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The Cinderella complex was first described by Colette Dowling, who wrote a book on women's fear of
The Cinderella complex was first described by Colette Dowling, who wrote a book on women's fear of independence
Independence is a condition of a nation, country, or state, in which residents and population, or some portion thereof, exercise self-government, and usually sovereignty, over its territory. The opposite of independence is the status of ...
– an unconscious desire to be taken care of by someone else. The complex is said to become more apparent as a person grows older.
The complex is named after the fairy tale
A fairy tale (alternative names include fairytale, fairy story, household tale, magic tale, or wonder tale) is a short story that belongs to the folklore genre. Such stories typically feature magic, enchantments, and mythical or fanciful bei ...
character of Cinderella
"Cinderella", or "The Little Glass Slipper", is a Folklore, folk tale with thousands of variants that are told throughout the world.Dundes, Alan. Cinderella, a Casebook. Madison, Wis: University of Wisconsin Press, 1988. The protagonist is a you ...
. Its title refers to an ideal of femininity as portrayed in that story, where a woman is expected to be beautiful, polite, supportive of others but fundamentally incapable of either taking care of herself or changing her situation through her own efforts. Instead she is taught that she needs to be protected and taken care by another, usually a man. (i.e., the Prince
A prince is a male ruler (ranked below a king, grand prince, and grand duke) or a male member of a monarch's or former monarch's family. ''Prince'' is also a title of nobility (often highest), often hereditary, in some European states. The ...
). Dowling examines the deleterious effects of this socialization on the psychology of girls and women.
"The Cinderella Syndrome"
In 1981, Colette Dowling published an article titled "The Cinderella Syndrome" in ''The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'', which was adapted from her book, ''The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence'' which was to be published that year.
Additional perspectives
Others point to Ronald Fairbairn's concept of mature dependency, Judith Viorst (2010) ''Necessary Losses''. Simon & Schuster. . p. 120 to challenge cultural disparagement of dependency in favor of an ideal of isolated independence. Carol Gilligan's championship of a web of connections as a feminist goal, rather than the solitary male hero, is also invoked to defend the Cinderella complex's tendency to define the self in terms of a mate/settled relationship.R. J. Corsini (1999) ''A Dictionary of Psychology''. Psychology Press. . p. 166Popular culture
In 1955, the term ''Cinderella complex'' was already used by British writerAgatha Christie
Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie, Lady Mallowan, (; 15 September 1890 – 12 January 1976) was an English people, English author known for her 66 detective novels and 14 short story collections, particularly those revolving ...
in her detective story Hickory Dickory Dock. The student of psychology, Colin McNabb, diagnoses a Cinderella complex with Celia Austin. And in 1960 Osbert Sitwell published the comedy ''The Cinderella Complex''.
In the movie ''Tootsie
''Tootsie'' is a 1982 American satirical romantic comedy film directed by Sydney Pollack from a screenplay by Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal and a story by Gelbart and Don McGuire. It stars Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, D ...
'', Teri Garr
Terry Ann Garr (December 11, 1944 – October 29, 2024), known as Teri Garr, was an American actress. Known for her comedic roles in film and television in the 1970s and 1980s, she often played women struggling to cope with the life-changing ex ...
tells Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Lee Hoffman (born August 8, 1937) is an American actor. As one of the key actors in the formation of New Hollywood, Hoffman is known for Dustin Hoffman filmography, his versatile portrayals of antiheroes and emotionally vulnerable charac ...
during their break-up at the end of the movie, "I read the Cinderella Complex! I'm responsible for my own orgasm! I don't care, I just don't like to be lied to!"
In the TV series '' Police Squad!'' episode 4 " Revenge and Remorse", Joyce Brothers gets advice from the shoeshine man Johnny about how to treat the Cinderella complex: "Tell them to get in touch with their unconscious feelings and to share in the growth process with their partner."
It is also mentioned in Netflix's ''Sex Education
Sex education, also known as sexual education, sexuality education or sex ed, is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including human sexual anatomy, Human sexual activity, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, safe sex, birth ...
'' in season 1 episode 7.
See also
* '' Bridget Jones'' *Family nexus
In psychology, a family nexus is a common viewpoint held and reinforced by the majority of family members regarding events in the family and relationships with the world. The term was coined by R. D. Laing, who believed that this nexus "exists on ...
* ''Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded
''Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded'' is an epistolary novel first published in 1740 by the English writer Samuel Richardson. Considered one of the first true English novels, it serves as Richardson's version of conduct literature about marriage. ...
''
* Sibling rivalry
Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood-related or not.
In childhood, siblings generally spend more time together than they do with parents. Sibling bonds are influenced by factors such as parental ...
References
{{Cinderella Self Popular psychology Complex (psychology) Cinderella