Darby and Joan is a proverbial phrase for a married couple content to share a quiet life of mutual devotion.

Usage

The Nuttall Encyclopædia ''The Nuttall Encyclopædia: Being a Concise and Comprehensive Dictionary of General Knowledge'' is a late 19th-century encyclopedia, edited by Rev. James Wood, first published in London in 1900 by Frederick Warne & Co Ltd. Editions were rec ...

'' defined the phrase as "a married couple celebrated for their mutual attachment", the ''

Random House Dictionary ''Random House Webster's Unabridged Dictionary'' is a large American dictionary, first published in 1966 as ''The Random House Dictionary of the English Language: The Unabridged Edition''. Edited by Editor-in-chief Jess Stein, it contained 315,0 ...

'' as "a happily married couple who lead a placid, uneventful life." The ''Reader's Encyclopedia'' mentions the "loving, old-fashioned and virtuous" qualities of Darby and Joan.

Appearances as a poetic conceit

John Darby and his wife Joan were first mentioned in print in a poem published in ''

The Gentleman's Magazine ''The Gentleman's Magazine'' was a monthly magazine founded in London, England, by Edward Cave in January 1731. It ran uninterrupted for almost 200 years, until 1907, ceasing publication altogether in 1922. It was the first to use the term ''m ...

'' by Henry Woodfall (c. 1686–1747) in 1735, original title ''The Joys of Love never forgot. A Song''. Woodfall had been apprentice to Darby, a printer in Bartholomew Close in the

Little Britain Little Britain may refer to: Arts and entertainment * ''Little Britain'' (TV series), a British radio and then television series ** '' Little Britain USA'', an American spin-off * "Little Britain", a song by Dreadzone from the 1995 album ''Second ...

area of London, who died in 1730. The poem was issued again as a broadsheet in 1748. One stanza of this poem reads: The apparent popularity of this poem led to another titled "Darby and Joan" by St. John Honeywood (1763–1798):

Lord Byron George Gordon Byron, 6th Baron Byron (22 January 1788 – 19 April 1824) was an English poet. He is one of the major figures of the Romantic movement, and is regarded as being among the greatest poets of the United Kingdom. Among his best-kno ...

referred to the old couple in a letter addressed to

Francis Hodgson Francis Hodgson (16 November 1781 – 29 December 1852; also known as Frank Hodgson in correspondence) was a reforming Provost of Eton, educator, cleric, writer of verse, and friend of Byron. Life Hodgson was born on 16 November 1781, son of ...

on 8 December 1811:

Frederic Weatherly Frederic Edward Weatherly, KC (4 October 1848 – 7 September 1929) was an English lawyer, author, lyricist and broadcaster. He was christened and brought up using the name Frederick Edward Weatherly, and appears to have adopted the spelling 'F ...

mentioned the couple in the Victorian era. His poem "Darby and Joan" concludes with the following: They appear also in ''We Have Loved of Yore'' from

Robert Louis Stevenson Robert Louis Stevenson (born Robert Lewis Balfour Stevenson; 13 November 1850 – 3 December 1894) was a Scottish novelist, essayist, poet and travel writer. He is best known for works such as ''Treasure Island'', ''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll ...

's '' Songs of Travel and Other Verses'', published in 1896:

Appearances in popular music

Woodfall's poem was set to music, as a

ballad A ballad is a form of verse, often a narrative set to music. Ballads were particularly characteristic of the popular poetry and song of Great Britain and Ireland from the Late Middle Ages until the 19th century. They were widely used across Eur ...

, by the time of the appearance in 1805 of

James Plumptre James Plumptre (1771–1832) was an English clergyman and dramatist. Life James Plumptre was born at Cambridge on 2 October 1771, the third son of Robert Plumptre, President of Queens' College, Cambridge, by his wife, Anne Newcome.''ODNB'' The ...

's ''Collection of Songs'', where it was #152 in the first volume.

Oscar Hammerstein II Oscar Greeley Clendenning Hammerstein II (; July 12, 1895 – August 23, 1960) was an American lyricist, librettist, theatrical producer, and director in musical theater for nearly 40 years. He won eight Tony Awards and two Academy Award ...

and

Jerome Kern Jerome David Kern (January 27, 1885 – November 11, 1945) was an American composer of musical theatre and popular music. One of the most important American theatre composers of the early 20th century, he wrote more than 700 songs, used in over ...

's 1937 ballad "

The Folks Who Live On the Hill "The Folks Who Live on the Hill" is a 1937 popular song composed by Jerome Kern, with lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II. It was introduced by Irene Dunne in the 1937 film '' High, Wide, and Handsome'' and was recorded that year by Bing Crosby for Decc ...

