''Vampires Suck'' is a 2010 American

parody A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its sub ...

vampire film Vampire films have been a staple in world cinema since the era of silent films, so much so that the depiction of vampires in popular culture is strongly based upon their depiction in films throughout the years. The most popular cinematic adaptat ...

written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It stars Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Christopher N. Riggi,

Ken Jeong Kendrick Kang-Joh Jeong (, ; born July 13, 1969) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, producer, writer and licensed physician. He rose to prominence for playing Leslie Chow in ''The Hangover'' film series (2009–2013) and Ben Chang in the ...

Anneliese van der Pol Anneliese Louise van der Pol (born September 23, 1984) is a Dutch-born American actress and singer. She is known for her theatre work, and for starring as Chelsea Daniels on the Disney Channel series ''That's So Raven'' (2003–2007) and its sp ...

, and

Arielle Kebbel Arielle Caroline Kebbel (born February 19, 1985) is an American actress and model. She has appeared in various television series, including ''Gilmore Girls'' (2003–2004), ''The Vampire Diaries'' (2009–2017), ''Life Unexpected'' (2010), ''90 ...

. The film is a parody of '' The Twilight Saga'' franchise (mainly the

original film Original Film is an American film and television production company founded by Neal H. Moritz. Notable films the company has produced include the ''Fast & Furious'' franchise. History Original Film was started out in the early 1990s by Neal ...

and its sequel, ''

New Moon In astronomy, the new moon is the first lunar phase, when the Moon and Sun have the same ecliptic longitude. At this phase, the lunar disk is not visible to the naked eye, except when it is silhouetted against the Sun during a solar ecl ...

''). Like the previous Friedberg and Seltzer movies, the film was panned by critics for its humor and plot.Vampires Suck on Facebook (official page),
Info
. Retrieved July 12, 2010.

20th Century Fox 20th Century Studios, Inc. (previously known as 20th Century Fox) is an American film production company headquartered at the Fox Studio Lot in the Century City area of Los Angeles. As of 2019, it serves as a film production arm of Walt Disn ...

theatrically released the film on August 18, 2010.

Plot

Edward Sullen strips off his clothes during the saint Salvatore festival while Becca Crane rushes to stop him. While running through a fountain, she accidentally splashes water around, causing people to party in the fountain and thus stopping Becca. In a flashback, Becca Crane moves to the Pacific Northwestern town of Sporks to live with her clueless father, Sheriff Frank, after her mother starts an affair with

Tiger Woods Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods (born December 30, 1975) is an American professional golfer. He is tied for first in PGA Tour wins, ranks second in men's major championships, and holds numerous golf records. * * * Woods is widely regarded as ...

. Meanwhile, a killing spree is attributed to the Canadians, but the real perpetrators are a group of vampires usually mistaken for the

Black Eyed Peas Black Eyed Peas (also known as The Black Eyed Peas) is an American musical group consisting of rappers will.i.am, apl.de.ap, Taboo. The group's line-up during the height of their popularity in the 2000s featured Fergie, who replaced Kim H ...

. Becca quickly befriends many students at her new high school, including Jennifer. She is also intrigued by the mysterious and aloof Edward Sullen, whose odd behavior perplexes her during their

biology Biology is the scientific study of life. It is a natural science with a broad scope but has several unifying themes that tie it together as a single, coherent field. For instance, all organisms are made up of cells that process hereditary ...

class. Later, when Becca is nearly struck by a van in the school parking lot, Edward stops the vehicle by thrusting another student in the van's way. Becca later "dreams" Edward was in her room; in truth he is, but is repulsed by things she does while sleeping. After much research and thought, Becca confronts Edward and tells him she thinks that he is one of the

Jonas Brothers The Jonas Brothers () are an American pop rock band. Formed in 2005, they gained popularity from their appearances on the Disney Channel television network. They consist of three brothers: Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, and Nick Jonas. Raised in ...

. Edward corrects her, saying he is a

vampire A vampire is a mythical creature that subsists by feeding on the Vitalism, vital essence (generally in the form of blood) of the living. In European folklore, vampires are undead, undead creatures that often visited loved ones and caused mi ...

but that he only consumes animal blood. Despite the danger of being around a vampire, Becca agrees to go to prom with Edward. Later, Becca and Edward kiss passionately in her room. Becca attempts to seduce Edward into having sex, but he abstains. On Becca's birthday, Edward introduces her to his vampire family. While unwrapping a gift, Becca gets a paper cut. Edward's brother Jeremiah attempts to bite her, but is knocked away. To keep his family away from Becca, Edward distracts them and takes her out to the woods. He then proceeds to break up with Becca, who throws a

tantrum A tantrum, temper tantrum, lash out, meltdown, fit or hissy fit is an emotional outburst, usually associated with those in emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, violence, defiance, angry ranting ...

