"Honour thy father and thy mother" (Hebrew: כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ) is one of the

Ten Commandments The Ten Commandments (Biblical Hebrew עשרת הדברים \ עֲשֶׂרֶת הַדְּבָרִים, ''aséret ha-dvarím'', lit. The Decalogue, The Ten Words, cf. Mishnaic Hebrew עשרת הדיברות \ עֲשֶׂרֶת הַדִּבְ ...

in the

Hebrew Bible The Hebrew Bible or Tanakh (;"Tanach"
'' Deuteronomy (Dvarim) 5:1–23. Catholics and Lutherans count this as the fourth. These commandments were enforced as law in many jurisdictions, and are still considered enforceable law by some. Exodus 20:1 describes the Ten Commandments as being spoken by

Yahweh Yahweh *''Yahwe'', was the national god of ancient Israel and Judah. The origins of his worship reach at least to the early Iron Age, and likely to the Late Bronze Age if not somewhat earlier, and in the oldest biblical literature he poss ...

, inscribed on two stone tablets by the

finger of God The "finger of God" ( ''’etsba‘ ’Ĕlōhîm'') is a phrase used in the Bible. In Exodus 8:16–20 it is used during the plagues of Egypt by the Egyptian magicians. In Exodus 31:18 and Deuteronomy 9:10 it refers to the method by which the T ...

, broken by Moses, and rewritten on replacement stones by the Lord.

Hebrew Bible

In the

Torah The Torah (; hbo, ''Tōrā'', "Instruction", "Teaching" or "Law") is the compilation of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, namely the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In that sense, Torah means the ...

, keeping this commandment was associated with individual benefitMatthew Henry's Concise Commentary on Exodus 20:1
read online
and on Ephesians 6:1–
read online
(both accessed 31 August 2009). and with the ability of the nation of Israel to remain in the land to which God was leading them.Commentary on Exodus 20:12, ''The Jewish Study Bible: Tanakh Translation'', Berlin, Adele; Brettler, Marc Zvi, and Fishbane, Michael, eds. Oxford University Press. 2004 .See also Deuteronomy 6:3–4 Dishonouring parents by striking or cursing them was punishable by deathExodus 21:15,17, Leviticus 20:9. See also Deuteronomy 27:16 and Proverbs 20:20. and so the clause "so that you may live long" could be interpreted as "so that you are not put to death". In the

Talmud The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law ('' halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the ce ...

, the commandment to honour one's human parents is compared to honoring God.Mishneh Torah, Shoftim, Mamrim 6:1Kitzor Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 143:1 According to the prophet

Malachi Malachi (; ) is the traditional author of the Book of Malachi, the last book of the Nevi'im (Prophets) section of the Tanakh. According to the 1897 ''Easton's Bible Dictionary'', it is possible that Malachi is not a proper name, as it simply mean ...

, God makes the analogy himself:

Judaism

The commandment to honour one's human parents is compared to honouring God, for one owes their existence to their father and their mother. The Talmud says that since there are three partners in the creation of a person (God and two parents), honour showed to parents is the same as honour shown to God. It also compares a number of similarly constructed passages from the Torah and concludes that honour toward parents and honour toward God are intentionally equated: Because honouring parents is part of honouring God, the mitzvah does not depend on the worthiness of the parent: "Even if his father is wicked and a sinner, he must fear and revere him ... A convert to Judaism must not curse or despise his non-Jewish father." (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:13,25) It also requires honour to one's

stepparent A stepfamily is a family where at least one parent has children that are not biologically related to their spouse. Either parent, or both, may have children from previous relationships or marriages. Two known classifications for stepfamilies i ...

s or an older sibling who is raising one, and one's teachers, though one has a greater obligation to honor a parent than a grandparent. The commandment is repeated eight times throughout the bible.

