Big Guns (Dad's Army)
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"Big Guns" is the seventh episode of the third series of the British comedy series ''
Dad's Army ''Dad's Army'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard (United Kingdom), Home Guard during the World War II, Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft (TV producer), David Crof ...
''. It was originally transmitted on 23 October 1969. The episode was recorded Sunday 6 July 1969.


Synopsis

The
platoon A platoon is a Military organization, military unit typically composed of two to four squads, Section (military unit), sections, or patrols. Platoon organization varies depending on the country and the Military branch, branch, but a platoon can ...
is given heavy artillery and, directly in the line of fire of their naval gun, the town's
bandstand A bandstand (sometimes music kiosk) is a circular, semicircular or polygonal structure set in a park, garden, pier, or indoor space, designed to accommodate musical bands performing concerts. A simple construction, it both creates an ornamen ...
is at grave risk.


Plot

Captain Mainwaring and Sergeant Wilson are discussing a church parade in the Vicar's office when they are interrupted by the Verger, accompanied by an official from
Pickfords Pickfords is a moving company based in the United Kingdom, part of Pickfords Move Management Ltd. The business is believed to have been founded in the 17th century, making it one of the UK's oldest functioning companies, although the similar S ...
, complaining that a large artillery gun has been left in the yard. It is revealed to be a 13 pounder naval gun and Mainwaring is very impressed. Jones explains that when he was in
the Sudan Sudan, officially the Republic of the Sudan, is a country in Northeast Africa. It borders the Central African Republic to the southwest, Chad to the west, Libya to the northwest, Egypt to the north, the Red Sea to the east, Eritrea and Ethio ...
, the only heavy weapons they used were
Gatling gun The Gatling gun is a rapid-firing multiple-barrel firearm invented in 1861 by Richard Jordan Gatling of North Carolina. It is an early machine gun and a forerunner of the modern electric motor-driven rotary cannon. The Gatling gun's operatio ...
s. Mainwaring calls in Frazer, who was in the navy, to tell them how the gun works, but Frazer reveals that, despite being present at the
Battle of Jutland The Battle of Jutland () was a naval battle between Britain's Royal Navy Grand Fleet, under Admiral John Jellicoe, 1st Earl Jellicoe, Sir John Jellicoe, and the Imperial German Navy's High Seas Fleet, under Vice-Admiral Reinhard Scheer, durin ...
and a
chief petty officer A chief petty officer (CPO) is a senior non-commissioned officer in many navies and coast guards, usually above petty officer. By country Australia "Chief Petty Officer" is the second highest non-commissioned rank in the Royal Australian Navy ...
, he was only a cook. Fortunately, the man from Pickfords returns with an instruction manual, and Mainwaring begins to read it. The platoon is each assigned different positions, with amusing consequences. However, they cannot open the
breech Breech may refer to: * Breech (firearms), the opening at the rear of a gun barrel where the cartridge is inserted in a breech-loading weapon * breech, the lower part of a pulley block * breech, the penetration of a boiler where exhaust gases leave ...
until the verger reveals that they had the safety catch on, to the indignation of the platoon. Eventually, as they attempt to rehearse the drill, Mainwaring calls out the range and inclination, but ends up standing directly in front of the gun's barrel, so when he gives the order to fire, Jones calls out "I wouldn't do that, sir!". The next day, the platoon organise a TEWT (Tactical Exercise Without Troops) and make a miniature version of Walmington to test their new battle strategy, using, among other things, a powder puff, a scrubbing brush and a bottle of whisky. Mainwaring orders the destruction of the cricket scoreboard (much to Wilson's annoyance), the allotments (to Frazer's disapproval) and the bandstand (to the dismay of Jones, who reveals that he was present when it was erected and dedicated to
Queen Victoria Victoria (Alexandrina Victoria; 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901) was Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20 June 1837 until Death and state funeral of Queen Victoria, her death in January 1901. Her reign of 63 year ...
) within 48 hours. He tells Wilson he is meeting with Mr Rees, the Town Clerk, to confirm it. However, Mr Rees is less than pleased, and asks for a demonstration. On the day of the demonstration, Jones and a sneezing Pike arrive with camouflage netting to put over the gun. After Mr Rees arrives, the platoon gather around the gun before Mainwaring gives the command "enemy tank right! Action!". The men jump to it, but as the gun is covered by the camouflage net, it proves to be the downfall of the platoon as they all become entangled in the net whilst attempting to remove it. Mr Rees has had enough at this point and promises to tell his committee that "they can sleep sound in their beds, provided they make them inside that enemy tank".


