Li’l Abner

''Li'l Abner'' was a satirical American comic strip that appeared in multiple newspapers in the United States, Canada, and Europe. It featured a fictional clan of hillbillies living in the impoverished fictional mountain village of Dogpatch, USA. Written and illustrated by Al Capp (1909–1979), the strip ran for 43 years, from August 13, 1934, through November 13, 1977. The Sunday page debuted on February 24, 1935, six months after the daily. It was originally distributed by United Feature Syndicate and later by the Chicago Tribune New York News Syndicate.

Before Capp introduced Li'l Abner, his comic strips typically dealt with northern urban American experiences. However, Li'l Abner was his first strip based in the Southern United States. The comic strip had 60 million readers in over 900 American newspapers and 100 foreign papers across 28 countries.

Characters

Main characters

* Li'l Abner Yokum: Abner is portrayed as a simple-minded, gullible, and sweet-natured country bumpkin. He is tall and perpetually 19 years old. He lives in a ramshackle log cabin with his parents. Capp derived the surname "Yokum" as a combination of " yokel" and " hokum". Abner represents the archetype of a Candide — a paragon of innocence in a sardonically dark and cynical world. Abner has no consistent profession but was a "crescent cutter" for the Little Wonder Privy Company and later a "mattress tester" for the Stunned Ox Mattress Company. In one post-World War II storyline, Abner became a US Air Force bodyguard of Steve Cantor (a parody of Steve Canyon) against the evil bald female spy Jewell Brynner (a parody of actor Yul Brynner). Early in the strip's history, Abner's primary goal was evading the marital designs of Daisy Mae, the virtuous, voluptuous, barefoot scion of the Yokums' blood feud enemies: the Scraggs. When Capp finally gave in to reader pressure after 18 years and allowed the couple to tie the knot, it was a major media event, even making the cover of ''Life'' magazine on March 31, 1952 — with an article titled "It's Hideously True!! The Creator of ''Li'l Abner'' Tells Why His Hero Is ''(SOB!)'' Wed!!"
* Daisy Mae Yokum (née Scragg): Daisy Mae is hopelessly in love with Abner throughout the entire 43-year run of the comic strip. During most of the run, the dense Abner exhibited little romantic interest in her. She is curvaceous and sports a famous polka dot peasant blouse and cropped skirt. In 1952, Abner reluctantly proposes to Daisy to emulate the engagement of his comic strip ideal, '' Fearless Fosdick''. Fosdick's wedding to longtime fiancée Prudence Pimpleton turns out to be a dream — but Abner and Daisy's ceremony, performed by Marryin' Sam, is binding. Abner and Daisy Mae's nuptials were a major source of media attention, landing them on the aforementioned cover of ''Life'' magazine's March 31, 1952, issue. Once married, Abner becomes relatively domesticated. Like Mammy Yokum and the other women in Dogpatch, Daisy Mae does all the work, domestic and otherwise — while the men generally do nothing whatsoever.
* Mammy Yokum: Born Pansy Hunks, Mammy, Abner's mother, is the scrawny, highly principled society leader and bare-knuckle champion of the town of Dogpatch. She married Pappy Yokum in 1902; they produced two sons twice their own size. Mammy dominates the Yokum clan through the force of her personality and dominates everyone else with her fearsome right uppercut (sometimes known as her "Goodnight, Irene" punch), which helps her uphold law, order and decency. She is consistently the toughest character throughout ''Li'l Abner.'' Mammy does all the household chores and provides her charges with no fewer than eight meals a day of pork chops and turnips (as well as local Dogpatch delicacies like "candied catfish eyeballs" and "trashbean soup"). Her authority is unquestioned, and her characteristic phrase, "Ah has ''spoken!"'', signaled the end of all discussion. Her most familiar phrase, however, is "Good is better than evil becuz it's ''nicer!"'' Upon his retirement in 1977, Capp declared Mammy to be his personal favorite of all his characters. She is the only character capable of defeating Abner in hand-to-hand combat.
