A homewrecker (sometimes styled as home wrecker or home-wrecker) is a person, object or activity that causes or comes close to causing the breakup of a
marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and b ...
(or similar partnership). The homewrecker is said to have taken one of the spouses away from the marriage, thus "wrecking" the marital home.
Most commonly, the label "homewrecker" is applied to a person having an
affair
An affair is a relationship typically between two people, one or both of whom are either married or in a long-term Monogamy, monogamous or emotionally-exclusive relationship with someone else. The affair can be solely sexual, solely physical or ...
with someone else's spouse or
domestic partner
A domestic partnership is an intimate relationship between people, usually couples, who cohabitation, live together and share a common domestic life but who are not marriage, married (to each other or to anyone else). People in domestic partner ...
; it can also refer to other forces that are destructive to a marital relationship and tied only to one party to that relationship.
Infidelity
When "homewrecker" is used to describe a person, it is applied to someone who breaks up a pre-existing relationship by having an affair with one of its partners. It may be applied more often when the person actually intends to cause the break-up in order to replace the prior partner permanently.
Homewrecking is not used exclusively to describe the break-up of marriages; it is also used in connection with other long-term relationships that resemble marriage, especially where there are children or joint property.
Non-affair homewreckers
Less frequently, other intense and/or time-consuming pursuits of a partner lead to broken relationships and are labeled "homewreckers";
alcoholism
Alcoholism is the continued drinking of alcohol despite it causing problems. Some definitions require evidence of dependence and withdrawal. Problematic use of alcohol has been mentioned in the earliest historical records. The World He ...
, for example, has long been identified as a homewrecker.
More common examples are
drug addiction
Addiction is a neuropsychological disorder characterized by a persistent and intense urge to use a drug or engage in a behavior that produces natural reward, despite substantial harm and other negative consequences. Repetitive drug use can ...
,
gambling addiction
Problem gambling, ludopathy, or ludomania is repetitive gambling behavior despite harm and negative consequences. Problem gambling may be diagnosed as a mental disorder according to DSM-5 if certain diagnostic criteria are met. Pathological ga ...
,
domestic violence
Domestic violence is violence that occurs in a domestic setting, such as in a marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes r ...
, e.g.
child abuse
Child abuse (also called child endangerment or child maltreatment) is physical abuse, physical, child sexual abuse, sexual, emotional and/or psychological abuse, psychological maltreatment or Child neglect, neglect of a child, especially by a p ...
and
controlling personality
Personality is any person's collection of interrelated behavioral, cognitive, and emotional patterns that comprise a person’s unique adjustment to life. These interrelated patterns are relatively stable, but can change over long time per ...
.
Other common targets for homewrecker labeling are intense pursuit of a career, devotion to a
hobby
A hobby is considered to be a regular activity that is done for enjoyment, typically during one's leisure time. Hobbies include collecting themed items and objects, engaging in creative and artistic pursuits, playing sports, or pursuing other ...
, or running a business.
[ The time commitment to these and similar activities can rend normal home life asunder and earn the name "homewrecker".
Immersive Internet-based social applications and ]pornography
Pornography (colloquially called porn or porno) is Sexual suggestiveness, sexually suggestive material, such as a picture, video, text, or audio, intended for sexual arousal. Made for consumption by adults, pornographic depictions have evolv ...
are also becoming more commonly labelled as homewreckers, especially when they share the social and sexual aspects of having an affair.
Family members can act as homewreckers by alienating one partner, identifying weaknesses in one partner, and/or exacerbating minor disagreements into major issues.
Disputed labeling
Usage is disputed for precarious relationships prior to the affair. For example, in a faltering marriage, an estranged husband may have an affair, and the wife may blame the alleged homewrecker for the breakup of the marriage, even though the affair itself was partly the result of stresses that pre-dated it. Nevertheless, even in such cases, the affair can be a major impetus in making the relationship unsalvageable.[
Others suggest that affairs should never create an impression of homewrecking since it is unhealthy relationships that lead to affairs and that any fault for an affair should be laid more at the feet of the ]cheating
Cheating generally describes various actions designed to subvert or disobey rules in order to obtain unfair advantages without being noticed. This includes acts of bribery, cronyism and nepotism in any situation where individuals are given pr ...
partner than at the third party.
Other uses
Cocktails
There are several different cocktail
A cocktail is a mixed drink, usually alcoholic beverage, alcoholic. Most commonly, a cocktail is a combination of one or more liquor, spirits mixed with other ingredients, such as juices, flavored syrups, tonic water, Shrub (drink), shrubs, and ...
s called "Homewrecker." As with many named alcoholic drinks, there is an element of hyperbole in this name; it may relate to the common application of term to alcoholism as a marriage stressor, as described above.
References
{{Reflist , 35em
, refs=
[{{cite journal, last=Hupka, first=Ralph B., author2=Bram Buunk , author3=Gábor Falus , author4=Ante Fulgosi , author5=Elsa Ortega , author6=Ronny Swain , author7=Nadia Tarabrina , title=Romantic Jealousy and Romantic Envy: A Seven-Nation Study, journal=Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, year=1985, volume=16, doi=10.1177/0022002185016004002 , pages=423–446, s2cid=145376600]
[{{cite journal, last=Towns, first=Charles B., title=Drug Addictions and Alcoholism, journal=Medical Review of Reviews, year=1916, volume=22, page=523]
[{{cite web, last=Forleo, first=Marie, title=Is Your Business a Homewrecker? Three Steps To Save Your Marriagex, url=http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/07/homewrecker-business/, access-date=18 August 2013]
Love
Mating
Divorce
Marital problems
Casual sex
Extramarital relationships
Intimate relationships