''Stan Helsing'' (released in some countries as ''Scary Movie 5'', ''Mega Monster Movie'' or ''Horror Movie'') is a 2009 Canadian-American

horror comedy film Comedy horror, also known as horror comedy, is a literary, television, and film genre that combines elements of comedy and horror fiction. Comedy horror has been described as able to be categorized under three types: "black comedy, parody and spo ...

written and directed by Bo Zenga. It stars Steve Howey,

Diora Baird Diora Lynn Baird (born April 6, 1983)Baird at Maxim.com
Retrieved on 2011-07-26. ...

Kenan Thompson Kenan Thompson (; born May 10, 1978) is an American actor and comedian. He has been a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy series ''Saturday Night Live'' since 2003, making him the longest-tenured cast member in the show's history. He was also th ...

Desi Lydic Lani Desmonet Lydic ( ; born June 30, 1981) is an American comedian and actress who is a correspondent on '' The Daily Show'' with Trevor Noah. From 2011 to 2016, she starred as guidance counselor Valerie Marks on the MTV comedy-drama series ''Aw ...

and

Leslie Nielsen Leslie William Nielsen (11 February 192628 November 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters. Nielsen was bo ...

. Released on October 23, 2009 by

Anchor Bay Entertainment Anchor Bay Entertainment (formerly Video Treasures and Starmaker Entertainment) was an American home entertainment and production company. It was a subsidiary of Starz Inc. Anchor Bay Entertainment marketed and sold feature films, television se ...

, the film is similar to the ''Scary Movie'' film series and is a

parody A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its su ...

horror film Horror is a film genre that seeks to elicit fear or disgust in its audience for entertainment purposes. Horror films often explore dark subject matter and may deal with transgressive topics or themes. Broad elements include monsters, apo ...

Plot

Stan Helsing ( Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal mottos are "don't get involved" and "don't talk about it". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of films to the mother of the store's owner or risk being fired. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and convinces his friend Teddy (

), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (

Diora Baird Diora Lynn Baird (born April 6, 1983)Baird at Maxim.com
Retrieved on 2011-07-26. ...

), and ditzy blonde massage therapist Mia (

) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it is on the other side of town. En route, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots a living doll (a parody of Chucky, played by Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a

MILF MILF (, as if read as "milf") is an acronym that stands for "Mother I'd Like to Fuck". This abbreviation is used in colloquial English, instead of the whole phrase. It connotes an older woman considered sexually attractive, typically one who has ...

next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut. While trying to find their way, they hit a dog named "Sammy Boy" and ask a passerby for help, unaware that he is the dog's owner. The owner then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary

Abraham Van Helsing Professor Abraham Van Helsing, a fictional character from the 1897 gothic horror novel ''Dracula'', is an aged Dutch polymath doctor with a wide range of interests and accomplishments, partly attested by the Post-nominal letters, string of let ...

, the monster hunter. They depart and find Stormy Night Estates, only to discover that the attendants never put gas into the car. They find a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of

karaoke Karaoke (; ; , clipped compound of Japanese ''kara'' "empty" and ''ōkesutora'' "orchestra") is a type of interactive entertainment usually offered in clubs and bars, where people sing along to recorded music using a microphone. The music i ...

while singing

Johnny Cash John R. Cash (born J. R. Cash; February 26, 1932 – September 12, 2003) was an American Country music, country singer-songwriter. Much of Cash's music contained themes of sorrow, moral tribulation, and redemption, especially in the later s ...

's song "

Ring of Fire The Ring of Fire (also known as the Pacific Ring of Fire, the Rim of Fire, the Girdle of Fire or the Circum-Pacific belt) is a region around much of the rim of the Pacific Ocean where many volcanic eruptions and earthquakes occur. The Ring ...

". After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (

), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters, including the living doll they encountered earlier and parodies of Pinhead,

Jason Voorhees Jason Voorhees () is a character from the ''Friday the 13th'' series. He first appeared in ''Friday the 13th'' (1980) as the young son of camp-cook-turned-killer Mrs. Voorhees, in which he was portrayed by Ari Lehman. Created by Victor Mill ...

Freddy Krueger Freddy Krueger () is a fictional character and the primary antagonist in the ''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' film series. He was created by Wes Craven and made his debut in Craven's '' A Nightmare on Elm Street'' (1984) as the malevolent spiri ...

