''The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything'' is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on

BBC One BBC One is a British free-to-air public broadcast television network owned and operated by the BBC. It is the corporation's flagship network and is known for broadcasting mainstream programming, which includes BBC News television bulletins, p ...

. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969

London Weekend Television London Weekend Television (LWT) (now part of the non-franchised ITV London region) was the ITV network franchise holder for Greater London and the Home Counties at weekends, broadcasting from Fridays at 5.15 pm (7:00 pm from 1968 unt ...

series ''

The Complete and Utter History of Britain ''The Complete and Utter History of Britain'' is a 1969 television comedy sketch show. It was created and written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones between the two series of ''Do Not Adjust Your Set''. It was produced for and broadcast by London ...

''.

Cast

The Ages of Man

A version of the

class sketch The ''Class sketch'' is a comedy sketch first broadcast in an episode of David Frost's satirical comedy programme ''The Frost Report'' on 7 April 1966. It has been described as a "genuinely timeless sketch, ingeniously satirising the British clas ...

which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999. *

Ronnie Barker Ronald William George Barker (25 September 1929 – 3 October 2005) was an English actor, comedian and writer. He was known for roles in British comedy television series such as '' Porridge'', ''The Two Ronnies'', and ''Open All Hours''. ...

–

Renaissance The Renaissance ( , ) , from , with the same meanings. is a period in European history marking the transition from the Middle Ages to modernity and covering the 15th and 16th centuries, characterized by an effort to revive and surpass ideas ...

Man *

Ronnie Corbett Ronald Balfour Corbett (4 December 1930 – 31 March 2016) was a Scottish actor, broadcaster, comedian and writer. He had a long association with Ronnie Barker in the BBC television comedy sketch show ''The Two Ronnies''. He achieved promine ...

–

Medieval In the history of Europe, the Middle Ages or medieval period lasted approximately from the late 5th to the late 15th centuries, similar to the Post-classical, post-classical period of World history (field), global history. It began with t ...

Man *

Stephen Fry Stephen John Fry (born 24 August 1957) is an English actor, broadcaster, comedian, director and writer. He first came to prominence in the 1980s as one half of the comic double act Fry and Laurie, alongside Hugh Laurie, with the two starring ...

–

Modern Modern may refer to: History * Modern history ** Early Modern period ** Late Modern period *** 18th century *** 19th century *** 20th century ** Contemporary history * Moderns, a faction of Freemasonry that existed in the 18th century Phil ...

Man

1066

The

Battle of Hastings The Battle of Hastings nrf, Batâle dé Hastings was fought on 14 October 1066 between the Norman-French army of William the Conqueror, William, the Duke of Normandy, and an English army under the Anglo-Saxons, Anglo-Saxon King Harold Godw ...

staged and described in the style of a modern

football Football is a family of team sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball to score a goal. Unqualified, the word ''football'' normally means the form of football that is the most popular where the word is used. Sports commonly c ...

match, a version of a sketch from ''

''. *

Clive Anderson Clive Stuart Anderson (born 10 December 1952) is an English television and radio presenter, comedy writer, and former barrister. Winner of a British Comedy Award in 1991, Anderson began experimenting with comedy and writing comedic scripts durin ...

–

Archbishop of Canterbury The archbishop of Canterbury is the senior bishop and a principal leader of the Church of England, the ceremonial head of the worldwide Anglican Communion and the diocesan bishop of the Diocese of Canterbury. The current archbishop is Justi ...

Ray Clemence Raymond Neal Clemence, (5 August 1948 – 15 November 2020) was an England international football goalkeeper and part of the Liverpool team of the 1970s. He is one of only 31 players to have made over 1,000 career appearances, and holds the r ...

– Ray Clemence the Younger *

George Cohen George Reginald Cohen (22 October 1939 – 23 December 2022) was an English professional footballer who played as a right-back. He spent his entire professional career with Fulham, and won the 1966 World Cup with England. He was inducted int ...

– Master George Cohen *

James Fleet James Edward Fleet (born 11 March 1952) is an English actor of theatre, radio and screen. He is most famous for his roles as the bumbling and well-meaning Tom in the 1994 British romantic comedy film ''Four Weddings and a Funeral'' and the dim-w ...

–

William of Normandy William I; ang, WillelmI (Bates ''William the Conqueror'' p. 33– 9 September 1087), usually known as William the Conqueror and sometimes William the Bastard, was the first Norman king of England, reigning from 1066 until his death in 108 ...