after he leaves. Much to her expectance, Becca is attacked by three nomadic vampires, but Edward intervenes and saves her. Edward's departure leaves Becca heartbroken for months, but she is comforted by her deepening friendship with her childhood friend Jacob White. When Becca is accosted in the woods by the nomadic vampires again, Jacob transforms into a

Chihuahua Chihuahua may refer to: Places * Chihuahua (state), a Mexican state **Chihuahua (dog), a breed of dog named after the state **Chihuahua cheese, a type of cheese originating in the state **Chihuahua City, the capital city of the state **Chihuahua Mu ...

as his werewolf pack arrives to save her. Meanwhile, Edward has moved to

Rio Rio or Río is the Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, and Maltese word for "river". When spoken on its own, the word often means Rio de Janeiro, a major city in Brazil. Rio or Río may also refer to: Geography Brazil * Rio de Janeiro * Rio do Sul, a ...

and is now dating

Lady Gaga Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta ( ; born March 28, 1986), known professionally as Lady Gaga, is an American singer, songwriter, and actress. She is known for her image reinventions and musical versatility. Gaga began performing as a teenag ...

to get over losing Becca. He is later informed by his sister Iris, via her gift of

prophecy In religion, a prophecy is a message that has been communicated to a person (typically called a ''prophet'') by a supernatural entity. Prophecies are a feature of many cultures and belief systems and usually contain divine will or law, or p ...

, that Becca killed herself. Edward becomes depressed and decides to provoke the " Zolturi", a powerful and narcissistic vampire coven, into killing him by exposing himself in the sunlight in front of humans, thus exposing the existence of vampires. Iris has another vision of Becca's survival as he leaves, but she is unable to warn him. Iris arrives at Becca's house, and tells her that she has to save Edward by showing him that she is still alive. To Becca's shock, the Zolturi are currently partying at the prom due to the St. Salvatore theme. Jacob appears and demands that Becca choose between him and Edward, but just before she announces her decision, he is distracted by a cat and runs off to chase it. Upon arriving at the prom, Becca is caught between the warring factions of Edward fangirls and Jacob fangirls. She is unable to reach Edward before he exposes himself, figuratively and literally. However,

twilight Twilight is light produced by sunlight scattering in the upper atmosphere, when the Sun is below the horizon, which illuminates the lower atmosphere and the Earth's surface. The word twilight can also refer to the periods of time when this i ...

occurs, followed by a

new moon In astronomy, the new moon is the first lunar phase, when the Moon and Sun have the same ecliptic longitude. At this phase, the lunar disk is not visible to the naked eye, except when it is silhouetted against the Sun during a solar ecl ...

and an

eclipse An eclipse is an astronomical event that occurs when an astronomical object or spacecraft is temporarily obscured, by passing into the shadow of another body or by having another body pass between it and the viewer. This alignment of three c ...

, concealing Edward's vampiric nature as Becca gets him to safety. Frank arrives to check on Becca, making her hopeful; however, he thinks supernatural creatures are the prom theme and leaves. After a fight between him and the Zolturi leader, Daro, Edward is forced to turn Becca into a vampire, at risk of being killed horribly. He agrees to do so only on the condition that she marry him, which she accepts. In the mid-credits scene, Edward is struck on the head by the leader of Jacob's fangirls. Edward survives the blow, and the girl is attacked by the newly vampirized Becca as the movie concludes.

Cast

* Jenn Proske as Becca Crane * Matt Lanter as Edward Sullen * Christopher N. Riggi as Jacob White *

as Daro *

as Jennifer *

Diedrich Bader Karl Diedrich Bader (born December 24, 1966) is an American actor and comedian who is best known for his comedy roles. He has appeared as a series regular in television sitcoms ''The Drew Carey Show'', '' American Housewife'', and '' Outsourced' ...

as Sheriff Frank Crane *

as Rachel *

B. J. Britt B. J. Britt (born April 20, 1982) is an African-American actor best known for his role as Antoine "Trip" Triplett on ''Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,'' set within the Marvel Cinematic Universe''.'' He is also known for his roles as Paul Patterson Jr. on ...

as Antoine * Charlie Weber as Jack *

Crista Flanagan Crista Flanagan (born February 24, 1976) is an American actress and comedian, best known for her work as a cast member on the Fox sketch comedy series ''MADtv'' from 2005 to 2009, various roles in films made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, ...

as Eden * Kelsey Legin (credited as Kelsey Ford) as Iris *

Jun Hee Lee Jun Hee Lee is an American actor. He was born in St. Louis, Missouri and attended Boston University. Acting career Jun Hee Lee's film roles include: "Derrick" in ''Vampires Suck'', "Jimmy" in '' American Pie: Band Camp'', the titular character i ...

