
In
human sexuality
Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, psychological, physical, erotic, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. Because it is a broad term, which has varied ...
, top, bottom, and versatile are roles during
sexual activity
Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone (e.g., masturbation) t ...
, especially between two (or more) males. A ''top'' is usually a person who
penetrates, a ''bottom'' is usually one who receives penetration, and someone who is ''versatile'' engages in either or both roles. These terms may be elements of
self-identity
In the psychology of self, one's self-concept (also called self-construction, self-identity, self-perspective or self-structure) is a collection of beliefs about oneself. Generally, self-concept embodies the answer to the question ''"Who am ...
that indicate an individual's usual preference and habits, but might also describe broader sexual identities and social roles.
The terms ''top'' and ''bottom'' do not refer to the literal physical position during sex.
For men who have sex with men and do not engage in anal sex, the term "side" has been proposed and has seen commercial use. Side men do not engage in anal sex but rather enjoy
outercourse.
Top
A top is usually a person who engages in the penetrative role during sexual activity; for
men who have sex with men (MSM), this often involves penetration using the
penis
A penis (; : penises or penes) is a sex organ through which male and hermaphrodite animals expel semen during copulation (zoology), copulation, and through which male placental mammals and marsupials also Urination, urinate.
The term ''pen ...
during
anal
Anal may refer to:
Related to the anus
*Related to the anus of animals:
** Anal fin, in fish anatomy
** Anal vein, in insect anatomy
** Anal scale, in reptile anatomy
*Related to the human anus:
** Anal sex, a type of sexual activity involving ...
or
oral
The word oral may refer to:
Relating to the mouth
* Relating to the mouth, the first portion of the alimentary canal that primarily receives food and liquid
**Oral administration of medicines
** Oral examination (also known as an oral exam or ora ...
sex.
''Top'' is also used as a verb meaning "to penetrate another". ''Top'' may also describe a broader
personal identity
Personal identity is the unique numerical identity of a person over time. Discussions regarding personal identity typically aim to determine the necessary and sufficient conditions under which a person at one time and a person at another time ...
involving
dominance in a
romantic or
sexual relationship
An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of Romance (love), romance or love. Intimate relationships are Interdependence ...
; however, this stipulation is not a requisite element of being a top.
Several related terms exist. With regard to gay male sexuality, a ' or pure top is one who assumes an exclusively penetrative role for sex. A ' is one noted for their great skill or aggressiveness in topping. Increasingly the term ''rough top'' is used on apps such as
Grindr
Grindr () is a location-based social networking and online dating application for gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people.
It was one of the first geosocial apps for gay men when it launched in March 2009, and has since become the large ...
to describe a top who penetrates with particular aggression often as a show of masculinity, and to let the bottom know they are being sodomized hard as a way to psychologically hurt them. A ' is "one who tops under the direction of an eager bottom", or is submissive while being the one who penetrates.
A ' is one who prefers to top but who bottoms occasionally, colloquially, a ''soft top''. The terms '
or ' are synonyms of ''top'', created to describe the act of penetrating without implying non-egalitarian relations among participants.
Bottom
A bottom is usually the receptive partner during sexual penetration. This frequently refers to MSM who are penetrated via the
anus
In mammals, invertebrates and most fish, the anus (: anuses or ani; from Latin, 'ring' or 'circle') is the external body orifice at the ''exit'' end of the digestive tract (bowel), i.e. the opposite end from the mouth. Its function is to facil ...
during anal sex.
''Bottom'' is also used as a verb meaning "to be penetrated by another, whether anally or orally". ''Bottom'' may also describe a wider social context of
submission
Deference (also called submission or passivity) is the condition of submitting to the espoused, legitimate influence of one's superior or superiors. Deference implies a yielding or submitting to the judgment of a recognized superior, out of re ...
within a romantic or sexual relationship, though this element does not apply to all people who prefer to bottom. For example, a ' may refer to someone who takes a more dominant role while being the receptive partner.