Archie Gemmill Archibald Gemmill (born 24 March 1947) is a Scottish former footballer. During his career, he won the European Cup and three English league titles, and captained his national side. Gemmill scored the third Scotland goal in a 3–2 win agai ...

– Archie Gemmill, currently in exile *

David Gower David Ivon Gower (born 1 April 1957) is an English cricket commentator and former cricketer who was captain of the England cricket team during the 1980s. Described as one of the most stylish left-handed batsmen of his era, Gower played 117 Te ...

– Lord Gower *

Ricky Grover Ricky may refer to: Places *Říčky (Brno-Country District), a village and municipality in the Czech Republic *Říčky v Orlických horách, a village in the north of the Czech Republic *Rickmansworth, a town in England sometimes called "Ricky" ...

– Aberforth *

Alan Hansen Alan David Hansen (born 13 June 1955) is a Scottish former footballer and BBC television football pundit. He played as a central defender for Partick Thistle, for the successful Liverpool team of the late 1970s and 1980s, and for the Scotland ...

– Lord Alan Hansen *

Geoff Hurst Sir Geoffrey Charles Hurst (born 8 December 1941) is an English former professional footballer. A striker, he became the first man to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final when England recorded a 4–2 victory over West Germany at Wembley St ...

– Sir Geoffrey of Hurst *

Gary Lineker Gary Winston Lineker (; born 30 November 1960) is an English former professional footballer and current sports broadcaster. He is regarded as having been one of the greatest English strikers. His media career began with the BBC, where he has p ...

– Lord Gary Lineker *

Rory McGrath Patrick Rory McGrath (born 17 March 1956) is a British comedian, television personality, and writer. He came to prominence in the comedy show ''Who Dares Wins'' and was a regular panellist on the game show ''They Think It's All Over'' for many ...

– King Harold II *

Peter Osgood Peter Leslie Osgood (20 February 1947 – 1 March 2006) was an English footballer who was active during the 1960s and 1970s. He is best remembered for representing Chelsea and Southampton at club level, and was also capped four times by England ...

– Squire Peter Osgoode *

Martin Peters Martin Stanford Peters (8 November 1943 – 21 December 2019) was an English footballer and manager. As a member of the England team which won the 1966 FIFA World Cup, he scored the second of England's four goals in the final against West Germa ...

– Lord Martin Peters *

Steve Punt Stephen Mark Punt (born 15 September 1962)Mr Stephen Mark Punt
company-director-c ...

– French soldier *

Peter Shilton Peter Leslie Shilton (born 18 September 1949) is an English former professional footballer who played as a goalkeeper. His 30-year career included spells at 11 clubs and he has the distinction of playing over 1,000 league games, including in ...

– Peter of Shilton *

Rupert Vansittart Rupert Nicholas Vansittart (born 10 February 1958) is an English character actor. He has appeared in a variety of roles in film, television, stage and radio, often playing comic characters. He is best known for his role as Lord Ashfordly in the ...

– Bishop of Cardiff

Scott of the Antarctic

A parody of ''Scott of the Antarctic''. *

Amanda Holden Amanda Louise Holden (born 16 February 1971) is an English actress, media personality, and singer. Since 2007, she has been a judge on the television talent show competition ''Britain's Got Talent'' on ITV. She also co-hosts the ''Heart Brea ...

– Geordie's girlfriend *

Bob Mortimer Robert Renwick Mortimer (born 23 May 1959) is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the '' Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing ...

– Geordie *

Vic Reeves James Roderick Moir (born 24 January 1959), better known by his stage name Vic Reeves, is an English comedian, artist, surrealist, musician, actor and television presenter, best known for his double act with Bob Mortimer as Reeves & Mortimer. ...

–

Captain Scott Captain Robert Falcon Scott, , (6 June 1868 – c. 29 March 1912) was a British Royal Navy officer and explorer who led two expeditions to the Antarctic regions: the ''Discovery'' expedition of 1901–1904 and the ill-fated ''Terra Nov ...

The First Spin Doctor

Martin Clunes Alexander Martin Clunes OBE DL (born 28 November 1961) is an English actor, comedian, director and television presenter. He is best known for portraying Martin Ellingham in the ITV comedy-drama series ''Doc Martin'' and Gary Strang in ''Men Be ...

–

King Henry V Henry V (16 September 1386 – 31 August 1422), also called Henry of Monmouth, was King of England and Lord of Ireland from 1413 until his death in 1422. Despite his relatively short reign, Henry's outstanding military successes in the ...