* Pappy Yokum: Born Lucifer Ornamental Yokum, Pappy is the patriarch of a family. Pappy is so lazy and ineffectual he doesn't even bathe himself. Mammy is regularly seen scrubbing Pappy in an outdoor oak tub ("Once a month, rain or shine"). Ironing Pappy's trousers falls under her purview as well, although she doesn't bother to wait for Pappy to remove them first. Pappy is dull-witted and gullible (in one story he is conned by Marryin' Sam into buying vanishing cream because he thinks it makes him ''invisible'' and he picks a fight with his nemesis Earthquake McGoon), but not completely without guile. He had a predilection for snitching "preserved turnips" and smoking corn silk behind the woodshed — Mammy catches him doing so, much to his chagrin. After his lower wisdom teeth grow so long that they squeeze his cerebral Goodness Gland and emerge as forehead horns, he proves himself capable of evil. Mammy solves the problem with a tooth extraction.
* Honest Abe Yokum: Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae's son is born in 1953 "after a pregnancy that ambled on so long that readers began sending me medical books", wrote Capp. Initially known as "Mysterious Yokum" (there was even an Ideal doll marketed under this name) due to a debate regarding his gender (he is stuck in a pants-shaped stovepipe for the first six weeks), he is renamed "Honest Abe" (after President Abraham Lincoln) to thwart his early tendency to steal. His first words are "po'k chop", and they remain his favorite food. Though his uncle Tiny is perpetually frozen at 15 years old, Honest Abe gradually grows from infant to grade school age and looks very much like Washable Jones — the star of Capp's early " topper" strip. He eventually acquires a couple of supporting character friends for his own semi-regularly featured adventures in the strip. In one story, he lives up to his nickname when there is a nationwide search for a pair of socks sewn by Betsy Ross; after finding that his father is their current owner and is preparing to trade them for the reward (a handshake from the President of the United States), Abe confesses that they are not his to give.
* Tiny Yokum: "Tiny" is an ironic misnomer; Li'l Abner's kid brother remains perpetually innocent and 15 years old — despite being tall. Tiny is unmentioned in the strip until September 1954, when a relative who has been raising him reminds Mammy that she'd given birth to a second child while visiting her 15 years earlier. (The relative explains that she would have dropped him off sooner, but waited until she happened to be in the neighborhood.) Capp introduced Tiny to fill the bachelor role played for nearly two decades by Li'l Abner, until his 1952 marriage threw the dynamic of the strip out of whack for a period. Pursued by local lovelies Hopeful Mudd and Boyless Bailey, Tiny is even dumber and more awkward than Abner. Tiny initially sports a bulbous nose like both of his parents, but eventually, (through a plot contrivance) he is given a nose job, and his shaggy blond hair is buzz cut to make him more appealing.
* Salomey: The Yokums' beloved pet pig. Her moniker is a pun on salami and Salome. Cute, lovable and intelligent (arguably smarter than Abner, Tiny or Pappy), she is accepted as part of the family ("the youngest", as Mammy introduces her). Gourmet experts claim she is an insanely valuable 100% "Hammus alabammus" — a fictional species of pig, and the last female known in existence. A plump, juicy ''Hammus alabammus'' is the rarest and most vital ingredient of "ecstasy sauce", an indescribably delicious gourmet delicacy. Consequently, Salomey is frequently targeted by unscrupulous sportsmen, hog breeders and gourmands (like J.R. Fangsley and Bounder J. Roundheels), as well as wild boars (such as Boar Scarloff and Porknoy).

