Bitch (short Story)
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"Bitch" is a
short story A short story is a piece of prose fiction. It can typically be read in a single sitting and focuses on a self-contained incident or series of linked incidents, with the intent of evoking a single effect or mood. The short story is one of the old ...
written by
Roald Dahl Roald Dahl (13 September 1916 – 23 November 1990) was a British author of popular children's literature and short stories, a poet, screenwriter and a wartime Flying ace, fighter ace. His books have sold more than 300 million copies ...
, and it is the second appearance of Dahl's character Uncle Oswald.


Plot

This story starts with Dahl introducing his Uncle Oswald's diary. He then goes on to the story, which begins in
Paris Paris () is the Capital city, capital and List of communes in France with over 20,000 inhabitants, largest city of France. With an estimated population of 2,048,472 residents in January 2025 in an area of more than , Paris is the List of ci ...
on a Wednesday. At the start of the diary entry, Dahl's fictitious Uncle Oswald was trying a new honey sent by his friend when someone by the name of Henri Biotte called him and told him to go over to the latter's house. Uncle Oswald then introduces Henri Biotte in a flash-back, whom he met three years previously in
Provence Provence is a geographical region and historical province of southeastern France, which stretches from the left bank of the lower Rhône to the west to the France–Italy border, Italian border to the east; it is bordered by the Mediterrane ...
where he went to spend a summer week-end with a lady. Biotte was a fellow guest in Provence like Uncle Oswald. It is then discovered that Biotte was a Belgian
olfactory The sense of smell, or olfaction, is the special sense through which smells (or odors) are perceived. The sense of smell has many functions, including detecting desirable foods, hazards, and pheromones, and plays a role in taste. In humans, it ...
chemist A chemist (from Greek ''chēm(ía)'' alchemy; replacing ''chymist'' from Medieval Latin ''alchemist'') is a graduated scientist trained in the study of chemistry, or an officially enrolled student in the field. Chemists study the composition of ...
with an amazing sense of smell. He approached Uncle Oswald with the intention of asking for
funding Funding is the act of providing resources to finance a need, program, or project. While this is usually in the form of money, it can also take the form of effort or time from an organization or company. Generally, this word is used when a firm use ...
to continue his
research Research is creative and systematic work undertaken to increase the stock of knowledge. It involves the collection, organization, and analysis of evidence to increase understanding of a topic, characterized by a particular attentiveness to ...
and cultivation of an 8th scent that humans are supposedly able to smell. Biotte said that humans have a total of eight types of olfactory nerves and cells, but only seven of them are used actively, while the last one is dormant due to lack of use. He wanted to cultivate a smell to unlock the last nerve in the hope of using it to control the world. The last smell is the smell related to the sexual psychology of humans. Biotte then goes on to explain the system of smell to Uncle Oswald. The flash-back ends with Uncle Oswald reaching Biotte's laboratory. Biotte had finally cultivated the desired smell, called Bitch, named by both the author and himself. However, only eleven cubic centimetres have been produced over a long period of time. After lending him some nose plugs and a face mask, Pierre Lacaille, a
boxer Boxer most commonly refers to: *Boxer (boxing), a competitor in the sport of boxing * Boxer (dog), a breed of dog Boxer or boxers may also refer to: Animal kingdom * Boxer crab * Boxer shrimp, a small group of decapod crustaceans * Boxer snipe ee ...
hired by Biotte to be a test subject, turns up. The desired result of this test is that the man become aroused by the new smell and unconsciously have sex with the female test subject (Biotte's assistant and girlfriend Simone) without exhaustion or control, until the effects wear off. Biotte must also not be able to stop the male subject from continuing the
sexual intercourse Sexual intercourse (also coitus or copulation) is a sexual activity typically involving the insertion of the Erection, erect male Human penis, penis inside the female vagina and followed by Pelvic thrust, thrusting motions for sexual pleasure ...
as a desired result. The test is successful and the boxer is paid. However, the boxer was not able to recall doing anything for the past six minutes and twenty-three seconds during which he was having sex with the woman. The effective distance of the smell was also recorded. The smell is ineffective on female subjects. The next morning, the author discovers that Simone had sprayed herself with the remaining dose of Bitch and had Biotte smell her, whereupon he erupted into a sexual frenzy that killed him before he could write out the formula for the smell. He had a weak heart, which caused him to die easily. As the formula was not written down, the author is left with only one cubic centimetre of the liquid that Biotte had given him the previous day. He decides to make full use of it to humiliate the