Angus Deayton Gordon Angus Deayton (; born 6 January 1956) is an English actor, writer, musician, comedian, and broadcaster. He was the original presenter of the satirical panel game '' Have I Got News for You,'' the host of British panel show '' Would I Lie ...

–

Lord Mandelson Peter Benjamin Mandelson, Baron Mandelson (born 21 October 1953) is a British Labour Party politician who served as First Secretary of State from 2009 to 2010. He was President of the Board of Trade in 1998 and from 2008 to 2010. He is the ...

Martin Trenaman Martin Trenaman (born 1962) is an English comedy writer and actor, who has contributed to many modern comedy series. He played Simon's father, Alan Cooper, in the sitcom ''The Inbetweeners'' (2008-10). He reprised the role of Mr. Cooper for the ...

Treaty of Westphalia The Peace of Westphalia (german: Westfälischer Friede, ) is the collective name for two peace treaties signed in October 1648 in the Westphalian cities of Osnabrück and Münster. They ended the Thirty Years' War (1618–1648) and brought peac ...

Patrick Barlow Evan George Patrick Barlow (born 18 March 1947) is an English actor, comedian and playwright. His comedic alter ego, ''Desmond Olivier Dingle'', is the founder, artistic director and chief executive of the two-man National Theatre of Brent, whi ...

– Advisor *

Robert Bathurst Robert Guy Bathurst (born 22 February 1957) is an English actor. Bathurst was born in The Gold Coast (now Ghana) in 1957, where his father was working as a management consultant. In 1959 his family moved to Ballybrack, Dublin, Ireland and Bath ...

– English Ambassador *

James Dreyfus James Dreyfus (born 9 October 1968) is an English actor most notable for roles on television sitcoms ''The Thin Blue Line (British TV series), The Thin Blue Line'' as Constable Kevin Goody, and ''Gimme Gimme Gimme (TV series), Gimme Gimme Gimme ...

– Swedish Ambassador *

– Ambassador *

Hugh Laurie James Hugh Calum Laurie (; born 11 June 1959) is an English actor, comedian, writer, and musician. He first gained recognition for his work as one half of the comedy double act Fry and Laurie with Stephen Fry. The two men acted together in a ...

– French Ambassador

Marriage Guidance

Brian Blessed Brian Blessed (; born 9 October 1936) is an English actor, presenter, writer and mountaineer. Blessed is known for portraying PC "Fancy" Smith in ''Z-Cars'', Augustus in the 1976 BBC television production of ''I, Claudius'', King Richard IV i ...

–

King Henry VIII Henry VIII (28 June 149128 January 1547) was King of England from 22 April 1509 until his death in 1547. Henry is best known for his six marriages, and for his efforts to have his first marriage (to Catherine of Aragon) annulled. His disag ...

Jack Dee James Andrew Innes Dee (born 24 September 1961), known professionally as Jack Dee, is an English stand-up comedian, actor, presenter and writer known for his sarcasm, irony and deadpan humour. He wrote and starred in the sitcom ''Lead Balloon'' ...

– Marriage guidance counsellor *

Julia Sawalha Julia Sawalha (born 9 September 1968) is an English actress who played Saffron "Saffy" Monsoon in the BBC sitcom ''Absolutely Fabulous''. She is also known for her portrayal of Lynda Day, editor of the ''Junior Gazette'', in ''Press Gang'', as ...

–

Catherine Parr Catherine Parr (sometimes alternatively spelled Katherine, Katheryn, Kateryn, or Katharine; 1512 – 5 September 1548) was Queen of England and Ireland as the last of the six wives of King Henry VIII from their marriage on 12 July 1543 until ...

The Nice-But-Dim Family

Adam Blackwood Adam Blackwood (1539–1613) was a Scottish author and apologist for Mary, Queen of Scots. Early life He was born in 1539 in Dunfermline, Scotland, to William Blackwood and Helen Reid. The great-nephew of Robert Reid, Bishop of Orkney (1541-1 ...

– Norman *

Richard Briers Richard David Briers (14 January 1934 – 17 February 2013) was an English actor whose five-decade career encompassed film, radio, stage and television. Briers first came to prominence as George Starling in ''Marriage Lines'' (1961–66), but ...

–

Highway robbery A highwayman was a robber who stole from travellers. This type of thief usually travelled and robbed by horse as compared to a footpad who travelled and robbed on foot; mounted highwaymen were widely considered to be socially superior to footp ...

victim *

Tim Brooke-Taylor Timothy Julian Brooke-Taylor Order of the British Empire, OBE (17 July 194012 April 2020) was an English actor and comedian best known as a member of The Goodies. He became active in performing in comedy sketches while at the University of Cam ...

