The Bedroom Secrets Of The Master Chefs
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''The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs'' is the sixth novel by Scottish writer
Irvine Welsh Irvine Welsh (born 27 September 1958) is a Scottish novelist and short story writer. His 1993 novel ''Trainspotting (novel), Trainspotting'' was made into a Trainspotting (film), film of the same name. He has also written plays and screenplays, ...
. It has been compared with
Oscar Wilde Oscar Fingal O'Fflahertie Wills Wilde (16 October 185430 November 1900) was an Irish author, poet, and playwright. After writing in different literary styles throughout the 1880s, he became one of the most popular and influential playwright ...
's ''
The Picture of Dorian Gray ''The Picture of Dorian Gray'' is an 1890 philosophical fiction and Gothic fiction, Gothic horror fiction, horror novel by Irish writer Oscar Wilde. A shorter novella-length version was published in the July 1890 issue of the American period ...
'' and
Robert Louis Stevenson Robert Louis Stevenson (born Robert Lewis Balfour Stevenson; 13 November 1850 – 3 December 1894) was a Scottish novelist, essayist, poet and travel writer. He is best known for works such as ''Treasure Island'', ''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll ...
's '' The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde''.


Plot summary

Danny Skinner and Brian Kibby both work for
Edinburgh Edinburgh is the capital city of Scotland and one of its 32 Council areas of Scotland, council areas. The city is located in southeast Scotland and is bounded to the north by the Firth of Forth and to the south by the Pentland Hills. Edinburgh ...
's restaurant-inspection team as
environmental health Environmental health is the branch of public health concerned with all aspects of the natural environment, natural and built environment affecting human health. To effectively control factors that may affect health, the requirements for a hea ...
officers. Skinner is a hard-drinking man, who is involved in
football hooliganism Football hooliganism, also known as soccer hooliganism, football rioting or soccer rioting, constitutes violence and other destructive behaviors perpetrated by spectators at association football events. Football hooliganism typically involves ...
and supports local team Hibernian F.C. He is reading a book by
Edinburgh Edinburgh is the capital city of Scotland and one of its 32 Council areas of Scotland, council areas. The city is located in southeast Scotland and is bounded to the north by the Firth of Forth and to the south by the Pentland Hills. Edinburgh ...
chef Alan de Fretais called ''The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs''. He conceives a strong dislike for Kibby and bullies and undermines him mercilessly at work. He relaxes by reading Hugh MacDiarmid, Rimbaud,
Verlaine Verlaine (; ) is a municipality of Wallonia located in the province of Liège, Belgium. On January 1, 2006, Verlaine had a total population of 3,507. The total area is 24.21 km2 which gives a population density Population density (in ag ...
and
Schopenhauer Arthur Schopenhauer ( ; ; 22 February 1788 – 21 September 1860) was a German philosopher. He is known for his 1818 work '' The World as Will and Representation'' (expanded in 1844), which characterizes the phenomenal world as the manife ...
, and watching
Federico Fellini Federico Fellini (; 20 January 1920 – 31 October 1993) was an Italian film director and screenwriter. He is known for his distinctive style, which blends fantasy and baroque images with earthiness. He is recognized as one of the greatest and ...
films. Kibby is shy and inward-looking, and drinks
Horlicks Horlicks is a British sweet malted milk hot Malt drink, drink powder developed by founders Sir James Horlick, 1st Baronet, James and William Horlick. It was first sold as "Horlick's Infant and Invalids Food", soon adding "aged and travellers" ...
, collects model trains, and obsessively plays a computer game called '' Harvest Moon''. Kibby's social life revolves around a
hillwalking Walking is one of the most popular outdoor recreational activities in the United Kingdom, and within England and Wales there is a comprehensive network of rights of way that permits access to the countryside. Furthermore, access to much uncultiva ...
group called the Hyp Hykers and attendance at ''
Star Trek ''Star Trek'' is an American science fiction media franchise created by Gene Roddenberry, which began with the Star Trek: The Original Series, series of the same name and became a worldwide Popular culture, pop-culture Cultural influence of ...
'' conventions. The plot describes Skinner's relationship with
alcohol Alcohol may refer to: Common uses * Alcohol (chemistry), a class of compounds * Ethanol, one of several alcohols, commonly known as alcohol in everyday life ** Alcohol (drug), intoxicant found in alcoholic beverages ** Alcoholic beverage, an alco ...
and his search for his unknown father. His
alcoholism Alcoholism is the continued drinking of alcohol despite it causing problems. Some definitions require evidence of dependence and withdrawal. Problematic use of alcohol has been mentioned in the earliest historical records. The World He ...
causes him to lose his girlfriend Kay. Gradually it dawns on him that the damage that ought to accrue to his body from his lifestyle is instead inflicted on Kibby. For a while he enjoys this, particularly relishing his promotion at work, but when Kibby becomes mortally ill he realises that he needs him. When Kibby comes out of hospital after a
liver transplant Liver transplantation or hepatic transplantation is the replacement of a Liver disease, diseased liver with the healthy liver from another person (allograft). Liver transplantation is a treatment option for Cirrhosis, end-stage liver disease and ...
(caused vicariously by Skinner's heavy drinking), they both realise that their dependency is mutual. Kibby (who has retired on health grounds) puts on weight and becomes a heavy drinker in his own right. Skinner resigns and goes to
San Francisco San Francisco, officially the City and County of San Francisco, is a commercial, Financial District, San Francisco, financial, and Culture of San Francisco, cultural center of Northern California. With a population of 827,526 residents as of ...
in search of someone who might be his father. He is disappointed in this as it turns out the man was exclusively
homosexual Homosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior between people of the same sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions" exc ...
during the period in question, but does find love at an
Alcoholics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a global, peer-led Mutual aid, mutual-aid fellowship focused on an abstinence-based recovery model from alcoholism through its spiritually inclined twelve-step program. AA's Twelve Traditions, besides emphasizing anon ...
meeting, in the shape of American Dorothy Cominsky. Skinner returns to
Leith Leith (; ) is a port area in the north of Edinburgh, Scotland, founded at the mouth of the Water of Leith and is home to the Port of Leith. The earliest surviving historical references are in the royal charter authorising the construction of ...
where he continues the search for his father and starts a relationship with Kibby's sister. When he discovers de Fretais having sex with Kay, he tries to kill them both, succeeding in killing the chef and gravely injuring his ex-girlfriend. By the end of the story Kibby is strongly alluded to be Skinner's half brother, with Brian's father, Keith Kibby being the man for whom Skinner had been searching. Skinner knows this with reasonable certainty, as he dies at Brian's hand.


