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Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistant or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. Kindness is a topic of interest in philosophy, religion, and psychology. Kindness was one of the main topics in the
Bible The Bible (from Koine Greek , , 'the books') is a collection of religious texts or scriptures that are held to be sacred in Christianity Christianity is an Abrahamic monotheistic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus ...
. In Book II of "
Rhetoric Rhetoric () is the art of persuasion, which along with grammar and logic (or dialectic), is one of the three ancient arts of discourse. Rhetoric aims to study the techniques writers or speakers utilize to inform, persuade, or motivate par ...
",
Aristotle Aristotle (; grc-gre, Ἀριστοτέλης ''Aristotélēs'', ; 384–322 BC) was a Greek philosopher and polymath during the Classical period in Ancient Greece. Taught by Plato, he was the founder of the Peripatetic school of ...
defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped".
Nietzsche Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (; or ; 15 October 1844 – 25 August 1900) was a German philosopher, prose poet, cultural critic, philologist, and composer whose work has exerted a profound influence on contemporary philosophy. He began his car ...
considered kindness and love to be the "most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse". Kindness is considered to be one of the Knightly Virtues. In
Meher Baba Meher Baba (born Merwan Sheriar Irani; 25 February 1894  – 31 January 1969) was an Indian spiritual master who said he was the Avatar, or God in human form, of the age. A major spiritual figure of the 20th century, he had a following of ...
's teachings, God is synonymous with kindness: "God is so kind that it is impossible to imagine His unbounded kindness!"


History

In English, the word ''kindness'' is from approximately 1300, though the word's sense evolved to its current meanings in the late 1300s. Over time, it has acted in part of a
personality trait In psychology, trait theory (also called dispositional theory) is an approach to the study of human personality. Trait theorists are primarily interested in the measurement of ''traits'', which can be defined as habitual patterns of behaviour, tho ...
as a long tradition of generosity through human cultures and
family-friendly A family-friendly product or service is one that is considered to be suitable for all members of an average family. Family-friendly restaurants are ones that provide service to families that have young children. Frequently, family-friendly produc ...
benefits in the concept of
hospitality Hospitality is the relationship between a guest and a host, wherein the host receives the guest with some amount of goodwill, including the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. Louis, chevalier de Jaucourt describes ...
.


In society

In human mating choice, studies suggest that both men and women value kindness in their prospective mates, along with intelligence, physical appearance, attractiveness and age.


Nice guy

A "nice guy" is an informal and usually stereotypical term for an (often young) adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive, and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively. When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of
honesty Honesty or truthfulness is a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, th ...
,
loyalty Loyalty, in general use, is a devotion and faithfulness to a nation, cause, philosophy, country, group, or person. Philosophers disagree on what can be an object of loyalty, as some argue that loyalty is strictly interpersonal and only another ...
,
romanticism Romanticism (also known as the Romantic movement or Romantic era) was an artistic, literary, musical, and intellectual movement that originated in Europe towards the end of the 18th century, and in most areas was at its peak in the approximate ...
,
courtesy Courtesy (from the word ''courteis'', from the 12th century) is Gentleness, gentle politeness and Royal court, courtly Etiquette, manners. In the Middle Ages in Europe, the behaviour expected of the nobility was compiled in courtesy books. Hist ...
, and
respect Respect, also called esteem, is a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. It is also the process of ...
. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating (in which the term is often used), uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.


In psychology

Based on experiments at Yale University using games with babies, some studies concluded that kindness is inherent to human beings. There are similar studies about the root of empathy in infancy – motor
mirroring Mirroring is the behavior in which one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family, often going unnotice ...
developing in the early months of life, to lead (optimally) to the concern shown by children for their peers in distress. Barbara Taylor and Adam Phillips have stressed the element of necessary realism in adult kindness, as well as the way "real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways".


