The Headmaster Ritual
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"The Headmaster Ritual" is a song by the English rock band
the Smiths The Smiths were an English Rock music, rock band formed in Manchester in 1982, composed of Morrissey (vocals), Johnny Marr (guitar), Andy Rourke (bass) and Mike Joyce (musician), Mike Joyce (drums). Morrissey and Marr formed the band's songwrit ...
that appeared as the first song on their second studio album, '' Meat Is Murder'' (1985). It was released as a single in the Netherlands. The music was written by
Johnny Marr John Martin Marr (Birth name#Maiden and married names, né Maher; born 31 October 1963) is a musician, songwriter and singer. He first achieved fame as the guitarist and co-songwriter of the Smiths, who were active from 1982 to 1987. He has sinc ...
and the lyrics by
Morrissey Steven Patrick Morrissey ( ; born 22 May 1959), known :wikt:mononym, mononymously as Morrissey, is an English singer and songwriter. He came to prominence as the frontman and lyricist of rock band the Smiths, who were active from 1982 to 198 ...
. Written as a critique of British education and
corporal punishment A corporal punishment or a physical punishment is a punishment which is intended to cause physical pain to a person. When it is inflicted on Minor (law), minors, especially in home and school settings, its methods may include spanking or Padd ...
, "The Headmaster Ritual" features a jangling guitar line with inspirations as diverse as
the Beatles The Beatles were an English Rock music, rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960. The core lineup of the band comprised John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. They are widely regarded as the Cultural impact of the Beatle ...
,
Joni Mitchell Roberta Joan Mitchell (née Anderson; born November 7, 1943) is a Canadian and American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and painter. As one of the most influential singer-songwriters to emerge from the 1960s folk music circuit, Mitch ...
, and
MC5 MC5 was an American rock music, rock band formed in Lincoln Park, Michigan, in 1963. The classic lineup consisted of vocalist Rob Tyner, guitarists Wayne Kramer and Fred "Sonic" Smith, bassist Michael Davis (bassist), Michael Davis, and drummer ...
. The song attracted attention and controversy in the UK for its lyrics. The song has drawn critical acclaim for Morrissey's vocals and lyricism as well as for Marr's guitar.


Background

"The Headmaster Ritual" was written as a criticism of the English education system, citing the ''belligerent ghouls'' who ran
Manchester Manchester () is a city and the metropolitan borough of Greater Manchester, England. It had an estimated population of in . Greater Manchester is the third-most populous metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, with a population of 2.92&nbs ...
schools. The song was the only one in which Marr made a suggestion to Morrissey on the lyrics, specifically to change the line ''bruises bigger than dinner plates'' to ''bruises big as dinner plates''. As Marr recounted, "An eyebrow was very definitely raised at this point, and he went away to mull it over. When we reconvened 24 hours later, he said he'd given it a lot of thought and was impressed by my observation. Then, of course, he went on to do sod-all about it!" Marr wrote the track while in open E tuning, recalling, "I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote it, and I quite like that. I think it's a handy device for cutting out the brain static that gets in the way of coming up with chord changes." Musically, the song opens with an open-tuned chord that Marr has described it as what
Joni Mitchell Roberta Joan Mitchell (née Anderson; born November 7, 1943) is a Canadian and American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and painter. As one of the most influential singer-songwriters to emerge from the 1960s folk music circuit, Mitch ...
"would have done had she been an
MC5 MC5 was an American rock music, rock band formed in Lincoln Park, Michigan, in 1963. The classic lineup consisted of vocalist Rob Tyner, guitarists Wayne Kramer and Fred "Sonic" Smith, bassist Michael Davis (bassist), Michael Davis, and drummer ...
fan." Most of the song's guitar parts, according to Marr, were played on a
Rickenbacker Rickenbacker International Corporation is a string instrument manufacturer based in Santa Ana, California. Rickenbacker is the first known maker of electric guitars, with a steel guitar in 1932, and produces a range of electric guitars and bass ...
: The Headmaster Ritual' main riff is two tracks of Rickenbacker. I wasn't specifically thinking of
the Beatles The Beatles were an English Rock music, rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960. The core lineup of the band comprised John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. They are widely regarded as the Cultural impact of the Beatle ...
' '
Day Tripper "Day Tripper" is a song by the English rock band the Beatles that was released as a double A-side single with "We Can Work It Out" in December 1965. The song was written primarily by John Lennon with some contributions from Paul McCartney and ...
' (even though it sounds like it) but I did think of it as a
George Harrison George Harrison (25 February 1943 – 29 November 2001) was an English musician, singer and songwriter who achieved international fame as the lead guitarist of the Beatles. Sometimes called "the quiet Beatle", Harrison embraced Culture ...
part." Marr noted that the song took "about three years" to write, the longest it took him to write any song. Morrissey has described the song as "a live-wire spitfire guitar sound that takes on all-comers." He would sing the song in some of his solo tours, the song appears on his live setlist for the
DVD The DVD (common abbreviation for digital video disc or digital versatile disc) is a digital optical disc data storage format. It was invented and developed in 1995 and first released on November 1, 1996, in Japan. The medium can store any ki ...
concert release, '' Who Put the M in Manchester?'' (2005).