Themes

The book marks a departure for Welsh in that, although ecstasy,
cannabis ''Cannabis'' () is a genus of flowering plants in the family Cannabaceae that is widely accepted as being indigenous to and originating from the continent of Asia. However, the number of species is disputed, with as many as three species be ...
and
cocaine Cocaine is a tropane alkaloid and central nervous system stimulant, derived primarily from the leaves of two South American coca plants, ''Erythroxylum coca'' and ''Erythroxylum novogranatense, E. novogranatense'', which are cultivated a ...
are mentioned in passing, there is little reference to the dance club scene of most of his other work. On the contrary, it is alcohol abuse which punctuates the novel, along with the themes of personal identity (touched upon in '' Marabou Stork Nightmares'') and romantic love (''The Undefeated'', from '' Ecstasy''). The story is told against the backdrop of the 2004 U.S. elections and the
war in Iraq This is a list of wars involving the Republic of Iraq and its predecessor states. , style="background:#F88" , Coalition of Gulf War, Coalition victory * Kuwait, State of Kuwait resumes self-governance over all Kuwaiti sovereign territory * Esta ...
. Skinner's mother is a former
punk Punk or punks may refer to: Genres, subculture, and related aspects * Punk rock, a music genre originating in the 1970s associated with various subgenres * Punk subculture, a subculture associated with punk rock, or aspects of the subculture s ...
fan, and although the question of her son's paternity is as good as answered by the end of the book, a possibility remains that
Joe Strummer John Graham Mellor (21 August 1952 – 22 December 2002), known professionally as Joe Strummer, was a British musician. He was the co-founder, lyricist, rhythm guitarist, and lead vocalist of punk rock band the Clash, formed in 1976. The Clash' ...
, the late Clash singer, could also have been a candidate.


External links


Guardian reviewInternational Herald Tribune review
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Time Out New York review
{{DEFAULTSORT:Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs 2006 British novels Novels by Irvine Welsh Novels set in Edinburgh Jonathan Cape books