Victim playing (also known as playing the victim, victim card, or self-victimization) is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to

manipulate Manipulation may refer to: * Manipulation (psychology) - the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way *Crowd manipulation - use of crowd psychology to direct the behavior of a crowd toward a specific action ::* Internet mani ...

others, a coping strategy,

attention seeking Attention seeking behavior is to act in a way that is likely to elicit attention. Attention seeking behavior is defined in the DSM-5 as "engaging in behavior designed to attract notice and to make oneself the focus of others’ attention and admir ...

or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a "professional victim".

For abuse

Victim playing by abusers is either: *

Dehumanization Dehumanization is the denial of full humanness in others and the cruelty and suffering that accompanies it. A practical definition refers to it as the viewing and treatment of other persons as though they lack the mental capacities that are c ...

, diverting attention away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim). * Grooming for abusive power and control by soliciting

sympathy Sympathy is the perception of, understanding of, and reaction to the distress or need of another life form. According to David Hume, this sympathetic concern is driven by a switch in viewpoint from a personal perspective to the perspective of an ...

from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or

enabling In psychotherapy and mental health, enabling has a positive sense of empowering individuals, or a negative sense of encouraging dysfunctional behavior.Justification, to themselves, in

transactional analysis Transactional Analysis (TA) is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy wherein social interactions (or “transactions”) are analyzed to determine the ego state of the communicator (whether parent-like, childlike, or adult-like) as a b ...

known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the

cognitive dissonance In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person's actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environmen ...

that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves. * Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.

For manipulation

Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain

pity Pity is a sympathetic sorrow evoked by the suffering of others, and is used in a comparable sense to ''compassion'', '' condolence'' or ''empathy'' – the word deriving from the Latin ''pietas'' (etymon also of ''piety''). Self-pity is pity ...

or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation. While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time: :Victims’ talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims’ miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated — and walk away.

In political context

While failing to produce any affirmative values, the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood, as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanović, seeing it in the post- Yugoslav context as a form of auto-colonialism, where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes, being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear, affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening

ethnonationalism Ethnic nationalism, also known as ethnonationalism, is a form of nationalism wherein the nation and nationality are defined in terms of ethnicity, with emphasis on an ethnocentric (and in some cases an ethnocratic) approach to various politi ...

even more.

Other goals

Victim playing is also: * An attention-seeking technique (see for example Münchausen syndrome).

In corporate life

The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a potential weapon of all professionals. To define victim-players as dishonest may be an empowering response; as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlie the tactic. In the hustle of

office politics Workplace politics is the process and behavior that in human interactions involves power and authority. It is also a tool to assess the operational capacity and to balance diverse views of interested parties. It is also known as office politics and ...

, the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player.

Underlying psychology

Transactional analysis Transactional Analysis (TA) is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy wherein social interactions (or “transactions”) are analyzed to determine the ego state of the communicator (whether parent-like, childlike, or adult-like) as a b ...

distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith, ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation. Among the predictable interpersonal "games" psychiatrist Eric Berne identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".

R. D. Laing Ronald David Laing (7 October 1927 – 23 August 1989), usually cited as R. D. Laing, was a Scottish psychiatrist who wrote extensively on mental illnessin particular, the experience of psychosis. Laing's views on the causes and treatment o ...

considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'", and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a

double bind A double bind is a dilemma in communication in which an individual (or group) receives two or more reciprocally conflicting messages. In some scenarios (e.g. within families or romantic relationships) this can be emotionally distressing, creatin ...

. Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a

false self The true self (also known as real self, authentic self, original self and vulnerable self) and the false self (also known as fake self, idealized self, superficial self and pseudo self) are a psychological dualism conceptualized by English psychoa ...

can create a permanent sense of victimisation – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate. To break the hold of the negative

complex Complex commonly refers to: * Complexity, the behaviour of a system whose components interact in multiple ways so possible interactions are difficult to describe ** Complex system, a system composed of many components which may interact with each ...

, and to escape the passivity of victimhood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.

Polly Young-Eisendrath Polly Young-Eisendrath (born 1947) is an American psychologist, author, teacher, speaker, Jungian analyst, Zen Buddhist, and the founder of ''Dialogue Therapy'' and Real Dialogue' and creator of the podcast ''Enemies: From War to Wisdom''. She has ...

, ''Women and Desire'' (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30

References

*Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers; The People Skills You Need to Succeed (2012) p. 60 and p. 43

External links

''Booknotes'' interview with Charles Sykes on ''A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character'', November 29, 1992
{{DEFAULTSORT:Victim Playing Abuse Anti-social behaviour Bullying Deception Diversionary tactics Human behavior Mind control Pejorative terms Problem behavior Psychological abuse Terrorism tactics Victimology