from .Grunthos the Flatulent
Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, just between Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings and the Vogons. During Arthur and Ford's torture by Vogon poetry, the Guide recites a tale of how, during a reading by Grunthos of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", "four of the audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off." Reportedly "disappointed" by the reception of his poem, Grunthos then prepared to read his 12-book epic, ''My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles'' (or ''Zen and the Art of Going to the Lavatory'' in ). He was prevented from doing so when his small intestine leapt up his neck and throttled his brain in a desperate bid to save civilization, killing him. Excerpt from "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", taken from the TV series graphics: :''Putty. Putty. Putty.'' :''Green Putty – Grutty Peen.'' :''Grarmpitutty – Morning!'' :''Pridsummer – Grorning Utty!'' :''Discovery..... Oh.'' :''Putty?..... Armpit?'' :''Armpit..... Putty.'' :''Not even a particularly'' :''Nice shade of green.'' Excerpt from "''Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory''", also taken from the TV series :''Relax mind'' :''Relax body'' :''Relax bowels'' :''Relax.'' :''Do not fall over.'' :''You are a cloud.'' :''You are raining.'' :''Do not rain'' :''While train'' :''Is standing at a station.'' :''Move with the wind.'' :''Apologise where necessary.'' Appears in: *'' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy''Guide Mark II
In the fifth novel, the Guide Mark II is used by the Vogons to help them destroy all the many Earths that appear in the novels. By using ''reverse temporal engineering'' throughout the book, the Guide Mark II – which takes on the appearance of a bird with ''Hactar
Flexible and imaginative, Hactar was the first computer whose individual components reflected the pattern of the whole. Hactar is assembled and programmed by the Silastic Armourfiends, who then order him to assemble an "Ultimate Weapon." Hactar, receiving no other guidance from the Armourfiends, takes the request literally and builds a supernova bomb which would connect every major sun in the universe through hyperspace, thus causing everyHaggunenon Underfleet Commander
The Underfleet Commander reports directly to the Haggunenon Admiral. The admiral had gone off for a quick meal at Milliways, where Ford and Zaphod attempted to steal his/her/its/their flagship. But as it had a pre-set return course, it resumed its place at the front of about a hundred thousand horribly be-weaponed black battle cruisers. But because the Haggunenons have very unstable DNA and change their shape/appearance at random and often inconvenient times, the Underfleet Commander mistakenly assumes that Zaphod and Trillian are actually the admiral. The Underfleet Commander only appears in , voiced by Aubrey Woods. The Haggunenons were written out of subsequent versions, as they were originally co-written withHeimdall
Keeper of the gate into Asgard. Appears in .Hig Hurtenflurst
Hig Hurtenflurst "only happens to be" the risingest young executive in the Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation. During , he is on Brontitall. What he is doing there is something of a mystery, as theHillman Hunter
Hillman Hunter is an Irish property developer from Earth who has been tricked by Zaphod into moving to a planet created by Magrathea. He interviews various gods, as he is keen to employ Thor to keep the society he has created on the planet devoutly controlled. He acts as a "stereotype Paddy from a bygone era" using phrases such as ''Bejaysus'' and invoking leprechauns. He is a major character in . He has considerable problems with the Tyromancers from an alternative reality who have also settled on the planet. Like Ford Prefect, whose name derived from the Ford Prefect automobile, Hillman Hunter's name derives from an automobile sold in the United Kingdom in the 1960s. In the radio series ''Hexagonal Phase'', Hunter was played by Ed Byrne.Hotblack Desiato
Hotblack Desiato is the guitar keyboard player of the plutonium rock group ''Disaster Area'', claimed to be the loudest band in the universe, and in fact the loudest noise of any kind, anywhere. So loud is this band that the audience usually listens from the safe distance of away in a well-built concrete bunker. ''Disaster Area's'' lavish performances went so far as to crash a space ship into the sun to create a solar flare.Humma Kavula