In literature

* The ''
Tirukkural The ''Tirukkuṟaḷ'' ( ta, திருக்குறள், lit=sacred verses), or shortly the ''Kural'' ( ta, குறள்), is a classic Tamil language text consisting of 1,330 short couplets, or kurals, of seven words each. The tex ...
,'' an ancient Indian work on
ethics Ethics or moral philosophy is a branch of philosophy that "involves systematizing, defending, and recommending concepts of right and wrong behavior".''Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy'' The field of ethics, along with aesthetics, concer ...
and
morality Morality () is the differentiation of intentions, decisions and actions between those that are distinguished as proper (right) and those that are improper (wrong). Morality can be a body of standards or principles derived from a code of co ...
, dedicates a chapter to kindness (chapter 8, verses 71–80), furthering the value in other chapters, such as
hospitality Hospitality is the relationship between a guest and a host, wherein the host receives the guest with some amount of goodwill, including the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. Louis, chevalier de Jaucourt describes ...
(verses 81–90), uttering pleasant words (verses 91–100),
compassion Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to relieve the physical, mental or emotional pains of others and themselves. Compassion is often regarded as being sensitive to the emotional aspects of the suffering of others. When based on n ...
(verses 241–250), moral vegetarianism (verses 251–260),
non-violence Nonviolence is the personal practice of not causing harm to others under any condition. It may come from the belief that hurting people, animals and/or the environment is unnecessary to achieve an outcome and it may refer to a general philosoph ...
(verses 311–320),
non-killing Nonkilling, popularised as a concept in the 2002 book ''Nonkilling Global Political Science,'' by Glenn D. Paige, refers to the absence of killing, threats to kill, and conditions conducive to killing in human society. Even though the use of the ...
(verses 321–330), and
benignity Malignancy () is the tendency of a medical condition to become progressively worse. Malignancy is most familiar as a characterization of cancer. A ''malignant'' tumor contrasts with a non-cancerous ''benign'' tumor in that a malignancy is not s ...
(verses 571–580), among others. *
Mark Twain Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has pr ...
from a
compassion Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to relieve the physical, mental or emotional pains of others and themselves. Compassion is often regarded as being sensitive to the emotional aspects of the suffering of others. When based on n ...
point of view considered "Kindness
s a S, or s, is the nineteenth letter in the Latin alphabet, used in the modern English alphabet, the alphabets of other western European languages and others worldwide. Its name in English is ''ess'' (pronounced ), plural ''esses''. Histor ...
language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." * It has been suggested that "most of
Shakespeare William Shakespeare ( 26 April 1564 – 23 April 1616) was an English playwright, poet and actor. He is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called England's nation ...
's opus could be considered a study of human kindness". *
Robert Louis Stevenson Robert Louis Stevenson (born Robert Lewis Balfour Stevenson; 13 November 1850 – 3 December 1894) was a Scottish novelist, essayist, poet and travel writer. He is best known for works such as '' Treasure Island'', ''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll ...
considered that 'the essence of love is kindness; and indeed it may best be defined as passionate kindness: kindness, so to speak, run mad and become importunate and violent'. * The Christian apostle Paul lists kindness as one of the nine traits considered to be the " fruit of the Spirit" in Galatians 5:22. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 he states, "Love is patient, love is kind."


