The Miser's Hoard
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"The Miser's Hoard" is the fourth episode of the ninth and final series of the British comedy series ''
Dad's Army ''Dad's Army'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard (United Kingdom), Home Guard during the World War II, Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft (TV producer), David Crof ...
''. It was originally transmitted on 23 October 1977.http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/dadsarmy/list.html phill.co.uk episode list


Synopsis

When Frazer is revealed to have a secret stash of
gold Gold is a chemical element; it has chemical symbol Au (from Latin ) and atomic number 79. In its pure form, it is a brightness, bright, slightly orange-yellow, dense, soft, malleable, and ductile metal. Chemically, gold is a transition metal ...
sovereign ''Sovereign'' is a title that can be applied to the highest leader in various categories. The word is borrowed from Old French , which is ultimately derived from the Latin">-4; we might wonder whether there's a point at which it's appropriate to ...
s, Mainwaring believes he must hand them over for safe keeping.


Plot

In his workshop, Frazer gleefully counts up his profits for the week as he plans to use most of it to invest in more gold sovereigns, many of which he keeps in a box. Doctor McCeavedy unexpectedly drops in to inform Frazer that one of his patients will soon need Frazer's services (i.e. he has died), and accidentally knocks over the box, revealing Frazer's secret stash. McCeavedy informs Mainwaring of Frazer's
hoard A hoard or "wealth deposit" is an archaeological term for a collection of valuable objects or artifacts, sometimes purposely buried in the ground, in which case it is sometimes also known as a cache. This would usually be with the intention of ...
at the bank the next day, worried that any theft or loss of the gold would have devastating effects on Frazer's health. Mainwaring agrees that Frazer should not keep the sovereigns in his house and resolves to convince the stingy Scotsman to sell them and buy an
annuity In investment, an annuity is a series of payments made at equal intervals based on a contract with a lump sum of money. Insurance companies are common annuity providers and are used by clients for things like retirement or death benefits. Examples ...
at the bank, furiously denouncing Wilson's suggestion that Mainwaring is motivated by the fact that he, as bank manager, would profit from this. Deciding to raise the matter subtly, Mainwaring gives the whole
platoon A platoon is a Military organization, military unit typically composed of two to four squads, Section (military unit), sections, or patrols. Platoon organization varies depending on the country and the Military branch, branch, but a platoon can ...
a lecture about how they should keep their money and valuables in the bank, again insisting that any profit for him is not part of the issue. Unfortunately, Frazer sees through Mainwaring's hints and confronts him in the office, stating that he will not trust anyone, least of all Mainwaring, anywhere near his gold. Word of Frazer's hidden wealth soon spreads and is discussed at length in Warden Hodges' grocer shop by Hodges, the
Vicar A vicar (; Latin: '' vicarius'') is a representative, deputy or substitute; anyone acting "in the person of" or agent for a superior (compare "vicarious" in the sense of "at second hand"). Linguistically, ''vicar'' is cognate with the English p ...
(who wants to persuade Frazer to donate towards restoring the church), and the
Verger A verger (or virger, so called after the staff of the office, or wandsman in British English though archaic) is a person usually a layperson, who assists in the ordering of religious services, particularly in Anglican churches. Etymology ...
. Frazer then misses
parade A parade is a procession of people, usually organized along a street, often in costume, and often accompanied by marching bands, floats, or sometimes large balloons. Parades are held for a wide range of reasons, but are usually some variety ...
, prompting the platoon to go looking for him; as this involves going to several pubs, Wilson ends up severely drunk. After they come back unsuccessful, Frazer defiantly phones Mainwaring, saying he will hide the sovereigns where nobody will ever find them. Inspired by Pike remembering a film about a
miser A miser is a person who is reluctant to spend money, sometimes to the point of forgoing even basic comforts and some necessities, in order to hoard money or other possessions. Although the word is sometimes used loosely to characterise anyone ...
who buried his gold, Mainwaring assigns some of the platoon to stake out Frazer's house, certain he will do it that night. Much later, Frazer is spotted leaving his house by both the platoon and Hodges, who is out on air raid patrol. Followed secretly by the platoon, Frazer buries the box in the local
graveyard A cemetery, burial ground, gravesite, graveyard, or a green space called a memorial park or memorial garden, is a place where the remains of many death, dead people are burial, buried or otherwise entombed. The word ''cemetery'' (from Greek ...
. After he leaves, Mainwaring and the others dig up the box and attempt to break it open, only to be caught by the Vicar, the Verger and Hodges, who also followed Frazer. Mainwaring decides to settle the matter the next day. At the
Home Guard Home guard is a title given to various military organizations at various times, with the implication of an emergency or reserve force raised for local defense. The term "home guard" was first officially used in the American Civil War, starting ...
parade the next day, Mainwaring convinces Frazer to give him the key to the box, lecturing him that the ease with which they found the box proves that Frazer is better off entrusting his sovereigns to the bank, although Mainwaring also reluctantly agrees to let the Vicar take a small
donation A donation is a gift for Charity (practice), charity, humanitarian aid, or to benefit a cause. A donation may take various forms, including money, alms, Service (economics), services, or goods such as clothing, toys, food, or vehicles. A donati ...
. When Mainwaring unlocks the box though, it turns out to contain a brick, revealing that Frazer hid his hoard elsewhere. Frazer mockingly suggests that the Vicar accept the brick as a donation and runs from the room, vowing to the last that no one will ever get his gold.