Historical beliefs

Keeping this commandment was associated by the Israelites with the ability of the nation of Israel to remain in the land to which God was leading them. According to the

, striking or cursing one's father or mother was punishable by immediate death. In Deuteronomy, a procedure is described for parents to bring a persistently disobedient son to the city elders for death by stoning. Honouring one's parents is also described in the Torah as an analogue to honouring God. According to the prophet

Jeremiah Jeremiah, Modern: , Tiberian: ; el, Ἰερεμίας, Ieremíās; meaning " Yah shall raise" (c. 650 – c. 570 BC), also called Jeremias or the "weeping prophet", was one of the major prophets of the Hebrew Bible. According to Jewi ...

, God refers to himself as Father to Israel, and according to the prophet

Isaiah Isaiah ( or ; he, , ''Yəšaʿyāhū'', "God is Salvation"), also known as Isaias, was the 8th-century BC Israelite prophet after whom the Book of Isaiah is named. Within the text of the Book of Isaiah, Isaiah himself is referred to as "the ...

, God refers to Israel as his sons and daughters. According to the prophet

, God calls for similar honour. According to Jeremiah, God blessed the descendants of

Rechab Rechab ( ''Rēḵāḇ'') is the name of three men in the Bible: *One of the two "captains of bands" whom Saul's son Ish-bosheth took into his service, and who conspired to kill him. (2 Samuel 4:2) *A Kenite, mentioned as the father of Jehonadab ...

for obeying their forefather's command to not drink wine and uses the family as a counterexample to Israel's failure to obey his command to not worship other gods:

Precedence

According to the

Mishneh Torah The ''Mishneh Torah'' ( he, מִשְׁנֵה תּוֹרָה, , repetition of the Torah), also known as ''Sefer Yad ha-Hazaka'' ( he, ספר יד החזקה, , book of the strong hand, label=none), is a code of Rabbinic Jewish religious law ('' ...

, this commandment requires one to honour both of one's parents equally; there is no greater weight given to either the father or the mother. While in some parts of scripture, the father is stated first, in others, the mother comes first. This shows that the honour due to each is equal. While Jewish teaching holds that a married woman must honour her husband, there are also guidelines for how she may continue to honour her parents:

Requirements

The commandment requires one to obey one's parents when the command given by a parent is reasonable and permissible under Jewish law. For example, if a parent asks a child to bring him/her water, he/she must obey. Because honouring God is above all mitzvot, if a parent asks a child to break a law of the Torah, he/she must refuse to obey. A child is not required to obey if a parent says that he/she must marry a particular person, or must not marry a person he/she wishes to marry, provided the marriage is permissible by Jewish law. A child who is travelling has an obligation to communicate with his/her parents to let them know he/she is safe in order to prevent them from worrying. A child must continue to honour his/her parent after their deaths. This can be done by reciting

Kaddish Kaddish or Qaddish or Qadish ( arc, קדיש "holy") is a hymn praising God that is recited during Jewish prayer services. The central theme of the Kaddish is the magnification and sanctification of God's name. In the liturgy, different version ...

for 11 months and on the yarzeit (anniversary of the parent's death), and by donating charity in the memory of the parent. The study of the Torah is also considered to be reverence toward a parent, for it shows that a parent raised a worthy child. A child must never put a parent to shame, or speak arrogantly to a parent. A person who is told to do something by his/her mother for which his father does not like the result is not permitted to tell his/her father that his/her mother said to do that. This is because this could lead to his/her father cursing his/her mother. A child is not permitted to interrupt or contradict a parent, or to disturb a parent's sleep.

