Bereavement in Judaism

Bereavement in Judaism () is a combination of '' minhag'' and '' mitzvah'' derived from the Torah and Judaism's classical rabbinic texts. The details of observance and practice vary according to each Jewish community.

Mourners

In Judaism, the principal mourners are the first-degree relatives: parent, child, sibling, and spouse. There are some customs that are unique to an individual mourning a parent.

Halachot concerning mourning do not apply to those under thirteen years of age, nor do they apply when the deceased is aged 30 days or less.

Upon receiving news of the death

Upon receiving the news of the death, the following blessing is recited:

:
:Transliteration:
:Translation: "Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the universe, the Judge of Truth lt., the Just Judge"

There is also a custom of rending one's clothes at the moment one hears news of a death. Another prevalent custom is to tear at the funeral.Klein, Isaac, A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice, Ktav Publishing House, 1979, page 278.

Terminology and timing

* Aveil (plural ''Aveilim'') – mourner(s).
* Aveilut – mourning (there are different levels, based on who & timing):
** Aninut – generally the day when the news is heard; before burial. A mourner in this period is known as an ''onen''.
** Shiva – seven days, from the Hebrew word for seven. Begins day of burial.
** Shloshim – 30 days, starting from the day of burial.
** Yud Bais Chodesh – 12 months, for a parent. Yud Bais (Yiddish), or Yud Bet (Hebrew), means 12. Chodesh means month.
* Chevra kadisha – burial society.
* Hesped – Eulogy.
* Kaddish – said by a mourner (or by someone else, on behalf of ...)
* Keriah – tearing. Timing varies by custom. At times deferred to funeral chapel or at the cemetery.
* Kvura – burial.
* Levaya – The funeral service. The word means escort(ing).
* L'Illui Nishmat - Hebrew for Elevation of the soul, sometimes abbreviated LI"N.
* Matzevah – means monument or tombstone. See Unveiling of the tombstone
* Petira – passing
* Shemira – watching or guarding of the body until burial, to ensure it is not left unaccompanied
* Tahara – purification (by water) of the body
* Yahrtzeit – is Yiddish for anniversary of the (Hebrew/Jewish) date of passing.

Chevra kadisha

The '' chevra kadisha'' ( he, חברה קדישא "sacred society") is a Jewish burial society usually consisting of volunteers, men and women, who prepare the deceased for proper Jewish burial. Their job is to ensure that the body of the deceased is shown proper respect, ritually cleansed, and shrouded.

Many local ''chevra kadishas'' in urban areas are affiliated with local synagogues, and they often own their own burial plots in various local cemeteries. Some Jews pay an annual token membership fee to the ''chevra kadisha'' of their choice, so that when the time comes, the society will not only attend to the body of the deceased as befits Jewish law, but will also ensure burial in a plot that it controls at an appropriate nearby Jewish cemetery.

If no gravediggers are available, then it is additionally the function of the male society members to ensure that graves are dug. In Israel, members of ''chevra kadishas'' consider it an honor to not only prepare the body for burial but also to dig the grave for a fellow Jew's body, particularly if the deceased was known to be a righteous person.

Many burial societies hold one or two annual fast days, especially the 7th day of Adar, Yartzeit of Moshe Rabbeinu ( Moses), and organize regular study sessions to remain up to date with the relevant articles of Jewish law. In addition, most burial societies also support families during the ''shiva'' (traditional week of mourning) by arranging prayer services, preparing meals, and providing other services for the mourners.

Preparing the body — ''taharah''

There are three major stages to preparing the body for burial: washing (''rechitzah''), ritual purification (''taharah''), and dressing (''halbashah''). The term ''taharah'' is used to refer both to the overall process of burial preparation, and to the specific step of ritual purification.

Prayers and readings from Torah, including Psalms, Song of Songs, Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Zechariah are recited.

The general sequence of steps for performing ''taharah'' is as follows.

# The body (''guf'') is uncovered (it has been covered with a sheet awaiting ''taharah'').
# The body is washed carefully. Any bleeding is stopped and all blood is buried along with the deceased. The body is thoroughly cleaned of dirt, body fluids, and solids, and anything else that may be on the skin. All jewelry is removed. The beard (if present) is not shaved.
# The body is purified with water, either by immersion in a '' mikveh'' or by pouring a continuous stream of 9 kavim (usually 3 buckets) in a prescribed manner.
# The body is dried (according to most customs).
# The body is dressed in traditional burial clothing ('' tachrichim''). A sash (''avnet'') is wrapped around the clothing and tied in the form of the Hebrew letter '' shin,'' representing one of the names of God.
# The casket (''aron'') (if there is one) is prepared by removing any linings or other embellishments. A winding sheet (''sovev'') is laid into the casket. Outside the Land of Israel, if the deceased wore a prayer shawl ('' tallit'') during their life, one is laid in the casket for wrapping the body once it is placed therein. One of the corner fringes (''tzitzit'') is removed from the shawl to signify that it will no longer be used for prayer and that the person is absolved from having to keep any of the ''mitzvot'' (commandments).
# The body is lifted into the casket and wrapped in the prayer shawl and sheet. Soil (''afar'') from Eretz Israel, if available, is placed over various parts of the body and sprinkled in the casket.
# The casket is closed.

After the closing of the casket, the ''chevra'' asks forgiveness of the deceased for any inadvertent lack of honor shown to the deceased in the preparation of the body for burial.