as Derric * David DeLuise as Fisherman Scully *

Ike Barinholtz Isaac Barinholtz (born February 18, 1977) is an American actor, comedian, writer, director, and producer. He is best known for his starring roles in the comedy series ''MADtv'' (2002–2007), ''Eastbound & Down'' (2012), '' The Mindy Project'' (20 ...

as Bobby White (uncredited) * Dave Foley as Principal Smith * Randal Reeder as Biker Dude *

Nick Eversman Nicholas Eversman (born February 15, 1986) is an American actor, best known for his roles as Michael Winstone on the ABC mystery drama ''Missing'' and Liam Jones II on the ABC fantasy adventure drama ''Once Upon a Time "Once upon a time" is a ...

as Jeremiah Sullen *

Zane Holtz Zane-Ray Brodie Holtz (born January 18, 1987) is a Canadian actor and model. He is best known for playing Richie Gecko on the El Rey Network television series '' From Dusk till Dawn: The Series'' (2014–2016) and K.O. Kelly on The CW ''T ...

as Alex * Krystal Mayo as

Buffy the Vampire Slayer ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' is an American supernatural drama television series created by writer and director Joss Whedon. It is based on the 1992 film of the same name, also written by Whedon, although the events of the film are not consid ...

Parodies

Films and TV shows

* ''The Twilight Saga'' (main parody) (2008–2010) * ''

'' (1997–2003) * ''

True Blood ''True Blood'' is an American fantasy horror drama television series produced and created by Alan Ball. It is based on '' The Southern Vampire Mysteries'', a series of novels by Charlaine Harris. A reboot is currently in development. The ser ...

'' (2008–2014) * ''Alice in Wonderland'' (2010) * ''Jersey Shore'' (2009–2012) * ''

The Vampire Diaries ''The Vampire Diaries'' is an American supernatural teen drama television series developed by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name written by L. J. Smith. The series premiered on The CW on September 10, ...

'' (2007–2009)

Real-life people

Chris Brown Christopher Maurice Brown (born May 5, 1989) is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and actor. According to ''Billboard'', Brown is one of the most successful R&B singers of his generation, having often been referred to by many contempor ...

Release

''Vampires Suck'' was released on August 18, 2010, in the United States, Canada and Russia, on August 26 in Australia and on October 15 in the United Kingdom. 20th Century Fox did not provide advance screenings of the film for critics.

Critical response

Rotten Tomatoes Rotten Tomatoes is an American review-aggregation website for film and television. The company was launched in August 1998 by three undergraduate students at the University of California, Berkeley: Senh Duong, Patrick Y. Lee, and Stephen Wan ...

the film has an approval rating of 4% based on reviews from 91 critics. The consensus reads: "Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, ''Vampires Suck'' represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team."

Metacritic Metacritic is a website that aggregates reviews of films, TV shows, music albums, video games and formerly, books. For each product, the scores from each review are averaged (a weighted average). Metacritic was created by Jason Dietz, Marc ...

, gave it a weighted average score of 18 out of 100 based on reviews from 17 critics, indicating "overwhelming dislike", the worst score for a wide release in 2010. Audiences polled by

CinemaScore CinemaScore is a market research firm based in Las Vegas. It surveys film audiences to rate their viewing experiences with letter grades, reports the results, and forecasts box office receipts based on the data. Background Ed Mintz founded Ci ...

gave the film an average grade of "C+" on an A+ to F scale.

Spill.com Spill.com was a movie and video game review, discussion and news website. It was the continuation of the 9-year-old Austin, Texas-based public-access television cable TV show called '' The Reel Deal''. There were four main film critic contributo ...

, whose video reviews are usually around five minutes long and censored, had a twenty-second review which consisted of Korey Coleman staring blankly into the camera before uttering, "Fuck you" (which is the lowest rating the website gives) uncensored. In the audio commentary from the site, Coleman stated, "The films that these two directors make are so blatant at being nothing more than a juvenile finger pointing at an image or mention of a popular trend that, to me, they seem exploitive of a young culture raised to have an ever-decreasing attention span, thanks to the Internet and channel surfing and, this may sound a little crazy, but, I think it shows a slight de-evolution in what people will accept as entertainment."

Peter Travers Peter Joseph Travers (born ) is an American film critic, journalist, and television presenter. He reviews films for ABC News and previously served as a movie critic for ''People'' and ''Rolling Stone''. Travers also hosts the film interview prog ...

of ''

Rolling Stone ''Rolling Stone'' is an American monthly magazine that focuses on music, politics, and popular culture. It was founded in San Francisco, California, in 1967 by Jann Wenner, and the music critic Ralph J. Gleason. It was first known for its ...