New Testament

In the gospels,

Jesus Jesus, likely from he, יֵשׁוּעַ, translit=Yēšūaʿ, label= Hebrew/ Aramaic ( AD 30 or 33), also referred to as Jesus Christ or Jesus of Nazareth (among other names and titles), was a first-century Jewish preacher and religiou ...

affirmed the importance of honouring one's father and mother (Matthew 15:1–9, Matthew 19:17–19, Mark 10:17–19, Luke 18:18–21)

Paul Paul may refer to: *Paul (given name), a given name (includes a list of people with that name) * Paul (surname), a list of people People Christianity *Paul the Apostle (AD c.5–c.64/65), also known as Saul of Tarsus or Saint Paul, early Chri ...

quotes the commandment in his letter to the church in Ephesus: In his letters to the

Romans Roman or Romans most often refers to: *Rome, the capital city of Italy * Ancient Rome, Roman civilization from 8th century BC to 5th century AD *Roman people, the people of ancient Rome *''Epistle to the Romans'', shortened to ''Romans'', a lette ...

and Timothy, Paul describes disobedience to parents as a serious sin (Romans 1:29–31, 2 Timothy 3:2). The words of Jesus and the teaching of Paul indicate that adult children remain obligated to honour their parents by providing for material needs. In the gospels, Jesus is portrayed as angry with some people who avoided materially providing for their parents by claiming the money they would have used was given to God (Matthew 15:3–8, Mark 7:9–12. In these passages, Jesus quotes Isaiah 29:13) According to the

Gospel of John The Gospel of John ( grc, Εὐαγγέλιον κατὰ Ἰωάννην, translit=Euangélion katà Iōánnēn) is the fourth of the four canonical gospels. It contains a highly schematic account of the ministry of Jesus, with seven "sig ...

, when Jesus was on the cross, he provided for his mother,

Mary Mary may refer to: People * Mary (name), a feminine given name (includes a list of people with the name) Religious contexts * New Testament people named Mary, overview article linking to many of those below * Mary, mother of Jesus, also calle ...

, by giving the Apostle John the charge to care for her, which John accepted. According to the gospel of Matthew, the obligation to honour one's parents is bounded by one's obligation to God: "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37 ESV) Such boundaries, and the primacy of the first commandment itself, lead scholars to conclude that honouring one's parents does ''not'' include breaking God's law (i.e., committing a sin) at the behest of a parent. Paul's instructions to Timothy regarding the physical care of widows include the following:

Christian

Catholicism

The import of honouring father and mother is based on the divine origin of the parental role: According to the teachings of the Catholic Church, the commandment to honour father and mother reveals God's desired order of charity – first God, then parents, then others. Keeping the commandment to honour father and mother brings both spiritual and temporal rewards of peace and prosperity, while failure to honour parents harms the individual as well as society. The pervasive societal effect of obedience or disobedience to this command is attributed to the status of the family as the fundamental building block of society: The

Gospel of Luke The Gospel of Luke), or simply Luke (which is also its most common form of abbreviation). tells of the origins, birth, ministry, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ. Together with the Acts of the Apostles, it makes up a two-vol ...

notes that, as a child, Jesus was obedient to his earthly parents. For a child in the home, the commandment to honour parents is comprehensive, excluding immoral actions. Grown children, while not obligated to obedience in the same way, should continue to afford respect for parental wishes, advice and teaching. "Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. 'My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. ... When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you...'" (Proverbs 6:20–22) The Church teaches that adult children have a duty to honour their parents by providing "material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress". This honour should be based on the son or daughter's gratitude for the life, love and effort given by the parents and motivated by the desire to pay them back in some measure. The principle of the commandment is extended to the duty to honour others indirect authority, such as teachers, and employers. The commandment to honour father and mother also forms a basis for charity to others when each person is seen, ultimately, as "a son or daughter of the One who wants to be called 'our Father'." Thus, charitable actions are viewed as extensions of the honour owed to the heavenly Father.

Orthodox Church

Father Seraphim Stephens sees "Honor" defined as "Love and Respect", and notes that this commandment is positioned between those that address one's obligations to God and those that relate to how one treats others. "It clearly lays the foundation of our relationship to God and to all other people." Richard D. Andrews points out that, "Every time we do something good, just, pure, holy, we bring honour to our parents."