" mentions Darby and Joan: The phrase was used satirically by

Noël Coward Sir Noël Peirce Coward (16 December 189926 March 1973) was an English playwright, composer, director, actor, and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what ''Time (magazine), Time'' called "a sense of personal style, a combination of c ...

in the song "Bronxville Darby and Joan" from his musical '' Sail Away'' (1961). The refrain begins, "We're a dear old couple and we hate one another." A relatively modern music reference to "Darby and Joan" is found in the 1969 pop release of the same name, written and performed by Lyn "Twinkle" Ripley, an English singer-songwriter. Another even newer reference is in the 2018 song "Darby and Joan" by Australian band The Babe Rainbow.

Appearances in prose

Oliver Goldsmith Oliver Goldsmith (10 November 1728 – 4 April 1774) was an Anglo-Irish people, Anglo-Irish poet, novelist, playwright, and hack writer. A prolific author of various literature, he is regarded among the most versatile writers of the Georgian e ...

refers to Darby and Joan in his 1773 play, ''She Stoops to Conquer or, The Mistakes of a Night. A Comedy'' in a conversation between married couple, Hardcastle and Mrs. Hardcastle In Act I, Scene I. Mrs. Hardcastle says, "You may be a Darby, but I'll be no Joan, I promise you." A reference to Darby and Joan appears in ''The Memoirs of

Harriette Wilson Harriette Wilson (2 February 1786 – 10 March 1845) was an English courtesan and writer. The author of ''The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson: Written by Herself'' (1825), she was a famed Regency era courtesan who became the mistress of the Earl of ...

'' (1825), the well-known courtesan whom the

Duke of Wellington Duke is a male title either of a monarch ruling over a duchy, or of a member of royalty, or nobility. As rulers, dukes are ranked below emperors, kings, grand princes, grand dukes, and above sovereign princes. As royalty or nobility, they ar ...

famously told to "publish and be damned!" Speaking of her tempestuous love–hate relationship with the "little sugar baker" Richard Meyler, she writes wryly:

Why really, Meyler, this plan of free as air, which you know you proposed, is so decidedly to my taste that I cannot sufficiently express to you my obligation. I began to wish, with you, that there was no such thing as constancy in the world, particularly when I recollect how very Darby and Joan-like we lived together in London.

Herman Melville Herman Melville (Name change, born Melvill; August 1, 1819 – September 28, 1891) was an American novelist, short story writer, and poet of the American Renaissance (literature), American Renaissance period. Among his best-known works ar ...

references Darby and Joan in describing the couple Samoa and Annatoo in Chapter 23 of

Mardi ''Mardi: and a Voyage Thither'' is the third book by American writer Herman Melville, first published in London in 1849. Beginning as a travelogue in the vein of the author's two previous efforts, the adventure story gives way to a romance sto ...

(1849):

Very often this husband and wife were no Darby and Joan. Their married life was one long campaign, whereof the truces were only by night.

Darby and Joan appear in

William Makepeace Thackeray William Makepeace Thackeray ( ; 18 July 1811 – 24 December 1863) was an English novelist and illustrator. He is known for his Satire, satirical works, particularly his 1847–1848 novel ''Vanity Fair (novel), Vanity Fair'', a panoramic portra ...

's ''

The History of Henry Esmond ''The History of Henry Esmond'' is a historical novel by William Makepeace Thackeray, originally published in 1852. The book tells the story of the early life of Henry Esmond, a colonel in the service of Queen Anne of England. A typical examp ...

'' (1852), when the beautiful, spoiled Beatrix taunts Esmond for his seemingly hopeless infatuation with her:

You have not enough money to keep a cat decently after you have your man his wages, and your landlady her bill. Do you think I'm going to live in a lodging, and turn the mutton at a string whilst your honour nurses the baby? Fiddlestick, and why did you not get this nonsense knocked out of your head when you were in the wars? You are come back more dismal and dreary than ever. You and mamma are fit for each other. You might be Darby and Joan, and play cribbage to the end of your lives.

They appear in

Anthony Trollope Anthony Trollope ( ; 24 April 1815 – 6 December 1882) was an English novelist and civil servant of the Victorian era. Among the best-known of his 47 novels are two series of six novels each collectively known as the ''Chronicles of Barsetshire ...

's novel ''

Phineas Finn ''Phineas Finn'' is a novel by Anthony Trollope and the name of its leading character. The novel was first published as a monthly serial from 1867 to 1868 and issued in book form in 1869. It is the second of the " Palliser" series of novels. It ...

'' (Chapter 51, "Troubles at Loughlinter"), published in 1869:

He was disposed to think that the whirlwind had hitherto been too predominant, and had said so very plainly with a good deal of marital authority. This autumn and winter were to be devoted to the cultivation of proper relations between him and his wife. "Does that mean Darby and Joan?" his wife had asked him, when the proposition was made to her.

and there are also several references in Trollope's subsequent '' The Prime Minister'' (1876), when Lady Glencora, Duchess of Omnium, bridles at her husband's requests that she put an end to the string of lavish parties she has been throwing to celebrate his selection as the country's leader. She dreads his demand that they adopt what she dismissively describes as a "Darby & Joan" existence. Other references include

Henry James Henry James ( – ) was an American-British author. He is regarded as a key transitional figure between literary realism and literary modernism, and is considered by many to be among the greatest novelists in the English language. He was the ...

