Faggot (slang)
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''Faggot'', often shortened to ''fag'', is a usually
pejorative A pejorative or slur is a word or grammatical form expressing a negative or a disrespectful connotation, a low opinion, or a lack of respect toward someone or something. It is also used to express criticism, hostility, or disregard. Sometimes, a ...
term used to refer to
gay men Gay men are male homosexuals. Some bisexual and homoromantic men may also dually identify as gay, and a number of young gay men also identify as queer. Historically, gay men have been referred to by a number of different terms, includin ...
. In American
youth culture Youth culture refers to the societal norms of children, adolescents, and young adults. Specifically, it comprises the processes and symbolic systems that are shared by the youth and are distinct from those of adults in the community. An emphasi ...
around the turn of the 21st century, its meaning extended as a broader reaching insult more related to
masculinity Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. Masculinity can be theoretically understood as socially constructed, and there is also evidence that some behaviors ...
and group power structure. The usage of ''fag'' and ''faggot'' has spread from the United States to varying extents elsewhere in the
English-speaking world Speakers of English are also known as Anglophones, and the countries where English is natively spoken by the majority of the population are termed the '' Anglosphere''. Over two billion people speak English , making English the largest languag ...
(especially the UK) through mass culture, including film, music, and the internet.


Etymology and usage

The American slang term is first recorded in 1914, the shortened form ''fag'' shortly after, in 1921. Its immediate origin is unclear, but it is based on the word for "bundle of sticks", ultimately derived, via
Old French Old French (, , ; Modern French: ) was the language spoken in most of the northern half of France from approximately the 8th to the 14th centuries. Rather than a unified language, Old French was a linkage of Romance dialects, mutually intel ...
, Italian and
Vulgar Latin Vulgar Latin, also known as Popular or Colloquial Latin, is the range of non-formal registers of Latin spoken from the Late Roman Republic onward. Through time, Vulgar Latin would evolve into numerous Romance languages. Its literary counterpa ...
, from
Latin Latin (, or , ) is a classical language belonging to the Italic languages, Italic branch of the Indo-European languages. Latin was originally a dialect spoken in the lower Tiber area (then known as Latium) around present-day Rome, but through ...
'' fascis''. The word ''faggot'' has been used in English since the late 16th century as an abusive term for women, particularly old women, and reference to homosexuality may derive from this, as female terms are often used with reference to homosexual or effeminate men (cf. ''nancy'', ''
sissy ''Sissy'' (derived from '' sister''), also ''sissy baby'', ''sissy boy'', ''sissy man'', ''sissy pants'', etc., is a pejorative term for a boy or man who does not demonstrate masculine, and shows possible signs of fragility. Generally, ''sissy'' ...
'', ''
queen Queen or QUEEN may refer to: Monarchy * Queen regnant, a female monarch of a Kingdom ** List of queens regnant * Queen consort, the wife of a reigning king * Queen dowager, the widow of a king * Queen mother, a queen dowager who is the mother ...
''). The application of the term to old women is possibly a shortening of the term "faggot-gatherer," applied in the 19th century to people, especially older widows, who made a meager living by gathering and selling firewood. It may also derive from the sense of "something awkward to be carried" (compare the use of the word ''baggage'' as a pejorative term for old people in general). An alternative possibility is that the word is connected with the practice of
fagging Fagging was a traditional practice in British public schools and also at many other boarding schools, whereby younger pupils were required to act as personal servants to the eldest boys. Although probably originating earlier, the first account ...
in British public schools, in which younger boys performed (potentially sexual) duties for older boys, although the word ''faggot'' was never used in this context, only ''fag''. There is a reference to the word ''faggot'' being used in 17th-century Britain to refer to a "man hired into military service simply to fill out the ranks at muster," but there is no known connection with the word's modern usage. The
Yiddish Yiddish (, or , ''yidish'' or ''idish'', , ; , ''Yidish-Taytsh'', ) is a West Germanic language historically spoken by Ashkenazi Jews. It originated during the 9th century in Central Europe, providing the nascent Ashkenazi community with a ve ...
word ''faygele'', lit. "little bird," itself a pejorative term for a gay man, has been claimed by some to be related to the American usage. The similarity between the two words makes it possible that it might at least have had a reinforcing effect. There is an
urban legend An urban legend (sometimes contemporary legend, modern legend, urban myth, or urban tale) is a genre of folklore comprising stories or fallacious claims circulated as true, especially as having happened to a "friend of a friend" or a family m ...
, called an "oft-reprinted assertion" by Douglas Harper, that the modern slang meaning developed from the standard meaning of ''faggot'' as "bundle of sticks for burning" with regard to
burning at the stake Death by burning (also known as immolation) is an execution and murder method involving combustion or exposure to extreme heat. It has a long history as a form of public capital punishment, and many societies have employed it as a punishment f ...
. This is unsubstantiated; the emergence of the slang term in 20th-century American English is unrelated to historical death penalties for homosexuality. Some LGBTQ+ people have reclaimed the term as a neutral or positive term of self-description.