President of the United States The president of the United States (POTUS) is the head of state and head of government of the United States. The president directs the Federal government of the United States#Executive branch, executive branch of the Federal government of t ...
. He plans to plant a capsule made by his friend Marcel Brossolet around the ribbon of a stalk of flowers meant for Mrs. Elvira Ponsomby, who will be appearing on television with the President regarding a policy statement at a dinner given in his honor by the
Daughters of the American Revolution The National Society Daughters of the American Revolution (often abbreviated as DAR or NSDAR) is a lineage-based membership service organization for women who are directly descended from a patriot of the American Revolutionary War. A non-p ...
in the ballroom of the
Waldorf Astoria The Waldorf Astoria New York is a luxury hotel and condominium residence in the Midtown Manhattan neighborhood of New York City, New York. The structure, at 301 Park Avenue between 49th and 50th Streets, is a 47-story, Art Deco landmark des ...
. The author first brings a bouquet of orchids from a local florist. He then hid his capsule beneath the ribbon holding the flowers together, and delivers it to Mrs. Ponsomby's suite with the claim that it is for the President. During the broadcast, the capsule would burst open and the liquid would flow into Mrs. Ponsomby's bosom. The President would be aroused by the smell and begin having sex with all the women present, leading to his humiliation. When the author goes to Mrs. Ponsomby's suite to deliver the flowers, she decides to wear them on her dress. However, she had to unpin the smaller flower pinned onto her dress. Due to her being incredibly fat with a huge bosom, she had difficulty doing it. After getting the author to remove the smaller flower, they discovered that they did not have another
safety pin A safety pin is a variation of the regular Pin (device), pin which includes a simple Spring (device), spring mechanism and a clasp. The clasp forms a closed loop to properly fasten the pin to whatever it is applied to and covers the end of the p ...
to attach the orchids. Finally, Mrs. Ponsomby decided to use the safety pin from the first flower and before the author could stop her, she drove it into the stalk of the orchids, bursting the capsule hidden there unintentionally. "...the two of us were millions of miles up in outer space, flying through the universe in a shower of meteorites all red and gold. I was riding her bareback... "Faster!" I shouted, jabbing long spurs into her flanks. "Go faster!" Faster and still faster she flew, spurting and spinning around the rim of the sky, her mane streaming with sun, and snow waving out of her tail. The sense of power I had was overwhelming. I was unassailable, supreme. I was the Lord of the Universe, scattering the planets and catching the stars in the palm of my hand..." "Oh, ecstasy and ravishment! Oh,
Jericho Jericho ( ; , ) is a city in the West Bank, Palestine, and the capital of the Jericho Governorate. Jericho is located in the Jordan Valley, with the Jordan River to the east and Jerusalem to the west. It had a population of 20,907 in 2017. F ...
and Tyre and
Sidon Sidon ( ) or better known as Saida ( ; ) is the third-largest city in Lebanon. It is located on the Mediterranean Sea, Mediterranean coast in the South Governorate, Lebanon, South Governorate, of which it is the capital. Tyre, Lebanon, Tyre, t ...
! The walls came tumbling down and the firmament disintegrated, and out of the smoke and fire of the explosion, the sitting-room in the Waldorf Towers came swimming slowly back into my consciousness like a rainy day...""Bitch" in ''
Switch Bitch ''Switch Bitch'' (1974) is a book of adult short stories by British writer Roald Dahl. Four stories, originally published in '' Playboy'' between 1965 and 1974, are collected. They are linked by themes of rape by deception: in each one, some m ...
'' collection,
When he awakes, he is naked and the suite has been ransacked. The story ends with Mrs. Ponsomby telling the author "Young man, I don't know who you are, but you've done me a power of good."


Publications

It was originally published in the July 1974 issue of ''
Playboy ''Playboy'' (stylized in all caps) is an American men's Lifestyle journalism, lifestyle and entertainment magazine, available both online and in print. It was founded in Chicago in 1953 by Hugh Hefner and his associates, funded in part by a $ ...
'', and appears as part of Dahl's short story collection ''
Switch Bitch ''Switch Bitch'' (1974) is a book of adult short stories by British writer Roald Dahl. Four stories, originally published in '' Playboy'' between 1965 and 1974, are collected. They are linked by themes of rape by deception: in each one, some m ...
''.


See also

* "
Switch Bitch ''Switch Bitch'' (1974) is a book of adult short stories by British writer Roald Dahl. Four stories, originally published in '' Playboy'' between 1965 and 1974, are collected. They are linked by themes of rape by deception: in each one, some m ...
" * " My Uncle Oswald" * " The Visitor"


References


External links

* {{DEFAULTSORT:Bitch (Short Story) Short stories by Roald Dahl Short stories set in Paris 1974 short stories Works originally published in Playboy