Grey Divorce
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Grey divorce or late-life divorce is the demographic trend of an increasing divorce rate for older ("grey-haired") couples in long-lasting marriages, a term typically used for people over 50. Those who divorce may be called silver splitters. Divorcing late in life can cause financial difficulties.


Society-wide effects

Couples who divorce late in life affect the housing market. Whereas before the divorce, two older people may live in a single-family home, after the divorce, it is typical for at least one of them to live alone during the first few years after the divorce. Although some silver splitters will move in with adult children, a romantic partner, or a
roommate A roommate is a person with whom one shares a living facility such as a room or dormitory ''except'' when being family or romantically involved. Similar terms include dorm-mate, suite-mate, housemate, or flatmate ("flat": the usual term in Brit ...
, most do not remarry. Exchanging one married couple sharing a home for two single people living apart increases the
demand In economics, demand is the quantity of a goods, good that consumers are willing and able to purchase at various prices during a given time. In economics "demand" for a commodity is not the same thing as "desire" for it. It refers to both the desi ...
for smaller and less expensive housing options, such as one-bedroom apartments. Many older single people need to find not only a home to live in, but a home that is affordable, will be safe and accessible as they age, and is near healthcare, transportation, and other needed services. Living together as a married couple also provided both people in the marriage with some level of live-in mutual assistance. After the divorce, especially if they are living alone, they may not have access to assistance with household or financial tasks, with
driving Driving is the controlled operation and movement of a land vehicle, including cars, motorcycles, trucks, and buses. A driver's permission to drive on public highways is granted based on a set of conditions being met, and drivers are required to ...
, or with
activities of daily living Activities of daily living (ADLs) is a term used in healthcare to refer to an individual's daily self-care activities. Health professionals often use a person's ability or inability to perform ADLs as a measure of their Performance status, functi ...
when they are sick or if they become disabled. This increases the demand from aging people for
social services Social services are a range of public services intended to provide support and assistance towards particular groups, which commonly include the disadvantaged. Also available amachine-converted HTML They may be provided by individuals, private and i ...
, such as
public transportation Public transport (also known as public transit, mass transit, or simply transit) are forms of transport available to the general public. It typically uses a fixed schedule, route and charges a fixed fare. There is no rigid definition of whi ...
, professional
caregiving A caregiver, carer or support worker is a paid or unpaid person who helps an individual with activities of daily living. Caregivers who are members of a care recipient's family or social network, who may have specific professional training, are o ...
, and subsidized or
affordable housing Affordable housing is housing which is deemed affordable to those with a household income at or below the median, as rated by the national government or a local government by a recognized housing affordability index. Most of the literature on ...
. Grey divorces tend to be financially harmful to the individuals. In addition to higher expenses (e.g., to maintain two homes instead of one shared home), the assets previously shared by the couple are divided. Many are either retired or close to retirement, so they have fewer opportunities to earn or save more money than a person who divorced at a younger age. Any retirement savings that survive the divorce have little time to grow again. They are also at risk of becoming socially isolated and lonely. Many people enjoy the autonomy of living alone, but loneliness can become a problem, especially as they age, or if they are kinless. The rising number of elderly people living alone has encouraged research into automated assistance tools and robots that can provide friendly
companionship In social psychology, an interpersonal relation (or interpersonal relationship) describes a social association, connection, or affiliation between two or more people. It overlaps significantly with the concept of social relations, which are ...
, especially in Japan.