Supporting characters and villains

* Marryin' Sam: A traveling preacher (by mule) who specializes in $2 weddings. He also offers the $8 "ultra-deluxe" special, a ceremony which he officiates while being drawn and quartered by four rampaging jackasses. He cleans up once a year — during Sadie Hawkins season when bachelors are dragged to the altar by their prospective brides. Sam, whose face and figure were reportedly modeled after New York City mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, starts out as a stock villain but gradually softens into a genial, opportunistic comic foil. He isn't above chicanery to achieve his ends and is warily viewed by Dogpatch men as a traitor to his gender. Sam was prominently featured on the cover of ''Life'' in 1952 when he presided over the wedding of Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae. In the 1956 Li'l Abner Broadway musical and 1959 Li'l Abner film adaptation, Sam is played by actor Stubby Kaye.
* Moonbeam McSwine: The unwashed but curvy Moonbeam is one of the iconic hallmarks of ''Li'l Abner'' — an unkempt, lazy, corncob pipe-smoking, flagrant (and ''fragrant)'', raven-haired, earthly (and ''earthy)'' woman. Beautiful Moonbeam prefers the company of pigs to suitors — much to the frustration of her equally lazy father, Moonshine McSwine. She is usually showcased luxuriating among the hogs, somewhat removed from the main action of the story, in a deliberate parody of glamour magazines and pinup calendars of the day. Capp designed her in a caricature of his wife Catherine, who had also suggested Daisy Mae's name. In one comic, it is revealed that she bears a striking resemblance to Gloria Van Welbuilt, a famous socialite. She is generally portrayed as good-natured and kind, as shown when she runs to Dogpatch carrying two shmoos under her arms to save them from going extinct, wondering if humanity would ever be good enough for them. She also tells Abner to stop worrying about being a father. Moonbeam seems to have an interest in romance as in some strips, she is seen flirting with and even kissing various male characters, including Abner. She once expresses the desire to have a family of her own and discusses the matter of trapping a husband with Abner. In one strip, it is revealed that Moonbeam was in love with Abner when they were children. In the same strip, it is shown that Moonbeam's disposition for filth was born out of a failure to understand Abner's interests when he was a child. She actually disliked hogs as a child, but after seeing Abner ignoring the openly romantic advances of a clean Daisy Mae, she dived headfirst into a mud hole where some hogs were wallowing to earn his love, believing that if Abner didn't like clean girls, he must like them dirty. Much to her disappointment, this failed to capture his attention. Moonbeam is also unknowingly the star of a horror movie directed by Rock Pincus, head film director of a species called the Pincushions, from planet Pincus 7. This venture ends when Rock is unknowingly grilled, put into a hot dog bun and devoured while still alive.
* Hairless Joe and Lonesome Polecat: The inseparable, cave-dwelling purveyors of "Kickapoo Joy Juice" — a moonshine elixir of such potency that the fumes alone have been known to melt the rivets off battleships, possibly inspired by a real patent medicine named "Kickapoo Indian Sagwa" although it was produced in Connecticut. Concocted in a large wooden vat by Lonesome Polecat (of the "Fried Dog" Indian tribe, later known as the Polecats, "the one tribe who have never been conquered") and Hairless Joe (a hirsute, club-wielding, modern Cro-Magnon who frequently makes good on his oft-repeated threat, "Ah'll ''bash'' yore ''haid'' in!") The ingredients of the brew are both mysterious and all-encompassing (much like the contents of their cave, which has been known to harbor prehistoric monsters). When a batch "needs more body", the pair simply go out and club one (often a moose), and toss it in. Over the years, the "recipe" has called for live grizzly bears, panthers, kerosene, horseshoes, and anvils, among other ingredients. An officially licensed soft drink called Kickapoo Joy Juice is still produced by the Monarch Beverage Company of Atlanta, Georgia. Lonesome Polecat was also the official team mascot of the Sioux City Soos, a former Minor League baseball franchise of Sioux City, Iowa.
