Denial, Anger, Acceptance
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"Denial, Anger, Acceptance" is the third episode of the HBO original series ''
The Sopranos ''The Sopranos'' is an American crime drama television series created by David Chase. The story revolves around Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini), a New Jersey-based Italian-American mobster, portraying his difficulties as he tries to balance ...
''. It was written by Mark Saraceni, directed by
Nick Gomez Nick Gomez (born April 13, 1963) is an American film director and writer. He has directed for a number of television and film. His first feature-length film was the 1992 movie ''Laws of Gravity'', which won awards at both the Berlin Internati ...
, and originally aired on January 24, 1999.


Starring

*
James Gandolfini James Joseph Gandolfini Jr. (; September 18, 1961 – June 19, 2013) was an American actor. For his role as Tony Soprano, the Italian-American Mafia crime boss in HBO's television series ''The Sopranos'', he won three Emmy Awards, five Screen ...
as Tony Soprano *
Lorraine Bracco Lorraine Bracco (born October 2, 1954) is an American actress. Known for her distinct husky voice and Brooklyn accent, she has been nominated for an Academy Award, four Emmy Awards, four Golden Globe Awards, and three Screen Actors Guild Awards ...
as
Dr. Jennifer Melfi Jennifer Melfi is a fictional character on the HBO TV series ''The Sopranos''. She is the psychiatrist of Mafia boss Tony Soprano. She is portrayed by Lorraine Bracco. Character description Melfi is an Italian-American, with her father's famil ...
*
Edie Falco Edith Falco (born July 5, 1963) is an American actress. She is best known for portraying Carmela Soprano on the HBO series ''The Sopranos'' (1999–2007), and Nurse Jackie Peyton on the Showtime series ''Nurse Jackie'' (2009–2015). She also ...
as
Carmela Soprano Carmela Soprano (''née'' DeAngelis), played by Edie Falco, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series ''The Sopranos''. She is married to Mafia boss Tony Soprano. A young Carmela, portrayed by Lauren DiMario, appears in the 2021 prequel fil ...
*
Michael Imperioli Michael Imperioli (born March 26, 1966) is an American actor, writer, and musician. He is best known for his role as Christopher Moltisanti in the HBO crime drama ''The Sopranos'' (1999–2007), which earned him the Primetime Emmy Award for Ou ...
as
Christopher Moltisanti Christopher Moltisanti, played by Michael Imperioli, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series ''The Sopranos''. He is Tony Soprano's protégé and a member of the DiMeo crime family, rising from associate to captain over the course of th ...
* Dominic Chianese as Corrado Soprano, Jr. *
Vincent Pastore Vincent Pastore (; born July 14, 1946) is an American actor. Often cast as a mafioso, he is best known for his portrayal of Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero on the HBO series ''The Sopranos''. Early life Pastore was born to an Italian-Ameri ...
as Pussy Bonpensiero * *
Steven Van Zandt Steven Van Zandt (né Lento; born November 22, 1950), also known as Little Steven or Miami Steve, is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and actor. He is a member of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, in which he plays guitar and mandoli ...
as
Silvio Dante Silvio Manfred Dante is a fictional character on the HBO TV series ''The Sopranos'', played by Steven Van Zandt. He is the consigliere and right-hand man to Tony Soprano in the DiMeo crime family. John Magaro portrays a young Silvio Dante in ...
*
Tony Sirico Gennaro Anthony Sirico Jr. (; July 29, 1942 – July 8, 2022) was an American actor. He was best known for his role as Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri in ''The Sopranos''. He also made numerous appearances in the films of Woody Allen. Early life S ...
as
Paulie Gualtieri Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri is a fictional character portrayed by Tony Sirico on the HBO series ''The Sopranos'', one of the chief henchmen of series protagonist Tony Soprano. Sirico originally auditioned for the role of Uncle Junior ...
*
Robert Iler Robert Michael Iler (; born March 2, 1985) is an American former actor. He is best known for his portrayal of A.J. Soprano on ''The Sopranos''. His film roles include ''Tadpole'' (2002), and ''Daredevil'' (2003). Career Iler appeared in the vi ...
as
Anthony Soprano, Jr. Anthony John "A.J." Soprano Jr. is a fictional character on the HBO television series ''The Sopranos'', portrayed by Robert Iler. He is the son of Carmela and Tony Soprano and the little brother of Meadow Soprano. Biography Anthony was born i ...
* *
Jamie-Lynn Sigler Jamie-Lynn Sigler (born May 15, 1981) is an American actress. She is best known for her role as Meadow Soprano on the HBO series ''The Sopranos''. Early life Jamie-Lynn Sigler was born in Jericho, New York, on May 15, 1981, the daughter of S ...
as Meadow Soprano * Nancy Marchand as Livia Soprano ''* = credit only''


