"Santa Claus and His Old Lady" is a

bit The bit is the most basic unit of information in computing and digital communication. The name is a portmanteau of binary digit. The bit represents a logical state with one of two possible values. These values are most commonly represented as ...

Cheech and Chong Cheech & Chong are a comedy duo founded in Vancouver and consisting of American Cheech Marin and Canadian Tommy Chong. The duo found commercial and cultural success in the 1970s and 1980s with their stand-up routines, studio recordings, and fea ...

, one of their best-known comedy routines. It was the duo's first single. "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" did not appear on the duo's eponymous debut album, although the

B-side The A-side and B-side are the two sides of phonograph record, vinyl records and Compact cassette, cassettes, and the terms have often been printed on the labels of two-sided music recordings. The A-side of a Single (music), single usually ...

, "Dave", did.

Synopsis

The sketch begins with Cheech at the piano attempting to write a parody of " ¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?" (Spanish for "Where Is Santa Claus?"), a Christmas song by Augie Rios from 1958, to little success. Chong enters, at which point he reveals that he has never heard of

Santa Claus Santa Claus (also known as Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle or Santa) is a legendary figure originating in Western Christian culture who is said to bring gifts during the late evening and overnight hours on Chris ...

(Chong repeatedly mistakes Santa Claus for a musician). Cheech then explains the story of Santa Claus, but from an unusual perspective. In 1966, Santa and his wife began in

the projects In the United States, subsidized housing is administered by federal, state and local agencies to provide subsidized rental assistance for low-income households. Public housing is priced much below the market rate, allowing people to live in ...

in an apartment next door to Cheech, after which, in no small part due to a combination of excessive noise from "hammering and pounding all night" and the

cannabis ''Cannabis'' () is a genus of flowering plants in the family Cannabaceae that is widely accepted as being indigenous to and originating from the continent of Asia. However, the number of species is disputed, with as many as three species be ...

-infused brownies for which Mrs. Claus became known, they were driven out and formed a commune at the North Pole with a large group of midgets, supporting themselves with

welfare Welfare may refer to: Philosophy *Well-being (happiness, prosperity, or flourishing) of a person or group * Utility in utilitarianism * Value in value theory Economics * Utility, a general term for individual well-being in economics and decision ...

and

food stamps In the United States, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), formerly known as the Food Stamp Program, is a Federal government of the United States, federal government program that provides food-purchasing assistance for Poverty ...

. Cheech explains that the reason Santa's sleigh can fly is because he "took the

freeway A controlled-access highway is a type of highway that has been designed for high-speed vehicular traffic, with all traffic flow—ingress and egress—regulated. Common English terms are freeway, motorway, and expressway. Other similar terms ...

" and liberally used " magic dust" and that uncomfortable experiences with

Border Patrol A border guard of a country is a national security agency that ensures border security. Some of the national border guard agencies also perform coast guard (as in Germany, Italy or Ukraine) and rescue service duties. Name and uniform In diffe ...

and Southerners who threatened to cut off his hair and beard prompted him to go underground. According to Cheech, Santa Claus now works undercover as a

Salvation Army The Salvation Army (TSA) is a Protestantism, Protestant Christian church and an international charitable organisation headquartered in London, England. It is aligned with the Wesleyan-Holiness movement. The organisation reports a worldwide m ...

bell-ringer, at which point Chong once again, and more certainly this time, asserts he really had played music with Santa Claus. In contrast to most of their other sketches, Cheech and Chong play fictionalized versions of themselves in this bit. (Chong himself was a musician before beginning his collaboration with Cheech, most prominently as a songwriter and vocalist for

Bobby Taylor & the Vancouvers Bobby Taylor & the Vancouvers were a Canadian soul band from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The group recorded for the Gordy Records division of Motown Records in 1968, where they had a top 30 hit single, "Does Your Mama Know About Me". As ...

in the late 1960s; he somewhat fictionalizes this in the song, however, stating not that he is from his real hometown of Vancouver, but instead from

Pittsburgh Pittsburgh ( ) is a city in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, United States, and its county seat. It is the List of municipalities in Pennsylvania#Municipalities, second-most populous city in Pennsylvania (after Philadelphia) and the List of Un ...

Chart performance

"Santa Claus and His Old Lady" peaked at number 4 on the ''

Billboard A billboard (also called a hoarding in the UK and many other parts of the world) is a large outdoor advertising structure (a billing board), typically found in high-traffic areas such as alongside busy roads. Billboards present large advertis ...

'' Christmas Singles chart upon its release in 1971, then peaked again at number 3 on the same chart in 1972 and 1973. (Entries on any given week's Christmas Singles chart were ineligible for the corresponding edition of the

Hot 100 The ''Billboard'' Hot 100, also known as simply the Hot 100, is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for songs, published weekly by ''Billboard'' magazine. Chart rankings are based on sales (physical and digital), o ...

at the time.) In 1997, the record entered the

Mainstream Rock Tracks Mainstream Rock is a music chart published by '' Billboard'' magazine that ranks the most-played songs on mainstream rock radio stations in the United States. It is an administrative category that combines the " active rock" and " heritage rock" ...

chart and peaked at number 38 there.

Dave

The B-side was "Dave", one of the duo's earliest and most famous sketches. In this sketch, a man named Dave (Cheech), who is apparently on the run from the police, attempts to enter the locked apartment of his roommate (Chong), who will not answer the door. As Dave repeatedly tries to identify himself, the roommate instead thinks he is asking for Dave, and replies "Dave's not here."

References

{{Authority control Songs about Santa Claus 1971 singles Canadian comedy songs Comedy sketches Christmas novelty songs Cheech and Chong songs Songs about cannabis Ode Records singles Song recordings produced by Lou Adler