Pamela Ayres MBE (born 14 March 1947) is a British poet, comedian, songwriter and presenter of radio and television programmes. Her 1975 appearance on the television talent show '' Opportunity Knocks'' led to appearances on other TV and radio shows, a one-woman touring stage show and performing before the Queen.

Early life

Pam Ayres was born in Stanford in the Vale, Berkshire (now administered as part of

Oxfordshire Oxfordshire ( ; abbreviated ''Oxon'') is a ceremonial county in South East England. The county is bordered by Northamptonshire and Warwickshire to the north, Buckinghamshire to the east, Berkshire to the south, and Wiltshire and Glouceste ...

), the youngest of six children (having four elder brothers and a sister) of Stanley and Phyllis Ayres. Her father worked for 44 years as a linesman for the Southern Electricity Board, having been a sergeant in the

Grenadier Guards The Grenadier Guards (GREN GDS) is the most senior infantry regiment of the British Army, being at the top of the Infantry Order of Precedence. It can trace its lineage back to 1656 when Lord Wentworth's Regiment was raised in Bruges to protect ...

during the

Second World War World War II or the Second World War (1 September 1939 – 2 September 1945) was a World war, global conflict between two coalitions: the Allies of World War II, Allies and the Axis powers. World War II by country, Nearly all of the wo ...

. Ayres considered her upbringing "a country childhood"; she was raised in one of a row of small council houses. After leaving Faringdon Secondary School at the age of 15, she joined the

Civil Service The civil service is a collective term for a sector of government composed mainly of career civil service personnel hired rather than elected, whose institutional tenure typically survives transitions of political leadership. A civil service offic ...

as a clerical assistant and worked at the Army (RAOC) Central Ordnance Depot in Bicester. She soon left and signed up for the Women's Royal Air Force, where she trained as a Plotter Air Photographer, working at JARIC in a drawing office dealing with operational maps. While serving in the air force, she gained O-level passes in English language and English literature and began her career as an entertainer. On leaving the WRAF, she went through a number of jobs, before ending up at Smiths Industries, Witney, where she spent six years, working as a 'Confidential Secretary'. While at Smiths, Ayres began performing at a local folk club, and this led eventually to an invitation to read on BBC Radio Oxford in 1974. Her reading of her poem ''The Battery Hen'' was re-broadcast as ''Pick of the Week'' on the ''Today'' programme on

BBC Radio 4 BBC Radio 4 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC. The station replaced the BBC Home Service on 30 September 1967 and broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes from the BBC's headquarters at Broadcasti ...

, leading to a six-month contract with Radio Oxford. Her recital went on to feature as an item in the BBC's ''Pick of the Year''. In February 1976, she left Smiths to pursue poetry full-time. In September 2006, the BBC's ''Magazine Monitors ''"10 Things..."'', claimed, though without providing details, to have learnt that week (''1-8 Sep'') that

Bob Dylan Bob Dylan (legally Robert Dylan; born Robert Allen Zimmerman, May 24, 1941) is an American singer-songwriter. Described as one of the greatest songwriters of all time, Dylan has been a major figure in popular culture over his nearly 70-year ...

inspired Ayres to write poetry. However, although Ayres has often spoken of her admiration of Dylan, in a 2015 interview, she stated that "I don't know that he ylanever was the inspiration to start writing poetry... I certainly loved him." In a 2006 interview (aired on Radio New Zealand's Nine To Noon programme, 24 October 2006), she stated that, at the age of twelve, she enjoyed writing parodies of the

Lonnie Donegan Anthony James "Lonnie" Donegan (29 April 1931 – 3 November 2002) was a British skiffle singer, songwriter and musician, referred to as the " King of Skiffle", who influenced 1960s British pop and rock musicians. Born in Scotland and brought ...

songs popular at that time.

Career

In 1975, Ayres appeared on the television talent show '' Opportunity Knocks''. This led to a wide variety of guest appearances on TV and radio shows. Since then she has published six books of poems, toured in a one-woman stage show, hosted her own TV show and performed her stage show for the Queen. Her poetry has a simple style and deals with everyday subject matter. Her poem "Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth", was voted into the Top 10 of a BBC poll to find the nation's 100 Favourite Comic Poems. In the UK Arts Council's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as the fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999. From 1996, Ayres has appeared frequently on

BBC Radio BBC Radio is an operational business division and service of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) which has operated in the United Kingdom under the terms of a royal charter since 1927. The service provides national radio stations cove ...

: from 1996 until 1999 Ayres presented a two-hour music and chat show every Sunday afternoon on BBC Radio 2; this was followed by two series of ''Pam Ayres' Open Road'', in which she visited various parts of the United Kingdom, interviewing people with interesting stories to tell about their lives and local areas. More recently Ayres has become a regular contributor to

, appearing in programmes such as '' Just a Minute'', ''Say the Word'', '' That Reminds Me'', and six series of her own show, ''Ayres on the Air'', a radio show of her poetry and sketches. In 2007, Ayres acted in a radio

sitcom A sitcom (short for situation comedy or situational comedy) is a genre of comedy produced for radio and television, that centers on a recurring cast of character (arts), characters as they navigate humorous situations within a consistent settin ...

