In psychology, emotional safety refers to an emotional state achieved in attachment relationships wherein each individual is open and vulnerable. The concept is primarily used by couples' therapists to describe

intimate relationships An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love. Intimate relationships are interdependent, and the member ...

. When a relationship is emotionally safe, the partners trust each other and routinely give each other the benefit of the doubt in questionable situations. When emotional safety is lost, the partners are inclined to be distrustful, looking for possible hidden meanings and potential threats in each other's words and behaviors.

Origins

The emotional safety model of couples therapy was developed by psychologist Don R. Catherall. The model focuses on the two realms of "attachment" and "esteem", contending that each partner measures their safety by their perception of the other partner's feelings in these two realms. If each perceives the other partner to be securely attached and each holds the other high regard, they feel emotionally safe. But if one perceives threat in either realm, then he or she will lose emotional safety and may react. If he or she reacts in a negative fashion (usually by either attacking or distancing from the partner), then said reaction can constitute a threat to the other partner's emotional safety. If the other partner responds in a similarly negative fashion, a vicious cycle may begin in which each partner's reaction to a perceived threat creates a reciprocal threat to the other partner. Once caught in these cycles, partners have considerable difficulty re-achieving emotional safety.

Evidence

Research on couples has identified a sudden, abrupt shift in physiological functioning (the

fight-or-flight response The fight-or-flight or the fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn (also called hyperarousal or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival. It was first describ ...

) that occurs when a partner suddenly perceives something amiss in the intimate relationship. Proponents of the emotional safety model contend that these shifts are precipitated by a partner's perception of change in the other's

affective Affect, in psychology, is the underlying experience of feeling, emotion, attachment, or mood. It encompasses a wide range of emotional states and can be positive (e.g., happiness, joy, excitement) or negative (e.g., sadness, anger, fear, dis ...

tone regarding their emotional relationship (i.e. the partners' feelings about themselves, each other, and their relationship).

Theoretical foundation

The emotional safety model utilizes the

affect theory Affect theory is a theory that seeks to organize affects, sometimes used interchangeably with emotions or subjectively experienced feelings, into discrete categories and to typify their physiological, social, interpersonal, and internalized manife ...

Silvan Tomkins Silvan Solomon Tomkins (June 4, 1911 – June 10, 1991) was a psychologist and personality theorist who developed both affect theory and script theory. Following the publication of the third volume of his book ''Affect Imagery Consciousness'' i ...

to explain the ways in which partners influence each other through their affective tone. Attachment is based on attachment relationships as identified by

John Bowlby Edward John Mostyn Bowlby (; 26 February 1907 – 2 September 1990) was a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, notable for his interest in child development and for his pioneering work in attachment theory. A ''Review of General Psychology'' ...

, while esteem is based on

Nathaniel Branden Nathaniel Branden (born Nathan Blumenthal; April 9, 1930 – December 3, 2014) was a Canadian Americans, Canadian–American psychotherapy, psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. A former associate ...

's work on self-esteem and Donald Nathanson's work on

shame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion often associated with negative self-evaluation; motivation to quit; and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. Definition Shame is a discrete, basic emotion, d ...

Implications

The emotional safety model differs from other models of couples' therapy in its emphasis on each partner's perception of the other's feelings regarding the emotional relationship. The model emphasizes that each partner has more influence on the ''other'' partner's state of emotional safety than on their own, which can lead to an impasse referred to as the "couple's conundrum"; i.e. the couple remains stuck because each partner needs to feel safe before they can make themselves vulnerable and take the appropriate steps to make the other partner feel safe. Emotional safety in the workplace was first introduced in the best-selling book by Henry Evans and Colm Foster, PhD, "Step Up: Lead in Six Moments that Matter". An emotionally safe organization makes informed decisions and solves problems faster, reduces attrition and increases retention of top talent, makes people feel safe and appreciated, even when delivering bad news, and established a cultural environment where people can communicate effectively and develop personally and professionally.

References

{{Reflist Mental states Relationship counseling