Use in the United Kingdom

Originally confined to the United States, the use of the words ''fag'' and ''faggot'' as epithets for gay men has spread elsewhere in the English-speaking world, but the extent to which they are used in this sense has varied outside the context of imported US popular culture. In the UK and some other countries, the words ''
queer ''Queer'' is an umbrella term for people who are not heterosexual or cisgender. Originally meaning or , ''queer'' came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century. Beginning in the l ...
'', ''
homo ''Homo'' () is the genus that emerged in the (otherwise extinct) genus '' Australopithecus'' that encompasses the extant species ''Homo sapiens'' ( modern humans), plus several extinct species classified as either ancestral to or closely rela ...
'', and ''poof'' are much more common as pejorative terms for gay men. The word ''faggot'' in the UK also refers to a kind of meatball. In British English, 'fag' is common slang for a
cigarette A cigarette is a narrow cylinder containing a combustible material, typically tobacco, that is rolled into thin paper for smoking. The cigarette is ignited at one end, causing it to smolder; the resulting smoke is orally inhaled via the opp ...
, sometimes also used to describe a tedious task. The terms ''fag'' / ''
fagging Fagging was a traditional practice in British public schools and also at many other boarding schools, whereby younger pupils were required to act as personal servants to the eldest boys. Although probably originating earlier, the first account ...
'', have been widely used for a practice of younger pupils acting as personal servants to the most senior boys for well over a hundred years in England, in the public school system of education. Use of ''fag'' and ''faggot'' as the term for an effeminate man has become understood as an Americanism in
British English British English (BrE, en-GB, or BE) is, according to Oxford Dictionaries, "English as used in Great Britain, as distinct from that used elsewhere". More narrowly, it can refer specifically to the English language in England, or, more broadl ...
, primarily due to entertainment media use in films and television series imported from the United States. When Labour MP
Bob Marshall-Andrews Robert Graham Marshall-Andrews KC (born 10 April 1944) is a British barrister, author, and retired politician, who was the Labour Member of Parliament (MP) for Medway from 1997 to 2010. He defected from his former party at the 2017 general e ...
was overheard supposedly using the word in a bad-tempered informal exchange with a straight colleague in the
House of Commons The House of Commons is the name for the elected lower house of the bicameral parliaments of the United Kingdom and Canada. In both of these countries, the Commons holds much more legislative power than the nominally upper house of parliament. T ...
lobby in November 2005, it was considered to be homophobic abuse.


Early printed use

The word ''faggot'' with regard to homosexuality was used as early as 1914, in Jackson and Hellyer's ''A Vocabulary of Criminal Slang, with Some Examples of Common Usages'' which listed the following example under the word, drag: :"All the fagots (sissies) will be dressed in drag at the ball tonight." The word ''fag'' is used in 1923 in ''The Hobo: The Sociology of the Homeless Man'' by Nels Anderson: :“Fairies or Fags are men or boys who exploit sex for profit.” The word was also used by a character in
Claude McKay Festus Claudius "Claude" McKay Order of Jamaica, OJ (September 15, 1890See Wayne F. Cooper, ''Claude McKay, Rebel Sojourner In The Harlem Renaissance (New York, Schocken, 1987) p. 377 n. 19. As Cooper's authoritative biography explains, McKay's ...
’s 1928 novel ''Home to Harlem'', indicating that it was used during the
Harlem Renaissance The Harlem Renaissance was an intellectual and cultural revival of African American music, dance, art, fashion, literature, theater, politics and scholarship centered in Harlem, Manhattan, New York City, spanning the 1920s and 1930s. At the t ...
. Specifically, one character says that he cannot understand: :"a bulldyking woman and a faggoty man"


