Rock-a-Hula Ted
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"Rock a Hula Ted" is the seventh episode of the second series of
Channel 4 Channel 4 is a British free-to-air public broadcast television channel owned and operated by Channel Four Television Corporation. It is state-owned enterprise, publicly owned but, unlike the BBC, it receives no public funding and is funded en ...
sitcom A sitcom (short for situation comedy or situational comedy) is a genre of comedy produced for radio and television, that centers on a recurring cast of character (arts), characters as they navigate humorous situations within a consistent settin ...
''
Father Ted ''Father Ted'' is a sitcom created by Irish writers Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews (writer), Arthur Mathews and produced by British production company Hat Trick Productions for British television channel Channel 4. It aired over three seri ...
'', and the thirteenth episode overall.


Synopsis

Ted and Dougal see
feminist Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideology, ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social gender equality, equality of the sexes. Feminism holds the position that modern soci ...
musician Niamh Connolly – a thinly veiled parody of
Sinéad O'Connor Shuhada' Sadaqat (born Sinéad Marie Bernadette O'Connor; , ; 8 December 1966 – 26 July 2023) was an Irish singer, songwriter, record producer and activist. Her debut studio album, ''The Lion and the Cobra'', was released in 1987 and achieve ...
– on the television, accusing the Catholic Church of multiple atrocious but highly improbable acts during the Great Famine, such as shutting the "potato factories" and turning them into children's prisons. She then sings a radically feminist, anti-clerical song ("Big men in frocks / Tellin' us what to do / They can't get pregnant like I do") with the lyrics signed for TV viewers. Ted and Dougal loudly dismiss all of this. Meanwhile, Mrs Doyle declares that the Church has always been good to her, while she is preoccupied with various heavy labour tasks around the parochial house in addition to her regular housework, as the men relax in front of the television. Ted is asked to be a judge in the ''Lovely Girls'' competition, and Jack comes along for the day. Due to Jack's atypical long hair, he resembles
Bob Geldof Robert Frederick Zenon Geldof (; born 5 October 1951) is an Irish singer-songwriter and political activist. He rose to prominence in the late 1970s as the lead singer of the Irish rock band the Boomtown Rats, who achieved popularity as part ...
and proceeds to imitate him by beginning a collection for
Live Aid Live Aid was a two-venue benefit concert and music-based fundraising initiative held on Saturday, 13 July 1985. The event was organised by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure to raise further funds for relief of the 1983–1985 famine in Ethiopia, a m ...
– any proceeds going directly to Jack himself. When Ted finds out, he tells off Jack asking, "What would
Queen Queen most commonly refers to: * Queen regnant, a female monarch of a kingdom * Queen consort, the wife of a reigning king * Queen (band), a British rock band Queen or QUEEN may also refer to: Monarchy * Queen dowager, the widow of a king * Q ...
think, and
Peter Gabriel Peter Brian Gabriel (born 13 February 1950) is an English singer, songwriter, musician, and human rights activist. He came to prominence as the original frontman of the rock band Genesis. He left the band in 1975 and launched a solo career wit ...
and all those acts who were on earlier in the day? And what about
Phil Collins Philip David Charles Collins (born 30 January 1951) is an English musician, songwriter, record producer and actor. He was the drummer and later became the lead singer of the rock band Genesis (band), Genesis and had a successful solo career, ac ...
flying all the way from
Boston Boston is the capital and most populous city in the Commonwealth (U.S. state), Commonwealth of Massachusetts in the United States. The city serves as the cultural and Financial centre, financial center of New England, a region of the Northeas ...
?", prompting a vicious punch in the stomach by Jack. This results in Ted showing up at the contest breathing heavily as he welcomes the girls. The contest revolves around various self-parodying imitations of typical events (sandwich construction, walking, laughing) with Imelda ultimately deemed the winner by Ted. Her prize is a meal with Ted in Craggy Island's top seafood Thai restaurant, The Thai Cottage, out of her own wallet. While Ted is out, Niamh Connolly comes to visit. Dougal invites her in and (technically following some advice Ted gave him) asks her if she would like to remove her bra, even offering to make tea while she takes her bra off. He then attempts to make a cup of tea for her but concedes defeat with Mrs Doyle busy elsewhere. When Ted returns, he is dismayed to discover that Dougal has managed to sign over the parochial house to Niamh behind his back. Niamh asks Ted and Dougal to leave; this is further strongly encouraged by her two bodyguards. Spending the night in a tent outside the house, Ted asked Dougal how he let this happen. Dougal says he was following Ted's instructions about dealing with women: He had tried to talk about clothes and make her comfortable (by asking her to remove her bra) and he had given her what she had wanted (the house). Ted leaves a pen and notebook outside the tent, in the hope that God will write the answer to their problem overnight. As expected, this does not happen, so Ted returns to the house and negotiates with Niamh. Just as he is telling her about the "good work" that goes on in the parish, another priest comes in, asking Ted which dress he prefers out of two he has in his arms. Niamh does not know the dresses are for Imelda, and thinks the priest is going to wear them himself. Ted says the dresses are both equally good, and after the priest gratefully departs, he tells Niamh that Craggy Island is a place where priests who lead all sorts of lifestyles can live free from hypocrisy and intolerance. A noise is heard upstairs, and Jack comes barging into the room. He sees Niamh and yells ''"Woman!"'' before Ted pushes him out of the room and hastily attempts to disguise this sudden intrusion as "Father Billy" expressing his positive views on women priests. Jack is seen at the window behind Niamh leering lustily at her. Imploring Niamh to return the house, Ted makes the mistake of saying he is a huge fan who has all her records; she agrees to give him back the house as soon as she has signed all the records. Ted rushes off to John and Mary's shop where he luckily finds most of her discography. Whilst Niamh is signing them, an exhausted Mrs Doyle appears saying that she has finished with the pipes and she will get on with the rest of her chores, even though she is visibly worn out. Ted interrupts in an attempt to save the day but is hit across the chest by the pile of records thrown by Niamh. The next scene shows Imelda, Niamh and Mrs Doyle dining in the Thai restaurant. Mrs Doyle is agitated about having left the priests home alone, but Niamh urges her to enjoy herself. She reveals she has returned the house to Ted and Dougal in return for Mrs Doyle having one night off every week and urges the other two to relax and enjoy themselves as there are "no men around, sisters, we can do as we like." However, as Mrs Doyle nervously attempts to use her chopsticks to pick up a bite of food, Niamh suddenly erupts in fury, screaming ''"Is that meat??!"'' Mrs. Doyle is utterly discomfited. Imelda inquires with bafflement, "Do I still have to pay for this?" The credits roll and Ted and Dougal are shown in the kitchen struggling to put out a fire which has broken out. Ted screams, ''"I just want a cup of tea!"'' and the pair break down in tears.


