Culture (Bottom)

"Culture" is the second episode of the second series of British TV sitcom Bottom. It was first broadcast on 8 October 1992. It is the second episode to feature only the two main characters.

Synopsis

After falling behind with the rent, Richie and Eddie desperately try to find ways to entertain themselves after their television is taken back to Rumbelows.

Plot

This episode begins with the pair doing a crossword. They get bored of creating made-up words for the clues, which leads to Richie telling Eddie to "do it properly or not at all" so he tears up the paper. They then argue about whose fault it is that the television has been repossessed. Richie said that Eddie went to Rumbelows with the money to pay the rent they had fallen behind on, but instead gave it to a strange and wizened old man in return for five magic beans (which are all just worthless dead seeds). Eddie responds that they were £86.23 behind with the rental because Richie was going to Rumbelows as he'd saved up the rent money every week for the past three months, but instead he kept bypassing them, going "five doors along to Dr. O'Grady's personal organ enhancement clinic", and lost a mere £85 to have his personal organ enhanced "so that it is comparable in size to that of a fully-grown mountain gorilla." (which turned out to be a scam, as Dr. O'Grady merely stuck Richie "in a cubicle for half an hour with a copy of Razzle"). Shortly the duo relent and start feeling sorry for themselves and trying alternative ways to entertain each other without the TV, while missing their favorite programs.

Richie complains about his boredom, and then suggests playing ' Pin the Tail on the Donkey'. However, since there is nothing in the flat to play with, they end up playing 'put a bit of Sellotape on the fridge', in which Eddie wins (even though he wasn't wearing a blindfold and can still see after Richie poked his eyes). After this, Eddie suggests that they have a 'see how much custard you can fit in your underpants' competition, in which Richie wins by default after Eddie sits down, splattering his custard all over the room.

After cleaning up, they try to play with Richie's antique chess set that his Great Aunt Dorothy left him. Richie puts on a smoking jacket, which is actually his Mac, turned inside out. Richie tells Eddie that the chess set is the one that Wellington played with on the eve of the Battle of Waterloo. Here, it is made clear that Eddie has been stealing most of the valuable ivory chess pieces and selling them. Because there are only five pieces left, they have to play chess with different objects as the missing pieces such as frozen prawns (in place of pawn (chess), pawns), a potted cactus, a tomato ketchup bottle, a large Spider-Man figurine and a toy skeleton. They also create cocktails using Pernod (brand), Pernod, Ouzo, marmalade and salt as ingredients, naming their creation the Esther Rantzen, as it 'pulls your gums over your teeth'. Just as they are about to start playing, Richie tells Eddie he does not know the rules of chess.

The episode then cuts to a few hours later; it is now 5:00am and Eddie has been up since 10:00pm telling Richie the rules of chess 124 times. They have been through the Ouzo, Pernod, Old Spice and all three litres of the industrial strength floor cleaner and they still haven't play the game due to Richie's time wasting ignorance. By now, Eddie's nerves are frayed and he furiously forces Richie to begin the game. Having learned nothing over the previous seven hours, Richie acts out a war situation with his pieces, destroying half of them in the process and Eddie – realising that Richie still does not have a clue about the rules – moves his queen around the board several times in one go to confuse Richie, and then drags Richie's pieces over to his side, before declaring checkmate. Richie retaliates with a punch and they have a massive fight, in which Richie gets his feet crushed with a table, has a chair broken over his head and his head slammed in the fridge, but not before ramming the spike of an umbrella into Eddie's groin. Eddie talks to the viewers about how 'they say television encourages violence, well I'm smashing his face in and we haven't got one!' only for Richie to pull the television from behind the fridge and explain that it had not been taken; he had hidden it to see what a night without television would be like. He also hoped it would 'get a bit of interaction going'. Eddie obliges by smashing the television set over Richie's head. Ending the episode with his I don't know why I bother face expression.

References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Culture (Bottom Episode)
Bottom (TV series) episodes
1992 British television episodes