* Joe Btfsplk: The world's worst jinx, Joe Btfsplk has a perpetually dark rain cloud over his head. Instantaneous bad luck befalls anyone in his vicinity. Though well-meaning and friendly, his reputation inevitably precedes him, so he is lonely and thus associates himself with the Scraggs, except in World War II when Joe decides his patriotic duty is to associate himself with Hirohito. He has an apparently unpronounceable name, but creator Al Capp "pronounced" Btfsplk by simply blowing a "raspberry", or Bronx cheer. Joe's personal storm cloud became one of the most iconic images from the strip.
* : His name is a variant of "jackass", as made plain in his campaign slogan (see Dialogue and catchphrases). The senator was Al Capp's parody of a blustering, self-serving Southern politician. Before 1947, Phogbound was known as Fogbound, but in that year Phogbound "blackmails his fellow Washington senators to appropriate two million dollars to establish Phogbound University" and its brass statue of Phogbound, both reminiscent of self-aggrandizements by Huey Long; the name change allowed Capp to call the university P.U. Phogbound is a corrupt, conspiratorial blowhard; he often wears a coonskin cap and carries an old fashioned flintlock rifle to impress his gullible constituents. In one sequence, Phogbound is unable to campaign in Dogpatch, so he sends his aides with an old, hot-air-filled gas bag that resembles him, and nobody notices the difference.
* Available Jones: An avaricious entrepreneur always available for a price. He has many side businesses, including minding babies ("Dry" for 5¢, "Other kinds" for 10¢). He provides anything from safety pins to battleships, but his most famous "provision" is his cousin, Stupefyin' Jones.
* Stupefyin' Jones: A walking aphrodisiac, Stupefyin' is so gorgeous that any man who glimpses her freezes in his tracks and is rooted to the spot. While she is generally favored by the men of Dogpatch, she is dangerous for a confirmed bachelor to encounter on Sadie Hawkins Day. Actress Julie Newmar became famous overnight for playing the role in the 1956 ''Li'l Abner'' Broadway musical (and the 1959 film adaptation) without a single line.
* : Created by Al Capp in June 1953, Bashington T. Bullmoose is a mercenary, cold-blooded, capitalist tyrant tycoon. Bullmoose's motto (see Dialogue and catchphrases) was adapted by Capp from a statement made by Charles E. Wilson, the former head of General Motors when it was America's largest corporation. In 1952, Wilson told a Senate subcommittee, "What is good for the country is good for General Motors, and vice-versa." Wilson later served as United States Secretary of Defense under President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bullmoose had a boyhood dream to possess all the money in the world – which he nearly achieved, as Bullmoose Industries owns or controls all businesses in Dogpatch. He has a milquetoast son named Weakfish, and is sometimes accompanied by his "secretary", Bim Bovak (whose name was a pun on the term "bimbo" and bombshell actress Kim Novak). Li'l Abner becomes embroiled in many globetrotting adventures with Bullmoose over the years. Despite his adamantine exterior, General Bullmoose is capable of a kind of capitalist gallantry. "Those Slobbovians .v.have done me out of a hundred thousand dollars!" he once exclaimed, after falling victim to fraud. "Nearly an hour's income, bless 'em!"
* Wolf Gal: A feral Amazonian beauty who was raised by wolves and prefers to live among them; she lures unwary Dogpatchers to feed her ravenous pack. Wolf Gal is possibly a cannibal, but the point is never stressed since she considers herself an animal, as do the rest of Dogpatch. One of Capp's more popular villains, Wolf Gal was briefly merchandised in the fifties with her own comic book, doll, hand puppet, and latex Halloween mask. (During the Korean war VMFA-121 aka "Wolf Raiders" used a emblem based on her)

* Earthquake McGoon: Billing himself as "the world's dirtiest wrassler", the bearded, bloated McGoon first appears in ''Li'l Abner'' as a traveling exhibition wrestler in the late 1930s, and was reportedly partially based on real-life grappler Man Mountain Dean. He has a look-alike cousin named Typhoon McGoon. McGoon became increasingly prominent in the ''Li'l Abner'' Cream of Wheat print ads of the 1940s, and later, with the early television exposure of wrestlers such as Gorgeous George. Earthquake is the nastiest resident of neighboring Skonk Hollow — a notoriously lawless community where no Dogpatcher dares set foot. McGoon often attempts to walk Daisy Mae home "Skonk Hollow style", the implications of which are never made specific.
