Marriage vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a

wedding ceremony A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vo ...

based upon

Western Christian Western Christianity is one of two sub-divisions of Christianity (Eastern Christianity being the other). Western Christianity is composed of the Latin Church and Western Protestantism, together with their offshoots such as the Old Catholic ...

norms. They are not universal to marriage and not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. They are not even universal within Christian marriage, as Eastern Christians do not have marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.

Background

In the time of the

Roman Empire The Roman Empire ( la, Imperium Romanum ; grc-gre, Βασιλεία τῶν Ῥωμαίων, Basileía tôn Rhōmaíōn) was the post- Republican period of ancient Rome. As a polity, it included large territorial holdings around the Mediter ...

(17 BC476 AD) the lower classes had "free" marriages. The

bride A bride is a woman who is about to be married or who is newlywed. When marrying, the bride's future spouse, (if male) is usually referred to as the '' bridegroom'' or just ''groom''. In Western culture, a bride may be attended by a maid, bri ...

's father would deliver her to the groom, and the two agreed that they were wed, and would keep the vow of

marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...

by mutual consent. Wealthy Romans, though, would sign documents listing property rights to publicly declare that their union was legalized and not a

common law marriage Common-law marriage, also known as non-ceremonial marriage, marriage, informal marriage, or marriage by habit and repute, is a legal framework where a couple may be considered married without having formally registered their relation as a civil ...

. This was the beginning of the official recording of marriage. The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church. In England, there were manuals of the dioceses of Salisbury ( Sarum) and

York York is a cathedral city with Roman origins, sited at the confluence of the rivers Ouse and Foss in North Yorkshire, England. It is the historic county town of Yorkshire. The city has many historic buildings and other structures, such as a ...

. The compilers of the first ''Book of Common Prayer'', published in 1549, based its marriage service mainly on the Sarum manual. Upon agreement to marry, the

Church of England The Church of England (C of E) is the established Christian church in England and the mother church of the international Anglican Communion. It traces its history to the Christian church recorded as existing in the Roman province of Britai ...

usually offered couples a choice. The couple could promise each other to "

love Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. An example of this range of meanings is that the love o ...

and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".

Christianity

Roman Catholic

Couples wedding in the

Latin Rite Latin liturgical rites, or Western liturgical rites, are Catholic rites of public worship employed by the Latin Church, the largest particular church '' sui iuris'' of the Catholic Church, that originated in Europe where the Latin language once ...

of the

Roman Catholic Church The Catholic Church, also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the largest Christian church, with 1.3 billion baptized Catholics worldwide . It is among the world's oldest and largest international institutions, and has played a ...

essentially make the same pledge to one another. According to the Rite of Marriage (#25) the customary text in English is:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

In the United States, Catholic wedding vows may also take the following form:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

The priest will then say aloud "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen." Historically, in the Sarum Rite of the Catholic Church, vow of the wife reads as follows:

N. Vis habere hunc uirum in sponsum et illi obedire et servire et eum diligere et honorare ac custodire sanum et infirmum sicut sponsa debet sponsum, etc.

In English, the bride says:

Ich .N. take the .N. to my weddyd housbonde to hau and to holden fro this day forward, for bettere, for wers, for richere for porere, in seknesse and in helthe to be boneyre and buxsum in bedde and at borde, tyl deth us departe, zif holi cherche hit wyle ordeyne and there to y plight the my treuthe.

Lutheran

The wedding vows used in the Lutheran Churches are as follows:

Anglican

The law in England authorizes marriages to be legal if properly carried out and registered in the Church of England and some other religious bodies (e.g. Jewish, Quakers): other men and women who wish to marry can be married by a local official authorized to do so (civil ceremony). Circumstances may result in the same partners having both ceremonies at different times, though this is rare. The vows, presence of witnesses, and civil registration are absolute requirements under the law. Civil ceremonies often allow couples to choose their own marriage vows, although many civil marriage vows are adapted from the traditional vows, taken from the

Book of Common Prayer The ''Book of Common Prayer'' (BCP) is the name given to a number of related prayer books used in the Anglican Communion and by other Christian churches historically related to Anglicanism. The original book, published in 1549 in the reign ...

, "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." They were first published in English in the prayer book of 1549, based on earlier Latin texts (the Sarum and York Rituals of the medieval period). An older version of the final phrase is " until death us depart" where "depart" means "separate". "Until death us depart" had to be changed due to changes in the usage of "depart" in the Prayer Book of 1662. In the 1928 prayer book (not authorized) and in editions of the 1662 prayer book printed thereafter "obey" was retained (in the 1928 book an alternative version omitted this). The 1928 revised form of Matrimony was quite widely adopted, though the form of 1662 was also widely used, though less so after the introduction of the

Alternative Service Book The ''Alternative Service Book 1980'' (''ASB'') was the first complete prayer book produced by the Church of England since 1662. Its name derives from the fact that it was proposed not as a replacement for the 1662 ''Book of Common Prayer'' (B ...