Cast

*
Arthur Lowe Arthur Lowe (22 September 1915 – 15 April 1982) was an English actor. His acting career spanned 37 years, including starring roles in numerous theatre and television productions. He played Captain Mainwaring in the British sitcom ''Dad ...
as
Captain Mainwaring Captain George Mainwaring () is a fictional Home Guard captain, first portrayed by Arthur Lowe in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. In the 2016 film he is played by Toby Jones and in the 2019 remake of three missing episodes he is pla ...
*
John Le Mesurier John Le Mesurier (, born John Elton Le Mesurier Halliley; 5 April 191215 November 1983) was an English actor. He is probably best remembered for his comedic role as Sergeant Arthur Wilson in the BBC television situation com ...
as
Sergeant Wilson Sergeant Arthur Wilson is a fictional Home Guard platoon sergeant and bank chief clerk, first portrayed by John Le Mesurier in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. Background Wilson was born in 1887, and is carefree, cheerful and well-s ...
*
Clive Dunn Clive Robert Bertram Dunn (born Robert Bertram Dunn; 9 January 19206 November 2012) was an English actor. Although he was only 48 and one of the youngest cast members, he was cast in a role many years his senior, as the elderly Lance Corporal ...
as
Lance Corporal Jones Lance Corporal Jack Jones is a fictional British Home Guard, Home Guard platoon lance corporal and veteran of the British Empire, first portrayed by Clive Dunn in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. His catchphrases are "Don't panic!", "Pe ...
*
John Laurie John Paton Laurie (25 March 1897 – 23 June 1980) was a Scottish stage, film, and television actor. He appeared in scores of feature films with directors including Alfred Hitchcock, David Lean, Michael Powell and Laurence Olivier, generally p ...
as
Private Frazer Private James Frazer is a fictional Home Guard platoon member and undertaker, first portrayed by John Laurie in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He is noted for his catchphrases "We're doomed!" and "Rubbish!" Characterisation It is men ...
*
James Beck Stanley James Carroll Beck (21 February 1929 – 6 August 1973) was an English television actor. He appeared in a number of programmes, but is best known for the role of Private Walker, a cockney spiv, in the BBC sitcom ''Dad's Army'' from th ...
as
Private Walker Private Joe Walker is a fictional black market spiv (or "wholesales supplier", as he describes it) and Home Guard platoon member, first portrayed by James Beck in the British television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. Appearing in the first six series, ...
*
Arnold Ridley William Arnold Ridley (7 January 1896 – 12 March 1984) was an English playwright and actor, known early in his career for writing the 1925 play '' The Ghost Train'' and later in life for the British television sitcom ''Dad's Army'' (1968–77 ...
as
Private Godfrey Private Charles Godfrey MM is a fictional Home Guard soldier, first portrayed by Arnold Ridley in the British television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He is retired and was previously a tailor for the Civil Service Stores or the Army & Navy Stores. ...
*
Ian Lavender Arthur Ian Lavender (16 February 1946 – 2 February 2024) was an English stage, film and television actor. He is best known for his role as Private Pike in ''Dad's Army'', a BBC sitcom set during World War II, of which he was the last survivi ...
as
Private Pike Private Frank Pike is a fictional Home Guard private and junior bank clerk, first portrayed by actor Ian Lavender in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He was appointed as the platoon's information officer by Captain Mainwaring in " The ...
*
Edward Sinclair Edward Sinclair may refer to: * Edward Sinclair (cricketer) (1889–1966), English cricketer and Royal Navy officer *Edward Sinclair (actor) (1914–1977), English actor *Edward Sinclair (swimmer) Edward Sinclair (born 1980) is Double Olympian ...
as The Verger * Edward Evans as Mr Rees, the Town Clerk *
Don Estelle Don Estelle (22 May 1933 – 2 August 2003) was an English actor and singer, best known as Gunner "Lofty" Sugden in '' It Ain't Half Hot Mum''. Early life Born Ronald Edwards in Crumpsall, Manchester, he was brought up in a house on Russe ...
as The Pickfords Man *Roy Denton as Mr Bennett


Further reading

*


External links

* * {{Dad's Army Dad's Army series 3 episodes 1969 British television episodes