Release

In addition to its release as the opening song on '' Meat Is Murder'', "The Headmaster Ritual" was released as a single in the Netherlands. The cover art for the single, chosen by Morrissey, features a black-and-white image of a child dressed as a
cowboy A cowboy is an animal herder who tends cattle on ranches in North America, traditionally on horseback, and often performs a multitude of other ranch-related tasks. The historic American cowboy of the late 19th century arose from the ''vaquero'' ...
from the 1965 film '' The Uncle''. The song also appeared as a B-side on the American single release of "
How Soon Is Now? "How Soon Is Now?" is a song by English rock band the Smiths, written by singer Morrissey and guitarist Johnny Marr. Originally a B-side of the 1984 single " William, It Was Really Nothing", "How Soon Is Now?" was subsequently featured on the ...
" The song's lyrics attracted controversy upon release, with the incumbent headmaster of Morrissey's alma mater interviewing with UK tabloids. The
Manchester Manchester () is a city and the metropolitan borough of Greater Manchester, England. It had an estimated population of in . Greater Manchester is the third-most populous metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, with a population of 2.92&nbs ...
Education Authority threatened to ban the Smiths from playing in Manchester due to their objection to the song's lyrics.


Critical reception

''
Pitchfork A pitchfork or hay fork is an agricultural tool used to pitch loose material, such as hay, straw, manure, or leaves. It has a long handle and usually two to five thin tines designed to efficiently move such materials. The term is also applie ...
'' spoke glowingly of the song, writing "When 'Meat Is Murder''good, it's great: 'The Headmaster Ritual', especially, is full of chills-down-the-spine moments from Morrissey (the wordless, yodeling chorus that rhymes with ''I want to go home/ I don't want to stay,'' the second verse's thrilling deviations from the first)" and commenting, "It's safe to say that nobody else, before or since, has opened a significant rock album by hammering the bejesus out of the capoed, open-tuned chord that begins 'The Headmaster Ritual'." '' Consequence'' ranked the song as the 24th best Smiths song, writing, "There's something almost spectral about the open-tuned chord Marr hammers in the song's intro. It's echoed in the tremolo effect Morrissey's vocals achieve in the chorus, which sounds halfway between a yodel and a cry for help." ''Guitar'' named the song as the band's 11th-greatest guitar moment, stating, "An in-your-face, staccato acoustic guitar assault triggers the beginning of ''Meat Is Murder'', before dissolving away into one of Marr's slinkiest riffs, effortlessly evoking those formative days on the school playing fields". ''
Rolling Stone ''Rolling Stone'' is an American monthly magazine that focuses on music, politics, and popular culture. It was founded in San Francisco, California, in 1967 by Jann Wenner and the music critic Ralph J. Gleason. The magazine was first known fo ...
'' named the song as the 39th-best Smiths song. Singer and Smiths collaborator
Kirsty MacColl Kirsty Anna MacColl (, ; 10 October 1959 – 18 December 2000) was a British singer and songwriter. The daughter of folk singer Ewan MacColl, she recorded several pop hits in the 1980s and 1990s, including "There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop ...
praised the song in a 1992 interview, stating, The Headmaster Ritual' is just so good. The lyrics are fantastic. ... In this song, the delivery is great, and the playing is fantastic, but the lyrics are something else. I think it's probably one of the best songs about being at school that I've ever heard."
Colin Meloy Colin Patrick Henry Meloy (born October 5, 1974) is an American musician, singer-songwriter and author best known as the frontman of the Portland, Oregon, indie folk rock band the Decemberists. In addition to vocals, he performs with an acousti ...
of
the Decemberists The Decemberists are an American indie rock band from Portland, Oregon, formed in 2000. The band consists of Colin Meloy (lead vocals, guitar), Chris Funk (guitar, multi-instrumentalist), Jenny Conlee (piano, keyboards, accordion, backing vocals ...
said of the song, "The brute in 'The Headmaster Ritual' was o memy mustached, short-shorted gym teacher Mr. Trenary."


Cover versions

It was covered by
Radiohead Radiohead are an English rock band formed in Abingdon-on-Thames, Abingdon, Oxfordshire, in 1985. The band members are Thom Yorke (vocals, guitar, piano, keyboards); brothers Jonny Greenwood (guitar, keyboards, other instruments) and Colin Gre ...
for a 2007
webcast A webcast is a media presentation distributed over the Internet using streaming media technology to distribute a single content source to many simultaneous listeners/viewers. A webcast may either be distributed live or on demand. Essentially, webca ...
. After watching the cover, Marr joked, "I have shown
Ed O'Brien Edward John O'Brien (born 15 April 1968) is an English guitarist, songwriter, and member of the rock band Radiohead. He releases solo music under the name EOB. O'Brien attended Abingdon School in Oxfordshire, England, where he formed Radiohead ...
the chords, but maybe he was looking out of the window!"


Track listing


References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Headmaster Ritual, The The Smiths songs 1985 songs 1985 singles Songs written by Johnny Marr Songs written by Morrissey Rough Trade Records singles Songs about child abuse Songs about educators