Marriage vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a

wedding ceremony A wedding is a ceremony in which two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, denominations, countries, social classes, and sexual orientations. Most wed ...

based upon Western Christian norms. They are not universal to marriage and not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. They are not even universal within Christian marriage, as

Eastern Christians Eastern Christianity comprises Christian traditions and church families that originally developed during classical and late antiquity in the Eastern Mediterranean region or locations further east, south or north. The term does not describe a ...

do not have marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.

Background

The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church. In England, there were manuals of the dioceses of Salisbury ( Sarum) and

York York is a cathedral city in North Yorkshire, England, with Roman Britain, Roman origins, sited at the confluence of the rivers River Ouse, Yorkshire, Ouse and River Foss, Foss. It has many historic buildings and other structures, such as a Yor ...

. The compilers of the first ''Book of Common Prayer'', published in 1549, based its marriage service mainly on the Sarum manual. Upon agreement to marry, the

Church of England The Church of England (C of E) is the State religion#State churches, established List of Christian denominations, Christian church in England and the Crown Dependencies. It is the mother church of the Anglicanism, Anglican Christian tradition, ...

usually offered couples a choice. The couple could promise each other to "

love Love is a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment (psychology), attachment to a person, animal, or thing. It is expressed in many forms, encompassing a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most su ...

and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".

Western Christianity

Roman Catholic

Couples wedding in the

Latin Church The Latin Church () is the largest autonomous () particular church within the Catholic Church, whose members constitute the vast majority of the 1.3 billion Catholics. The Latin Church is one of 24 Catholic particular churches and liturgical ...

of the

Catholic Church The Catholic Church (), also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the List of Christian denominations by number of members, largest Christian church, with 1.27 to 1.41 billion baptized Catholics Catholic Church by country, worldwid ...

essentially make the same pledge to one another. According to the Rite of Marriage (#25) the customary text in English is:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

In the United States, Catholic wedding vows may also take the following form:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

The priest will then say aloud "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen." Historically, in the

Sarum Rite The Use of Sarum (or Use of Salisbury, also known as the Sarum Rite) is the Use (liturgy), liturgical use of the Latin liturgical rites, Latin rites developed at Salisbury Cathedral and used from the late eleventh century until the English Refor ...

of the Catholic Church, vow of the wife reads as follows:

N. Vis habere hunc uirum in sponsum et illi obedire et servire et eum diligere et honorare ac custodire sanum et infirmum sicut sponsa debet sponsum, etc.

In English, the bride says:

Ich .N. take the .N. to my weddyd housbonde to hau and to holden fro this day forward, for bettere, for wers, for richere for porere, in seknesse and in helthe to be boneyre and buxsum in bedde and at borde, tyl deth us departe, zif holi cherche hit wyle ordeyne and there to y plight the my treuthe.

Lutheran

The wedding vows used in the

Lutheran Church Lutheranism is a major branch of Protestantism that emerged under the work of Martin Luther, the 16th-century German friar and reformer whose efforts to reform the theology and practices of the Catholic Church launched the Reformation in 15 ...

es are as follows:

Anglican

The law in England authorizes marriages to be legal if properly carried out and registered in the Church of England and some other religious bodies (e.g. Jewish, Quakers): other men and women who wish to marry can be married by a local official authorized to do so (civil ceremony). Circumstances may result in the same partners having both ceremonies at different times, though this is rare. The vows, presence of witnesses, and civil registration are absolute requirements under the law. Civil ceremonies often allow couples to choose their own marriage vows, although many civil marriage vows are adapted from the traditional vows, taken from the ''

Book of Common Prayer The ''Book of Common Prayer'' (BCP) is the title given to a number of related prayer books used in the Anglican Communion and by other Christianity, Christian churches historically related to Anglicanism. The Book of Common Prayer (1549), fi ...

'', "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." They were first published in English in the prayer book of 1549, based on earlier Latin texts (the Sarum and York Rituals of the medieval period). An older version of the final phrase is "until death us depart" where "depart" means "separate". "Until death us depart" had to be changed due to changes in the usage of "depart" in the '' Prayer Book of 1662''. In the 1928 prayer book (not authorized) and in editions of the 1662 prayer book printed thereafter "obey" was retained (in the 1928 book an alternative version omitted this). The 1928 revised form of Matrimony was quite widely adopted, though the form of 1662 was also widely used, though less so after the introduction of the '' Alternative Service Book''. The original wedding vows, as printed in the

, are:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love Love is a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment (psychology), attachment to a person, animal, or thing. It is expressed in many forms, encompassing a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most su ...
and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, he says the following:

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

In the ''Alternative Service Book'' (1980) two versions of the vows are included: the bride and groom must select one of the versions only. Version A:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

Version B is identical except for the clause "to love and to cherish" where the groom says "to love, cherish, and worship" and the bride says "to love, cherish, and obey". Since 2000 the service in ''Common Worship'' the normal vows are as follows:

I, ''N'', take you, ''N'', to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.

