Moose Murders
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''Moose Murders'' is a
play Play most commonly refers to: * Play (activity), an activity done for enjoyment * Play (theatre), a work of drama Play may refer also to: Computers and technology * Google Play, a digital content service * Play Framework, a Java framework * P ...
by Arthur Bicknell, self-described as a mystery
farce Farce is a comedy that seeks to entertain an audience through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant, ridiculous, absurd, and improbable. Farce is also characterized by heavy use of physical comedy, physical humor; the use of delibe ...
. A notorious flop, it is now widely considered the standard of awfulness against which all
Broadway Broadway may refer to: Theatre * Broadway Theatre (disambiguation) * Broadway theatre, theatrical productions in professional theatres near Broadway, Manhattan, New York City, U.S. ** Broadway (Manhattan), the street ** Broadway Theatre (53rd Stre ...
failures are judged, and its name has become synonymous with those distinctively bad Broadway plays that open and close on the same night. It had its single performance (excluding its 13 previews) at the
Eugene O'Neill Theatre The Eugene O'Neill Theatre, previously the Forrest Theatre and the Coronet Theatre, is a Broadway theater at 230 West 49th Street in the Theater District of Midtown Manhattan in New York City, New York, U.S. The theater was designed by Her ...
on February 22, 1983.


Plot

The Holloway family arrives at the "Wild Moose Lodge", which they have recently purchased, in the
Adirondack Mountains The Adirondack Mountains ( ) are a massif of mountains in Northeastern New York which form a circular dome approximately wide and covering about . The region contains more than 100 peaks, including Mount Marcy, which is the highest point in Ne ...
, and they become trapped due to a storm. They pass the time playing a
murder mystery game A murder mystery game is a type of party game in which players investigate and solve fictitious murders. In many variations, a player secretly plays as a murderer while the others attempt to determine the murderer's identity. These games typica ...
along with other people at the lodge: failed entertainers Snooks & Howie, and Nurse Dagmar who cares for patriarch Sidney Holloway. During the night, one Holloway son attempts
incest Incest ( ) is sexual intercourse, sex between kinship, close relatives, for example a brother, sister, or parent. This typically includes sexual activity between people in consanguinity (blood relations), and sometimes those related by lineag ...
with his mother. Several murders take place. According to reviewers, a mummified paraplegic (most likely Sidney) rises from his wheelchair to kick a man dressed as a moose in the crotch. However, this scene does not appear in the original script.


Original production

The original Broadway production at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre was marred by problems even before it opened.
Eve Arden Eve Arden (born Eunice Mary Quedens, April 30, 1908 – November 12, 1990) was an American film, radio, stage and television actress. She performed in leading and supporting roles for nearly six decades. Beginning her film career in 1929 an ...
in the lead role was seeking a return to Broadway after 40 years, but dropped out after the second preview. This was said to be due to "artistic differences"—but another source has suggested that it was because she could not remember her lines. She was replaced by
Holland Taylor Holland Taylor (born January 14, 1943) is an American actress. She won the 1999 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for her role as Judge Roberta Kittleson on ABC's ''The Practice'' (1998–2003) and she ...
. The complete cast was as follows: *Snooks Keene – June Gable *Howie Keene – Don Potter *Joe Buffalo Dance – Jack Dabdoub *Nurse Dagmar – Lisa McMillan *Hedda Holloway –
Holland Taylor Holland Taylor (born January 14, 1943) is an American actress. She won the 1999 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for her role as Judge Roberta Kittleson on ABC's ''The Practice'' (1998–2003) and she ...
*Stinky Holloway – Scott Evans *Gay Holloway – Mara Hobel *Lauraine Holloway Fay – Lillie Robertson *Nelson Fay – Nicholas Hormann *Sidney Holloway – Dennis Florzak The production was directed by John Roach.