'' gave the film zero out of four stars, and wrote a four word-long review, which simply stated: "This movie sucks more." Film critic

Mark Kermode Mark James Patrick Kermode (, ; ; born 2 July 1963) is an English film critic, musician, radio presenter, television presenter and podcaster. He is the chief film critic for ''The Observer'', contributes to the magazine '' Sight & Sound'', pr ...

reviewed the film on his Radio 5 show, prefacing the review by saying "It's no surprise to know that it's all terrible, witless, boring, terror". He criticized the film for what he perceived as stale subject matter, saying that the ''Twilight'' franchise had left the public consciousness and was no-longer fit for parody, "It's not just that the ship has sailed; it's that the ship has sailed, gone across the

Atlantic The Atlantic Ocean is the second-largest of the world's five oceans, with an area of about . It covers approximately 20% of Earth's surface and about 29% of its water surface area. It is known to separate the " Old World" of Africa, Europe ...

, hit an iceberg, sunk, been dragged up by at least one company, been turned into the biggest movie hit ever, and is now currently being retrofitted for 3D for an anniversary re-release." Another review from

Collider A collider is a type of particle accelerator which brings two opposing particle beams together such that the particles collide. Colliders may either be ring accelerators or linear accelerators. Colliders are used as a research tool in particl ...

's Jake Horowitz said that "not a single thing in its dreadful 82 minutes running time is even remotely worth watching, or considered even slightly entertaining." He then wrote that "no amount of review can make up for what I witnessed while watching ''Vampires Suck''. How wrong I was to assume that it was even watchable, because with each over-done hit on the head or kick in the balls I cringed at the thought of this movie making nearly $80 million worldwide; and imagining people actually laughing in a theatre somewhere." Despite the overwhelming negativity, Jenn Proske's

mimicry In evolutionary biology, mimicry is an evolved resemblance between an organism and another object, often an organism of another species. Mimicry may evolve between different species, or between individuals of the same species. Often, mimicry f ...

performance based on

Kristen Stewart Kristen Jaymes Stewart (born April 9, 1990) is an American actress. The world's highest-paid actress in 2012, she has received various accolades, including a British Academy Film Award and a César Award, in addition to nominations for an Aca ...

received some praise; Steve Persall of ''

Tampa Bay Times The ''Tampa Bay Times'', previously named the ''St. Petersburg Times'' until 2011, is an American newspaper published in St. Petersburg, Florida, United States. It has won fourteen Pulitzer Prizes since 1964, and in 2009, won two in a single ...

'' stated, "One thing the movie roasts to perfection is Kristen Stewart's overly pensive Bella... A newcomer named Jenn Proske has the mumbling, hair-twisting, lip-biting tics down pat, and her expressions of repressed sexuality are almost as funny as Stewart's." ''

Entertainment Weekly ''Entertainment Weekly'' (sometimes abbreviated as ''EW'') is an American digital-only entertainment magazine based in New York City, published by Dotdash Meredith, that covers film, television, music, Broadway theatre, books, and popular ...

'' said, "The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision." ''Vampires Suck'' was given four nominations from the

Golden Raspberry Awards The Golden Raspberry Awards (also known as the Razzies and Razzie Awards) is a parody award show honoring the worst of cinematic under-achievements. Co-founded by UCLA film graduates and film industry veterans John J. B. Wilson and Mo Murphy, ...

, including Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay and Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel.

Box office

In the United States, the film opened at number one on August 18 with $4,016,858. On August 19, the film dropped to #3 behind '' The Expendables'' and ''

Eat Pray Love ''Eat Pray Love'' is a 2010 American biographical romantic drama film starring Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert, based on Gilbert's 2006 memoir of the same name. Ryan Murphy co-wrote and directed the film, which was released in the United St ...

'' with $2,347,044. By the weekend, ''Vampires Suck'' landed at #2 behind ''The Expendables'' and $200,000 over ''Eat Pray Love''. The full second week the film dropped to #11, grossing no more than $500 per theater, respectively. In its second weekend, the film dropped more than 50% from its opening weekend but rose to #6. As of July 12, 2012, the film has grossed $80,547,866 worldwide.

References

External links

* * * * {{DEFAULTSORT:Vampires Suck 20th Century Fox films 2010 films 2010 horror films 2010s parody films 2010s teen comedy films American parody films American slapstick comedy films American comedy horror films American supernatural horror films American teen comedy films Dune Entertainment films Films about proms Films directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Films produced by Peter Safran Films scored by Christopher Lennertz Films shot in Louisiana Regency Enterprises films Vampire comedy films American werewolf films Works based on Twilight (novel series) Parodies of horror 2010 comedy films American vampire films 2010s English-language films 2010s American films