Usage by youth

Through ethnographic research in a high school setting,
CJ Pascoe Cheri Jo Pascoe (born June 3, 1974) is an American sociologist and author. She is currently an associate professor at the University of Oregon. Her research focuses on gender, youth, homophobia, sexuality and news media. She is currently one of ...
examined how American high school boys used the term ''fag'' during the early 2000s. Pascoe's work, culminating in a 2007 book titled '' Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School'', suggested that these boys used the ''fag'' epithet as a way to assert their own
masculinity Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. Masculinity can be theoretically understood as socially constructed, and there is also evidence that some behaviors ...
, by claiming that another boy is less masculine; this, in their eyes, makes him a fag, and its usage suggests that it is less about sexual orientation and more about gender. One-third of the boys in Pascoe's study claimed that they would not call a homosexual peer a ''fag'', leading Pascoe to argue that ''fag'' is used in this setting as a form of gender policing, in which boys ridicule others who fail at masculinity, heterosexual prowess, or strength. Because boys do not want to be labeled a fag, they hurl the insult at another person. Pascoe felt the ''fag'' identity does not constitute a static identity attached to the boy receiving the insult. Rather, ''fag'' is a fluid identity that boys strive to avoid, often by naming another as the fag. As Pascoe asserts, "
he fag identity He or HE may refer to: Language * He (pronoun), an English pronoun * He (kana), the romanization of the Japanese kana へ * He (letter), the fifth letter of many Semitic alphabets * He (Cyrillic), a letter of the Cyrillic script called ''He'' ...
is fluid enough that boys police their behaviors out of fear of having the fag identity permanently adhere and definitive enough so that boys recognize a fag behavior and strive to avoid it."


Use in popular culture

There is a long history of using both ''fag'' and ''faggot'' in popular culture, usually in reference to gay and bisexual men.
Rob Epstein Robert P. Epstein (born April 6, 1955), is an American director, producer, writer, and editor. He has won two Academy Awards for Best Documentary Feature, for the films '' The Times of Harvey Milk'' and '' Common Threads: Stories from the Quil ...
and Jeffrey Friedman's 1995 documentary '' The Celluloid Closet'', based on
Vito Russo Vito Russo (July 11, 1946 – November 7, 1990) was an American LGBT activist, film historian, and author. He is best remembered as the author of the book '' The Celluloid Closet'' (1981, revised edition 1987), described in ''The New York Tim ...
's book of the same name notes the use of ''fag'' and ''faggot'' throughout Hollywood film history. The Think Before You Speak campaign has sought to stop ''fag'' and ''gay'' being used as generic insults.


Theater

In 1973 a
Broadway musical Broadway theatre,Although ''theater'' is generally the spelling for this common noun in the United States (see American and British English spelling differences), 130 of the 144 extant and extinct Broadway venues use (used) the spelling ''Th ...
called ''The Faggot'' was praised by critics but condemned by
gay liberation The gay liberation movement was a social and political movement of the late 1960s through the mid-1980s that urged lesbians and gay men to engage in radical direct action, and to counter societal shame with gay pride.Hoffman, 2007, pp.xi-xiii ...
proponents.


