Friendsgiving
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Friendsgiving is a
Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is a national holiday celebrated on various dates in October and November in the United States, Canada, Saint Lucia, Liberia, and unofficially in countries like Brazil and Germany. It is also observed in the Australian territory ...
-themed feast meal eaten with friends typically prior to or instead of a family
Thanksgiving dinner The centerpiece of contemporary Thanksgiving in the United States and Canada is Thanksgiving dinner, a large meal generally centered on a large roasted turkey. Thanksgiving is the largest eating event in the United States as measured by retail ...
in the United States. The meal began as an additional holiday or as an alternative to the traditional family Thanksgiving gathering for people, typically young adults, who could not or did not want to go home for the holiday. For some celebrants, Friendsgiving has evolved from a pre-Thanksgiving gathering to replace traditional Thanksgiving entirely, but most celebrate it as a second and separate event during the Thanksgiving season. While the term was first used online in 2007, the concept of Thanksgiving celebrated with friends as an alternative to celebrating with family is an older concept that dates back decades.


Description

Friendsgiving is a large meal eaten with friends on or near Thanksgiving. The meal itself is often produced
potluck A potluck is a communal gathering where each guest or group contributes a different, often homemade, dish of food to be shared. Other names for a "potluck" include: potluck dinner, pitch-in, shared lunch, spread, faith supper, carry-in dinner, c ...
-style, with each participant bringing items. Those celebrated on Thanksgiving Day generally replicate a Thanksgiving dinner, while those that are additional gatherings may or may not. Some people use Friendsgiving to test out new Thanksgiving recipes. Participants are generally close friends who live in the same area; when produced on
Thanksgiving Day Thanksgiving is a national holiday celebrated on various dates in October and November in the United States, Canada, Saint Lucia, Liberia, and unofficially in countries like Brazil and Germany. It is also observed in the Australian territory ...
the meal is most common in places with many transplants for whom traveling home for the holiday is logistically or emotionally difficult. Articles in 2018 described the event as particularly popular in urban areas and among millennials, though participation has broadened. It is popular in the LGBTQ+ community, many members of which have strained relationships with their biological families. The meal is also often celebrated among groups of coworkers as a potluck holiday party.


History

''
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving ''A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving'' is the tenth prime-time animated television special based upon the comic strip ''Peanuts,'' by Charles M. Schulz. It originally aired on the CBS network on November 20, 1973, and won an Emmy Award the following ...
'', released in 1973, centers around a Thanksgiving meal among friends that closely resembles what would become Friendsgiving, with ''
Woman's World ''Woman's World'' is an American supermarket weekly magazine with a circulation of 1.6 million readers. Printed on paper generally associated with tabloid publications and priced accordingly, it concentrates on short articles about subjects suc ...
'' commenting in 2022 that the special portrayed "perhaps an early example of Friendsgiving."
Alice Brock Alice May Brock (February 28, 1941 – November 21, 2024) was an American artist, author and restaurateur. A resident of Massachusetts for her entire adult life, Brock owned and operated three restaurants in the Berkshires—The Back Room, Tak ...
and her husband Ray were known for hosting Thanksgiving dinners for their friends in the mid-1960s; many of those who attended the dinners were estranged from their families. These dinners partially inspired the song "
Alice's Restaurant "Alice's Restaurant Massacree", commonly known as "Alice's Restaurant", is a satirical talking blues song by singer-songwriter Arlo Guthrie, released as the title track to his 1967 debut album Alice's Restaurant (album), ''Alice's Restaurant''. ...
," a song that itself became a Thanksgiving tradition;
Arlo Guthrie Arlo Davy Guthrie (born July 10, 1947) is an American folk music, folk singer-songwriter. He is known for singing protest song, songs of protest against social injustice, and storytelling while performing songs, following the tradition of his fa ...
, the author and singer of the song, had attended one of the Brocks' Thanksgiving dinners in 1965. According to Merriam-Webster, the first use of term Friendsgiving, a
portmanteau In linguistics, a blend—also known as a blend word, lexical blend, or portmanteau—is a word formed by combining the meanings, and parts of the sounds, of two or more words together.
of 'friends' and 'Thanksgiving', was in 2007 and referred to an informal meal. While early Friendsgiving meals were alternatives to a family Thanksgiving, the evolution of the concept into an additional (rather than alternative) meal came later. By 2013 the Emily Post Institute started receiving etiquette questions about the meal. The term wasn't frequently searched on Google prior to 2012, but by 2013 was being searched regularly and from then, searches on the term increased "exponentially" in following years. In 2022 Joe and Jill Biden celebrated with a traditional turkey dinner several days before Thanksgiving at a Marine base. The term was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2020.