Caskets are not used in Israel (with the exception of military and state funerals) or in many parts of the Diaspora, especially in Eastern Europe and Arab countries. Instead, the body is carried to the grave (or guided on a gurney) wrapped in a shroud and ''tallit'' and placed directly in the earth. In the Diaspora, in general, a casket is only used if required by local law. Traditionally, caskets are simple and made of unfinished wood; both wood with a finish and metal would slow the return of the body to dust (). Strictly-observant practice avoids all metal; the wood parts of the casket are joined by wood dowels rather than nails.

There is no viewing of the body and no open casket at the funeral. Sometimes the immediate family pay their final respects before the funeral.

From death until burial, it is traditional for guards or watchers (''shomrim'') to stay with the deceased. It is traditional to recite Psalms (''tehillim'') during this time.

Funeral service

The Jewish funeral consists of a burial, also known as an interment. Cremation is forbidden. Burial is considered to allow the body to decompose naturally, therefore embalming is forbidden. Burial is intended to take place in as short an interval of time after death as possible. Displaying of the body prior to burial does not take place. Flowers are usually not found at a traditional Jewish funeral but may be seen at statesmen's or heroes' funerals in Israel.

In Israel, the Jewish funeral service usually commences at the burial ground. In the United States and Canada, the funeral service commences either at a funeral home or at the cemetery. Occasionally the service will commence at a synagogue. In the case of a prominent individual, the funeral service can begin at a synagogue or a yeshivah. If the funeral service begins at a point other than at the cemetery, the entourage accompanies the body in a procession to the cemetery. Usually the funeral ceremony is brief and includes the recitation of psalms, followed by a eulogy (''hesped''), and finishes with a traditional closing prayer, the El Moley Rachamim. The funeral, the procession accompanying the body to the place of burial, and the burial, are referred to by the word ''levayah,'' meaning "escorting." ''Levayah'' also indicates "joining" and "bonding." This aspect of the meaning of ''levayah'' conveys the suggestion of a commonality among the souls of the living and the dead.

Yemenite Jews, prior to their immigration to the land of Israel, maintained an ancient practice during the funeral procession to halt at, at least, seven stations before the actual burial of the dead, beginning from the entrance of the house from whence the bier is taken, to the graveyard itself. This has come to be known as ''Ma'amad u'Moshav'', (lit. "Standing and Sitting"), or "seven standings and sittings," and is mentioned in Tosefta ''Pesahim'' 2: 14–15, during which obsequies only men and boys thirteen years and older took part, but never women. At these stations, the bier is let down by the pallbearers upon the ground, and those accompanying will recite "''Hatzur Tamim Pe'ulo''," etc. "''Ana Bakoach''," etc., said in a doleful dirge-like melody, and which verses are followed by one of the party reading certain Midrashic literature and liturgical verse that speaks about death, and which are said to eulogize the deceased.

''Keriah''

The mourners traditionally make a tear (''keriah'' or ''kriah'', ) in an outer garment before or at the funeral. The tearing is required to extend in length to a '' tefach'' (handbreadth), or what is equivalent to about . The tear should be on the left side (over the heart and clearly visible) for a parent, including foster parents, and on the right side for siblings (including half-brothers and half-sisters), children, and spouses (and does not need to be visible). Non-Orthodox Jews will often make the ''keriah'' in a small black ribbon that is pinned to the lapel rather than in the lapel itself.

In the instance when a mourner receives the news of the death and burial of a relative after an elapsed period of 30 days or more, there is no ''keriah'', or tearing of the garment, except in the case of a parent. In the case of a parent, the tearing of the garment is to be performed no matter how long a period has elapsed between the time of death and the time of receiving the news.

If a child of the deceased needs to change clothes during the ''shiva'' period, they must tear the changed clothes. No other family member is required to tear changed clothes during ''shiva''. Children of the deceased may never sew the torn clothes, but any other mourner may mend the clothing 30 days after the burial.

Eulogies

A ''hesped'' is a eulogy, and it is common for several people to speak at the start of the ceremony at the funeral home, as well as prior to burial at the gravesite.

" d Abraham came to eulogize Sarah." uses the word "Lispod" from which is derived the Hebrew term Hesped.

There is more than one purpose for the eulogy.
* it is both for the deceased and the living, and should appropriately praise the person's good deeds.
* to make us cry

Some people specify in their wills that nothing should be said about them.

Days of "no eulogy"

Eulogies are forbidden on certain days; likewise on a Friday afternoon.

Some other times are:
* each month's Jewish New Moon ( Rosh Chodesh)
* the four days between Yom Kippur and Sukkot
* '' Chol HaMo'ed'' ("intermediate days" of Jewish holidays)
* during the month of Nisan

A more general guideline is that when the Tachanun (supplication prayer) is omitted, it is permitted to deliver a brief eulogy emphasizing only the praise of the departed; the extensive eulogy is postponed, and may be said at another time during the year of mourning.

Burial

''Kevura'', or burial, should take place as soon as possible after death. The ''Torah'' requires burial as soon as possible, even for executed criminals. Burial is delayed "for the honor of the deceased," usually to allow more time for far-flung family to come to the funeral and participate in the other post-burial rituals, but also to hire professionals, or to bury the deceased in a cemetery of their choice.

Respect for the dead can be seen from many examples in the ''Torah'' and ''Tanakh

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