Cast

*
Arthur Lowe Arthur Lowe (22 September 1915 – 15 April 1982) was an English actor. His acting career spanned 37 years, including starring roles in numerous theatre and television productions. He played Captain Mainwaring in the British sitcom ''Dad ...
as
Captain Mainwaring Captain George Mainwaring () is a fictional Home Guard captain, first portrayed by Arthur Lowe in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. In the 2016 film he is played by Toby Jones and in the 2019 remake of three missing episodes he is pla ...
*
John Le Mesurier John Le Mesurier (, born John Elton Le Mesurier Halliley; 5 April 191215 November 1983) was an English actor. He is probably best remembered for his comedic role as Sergeant Arthur Wilson in the BBC television situation com ...
as
Sergeant Wilson Sergeant Arthur Wilson is a fictional Home Guard platoon sergeant and bank chief clerk, first portrayed by John Le Mesurier in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. Background Wilson was born in 1887, and is carefree, cheerful and well-s ...
*
Clive Dunn Clive Robert Bertram Dunn (born Robert Bertram Dunn; 9 January 19206 November 2012) was an English actor. Although he was only 48 and one of the youngest cast members, he was cast in a role many years his senior, as the elderly Lance Corporal ...
as
Lance Corporal Jones Lance Corporal Jack Jones is a fictional British Home Guard, Home Guard platoon lance corporal and veteran of the British Empire, first portrayed by Clive Dunn in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. His catchphrases are "Don't panic!", "Pe ...
*
John Laurie John Paton Laurie (25 March 1897 – 23 June 1980) was a Scottish stage, film, and television actor. He appeared in scores of feature films with directors including Alfred Hitchcock, David Lean, Michael Powell and Laurence Olivier, generally p ...
as
Private Frazer Private James Frazer is a fictional Home Guard platoon member and undertaker, first portrayed by John Laurie in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He is noted for his catchphrases "We're doomed!" and "Rubbish!" Characterisation It is men ...
*
Arnold Ridley William Arnold Ridley (7 January 1896 – 12 March 1984) was an English playwright and actor, known early in his career for writing the 1925 play '' The Ghost Train'' and later in life for the British television sitcom ''Dad's Army'' (1968–77 ...
as
Private Godfrey Private Charles Godfrey MM is a fictional Home Guard soldier, first portrayed by Arnold Ridley in the British television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He is retired and was previously a tailor for the Civil Service Stores or the Army & Navy Stores. ...
*
Ian Lavender Arthur Ian Lavender (16 February 1946 – 2 February 2024) was an English stage, film and television actor. He is best known for his role as Private Pike in ''Dad's Army'', a BBC sitcom set during World War II, of which he was the last survivi ...
as
Private Pike Private Frank Pike is a fictional Home Guard private and junior bank clerk, first portrayed by actor Ian Lavender in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He was appointed as the platoon's information officer by Captain Mainwaring in " The ...
* Janet Davies as Mrs Pike *
Fulton Mackay William Fulton Beith Mackay (12 August 1922 – 6 June 1987) was a Scottish actor and playwright, best known for his role as prison officer Mr Mackay in the 1970s television sitcom ''Porridge''. Early life Mackay was born in Paisley, Renfrew ...
as Doctor McCeavedy *
Bill Pertwee William Desmond Anthony Pertwee (21 July 1926 – 27 May 2013) was an English actor and comedian. He is best remembered for playing Chief ARP Warden Hodges in ''Dad's Army'' and P.C. Wilson in '' You Rang, M'Lord?''. Early life Pertwee was bo ...
as ARP Warden Hodges * Frank Williams as The Vicar *
Edward Sinclair Edward Sinclair may refer to: * Edward Sinclair (cricketer) (1889–1966), English cricketer and Royal Navy officer *Edward Sinclair (actor) (1914–1977), English actor *Edward Sinclair (swimmer) Edward Sinclair (born 1980) is Double Olympian ...
as The Verger *
Colin Bean Colin Bean (15 April 1926 – 20 June 2009) was an English actor. He was best known for his role as Private Sponge in the BBC comedy series ''Dad's Army''. Early life Born in Wigan, Lancashire, Bean's father played football for local side Wiga ...
as
Private Sponge ''Dad's Army'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard (United Kingdom), Home Guard during the World War II, Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft (TV producer), David Crof ...


References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Misers Hoard, The Dad's Army series 9 episodes 1977 British television episodes