Guest starring

*
Michael Rispoli Michael Rispoli is an American character actor. He was a contender for the role of Tony Soprano in the HBO television series ''The Sopranos,'' but was ultimately cast as Jackie Aprile, a recurring character in the show’s first season. Ris ...
as Jackie Aprile, Sr *
Jerry Adler Jerry Adler (born February 4, 1929) is an American theatre director, producer, and film and television actor. He is perhaps best known for his films ''Manhattan Murder Mystery'', '' The Public Eye'', '' In Her Shoes'', and ''Prime'', and for his ...
as Hesh Rabkin * John Ventimiglia as Artie Bucco * Kathrine Narducci as Charmaine Bucco * Ned Eisenberg as Ariel * Chuck Low as Shlomo


Also guest starring


Synopsis

Shlomo Teittleman is the head of a
Hasidic Hasidism, sometimes spelled Chassidism, and also known as Hasidic Judaism ( Ashkenazi Hebrew: חסידות ''Ḥăsīdus'', ; originally, "piety"), is a Jewish religious group that arose as a spiritual revival movement in the territory of conte ...
Jewish family. His daughter is seeking a divorce from her husband Ariel, who claims that he has built up one of the family businesses, a
motel A motel, also known as a motor hotel, motor inn or motor lodge, is a hotel designed for motorists, usually having each room entered directly from the parking area for motor vehicles rather than through a central lobby. Entering dictionarie ...
, and will only consent to a divorce if he receives a 50% stake in it. Teittleman approaches Tony, who agrees to remove Ariel's claim in return for a 25% stake. Ariel turns out to be very tough, both emotionally and physically, and will not yield, however much he is beaten up by Silvio and Paulie. They consult Tony, who consults Hesh, who obliquely suggests threatening him with
castration Castration is any action, surgical, chemical, or otherwise, by which an individual loses use of the testicles: the male gonad. Surgical castration is bilateral orchiectomy (excision of both testicles), while chemical castration uses pharm ...
; Ariel yields. Teittleman then attempts to renegotiate the agreement; Tony, menacing, refuses. Jackie remains in the hospital. Tony takes him a dancer from the Bada Bing, posing as a nurse, for a "private party". However, Jackie's condition continues to deteriorate and he is unable to think of anything else.
Artie Artie is a masculine given name, usually a diminutive of Arthur. Notable people with the given name include: People * Artie Bettles (1891–1971), Australian rules footballer * Artie Butler (born 1942), American popular music arranger, songwrite ...
is still depressed by the loss of his restaurant; the insurance company continues to suspect
arson Arson is the crime of willfully and deliberately setting fire to or charring property. Although the act of arson typically involves buildings, the term can also refer to the intentional burning of other things, such as motor vehicles, wate ...
. He and Charmaine cater a charity event at the Sopranos' home; when he complains again, an altercation between him and Tony turns into a boyish food fight. During the event, Carmela offends Charmaine by seeming to treat her like a servant. Afterward, while they are clearing up, Charmaine confides that, years ago, before Carmela and Tony were married, she slept with Tony.
Meadow A meadow ( ) is an open habitat, or field, vegetated by grasses, herbs, and other non- woody plants. Trees or shrubs may sparsely populate meadows, as long as these areas maintain an open character. Meadows may be naturally occurring or arti ...
and one of her friends, Hunter Scangarelo, exhausted from choir practice and studying for the SATs, decide they need
speed In everyday use and in kinematics, the speed (commonly referred to as ''v'') of an object is the magnitude of the change of its position over time or the magnitude of the change of its position per unit of time; it is thus a scalar quant ...
and go to
Christopher Christopher is the English version of a Europe-wide name derived from the Greek name Χριστόφορος (''Christophoros'' or '' Christoforos''). The constituent parts are Χριστός (''Christós''), "Christ" or " Anointed", and φέρε ...
for a supply. Chris initially refuses, fearing Tony's wrath if he finds out; his girlfriend Adriana La Cerva convinces him to do it anyway, as the girls are likely to get adulterated and unsafe drugs from less trustworthy dealers. Chris agrees to provide the speed, stressing that Meadow must never speak of it. At the recital Meadow and Hunter, showing subtle signs of methamphetamine use, sing their brief solos successfully. Chris and Brendan return the stolen truck, and Junior discusses what action to take with his underling, Mikey Palmice, and with
Livia Livia Drusilla (30 January 59 BC – 28 September AD 29) was a Roman empress from 27 BC to AD 14 as the wife of Emperor Augustus Caesar. She was known as Julia Augusta after her formal adoption into the Julian family in AD 14. Livia was the ...
. Obliquely, she advises him to punish Chris and to take drastic action against Brendan. Out alone one night, Chris is seized by Russian thugs who prepare to kill him. He thinks they have been sent by Tony because he sold the speed to Meadow. Terrified, he pleads for his life, but it is only a
mock execution A mock execution is a stratagem in which a victim is deliberately but falsely made to feel that their execution or that of another person is imminent or is taking place. The subject is made to believe that they are being led to their own execution ...
. Brendan is shot dead by Mikey; Junior glances at the body.