Books and magazines

Larry Kramer Laurence David Kramer (June 25, 1935May 27, 2020) was an American playwright, author, film producer, public health advocate, and gay rights activist. He began his career rewriting scripts while working for Columbia Pictures, which led him to Lo ...
's 1978 novel '' Faggots'' discusses the
gay community The LGBT community (also known as the LGBTQ+ community, GLBT community, gay community, or queer community) is a loosely defined grouping of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other queer individuals united by a common culture and ...
including the use of the word within and towards the community. A description of
Pamela Moore Pamela Moore is an American singer-songwriter, mixing hard rock, heavy metal, melodic rock and industrial music while her earlier years delved into pop and electronica. She currently resides in Seattle, Washington. History Born and rai ...
's 1956 novel '' Chocolates for Breakfast'' in the
Warner Books Grand Central Publishing is a book publishing imprint of Hachette Book Group, originally established in 1970 as Warner Books when Warner Communications acquired the Paperback Library. When Time Warner sold their book publishing business to Hachet ...
1982 culture guide ''The Catalog of Cool'' reads: "Her fifteen-year-old heroine first balls a fag actor in H'wood, then makes it with some hermetic, filthy rich, hotel-bound Italian count." In its November 2002 issue, the ''
New Oxford Review The ''New Oxford Review'' is a magazine of Catholic cultural and theological commentary.Ronald Lora, William Henry Longton, ''The conservative press in twentieth-century America'', Greenwood Publishing Group, 1999, p. 20/ref>Mary Jo Weaver, ''Bein ...
'', a
Catholic The Catholic Church, also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the largest Christian church, with 1.3 billion baptized Catholics worldwide . It is among the world's oldest and largest international institutions, and has played a ...
magazine, caused controversy by its use and defense of the word in an editorial. During the correspondence between the editors and a gay reader, the editors clarified that they would only use the word to describe a "practicing homosexual." They defended the use of the word, saying that it was important to preserve the
social stigma Social stigma is the disapproval of, or discrimination against, an individual or group based on perceived characteristics that serve to distinguish them from other members of a society. Social stigmas are commonly related to culture, gender, ra ...
of gays and lesbians.


