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Samra Zafar is a human rights advocate, speaker and writer, whose story of being a teen bride and survivor of domestic abuse became a bestselling memoir, "A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose".


Family and early life

Zafar was born in
Pakistan Pakistan, officially the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, is a country in South Asia. It is the List of countries and dependencies by population, fifth-most populous country, with a population of over 241.5 million, having the Islam by country# ...
and grew up in
Abu Dhabi Abu Dhabi is the capital city of the United Arab Emirates. The city is the seat of the Abu Dhabi Central Capital District, the capital city of the Emirate of Abu Dhabi, and the UAE's List of cities in the United Arab Emirates, second-most popu ...
in the
United Arab Emirates The United Arab Emirates (UAE), or simply the Emirates, is a country in West Asia, in the Middle East, at the eastern end of the Arabian Peninsula. It is a Federal monarchy, federal elective monarchy made up of Emirates of the United Arab E ...
,(UAE). Her father, while supportive of Zafar wanting to get an education, was abusive to his wife. At the age of sixteen, Zafar was engaged to be married to a friend of the family's brother, who lived in Canada and who was eleven years her senior. She was not happy with the idea until she was assured by her future husband and his family that she would be able to continue her education and go to university in Canada. The
arranged marriage Arranged marriage is a type of Marriage, marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures, a professional matchmaki ...
was held when Zafar was seventeen. After the marriage, her husband began the paperwork to bring her to Canada, and a year later Zafar joined her husband in Ontario. A month after her arrival in Canada, she realized she was pregnant with her first daughter. When her in-laws moved in with the couple, Zafar realized that their promises of continuing her education had been a lie. Five years later, she gave birth to a second daughter. For many years she was not permitted to go out of the house alone, have her own friends, or have any independence. She was advised by her husband and his parents that her destiny was to be a mother and a wife. She stayed in the marriage for 12 years, enduring both physical and emotional abuse, while living with her husband and, intermittently, his parents. Zafar left the marriage when she was 26.


Book

Zafar was asked to share her story with a journalist who wrote for the
Express Tribune ''The Express Tribune'' is a daily English-language newspaper based in Pakistan. It is the flagship publication of the '' Lakson Group'' media group. It is Pakistan's only internationally affiliated newspaper in a partnership with the '' Intern ...
, an online Pakistani newspaper. In 2013, she agreed and was surprised with the number of people who reached out to her after the article was published. Zafar started being asked to speak at events and in 2017 she wrote a personal essay for
Toronto Life ''Toronto Life'' is a monthly magazine about entertainment, politics and life in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. ''Toronto Life'' also publishes a number of annual special interest guides about the city, including ''Real Estate'', ''Stylebook'', ''Eati ...
magazine that became the top long-form article of the year. The article attracted the attention of publishers which lead
HarperCollins HarperCollins Publishers LLC is a British–American publishing company that is considered to be one of the "Big Five (publishers), Big Five" English-language publishers, along with Penguin Random House, Hachette Book Group USA, Hachette, Macmi ...
to print her memoir called ''A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose.'' The book was written with Meg Masters, a Toronto editor and the cover of the book features a photograph of Zafar from her wedding day. The book was named as one of the
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (), branded as CBC/Radio-Canada, is the Canadian Public broadcasting, public broadcaster for both radio and television. It is a Crown corporation that serves as the national public broadcaster, with its E ...
's 2019 best non-fiction books of the year and was listed as a top ten book to read in 2019 by Angela Haupt in the Washington Post. In 2020, it was listed by the
CBC CBC may refer to: Media * Cadena Baja California or Grupo Cadena, a radio and television broadcaster in Mexico * Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Canada's radio and television public broadcaster ** CBC Television ** CBC Radio One ** CBC Music ** ...
as one of 21 books, by Canadian women, to read now. The book has appeared on the bestseller lists of
the Globe and Mail ''The Globe and Mail'' is a Newspapers in Canada, Canadian newspaper printed in five cities in Western Canada, western and central Canada. With a weekly readership of more than 6 million in 2024, it is Canada's most widely read newspaper on week ...
and the
CBC CBC may refer to: Media * Cadena Baja California or Grupo Cadena, a radio and television broadcaster in Mexico * Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Canada's radio and television public broadcaster ** CBC Television ** CBC Radio One ** CBC Music ** ...
and has been optioned to be adapted to a TV series by Pier 21 films.