* The Scraggs: Hulking, leering, gap-toothed twin miscreants Lem and Luke and their proud father, Romeo. Apelike and gleefully homicidal, the evil Scraggs were officially declared inhuman by an act of Congress, and pass the time by burning down orphanages just to have light to read by (although they quickly remember that they are illiterate). Distant kinfolk of Daisy Mae, they carry on a blood feud with the Yokums throughout the run of the strip; in their first introduction after being run out of a Kentucky county at gunpoint, they try to kill Li'l Abner but are beaten up by both Abner and Mammy Yokum. Mammy then banishes the Scraggs to Skonk Hollow with a dividing line between Skonk Hollow and Dogpatch, with the understanding that although the Scraggs can't cross the line, any member of Dogpatch who does cross becomes their prey. A long-lost kid sister, named "*@!!*!"-Belle Scragg, briefly joins the clan in 1947. Attired in a prison-striped reform school miniskirt, "*@!!*!"-Belle is outwardly attractive but as rotten as her siblings on the inside. Her censored first name is an expletive, compelling everyone who addresses her to apologize profusely afterwards.
* Nightmare Alice: Dogpatch's own "conjurin' woman", a hideous, cackling crone who practices Louisiana Voodoo and black magic. Capp named her after the carnival-themed horror film, '' Nightmare Alley'' (1947). She employs witchcraft to "whomp up" ghosts and monsters to do her bidding. She is occasionally assisted by Doctor Babaloo, a witch doctor of the Belgian Congo, as well as her demonic niece Scary Lou, who specializes in hexing voodoo dolls that resemble Li'l Abner.
* Ole Man Mose: The mysterious Mose is reportedly hundreds of years old, and lives like a hermit in a cave atop a mountain, refusing to "kick the bucket", which is positioned just outside his cave door. His wisdom is absolute ("Ole Man Mose — ''he knows!"''), and his sought-after annual Sadie Hawkins Day predictions — though cryptic and misleading — are 100% accurate.
* Evil Eye Fleagle: Fleagle has a unique skill: the evil eye. A "whammy", as he calls it, can stop a charging bull in its tracks. A "double whammy" can fell a skyscraper, leaving Fleagle exhausted. His dreaded "triple whammy" can melt a battleship but would practically kill Fleagle in the process. The zoot suit-clad Fleagle is a native of Brooklyn, and his New York accent is unmistakable — especially when addressing his "goil", the zaftig Shoiley. Fleagle was so popular, that licensed plastic replicas of Fleagle's face were produced in the 1950s, to be worn as lapel pins. Battery-operated, the wearer could pull a string and produce a flashing light bulb "whammy". Fleagle was reportedly based on a real-life person, a Runyonesque local boxing trainer and hanger-on named Benjamin "Evil Eye" Finkle. Finkle and his famous "hex" were a ringside fixture in New York boxing circles during the 1930s/40s. Fleagle was portrayed by character actor Al Nesor in the stage play and film.
* J. Roaringham Fatback: The bloated, self-styled "Pork King" is a greedy, unscrupulous business tycoon. Incensed to find that Dogpatch casts a shadow on his breakfast egg, he has the whole community moved for his convenience.
* Gat Garson: Li'l Abner's ''doppelgänger'', a murderous racketeer with an interest in Daisy Mae.
* Aunt Bessie: Mammy's socialite kid sister, the Duchess of Bopshire, and the "white sheep" of the family. Bessie's string of marriages into Boston and Park Avenue aristocracy leave her a classist, condescending snob. Her status-seeking crusades to make Abner over and marry him off into high society are always doomed to failure. Aunt Bessie virtually disappears from the strip after Abner and Daisy Mae's marriage in 1952, having conceded defeat in her attempt to remake Abner in her own image as a social climber.