–

Earl of Sandwich Earl of Sandwich is a noble title in the Peerage of England, held since its creation by the House of Montagu. It is nominally associated with Sandwich, Kent. It was created in 1660 for the prominent naval commander Admiral Sir Edward Montagu. ...

Peter Davison Peter Malcolm Gordon Moffett (born 13 April 1951), known professionally as Peter Davison, is an English actor with many credits in television dramas and sitcoms. He made his television acting debut in 1975 and became famous in 1978 as Tristan ...

–

Duke of Wellington Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, (1 May 1769 – 14 September 1852) was an Anglo-Irish soldier and Tory statesman who was one of the leading military and political figures of 19th-century Britain, serving twice as prime minister of ...

Harry Enfield Henry Richard Enfield (born 30 May 1961) is an English comedian, actor, writer and director. He is known in particular for his television work, including ''Harry Enfield's Television Programme'' and '' Harry & Paul'', and for the creation and ...

– Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim *

Jessica Stevenson Tallulah Jessica Elina Hynes ('' née'' Stevenson; born 30 October 1972) is an English actress, director and writer. Known professionally as Jessica Stevenson until 2007, she was one of the creators, writers and stars of the British sitcom ''Spa ...

– Woman with

Black Death The Black Death (also known as the Pestilence, the Great Mortality or the Plague) was a bubonic plague pandemic occurring in Western Eurasia and North Africa from 1346 to 1353. It is the most fatal pandemic recorded in human history, causi ...

Victim *

Natasha Little Natasha Emma Little (born 2 October 1969) is an English actress. She is best known for her roles as Edith Thompson in the film '' Another Life'', Lady Caroline Langbourne in the BBC miniseries ''The Night Manager'', and Christina Moxam in the B ...

– Lady Lionbrain *

Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish actor, comedian, writer, musician, poet, and playwright. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Raj, British Colonial India, where h ...

–

Admiral Lord Nelson Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson, 1st Duke of Bronte (29 September 1758 – 21 October 1805) was a British flag officer in the Royal Navy. His inspirational leadership, grasp of strategy, and unconventional tactics brought abo ...

Nigel Planer Nigel George Planer (born 22 February 1953) is a British actor, comedian, musician, novelist and playwright. He played Neil in the BBC comedy '' The Young Ones'' and Ralph Filthy in ''Filthy Rich & Catflap''. He has appeared in many West End mu ...

–

Lord Cardigan Earl of Cardigan is a title in the Peerage of England, currently held by the Marquess of Ailesbury, Marquesses of Ailesbury, and used as a Courtesy titles in the United Kingdom, courtesy title by the heir apparent to that Marquessate, currentl ...

Steve Punt Stephen Mark Punt (born 15 September 1962)Mr Stephen Mark Punt
company-director-c ...

– Lord

Tampax Tampax (a portmanteau of tampon and pack) is a brand of tampon currently owned by Procter & Gamble. It was based in White Plains, New York, US until its sale to Procter & Gamble in 1997. It is a subsidiary of P&G's Always brand and is sold in ov ...

Barbara Windsor Dame Barbara Windsor (born Barbara Ann Deeks; 6 August 193710 December 2020) was an English actress, known for her roles in the ''Carry On'' films and for playing Peggy Mitchell in the BBC One soap opera, ''EastEnders''.Thora Hird Dame Thora Hird (28 May 1911 – 15 March 2003) was an English actress and comedian, presenter and writer. In a career spanning over 70 years, she appeared in more than 100 film and television roles, becoming a household name and a Briti ...

– Ida *

Victoria Wood Victoria Wood (19 May 1953 – 20 April 2016) was an English comedian, actress, lyricist, singer, composer, pianist, screenwriter, producer and director. Wood wrote and starred in dozens of sketches, plays, musicals, films and sitcoms over se ...

– Moira

Body Zone

Joan Bakewell Joan Dawson Bakewell, Baroness Bakewell, ('' née'' Rowlands; born 16 April 1933), is an English journalist, television presenter and Labour Party peer. Baroness Bakewell is president of Birkbeck, University of London; she is also an auth ...

– Herself *

Dawn French Dawn Roma French (born 11 October 1957) is a British actress, comedian, presenter and writer. French is known for writing and starring on the BBC comedy sketch show ''French and Saunders'' with her best friend and comedy partner, Jennifer Saunde ...