Protestantism

John Calvin describes the sacred origin of the role of the human father (which thus demands honour). The analogy between the honour of parents and the honour of God himself is further strengthened by this understanding that earthly fatherhood is derived from God's Fatherhood. Thus the duty to honour does not depend on whether the parent is particularly worthy. However, Calvin acknowledges that some fathers are outright wicked and emphasizes there is no excuse for sin in the name of honouring a parent, calling the notion "absurd". The commentary of John Wesley on the commandment to honour father and mother is consistent with the interpretation in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. He summarizes the actions that express honour as follows: 1. Inward esteem of them, outwardly expressed 2. Obedience to their lawful commands (Ephesians 6:1–3), 3. Submission to their rebukes, instructions and corrections, 4. Acting with consideration of parental advice, direction and consent, 5. Giving comfort and providing for the physical needs of aged parents. Like the Catechism, Wesley also teaches that the commandment includes honouring others in legitimate secular authority. He also encourages people toward honour of those in spiritual leadership with the question, "Have ye all obeyed them that watch over your souls, and esteemed them highly in love for their work's sake?" This question is reminiscent of Paul's statements to the church in Galatia and to Timothy. Matthew Henry explains that the commandment to honour father and mother applies not only to biological parents but also to those who fulfil the role of mother or father. He uses the example of

Esther Esther is the eponymous heroine of the Book of Esther. In the Achaemenid Empire, the Persian king Ahasuerus seeks a new wife after his queen, Vashti, is deposed for disobeying him. Hadassah, a Jewess who goes by the name of Esther, is chosen ...

honouring her guardian and cousin Mordecai: Esther Mordechai Purim

The commandment itself encourages obedience "so that you may enjoy long life and that it may go well with you". Henry, Wesley and Calvin affirm the applicability of this promise for all who keep the commandment, though each notes that for the New Testament Christian, the promise may be fulfilled as earthly rewards and/or heavenly rewards, as God sees fit in his wisdom and love for the individual. In his commentary, Calvin notes the harsh consequences required in Exodus and Leviticus for specific failures to keep the commandment. Those who struck or cursed a parent were to be sentenced to death. Persistently disobedient sons were to be brought before the city elders and stoned by the whole community if the parents' testimony was judged to be accurate. Calvin writes that God knew capital punishment for these offences would seem harsh and be difficult to pronounce, even for those responsible for adjudicating the situation. This is why, he argues, the text specifically places responsibility for the consequences on the offender. The severity of the sentence emphasized the importance of removing such behaviour from the community and deterring others who might imitate it. Although Calvin refers mostly to fathers in his commentary on the commandment to honour father and mother, he writes near the beginning that the commandment mentions both parents on purpose. As described above, Proverbs supports the value of guidance from both father and mother, and Paul specified that children should provide for their own widowed mothers and grandmothers, "which is pleasing to God". Just as "honour" involves offering profound respect, the opposite of honouring someone is to trivialize him, as if of no importance."Honor your father and mother", The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention
/ref> Respect is not something based solely on personal or professional qualifications, but also on the position that God has given that person. In 1 Samuel 26 David spares Saul's life, even at the risk of losing his own, submitting to the authority God had placed over him as anointed king.

Rewards for compliance

This commandment is distinct from the others in that a promise is attached to it: "...so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Deuteronomy 5:16 amplifies this: "...that your days may be prolonged, and that it may be well with you, in the land which the Lord your God is giving you."
/ref>

Consequences of disobedience

As with most terms of the

covenant Covenant may refer to: Religion * Covenant (religion), a formal alliance or agreement made by God with a religious community or with humanity in general ** Covenant (biblical), in the Hebrew Bible ** Covenant in Mormonism, a sacred agreement b ...

between God and Israel, there are consequences for disobedience as well as rewards for obedience:

References

External links

A compilation of Jewish theology regarding the commandment to honour father and mother
{{Authority control Ten Commandments Filial piety Hebrew Bible words and phrases Biblical phrases Positive Mitzvoth