* Big Barnsmell: The lonely "inside man" at the "Skonk Works" — a dilapidated factory located on the remote outskirts of Dogpatch. Scores of locals are done in yearly by the toxic fumes of concentrated "skonk oil", which is brewed and barreled daily by Barnsmell and his cousin ("outside man" Barney Barnsmell) by grinding dead skunks and worn shoes into a smoldering still, for some unspecified purpose. His job wreaks havoc on his social life ("He has an air about him," as Dogpatchers put it), and the name of his facility entered the modern lexicon via the Lockheed Skunk Works project.
* Soft-Hearted John: Dogpatch's mercenary, black-hearted grocer, the ironically named Soft-Hearted John gleefully swindles and starves his clientele and looks disturbingly satanic. He has an idiot nephew who sometimes runs the store in his stead, named Soft-Headed John.
* Smilin' Zack: A cadaverous, outwardly peaceable mountaineer with a menacing grin and shotgun, who prefers things "quiet" to the point of silence. Zack's moniker is a reference to another comic strip, ''The Adventures of Smilin' Jack'' by Zack Mosley.
* Dr. Killmare: The local Dogpatch physician who is a horse doctor. His name is a pun on '' Dr. Kildare''.
* Cap'n Eddie Ricketyback: Decrepit World War I aviator and proprietor/sole operator of the even more decrepit Dogpatch Airlines. Cap'n Eddie's name is a spoof of decorated World War I flying ace, Eddie Rickenbacker Civil Aviation Chief. He is never photographed without his World War I spiked helmet on his head. He wears it to cover the hole in his head from being shot "clean through th' haid, in a dogfight over Flanders Field in 1918" by Cap'n Eddie Ricketyback. Nonetheless, the two old enemies eventually patch things up; Cap'n Ricketyback persuades the Count to settle in the States. "Jah!" cries the Count. "I got a cousin in Milvaukee!" Von Holenhedt is the only person able to properly play the "pfschlngg", a complexly-shaped brass instrument, part of whose tubing needs to pass ''through'' the player's head.
* Weakeyes Yokum: Cousin Weakeyes mistakes grizzly bears for romantically inclined "rich gals" in fur coats, and ends sequences characteristically by walking off a cliff.
* Young Eddie McSkonk and U.S. Mule: The ancient, creaky, white-bearded Dogpatch postmaster and his hoary jackass mount. They are usually too feeble to handle the sacks of timeworn, cobweb-covered letters marked "Rush" at the Dogpatch Express Post Office.
* J. Colossal McGenius: The brilliant marketing consultant and "idea man" who charges $10,000 per word for his sought-after business advice which usually bankrupts his clients. McGenius is given to telling long-winded jokes with forgotten punch lines, as well as for spells of hiccups and belches (borne of a fondness for gassy soft drinks like " Burpsi-Booma" and " Eleven Urp"). He is aided by his lovely and meticulously efficient secretary, Miss Pennypacker.
* Silent Yokum: Prudent Cousin Silent never utters a word unless it's vitally important. Consequently, he hasn't spoken in 40 years. The arrival of Silent in Dogpatch signals earthshaking news on the horizon. Capp would milk readers' suspense by having Silent "warm up" his rusty, creaking jaw muscles for a few days, before the momentous pronouncement.
* Happy Vermin: The "world's smartest cartoonist" — a caricature of Ham Fisher — who hires Li'l Abner to draw his comic strip for him in a dimly-lit closet. Instead of using Vermin's tired characters, Abner peoples the strip with hillbillies. Vermin tells his assistant: "I'm proud of having created these characters!! They'll make millions for me!! And if they do — I'll get ''you'' a new light bulb!!"