. The original wedding vows, as printed in The

, are:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. An example of this range of meanings is that the love o ...
and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my
troth Troth may refer to: * An alternate form of truth, especially in the medieval sense * Troth (surname) * Troth Yeddha', a landform in the Fairbanks North Star Borough, Alaska * The Troth, an American Asatru organization *Troth's Fortune Troth' ...
.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, he says the following:

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

In the Alternative Service Book (1980) two versions of the vows are included: the bride and groom must select one of the versions only. Version A:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

Version B is identical except for the clause "to love and to cherish" where the groom says "to love, cherish, and worship" and the bride says "to love, cherish, and obey". Since 2000 the service in Common Worship the normal vows are as follows:

I, ''N'', take you, ''N'', to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.

However, the bride and groom may choose to replace the clause "to love and to cherish" with "to love, cherish, and obey" when the bride makes her vows. On September 12, 1922, the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows. Other churches of the Anglican Communion each have their own authorized prayer books which in general follow the vows described above though the details and languages used do vary.

Quaker

In the

United Kingdom The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, commonly known as the United Kingdom (UK) or Britain, is a country in Europe, off the north-western coast of the European mainland, continental mainland. It comprises England, Scotlan ...

, since the first law regulating marriage (the

Marriage Act 1753 The Clandestine Marriages Act 1753, also called the Marriage Act 1753, long title "An Act for the Better Preventing of Clandestine Marriage", popularly known as Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act (citation 26 Geo. II. c. 33), was the first statutor ...

), the state recognises marriages conducted by the " Society of Friends" (Quakers), Jews, and the

. The declarations made in Quaker marriage were first set down in a

London Yearly Meeting The Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Britain, also known as the Britain Yearly Meeting (and, until 1995, the London Yearly Meeting), is a Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in England, Sc ...

minute in 1675 as such:

Man: Friends, in the fear of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take my friend ''AB'' to be my wife, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us.

Woman: Friends, in the fear of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take my friend ''CD'' to be my husband, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us.

The procedure is restated in a minute of

of 1754, and the declarations remained the same until the twentieth century. In July 1922, the Committee on the Marriage Declaration was set up, and this reported to London Yearly Meeting in 1923, and after reference to a further committee the final phrase was changed to ''as long as we both on earth shall live''; although the option of ''until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us'' remained as an alternative. The current declarations allowed in

Britain Yearly Meeting The Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Britain, also known as the Britain Yearly Meeting (and, until 1995, the London Yearly Meeting), is a Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in England, S ...

is:

Friends, I take this my friend
ame #REDIRECT AME {{redirect category shell, {{R from other capitalisation{{R from ambiguous page ...
to be my spouse, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto him/her a loving and faithful spouse, so long as we both on earth shall live.

The following alternatives are currently allowed: * The declaration may be prefaced by ''In the presence of God'' * The declaration may be prefaced by ''In the fear of the Lord and in the presence of this assembly'' * The word ''spouse'' may be replaced by ''wife'' or ''husband'' as appropriate or by ''partner in marriage'' * The phrase ''through divine assistance'' may be replaced by the words ''with God’s help'' * The phrase ''so long as we both on earth shall live'' may be replaced by the words ''until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us'' * The declaration may be made in Welsh in "places where the Welsh tongue is used"

Civil marriage

England and Wales

Whilst couples may add to these, under the

Marriage Act 1949 The Marriage Act 1949 (12, 13 & 14 Geo 6 c 76) is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom regulating marriages in England and Wales. The Act had prohibited solemnizing marriages during evenings and at night. Since the Marriage Act 1836 i ...

, all civil marriage in

England and Wales England and Wales () is one of the three legal jurisdictions of the United Kingdom. It covers the constituent countries England and Wales and was formed by the Laws in Wales Acts 1535 and 1542. The substantive law of the jurisdiction is Eng ...

, and marriage by an authorised person (this includes religious marriage not carried out by the Anglican church,

Jewish Jews ( he, יְהוּדִים, , ) or Jewish people are an ethnoreligious group and nation originating from the Israelites Israelite origins and kingdom: "The first act in the long drama of Jewish history is the age of the Israelites""The ...

or Society of Friends (Quakers)), must include the following declaration and contracting words:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I ____ may not be joined in matrimony to ____.

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I ____ do take thee ____ to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband.

The ''Marriage Ceremony (Prescribed Words) Act 1996'' allowed an alternative declaration of either:

I declare that I know of no legal reason why I ____ may not be joined in marriage to ____.

''Registrar/Minister'': Are you ____ free lawfully to marry ____
''Man/Woman'': I am.

and an alternative of the contracting words of:

I ____ take you/thee ____ to be my wedded wife/husband.

History

The wedding vows as practised in most English-speaking countries derive ultimately from the Sarum rite of mediaeval England. The first part of the vows of the Sarum rite is given in Latin, but is instructed to be said by the priest "in linguam materna", i.e. in the "mother tongue" of those present. The vows of the first English prayer book of 1549 mostly correspond to those of the Sarum rite.