''Stan Helsing'' (released in some countries as ''Scary Movie 5'', ''Mega Monster Movie'' or ''Horror Movie'') is a 2009 Canadian-American
horror comedy film
Comedy horror, also known as horror comedy, is a literary, television, and film genre that combines elements of comedy and horror fiction. Comedy horror has been described as able to be categorized under three types: "black comedy, parody and spo ...
written and directed by Bo Zenga. It stars
Steve Howey,
,
Kenan Thompson
Kenan Thompson (; born May 10, 1978) is an American actor and comedian. He has been a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy series ''Saturday Night Live'' since 2003, making him the longest-tenured cast member in the show's history. He was also th ...
,
Desi Lydic
Lani Desmonet Lydic ( ; born June 30, 1981) is an American comedian and actress who is a correspondent on '' The Daily Show'' with Trevor Noah. From 2011 to 2016, she starred as guidance counselor Valerie Marks on the MTV comedy-drama series ''Aw ...
and
Leslie Nielsen
Leslie William Nielsen (11 February 192628 November 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters.
Nielsen was bo ...
. Released on October 23, 2009 by
Anchor Bay Entertainment
Anchor Bay Entertainment (formerly Video Treasures and Starmaker Entertainment) was an American home entertainment and production company. It was a subsidiary of Starz Inc. Anchor Bay Entertainment marketed and sold feature films, television se ...
, the film is similar to the
''Scary Movie'' film series and is a
parody
A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its su ...
of
horror film
Horror is a film genre that seeks to elicit fear or disgust in its audience for entertainment purposes.
Horror films often explore dark subject matter and may deal with transgressive topics or themes. Broad elements include monsters, apo ...
s.
Plot
Stan Helsing (
Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal mottos are "don't get involved" and "don't talk about it". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of films to the mother of the store's owner or risk being fired. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and convinces his friend Teddy (
Kenan Thompson
Kenan Thompson (; born May 10, 1978) is an American actor and comedian. He has been a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy series ''Saturday Night Live'' since 2003, making him the longest-tenured cast member in the show's history. He was also th ...
), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (
), and ditzy blonde massage therapist Mia (
Desi Lydic
Lani Desmonet Lydic ( ; born June 30, 1981) is an American comedian and actress who is a correspondent on '' The Daily Show'' with Trevor Noah. From 2011 to 2016, she starred as guidance counselor Valerie Marks on the MTV comedy-drama series ''Aw ...
) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it is on the other side of town.
En route, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots a living doll (a parody of
Chucky, played by Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a
MILF
MILF (, as if read as "milf") is an acronym that stands for "Mother I'd Like to Fuck". This abbreviation is used in colloquial English, instead of the whole phrase. It connotes an older woman considered sexually attractive, typically one who has ...
next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut. While trying to find their way, they hit a dog named "Sammy Boy" and ask a passerby for help, unaware that he is the dog's owner. The owner then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary
Abraham Van Helsing
Professor Abraham Van Helsing, a fictional character from the 1897 gothic horror novel ''Dracula'', is an aged Dutch polymath doctor with a wide range of interests and accomplishments, partly attested by the Post-nominal letters, string of let ...
, the monster hunter. They depart and find Stormy Night Estates, only to discover that the attendants never put gas into the car. They find a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of
karaoke
Karaoke (; ; , clipped compound of Japanese ''kara'' "empty" and ''ōkesutora'' "orchestra") is a type of interactive entertainment usually offered in clubs and bars, where people sing along to recorded music using a microphone. The music i ...
while singing
Johnny Cash
John R. Cash (born J. R. Cash; February 26, 1932 – September 12, 2003) was an American Country music, country singer-songwriter. Much of Cash's music contained themes of sorrow, moral tribulation, and redemption, especially in the later s ...
's song "
Ring of Fire
The Ring of Fire (also known as the Pacific Ring of Fire, the Rim of Fire, the Girdle of Fire or the Circum-Pacific belt) is a region around much of the rim of the Pacific Ocean where many volcanic eruptions and earthquakes occur. The Ring ...
".
After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (
Leslie Nielsen
Leslie William Nielsen (11 February 192628 November 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters.
Nielsen was bo ...
), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters, including the living doll they encountered earlier and parodies of
Pinhead,
Jason Voorhees
Jason Voorhees () is a character from the ''Friday the 13th'' series. He first appeared in ''Friday the 13th'' (1980) as the young son of camp-cook-turned-killer Mrs. Voorhees, in which he was portrayed by Ari Lehman. Created by Victor Mill ...
,
Freddy Krueger
Freddy Krueger () is a fictional character and the primary antagonist in the ''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' film series. He was created by Wes Craven and made his debut in Craven's '' A Nightmare on Elm Street'' (1984) as the malevolent spiri ...
,
Leatherface
Leatherface is a fictional character in ''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' film series created by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper. He first appears in ''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' as a disfigured, cannibalistic and mentally unstable mass murderer ...
