''Motsoalle'' is the term for socially acceptable, long-term relationships between

Basotho The Sotho (), also known as the Basotho (), are a Sotho-Tswana ethnic group indigenous to Southern Africa. They primarily inhabit the regions of Lesotho, South Africa, Botswana and Namibia. The ancestors of the Sotho people are believed to h ...

women in

Lesotho Lesotho, formally the Kingdom of Lesotho and formerly known as Basutoland, is a landlocked country in Southern Africa. Entirely surrounded by South Africa, it is the largest of only three sovereign enclave and exclave, enclaves in the world, t ...

. ''Motsoalle'' can be translated from

Sesotho Sotho (), also known as ''Sesotho'' (), Southern Sotho, or ''Sesotho sa Borwa'' is a Southern Bantu languages, Southern Bantu language spoken in Lesotho as its national language and South Africa where it is an official language. Like all Ba ...

loosely as "a very special friend." The word, ''motsoalle,'' is used to describe the other woman, as in "she is my ''motsoalle'';" and ''a'' motsoalle ''relationship'' describes the bond between the two women. ''Motsoalle'' relationships are socially sanctioned and have often been celebrated by the people of Lesotho. These women's relationships usually occur alongside otherwise conventional

heterosexual Heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior between people of the opposite sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, heterosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions ...

marriages and may involve various levels of physical intimacy between the female partners. ''Motsoalle'' relationships have, over time, begun to disappear in Lesotho.

About

''Motsoalle'' relationships can first be formed between women during

adolescence Adolescence () is a transitional stage of human Developmental biology, physical and psychological Human development (biology), development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age o ...

. The word ''motsoalle'' means "special friend." Often, a ''motsoalle'' relationship was acknowledged publicly with a ritual feast and with the community fully aware of the women's commitment to one another. One anecdote about a ''motsoalle'' relationship describes how one woman, Mpho 'M'atsepho Nthunya, and her husband threw a party in the 1950s to celebrate her ''motsoalle''. Nthunya's account of her relationship with her partner, Malineo, was described to

anthropologist An anthropologist is a scientist engaged in the practice of anthropology. Anthropologists study aspects of humans within past and present societies. Social anthropology, cultural anthropology and philosophical anthropology study the norms, values ...

K. Limakatso Kendall in a book, '' Singing Away the Hunger: The Autobiography of an African Woman'' (1997). Judith Gay is another anthropologist to document these relationships, and she gives evidence that they were once very common. Jason Sullivan describes a form of ''motsoalle'' relationships among school girls where it functioned like a type of "

puppy love Puppy love, also known as a crush, is an informal term for feelings of romantic love, often felt during childhood and early adolescence. It is an infatuation usually developed by one's looks and attractiveness at first sight. It is named for its r ...

" or mentorship. Other anthropologists who have described ''motsoalle'' relationships include Stephen Murray and Will Roscoe. ''Motsoalle'' relationships differ from a

western Western may refer to: Places *Western, Nebraska, a village in the US *Western, New York, a town in the US *Western Creek, Tasmania, a locality in Australia *Western Junction, Tasmania, a locality in Australia *Western world, countries that id ...

perspective of

queer ''Queer'' is an umbrella term for people who are non-heterosexual or non- cisgender. Originally meaning or , ''queer'' came to be used pejoratively against LGBTQ people in the late 19th century. From the late 1980s, queer activists began to ...

lesbian A lesbian is a homosexual woman or girl. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexu ...

relationships. Women in ''motsoalle'' relationships "marry men and conform, or appear to conform, to gender expectations." Women in these relationships do not have a different

social identity Identity is the set of qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, or expressions that characterize a person or a group. Identity emerges during childhood as children start to comprehend their self-concept, and it remains a consistent ...

even though they are in a committed relationship with another woman. Women in ''motsoalle'' relationships also differ from western ideas of heterosexual female friends. Researcher, William J. Spurlin, stresses that "it is important not to simply translate into English 'M'atsepo Nthunya's use of the Sesotho word ''motsoalle'' ..as ''lesbian''." Nevertheless, Spurlin does state that "it might be possible to place ''motsoalle'' relationships on the lesbian continuum to discuss, debate, and imagine them theoretically as possible sites of lesbian existence, given the close emotional and intimate bonds between the women, but with the stipulation that the relationships not be reduced to western understandings of 'lesbian.'" Part of the difference between a ''motsoalle'' relationship and a lesbian one is due to the Sesotho notion of sex. Many

of older generations in Lesotho did not consider an act a sex act if one partner was not male. Therefore, anything women did together was not considered sex, even if it involved erotic components. Because of the social situation in rural Lesotho and the lack of a concept of lesbianism, ''motsoalle'' relationships were once widespread, but not seen as an "alternative to heterosexual marriage." Nthunya described it like this: "When a woman loves another woman, you see, she can love her with a whole heart." As Lesotho became more modernized, those communities exposed to western culture were also more likely to become exposed to

homophobia Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who identify or are perceived as being lesbian, Gay men, gay or bisexual. It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, hatred, or ant ...

. Kendall hypothesizes that as Western ideas spread, the idea that women could be sexual with one another, coupled with homophobia, began to erase the ''motsoalle'' relationships. By the 1980s, the ritual feasts that were once celebrated by the community for ''motsoalles'' had vanished. Today, ''motsoalle'' relationships have largely disappeared.

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External links

*
Singing Away the Hunger: The Autobiography of an African Woman
' by Mpho 'M'atsepo Nthunya and edited by K. Limakatso Kendall {{Authority control Culture of Lesotho LGBTQ in Lesotho Interpersonal relationships Interpersonal attraction Women in society Lesbian history Lesbian culture in Africa