First appearances

* Rosalie Aprile: wife of the acting boss, Jackie Aprile, and friend of Carmela Soprano. * Hillel Teittleman: co-owner of the Fly Away Motel.


Connections to future episodes

In the hospital Jackie Aprile, Sr. likens Mikey Palmice to the Grim Reaper. In " From Where to Eternity" Christopher, believing he is in Hell, sees Mikey there. In the same episode, a psychic tells Paulie that Mikey is the leader of the dead souls following him.


Deceased

*
Brendan Filone The Soprano family (originally the DiMeo family) is a fictional Italian-American crime family featured in the HBO series ''The Sopranos'' and the prequel film ''The Many Saints of Newark''. Based in New Jersey, the family consists of an administra ...
: shot through the eye by Mikey Palmice on orders of Uncle Junior.


Title reference

* Denial, anger, and acceptance are the first, second, and fifth stages, respectively, described in the
Kübler-Ross model The five stages of grief model (or the Kübler-Ross model) is popularly known as a model that describes a series of emotions experienced by people who are grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In actuality, the Kübler-R ...
. These stages pertain to people suffering from terminal illnesses (such as Jackie Aprile); they also apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss, which many other characters face in this and other episodes. * Tony has three therapy sessions with Dr. Melfi in this episode. The sessions each depict Tony expressing denial, anger, and acceptance regarding Jackie's illness.


Production

* This is the first episode where Irina is played by Oksana Lada. She was originally portrayed by Siberia Federico in the pilot.


Reception

In a retrospective review,
Emily St. James Emily St. James (formerly Emily Nicole VanDerWerff; born November 30, 1982) is an American critic, journalist, podcaster, and author. She primarily writes about television. She has written for '' Vox'', ''The A.V. Club'', ''The Guardian'', the ' ...
of '' The A.V. Club'' wrote that the " ndingmontage - intercut with Tony watching Meadow sing - is one of the first moments when ''The Sopranos'' takes music and rises above its prosaic, muddy universe to become something like sublime"; St. James commented that although the episode "is a 'Let's get the plot wheels turning!' kind of episode, and those sorts of episodes can be a little trying from time to time", there is nonetheless "lots of it that is just expertly executed".
Alan Sepinwall Alan Sepinwall (born October 19, 1973) is an American television reviewer and writer. He spent 14 years as a columnist with ''The Star-Ledger'' in Newark until leaving the newspaper in 2010 to work for the entertainment news website HitFix. He ...
praised Gandolfini's performance as well as the story involving Carmela and Charmaine, writing that the show "has a really great eye and ear for insults – particularly ones not necessarily intended as such".