In gay male sexuality, a ''total bottom'' is someone who assumes an exclusively receptive role during anal or oral intercourse. A ' is one who prefers to bottom but who tops occasionally. The terms ' or ' may be preferred by some. An ''oral bottom'' is the exclusively receptive partner in oral sex, providing the penetrative partner, or ''oral top'', with unreciprocated
fellatio
Fellatio (also known as fellation, and in slang as blowjob, BJ, giving head, or sucking off) is an oral sex act consisting of the stimulation of a human penis, penis by using the mouth. Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed ''fellat ...
or
irrumatio
Irrumatio (also known as irrumation or by the colloquialism face-fucking) is a form of oral sex in which someone thrusts their penis into another person's mouth, in contrast to fellatio where the penis is being actively orally excited by a fell ...
.
Versatile
''Versatile'', or ''vers'', refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming and may alternate between the two in sexual situations.
''Flip-flop'' or ''flip fuck'' commonly describes switching from top to bottom during one sexual encounter between two men. Each participant penetrates the other and is penetrated in his turn.
Versatility is a concept of
lifestyle
Lifestyle is the interests, opinions, behaviours, and behavioural orientations of an individual, group, or culture. The term "style of life" () was introduced by Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler in his 1929 book, ''The Case of Miss R.'', w ...
.
''Versatility'', though, is not limited to the simple acts of anal, oral, or vaginal penetration, but also includes the splitting of duties and responsibilities in the relationship.
According to some, living a ''versatile lifestyle'' implies a certain openness to new things and an opposition to
labels
A label (as distinct from signage) is a piece of paper, plastic film, cloth, metal, or other material affixed to a container or product. Labels are most often affixed to packaging and containers using an adhesive, or sewing when affixed to ...
,
stereotype
In social psychology, a stereotype is a generalization, generalized belief about a particular category of people. It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a particular group. The type of expectation can vary; it can ...
s and
generalization
A generalization is a form of abstraction whereby common properties of specific instances are formulated as general concepts or claims. Generalizations posit the existence of a domain or set of elements, as well as one or more common characteri ...
s. Therefore, this concept differs from heterosexual relationships where sexual compatibility does not begin with guessing who will end up as top or bottom.
In self descriptions of men seeking sex with other men, they may refer to themselves as a versatile tops or versatile bottoms in addition to using other terms.
A 2009 Austrian study on
gay pornography
Gay pornography is the representation of Sexual practices between men, sexual activity between males with the primary goal to sexual arousal, sexually arouse its audience. Softcore pornography, Softcore gay pornography also exists; which at o ...
has shown that at least 82.4% of all men performing in the male
porn industry
The sex industry (also called the sex trade) consists of businesses that either directly or indirectly provide sex-related products and services or adult entertainment. The industry includes activities involving direct provision of sex-related se ...
are versatile at some point during their career. In this study, the performances of 5,556 actors were considered. 10.8% performed only in the top role, 6.8% only as bottoms. The study also found that the actor with the
larger penis was more likely to act as the top.
Side
The term ''side'' was coined in 2013 in an article by psychotherapist and sexologist
Joe Kort
Joe Kort (born 1963) is an American psychotherapist, clinical social worker, board-certified clinical sexologist, author, lecturer and facilitator of therapeutic workshops. He works as Clinical Director and founder of The Center for Relationship ...
for gay men who are not interested in anal sex. In the article, Kort offered this definition: "Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind."
The term has gained increasingly broad acceptance since then. In May 2022, the gay dating app
Grindr
Grindr () is a location-based social networking and online dating application for gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people.
It was one of the first geosocial apps for gay men when it launched in March 2009, and has since become the large ...
added Side as a position option and other apps have subsequently followed suit.
In Brazil, this concept is known as ', while the term is used to refer to
non-penetrative sex
Non-penetrative sex or outercourse is Human sexual activity, sexual activity that usually does not include sexual penetration, but some forms, particularly when termed ''outercourse'', include penetrative aspects, that may result from forms of ...
. It derives from , French word for
dyke.
Prevalence
A tally of 55,464 profiles on
gay.com
Gay.com was a chat, personals, and social networking website catering to the LGBT community. The site was a digital brand of Here Media Inc. In addition to community features, the site featured LGBT-related news and features. As of September 20 ...
from the
United States
The United States of America (USA), also known as the United States (U.S.) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It is a federal republic of 50 U.S. state, states and a federal capital district, Washington, D.C. The 48 ...
showed that 26.46% preferred top, while 31.92% preferred bottom, and the largest group (41.62%) preferred versatile. The preferences seemed to vary by state, however. In Wyoming, for example, 16% preferred top, 44% preferred bottom, and 40% preferred versatile. In West Virginia, tops outnumbered bottoms by a slim margin (32% top, 29% bottom, and 39% versatile). In Oregon, "versatile" profiles made up nearly half (48.42%).
