Things (film)

''Things'' is a 1989 Canadian independent direct-to-video horror film, directed by Andrew Jordan and written by Jordan and Barry J. Gillis.Lentz, Harris M.
Science Fiction, Horror & Fantasy Film and Television
', McFarland, 2nd edition, 1598 pages, (2000), (for Volume 1); 0-7864-0951-7 (for Volume 2); (for Volume 3) The film is considered one of the worst films of all time.

Plot

Don and Fred decide to visit the house of Doug, Don's brother. They're unaware that Doug and his wife Susan have been participating in wild experiments in order to have a child. While they're looking for some beer the two men discover a book written by Aleister Crowley and a tape recorder, which plays strange sounds. Hearing the tape, Doug storms in and scolds them before joining them in their drinking. Meanwhile Susan gives birth to bizarre creatures before dying. These creatures then infest the house and attack the men. Fred disappears, leaving Don and Doug to fight the creatures. Don accidentally kills Doug while trying to hit a creature on his back; he is later shown revived, baffling Don before disappearing. Doug briefly re-appears with a chainsaw before also disappearing. Don runs into the doctor who was conducting the experiments on Susan, who accuses him of murdering everyone. Don seemingly manages to escape the house. The film ends with the note "You have just experienced Things".

Production

''Things'' is reportedly the "first Canadian shot-on- Super 8 gore shocker commercially released on VHS." Shot in the Toronto suburb of Scarborough, Ontario, the cast consisted of co-writer Barry J. Gillis and pornographic film star Amber Lynn. The plot follows two friends in a remote cabin who "discover a womb of monstrous horror that demands graphic dismemberment".

Release

In 1989, ''Things'' was released direct-to-video. It was released on DVD in 2008, and was re-released on home media in 2011. In 2021, Joe Bob Briggs hosted the film on The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs. The episode featuring the movie was subsequently released on VHS in 2022. It has also been featured at film festivals.

Reception and legacy

Since its release, ''Things'' has gained a reputation as being one of the worst films ever made. Critics from ''The Beachwood Reporter'', ''Dread Central'' and '' Cinema Sewer'' each described it as being the worst film ever made. Adam Symchuk of ''Screen Rant'' writes: "While films like '' The Room'' and '' Birdemic'' seem to be constant contenders for the best 'so bad it's good' movie, 'Things''is the true unheralded champion among many cinephiles." Likewise, a review from DVD Verdict wrote that the film was "a treasure for those who like to revel in the worst of the worst." Meanwhile, J Hurtado of Screen Anarchy described it as "critically unassailable" and Will Pfeifer opined that "It's so terrible I can’t think of another movie that even comes close."

Caelum Vatnsdal, author of ''They Came From Within: A History of Canadian Horror Cinema'', wrote that ''Things'' is "the worst Canadian horror film ever made". In his book ''Spinegrinder: The Movies Most Critics Won't Write About'', Clive Davies stated that, while ''Things'' was a strong contender for the title of "best worst movie", it is not well known outside of its cult following. ''Things'' was also reviewed by RedLetterMedia on an episode of ''Half in the Bag'' in 2013, and RiffTrax spoofed it on March 4, 2022, with the latter concluding that "It’s definitive, universal… the worst movie we’ve ever done".RiffTrax: THINGS (HD Trailer) - RiffTrax on YouTube
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References

External links

Official website
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Excerpt of RiffTrax treatment on official YouTube channel

{{DEFAULTSORT:Things (Film)
1989 films
Camcorder films
1989 direct-to-video films
1989 horror films
1980s exploitation films
1989 independent films
1980s monster movies
Canadian monster movies
Direct-to-video horror films
English-language Canadian films
Films shot in Ontario
1980s English-language films
Canadian direct-to-video films
1980s Canadian films