* Big Stanislouse; aka Big Julius: Stanislouse is a brutal gangster with a childish fondness for TV superheroes (like "Chickensouperman" and "Milton the Masked Martian"). Part of a virtual goon squad of comic mobsters that inhabit ''Li'l Abner'' and ''Fearless Fosdick'', the oafish Stanislouse alternates with other all-purpose underworld thugs, including "the Boys from the Syndicate" — Capp's euphemism for The Mob.
* The Square-Eyes Family: Mammy's encounter with these unpopular Dogpatch outcasts first appears in 1956 as a thinly-veiled appeal for racial tolerance. It was later issued as an educational comic book — called ''Mammy Yokum and the Great Dogpatch Mystery!'' — by the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai B'rith.
* Appassionata Von Climax: One of a series of predatory, sexually aggressive sirens who pursue Li'l Abner prior to his marriage, and even afterward, much to the consternation of Daisy Mae. One of many femmes fatales and spoiled debutantes, including Gloria Van Welbilt, Moonlight Sonata, Mimi Van Pett and "The Tigress"; Appassionata was portrayed by Tina Louise (on stage) and Stella Stevens (on film). Capp was surprised he got her suggestive name past censors.
* Tenderleif Ericson: Discovered frozen in the mud where her Viking ship sank in 1047, Tenderleif is Leif Ericson's beautiful seventeen-year-old sister (complete with breastplate, Viking helmet and Norwegian accent). As soon as she sees Li'l Abner, she starts to warm up and breathe hard, as she hasn't had a date for nine hundred years.
* Princess Minihahaskirt: A Native American princess. One of the several Native women who try to seduce Lonesome Polecat, the including Minnie Mustache, Raving Dove, Little Turkey Wing, and Princess Two Feathers.
* Liddle Noodnik: A naked and miserable resident of perpetually frozen Lower Slobbovia, Liddle Noodnik usually recites a farcical poem to greet visiting dignitaries or sings the Slobbovian national anthem. Like many terms in ''Li'l Abner'', Noodnik's name was derived from Yiddish; ''Nudnik'' is a slang term for a bothersome person or pest.
* Pantless Perkins: A late addition to the strip, Pantless Perkins is Honest Abe's brainy friend from a series of kid-friendly stories in the 1970s, probably created to compete with ''Peanuts''. Pantless doesn't own any trousers and wears an oversized turtleneck sweater to hide this fact. In one storyline, he helps Honest Abe find the long-lost lover of a millionaire in return for a pair of pants. Unfortunately, the prospective groom drops dead after tasting the terrible cooking of his bride-to-be, and Pantless remains without pants.
* Rotten Ralphie: The child version of Earthquake McGoon, Ralphie is Dogpatch's neighborhood bully. Exceedingly large for his age, Ralphie always wears a cowboy outfit that is several sizes too small. In one storyline, after Ralphie beats up every boy in Dogpatch at the same time, Pantless Perkins and Honest Abe trick him into getting into a fight with the Scragg boys of Skonk Hollow, who beat him up.
* Marcia Perkins: An outwardly normal teenager whose lips give off 451 °F of electromagnetic heat, frying the brain of any boy who kisses her. Declared a walking health hazard, Marcia wears a public warning sign ("Do Not Kiss This Girl, by Order of the Dept. of Health, Education and Welfare"). Her notoriety precedes her everywhere except in Dogpatch, where she meets and falls for Tiny Yokum.
* Bet-a-Million Bashby: Bashby amasses his colossal fortune by always betting on sure things and betting with fools. However, Abner always wins bets against him through foolish luck.
* The Widder Fruitful: A iconic Dogpatch regular often glimpsed in passing or featured in crowd scenes. The ample widow is always holding three or four naked newborns under each arm carried backside forward, with a large brood of children following behind her.