Leatherface Leatherface is a fictional character in ''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' film series created by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper. He first appears in ''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' as a disfigured, cannibalistic and mentally unstable mass murderer ...

, and Michael Myers. They stumble into a

church Church may refer to: Religion * Church (building), a building for Christian religious activities * Church (congregation), a local congregation of a Christian denomination * Church service, a formalized period of Christian communal worship * Ch ...

and encounter an

altar boy An altar server is a laity, lay assistant to a member of the clergy during a Christian liturgy. An altar server attends to supporting tasks at the altar such as fetching and carrying, ringing the altar bell, helps bring up the gifts, brings up t ...

who informs Stan of his destiny, confirms that he is Van Helsing's descendant, and kicks them out of his church after giving them weapons to fight the monsters. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in karaoke. The monsters sing "

Y.M.C.A. YMCA, sometimes regionally called the Y, is a worldwide youth organization based in Geneva, Switzerland, with more than 64 million beneficiaries in 120 countries. It was founded on 6 June 1844 by George Williams in London, originally ...

", with lyrics describing their desire to kill Stan, and the humans respond with "I Don't Wanna Go Home" by

Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes are an American musical group from the Jersey Shore led by Southside Johnny. They have been recording albums since 1976 and are closely associated with Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. They have recor ...

, modified to express their desire to simply leave. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Eschewing his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy, who had been brought back to vicious life (''a la'' ''

Pet Sematary ''Pet Sematary'' is a 1983 horror novel by American writer Stephen King. The novel was nominated for a World Fantasy Award for Best Novel in 1984, and adapted into two films: one in 1989 and another in 2019. In November 2013, PS Publishing ...

''). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine realizes how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggests kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.

Cast

* Steve Howey as Stan Helsing *

Diora Baird Diora Lynn Baird (born April 6, 1983)Baird at Maxim.com
Retrieved on 2011-07-26. ...

as Nadine *

as Teddy *

as Mia *

as Kay * Travis MacDonald as Hitcher * Chad Krowchuk as Sully *

Darren Moore Darren Mark Moore (born 22 April 1974) is a professional football manager and former player who played as a centre-back. He is the current manager of Sheffield Wednesday. Born in England, he earned two international caps for Jamaica. Moore is ...

as Crazy * Jeremy Crittenden as Altar Boy * Jeff Gulka as Lucky (spoof of Chucky from '' Child's Play'') *

Ken Kirzinger Kenneth Kirzinger (born November 4, 1959) is a Canadian actor and stuntman best known for his portrayals of Jason Voorhees in '' Freddy vs. Jason'' (2003), Pa in '' Wrong Turn 2: Dead End'' (2007) and Rusty Nail in '' Joy Ride 3: Roadkill'' (2014 ...

as Mason (spoof of

from ''

Friday the 13th Friday the 13th is considered an unlucky day in Western superstition. It occurs when the 13th day of the month in the Gregorian calendar falls on a Friday, which happens at least once every year but can occur up to three times in the same year. ...

'') *

Ben Cotton Ben Cotton (born July 26, 1975) is a Canadian film and television actor. His most notable roles are on the TV series ''Stargate Atlantis'' playing scientist Dr. Kavanagh, his portrayal of "Leon Bell" in the game Dead Rising 2, Shane Pierce, the ...

as Fweddy (spoof of

from ''

A Nightmare on Elm Street ''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' is a 1984 American Supernatural horror film, supernatural slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven and produced by Robert Shaye. It is the first installment in the A Nightmare on Elm Street (franchise), ''A ...

'') * Lee Tichon as Michael Cryers (spoof of Michael Myers from ''

Halloween Halloween or Hallowe'en (less commonly known as Allhalloween, All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve) is a celebration geography of Halloween, observed in many countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Saints' Day. ...

'') * Twan Holliday as Pleatherface (spoof of

from ''

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' is a 1974 American horror film produced and directed by Tobe Hooper from a story and screenplay by Hooper and Kim Henkel. It stars Marilyn Burns, Paul A. Partain, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow and Gunnar Hanse ...

'') * Charles Zuckermann as Needlehead (spoof of Pinhead from ''

Hellraiser ''Hellraiser'' is a 1987 British supernatural horror film written and directed by Clive Barker, and produced by Christopher Figg, based on Barker's 1986 novella ''The Hellbound Heart''. The film marked Barker's directorial debut. Its plot invol ...

