Any Old Iron (song)
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"Any Old Iron" is a
British British may refer to: Peoples, culture, and language * British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories and Crown Dependencies. * British national identity, the characteristics of British people and culture ...
music hall Music hall is a type of British theatrical entertainment that was most popular from the early Victorian era, beginning around 1850, through the World War I, Great War. It faded away after 1918 as the halls rebranded their entertainment as Varie ...
song A song is a musical composition performed by the human voice. The voice often carries the melody (a series of distinct and fixed pitches) using patterns of sound and silence. Songs have a structure, such as the common ABA form, and are usu ...
with lyrics written by Charles Collins and Fred E. Terry, and music by E.A. Sheppard. Harry Champion sang it as part of his act, and recorded it in 1911. The song title and refrain is a pun on the traditional cry of the rag-and-bone trade. The song may also be a coded reference to the singer as a gay man, or a man taken to be gay. In
Cockney rhyming slang Rhyming slang is a form of slang word construction in the English language. It is especially prevalent among Cockneys in England, and was first used in the early 19th century in the East End of London; hence its alternative name, Cockney rhymi ...
, ''iron'' means a gay man (''iron'' = ''iron hoof'' = ''poof''), gay men had adopted a green tie as their badge, and a fob watch and chain was dapper dressing. The song begins with the singer thinking "I look a dandy" being followed by "a lot of kiddies" shouting at him "Any Old Iron". The song is understood this way by Albert Steptoe, a rag-and-bone man, in the TV comedy
Steptoe and Son ''Steptoe and Son'' is a British sitcom written by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson about a father-and-son rag-and-bone business in 26a Oil Drum Lane, a fictional street in Shepherd's Bush, London. Four series were broadcast by the BBC in black a ...
, Series 5, broadcast in 1970.