In media

The motion picture ''Pay it Forward'', based on the novel of the same name written in 1999 by the founder
Catherine Ryan Hyde Catherine Ryan Hyde (born 1955) is an American novelist and short story writer, with more recent forays and notable success in transitioning from traditional publication towards the world of eBook publication. Her novels have enjoyed bestseller sta ...
, which starred
Kevin Spacey Kevin Spacey Fowler (born July 26, 1959) is an American actor. He began his career as a stage actor during the 1980s, obtaining supporting roles before gaining a leading man status in film and television. Spacey has received various accolade ...
,
Helen Hunt Helen Elizabeth Hunt (born June 15, 1963) is an American actress and director. She is the recipient of numerous accolades, including an Academy Award, four Primetime Emmy Awards, and four Golden Globe Awards. Hunt rose to fame portraying Ja ...
, Haley Joel Osment and
Jon Bon Jovi John Francis Bongiovi Jr. (born March 2, 1962), known professionally as Jon Bon Jovi, is an American singer, songwriter, guitarist, and actor. He is best known as the founder and frontman of the rock band Bon Jovi, which was formed in 1983. He ...
, illustrates the power one person can have to make an impact on a chain reaction of kind deeds. The philosophy of ''Pay It Forward'' is that through acts of kindness among strangers, we all foster a more caring society. In the book and film, Reuben St. Clair, a social studies teacher in
Atascadero, California Atascadero (Spanish for "Mire") is a city in San Luis Obispo County, California, about equidistant from Los Angeles and San Francisco on U.S. Route 101. Atascadero is part of the San Luis Obispo-Paso Robles metropolitan statistical area, which e ...
, challenges his students to "change the world". One of his students, Trevor, takes the challenge to heart. He starts by showing kindness to a stranger which ripples further than he could have ever imagined. In October 2011, Life Vest Inside posted a video called "Kindness Boomerang".Archived a
Ghostarchive
and th
Wayback Machine
It shows how one act of kindness passes seamlessly from one person to the next and boomerangs back to the person who set it into motion. Orly Wahba, Life Vest Inside Founder and Director of Kindness Boomerang explains that each scene was based on real-life experiences she personally went through; moments of kindness that left a lasting impression on her life. Within several months after its release, Kindness Boomerang went viral; reaching over 20 million people globally and eventually invadingWahba spot on TED2013 stage to speak about the power of kindness. Singer-songwriter
Harry Styles Harry Edward Styles (born 1 February 1994) is an English singer, songwriter, and actor. His musical career began in 2010 as a solo contestant on the British music competition series '' The X Factor''. Following his elimination, he was brough ...
has been promoting kindness since at least 2017 with his slogan 'Treat People with Kindness', also abbreviated to 'TPWK'.


Teaching Kindness

Kindness is most often taught from parents to children and is learned through observation and some direct teaching. Studies have shown that through programs and interventions kindness can be taught and encouraged during the first 20 years of life. Further studies show that kindness interventions can help improve wellbeing with comparable results as teaching gratitude. Similar findings have shown that organizational level teaching of kindness can improve wellbeing of adults in college. Kindness is not present as a course in most institutions. Numerous religions teach their members to be kind and religiosity is associated with greater wellbeing and longevity.


Self-kindness

See also:
self-compassion Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main elements – self-kindness, common humanity, and min ...
Self-kindness means to act in a generous and considerate manner when one is going through pain, struggles, or hardships as opposed to ignoring them or being self-criticizing. This is different from self-esteem, which is more of an evaluation of oneself, whereas self-kindness is more about how one treats themselves. Self-kindness, as with other forms of kindness, is shown to improve well-being and longevity. What is theorized by David Snowden is that the ability to return to a positive affect when going through a negative life event or stress is what allows a person to be healthier and happier. It is about acknowledging the hardships and struggles in life and realizing that there is still room to grow and learn while experiencing these things. Also, kindness starts with being kind to yourself. Have you ever noticed how much better you treat others when you are good to yourself? Usually, we go through life, by going to work, answering emails, eating dinner, and more. But we forget to take a moment to breathe, assess what we need, and work for that. For example, sleep, or a relaxed meal. We need to be kind to ourselves when we misstep, which happens to everybody. Sometimes, we make other people the target of our own anger and frustration, what we really feel about ourselves we take it out on them. Should we keep doing that? For how long? I think it's time we all need to start loving ourselves more.


See also


References


Further reading

* *
Forget Survival of the Fittest: It Is Kindness That Counts
(January 2017), ''
Scientific American ''Scientific American'', informally abbreviated ''SciAm'' or sometimes ''SA'', is an American popular science magazine. Many famous scientists, including Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla, have contributed articles to it. In print since 1845, it ...
.'' "A psychologist probes how altruism, Darwinism, and neurobiology mean that we can succeed by not being cutthroat."


External links

*
Australian Kindness Movement

A UK independent, not-for-profit organisation

Random Acts of Kindness Foundation

Video with quotes about Kindness
from
Wikiquote Wikiquote is part of a family of wiki-based projects run by the Wikimedia Foundation using MediaWiki software. Based on an idea by Daniel Alston and implemented by Brion Vibber, the project's objective is to produce collaboratively a vast refer ...
{{Authority control Giving Virtue Ethics Seven virtues Fruit of the Holy Spirit Emotions Moral psychology