, and
Michael Myers. They stumble into a
church
Church may refer to:
Religion
* Church (building), a building for Christian religious activities
* Church (congregation), a local congregation of a Christian denomination
* Church service, a formalized period of Christian communal worship
* Ch ...
and encounter an
altar boy
An altar server is a laity, lay assistant to a member of the clergy during a Christian liturgy. An altar server attends to supporting tasks at the altar such as fetching and carrying, ringing the altar bell, helps bring up the gifts, brings up t ...
who informs Stan of his destiny, confirms that he is Van Helsing's descendant, and kicks them out of his church after giving them weapons to fight the monsters.
The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in karaoke. The monsters sing "
Y.M.C.A.
YMCA, sometimes regionally called the Y, is a worldwide youth organization based in Geneva, Switzerland, with more than 64 million beneficiaries in 120 countries. It was founded on 6 June 1844 by George Williams in London, originally ...
", with lyrics describing their desire to kill Stan, and the humans respond with "I Don't Wanna Go Home" by
Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes
Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes are an American musical group from the Jersey Shore led by Southside Johnny. They have been recording albums since 1976 and are closely associated with Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. They have recor ...
, modified to express their desire to simply leave. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Eschewing his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy, who had been brought back to vicious life (''a la'' ''
Pet Sematary
''Pet Sematary'' is a 1983 horror novel by American writer Stephen King. The novel was nominated for a World Fantasy Award for Best Novel in 1984, and adapted into two films: one in 1989 and another in 2019. In November 2013, PS Publishing ...
''). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine realizes how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggests kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a
lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.
Cast
*
Steve Howey as Stan Helsing
*
as Nadine
*
Kenan Thompson
Kenan Thompson (; born May 10, 1978) is an American actor and comedian. He has been a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy series ''Saturday Night Live'' since 2003, making him the longest-tenured cast member in the show's history. He was also th ...
as Teddy
*
Desi Lydic
Lani Desmonet Lydic ( ; born June 30, 1981) is an American comedian and actress who is a correspondent on '' The Daily Show'' with Trevor Noah. From 2011 to 2016, she starred as guidance counselor Valerie Marks on the MTV comedy-drama series ''Aw ...
as Mia
*
Leslie Nielsen
Leslie William Nielsen (11 February 192628 November 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters.
Nielsen was bo ...
as Kay
* Travis MacDonald as Hitcher
* Chad Krowchuk as Sully
*
Darren Moore
Darren Mark Moore (born 22 April 1974) is a professional football manager and former player who played as a centre-back. He is the current manager of Sheffield Wednesday.
Born in England, he earned two international caps for Jamaica. Moore is ...
as Crazy
* Jeremy Crittenden as Altar Boy
* Jeff Gulka as Lucky (spoof of
Chucky from ''
Child's Play'')
*
Ken Kirzinger
Kenneth Kirzinger (born November 4, 1959) is a Canadian actor and stuntman best known for his portrayals of Jason Voorhees in '' Freddy vs. Jason'' (2003), Pa in '' Wrong Turn 2: Dead End'' (2007) and Rusty Nail in '' Joy Ride 3: Roadkill'' (2014 ...
as Mason (spoof of
Jason Voorhees
Jason Voorhees () is a character from the ''Friday the 13th'' series. He first appeared in ''Friday the 13th'' (1980) as the young son of camp-cook-turned-killer Mrs. Voorhees, in which he was portrayed by Ari Lehman. Created by Victor Mill ...
from ''
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th is considered an unlucky day in Western superstition. It occurs when the 13th day of the month in the Gregorian calendar falls on a Friday, which happens at least once every year but can occur up to three times in the same year. ...
'')
*
Ben Cotton
Ben Cotton (born July 26, 1975) is a Canadian film and television actor. His most notable roles are on the TV series ''Stargate Atlantis'' playing scientist Dr. Kavanagh, his portrayal of "Leon Bell" in the game Dead Rising 2, Shane Pierce, the ...
as Fweddy (spoof of
Freddy Krueger
Freddy Krueger () is a fictional character and the primary antagonist in the ''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' film series. He was created by Wes Craven and made his debut in Craven's '' A Nightmare on Elm Street'' (1984) as the malevolent spiri ...
from ''
A Nightmare on Elm Street
''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' is a 1984 American Supernatural horror film, supernatural slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven and produced by Robert Shaye. It is the first installment in the A Nightmare on Elm Street (franchise), ''A ...
'')
* Lee Tichon as Michael Cryers (spoof of
Michael Myers from ''
Halloween
Halloween or Hallowe'en (less commonly known as Allhalloween, All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve) is a celebration geography of Halloween, observed in many countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Saints' Day. ...
'')
* Twan Holliday as Pleatherface (spoof of
Leatherface
Leatherface is a fictional character in ''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' film series created by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper. He first appears in ''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' as a disfigured, cannibalistic and mentally unstable mass murderer ...
from ''
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' is a 1974 American horror film produced and directed by Tobe Hooper from a story and screenplay by Hooper and Kim Henkel. It stars Marilyn Burns, Paul A. Partain, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow and Gunnar Hanse ...