Humma Kavula is a semi-insane missionary living amongst the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI, and a former space pirate. (It was presumably during his time as a pirate that he lost his lower half and had it replaced with telescoping mechanical spider appendages). He wears thick glasses, which make his eyes appear normal when worn; however, when he removes the glasses, he appears to have shrunken black pits where his eyes should be. He seems to be a religious leader on that planet, preaching about the ''Coming of the Great White Handkerchief'' (The Jatravartids' interpretation of the end of the universe, as they believe the universe was sneezed out of the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure). Hence, his sermons end with the words "Bless You" rather than "Amen" as all the Jatravartids sneeze stimultaneously at the end of a 'prayer'. He also ran against Zaphod Beeblebrox in the campaign for President of the Galaxy with the "anti-Zaphod" campaign slogan "Don't Vote For Stupid," but lost, and has remained bitter about it ever since. In the film he is seeking the Point-of-View Gun to further his religion's acceptance (presumably), and he takes one of Zaphod's two heads and one of his three arms (though its removal is not shown, Zaphod says while attempting to avoid the thermonuclear missiles above Magrathea "I can't do this without my third arm") hostage to ensure his help. While the Jatravartids were mentioned in the books, the character of Humma Kavula was created by Adams for . Quoting Robbie Stamp: "All the substantive new ideas in the movie, Humma, the Point of View Gun and the "paddle slapping sequence" on Vogsphere are brand new Douglas ideas written especially for the movie by him." Appears in: *the 2005 film ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', played by John Malkovich.Hurling Frootmig
Hurling Frootmig is said to be the founding editor of the Hitchhiker's Guide, who "established its fundamental principles of honesty and idealism, and went bust." Later, after much soul-searching, he re-established the Guide with its "principles of honesty and idealism and where you could stuff them both, and went on to lead the Guide to its first major commercial success." He is mentioned in . He did not make , but was mentioned in .Judiciary Pag
His High Judgmental Supremacy, Judiciary Pag, L.I.V.R. (the Learned, Impartial, and Very Relaxed) was the chairman of the board of Judges at the Krikkit War Crimes Trial. He privately called himself Zipo Bibrok 5 × 108 (which is five hundred million or half a billion in short-scale terminology). It was Judiciary Pag's idea that the people of Krikkit be permanently sealed in a Slo-Time envelope, and the seal could only be broken by bringing a special Key to the Lock. When the rest of the universe had ended, the seal would be broken and Krikkit could continue a solitary existence in the universe. This judgement seemed to please everybody except the people of Krikkit themselves, but the only alternative was to face annihilation. Pag appears to be related to Zaphod Beeblebrox; they share the same carefree and charming attitude, and Pag's real name (Zipo Bibrok 5 × 108) appears to be a mutation of Zaphod's name. (They also share the initials Z.B.) Since the Beeblebrox family lives backwards in time, Pag (despite living in the distant past) is therefore one of Zaphod's descendants. Appears in: * He is played on radio by Rupert Degas, and appears in .Karl Mueller
Karl Mueller operates a nightclub, Club Alpha, in New York City. He is German with a Greek mother, and was handed the running of the club by his brother Stavro Mueller, who renamed Club Alpha with his own name. He appears in , in the storyline regarding the final death of Agrajag.Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog
A dog belonging to advertiser Will Smithers which was so stupid that it was incapable of eating the right dog food on camera, even when engine oil was poured on the wrong food. It was so named because its hair stuck upright on its head in a way that resembledKrikkiters
Ford, Arthur, Trillian and Slartibartfast meet a group of murderous Krikkiters on the surface of their planet. Away from the influence of Hactar, they are troubled by their Elders wanting to destroy the Universe as they are keen to have sporting links with the rest of the Galaxy. They appear in and the Tertiary Phase of the radio series. They're described as being white, but that's nearly all the indication of their appearance in the book series, but the cover of the CD version of the Tertiary Phase features a drawing of the robots, one of them batting a Cricket ball. On the image, they look rather like Marvin from the 2005 movie, only with longer legs, and smaller heads, including sunglasses-like eyes and antennae, like a play on their name.Kwaltz
Kwaltz is one of the Vogons on Vogsphere, directing Jeltz's Vogon Constructor Fleet during the demolition of Earth and enforcing the galaxy's bureaucracy. He is the partner and advisor of vice-president Questular Rontok, who seems to care more about winning Zaphod's affections than retrieving the ''Heart of Gold.'' Kwaltz also leads a team of a few hundred Vogons to capture the president's kidnapper in the penultimate scene of the movie, a chase which takes them to Magrathea, where they discover and capture Marvin the Paranoid Android (not shown), then to Earth Mark II, where they shoot up Arthur Dent's house, and are finally defeated by Marvin who gives them all a lethargic and depressed nature, at least for the moment, by use of the Point-of-view gun which works on non-organic life forms. Appears in: *, voiced by Ian McNeice.Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton
Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton is described in the original radio script as "a sort of Margaret Thatcher, Penelope Keith character." She is responsible for christening the "very splendid and worthwhile yellow bulldozer" which knocks down Arthur Dent's house in "cruddy Cottington", and it gives her "great pleasure" to make a "very splendid and worthwhile" speech beforehand. She only appears in , where she was voiced by Jo Kendall. Her "very splendid and worthwhile" lines were entirely dropped from later versions.The Lajestic Vantrashell of Lob
The Lajestic Vantrashell of Lob is a small man with a strange hat who guards God's Final Message to His Creation, and who sells Arthur and Fenchurch a ticket to it before passing them on a scooter and imploring them to "keep to the left". Introduced by Prak in the epilogue to , he finally appears towards the end of when we also realize that he has been a regular visitor to Wonko The Sane, who describes angels with golden beards and green wings, Dr Scholl sandals, who eat nachos and do a lot of coke. He says that he runs a concession stand by the message and when Wonko says "I don't know what that means" he says "no, you don't".Lallafa
Lallafa was an ancient poet who lived in the forests of the Long Lands of Effa. His home inspired him to write a poetic opus known as ''The Songs of the Long Land'' on pages made of dried habraLazlar Lyricon
A customizer of starships to the rich and famous time travellers, who first appeared in , and later in and . Ford Prefect apparently believes that "the man has no shame." His trademark is an infra-pink lizard emblem.Lig Lury, Jr
The fourth editor of the Guide, who never actually resigned from his job. He simply left one morning for lunch and never returned to his office, making all later holders of the position "Acting Editors." His old office is still preserved by the Guide employees in the hope that he will return. His desk sports a sign that reads "Missing, presumed fed."Lintilla
Lintilla is a rather unfortunate woman who has (as of ) beenLoonquawl and Phouchg
:''See Phouchg and Loonquawl''The Lord
The Lord is a cat, owned by The Ruler of the Universe. He might like fish and might like people singing songs to him, as the Ruler of the Universe isn't certain if people come to talk to him, or sing songs to his cat or even if the cat exists at all. Appears in: * *Lord High Sanvalvwag of Hollop
A man who never married. Had he done so, and forgotten his wife's birthday for the second year, he would have globbered. This definition of globber casts doubt on the usefulness of ''Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary of Every Language Ever''. (''Life, the Universe and Everything'')Lunkwill and Fook
Lunkwill and Fook are the two programmers chosen to receive Deep Thought's answer to the great question of Life, The Universe, and Everything! 7-1/2 million years after the day of the Great On-Turning. Appear in: * On TV,Magician
Appears wandering along a beach in , but no one needs him.Majikthise and Vroomfondel
Majikthise and Vroomfondel may (or may not) be philosophers. They quite definitely appear as representatives of the ''Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and other Professional Thinking Persons''. When the supercomputer Deep Thought is being programmed to determine the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything, they declare a demarcation dispute since the search for ultimate truth is the "inalienable prerogative of your professional working thinkers". They insist on rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty, and demand Deep Thought be switched off immediately. They are disarmed when Deep Thought, already committed to its seven and a half million years' calculation, suggests that a great deal of money can be made by philosophers willing to exploit the expected media interest. It is later apparent that their distant descendants revere them as "the greatest and most truly interesting pundits the universe has ever known." Appear in: * On radio, Majikthise was played by Jonathan Adams, and Vroomfondel was played byMax Quordlepleen
Max Quordlepleen is an entertainer who hosts at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe and the Big Bang Burger Bar (or "Big Bang Burger Chef" in the original radio version). His feelings about the Universe outside of his onstage persona are unclear, but he has witnessed its end over five hundred times. His name is derived from a phenomenon during a rocket's ascent. Appears in: * On radio,Mo Minetti
In , it is Mo Minetti who had left, due to pregnancy, being the anchor the USAM TV breakfast show which Tricia McMillan is in New York to try out for. Apparently, she declined, surprisingly for reasons of taste, to deliver her child on the air.Murray Bost Henson
Murray Bost Henson is "a journalist from one of those papers with small pages and big print" as Arthur Dent puts it. He is a friend of Arthur's whom Arthur phones one day to find out how he can get in touch with Wonko the Sane, and uses odd idioms in conversation, including such phrases as "my old silver tureen", "my old elephant tusk" and "my old prosthetic limb" (as terms of endearment) and "the Great Golden Spike in the sky" (referring to the death-place of old newspaper stories). He is played in by Stephen Fry.Old Man on the Poles
Played by Saeed Jaffrey in the old man on the poles on Hawalius, tells Arthur some old information wrapped up as news, and that everyone should have a beach house. The character appears in .Old Thrashbarg
