Purity Ball
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A purity ball is a formal dance event typically practiced by some conservative
Christian A Christian () is a person who follows or adheres to Christianity, a Monotheism, monotheistic Abrahamic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus in Christianity, Jesus Christ. Christians form the largest religious community in the wo ...
groups in the
United States The United States of America (USA), also known as the United States (U.S.) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It is a federal republic of 50 U.S. state, states and a federal capital district, Washington, D.C. The 48 ...
. The events are attended by fathers and their
teenage Adolescence () is a transitional stage of human physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age of majority). Adolescence is usually associated with ...
daughters in order to promote
virginity Virginity is a social construct that denotes the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. As it is not an objective term with an operational definition, social definitions of what constitutes virginity, or the lack thereo ...
until
marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and b ...
. Typically, daughters who attend a purity ball make a virginity pledge to remain
sexually abstinent Sexual abstinence or sexual restraint is the practice of refraining from sexual activity for reasons medical, psychological, legal, social, philosophical, moral, religious or other. It is a part of chastity. Celibacy is sexual abstinence generall ...
until marriage. Fathers who attend a purity ball make a promise to protect their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul." The balls are considered a part of purity culture. Proponents of these events believe that they encourage close and deeply affectionate relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the premarital sexual activity that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with young men. Critics of the balls argue that they encourage and engrave dysfunctional expectations in the minds of the young women, making them vulnerable to believing their only value is as property, and teaching them that they must subjugate their own mental, physical, and emotional well-being to the needs of potentially or actually abusive partners.


Origins

In 1998, the first purity ball was organized by Randy and Lisa Wilson in
Colorado Springs, Colorado Colorado Springs is the most populous city in El Paso County, Colorado, United States, and its county seat. The city had a population of 478,961 at the 2020 United States census, 2020 census, a 15.02% increase since 2010 United States Census, 2 ...
,
United States of America The United States of America (USA), also known as the United States (U.S.) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It is a federal republic of 50 states and a federal capital district, Washington, D.C. The 48 contiguo ...
. This event was created for the Wilsons' five daughters and the fathers that he viewed as not having a place in their daughters' lives. Randy Wilson is a director of the Family Research Council, and previously worked for
Focus on the Family Focus on the Family (FOTF or FotF) is an American Christian fundamentalism, Evangelical Protestant organization founded in 1977 in Southern California by James Dobson, based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The group is one of a number of Evangel ...
. The balls were promoted on the radio by
James Dobson James Clayton Dobson Jr. (born April 21, 1936) is an American evangelicalism, evangelical Christian author, psychologist, and founder of Focus on the Family (FotF), which he led from 1977 until 2010. In the 1980s, he was ranked as one of the m ...
. In 2012, the ''New York Times'' concluded "there is little hard evidence that purity balls have spread much beyond Colorado Springs" in spite of claims that the events are widespread. The newspaper notes that chastity-promotion events may go by other names, such as "father-daughter balls," in other locations. Purity balls were most notorious during the early 2000s, but they continue. US Speaker of the House
Mike Johnson James Michael Johnson (born January 30, 1972) is an American lawyer and politician serving as the List of speakers of the United States House of Representatives, 56th speaker of the United States House of Representatives since 2023. A member ...
took his daughter to a purity ball in 2015, describing women as "prey" who must be taught to avoid "predators."


Ceremony

The ceremony is a formal event as daughters get dressed up in ball gowns, and the evening typically consists of dinner, a keynote speaker, ballroom dancing and a vow for fathers and daughters. The girls can range in age from their college years to four years old; however, the majority of girls are "just old enough… ohave begun menstruating" as purity ball guidelines advise. Some ceremonies state a minimum age requirement. Although the chastity pledges differ between organizations, the purity balls held by the creator of the concept, Pastor Randy Wilson, follow a symbolic ritual. Each father or mentor pledges to shield and protect his daughter; to live a pure life himself as a man, husband, and father; and, to be a man of integrity and responsibility as he acts as a role model for his family. The father's protecting role over the daughter's virginity is emphasized throughout the night, as Wilson states "Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us… They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad." One widely used pledge for fathers reads: "I, (daughter's name)'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and my family as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come." Remembrance gifts are given at some ceremonies to represent the girl's promise of chastity and the father's oath to protect her and guide her in her lifestyle. One form of token is a charm bracelet or necklace in the shape of a heart for the girl and a key for her father, which symbolizes the father's duty to protect the young girl's heart, only giving away the key to her husband on her wedding day. The ceremonies close with a father–daughter waltz which aims to solidify the bond between father and daughter and elucidate the promoters' concept of a "proper date". Lisa Wilson, wife to Randy Wilson and co-founder of Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry in Colorado Springs, states "We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives". Wilson advises fathers to praise their daughters'
physical attractiveness Physical attractiveness is the degree to which a person's physical features are considered aesthetics, aesthetically pleasing or beauty, beautiful. The term often implies sexual attraction, sexual attractiveness or desirability, but can also be d ...
: "I applaud your courage to look your daughter in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is." Participants are described as "dates", and, according to '' Glamour'' magazine, could be mistaken for heterosexual romantic partners in the absence of information about their parent–child relationship.


Beliefs and rationale

Advocates of purity balls assert that they promote physical, psychological, and spiritual integrity. Randy Wilson, one of the co-founders of the purity ball, states that "The idea was to model what the relationship can be as a daughter grows from a child to an adult. You come in closer, become available to answer whatever questions she has." Wilson did not want virginity pledges to become characteristic elements of purity balls as he questions the wisdom of such promises: "It heaps guilt upon them. If they fail, you've made it worse for them." In an interview with
Anderson Cooper Anderson Hays Cooper (born June 3, 1967) is an American broadcast journalist and political commentator who anchors the CNN news broadcast show ''Anderson Cooper 360°''. In addition to his duties at CNN, Cooper serves as a correspondent for ''6 ...
, Wilson said that purity balls encourage fathers to participate in their daughters' lives, provide guidance, and teach coping skills.