Reception

''Moose Murders'' is legendary among flops on Broadway. ''
The New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' theater critic
Frank Rich Frank Hart Rich Jr. (born June 2, 1949) is an American essayist and liberal op-ed columnist, who held various positions within ''The New York Times'' from 1980 to 2011. He has also produced television series and documentaries for HBO. Rich is ...
commented in his review of the play that there would now "always be two groups of theatergoers in this world: those who have seen ''Moose Murders,'' and those who have not ... A visit to ''Moose Murders'' is what will separate the connoisseurs of Broadway disaster from mere dilettantes for many moons to come." He later described it as "the worst play I've ever seen on a Broadway stage". Rich's original review stated that "Even Act One of ''Moose Murders'' is inadequate preparation for Act Two," and that "I won't soon forget the spectacle of watching the mummified Sidney rise from his wheelchair to kick an intruder, unaccountably dressed in a moose costume, in the groin." In an end-of-season review, he described ''Moose Murders'' as "the season's most stupefying flop—a show so preposterous that it made minor celebrities out of everyone who witnessed it, whether from on stage or in the audience." ''
The New Yorker ''The New Yorker'' is an American magazine featuring journalism, commentary, criticism, essays, fiction, satire, cartoons, and poetry. It was founded on February 21, 1925, by Harold Ross and his wife Jane Grant, a reporter for ''The New York T ...
'' art critic
Brendan Gill Brendan Gill (October 4, 1914 – December 27, 1997) was an American journalist. He wrote for ''The New Yorker'' for more than 60 years. Gill also contributed film criticism for ''Film Comment'', wrote about design and architecture for Architectu ...
said the play "would insult the intelligence of an audience consisting entirely of amoebas". Critic John Simon wrote in a review of the play, "Selective patrons cannot even imagine what horrors reviewers are exposed to, night after nightmarish night."
Associated Press The Associated Press (AP) is an American not-for-profit organization, not-for-profit news agency headquartered in New York City. Founded in 1846, it operates as a cooperative, unincorporated association, and produces news reports that are dist ...
drama critic Jay Sharbutt described the play as comprising "a lot of labored skulduggery, frantic slapstick, dashes upstairs, downstairs and sideways, assorted gunshots and half the population of this caper dispatched to a better world, if not better play" and declined to identify the cast "pending notification of ext ofkin". Douglas Watt of the New York ''Daily News'' called it an "incredibly sappy murder mystery farce" that shouldn't happen to a moose and said that he had forgotten how it ended, while the ''
New York Post The ''New York Post'' (''NY Post'') is an American Conservatism in the United States, conservative daily Tabloid (newspaper format), tabloid newspaper published in New York City. The ''Post'' also operates three online sites: NYPost. ...
''s Clive Barnes said that it was "so indescribably bad that I do not intend to waste anyone's time by describing it." He commended Eve Arden for leaving it before it opened and commented, "Some people have all the luck." Arthur Bicknell has also said that a member of the public, on spotting him in the street, shouted 'Officer, arrest that show!' ''Moose Murders'' became a touchstone of reference to be used in other reviews; a 1998 review of the television sitcom ''
Encore! Encore! ''Encore! Encore!'' is an American sitcom television series created by David Angell, Peter Casey, David Lee, Chuck Ranberg and Anne Flett-Giordano, starring Nathan Lane as an opera singer. On the verge of becoming " The Fourth Tenor", Lan ...
'' described the show as "the 'Moose Murders' of sitcoms—it won't be here past Halloween, but the recollection of its awfulness will give you untold delight for years to come." A 1995 production of the play ''Dracula'' in
Philadelphia Philadelphia ( ), colloquially referred to as Philly, is the List of municipalities in Pennsylvania, most populous city in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania and the List of United States cities by population, sixth-most populous city in the Unit ...
has been described as having "taken on legendary-turkey status mong Philadelphia criticson a par with ''Moose Murders''". Frank Rich himself later wrote in ''The New York Times'' (reviewing the 1988 version of '' Carrie''), "Only the absence of antlers separates the pig murders of ''Carrie'' from the ''Moose Murders'' of Broadway lore." In the 2014 Broadway revival of
Terrence McNally Terrence McNally (November 3, 1938 – March 24, 2020) was an American playwright, librettist, and screenwriter. Described as "the bard of American theater" and "one of the greatest contemporary playwrights the theater world has yet produced," M ...
's ''
It's Only a Play ''It's Only a Play'' is a play by Terrence McNally. The play originally opened off-off-Broadway in 1982. It was revived off-Broadway in 1986, and on Broadway in 2014. The plot concerns a party where a producer, playwright, director, actors and ...
'', the ''Moose Murders failure is inevitably brought up during the post-premiere hand-wringing.


Revivals

Despite (or perhaps because of) the play's reputation, it has occasionally been revived. Numerous
community theatre Community theatre refers to any Theatre, theatrical performance made in relation to particular Community, communities—its usage includes theatre made by, with, and for a community. It may refer to a production that is made entirely by a communit ...
groups have staged it and, in 2008, John Borek, a Rochester "part-time conceptual artist", began holding staged readings of the play, hoping that it will find a new life "as a work of art". Borek's production led to articles in major newspapers such as ''
The New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' and Spain's ''
El País (; ) is a Spanish-language daily newspaper in Spain. is based in the capital city of Madrid and it is owned by the Spanish media conglomerate PRISA. It is the second-most circulated daily newspaper in Spain . is the most read newspaper in ...
.'' (Full translation availabl
here
)
Borek's group staged another reading in 2010, and also staged readings of an earlier Bicknell play called ''My Great Dead Sister'' (which Bicknell said had received "good reviews") as well as a new play, ''What Is Art?'', that Bicknell wrote for Borek. New York City's Beautiful Soup Theater Collective revived the play in January 2013 for a two-week run at the Connelly Theatre. The production was directed by Steven Carl McCasland.


See also

* List of the shortest-running Broadway shows


References


External links


John W. Borek's ''Moose Murders'' website
* {{IBDB show 1983 plays Broadway plays Plays set in New York (state)