Trivia

*The Lovely Girls competition is a parody of The Rose of Tralee competition, which takes place every August in
Tralee Tralee ( ; , ; formerly , meaning 'strand of the River Lee') is the county town of County Kerry in the south-west of Republic of Ireland, Ireland. The town is on the northern side of the neck of the Dingle Peninsula, and is the largest town in ...
,
County Kerry County Kerry () is a Counties of Ireland, county on the southwest coast of Republic of Ireland, Ireland, within the Provinces of Ireland, province of Munster and the Southern Region, Ireland, Southern Region. It is bordered by two other countie ...
. A contest called "The Lovely Girls" existed during the 1950s in Butlin's Mosney holiday camp which, as in the episode, was held in a tent with the contestants dressing in a similar way. *Niamh Connolly is based on
Sinéad O'Connor Shuhada' Sadaqat (born Sinéad Marie Bernadette O'Connor; , ; 8 December 1966 – 26 July 2023) was an Irish singer, songwriter, record producer and activist. Her debut studio album, ''The Lion and the Cobra'', was released in 1987 and achieve ...
, who famously criticised the
Catholic Church The Catholic Church (), also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the List of Christian denominations by number of members, largest Christian church, with 1.27 to 1.41 billion baptized Catholics Catholic Church by country, worldwid ...
, with elements of
Dolores O'Riordan Dolores Mary Eileen O'Riordan ( ; 6 September 1971 – 15 January 2018) was an Irish musician and singer-songwriter who achieved international fame as the lead vocalist of the rock band The Cranberries. O'Riordan was the principal songwriter of ...
's look.


References


External links


"Rock-a-Hula Ted" at the IMDB
{{Father Ted, state=collapsed 1996 British television episodes Father Ted episodes Television episodes about beauty pageants