Music

Arlo Guthrie Arlo Davy Guthrie (born July 10, 1947) is an American folk singer-songwriter. He is known for singing songs of protest against social injustice, and storytelling while performing songs, following the tradition of his father, Woody Guthrie. Gu ...
uses the epithet in his 1967 signature song " Alice's Restaurant," noting it as a potential way to avoid military induction at the time (Guthrie had removed the word from live performances of the song in the 21st century).
Phil Ochs Philip David Ochs (; December 19, 1940 – April 9, 1976) was an American songwriter and protest singer (or, as he preferred, a topical singer). Ochs was known for his sharp wit, sardonic humor, political activism, often alliterative lyrics, and ...
uses the epithet in his 1969 song "I Kill Therefore I Am". In the song, which is written from the point of view of a hateful police officer, he uses the slur to describe the student activists who protested the
Vietnam War The Vietnam War (also known by #Names, other names) was a conflict in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia from 1 November 1955 to the fall of Saigon on 30 April 1975. It was the second of the Indochina Wars and was officially fought between North Vie ...
. The
Dire Straits Dire Straits were a British rock band formed in London in 1977 by Mark Knopfler (lead vocals and lead guitar), David Knopfler (rhythm guitar and backing vocals), John Illsley (bass guitar and backing vocals) and Pick Withers (drums and per ...
1985 song " Money for Nothing" makes notable use of the epithet ''faggot'', although the lines containing it are often excised for radio play, and in live performances by singer/songwriter
Mark Knopfler Mark Freuder Knopfler (born 12 August 1949) is a British singer-songwriter, guitarist, and record producer. Born in Scotland and raised in England, he was the lead guitarist, singer and songwriter of the rock band Dire Straits. He pursued a s ...
. The song was banned from airplay by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council in 2011 but the ban was reversed later the same year. In 1989, Sebastian Bach, lead singer of the band
Skid Row A skid row or skid road is an impoverished area, typically urban, in English-speaking North America whose inhabitants are mostly poor people " on the skids". This specifically refers to poor or homeless, considered disreputable, downtrodden or fo ...
, created a controversy when he wore a T-shirt with the
parody A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its sub ...
slogan "AIDS: Kills Fags Dead". The 2001 song " American Triangle" by
Elton John Sir Elton Hercules John (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is a British singer, pianist and composer. Commonly nicknamed the "Rocket Man" after his 1972 hit single of the same name, John has led a commercially successful career a ...
and
Bernie Taupin Bernard John Taupin (born 22 May 1950) is an English songwriter, singer and visual artist. He is best known for his long-term collaboration with musician Elton John, a songwriting partnership that is one of the most successful in history. Tau ...
uses the phrase ''God hates fags where we come from.'' The song is about
Matthew Shepard Matthew Wayne Shepard (December 1, 1976 – October 12, 1998) was a gay American student at the University of Wyoming who was beaten, tortured, and left to die near Laramie on the night of October 6, 1998. He was taken by rescuers to Pou ...
, a
Wyoming Wyoming () is a state in the Mountain West subregion of the Western United States. It is bordered by Montana to the north and northwest, South Dakota and Nebraska to the east, Idaho to the west, Utah to the southwest, and Colorado to t ...
man who was murdered in 1998 for being gay. The 2007 song "The Bible Says," which includes the line "God Hates Fags" (sometimes used as an alternate title) caused considerable controversy when it was published on various websites. Apparently an anti-gay song written and performed by an ex-gay pastor " Donnie Davies," it was accompanied by the realistic Love God's Way website about his "ministry." Debate ensued about whether Donnie Davies and the outrageous song, which included a few
double entendre A double entendre (plural double entendres) is a figure of speech or a particular way of wording that is devised to have a double meaning, of which one is typically obvious, whereas the other often conveys a message that would be too socially ...
s, were for real, and whether the lyrics could ever be considered acceptable even in satire. Donnie Davies was revealed in 2007 to be a character played by an actor. Some
gay rights Rights affecting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people vary greatly by country or jurisdiction—encompassing everything from the legal recognition of same-sex marriage to the death penalty for homosexuality. Notably, , ...
advocates acknowledge that as a spoof it is humorous, but claim the message behind it is still as malicious as someone who seriously possessed the opinion. In December 2007,
BBC Radio 1 BBC Radio 1 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC. It specialises in modern popular music and current chart hits throughout the day. The station provides alternative genres at night, including electronica, dance ...
caused controversy by editing the word ''faggot'' from their broadcasts of the
Kirsty MacColl Kirsty Anna MacColl (10 October 1959 – 18 December 2000) was a British singer and songwriter, daughter of folk singer Ewan MacColl. She recorded several pop hits in the 1980s and 1990s, including " There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears H ...
and
The Pogues The Pogues were an English or Anglo-Irish Celtic punk band fronted by Shane MacGowan and others, founded in Kings Cross, London in 1982, as "Pogue Mahone" – the anglicisation of the Irish Gaelic ''póg mo thóin'', meaning "kiss my arse" ...
song "
Fairytale of New York "Fairytale of New York" is a song written by Jem Finer and Shane MacGowan and recorded by their London-based band the Pogues, featuring singer-songwriter Kirsty MacColl on vocals. The song is an Irish folk-style ballad and was written as a du ...
," deeming it potentially homophobic; however, the edit did not extend to other BBC stations, such as
BBC Radio 2 BBC Radio 2 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC. It is the most popular station in the United Kingdom with over 15 million weekly listeners. Since launching in 1967, the station broadcasts a wide range of content. ...
. Following widespread criticism and pressure from listeners, the decision was reversed and the original unedited version of the song was reinstated, with clarification from Andy Parfitt, the station controller, that in the context of the song the lyrics had no "negative intent." Patty Griffin uses the word ''faggot'' in her song "Tony", about a classmate of hers from high school who committed
suicide Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Mental disorders (including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, anxiety disorders), physical disorders (such as chronic fatigue syndrome), and ...
. McCafferty uses the word ''faggot'' in the song "Trees", about lead singer Nick Hartkop's struggles coming to terms with his sexuality.
Eminem Marshall Bruce Mathers III (born October 17, 1972), known professionally as Eminem (; often stylized as EMINƎM), is an American rapper and record producer. He is credited with popularizing Hip hop music, hip hop in Middle America (United Sta ...
used the word in numerous works, such as " Rap God", along with an inflammatory lyric containing the term being removed from " Fall". In 2012,
Macklemore Benjamin Hammond Haggerty (born June 19, 1983), better known by his stage name Macklemore ( ; (formerly Professor Macklemore), is an American rapper and songwriter. A native of Seattle, Washington, he has collaborated with producer Ryan Lewi ...
used the word ''faggot'' in the song "
Same Love Same may refer to: *Sameness or identity Places * Same (Homer), an island mentioned by Homer in the ''Odyssey'' * Same (polis), an ancient city * Same, East Timor, the capital of the Manufahi district * Samé, Mali * Same, Tanzania * Same Dist ...
" in reference to the use of the homophobic slur in
cyberbullying Cyberbullying or cyberharassment is a form of bullying or harassment using electronic means. Cyberbullying and cyberharassment are also known as online bullying. It has become increasingly common, especially among teenagers, as the digital ...
.