's "

The Bostonians ''The Bostonians'' is a novel by Henry James, first published as a serial in ''The Century Magazine'' in 1885–1886 and then as a book in 1886. This bittersweet tragicomedy centres on an odd triangle of characters: Basil Ransom, a political c ...

" (1885–1886):

Mrs. Luna said, with her sociable manner, 'There is nothing I like so much, of a winter's night, as a cosy tête-à-tête by the fire. It's quite like Darby and Joan; what a pity the kettle has ceased singing!'

and ''

The Golden Bowl ''The Golden Bowl'' is a 1904 novel by Henry James. Set in England, this complex, intense study of marriage and adultery completes what some critics have called the "major phase" of James's career. ''The Golden Bowl'' explores the tangle of in ...

'' (1904):

Their very silence might have been the mark of something grave – their silence eked out for her by his giving her his arm and their then crawling up their steps quite mildly and unitedly together, like some old Darby and Joan who have had a disappointment.

Jerome K. Jerome Jerome Klapka Jerome (2 May 1859 – 14 June 1927) was an English writer and humorist, best known for the comic travelogue ''Three Men in a Boat'' (1889). Other works include the essay collections '' Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow'' (1886) an ...

, in his play ''The Passing of the Third Floor Back: An Idle Fancy In a Prologue, A Play, and An Epilogue'' (1908) has a character (Mrs. de Hooley) refer ironically to an argumentative couple (Major and Mrs. Tomkins) as "Darby and Joan."

Wallace Stevens Wallace Stevens (October 2, 1879 – August 2, 1955) was an American modernist poet. He was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, educated at Harvard and then New York Law School, and spent most of his life working as an executive for an insurance compa ...

also refers to "young Darby and young Joan" in his essay "Imagination as Value", from his 1951 book of essays, ''The Necessary Angel''.

Ruth Rendell Ruth Barbara Rendell, Baroness Rendell of Babergh, (; 17 February 1930 – 2 May 2015) was an English author of thrillers and psychological murder mysteries. Rendell is best known for creating Chief Inspector Wexford.The Oxford Companion ...

's ''The Best Man to Die'' (1981) has this reference:

My father called my mother darling once or twice and there was a kind of Darby and Joan air about them;

Alan Ayckbourn Sir Alan Ayckbourn (born 12 April 1939) is a prolific British playwright and director. As of 2025, he has written and produced 90 full-length plays in Scarborough and London and was, between 1972 and 2009, the artistic director of the Stephen ...

refers to "Darby and Joan Hepplewick" in his 1982 play ''Intimate Exchanges''.

Albert Camus Albert Camus ( ; ; 7 November 1913 – 4 January 1960) was a French philosopher, author, dramatist, journalist, world federalist, and political activist. He was the recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature at the age of 44, the s ...

' translator

Stuart Gilbert Arthur Stuart Ahluwalia Stronge Gilbert (25 October 1883 – 5 January 1969) was an English literary scholar and translator. Among his translations into English are works by Alexis de Tocqueville, Édouard Dujardin, André Malraux, Antoine de ...

said "they weren't one of those exemplary married couples of the Darby-and-Joan pattern" on page 70 of '' The Plague'' (Vintage 1991 edition). Camus did not use the phrase himself in 'La Peste' (1947: 57): "Ce n'etait même pas un de ces ménages qui offrent au monde l'exemple d'un bonheur exemplaire..."

Louisa May Alcott Louisa May Alcott (; November 29, 1832March 6, 1888) was an American novelist, short story writer, and poet best known for writing the novel ''Little Women'' (1868) and its sequels ''Good Wives'' (1869), ''Little Men'' (1871), and ''Jo's Boys'' ...

's "Moods" Chapter 14:

Why not, if you can bear our quiet life, for we are a Darby and Joan already, though we do not look so to-night, I acknowledge.

Darby and Joan clubs

These were set up by the

Women's Voluntary Service The Royal Voluntary Service (known as the Women's Voluntary Services (WVS) from 1938 to 1966; Women's Royal Voluntary Service (WRVS) from 1966 to 2004 and WRVS from 2004 to 2013) is a voluntary organisation concerned with helping people in need ...

(WVS) after World War II. The WVS had done sterling work during

the Blitz The Blitz (English: "flash") was a Nazi Germany, German bombing campaign against the United Kingdom, for eight months, from 7 September 1940 to 11 May 1941, during the Second World War. Towards the end of the Battle of Britain in 1940, a co ...

, and wanted to develop what they could offer to older people. They set up day centres called "Darby and Joan clubs", "where people could meet in pleasant surroundings for a friendly chat and a cup of tea and perhaps a quiet game of cards or half an hour with the wireless .e. radio; some of these clubs also offered a hot mid-day meal.

References

{{reflist English phrases