In the United States

Grey divorce was documented in the United States as early as the 1980s, but wasn't labeled as such until around 2004. The phenomenon entered the public awareness with a 2004
AARP AARP, formerly the American Association of Retired Persons, is an interest group in the United States focusing on issues affecting those 50 and older. The organization, which is headquartered in Washington, D.C., said it had more than 38  ...
study and was further elucidated in Deirdre Bair's 2007 book ''Calling It Quits'', which contained interviews with grey divorcees. Former American vice-presidential couple Tipper and
Al Gore Albert Arnold Gore Jr. (born March 31, 1948) is an American former politician, businessman, and environmentalist who served as the 45th vice president of the United States from 1993 to 2001 under President Bill Clinton. He previously served as ...
separated after over 40 years of marriage; research and writing duo
Masters and Johnson The Masters and Johnson research team, composed of William H. Masters (1915–2001) and Virginia E. Johnson (1925–2013), pioneered research into the nature of human sexual response and the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders and dys ...
divorced in 1993 after over 20 years of marriage; music duo
Captain & Tennille Captain & Tennille were an American recording duo whose primary success occurred in the 1970s. The husband-and-wife team were "Captain" Daryl Dragon (1942–2019) and Toni Tennille (born 1940). They have five albums certified gold or platinum a ...
divorced in 2014 after 39 years of marriage; and the world's fourth-richest man,
Bill Gates William Henry Gates III (born October 28, 1955) is an American businessman and philanthropist. A pioneer of the microcomputer revolution of the 1970s and 1980s, he co-founded the software company Microsoft in 1975 with his childhood friend ...
, and his wife
Melinda French Gates Melinda French Gates (born Melinda Ann French; August 15, 1964) is an American philanthropist. Born and raised in Dallas, Texas, she was educated at Ursuline Academy of Dallas, Duke University, and Duke's Fuqua School of Business. Shortly afte ...
, were married for 27 years and divorced in May 2021. , in the US, about one-third of divorces involve people over the age of 50. The divorce rate for people over the age of 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010. By 2013, the number of divorcees over the age of 50 exceeded the number of widowed people (these numbers include people who divorced or survived the death of their spouses at any age). Silver splitters have less than a 50% chance of remarrying; about one in five women will remarry, and about two out of five men. Possible causes for a higher rate of divorce among older people include the increase in human longevity, the cultural values of
Baby Boomers Baby boomers, often shortened to boomers, are the demographic cohort preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. The generation is often defined as people born from 1946 to 1964 during the mid-20th century baby boom that ...
, and women's increasing financial independence as potential causes. Women are somewhat more likely to initiate divorce proceedings, and they benefit emotionally far more than financially. Financial challenges include identifying and fairly dividing
retirement Retirement is the withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from one's active working life. A person may also semi-retire by reducing work hours or workload. Many people choose to retire when they are elderly or incapable of doing their j ...
savings, navigating the process of getting qualified domestic relations orders for any
defined benefit pension plans Defined benefit (DB) pension plan is a type of pension plan in which an employer/sponsor promises a specified pension payment, lump-sum, or combination thereof on retirement that depends on an employee's earnings history, tenure of service and a ...
, and agreeing on any temporary
alimony Alimony, also called aliment (Scotland), maintenance (England, Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, Wales, Canada, New Zealand), spousal support (U.S., Canada) and spouse maintenance (Australia), is a legal obligation on a person to provide ...
payments.
Social Security Welfare spending is a type of government support intended to ensure that members of a society can meet basic human needs such as food and shelter. Social security may either be synonymous with welfare, or refer specifically to social insurance ...
benefits, assuming the marriage lasted at least 10 years, are relatively standardized for divorcing couples. These financial challenges, on average, disproportionately harm women. Their
standard of living Standard of living is the level of income, comforts and services available to an individual, community or society. A contributing factor to an individual's quality of life, standard of living is generally concerned with objective metrics outsid ...
nearly halves, while men's declines by about 20%.


In Japan

The divorce rate among older
Japan Japan is an island country in East Asia. Located in the Pacific Ocean off the northeast coast of the Asia, Asian mainland, it is bordered on the west by the Sea of Japan and extends from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north to the East China Sea ...
ese couples has soared as the
baby boomer Baby boomers, often shortened to boomers, are the demographic cohort preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. The generation is often defined as people born from 1946 to 1964 during the mid-20th century baby boom that ...
cohort have retired and the general population has aged. The number of divorces among couples married for 20 years or more hit 42,000 in 2004, double those recorded in 1985. Divorces among those married for more than 30 years quadrupled during the same period. The 2022 statistics showed that 23.5% of divorces in Japan were after at least two decades of marriage, the highest rate since records began in 1947. Stress felt by an older Japanese married woman is referred to as . While devoting years to his career in a workaholic lifestyle, a Japanese husband may rarely see his family, and as a result, a husband and wife may not interact extensively. When the husband retires, both can feel they are living with a virtual stranger. This can cause particular stress for the wife who is expected to attend to her husband's every need. The stress of change in lifestyle brings a number of problems, including feelings of resentment towards husbands.


In the United Kingdom

Older couples are responsible for the overall increase in the divorce rate in the United Kingdom in the twenty-first century. In England and Wales in 2021, one in four divorces occurred after the age of 50. Between 2005 and 2015, the number of men divorcing aged 65+ went up by 23% and the number of women aged 65+ divorcing increased by 38%.


See also

*
Baby Boom Generation Baby boomers, often shortened to boomers, are the demographic cohort preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. The generation is often defined as people born from 1946 to 1964 during the mid-20th century baby boom that ...
*
Mid-life crisis A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45 to 65 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person's grow ...


References

{{reflist, 35em Divorce Old age