Television

In November 2009, the ''
South Park ''South Park'' is an American animated sitcom created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone and developed by Brian Graden for Comedy Central. The series revolves around four boysStan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormickand ...
'' episode " The F Word" dealt with the overuse of the word ''fag.'' The boys use the word to insult a group of bikers, saying that their loud motorcycles ruined everyone else's nice time. Officials from the dictionary, including
Emmanuel Lewis Emmanuel Lewis (born March 9, 1971) is an American actor, best known for playing the title character in the 1980s television sitcom '' Webster''. Personal life Lewis was born in Brooklyn, New York, and graduated from Midwood High School in 1989. ...
attend in the town and agree that the meaning of the word should no longer insult homosexuals but instead be used to describe loud motorcycle riders who ruin others' nice times. The episode is a satire on the taboo of using the term, as it goes against
political correctness ''Political correctness'' (adjectivally: ''politically correct''; commonly abbreviated ''PC'') is a term used to describe language, policies, or measures that are intended to avoid offense or disadvantage to members of particular groups in socie ...
.


See also

*
Breeder A breeder is a person who selectively breeds carefully selected mates, normally of the same breed to sexually reproduce offspring with specific, consistently replicable qualities and characteristics. This might be as a farmer, agriculturalist, ...
* Fag hag * Fag stag *
Freedom of speech Freedom of speech is a principle that supports the freedom of an individual or a community to articulate their opinions and ideas without fear of retaliation, censorship, or legal sanction. The right to freedom of expression has been recogni ...
*
Gayphobia Discrimination against gay men, sometimes called '' gayphobia'', is a form of homophobic prejudice, hatred, or bias specifically directed toward gay men, male homosexuality, or men who are perceived to be gay. This discrimination is closely r ...
*
Hate mail Hate mail (as electronic, posted, or otherwise) is a form of harassment, usually consisting of invective and potentially intimidating or threatening comments towards the recipient. Hate mail often contains exceptionally abusive, foul or otherwi ...
*
Hate speech Hate speech is defined by the ''Cambridge Dictionary'' as "public speech that expresses hate or encourages violence towards a person or group based on something such as race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation". Hate speech is "usually thoug ...


References


Bibliography

* Pascoe, C. J. ''Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School'',
University of California Press The University of California Press, otherwise known as UC Press, is a publishing house associated with the University of California that engages in academic publishing. It was founded in 1893 to publish scholarly and scientific works by facul ...
, 2007. * Kramer, Larry. ''Faggots'',
Grove Press Grove Press is an American publishing imprint that was founded in 1947. Imprints include: Black Cat, Evergreen, Venus Library, and Zebra. Barney Rosset purchased the company in 1951 and turned it into an alternative book press in the United Sta ...
, 2000. * Ford, Michael Thomas. ''That's Mr. Faggot to You: Further Trials from My Queer Life'', Alyson Books, 1999.


External links


How did "faggot" get to mean "male homosexual"?
on
The Straight Dope "The Straight Dope" was a question-and-answer newspaper column written under the pseudonym Cecil Adams. Contributions were made by multiple authors, and it was illustrated (also pseudonymously) by Slug Signorino. It was first published in 1973 in ...
. {{DEFAULTSORT:Faggot (Slang) 1910s neologisms English profanity Male homosexuality LGBT-related slurs Homophobic slurs Slang terms for men English words