, '' Potting On'' for Radio 4, co-starring Geoffrey Whitehead. She wrote and recorded six series of her Radio 4 programme ''Ayres on the Air'', the latest of which was broadcast in 2018. Since 2002, Ayres has appeared a number of times on

Channel 4 Channel 4 is a British free-to-air public broadcast television channel owned and operated by Channel Four Television Corporation. It is state-owned enterprise, publicly owned but, unlike the BBC, it receives no public funding and is funded en ...

in '' Countdown'''s Dictionary Corner alongside Susie Dent. In 2009, she made her first appearance on the BBC TV programme, '' QI''. In 2011 she said in a ''Daily Telegraph'' magazine interview that she was "about to go on my 14th tour of Australia". Her autobiography, ''The Necessary Aptitude: A Memoir'', was published in 2011. It traces her life and career from growing as the youngest of six children in a council house in the Vale of the White Horse, Berkshire, her time in the Women's Royal Air Force and the string of events that led to ''Opportunity Knocks''. The title refers to the number of times she was told in her life she "did not have the necessary aptitude". In 2013, she published her latest book of poems, entitled ''You Made me Late Again!'' In September 2021, her TV series ''The Cotswolds with Pam Ayres'' premiered on Channel 5. Each episode features a special guest and ends with Pam reciting a short, uplifting verse summing up her adventures. In 2022, the programme was recommissioned as ''The Cotswolds and Beyond with Pam Ayres'', as the programme expanded its remit to have Ayres visit the market town of

Pershore Pershore () is a market town and civil parish in the Wychavon district in Worcestershire, England, on the banks of the River Avon, Warwickshire, River Avon. At the 2011 UK census, census, the population was 7,125. The town is best known for Per ...

to meet Toyah Willcox, as well as going to the Henley Regatta with Steve Redgrave, the Dean Forest Railway and the gardens at Highgrove, where she met the then Prince of Wales. She regularly performs her poetry at the

Glastonbury Festival The Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts (commonly referred to as simply Glastonbury Festival, known colloquially as Glasto) is a five-day festival of contemporary performing arts held near Pilton, Somerset, England, in most su ...

, most recently in 2024.

Influence

The poet John Cooper Clarke has cited Ayres's early success on ''Opportunity Knocks'' as being highly influential on his career.

Personal life

Ayres is married to theatre producer Dudley Russell, and they have two sons, William and James. They live in Cirencester, Gloucestershire and keep rare breeds of cattle, as well as sheep, pigs, chickens, and guinea fowl. Ayres is a keen gardener and beekeeper. She is a patron of the British Hen Welfare Trust, Cheltenham Animal Shelter and Oak and Furrows Wildlife Rescue Centre. Ayres was the guest on

's '' Desert Island Discs'' in 1979 and again in 2018. On the first occasion, she chose "The New St George" by John and Chris Leslie, '' The Day of the Jackal'' by

Frederick Forsyth Frederick McCarthy Forsyth ( ; 25 August 1938 – 9 June 2025) was an English novelist and journalist. He was best known for thrillers such as ''The Day of the Jackal'', ''The Odessa File'', ''The Fourth Protocol'', ''The Dogs of War (novel), ...

, and a large basket of sugared almonds as her favourite song, book and luxury item respectively; on her second appearance she chose The Fureys' " When You Were Sweet Sixteen", ''The Oxford Book of Humorous Prose: From William Caxton to P.G.Wodehouse'' by Frank Muir, and a medicine cabinet including mosquito repellent. In the 2004 Birthday Honours, Ayres was appointed a

Member of the Order of the British Empire The Most Excellent Order of the British Empire is a British order of chivalry, rewarding valuable service in a wide range of useful activities. It comprises five classes of awards across both civil and military divisions, the most senior two o ...

(MBE) for services to literature and entertainment.United Kingdom list:

Select bibliography and discography

*1976: ''Some of Me Poems''. London: Galaxy Records *1976: ''Some More of Me Poems and Songs''. London: Galaxy Records *1978: ''Thoughts of a Late-Night Knitter''. London: Arrow Books *1978: ''All of Pam's Poetry''; illustrated by Roy Garnham Elmore. London: Hutchinson (including the contents of her first three books) *1985: ''Dear Mum: Poems for Mums and their Babies''. London: Severn House Publishers *1992: ''Pam Ayres: the Works''. London: BBC Books, Sep 1992 *1998: ''With These Hands: a collection''. London: Orion, Feb 1998 *2006: ''Surgically Enhanced''. London: Hodder & Stoughton, Sep 2006 *2013: ''You Made me Late Again!''. London: Ebury Press, Sep 2013 *2019: ''Up in the Attic''. London: Ebury Publishing, Oct 2019 *2022: ''Who Are You Calling Vermin?''. London: Ebury Spotlight, Sept 2022 Audio CDs *2005: ''Ayres on the Air''. BBC Audio, highlights from BBC Radio 4 series *2006: ''Pam Ayres: Ancient and Modern''. London: Hodder & Stoughton, Nov 2006 DVDs * 2006: ''Pam Ayres: In Her Own Words'' (Acorn Media, March 2006); recorded live at The Everyman Theatre,

Cheltenham Cheltenham () is a historic spa town and borough adjacent to the Cotswolds in Gloucestershire, England. Cheltenham became known as a health and holiday spa town resort following the discovery of mineral springs in 1716, and claims to be the mo ...

in September 2005 * 2011: ''Pam Ayres, Word Perfect: Live from the Theatre Royal Windsor'' (Acorn Media, September 2011) Autobiography * 2011: ''The Necessary Aptitude: A Memoir''. Ebury Press, September 2011

References

External links

*
The Wonderbra Song
- an example of Ayres's poetry

(Note: this page has an embedded music file). * {{DEFAULTSORT:Ayres, Pam 1947 births Living people 20th-century English poets 21st-century English memoirists 20th-century English women writers 21st-century English women writers British humorous poets English radio personalities English women poets English voice actresses English television actresses Members of the Order of the British Empire People from Vale of White Horse (district) English beekeepers BBC Radio 2 presenters Women's Royal Air Force airwomen Actresses from Berkshire British women memoirists English women non-fiction writers English spoken word artists British women humorists British women radio presenters English comedy writers Women beekeepers 20th-century British women farmers English women comedians Comedians from Berkshire English women farmers 21st-century British women farmers