In media

In 2011 a liqueur advertisement with a Friendsgiving theme appeared and the concept was a plot point in an episode of ''
The Real Housewives of New Jersey ''The Real Housewives of New Jersey'', abbreviated ''RHONJ'', is an American reality television series that premiered on May 12, 2009, on Bravo. Developed as the fourth installment of ''The Real Housewives'' franchise, it has aired fourteen sea ...
''. In 2019 Emily Stephenson published ''The Friendsgiving Handbook''. In 2020
Nicol Paone Nicol Paone is an American comedian, director, writer, and actress. Background Nicol Paone is an alumna of the Groundlings Sunday Company. In addition to performing on ''The Big Gay Sketch Show'', she has been on ''Punk'd'', Funny or Die Fun ...
wrote and directed the
comedy-drama Comedy drama (also known by the portmanteau dramedy) is a hybrid genre of works that combine elements of comedy and Drama (film and television), drama. In film, as well as scripted television series, serious dramatic subjects (such as death, il ...
''
Friendsgiving Friendsgiving is a Thanksgiving-themed feast meal eaten with friends typically prior to or instead of a family Thanksgiving dinner in the United States. The meal began as an additional holiday or as an alternative to the traditional family Th ...
'' for
Saban Films Saban Capital Group LLC is an American investment company based in Los Angeles Los Angeles, often referred to by its initials L.A., is the List of municipalities in California, most populous city in the U.S. state of California, and the ...
.


Analysis

The growth in popularity is attributed to social elements including the
chosen family Chosen family—also referred to as found family, a family of choice, or ''hānai'' family—refers to non-biological kinship bonds that are intentionally formed, regardless of legal recognition. These relationships are often based on mutual care ...
and the evolution of Thanksgiving in the United States from a single-day event into a Thanksgiving season. The ''New York Times'' called it "more than just a riff on Thanksgiving". ''
Reason Reason is the capacity of consciously applying logic by drawing valid conclusions from new or existing information, with the aim of seeking the truth. It is associated with such characteristically human activities as philosophy, religion, scien ...
'' magazine called it "cultural flourishing, not cultural decay". The ''Washington Post'' said it allowed participants to "curate" the holiday with their own traditions. Michael Hendrix of the
Manhattan Institute The Manhattan Institute for Policy Research (renamed in 1981 from the International Center for Economic Policy Studies) is an American 501(c)(3) nonprofit conservative think tank focused on domestic policy and urban affairs.R. Emmett Tyrrell, ...
described it as "a table set with lonely millennials practicing traditions of their choosing", arguing it had developed partially a result of delayed household formation among that cohort.
Pete Wells Peter Andrew Wells (born 1963) is an American journalist who was the restaurant critic for ''The New York Times'' from 2011 to 2024. Early life and career Wells was adopted as an infant by Shirley and Raymond Wells and grew up in Rhode Islan ...
wrote in 2019 that the many published 'How to' and 'Rules for' hosting a Friendsgiving are a result of so many of those embracing the event not being experienced at hosting large
dinner parties A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a Hospitality, host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, recreation, or as part of a festival or other commemoration or celebration of a special occasion. A party will oft ...
. Malcolm Harris argues that the use of a "cutesy" portmanteau for a "scraped-together, potluck-style event popular with Millennials...implies approval by the powers that be of Millennial adults’ lower income and lower living standards compared with those of prior generations" and that its development is "an expected manifestation" of that lowered living standard; he called the event "a propaganda weapon used by the ruling class to further their plans for wage stagnation."


References

{{Public holidays in the United States Observances based on the date of Thanksgiving (United States) Dining events Friendship Culture of the United States