Other versions

* In 1957,
Peter Sellers Peter Sellers (born Richard Henry Sellers; 8 September 1925 – 24 July 1980) was an English actor and comedian. He first came to prominence performing in the BBC Radio comedy series ''The Goon Show''. Sellers featured on a number of hit comi ...
recorded a rendition in a voice he created for ''
The Goon Show ''The Goon Show'' is a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme. The first series, broadcast from 28 May to 20 September ...
'', Willium "Mate" Cobblers. It reached No. 17 in the UK Singles Chart that year. Sellers had previously performed it as Major Dennis Bloodnok (with
Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet, playwright and actor. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Raj, British India, where he spent his ...
as Minnie Bannister) in a 1954 episode of ''The Goon Show'' titled " The Booted Gorilla". * Davy Jones, later of
The Monkees The Monkees were an American pop rock band formed in Los Angeles in the mid-1960s. The band consisted of Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones (musician), Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith, and Peter Tork. Spurred by the success of ''The Monkees (TV series), Th ...
, performed a version on '' David Jones'', a 1965 solo album. * It was performed on ''
The Muppet Show ''The Muppet Show'' is a variety sketch comedy television series created by Jim Henson and starring the Muppets. It is presented as a variety show, featuring recurring sketches and musical numbers interspersed with ongoing plot-lines with ru ...
'' by
Kermit the Frog Kermit the Frog is a Muppet character created in 1955 and originally performed by Jim Henson. An anthropomorphic green frog, Kermit is the pragmatic everyman protagonist of numerous Muppet productions, most notably as the showrunner and host o ...
, joined by
Fozzie Bear Fozzie Bear is a Muppet character from the sketch comedy television series ''The Muppet Show'', best known as the insecure and comedically fruitless stand-up comic''.'' Fozzie is an orange-brown bear who often wears a brown pork pie hat and a ...
, two
whatnot Whatnot is a live-stream shopping platform where users can buy and sell in online video auctions. History Whatnot was founded in 2019 by Grant LaFontaine and Logan Head. The platform includes selling categories of collectibles, fashion, beauty, ...
s, and the audience. eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John)">Elton_John.html" ;"title="eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John">eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John)* It was performed by Roger Daltrey, accompanied by The Chieftains, in Belfast, Northern Ireland in 1992. A recording of the performance appears on the album ''An Irish Evening''. * It was included in ''The Boy Friend (1971 film), The Boy Friend'', Ken Russell, Ken Russell's 1971 film version of the musical by
Sandy Wilson Alexander Galbraith "Sandy" Wilson (19 May 1924 – 27 August 2014) was an English composer and lyricist, best known for his musical '' The Boy Friend'' (1953). Biography Wilson was born in Sale, Cheshire, England, and was educated at Harrow ...
. * There is a scene in
Richard Attenborough Richard Samuel Attenborough, Baron Attenborough (; 29 August 192324 August 2014) was an English actor, film director, and Film producer, producer. Attenborough was the president of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA) and the British Acade ...
's 1992 biopic ''
Chaplin Chaplin may refer to: People * Charlie Chaplin (1889–1977), English comedy film actor and director * Chaplin (name), other people named Chaplin Films * ''Unknown Chaplin'' (1983) * Chaplin (film), ''Chaplin'' (film) (1992) * Chaplin (2011 fi ...
'' where Charlie and Syd meet just before Charlie's audition for music hall impresario Mr. Karno, they greet each other by singing the chorus to "Any Old Iron". * It was also sung by
Chas and Dave Chas & Dave (often billed as Chas 'n' Dave) were an English pop rock duo, formed in London by Chas Hodges and Dave Peacock. They were most notable as creators and performers of a musical style labelled ''rockney'' (a portmanteau of '' rock'' ...
on their 2015 album ''"Enjoy Yourself" (The Complete Jamboree Bag)''. *In one episode of ''
Are You Being Served? ''Are You Being Served?'' is a British television sitcom that was broadcast from 1972 to 1985. It was created and written by David Croft (TV producer), David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd. Croft also served as executive producer and television directo ...
'', "The Hand of Fate", Mr. Mash cannot find the owner of a shipment of 27 galvanized buckets, and starts singing the song and accompanying himself by rattling the buckets around. * The Barron Knights used the tune and some of the lyrics of the song in a satire on punk, in the late 1970s. * The band Snuff included the song as a previously unreleased track on their 2005 compilation: ''Six Of One, Half A Dozen Of The Other 1986-2002''. * British comedian
Bill Bailey Mark Robert Bailey (born 13 January 1965), known professionally as Bill Bailey, is an English musician, comedian, actor and television presenter. He is known for his role as Manny in the sitcom '' Black Books'' (2000–2004), and for his regula ...
, along with the
BBC Concert Orchestra The BBC Concert Orchestra is a British concert orchestra based in London, one of the British Broadcasting Corporation's five radio orchestras. With around fifty players, it is the only one of the five BBC orchestras which is not a full-scale sym ...
, as part of his live show "Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra", mixed the song in as part of a "Cockney Arrangement" of the "
William Tell Overture The ''William Tell'' Overture is the overture to the opera '' William Tell'' (original French title ''Guillaume Tell''), composed by Gioachino Rossini. ''William Tell'' premiered in 1829 and was the last of Rossini's 39 operas, after which he w ...
". *Somerset band
The Wurzels The Wurzels are an English Scrumpy and Western band from Somerset, best known for their number one hit " The Combine Harvester" and number three hit " I Am a Cider Drinker" in 1976. Name The name of the band was dreamt up by founder Adge C ...
sample the song's melody in their song Blackbird. *The song was used, with different lyrics, in
television advertisement A television advertisement (also called a commercial, spot, break, advert, or ad) is a span of television programming produced and paid for by an organization. It conveys a message promoting, and aiming to market, a product, service or idea. ...
s for
Hammerite Hammerite is a brand of hammer paint made by Hammerite Products, a subsidiary of AkzoNobel. Company history Hammerite paint was first developed in 1962 by Allen Forster and later manufactured at the Finnigan's factory in Prudhoe, Northumberla ...
and Smoothrite paint.. Retrieved 30 June 2021. *In the
T-Bag ''T-Bag'' is a British television series about the eponymous witch-like character and her assistant, T-Shirt. The series ran from 1985 to 1992 on Children's ITV. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman, each series adopted a different title ...
series; 'T-Bag and the Revenge of the T-Set', in the third episode ('Lost in Space') the character; T-shirt starts singing the first part of the song when T-Bag is using a metal detector. * There is a sequence in the movie '' Yellow Submarine'' when the "real"
Beatles The Beatles were an English Rock music, rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960. The core lineup of the band comprised John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. They are widely regarded as the Cultural impact of the Beatle ...
are confronted with their look-alikes trapped in a blue glass sphere, inspiring
John John is a common English name and surname: * John (given name) * John (surname) John may also refer to: New Testament Works * Gospel of John, a title often shortened to John * First Epistle of John, often shortened to 1 John * Second E ...
to go off on an abstruse invocation of Einstein's
Theory of relativity The theory of relativity usually encompasses two interrelated physics theories by Albert Einstein: special relativity and general relativity, proposed and published in 1905 and 1915, respectively. Special relativity applies to all physical ph ...
, to which
Paul Paul may refer to: People * Paul (given name), a given name, including a list of people * Paul (surname), a list of people * Paul the Apostle, an apostle who wrote many of the books of the New Testament * Ray Hildebrand, half of the singing duo ...
's response is to sing "Any old Ein! Any old Ein! Any any any old Einstein!" * Scunthorpe United F.C. ("The Iron") have adopted this song, and it is played before all of their home games. * In ''
Top Gear Top Gear may refer to: * "Top gear", the highest gear available in a vehicle's manual transmission Television * ''Top Gear'' (1977 TV series), a British motoring magazine programme * ''Top Gear'' (2002 TV series), a relaunched version of the ori ...
'' Series 18, Jeremy and James sing the song in jest as Richard drives the old style Morgan 3-Wheeler through a corner. *In the 2001
Steven Spielberg Steven Allan Spielberg ( ; born December 18, 1946) is an American filmmaker. A major figure of the New Hollywood era and pioneer of the modern blockbuster, Spielberg is widely regarded as one of the greatest film directors of all time and is ...
movie ''
A.I. Artificial Intelligence ''A.I. Artificial Intelligence'' (or simply ''A.I.'') is a 2001 American science fiction drama film directed by Steven Spielberg. The screenplay by Spielberg and screen story by Ian Watson are loosely based on the 1969 short story " Supertoy ...
'', while the rejected robots are being chased by the bikers for a "Flesh Fair", the commander of the illuminated hot-air balloon is repeatedly saying over a loudspeaker "Any old iron".


References

{{authority control 1911 songs British songs Music hall songs Songs with music by Charles Collins (songwriter)