Old Thrashbarg first appears in , as a sort of priest on Lamuella, the planet on which Arthur becomes the Sandwich-Maker. He worships "Bob" and is often ignored by his villagers. Whenever he is questioned about Almighty Bob he merely describes him as "ineffable." No one on Lamuella knows what this means, because Thrashbarg owns the only dictionary, and it is "the ineffable will of Almighty Bob" that he keeps it to himself. Someone who sneaked into his house while he was out having a swim found that " ineffable" was defined in the dictionary as "unknowable, indescribable, unutterable, not to be known or spoken about". In Fit the Twenty-Fifth and Fit the Twenty-Sixth of the radio series Old Thrashbarg is voiced by Griff Rhys Jones.Old Woman in the Cave
Played by Miriam Margolyes in , the smelly Old Woman in the Cave in the village of oracles on Hawalius provides Arthur Dent with bad olfactory stimulation and a photocopied story of her life, suggesting he live his life the opposite way so he won't end up living in a rancid cave. This occurs in . The original, real "smelly goat" event happened during the '' Last Chance to See'' radio series, found on the ''Oolon Colluphid
Oolon Colluphid is the author of several books on religious and other philosophical topics. Colluphid's works include: *''Where God Went Wrong'' *''Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes'' *''Who Is This God Person Anyway?'' *''Well That About Wraps It Up for God'' *''Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Guilt But Were Too Ashamed To Ask'' (A play on the title of a sex manual written by Dr. David Reuben which inspired a Woody AllenPaul Neil Milne Johnstone
Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, Essex, was the writer, according to Adams, of the worst poetry in the universe. He appeared under that name in the original radio series and the first printings of the 1979 novelization (Pan Books, paperback, page 53). The real Paul Neil Milne Johnstone (1952–2004) attended Brentwood School with Adams, and they jointly received a prize for English. At the school, Johnstone edited ''Broadsheet'', "the Artsphere Magazine" that included mock reviews by Adams as well as Johnstone's own poetry. Johnstone won anPhouchg and Loonquawl
In the first novel, Phouchg and Loonquawl received Deep Thought's answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything on the day of the answer, seven and a half million years (75,000 generations) after Deep Thought had been asked the question. They were chosen at birth for this task. The name "Phouchg" may be a bastardization of the wordPoodoo
Poodoo is a representative of the cloning company responsible for all the Lintilla clones. He arrives on Brontitall with Varntvar The Priest on a mission to 'revoke' the three Lintillas there by marrying them to their anti-clones, each of which is named Allitnil. The marriage certificates are actually legally binding forms that make the signers agree to terminate their existence, and the unctuous Poodoo may therefore be a lawyer of some sort. After two of the newly married couples disappear in unsmoke, Arthur shoots the third Allitnil dead and, after tying up Poodoo and Varntvar, forces them to listen to a recording of Marvin's autobiography, so as he says, "It's all over for them." Poodoo only appears in , in which he is played by Ken Campbell.Prak
In the epilogue of , a journalist with the ''Sidereal Daily Mentioner'' tells of Prak and then collapses into a coma. Prak was a witness in a trial on Argabuthon where the Dwellers in the Forest were suing the Princes of the Plains and the Tribesmen of the Cold Hillsides. Prak was a messenger for Dwellers in the Forest sent to the other two parties to ask "the reason for this intolerable behaviour." He would always walk away thinking about how well-thought out the reason was, but he would always forget what it was by the time he got back. The white robots of Krikkit broke into the court room to steal the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice, as it was part of the Wikkit Gate Key. In so doing they may have jogged a surgeon's arm, while the surgeon was injecting Prak with truth serum, resulting in too high a dose. When the trial resumed, Prak was instructed to tell "the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth," which he did, in its entirety. People at the scene had to flee or risk insanity as Prak told every single bit of the entire truth of the entire universe and all of its history, much of which they found ghastly. Prak recalled that many of the weird bits involved frogs or Arthur Dent. As a result, when Arthur Dent came to visit him in search of the truth, he nearly died laughing. He never did write down anything he discovered while telling the truth, first because he could not find a pencil and then because he could not be bothered. He has therefore forgotten almost all of it, but did recall the address of God's Last Message to His Creation, which he gave to Arthur when the laughter subsided. He died afterwards, not having recovered from his laughing fit. On radio he appears in and is voiced by Chris Langham, who had played Arthur Dent in the very first stage adaptation of the scripts of the first radio series, in 1979.Pralite monks
