Dating abuse or dating violence is the perpetration or threat of an act of

violence Violence is the use of physical force so as to injure, abuse, damage, or destroy. Other definitions are also used, such as the World Health Organization's definition of violence as "the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened ...

by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member in the context of

dating Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...

courtship Courtship is the period wherein some couples get to know each other prior to a possible marriage. Courtship traditionally may begin after a betrothal and may conclude with the celebration of marriage. A courtship may be an informal and private m ...

. It also arises when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse or violence, for example when a relationship has broken down. This abuse or violence can take a number of forms, such as

sexual assault Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. It is a form of sexual violence, which ...

sexual harassment Sexual harassment is a type of harassment involving the use of explicit or implicit sexual overtones, including the unwelcome and inappropriate promises of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. Sexual harassment includes a range of actions fr ...

, threats, physical violence, verbal, mental, or

emotional abuse Emotions are mental states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioral responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure. There is currently no scientific consensus on a definition ...

, social sabotage, and

stalking Stalking is unwanted and/or repeated surveillance by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are interrelated to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. The term ...

. In extreme cases it may manifest in

date rape Date rape is a form of acquaintance rape and dating violence. The two phrases are often used interchangeably, but date rape specifically refers to a rape in which there has been some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship between ...

. It can include

psychological abuse Psychological abuse, often called emotional abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another person to a behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumat ...

emotional blackmail Emotional blackmail and FOG are terms popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and t ...

sexual abuse Sexual abuse or sex abuse, also referred to as molestation, is abusive sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another. Molestation often refers to an instance of sexual assa ...

physical abuse Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. In most cases, children are the victims of physical abuse, but adults can also be victims, as in cases of domestic violence or wo ...

and

psychological manipulation Manipulation in psychology is a behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage. Definitions for the term vary in which behavior is specifically included, influenced by both culture and whether referring t ...

. Though most frequently the perpetrator of abuse is a male partner against a female partner, abuse by a female partner against a male also takes place. Dating violence crosses all racial, age, economic and social lines. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness describes dating abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner."

Profiles of abuser and victim

Individuals of all walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship. Abuse can occur regardless of the couple's age, race, income, or other

demographic Demography () is the statistical study of populations, especially human beings. Demographic analysis examines and measures the dimensions and dynamics of populations; it can cover whole societies or groups defined by criteria such as ed ...

traits. There are, however, many traits that abusers and victims share in common. The Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence describes abusers as being obsessively

jealous Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust. ...

and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors. Meanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of injury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family.Common Myths and Facts
Alabama Public Health Training Center. pp. 3–4. Victims may

blame Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, or making negative statements about an individual or group that their actions or inaction are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for ...

themselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimize the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships. Strauss (2005) argues that while men inflict the greater share of injuries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of injuries inflicted by women. Additionally, Strauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern: :'Minor' assaults perpetrated by women are also a major problem, even when they do not result in injury, because they put women in danger of much more severe retaliation by men. ..It will be argued that in order to end 'wife beating,' it is essential for women also to end what many regard as a 'harmless' pattern of slapping, kicking, or throwing something at a male partner who persists in some outrageous behavior and 'won't listen to reason.' Similarly, Deborah Capaldi"quoted in Sacks, Glenn. (2009
Researcher Says Women's Initiation of Domestic Violence Predicts Risk to Women
" on ''

HuffPost ''HuffPost'' (formerly ''The Huffington Post'' until 2017 and sometimes abbreviated ''HuffPo'') is an American progressive news website, with localized and international editions. The site offers news, satire, blogs, and original content, and ...

'', 6 July 2009. Retrieved 9 January 2019. reports that a 13-year longitudinal study found that a woman's aggression towards a man was equally important as the man's tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: "Since much IPV ntimate Partner Violenceis mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety." However, Capaldi's research only focused on at-risk youth, not women in general, and, therefore, may not apply to the entire population.

Characteristics

Emotional abuse

*They are afraid of their date *They are afraid of making the date angry and are unable to even disagree with the date. *Their date has publicly embarrassed and humiliated them.

Psychological abuse

*The date threatens to use violence against them or against themself. (e.g. "If you leave me, I will kill myself".)

Sexual abuse

*The date forces their partner to have sex with them. *They are afraid to say 'no' to the date's demand for a sexual act from them. *The date does not respect them, and is only interested in gratifying their own sexual needs. *The date does not care about the consequences of the sexual act or how their partner feels about it.

Physical abuse

*They were subjected to some physical attacks by their partner *The date has held them down, pushed them, or even punched, kicked or thrown things at them.

Controlling behaviour

*The date has tried to keep them from seeing friends. *They are restricted from contacting their family *They are even forced to choose between the date and their family and friends. *The date insists on knowing where they are at all times and demands that they justify everything they do. *The date will be furious if they spoke with another person of their preferred sex. *The date expects them to ask permission before seeking health care for themselves. *The date dictates what they wear and how they appear in public.

References

External links

* ;Canadian resources:
RespectED
Provided by the Canadian Red Cross, give information to teens, parents, and teachers about abuse in dating relationships. ;UK resources:
The HideoutWomen's AidRespect
;US resources:
Center for Relationship Abuse AwarenessNational Domestic Violence Hotline
- created by the Alabama Coalition Against Dating Violence, provides a Dating Bill of Rights.
Jennifer Ann.org
- provides free educational materials to schools and groups and sponsors video game contests about teen dating violence from

Jennifer Ann's Group The Jennifer Ann Crecente Memorial Group, Inc., commonly known as "Jennifer Ann's Group", is a Code Section 501(c)(3) public charity based in Atlanta, Georgia, whose aims are to educate young people about the prevalence of teen dating violence, ...

.
Love Is Not Abuse.org
- sponsored by

Liz Claiborne Anne Elisabeth Jane Claiborne (March 31, 1929 – June 26, 2007) was an American fashion designer and businesswoman. Her success was built upon stylish yet affordable apparel for career women featuring colorfully tailored separates that co ...

, provides educational materials.
Love Is Respect.org
- runs the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
- offers articles and fact sheets.
The Safe Space.org
- created by Break the Cycle, offers information and allows teens to submit questions. {{DEFAULTSORT:Dating Abuse Abuse Violence Dating Intimate partner violence Gender-related violence