Samra Zafar is a human rights advocate, speaker and writer, whose story of being a teen bride and survivor of domestic abuse became a bestselling memoir, "A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose".
Family and early life
Zafar was born in
Pakistan
Pakistan ( ur, ), officially the Islamic Republic of Pakistan ( ur, , label=none), is a country in South Asia. It is the world's List of countries and dependencies by population, fifth-most populous country, with a population of almost 24 ...
and grew up in
Abu Dhabi in the
United Arab Emirates
The United Arab Emirates (UAE; ar, اَلْإِمَارَات الْعَرَبِيَة الْمُتَحِدَة ), or simply the Emirates ( ar, الِْإمَارَات ), is a country in Western Asia ( The Middle East). It is located at ...
,(UAE).
Her father, while supportive of Zafar wanting to get an education, was abusive to his wife. At the age of sixteen, Zafar was engaged to be married to a friend of the family's brother, who lived in Canada and who was eleven years her senior. She was not happy with the idea until she was assured by her future husband and his family that she would be able to continue her education and go to university in Canada. The
arranged marriage
Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be us ...
was held when Zafar was seventeen. After the marriage, her husband began the paperwork to bring her to Canada, and a year later Zafar joined her husband in Ontario.
A month after her arrival in Canada, she realized she was pregnant with her first daughter. When her in-laws moved in with the couple, Zafar realized that their promises of continuing her education had been a lie. Five years later, she gave birth to a second daughter. For many years she was not permitted to go out of the house alone, have her own friends, or have any independence. She was advised by her husband and his parents that her destiny was to be a mother and a wife.
She stayed in the marriage for 12 years, enduring both physical and emotional abuse, while living with her husband and, intermittently, his parents.
Zafar left the marriage when she was 26.
Book
Zafar was asked to share her story with a journalist who wrote for the
Express Tribune
''The Express Tribune'' is a daily English language, English-language newspaper based in Pakistan. It is the flagship publication of the ''Daily Express (Urdu newspaper), Daily Express'' media group. It is Pakistan's only internationally affiliat ...
, an online Pakistani newspaper. In 2013, she agreed and was surprised with the number of people who reached out to her after the article was published. Zafar started being asked to speak at events and in 2017 she wrote a personal essay for
Toronto Life
''Toronto Life'' is a monthly magazine about entertainment, politics and life in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. ''Toronto Life'' also publishes a number of annual special interest guides about the city, including ''Real Estate'', ''Stylebook'', ''Eati ...
magazine that became the top
long-form article of the year. The article attracted the attention of publishers which lead
HarperCollins
HarperCollins Publishers LLC is one of the Big Five English-language publishing companies, alongside Penguin Random House, Simon & Schuster, Hachette, and Macmillan. The company is headquartered in New York City and is a subsidiary of News C ...
to print her memoir called ''A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose.'' The book was written with Meg Masters, a Toronto editor and the cover of the book features a photograph of Zafar from her wedding day.
The book was named as one of the
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (french: Société Radio-Canada), branded as CBC/Radio-Canada, is a Canadian public broadcaster for both radio and television. It is a federal Crown corporation that receives funding from the governme ...
's 2019 best non-fiction books of the year and was listed as a top ten book to read in 2019 by Angela Haupt in the Washington Post. In 2020, it was listed by the
CBC as one of 21 books, by Canadian women, to read now.
The book has appeared on the bestseller lists of
the Globe and Mail and the
CBC and has been optioned to be adapted to a TV series by Pier 21 films.
University
By earning money from a home daycare, which she was permitted to do only because the family was having financial difficulties, Zafar was able to save enough money to attend the
University of Toronto Mississauga
The University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM), also known as U of T Mississauga, is one of the three campuses that make up the tri-campus system of the University of Toronto. Located in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, the campus opened in 1967 as Eri ...
after eight years of marriage. With the support of professors, students, a social worker and counsellors, she left her husband and lived on campus supporting herself and daughters by working at the university and selling butter chicken to students.
She received 17 academic awards and scholarships, including the ''John H Moss Scholar'' award, which is awarded to the most outstanding student graduating from all three University of Toronto campuses.
Zafar went on to receive a master's degree in economics.
Since 2016, Zafar has held the position of an Alumni Governor for the University of Toronto, an elected position.
As of 2021, Zafar is a medical student at the
Micheal G. DeGroote School of Medicine at
McMaster University
McMaster University (McMaster or Mac) is a public research university in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The main McMaster campus is on of land near the residential neighbourhoods of Ainslie Wood and Westdale, adjacent to the Royal Botanical ...
and will be a part of the 2024 graduating cohort.
Activism
Zafar has presented at three
TED Talks
TED Conferences, LLC (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an American-Canadian non-profit media organization that posts international talks online for free distribution under the slogan "ideas worth spreading". TED was founded by Richard Sau ...
, one of which was "...named an all-time top 10 talk on gender-based violence..."
She has been asked to speak at events such as at the Canadian Federation of
University Women Etobicoke's sixth annual ''Valentine's
Stop the Violence
Lawrence "Kris" Parker (born August 20, 1965), better known by his stage names KRS-One (; an abbreviation of "Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone") and Teacha, is an American rapper from New York City. He rose to prominence as part of ...
'' breakfast and the
University of Regina
The University of Regina is a public research university located in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Founded in 1911 as a private denominational high school of the Methodist Church of Canada, it began an association with the University of Saskatche ...
's ''Inspiring Leadership Forum''.
In 2019, Zafar became an Ambassador for ''
Plan International
Plan International is a development and humanitarian organisation which works in over 75 countries across Africa, the Americas, and Asia to advance children’s rights and equality for girls. Its focus is on child protection, education, child par ...
Canada''.
Non-profit
Zafar founded a not-for-profit organization called Brave Beginnings to help abuse victims rebuild their lives.
Awards and recognition
In 2019, Zafar was recognized as one of the ''Top 100 Most Powerful Women in Canada'' by the Women's Executive Network and was a winner of ''Canada's Top 25 Immigrants.''
In May of 2021, Zafar was named the ''Desmond Parker Outstanding Young Alumni Award'' winner at the University of Toronto, which is given to past students who demonstrate excellence in community service and professional accomplishments.
Personal life
Zafar lives in Toronto, downtown with her two daughters.. She had a career in banking.. She is currently pursuing medical school as of fall 2021.
References
External links
Express Tribune articleToronto Life articleTedx MississaugaTedx UTSCTedx Youth
{{DEFAULTSORT:Zafar, Samra
1982 births
Living people
21st-century Canadian women writers
Canadian feminist writers
University of Toronto alumni
Canadian women non-fiction writers
Pakistani emigrants to Canada