The Metropolitan Touch
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"The Metropolitan Touch" is a short story by
P. G. Wodehouse Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, ( ; 15 October 188114 February 1975) was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. His creations include the feather-brained Bertie Wooster and his sagacious valet, Jeeve ...
, and features the young gentleman
Bertie Wooster Bertram Wilberforce Wooster is a fictional character in the comedic Jeeves stories created by British author P. G. Wodehouse. An amiable English gentleman and one of the "idle rich", Bertie appears alongside his valet, Jeeves, whose intelligenc ...
and his
valet A valet or varlet is a male servant who serves as personal attendant to his employer. In the Middle Ages and Ancien Régime, valet de chambre was a role for junior courtiers and specialists such as artists in a royal court, but the term "vale ...
Jeeves Jeeves (born Reginald Jeeves, nicknamed Reggie) is a fictional character in a series of comedic short stories and novels by English author P. G. Wodehouse. Jeeves is the highly competent valet of a wealthy and idle young Londoner named Bertie W ...
. The story was published in ''
The Strand Magazine ''The Strand Magazine'' was a monthly British magazine founded by George Newnes, composed of short fiction and general interest articles. It was published in the United Kingdom from January 1891 to March 1950, running to 711 issues, though the ...
'' in London in September 1922, and then in ''
Cosmopolitan Cosmopolitan may refer to: Food and drink * Cosmopolitan (cocktail), also known as a "Cosmo" History * Rootless cosmopolitan, a Soviet derogatory epithet during Joseph Stalin's anti-Semitic campaign of 1949–1953 Hotels and resorts * Cosmopoli ...
'' in New York that same month. The story was also included in the 1923 collection ''
The Inimitable Jeeves ''The Inimitable Jeeves'' by P.G. Wodehouse was the first of the Jeeves novels, although not originally conceived as a single narrative, being assembled from a number of short stories featuring the same characters. The book was first published ...
''. In the story,
Bingo Little Richard P. "Bingo" Little is a recurring fictional character in the comedic Jeeves and Drones Club stories of English writer P. G. Wodehouse, being a friend of Jeeves's master Bertie Wooster and a member of the Drones Club. In his early appear ...
tries to impress his latest love interest, Mary Burgess, by producing a series of performances at a school Christmas show.


Plot

Back in London, Bertie receives a telegram from Bingo Little, who is still at Twing Hall. Bingo is in love with Mary Burgess, niece of the local parson, Heppenstall. Jeeves approves of Mary, and he and Bertie return to Twing to encourage the match. Bingo has a rival, Wingham, who is courting Mary. Jeeves suggests that Bingo befriend Mary's younger brother, Wilfred. Bingo and Mary take Wilfred on walks, and things look promising. Bertie and Jeeves return to London. Bertie gets another telegram from Bingo, asking for help. Jeeves goes to Twing for the night. He reports that Steggles, the bookmaker behind the Sermon Handicap and the betting at the school treat, is taking wagers against Bingo ending up with Mary. Steggles induced Bingo into betting that Wilfred would win an eating contest, and Wilfred became ill, causing Bingo to lose favor with Mary. Jeeves advised Bingo to do good deeds around the village to win back Mary. Later, Bertie returns home to find Bingo sleeping in his bed. Bertie wakes him, and Bingo relates that Mary is impressed by his good deeds and Wingham has fallen ill. To impress Mary, Bingo has taken responsibility for the Village School Christmas Entertainment. He will add songs from London shows to liven up the event. Bingo later sends Bertie a large poster for Bingo's show. Jeeves disapproves, and maintains that songs from London shows will not succeed with a rural audience. Bertie goes to Twing to see the show. A boy performs "Always Listen to Mother, Girls!", a song from a London show that Bertie feels is not suited for children. The crowd is stunned. The next song is from another show where girls toss wool oranges to the audience, but the kids on stage throw real oranges at the crowd, and chaos ensues. Bertie looks for Bingo to warn him about the angered crowd. Defeated, Bingo tells Bertie that Steggles substituted real oranges for the balls of wool, and Mary is upset with him. Mary and Wingham's engagement is announced. Bertie is sorry that Jeeves's efforts were wasted. Jeeves is not bothered, because he had placed a bet against Bingo.


Publication history

The story was illustrated by A. Wallis Mills in the ''Strand'', and by T. D. Skidmore in ''Cosmopolitan''. "The Metropolitan Touch" was featured in the American edition of the 1939 collection ''The Week-End Wodehouse'', and the 1960 collection ''The Most of Wodehouse''. The story was also included in the 1984 collection of clergy-related Wodehouse stories, ''The World of Wodehouse Clergy''.


Adaptations


Television

This story was not adapted for an episode by the ''
Jeeves and Wooster ''Jeeves and Wooster'' is a British comedy-drama television series adapted by Clive Exton from P. G. Wodehouse's "Jeeves" stories. It aired on the ITV network from 22 April 1990 to 20 June 1993, with the last series nominated for a British ...
'' television series.


Radio

This story, along with the rest of ''The Inimitable Jeeves'', was adapted into a radio drama in 1973 as part of the series ''
What Ho! Jeeves ''What Ho! Jeeves'' (sometimes written ''What Ho, Jeeves!'') is a series of radio dramas based on some of the Jeeves short stories and novels written by P. G. Wodehouse, starring Michael Hordern as the titular Jeeves and Richard Briers as Berti ...
'' starring
Michael Hordern Sir Michael Murray Hordern CBE (3 October 19112 May 1995)Morley, Sheridan"Hordern, Michael Murray (1911–1995)" ''Oxford Dictionary of National Biography'', Oxford University Press, 2004, online edition, May 2009, accessed 22 July 2015 was ...
as Jeeves and
Richard Briers Richard David Briers (14 January 1934 – 17 February 2013) was an English actor whose five-decade career encompassed film, radio, stage and television. Briers first came to prominence as George Starling in ''Marriage Lines'' (1961–66), but ...
as Bertie Wooster.


References

;Notes ;Sources * * *


External links


The Russian Wodehouse Society's page
with numerous book covers and lists of characters {{DEFAULTSORT:Metropolitan Touch, The 1922 short stories Short stories by P. G. Wodehouse Works originally published in The Strand Magazine