Turkey Dinner
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"Turkey Dinner" is the sixth episode of the seventh series of the British comedy series ''
Dad's Army ''Dad's Army'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard (United Kingdom), Home Guard during the World War II, Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft (TV producer), David Crof ...
''. It was originally transmitted on Monday, 23 December 1974. Although not a
Christmas special Christmas themes have long been an inspiration to artists and writers. A prominent aspect of Christian media, the topic first appeared Christmas in literature, in literature and Christmas music, in music. Filmmakers have picked up on this wealth o ...
, it was the Christmas episode, and was originally planned for transmission on 6 December 1974.


Synopsis

When the
platoon A platoon is a Military organization, military unit typically composed of two to four squads, Section (military unit), sections, or patrols. Platoon organization varies depending on the country and the Military branch, branch, but a platoon can ...
accidentally shoot and kill a loose
turkey Turkey, officially the Republic of Türkiye, is a country mainly located in Anatolia in West Asia, with a relatively small part called East Thrace in Southeast Europe. It borders the Black Sea to the north; Georgia (country), Georgia, Armen ...
, a turkey dinner is organised.


Plot

Mr. Blewitt has finished painting a wooden plaque on Captain Mainwaring's office door, and Mainwaring has finished writing a speech for an upcoming rotary dinner. Mainwaring tells Sergeant Wilson that before a battle, their commander told them a joke. However, when Mainwaring attempts to cheer up his unusually quiet platoon with a joke about an Englishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman, it does not work, though when Cheeseman asks what happened to the Welshman, Wilson manages to make them laugh by saying "Maybe he didn't like
semolina Semolina is the name given to roughly milled durum wheat mainly used in making pasta and sweet puddings. The term ''semolina'' is also used to designate coarse millings of other varieties of wheat, and sometimes other grains (such as rice or ma ...
". Jones then asks Mainwaring if he and his section can speak to him in private. Once in the office, Jones admits that he took his section for a quick drink in the Horse and Groom. Mainwaring is less than impressed, and is annoyed when he hears that they also stopped in the King's Head to stop Cheeseman shivering, and then the Goat and Compasses. Mainwaring is then amused to learn that Godfrey had begun to sing rather raucously, so he was taken into the Red Lion to sober up. The landlord had come up to Jones and had told him about something rustling in the haystack. Jones shot at the rustler, and was shocked to learn that it was a turkey—which is now plucked and stuffed in his
refrigerator A refrigerator, commonly shortened to fridge, is a commercial and home appliance consisting of a thermal insulation, thermally insulated compartment and a heat pump (mechanical, electronic or chemical) that transfers heat from its inside to ...
! Mainwaring is shocked, and insists that they pay Mr Boggis, a farmer at the North Berrington Turkey Farm, the only place where the turkey could have come from, for the loss of his turkey. However, Mr Boggis is not there, and the men learn from a farm worker that he is at market day; however the farm worker is unwilling to accept money for the bird unless he is certain that one is missing. They attempt to count the birds, and discover after much chaos that no birds are missing. Therefore, Jones' section decides to hold a turkey dinner for the OAPs of Walmington-on-Sea. Mainwaring is delighted and decides to organise a Turkey Dinner General Purposes Committee, with himself as
chairman The chair, also chairman, chairwoman, or chairperson, is the presiding officer of an organized group such as a board, committee, or deliberative assembly. The person holding the office, who is typically elected or appointed by members of the gro ...
, of course. Mrs Fox will cook the turkey, Mrs Pike will make the stuffing, and Mrs Cheeseman will do the gravy. Everything goes well, until Mainwaring emerges from the office in his dinner suit: he is guest speaker at a Rotary Club dinner. Pike walks up to him with a plate in his hand, and accidentally gets gravy on Mainwaring's suit. Wilson uses
blotting paper Blotting paper is a highly absorbent type of paper used to absorb ink or oil from writing material, particularly when quills or fountain pens were popular. It could also be used in testing how much oil is present in products. Blotting paper ...
to get rid of the gravy, but ends up making a mess of Mainwaring's shirt, which Jones covers up with white enamel paint, which ends up on Mainwaring's dinner jacket. A sling is the only answer to the problems, as it will not only hide the paint, but it will also make Mainwaring appear more brave at the dinner. However, Hodges comes bursting through the door, bumping into Pike, and spilling gravy all over his suit once again resulting in Mainwaring giving his trademark
catchphrase A catchphrase (alternatively spelled catch phrase) is a phrase or expression recognized by its repeated utterance. Such phrases often originate in popular culture and in the arts, and typically spread through word of mouth and a variety of mass ...
, " You stupid boy!".


Cast

* Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwaring * John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson * Clive Dunn as Lance Corporal Jones * John Laurie as Private Frazer * Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey *
Ian Lavender Arthur Ian Lavender (16 February 1946 – 2 February 2024) was an English stage, film and television actor. He is best known for his role as Private Pike in ''Dad's Army'', a BBC sitcom set during World War II, of which he was the last survivi ...
as Private Pike *
Bill Pertwee William Desmond Anthony Pertwee (21 July 1926 – 27 May 2013) was an English actor and comedian. He is best remembered for playing Chief ARP Warden Hodges in ''Dad's Army'' and P.C. Wilson in '' You Rang, M'Lord?''. Early life Pertwee was bo ...
as ARP Warden Hodges * Talfryn Thomas as Private Cheeseman * Edward Sinclair as The Verger * Frank Williams as The Vicar * Harold Bennett as Mr Blewett * Pamela Cundell as Mrs Fox * Janet Davies as Mrs Pike * Olive Mercer as Mrs Yeatman *Dave Butler as Farmhand


References

{{Dad's Army Dad's Army series 7 episodes 1974 British television episodes