Pralite monks are an order that undergo extreme mental training before taking their final vows to be locked in small metal boxes for the rest of their lives; consequently, the galaxy is full of ex-Pralite monks who leave the order just before taking their final vows. Ford visited the ex-Pralite monks to Mind Surf and learned the techniques he used to charm animals on prehistoric Earth long enough for him to kill them for food and clothing.President Hudson
Fictional former president of the US who was known to have had an affair with astrologer Gail Andrews in . One of his presidential orders was the bombing ofPrincess Hooli
On the tri-d TV, Trillian Astra reports on the future wedding of Princess Hooli of Raui Alpha to Prince Gid of the Soofling Dynasty whilst Arthur is visiting Hawalius in . The seer who is showing Arthur the future news in order to demonstrate the sudden lack of need for future tellings quickly changes the channel. Arthur says that he knows her (referring to Trillian) and tells the seer to turn the channel back. The seer, thinking that Arthur was referring to the princess, replies "Look mate, if I had to stand here saying hello to everyone who came by who knew Princess Hooli, I'd need a new set of lungs!"Mr Prosser
Mr L. Prosser is a nervous fat and shabby married 40-year-old road builder who would like to build aProstetnic Vogon Jeltz
The Vogon Captain in charge of overseeing the destruction of the Earth, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is sadistic, even by Vogon standards. When not shouting at or executing members of his own crew for insubordination, Jeltz enjoys torturing hitchhikers on board his ship by reading his poetry at them, then having them thrown out of an airlock into open space. Jeltz is described as being unpleasant to look at, even for other Vogons. Given that Ford Prefect describes Vogons as having "as much sex appeal as a road accident", one can only imagine how much worse Jeltz must appear. This may explain his disposition. It is revealed in that Jeltz had been hired by Gag Halfrunt to destroy the Earth. Halfrunt had been acting on behalf of a consortium of psychiatrists and the Imperial Galactic Government in order to prevent the discovery of the Ultimate Question. When Halfrunt learns that Arthur Dent escaped the planet's destruction, Jeltz is dispatched to track him down and destroy him. Jeltz is unable to complete this task, due to the intervention of Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth, Zaphod's great-grandfather. In , Jeltz is once again responsible for the destruction of the Earth, this time presumably killing Arthur, Ford, Trillian, and Arthur's daughter, Random. In , it is revealed that Jeltz did not kill Arthur, Ford, Trillian and Random. It is also revealed that he has a son called Constant Mown and that his space ship is called the ''Business End''. "Prostetnic Vogon" may be a title, rather than part of his name, during (), two other Prostetnic Vogons are heard from. Also, in , Gag Halfrunt refers to Jeltz as "Captain of Vogons Prostetnic" (although this may have been a play on Halfrunt's accent). Appears in: * * * * * In the first radio series, he was played by Bill Wallis. On television, it was Martin Benson. In the third, fourth and fifth radio series, he was played by Toby Longworth, although Longworth did not receive a credit for the role during the third series. In the film, he is voiced byQuestular Rontok
Questular Rontok is the Vice President of the Galaxy. This character did not appear in the radio or television series or any of the novels, being introduced in the 2005 film. Rontok is desperately in love with Zaphod Beeblebrox, the fugitive President of the Galaxy, and he knows it, as she unsuccessfully tries to hide it. Throughout , Questular alternately tries to arrest Zaphod for stealing the ''Heart of Gold'' (even enlisting the help of the Vogons), protects his life (when endangered by Vogon blaster fire), and at one point beseeches him to just give the stolen spaceship up. Questular appears to be the "doer", performing all the real functions of the Presidency, whilst Zaphod enjoys his status as the figurehead President. After Trillian interrogates Zaphod by repeatedly zapping him with the Point-of-view gun and he learns that she is truly in love with Arthur Dent and not him, he and Questular end up together at the end of the film, Zaphod telling her "Let's trip the light fantastic, babe." Questular is also jealous of Trillian for obvious reasons ("She's lying. She's skinny, and she's pretty, and she's lying!"), until Trillian and Zaphod part as lovers. In the early drafts of the film the character was male. In a deleted scene on the DVD, Questular expresses her love for Zaphod shortly after all the Vogons become depressed. In the 2005 movie, she is played by Anna Chancellor.Raffle ticket woman
In , Arthur Dent and Fenchurch attempt to get to know each other in a grim public house near Taunton railway station, their conversation is somewhat thwarted by a woman selling raffle tickets "for Anjie who's retiring". The numbers on both the front and back of the cloakroom ticket prove highly relevant to the protagonist. She is played in the Fit the Twentieth episode of the radio series by British comedy stalwart June Whitfield.Random Dent
