Love bombing is an attempt to

influence Influence or influencer may refer to: *Social influence, in social psychology, influence in interpersonal relationships ** Minority influence, when the minority affect the behavior or beliefs of the majority *Influencer marketing, through individ ...

a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a

cycle of abuse The cycle of abuse is a social cycle theory developed in 1979 by Lenore E. Walker to explain patterns of behavior in an abusive relationship. The phrase is also used more generally to describe any set of conditions which perpetuate abusive an ...

and have warned against it. It has also been described as

psychological manipulation Manipulation in psychology is a behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage. Definitions for the term vary in which behavior is specifically included, influenced by both culture and whether referring t ...

in order to create a feeling of unity within a group against a society perceived as hostile. In 2011, clinical psychologist Oliver James advocated love bombing in his book ''Love Bombing: Reset Your Child's Emotional Thermostat'', as a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.

Definition and analysis

The expression "love bombing" was coined by members of the Unification Church of the United States during the 1970s and was also used by members of the

Family International The Family International (TFI) is a Christian New Religious Movement founded in Huntington Beach, California, USA, in 1968 by David Berg that has been criticized as an authoritarian cult. Originally named Teens for Christ, it has gone under a n ...

. Psychology professor

Margaret Singer Margaret Thaler Singer (July 29, 1921 – November 23, 2003) was an American clinical psychologist and researcher with her colleague Lyman Wynne on family communication. She was a prominent figure in the study of undue influence in social and ...

reported on the concept. In her 1996 book, '' Cults in Our Midst,'' she writes:

Abusive relationships

Modern

social media Social media are interactive media technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of information, ideas, interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks. While challenges to the definition of ''social medi ...

can intensify the effect of love bombing since it gives the abuser nearly constant contact and communication with the victim. One of the signs of love bombing in the start of a relationship is intense attention during a short period of time and pressure for very rapid commitment. Psychologist

Dale Archer Dewey Dale Archer, Jr. (born October 12, 1956) best known as Dr. Dale Archer, is an American medical doctor, board-certified psychiatrist, and radio and television personality. He hosted ''Taking Charge with Dr. Dale Archer, ''and the regional ...

identifies the phases of love bombing with the acronym IDD: "Intense Idealization, Devaluation, Discard (Repeat)", and the process of identifying this behavior pattern as SLL: "Stop, Look, and Listen", after which breaking off contact with the abuser can become more possible by also seeking support from family and friends. Another sign of love bombing is being intensely showered with affection, gifts, and promises for the future with the predator so that the victim feels or is made to believe that all this is a sign of "

love at first sight Love at first sight is a personal experience as well as a common trope in literature: a person or character feels an instant, extreme, and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger upon first seeing that stranger. Described by p ...

". Since such signs of affection and affirmation may meet felt needs and not look harmful at the surface, the excitement of such a new relationship often does not appear as cause for alarm. However, after the initial excitement, when the victim shows interest or care about anything beyond their new partner, the manipulator may show anger,

passive-aggressive behavior Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication. Inaction where some action is socially customary is a typical passive-aggressive strategy (showing up late for functions, st ...

, or accuse the victims of selfishness. If the victim does not comply to demands, the devaluation stage begins: the abuser withdraws all affection or

positive reinforcement In behavioral psychology, reinforcement is a consequence applied that will strengthen an organism's future behavior whenever that behavior is preceded by a specific antecedent stimulus. This strengthening effect may be measured as a higher fr ...

and instead punishes the victim with whatever they feel is appropriate—shouting, beratement,

mind games Playing mind games (also power games or head games) is the largely conscious struggle for psychological one-upmanship, often employing passive–aggressive behavior to specifically demoralize or dis-empower the thinking subject, making the a ...

silent treatment Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is trying to communicate and elicit a response. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressiv ...

, or even

physical abuse Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. In most cases, children are the victims of physical abuse, but adults can also be victims, as in cases of domestic violence or wo ...

. An article in '' Cosmopolitan'' explains: The expression has been used to describe the tactics used by

pimps Procuring or pandering is the facilitation or provision of a prostitute or other sex worker in the arrangement of a sex act with a customer. A procurer, colloquially called a pimp (if male) or a madam (if female, though the term pimp has still ...

and

gang members A gang is a group or society of associates, friends or members of a family with a defined leadership and internal organization that identifies with or claims control over territory in a community and engages, either individually or collectivel ...

to control their victims.

Benign occurrences

Excessive attention and affection does not constitute love bombing if there is no intent or pattern of further abuse. Archer explains: British author and psychologist Oliver James recommended love bombing as a technique for parents to help their troubled children. He described it as, "dedicating one-on-one time spoiling and lavishing your child with love, and, within reason, pandering to their every wish." In 2011 Heidi Scrimgeour, a reporter for ''

The Daily Express The ''Daily Express'' is a national daily United Kingdom middle-market newspaper printed in tabloid format. Published in London, it is the flagship of Express Newspapers, owned by publisher Reach plc. It was first published as a broadsheet ...

'', tried the technique with her son and reported:

References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Love Bombing Unification Church controversies Unification Church neologisms

Definition and analysis

Abusive relationships

Benign occurrences

See also

References