''Gonks Go Beat'' is a 1964 British science fiction/musical fantasy film, directed by

Robert Hartford-Davis Robert Hartford-Davis (born William Henry Davis, 23 July 1923 – 12 June 1977) was a British born producer, director and writer, who worked on film and television in both in the United Kingdom and United States. He is also sometimes credited as ...

. It stars Kenneth Connor and

Frank Thornton Frank Thornton Ball (15 January 192116 March 2013), professionally known as Frank Thornton, was an English actor. He was known for playing Captain Peacock in '' Are You Being Served?'' and its sequel '' Grace & Favour'' (''Are You Being Serve ...

. ''Gonks Go Beat'' is loosely based on the ''

Romeo and Juliet ''Romeo and Juliet'' is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare early in his career about the romance between two Italian youths from feuding families. It was among Shakespeare's most popular plays during his lifetime and, along with ''Ham ...

'' storyline and features 16 musical numbers performed by a variety of artists, including

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and

the Luvvers The Luvvers was a Scottish rock group. They are best known as the backing group to Lulu on her debut chart single, " Shout" (1964). They subsequently had a low-key career of their own before disbanding in March 1966. Career Before they changed t ...

, The Nashville Teens and members of the Graham Bond Organisation including

Ginger Baker Peter Edward "Ginger" Baker (19 August 1939 – 6 October 2019) was an English drummer. His work in the 1960s and 1970s earned him the reputation of "rock's first superstar drummer", for a style that melded jazz and African rhythms and pio ...

Jack Bruce John Symon Asher Bruce (14 May 1943 – 25 October 2014) was a Scottish bassist, singer-songwriter, musician and composer. He gained popularity as the primary lead vocalist and ‍bassist ‍of British rock band Cream. After the group disban ...

and Dick Heckstall-Smith. Other musical contributors were – and remained – obscure. The film includes an early appearance by the actor Derek Thompson performing with his twin sister Elaine (credited as Elain). The title highlights the fad for gonk toys in mid 1960s Great Britain. The gonks appear in the opening title credits, whilst Lulu sings the theme song 'Chocolate Ice'.

Plot

At a point in the distant future, the inhabitants of Planet Earth have become divided into two factions who despise each other. In Beatland live the hip and trendy people who have long hair, dress in polo neck jumpers, jeans and sunglasses and listen to cool beat music. Their counterparts on Ballad Isle keep their hair short and tidy, wear button-down shirts and pressed slacks or floral dresses and twinsets, and listen exclusively to crooners. A musical competition is staged annually between the two sides, overseen by the neutral and powerful record company executive Mr. A&R (Thornton). For the rest of the year they regard each other with suspicion and antipathy, although they are not above sneaking into each other's territory to steal musical ideas. Meanwhile, the overlords of a far-flung galaxy have been observing the squabblings and goings-on on Planet Earth with increasing exasperation. Finally, their patience with the earthlings is pushed beyond its limit and they decide to send their bungling representative Wilco Roger (Connor) to sort the situation out and bring about a reconciliation between the parties, with the warning that if he fails he'll be exiled to Planet Gonk, a fearsome and dreaded place where spherical furry soft toys shuffle around all day listening to Dixieland jazz. On arrival, Wilco Roger makes contact with Mr. A&R. They're aware of a forbidden romance between a Beatland boy and a Ballad Isle girl, and use a combination of Mr. A&R's cunning and Wilco Roger's mystical powers to enable the couple to get together without fear and come up with a musical composition which will be acceptable to both sides. The time for the annual competition comes around, and the inhabitants are appalled when the Beatland boy and the Ballad Isle girl take to the stage together. But their song "Takes Two to Make Love" turns out to be the hit of the night, loved by both sides of the musical divide. Mr. A&R declares it the unquestioned winner and orders an end to the silliness as it has now been proved that everyone can live together and learn to appreciate all types of music.

Reputation

''Gonks Go Beat'' was widely ridiculed on its original release as being so ill-advised and botched in execution as to have no appeal to any cinema audience demographic, whether of the younger or older generation. British film historian I.Q. Hunter included ''Gonks Go Beat'' in his list of contenders for "the worst British film ever made". The film was released on DVD in the UK in 2007 by Optimum Home Entertainment, who tipped the wink to its intended audience by describing it as "the ''

Plan 9 from Outer Space ''Plan 9 from Outer Space'' is a 1957 American independent science fiction-horror film produced, written, directed, and edited by Ed Wood. The film was shot in black-and-white in November 1956 and had a theatrical preview screening on March 1 ...

'' of film musicals", a description originally coined by the UK film critic

Mark Kermode Mark James Patrick Kermode (, ; ; born 2 July 1963) is an English film critic, musician, radio presenter, television presenter and podcaster. He is the chief film critic for ''The Observer'', contributes to the magazine ''Sight & Sound'', pre ...

Cast

* Kenneth Connor as Wilco Roger *

as Mr. A&R * Barbara Brown as Helen * Iain Gregory as Steve * Terry Scott as PM * Reginald Beckwith as Professor * Gary Cockrell as Committee Man * Jerry Desmonde as Great Galaxian *

Arthur Mullard Arthur Ernest Mullard ( né Mullord; 19 September 1910His obituary in ''The Times'' gives his date of birth as 10 November 1910 but conflicts with the birthdate given in his death registration. His year of birth appears as 1908, 1910, 1912 and ...

as Drum Master * Pamela Donald as Tutor * Gillian French as Beatland Prime Minister * Carlotta Barrow as Beat Girl * Ann Chapman as Beat Girl * Jo Cook as Beat Girl * Babs Lord as Beat Girl * Sarah Martin as Beat Girl * Lyn Symonds as Beat Girl *

and

as Themselves * The Nashville Teens as Themselves * The Vacqueros as Themselves * The Trolls as Themselves * The Long and the Short as Themselves * Ray Lewis and the Trekker as Themselves *

as Himself *

as Himself * Graham Bond as Himself * Dick Heckstall-Smith as Himself * John McLaughlin as Himself * Andy White as Himself * Derek Thompson as Singer * Elain Thompson as Singer * Alan David as Singer

Reception

* In ''The Spinning Image'' Graeme Clark wrote, "time has been kinder to its daft novelty than a few of its peers, although that doesn't mean it's any good, it has just grown quainter with age." * ''

TV Guide TV Guide is an American digital media company that provides television program TV listings, listings information as well as entertainment and television-related news. The company sold its print magazine division, TV Guide Magazine, TV Guide Mag ...

'' gave the film one and a half stars and wrote, "only fans of obscure mod bands will enjoy this teen exploitation item." * "Cinedelica" wrote, "a fairly enjoyable, if very dated, slice of period silliness."

References

External links

* *
''Gonks Go Beat''
at BFI Film & TV Database {{Romeo and Juliet film adaptations 1965 films British comedy films British musical films British science fiction films Fantasy music Science fiction musical films 1960s musical films Films directed by Robert Hartford-Davis Films based on Romeo and Juliet 1960s English-language films 1960s British films