Originally prophesied by her father, Arthur Dent, after he hears a Vogon for the first time (''"I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one."''), a disillusioned, teenaged Random Frequent Flyer Dent (the in-vitro progeny with Trillian Astra) is found in . The line is followed up in and , the 2005 radio series adaptation of this book. The newReceptionists
New York Hotel receptionist
In Tricia gets garbled messages via the receptionist from Gail Andrews. Tricia interprets the message "Not happy," as meaning Gail Andrews wasn't happy with their interview.Megadodo receptionist
Appearing in and the large, pink-winged, insectoid receptionist in the Megadodo offices points Zaphod using a petulant tentacle towards Zarniwoop's office, the one with a whole electronic universe in it, and is also bugged by Marvin who just wants someone to talk to. In , he directs Zaphod towards Zarniwoop's new office, having put on the old hippy act.Reg Nullify
Reg Nullify leads the "Cataclysmic Combo" band at Milliways. His band—from —performed on the LP album/cassette re-recording of and , released as ''The Restaurant at the End of the Universe''. The role was played by Graham de Wilde. In 1980 the song was also released as a track on an EP (Original Records ABO 5).Rob McKenna
Described by the scientific community in as a "Quasi Supernormal Incremental Precipitation Inducer," Rob McKenna is an ordinary lorry driver who can never get away from rain and he has a log-book showing that it has rained on him every day, anywhere that he has ever been, to prove it. Arthur suggests that he could show the diary to someone, which Rob does, making the media deem him a 'Rain God' (something which he actually is) for the clouds want "to be near him, to love him, to cherish him and to water him". This windfall gives him a lucrative career, taking money from resorts and similar places in exchange for not going there. Rob McKenna is, in '' So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish,'' a "miserable bastard and he knew it because he'd had a lot of people point it out to him...he disliked...everyone." In the book, he is shown only twice, first when he splashes Arthur Dent, who is hitchhiking in a normal environment, on the side of a desolate road in England, for the first time on record. Second when Arthur meets him in a café, in "Thundercloud Corner," Rob McKenna's personal spot, which most people wouldn't venture near. But McKenna is mentioned throughout the book, especially when he is hailed by the media as a "Rain God," though not in those terms. In the radio show, however, he picks Arthur up instead of ignoring him, and meets him again later, after he acquired his fame. He then has a much more positive attitude towards Life, the Universe, and Everything, and is thrilled to meet Arthur again. He explains, as the narrator does in the book, that "Quasi Supernormal Incremental Precipitation Inducer" means, in layman's terms, a Rain God, but the media couldn't call him simply that, because it would suggest that the ordinary people knew something they didn't. He appears in , and and is played by Bill Paterson, who also played one of the Arcturan Megafreighter crew in . Rob McKenna is assumed to be English because that is where he is always driving round, trying to escape the elements, and where, thanks to the summer resorts who've heard of him, he will be confined until his death in the Quintissential Phase; but in the Quandary Phase, he has a Scottish-sounding voice.Roosta
Roosta is a hitchhiker and researcher for the ''Guide'', whom Ford Prefect knows at least in passing and holds in some regard (Ford describes him as "a frood who really knows where his towel is"). He carries a special towel infused with nutrients,The Ruler of the Universe
The Ruler of the Universe is a man living in a small shack on a world that can only be reached with a key to an improbability field or use of an Infinite Improbability Drive. He does not want to rule the universe and tries not to whenever possible, and therefore is the ideal candidate for the job. He has an odd, solipsistic view of reality: he lives alone with his cat, which he has named 'The Lord' even though he is not certain of its existence. He has a very dim view of the past, and he only believes in what he senses with his eyes and ears (and doesn't seem too certain of that, either): anything else is hearsay, so when executive-types visit to ask him what he thinks about certain matters, such as wars and the like, he tells them how he feels without considering consequences. As part of his refusal to accept that anything is true, or simply as another oddity, "He talked to his table for a week to see how it would react." He does sometimes admit that some things may be more likely than others – e.g., that he might like a glass of whisky, which the visitors leave for him. In the radio adaptation of , Ford also meets Zaphod in the accounting department of the new Guide offices. Zaphod describes being bored by a man in a shack and his cat for over a year. Appears in: * * Referenced in: * He was voiced on radio by Stephen Moore (in the original ''Russell