Cultural references

* Tony calls the painting in Melfi's waiting room a "Korshak" test, confusing it with the
Rorschach inkblot test The Rorschach test is a projective psychological test in which subjects' perceptions of inkblots are recorded and then analyzed using psychological interpretation, complex algorithms, or both. Some psychologists use this test to examine a p ...
. Sidney Korshak was a prominent lawyer and "fixer" known for his involvement with the mob, Hollywood, and those with political power. * When Tony is in his Russian mistress' bedroom he notices a painting on her wall and asks what she sees in it. The painting, depicting a splash in a pool, is an imitation
David Hockney David Hockney (born 9 July 1937) is an English painter, draftsman, printmaker, stage designer, and photographer. As an important contributor to the pop art movement of the 1960s, he is considered one of the most influential British artists o ...
. She says that it reminds her of "David Hockey." * Ariel the Hassidic Jew who resists Silvio and Tony's intimidation and torture mentions Shlomo the king and the historic
Siege of Masada The siege of Masada was one of the final events in the First Jewish–Roman War, occurring from 73 to 74 CE on and around a hilltop in present-day Israel. The siege is known to history via a single source, Flavius Josephus, a Jewish rebel leade ...
where Jews chose suicide instead of defeat against the
Romans Roman or Romans most often refers to: *Rome, the capital city of Italy * Ancient Rome, Roman civilization from 8th century BC to 5th century AD *Roman people, the people of ancient Rome *''Epistle to the Romans'', shortened to ''Romans'', a lette ...
. * When Tony and Silvio meet with Schlomo, Tony refers to him as "
ZZ Top ZZ Top is an American rock band formed in 1969 in Houston, Texas. For 51 years, they comprised vocalist-guitarist Billy Gibbons, drummer Frank Beard and vocalist-bassist Dusty Hill, until Hill's death in 2021. ZZ Top developed a signature sou ...
", referring to the rock band known for their long beards. * Hesh tells Tony to "Finish his ''bris'' (
circumcision Circumcision is a procedure that removes the foreskin from the human penis. In the most common form of the operation, the foreskin is extended with forceps, then a circumcision device may be placed, after which the foreskin is excised. Top ...
)." "Make like a ''mohel'' ( man who performs circumcisions)."


Filming locations

In order of first appearance: *
Wayne, New Jersey Wayne is a township in Passaic County, New Jersey, United States. Home to William Paterson University and located less than from Midtown Manhattan, the township is a bedroom suburb of New York City and regional commercial hub of North Jersey. ...
* Washington Middle School in
Harrison, New Jersey Harrison is a town in the western part of Hudson County in the U.S. state of New Jersey. It is part of the New York metropolitan area. It is a suburb of the nearby city of Newark, New Jersey, and is located from New York City. As of the 2 ...
*
Satriale's Pork Store Satriale's Pork Store is a fictional establishment on the HBO series ''The Sopranos''. During the 1970s, the pork store was taken over by Johnny Soprano, a capo in the DiMeo crime family, when Francis Satriale failed to make payments on a gambling ...
in
Kearny, New Jersey Kearny ( ) is a town in the western part of Hudson County, New Jersey, United States and a suburb of Newark. As of the 2010 United States Census, the town's population was 40,684,North Caldwell, New Jersey North Caldwell is a borough in northwestern Essex County, New Jersey, United States, and a suburb of New York City. As of the 2020 United States census, the borough's population was 6,694, an increase of 511 (+8.3%) from the 2010 census count ...
* Kearny, New Jersey


Music

* The song played on Christopher's car radio after he and Brendan return the stolen truck is "Gawk" by Ethyline. * The song played when Junior and Mikey eat dinner and discuss the situation regarding Christopher and Brendan is "Melodia del Rio" by Rubén González. * The song played when Meadow and Hunter are discussing buying meth over the phone is "This Is How We Roll" by Bedroom Productions. *The song played when Christopher delivers the crystal meth to Meadow in her room is "Turn of the Century" by
Damon and Naomi Damon & Naomi are an American dream pop/indie folk duo, formed in 1991 by Damon Krukowski and Naomi Yang, formerly of Galaxie 500. History After Galaxie 500 completed a tour of the US supporting Cocteau Twins, guitarist and vocalist Dean Wareha ...
. * The song played when Carmela has her fundraising dinner for a pediatric hospital is "Happy Feet" by Paolo Conte. * The song played when Tony meets Irina for an illicit rendezvous but is interrupted by Silvio is "Tenderly" by
Chet Baker Chesney Henry "Chet" Baker Jr. (December 23, 1929 – May 13, 1988) was an American jazz trumpeter and vocalist. He is known for major innovations in cool jazz that led him to be nicknamed the "Prince of Cool". Baker earned much attention and ...
. * The song played over the end credits is "Complicated Shadows" by
Elvis Costello Declan Patrick MacManus OBE (born 25 August 1954), known professionally as Elvis Costello, is an English singer-songwriter and record producer. He has won multiple awards in his career, including a Grammy Award in 2020, and has twice been nom ...
. * The song that Meadow and her choir sing is "All Through the Night", a Welsh song
Ar Hyd y Nos "Ar Hyd y Nos" () is a Welsh song sung to a tune that was first recorded in Edward Jones' ''Musical and Poetical Relics of the Welsh Bards'' (1784). The most commonly sung Welsh lyrics were written by John Ceiriog Hughes (1832-1887), and have b ...
with English lyrics.


References


External links


"Denial, Anger, Acceptance"
at HBO * {{The Sopranos The Sopranos (season 1) episodes 1999 American television episodes fr:À Bout de Souffle (Les Soprano)