A study of the most recent sexual encounter among men who have sex with men found only 37.2% of participants had engaged in anal sex, while 72.7% had participated in oral sex and 68.4% in partnered masturbation.
Other
General
In the
hanky code
The handkerchief code (also known as the hanky/hankie code, the bandana/bandanna code, and flagging) is a system of color-coded cloth handkerchief or bandanas for non-verbally communicating one's interests in sexual activities and fetishes. The ...
, a person flagging the top, or active, role would wear the hanky in the left pocket, and the bottom, or passive, role on the right. Acts which were not divisible into distinct roles, however, such as "69" or "anything", followed a pattern in which one flagged interest by wearing the hanky on the left and absence of interest by wearing it on the right. Preferences that did not relate to sexual mechanics, such as uniform fetishism or prostitution, followed a pattern in which the seeker flagged on the right and the object of desire flagged on the left.
The ''cowboy position'' is anal sex in which the
bottom straddles the
top
Top most commonly refers to:
* Top, a basic term of orientation, distinguished from bottom, front, back, and sides
* Spinning top, a ubiquitous traditional toy
* Top (clothing), clothing designed to be worn over the torso
* Mountain top, a moun ...
. The position is often cited as being advantageous for bottoms who are new to anal sex, as it allows the receiving partner to lower himself on to the other's penis at his own pace.
Alternative terminology
Other terms for ''top'' and ''bottom'' include ''active'' and ''passive'', and ''pitcher'' and ''catcher''.
The intended meanings of ''active'' vs. ''passive'' in reference to oral sex can be unclear, however. ''Switch'' is sometimes used for ''versatile''.
Role vs. position among sexualities
The terms ''top'', ''bottom'' and ''versatile'' do not necessarily refer literally to physical position during sex.
Topping or Bottoming – How To Know If You're A Top Or Bottom
. Gaylife.about.com (2012-01-01). Retrieved on 2012-01-09. For example, if the inserting partner lies on his back and the receptive partner straddles him, the inserting partner is still considered the ''top'', and the receptive partner the ''bottom'', despite their reverse physical arrangement.
See also
* ''Seme'' and ''uke'': related terms in Japan
Japan is an island country in East Asia. Located in the Pacific Ocean off the northeast coast of the Asia, Asian mainland, it is bordered on the west by the Sea of Japan and extends from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north to the East China Sea ...
ese manga
are comics or graphic novels originating from Japan. Most manga conform to a style developed in Japan in the late 19th century, and the form has a long history in earlier Japanese art. The term is used in Japan to refer to both comics ...
and anime
is a Traditional animation, hand-drawn and computer animation, computer-generated animation originating from Japan. Outside Japan and in English, ''anime'' refers specifically to animation produced in Japan. However, , in Japan and in Ja ...
publications and fandom
A fandom is a subculture composed of Fan (person), fans characterized by a feeling of camaraderie with others who share a common interest. Fans typically are interested in even minor details of the objects of their fandom and spend a significan ...
* Sex position
A sex position is a positioning of the bodies that people use to engage in sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Sexual acts are generally described by the positions the participants adopt in order to perform those acts. Though sexua ...
* '' The Gay Travel Guide for Tops and Bottoms''
* ''Top'', ''bottom'', and ''switch'': terms used in BDSM
BDSM is a variety of often Eroticism, erotic practices or Sexual roleplay, roleplaying involving Bondage (BDSM), bondage, Discipline (BDSM), discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given ...
erotic practices and roleplaying
References
;Notes
;Bibliography
* Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy. ''The New Topping Book.'' Greenery Press, 2003. .
* Person, Ethel S. / Terestman, Nettie / Myers, Wayne A. / Goldberg, Eugene L. / Salvadori, Carol: Gender differences in sexual behaviors and fantasies in a college population, 1989, erschienen in: Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, Bd. 15, Nr. 3, 1989, P. 187–198
* Janus, Samuel S. / Janus, Cynthia L., 1993 The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, Wiley, New York
* Charles Moser, in Journal of Social Work and Human Sexuality 1988, (7;1, P.43–56)
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