Russell is Fenchurch's burly, blonde-moustached, blow-dried brother. He picks up Arthur Dent in his car after Arthur arrives on Earth at the beginning of . Arthur and Russell take an instant dislike to each other. This is also the first time Arthur meets Fenchurch, his lover and co-flyer to be – albeit she is asleep or in a comatose/ fugue state and only utters one word – "This" – then lapses back into wherever she is. Fenchurch also doesn't like Russell – he calls her "Fenny" which she dislikes intensely. He also tries to simplify her problems so he can explain and understand them better (for example, he tells Arthur that Fenchurch believes herself to be a hedgehog). He first appeared in , and when this was adapted to radio appears in , where he is played by Rupert Degas.Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration Officials
In the story " Young Zaphod Plays it Safe", a young Zaphod visits the wreck of the Starship Billion Year Bunker that has crashed on the planet with the best lobsters in the Western Galaxy. He is accompanied by two Officials from the Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration and an empty spacesuit, as they search for aorist rods and a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Designer Person (babbling gently about a shining city on a hill) who it turns out has escaped to Earth. The Officials declare the planet ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha (Earth) must be made "perfectly safe".Sheila Steafel
Whilst asleep in a cave on prehistoric Earth, Arthur Dent dreams of visiting comedian Sheila Steafel on the radio show ''Steafel Plus'' on 4 August 1982. Arthur, in his dressing gown, talks of missing Mars Bars, various types of tea, Radio 4's ''Shooty and Bang Bang
Shooty and Bang Bang are Blagulon galactic policemen. They pursue Zaphod Beeblebrox to the planet of Magrathea, whereupon they proceed to shoot at him. In the radio and television series this results in a hyperspatial field generator exploding and throwing Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod forwards in time to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In the books, Arthur, Ford and Zaphod are saved from certain death when Marvin talks to the cops' spaceship, which becomes so depressed it commits suicide, disabling the cops' life support units and rendering them unable to breathe as they were described as being "methane breathers." They claim to be well balanced and caring, while gratuitously shooting everything in sight. Shooty writes novels (in crayon), and Bang Bang agonizes for hours to his girlfriend about gratuitously shooting everything in sight. Bang Bang was played on radio bySix Men
In their six starships, the Six Men are the only people who have, as far as anyone is aware, the key to the improbability field that locks away The Ruler of the Universe. This occurs in and .Slartibartfast
Slartibartfast is a Magrathean, and a designer of planets. By the third novel, he has joined the Campaign for Real Time and convinces the main characters to join him to attempting to save the Galaxy from murderous robots.Sperm Whale
AStavro Mueller
Ran Club Alpha in New York, visited by Tricia McMillan in . Stavro opens a second club in called Club Beta, which is where Arthur Dent narrowly escapes death from a blaster shot by his daughter Random Dent and the shot hits Agrajag who proclaims that Arthur keeps killing him in '' Life, the Universe and Everything''. We are told that he was a Greek with a German father and has handed Club Alpha over to his brother Karl Mueller so Stavro can open a new club in London. In Stavro is an only child.Strinder the Tool Maker
As Arthur is regarded as The Sandwichmaker from Bob on the remote iron-age planet of Lamuella, Strinder makes knives to cut the Perfectly Normal Beast for his sarnies. From and .Sulijoo
Another friend of Disaster Area's Hotblack Desiato, who Ford says agreed with him that Disaster Area was going to make Hotblack a star. Appears in .Thor
Thor, a figure fromTribesmen of the Cold Hillsides
These tribesmen fought with (in the epilogue of ) the Princes of the Plains in the land of the Dwellers in the Forest, to the detriment of the latter, for a really good reason, but Prak cannot remember why.Trin Tragula
Trin Tragula was a speculative philosopher who invented the Total Perspective Vortex basically in order to annoy his wife. His wife thought he was an idiot who needed to "have some sense of proportion", exhorting her view frequently. When he attached his wife to the Total Perspective Vortex, the shock of seeing herself in relation to the rest of the universe instantly annihilated her brain. Although he was horrified by this, Trin Tragula found some satisfaction in discovering that the one thing that a person cannot afford to have in a universe this size is a sense of proportion.Varntvar The Priest
He has only four lines in the programme, accompanyingVeet Voojagig
Veet Voojagig is described as "a quiet, young student at the University of Maximegalon", who initially studied ancient philology, transformational ethics and the Wave Harmonic Theory of Historical Perception. Then, after drinking someVroomfondel and Majikthise
:''See Majikthise and Vroomfondel''War Command Krikkiters
Zaphod overheard the two War Command Krikkiters in the Robot War Zones, discussing the lassitude of the Krikkit War Robots, saying ''The war, sir, it seems to be getting them down. They just seem to get a little tired and a little grim ... and then they sulk''. In ().Will Smithers