Criticism

Jessica Valenti criticized purity balls in her 2010 book '' The Purity Myth''. She says that the balls' central message is that women's sexuality is controlled by men. She further argues that the balls sexualize young girls; the event is often promoted as a "date." Writer and
feminist Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideology, ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social gender equality, equality of the sexes. Feminism holds the position that modern soci ...
Eve Ensler V, formerly Eve Ensler (; born May 25, 1953), is an American playwright, author, performer, feminist, and activist. V is best known for her play ''The Vagina Monologues''.
criticizes purity balls for implying that fathers, rather than young women themselves, have the freedom to control whether and with whom the young women engage in
sexual intercourse Sexual intercourse (also coitus or copulation) is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion of the Erection, erect male Human penis, penis inside the female vagina and followed by Pelvic thrust, thrusting motions for sexual pleasure ...
.Would you pledge your virginity to your father?
; '' Glamour''; January, 2007; Jennifer Baumgardner.
''Glamour'' claims that National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health data supports the conclusion that teenagers making virginity pledges, including those promulgated through purity balls, usually do not adhere to the required standard of chastity, and are less prepared to utilize
safe sex Safe sex is sexual activity using methods or contraceptive devices (such as condoms) to reduce the risk of transmitting or acquiring sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially HIV. "Safe sex" is also sometimes referred to as safer ...
practices to mitigate the risks when engaging in sexual activity. Furthermore, Glamour states that the percentage of teenagers in a given area who have made virginity pledges is positively correlated with the frequency with which
sexually transmitted infections A sexually transmitted infection (STI), also referred to as a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and the older term venereal disease (VD), is an infection that is spread by sexual activity, especially vaginal intercourse, anal sex, or ...
occur. An article in ''Time'' magazine says that there is a scientific controversy as to the efficacy of the virginity pledges at purity balls.The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity
; ''
Time Magazine ''Time'' (stylized in all caps as ''TIME'') is an American news magazine based in New York City. It was published weekly for nearly a century. Starting in March 2020, it transitioned to every other week. It was first published in New York Cit ...
''; July 17, 2008; Nancy Gibbs
Opponents of purity balls claim that they encroach upon women's freedom of choice to date whom they please and to make their own independent decisions without the help of men. In this view, the philosophy of purity balls implies that young girls are not capable of making their own choices. Jennifer Freitag, a Southern Illinois University Carbondale doctoral student, argues that, from a feminist perspective, the purity ball ritual can be considered sexist discrimination as it rarely applies to men, and ignores whether women desire heterosexual marriages. Freitag further asserts that the purity balls and virginity pledges give women fewer opportunities to explore their future mates and presume that the girls will marry men, ignoring
lesbianism A lesbian is a homosexual woman or girl. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homo ...
,
bisexuality Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or Human sexual activity, sexual behavior toward both males and females. It may also be defined as the attraction to more than one gender, to people of both the same and different gender, ...
, and
transsexualism A transsexual person is someone who experiences a gender identity that is inconsistent with their assigned sex, and desires to permanently transition to the sex or gender with which they identify, usually seeking medical assistance (incl ...
. Also, Freitag claims that purity balls have psychological elements of father–daughter
incest Incest ( ) is sexual intercourse, sex between kinship, close relatives, for example a brother, sister, or parent. This typically includes sexual activity between people in consanguinity (blood relations), and sometimes those related by lineag ...
.
Conservative Conservatism is a cultural, social, and political philosophy and ideology that seeks to promote and preserve traditional institutions, customs, and values. The central tenets of conservatism may vary in relation to the culture and civiliza ...
journalist A journalist is a person who gathers information in the form of text, audio or pictures, processes it into a newsworthy form and disseminates it to the public. This is called journalism. Roles Journalists can work in broadcast, print, advertis ...
Betsy Hart supports the idea of sexual abstinence prior to marriage. However, she has expressed concerns that purity balls are pervaded by a preoccupation with physical chastity which may inadvertently imbue the social construction of girls attending them with erotic attributes. She claims that this "sexualizing" shifts attention away from maintenance of the internal moral and spiritual virtue which she believes is required by the tenets of the
Christian A Christian () is a person who follows or adheres to Christianity, a Monotheism, monotheistic Abrahamic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus in Christianity, Jesus Christ. Christians form the largest religious community in the wo ...
faith.


See also

* Silver Ring Thing *
Purity ring Purity rings (also known as promise rings, abstinence rings, or chastity rings) are rings worn as a sign of chastity. Since the 1990s, Christian organizations in the United States used the purity ring as a symbol of commitment. In particular, Cat ...
*
Abstinence-only sex education Abstinence-only sex education (also known as sexual risk avoidance education) is a form of sex education that teaches not having sex outside of marriage. It often excludes other types of sexual and reproductive health education, such as birth co ...
* Father-daughter dance


References

{{reflist, 30em


External links


The Purity Ball
''
Time Magazine ''Time'' (stylized in all caps as ''TIME'') is an American news magazine based in New York City. It was published weekly for nearly a century. Starting in March 2020, it transitioned to every other week. It was first published in New York Cit ...
'' photo essay of a purity ball Sexual abstinence and religion Dance culture Christian practices 1998 introductions Debutante balls Dances of the United States Christianity in the United States Modesty in Christianity Women's rights in the United States