* Loverboynik: In 1954, Capp sent a letter to Liberace stating his intention to spoof him in ''Li'l Abner'' as "Liverachy". Liberace had his lawyers threaten to sue. Capp changed the name and went ahead anyway. Nicknamed the "Sweetheart of the Piano", Loverboynik is a blonde, dimpled pianist and TV heartthrob. According to Capp, Liberace was "cut to the quick" when the parody appeared. Capp insisted that Loverboynik was not Liberace because Loverboynik "could play the piano rather decently and rarely wore black lace underwear."
* Rock Hustler: An unscrupulous publicity agent turned marketing mogul. He masterminds an advertising campaign promoting the miracle diet food "Mockaroni", not disclosing that it's both addictive and lethal: "The more you crave, the more you eat. The more you eat, the thinner you get — until you float away..."
* Dumpington Van Lump: The bloated, almost catatonic heir to the Van Lump fortune, Dumpington can only utter one syllable ("Urp!") until he sees Daisy Mae for the first time. His favorite book is called ''How to Make Lampshades Out of Your Friends''. Capp chose the Dumpington storyline to illustrate his lesson on continuity in storytelling in the ''Famous Artists Cartoon Course''.
* Sam the Centaur: A mythical creature with a chiselled profile and blonde mane. Sam is a Greek centaur who occasionally roams the mountains of Dogpatch instead of the mountains of Thessaly. Available Jones insists that he isn't real.
* Jubilation T. Cornpone: Dogpatch's founder and most famous resident, memorialized by a town statue. He was a Confederate known for "Cornpone's Retreat", "Cornpone's Disaster", "Cornpone's Stupidity", "Cornpone's Misjudgment", "Cornpone's Hoomiliation", and "Cornpone's Final Mistake". Cornpone was such an incompetent military leader that he came to be considered an important asset of the opposing side. According to the ''Li'l Abner'' stage play, the statue was commissioned by Abraham Lincoln. In one storyline, the statue is filled with Kickapoo Joy juice, which brings it to life. It then goes on a rampage, beheading all the statues of Union Army generals. The U.S. Army can't destroy it, since it's a National Monument, so Kickapoo Joy Juice is poured into a Union statue, which results in both statues annihilating each other. At Mammy Yokum's urging, the statue pieces are put back together with glue. The general is the namesake of a musical number in the ''Li'l Abner'' musical, sung by Marryin' Sam and chorus.
* Jubilation T. Cornpone Jr: The son of General Cornpone. A former commander of army mules, he becomes Commander of all U.N. Forces against Invaders from Outer Space, despite being the most incompetent general of all time. He is given the job because no other general would take it. Cornpone falls in love with Princess Pocahauntingeyes and lives with her in the land above Dogpatch, connected by the "Trashbean stalk". He ruefully admits to Honest Abe that his wife eyes have been getting smaller while her mouth gets bigger!
* Romeo McHaystack: An aspiring Don Juan from Pineapple Junction, whose attempts at romancing women are frustrated because of the Civic Improvement League tattooing a warning about him on his forehead. He decides to go after Dogpatch women when he discovers that radioactive waste is suspended above the town, casting it permanently in darkness.
* Sadie Hawkins: Sadie Hawkins is considered the homeliest girl in Dogpatch. Her father Hekzebiah Hawkins, a prominent Dogpatch resident, does not want Sadie to live at home for the rest of his life, and establishes the first annual Sadie Hawkins Day, a foot race in which all the unmarried women pursued the town's bachelors and get married if they catch them. A pseudo-holiday created in the strip, it's still frequently observed today in the form of Sadie Hawkins dances, where it is customary for women to ask men to dance.
* Lena the Hyena: An ugly Lower Slobbovian girl, initially only glimpsed from the neck down''.'' Lena is so ugly that anyone who sees her is immediately driven insane. After weeks of hiding Lena's face behind "censored" stickers and strategically placed dialogue balloons, Capp invited fans to draw Lena in a nationwide contest in 1946. Lena was ultimately revealed in the winning entry (as judged by Frank Sinatra, Boris Karloff and Salvador Dalí) drawn by cartoonist Basil Wolverton

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