'')
* Charles Zuckermann as Needlehead (spoof of
Pinhead from ''
Hellraiser
''Hellraiser'' is a 1987 British supernatural horror film written and directed by Clive Barker, and produced by Christopher Figg, based on Barker's 1986 novella ''The Hellbound Heart''. The film marked Barker's directorial debut. Its plot invol ...
'')
* Hilary Strang as Hippie Lady
* Ray G. Thunderchild as Husband
*
John DeSantis
John DeSantis, sometimes credited as John De Santis or John Desantis, (born November 13, 1973) is a Canadian actor, best known as Lurch on Fox Family's television of '' The New Addams Family''. His other work includes a principal role in Disne ...
as
Frankenstein's Monster
Frankenstein's monster or Frankenstein's creature, often referred to as simply "Frankenstein", is a fictional character who first appeared in Mary Shelley's 1818 novel '' Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus''. Shelley's title thus compare ...
*
Ryan Steele as the
Wolfman
* Jeremiah Sird as Idiot Indian
Parodies
*
''Jaws'' (1975)
*
''Van Helsing'' (2004)
* ''
A Nightmare on Elm Street
''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' is a 1984 American Supernatural horror film, supernatural slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven and produced by Robert Shaye. It is the first installment in the A Nightmare on Elm Street (franchise), ''A ...
'' (1984)
* ''
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' is a 1974 American horror film produced and directed by Tobe Hooper from a story and screenplay by Hooper and Kim Henkel. It stars Marilyn Burns, Paul A. Partain, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow and Gunnar Hansen, wh ...
'' (1974)
*
''Child's Play'' (1988)
*''
Hellraiser
''Hellraiser'' is a 1987 British supernatural horror film written and directed by Clive Barker, and produced by Christopher Figg, based on Barker's 1986 novella ''The Hellbound Heart''. The film marked Barker's directorial debut. Its plot invol ...
'' (1987)
*
''Friday the 13th'' (1980)
*
''Halloween'' (1978)
* ''
The Blair Witch Project
''The Blair Witch Project'' is a 1999 American supernatural horror film written, directed and edited by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez. It is a fictional story of three student filmmakers—Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Josh ...
'' (1999)
*
''Pet Sematary'' (1989)
*
''The Ring'' (2002)
* ''
Jeepers Creepers'' (2001)
Music
Soundtrack
Although no soundtrack album was released the film includes songs by
Pluto
Pluto (minor-planet designation: 134340 Pluto) is a dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt, a ring of bodies beyond the orbit of Neptune. It is the ninth-largest and tenth-most-massive known object to directly orbit the Sun. It is the largest k ...
, The Saturday Knights, Davernoise and covers of songs by
Johnny Cash
John R. Cash (born J. R. Cash; February 26, 1932 – September 12, 2003) was an American Country music, country singer-songwriter. Much of Cash's music contained themes of sorrow, moral tribulation, and redemption, especially in the later s ...
,
Patsy Cline
Patsy is a given name often used as a diminutive of the feminine given name Patricia or sometimes the masculine name Patrick, or occasionally other names containing the syllable "Pat" (such as Cleopatra, Patience, Patrice, or Patricia). Amon ...
and
Village People
Village People is an American disco group known for its on-stage costumes and suggestive lyrics in their music. The group was originally formed by French producers Jacques Morali, Henri Belolo and lead singer Victor Willis following the rel ...
.
The music was composed by
Ryan Shore
Ryan Shore (born 29 December 1974) is a Canadian composer, songwriter, conductor, music producer, and music director for film, television, virtual reality, records, games, concerts, and theater. He is often known from his scores for ''Star War ...
.
Reception
Box office
The movie had a production budget of $365,000 and grossed a worldwide total of $1,553,556.
Critical response
''Stan Helsing'' was panned by critics. It holds a rating of 14% "rotten" on Rotten Tomatoes based on 21 reviews, with an
average rating of 2.63/10. Robert Abele wrote in the ''
Los Angeles Times
The ''Los Angeles Times'' (abbreviated as ''LA Times'') is a daily newspaper that started publishing in Los Angeles in 1881. Based in the LA-adjacent suburb of El Segundo since 2018, it is the sixth-largest newspaper by circulation in the ...
'', "writer-director Bo Zenga's way with jokes is no different than that of a 5-year-old pointing at dog poop, who grows into a teenager tittering at underwear, who becomes a middle-aged, raincoated misogynist. Like garlic, holy water and silver bullets for our mythic evildoers, "Stan Helsing" is a surefire repellent to any good time." The ''
Toronto Star
The ''Toronto Star'' is a Canadian English-language broadsheet daily newspaper. The newspaper is the country's largest daily newspaper by circulation. It is owned by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary of Torstar Corporation and pa ...
'' panned the film, calling it “so unfunny it's scary” noting that Zenga was “the same hack who thought it would be hilarious to exploit every vulgar racial stereotype in the dismal Soul Plane.”
References
External links
* {{IMDb title, 1185266
2009 films
2009 comedy horror films
2009 horror films
2000s parody films
American comedy horror films
American parody films
Canadian comedy horror films
English-language Canadian films
Parodies of horror
2009 comedy films
Films scored by Ryan Shore
2000s English-language films
2000s American films
2000s Canadian films