– Egg *

Jennifer Saunders Jennifer Jane Saunders (born 6 July 1958) is an English actress, comedian, singer and screenwriter. Saunders originally found attention in the 1980s, when she became a member of The Comic Strip after graduating from the Royal Central School of ...

– Egg

A Victorian Evening

– Mr Parsons *

Geraldine McNulty Geraldine McNulty is an English stage and television actress. She has played the character of Mrs Raven in '' My Hero'', and had guest appearances in ''Neverwhere'', '' Gimme Gimme Gimme'', ''The Vicar of Dibley'', ''The Smoking Room'' and ''Th ...

– Mrs Richards *

Trevor Peacock Trevor Edward Peacock (19 May 1931 – 8 March 2021) was an English actor, screenwriter and songwriter. He made his name as a theatre actor, later becoming known for his Shakespearean roles. Later in his career, he became best known for playing ...

– Colonel *

Caroline Quentin Caroline Quentin (born Caroline Jones; 11 July 1960) is an English actress, broadcaster and television presenter. Quentin became known for her television appearances: portraying Dorothy in ''Men Behaving Badly'' (1992–1998), Maddie Magellan in ...

– Lady Butterworth

Explorers Explorers Explorers

–

Francis Drake Sir Francis Drake ( – 28 January 1596) was an English explorer, sea captain, privateer, slave trader, naval officer, and politician. Drake is best known for his circumnavigation of the world in a single expedition, from 1577 to 1580 (t ...

–

Ferdinand Magellan Ferdinand Magellan ( or ; pt, Fernão de Magalhães, ; es, link=no, Fernando de Magallanes, ; 4 February 1480 – 27 April 1521) was a Portuguese explorer. He is best known for having planned and led the 1519 Spanish expedition to the East ...

–

Sir Walter Raleigh Sir Walter Raleigh (; – 29 October 1618) was an English statesman, soldier, writer and explorer. One of the most notable figures of the Elizabethan era, he played a leading part in English colonisation of North America, suppressed rebellion ...

Holby Village Hospital

– Dr Barber *

Gary Olsen Gary Olsen (born Gary Kenneth Grant; 3 November 1957 – 12 September 2000) was an English actor. He played Ben in the BBC television sitcom ''2point4 Children''. Biography Olsen was born in London and lived with an aunt and uncle after b ...

– Mr Baker

Early British Comedy

Matthew Ashforde Matthew Ashforde is an English actor known for his appearances in ''EastEnders'', ''Press Gang'', and ''Is It Legal?''. Ashforde played Sonia Fowler's lawyer Adam Childe in ''EastEnders'' in 2007. He also played the character of Darren in ''Is ...

– Reginald *

Helena Bonham Carter Helena Bonham Carter (born 26 May 1966) is an English actress. Known for her roles in blockbusters and independent films, particularly period dramas, she has received various awards and nominations, including a British Academy Film Award a ...

– Lily *

Neil Morrissey Neil Anthony Morrissey (born 4 July 1962) is an English actor. He is known for his role as Tony in ''Men Behaving Badly''. Other notable acting roles include Deputy Head Eddie Lawson in the BBC One school-based drama series '' Waterloo Road'', ...

– Director *

– Marcia Bournemouth * Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

When Columbo discovered America

Gareth Hale Gareth Irvin Hale is an English comedian and actor, who is best known as one half of the comedy duo Hale and Pace, with his friend and comic partner Norman Pace. Biography Hale and his comedy partners were both former teachers, their comedy ...

– Christopher

Columbo ''Columbo'' () is an American crime drama television series starring Peter Falk as Lieutenant Columbo, a homicide detective with the Los Angeles Police Department. After two pilot episodes in 1968 and 1971, the show originally aired on NBC f ...

Norman Pace Norman John Pace (born 17 February 1953 in Dudley, Worcestershire) is an English actor and comedian, best known as one half of the comedy duo Hale and Pace with his friend and comic partner Gareth Hale. Both former teachers, they fronted seve ...

– King Ferdinand

Looking Forwards

Lenny Henry Sir Lenworth George Henry (born 29 August 1958) is a British actor, comedian, singer, television presenter and writer. Henry gained success as a stand-up comedian and impressionist in the late 1970s and early 1980s, culminating in ''The Lenn ...

– Deakus *

Clive Mantle Clive Andrew Mantle (born 3 June 1957) is an English actor. He played general surgeon Mike Barratt in the BBC hospital drama series ''Casualty'' and '' Holby City'' in the 1990s, and Little John in the 1980s fantasy series ''Robin of Sherwood' ...

– Dr Mike Barrat

External links