University

By earning money from a home daycare, which she was permitted to do only because the family was having financial difficulties, Zafar was able to save enough money to attend the
University of Toronto Mississauga The University of Toronto Mississauga (abbreviated as U of T Mississauga or UTM) is the second-largest division of the University of Toronto and one of its three campuses, located in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada. Established in 1967, the campus ...
after eight years of marriage. With the support of professors, students, a social worker and counsellors, she left her husband and lived on campus supporting herself and daughters by working at the university and selling butter chicken to students. She received 17 academic awards and scholarships, including the ''John H Moss Scholar'' award, which is awarded to the most outstanding student graduating from all three University of Toronto campuses. Zafar went on to receive a master's degree in economics. Since 2016, Zafar has held the position of an Alumni Governor for the University of Toronto, an elected position. As of 2021, Zafar is a medical student at the Micheal G. DeGroote School of Medicine at
McMaster University McMaster University (McMaster or Mac) is a public research university in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The main McMaster campus is on of land near the residential neighbourhoods of Ainslie Wood, Ontario, Ainslie Wood and Westdale, Ontario, Westd ...
and will be a part of the 2024 graduating cohort.


Activism

Zafar has presented at three
TED Talks TED Conferences, LLC (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an American-Canadian non-profit media organization that posts international talks online for free distribution under the slogan "Ideas Change Everything" (previously "Ideas Worth Sprea ...
, one of which was "...named an all-time top 10 talk on gender-based violence..." She has been asked to speak at events such as at the Canadian Federation of University Women Etobicoke's sixth annual ''Valentine's
Stop the Violence Lawrence "Kris" Parker (born August 20, 1965), better known by his stage names KRS-One (; an abbreviation of "Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone") and Teacha, is an American rapper from the Bronx. He rose to prominence as part of the ...
'' breakfast and the
University of Regina The University of Regina is a public university located in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Founded in 1911 as a private denominational high school of the Methodist Church of Canada, it began an association with the University of Saskatchewan as a j ...
's ''Inspiring Leadership Forum''. In 2019, Zafar became an Ambassador for ''
Plan International Plan International is a development and humanitarian organisation based in the United Kingdom that works in over 80 countries across Africa, the Americas, and Asia, focusing on children’s rights. In 2024, Plan International reached 43 million ...
Canada''.


Non-profit

Zafar founded a not-for-profit organization called Brave Beginnings to help abuse victims rebuild their lives.


Awards and recognition

In 2019, Zafar was recognized as one of the ''Top 100 Most Powerful Women in Canada'' by the Women's Executive Network and was a winner of ''Canada's Top 25 Immigrants.'' In May 2021, Zafar was named the ''Desmond Parker Outstanding Young Alumni Award'' winner at the University of Toronto, which is given to past students who demonstrate excellence in community service and professional accomplishments.


Personal life

Zafar lives in Toronto, downtown with her two daughters.. She had a career in banking.. She is currently pursuing medical school as of fall 2021.


References


External links


Express Tribune articleToronto Life articleTedx MississaugaTedx UTSCTedx Youth
{{DEFAULTSORT:Zafar, Samra 1982 births Living people 21st-century Canadian women writers Canadian feminist writers University of Toronto alumni Canadian women non-fiction writers Pakistani emigrants to Canada Canadian women memoirists Pakistani memoirists Pakistani women memoirists 21st-century Pakistani women writers