'') * Hilary Strang as Hippie Lady * Ray G. Thunderchild as Husband *

John DeSantis John DeSantis, sometimes credited as John De Santis or John Desantis, (born November 13, 1973) is a Canadian actor, best known as Lurch on Fox Family's television of '' The New Addams Family''. His other work includes a principal role in Disne ...

Frankenstein's Monster Frankenstein's monster or Frankenstein's creature, often referred to as simply "Frankenstein", is a fictional character who first appeared in Mary Shelley's 1818 novel '' Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus''. Shelley's title thus compare ...

* Ryan Steele as the Wolfman * Jeremiah Sird as Idiot Indian

Parodies

* ''Jaws'' (1975) * ''Van Helsing'' (2004) * ''

'' (1984) * ''

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre ''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' is a 1974 American horror film produced and directed by Tobe Hooper from a story and screenplay by Hooper and Kim Henkel. It stars Marilyn Burns, Paul A. Partain, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow and Gunnar Hansen, wh ...

'' (1974) * ''Child's Play'' (1988) *''

'' (1987) * ''Friday the 13th'' (1980) * ''Halloween'' (1978) * ''

The Blair Witch Project ''The Blair Witch Project'' is a 1999 American supernatural horror film written, directed and edited by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez. It is a fictional story of three student filmmakers—Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Josh ...

'' (1999) * ''Pet Sematary'' (1989) * ''The Ring'' (2002) * '' Jeepers Creepers'' (2001)

Music

Soundtrack

Although no soundtrack album was released the film includes songs by

Pluto Pluto (minor-planet designation: 134340 Pluto) is a dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt, a ring of bodies beyond the orbit of Neptune. It is the ninth-largest and tenth-most-massive known object to directly orbit the Sun. It is the largest k ...

, The Saturday Knights, Davernoise and covers of songs by

Patsy Cline Patsy is a given name often used as a diminutive of the feminine given name Patricia or sometimes the masculine name Patrick, or occasionally other names containing the syllable "Pat" (such as Cleopatra, Patience, Patrice, or Patricia). Amon ...

and

Village People Village People is an American disco group known for its on-stage costumes and suggestive lyrics in their music. The group was originally formed by French producers Jacques Morali, Henri Belolo and lead singer Victor Willis following the rel ...

. The music was composed by

Ryan Shore Ryan Shore (born 29 December 1974) is a Canadian composer, songwriter, conductor, music producer, and music director for film, television, virtual reality, records, games, concerts, and theater. He is often known from his scores for ''Star War ...

Reception

Box office

The movie had a production budget of $365,000 and grossed a worldwide total of $1,553,556.

Critical response

''Stan Helsing'' was panned by critics. It holds a rating of 14% "rotten" on Rotten Tomatoes based on 21 reviews, with an average rating of 2.63/10. Robert Abele wrote in the ''

Los Angeles Times The ''Los Angeles Times'' (abbreviated as ''LA Times'') is a daily newspaper that started publishing in Los Angeles in 1881. Based in the LA-adjacent suburb of El Segundo since 2018, it is the sixth-largest newspaper by circulation in the ...

'', "writer-director Bo Zenga's way with jokes is no different than that of a 5-year-old pointing at dog poop, who grows into a teenager tittering at underwear, who becomes a middle-aged, raincoated misogynist. Like garlic, holy water and silver bullets for our mythic evildoers, "Stan Helsing" is a surefire repellent to any good time." The ''

Toronto Star The ''Toronto Star'' is a Canadian English-language broadsheet daily newspaper. The newspaper is the country's largest daily newspaper by circulation. It is owned by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary of Torstar Corporation and pa ...

'' panned the film, calling it “so unfunny it's scary” noting that Zenga was “the same hack who thought it would be hilarious to exploit every vulgar racial stereotype in the dismal Soul Plane.”

References

External links

* {{IMDb title, 1185266 2009 films 2009 comedy horror films 2009 horror films 2000s parody films American comedy horror films American parody films Canadian comedy horror films English-language Canadian films Parodies of horror 2009 comedy films Films scored by Ryan Shore 2000s English-language films 2000s American films 2000s Canadian films