Covert incest, also known as emotional incest, is a type of abuse in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult. The effects of covert incest on children when they become adults are thought to mimic actual incest, although to a lesser degree. This term describes interactions between a parent and child that are exclusive of sexual abuse.

Concept

''Covert incest'' was defined in the 1980s as an

emotionally abusive Psychological abuse, often called emotional abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another person to a behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumati ...

relationship between a parental figure and child that does not involve

incest Incest ( ) is human sexual activity between family members or close relatives. This typically includes sexual activity between people in consanguinity (blood relations), and sometimes those related by affinity ( marriage or stepfamily), ado ...

or sexual intercourse, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between

sexual partner Sexual partners are people who engage in sexual activity together. The sexual partners may be in a committed relationship, either on an exclusive basis or not, or engage in the sexual activity on a casual basis. They may be on intimate terms ...

s. Defining such relationships as "incest" has led to criticism of the concept for dramatically loosening the definition of incest, making

child abuse Child abuse (also called child endangerment or child maltreatment) is physical, sexual, and/or psychological maltreatment or neglect of a child or children, especially by a parent or a caregiver. Child abuse may include any act or failure to ...

seem more prevalent than it actually is and being overused and unsubstantiated. Covert incest is described as occurring when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a

spouse A spouse is a significant other in a marriage. In certain contexts, it can also apply to a civil union or common-law marriage. Although a spouse is a form of significant other, the latter term also includes non-marital partners who play a social ...

onto their child instead. The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent and the adult may not be aware of the problems created by their actions. The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest, though to a lesser degree. Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims as having anger or guilt towards parents and problems with

self-esteem Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am loved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) d ...

, addiction, and sexual and emotional intimacy. Psychotherapist Roni Weisberg-Ross has noted that the term may not be particularly useful, since it can lead to attributing nearly any possible dysfunctional relationship or problem, becoming "a catchall, watered-down diagnosis". Ross also criticizes the term for its emphasis on children meeting parents' "unmet needs", noting that children often meet the emotional or other needs of parents, with relationship boundaries frequently blurring and no definition of when this leads to permanent damage or harm.

Jungian analyst Analytical psychology ( de , Analytische Psychologie, sometimes translated as analytic psychology and referred to as Jungian analysis) is a term coined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, to describe research into his new "empirical science" ...

and author

Marion Woodman Marion Jean Woodman (née Boa, August 15, 1928 – July 9, 2018) was a Canadian mythopoetic author, poet, analytical psychologist and women's movement figure. She wrote and spoke extensively about the dream theories of Carl Jung.Active Interest ...

describes covert incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than

mirroring Mirroring is the behavior in which one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family, often going unnoticed ...

the child in support of the child's emotional development.

Alcoholism Alcoholism is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in significant mental or physical health problems. Because there is disagreement on the definition of the word ''alcoholism'', it is not a recognized diagnostic entity. Predomina ...

and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.

References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Covert Incest Incest Child abuse Psychological abuse

Concept

See also

References