However, the bride and groom may choose to replace the clause "to love and to cherish" with "to love, cherish, and obey" when the bride makes her vows. On September 12, 1922, the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows. Other churches of the Anglican Communion each have their own authorized prayer books which in general follow the vows described above though the details and languages used do vary.

Quaker

In the

United Kingdom The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, commonly known as the United Kingdom (UK) or Britain, is a country in Northwestern Europe, off the coast of European mainland, the continental mainland. It comprises England, Scotlan ...

, since the first law regulating marriage (the

Marriage Act 1753 The Clandestine Marriages Act 1753 ( 26 Geo. 2. c. 33), also called the Marriage Act 1753, long title "An Act for the Better Preventing of Clandestine Marriage", popularly known as Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act, was the first statutory legisla ...

), the state recognises marriages conducted by the

Society of Friends Quakers are people who belong to the Religious Society of Friends, a historically Protestant Christian set of denominations. Members refer to each other as Friends after in the Bible, and originally, others referred to them as Quakers ...

(Quakers), Jews, and the

. The declarations made in Quaker marriage were first set down in a London Yearly Meeting minute in 1675 as such:

Man: Friends, in the fear of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take my friend ''AB'' to be my wife, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us.

Woman: Friends, in the fear of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take my friend ''CD'' to be my husband, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us.

The procedure is restated in a minute of London Yearly Meeting of 1754, and the declarations remained the same until the twentieth century. In July 1922, the Committee on the Marriage Declaration was set up, and this reported to London Yearly Meeting in 1923, and after reference to a further committee the final phrase was changed to ''as long as we both on earth shall live''; although the option of ''until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us'' remained as an alternative. The current declarations allowed in Britain Yearly Meeting is:

Friends, I take this my friend ameto be my spouse, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto him/her a loving and faithful spouse, so long as we both on earth shall live.

The following alternatives are currently allowed: * The declaration may be prefaced by ''In the presence of God'' * The declaration may be prefaced by ''In the fear of the Lord and in the presence of this assembly'' * The word ''spouse'' may be replaced by ''wife'' or ''husband'' as appropriate or by ''partner in marriage'' * The phrase ''through divine assistance'' may be replaced by the words ''with God’s help'' * The phrase ''so long as we both on earth shall live'' may be replaced by the words ''until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us'' * The declaration may be made in Welsh in "places where the Welsh tongue is used"

Civil marriage

England and Wales

Whilst couples may add to these, under the

Marriage Act 1949 The Marriage Act 1949 ( 12, 13 & 14 Geo. 6. c. 76) is an act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom regulating marriages in England and Wales. The act had prohibited solemnizing marriages during evenings and at night. Since the Marriage Act ...

, all civil marriage in

England and Wales England and Wales () is one of the Law of the United Kingdom#Legal jurisdictions, three legal jurisdictions of the United Kingdom. It covers the constituent countries England and Wales and was formed by the Laws in Wales Acts 1535 and 1542. Th ...

, and marriage by an authorised person (this includes religious marriage not carried out by the

Anglican Anglicanism, also known as Episcopalianism in some countries, is a Western Christianity, Western Christian tradition which developed from the practices, liturgy, and identity of the Church of England following the English Reformation, in the ...

church,

Jewish Jews (, , ), or the Jewish people, are an ethnoreligious group and nation, originating from the Israelites of History of ancient Israel and Judah, ancient Israel and Judah. They also traditionally adhere to Judaism. Jewish ethnicity, rel ...

(Quakers)), must include the following declaration and contracting words:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I ____ may not be joined in matrimony to ____.

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I ____ do take thee ____ to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband.

The ''Marriage Ceremony (Prescribed Words) Act 1996'' allowed an alternative declaration of either:

I declare that I know of no legal reason why I ____ may not be joined in marriage to ____.

''Registrar/Minister'': Are you ____ free lawfully to marry ____
''Man/Woman'': I am.

and an alternative of the contracting words of:

I ____ take you/thee ____ to be my wedded wife/husband.

History

The wedding vows as practised in most English-speaking countries derive ultimately from the

Sarum rite The Use of Sarum (or Use of Salisbury, also known as the Sarum Rite) is the Use (liturgy), liturgical use of the Latin liturgical rites, Latin rites developed at Salisbury Cathedral and used from the late eleventh century until the English Refor ...

of mediaeval England. The first part of the vows of the Sarum rite is given in Latin, but is instructed to be said by the priest "in linguam materna", i.e. in the "mother tongue" of those present. The vows of the first English prayer book of 1549 mostly correspond to those of the Sarum rite.