Owner of a greyThe Wise Old Bird
The Wise Old Bird is the leader of the Bird People of Brontitall. He does not like saying the word "shoe", as he and the bird people consider it unspeakable. The Bird People live in the right ear of a fifteen-mile-high statue of Arthur Dent, constructed by their ancestors. The "wise old bird" is a phrase which features in the nursery rhyme ''Werdle Sneng
Werdle Sneng, in , has a book out, ''Bath Sheets in Space'' which is found adorning contemporary hot beverage tables, as it is far too large for anyone's pocket, fashionable or otherwise.Wonko the Sane
John Watson aka Wonko the Sane lives in coastal California with his wife, Arcane Jill Watson, in a house called ''The Outside of the Asylum'' (which features interior features on its outside and exterior on its inside). When Wonko saw instructions on how to use a toothpick on a packet ofWowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged
In contrast to most other immortals, Bowerick Wowbagger was not born one, but became immortal due to an accident with "an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch, and a pair of rubber bands", an event which no-one has been able to replicate without ending up looking rather silly or dead (or both). Unlike other immortals, whom he calls "a load of serene bastards", he doesn't cope very well with his infinite life, having not been born into it and thus lacking the innate ability to handle it. Finding something to do on Sunday afternoons causes him particular difficulties. Eventually he comes up with a plan to keep himself busy: he will insult every single living being in the universe – in alphabetical order. He appears in , while insulting Arthur Dent with the phrase, "You're a jerk, a complete arsehole" (in the US changed to "...complete kneebiter"). Later, after Arthur escapes prehistoric Earth, Wowbagger shows up again in the present, but when he sees Arthur he says, "I've done you before, haven't I?" After Arthur, his next planned victim is A-Rth-Urp-Hil-Ipdenu, a slug he intends to call "a brainless prat." In , one Arthur Philip Deodat is also a victim of Wowbagger, during the Krikkit Robot attack onYooden Vranx
Yooden Vranx is the late former President of the Galaxy, the direct predecessor to Zaphod Beeblebrox. Just before his death, Yooden came to see Zaphod and presented his idea to steal the ''Heart of Gold''. Following Yooden's suggestion, Zaphod locked out a section in each of his own brains so that no one could figure out why he ran for the presidency. Zaphod and Ford Prefect's first encounter with Yooden occurred when they were children onZaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth
Zaphod Beeblebrox's father's name was Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, and Zaphod's grandfather was called Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third. This was due to an "accident with a contraceptive and a time machine". The great-grandfather of Zaphod Beeblebrox, Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth is one of two active characters in books who are ''dead'' (see also: Hotblack Desiato). When Arthur Dent inadvertently freezes the systems on board ''Heart of Gold'' at the same momentZarniwoop (Vann Harl)
Zarniwoop Vann Harl works in the offices of the ''Guide'', on Ursa Minor Beta. He appears in , , , and . When Zaphod travels to Ursa Minor Beta to meet him, he is informed that Zarniwoop is unavailable, and too cool, to see him right now. He ''is'' in his office, but he's on an intergalacticZarquon
Zarquon is a legendary prophet. He is worshipped by a small group visiting The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and is old, bearded, robed, wreathed in light, has starry eyes and a crown of gold. His name is frequently invoked as a curse, such as "Holy Zarquon's singing fish" and "for Zark's sake". It is only on the visit to Milliways that Zarquon does indeed appear – his overdue second coming – moments before the Universe ends (His last words are "How are we doing for time?"). The host Max claims that he had done the show "over five hundred times" and "nothing like this had ever happened before". He appears in , voiced byZem
Zem is an affable, yet stupid, swamp-dwelling mattress. The pocket-sprung lifeform flollops, willomies and glurries around Sqornshellous Zeta and tries his best to cheer up Marvin the Paranoid Android, who became stranded on the planet after having one arm welded to his side and one leg replaced by a steel pillar. Because of his limited intellect he has the same conversation with Marvin every day until the android leaves. After attempting to make conversation about the weather (Marvin: "The dew has fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning... if I had teeth I would grit them at this point"), Marvin's life story, and the (formerly thriving) economy of Sqornshellous itself, Zem offers that Marvin should be more mattresslike in his outlook. Zem is the sole witness to Marvin'sSee also
* Phrases from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy * The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy cast listsReferences
;Bibliography *External links